Episode 27: PRESSURE

Just Two Cousins Chattering!! 

"WWYD" (What Would Ya'll Do?) Need Advice? Email Us at JUSTCUZ80s@gmail.com & We'll Chat About It On The Next Episode. 

New Episode Every Monday at Midnight!  

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to Jens Cuz Podcast. I'm Jay. This is Katina. Hey, y'all. Hey! We back. This is May. We're still in May, y'all. I thought we were in June already.

SPEAKER_00 0:13

It's coming. It's right on the morning.

SPEAKER_02 0:16

Girl, it ain't but like three days in the month. I know. I had to say three because you know my birthday on the third one.

SPEAKER_01 0:22

I know. So you just that's that's the only thing that you're concerned about. It's one, two, three. One day. Only three days in May, guys. Then we go to June. Don't worry about it. We're in June as a machine. Oh my God, guys. You already know we got this little thing. We're gonna let you know what we're talking about first. So you know you can take your time.

SPEAKER_02 0:44

You gotta see the happy birthday. Happy, happy birthday. Yeah, I'm a toy. Oh, not now.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

This time I showed we do it how we want to do it. So listen. The topic today is gonna be about pressure, guys. Marinate on that.

SPEAKER_02 1:01

Pressure. The pressure be real. Ooh, good gracious. That sounds like that's something deep. Real deep. That's strong. Oh, strong medicine. Strong coffee. Coffee. That's black coffee. Here we go. Here we here we go. She got a song.

SPEAKER_01 1:16

If you have a birthday, if you had a birthday, if it's your birthday, if it's your birthday, if you had a birthday, if you had a birthday. It's your birthday. It's your birthday. Happy birthday to your happy birthday. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday to you. Ooh, that was doo. I like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:40

Somebody is gonna grab these little jingles that you keep making up and they're gonna be like, oh, this needs to be the jingle for the j. Yeah, okay, y'all. And you heard it live here from Jay on just cuz Polly.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

And if you hear it somewhere else, you better send me a message and let me know because I'm going, uh oh.

SPEAKER_02 1:59

Do you hear me? But she's willing to discuss and negotiate with you on uh with a contract to uh compensation.

SPEAKER_01 2:05

And am. Okay, and you better believe it. So, guys, let me shout out my um brother-in-law. All right, brother Tim. Uh Tim had a birthday. Happy birthday. He had a birthday last week, guys. He had a birthday on that good old Friday. Ooh, a Friday birthday.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

That's a turnout birthday. When you're young too.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:27

And he's young.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

And he's young. I know he enjoyed his stuff. I'm gonna let him live his best life. Let me leave him low. All right, y'all. So, Tina. Yeah, what's your mood? How you feeling? What you doing? Check in with your people, y'all.

SPEAKER_02 2:40

Checking in with your people. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. Um, today, yeah, I'm gonna just leave it at that. Like, you know, I'm good. I am coasting. I'm coasting. You know, we're at the end of the week. Thank God. Jesus, thank you. Jesus. The end of the work week. By no means am I trying to rush time or nothing like that. But sometimes, sometimes your week can just be filled with so much stuff.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

Yes. To talk about it.

SPEAKER_02 3:08

I mean, down to the, it can be the issues and situations, the work, just so much stuff, the busy, so much of that stuff, the bills, so much stuff. So much stuff. But then it's something about when good old Friday comes through. Okay. Good old Friday coming through. Friday. I don't know what it's something about good old Friday coming through. It just makes me. I still feel the same way about Friday I did when I was a kid. Remember, we talked about this before. We talked about this before with um thank God it was Friday Thank God it's Friday. T G I S.

SPEAKER_03 3:43

T G I S.

SPEAKER_02 3:44

I still feel the same way. I still feel the same. I every week me and my mom look at each other and say, whoo, it's Friday. And we look at them like, girl, you made it through. Okay. Period. Yes, indeed. So I'm coasting. We made it, we, you know, we made it through. It's it's Friday for us. So I'm good.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

She's cruising. So since Tina told you it's Friday, Sunday, really today is is little Tim birthday. So happy birthday, Tim. Um, but anyway, so my mood. I think my mood, I like your cruising. I think that's dope. Like you chilling, you just, you know, going along. I can see you sipping your tea. Um, I'm focused. Oh, that's good. I I am very focused. Um, and I can't, I have to be honest, I can't say that I feel like I'm like cruising and like everything is just, you know, smooth rolling right now. To me, it's like I I've turned up a notch. Alright. It's like, it's like my it's like business-wise in my life, like, it's like it's go time. It's like it's time to get up and walk. Like it's time to go. It's time to get this stuff done. Yes. It's time to revisit some things that you worked on before and to pick it back up and follow back up on it and do this and do that. So like I'm focused. I feel like it's just so much to be done. It's so much that we have before us. And I don't want to waste time. That's what's up. I don't want to waste time. Life is too short. We're losing people. It seems like we're losing people every day now. Right. And it's just like there is no time to waste. And so, you know, you gotta be about your business, you gotta be about intentional with your stuff. And that that word intentional comes up all the time. But you have to be intentional, you have to be focused, you have to, you have to be able to to um be in a place to where you are doing exactly what it what you know that you have been purposed to do, what you have been driven to do. And so I'm heading towards your cruising because for me, it's like you're doing it. So you're cruising. Because you've been doing it, you've been applying it, you've been doing it, you've been putting it in, you've been doing all that. So hyper. No, but I'm serious. I'm serious. So it means that it means that you're at a you're steady. I appreciate that. But think about it. What what we gotta do before we can get to the place of being steady, right? Or to the place that we are content. Because if you tell me you're cruising, I know you're content. So God wants us to be content. Yeah, that's good. He wants us to be in a place to where, you know, we're we're coasting, we're steady moving, or what have you. And so I think I'm I'm getting I'm I'm getting there. I'm making those starts there or whatever. So I like that. That's my mood, y'all. I like that. I like that. It was a little, you know, wordy. But it's a truth.

SPEAKER_02 7:12

It was good because you couldn't just say that and not explain that. The way that you explained that, actually, you're probably helping somebody else out here that's trying to figure it out and where they are. Yeah. Exactly where they are. Yeah. You just explained it. You gotta get the cruising. Yeah. You gotta, you gotta get there. Focus. You it requires focus before you can get the cruising. So I I like it. I like it. I like it.

SPEAKER_01 7:35

Yeah, baby. It ain't time to press that cruise control yet, honey. I gotta, I gotta get right. I gotta get on that level highway. It's when the car's in front of me. All right, y'all. Beep, beep, beep, beep. All right, guys. So it's your favorite. Oh, yeah. It's my favorite. It's my nephew Pope's favorite. It is, it's everybody's favorite. W W Y D. What would y'all do? Guys, this is your segment. This is where you get to write in. You get to say, honey, I done had something on my mind. Let's talk about it. I need some advice because I don't know what I'm about to do. Oh, God help me. So, okay, you get to write in. You can DM us. We're on all the socials. You can send us an email to just 80s at gmail.com. That seems to be the popular one. Like, people like to see it that way. So, anyway, this is y'all's time. Let's see who came through and let's work it out. All right. So, I don't see a name, but we're gonna go with it. Let's just read it. Okay, we understand. Hey ladies, this is a serious question. Uh-oh. Things are different in my marriage. Okay. I've been married for 20 years, and I cannot say it's all been happy.

SPEAKER_00 8:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 8:57

I know and have heard about relationship cycle goes in cycles, but I believe this is new territory for us. This feels like the end. I don't know if I have any more fight in me. Starting over is not an option. So single it would be. Oh, man on the edge in Seattle. WWYD.

SPEAKER_02 9:25

Ooh, he ain't sleepless in Seattle. He on the edge. Uh-huh. Oh, wow. Ooh, friend. You want to start? Oh, God, Tina. I'm going to let you start it out.

SPEAKER_01 9:39

Okay, man on the edge in Seattle. First of all, I need you to back up off the edge. So please take my hand, honey. Let me pull you back. Okay. Get off the edge. Yeah, take my hand and pull you back. Cause don't be on the edge, okay? Um, no, seriously. 20 years of marriage. So I am so far from 20 years right now of marriage. Still very fresh. Um, but what I can say is I can relate to how relationships go in cycles. I can relate to how things change. I can imagine that if you have been married for 20 years, you have seen some ups, you have seen some downs. There may have been more downs than there have been ups, or vice versa. And so one of the things that you said is like you have no more fight in you. Um, and that you're saying this did that this is different. And so you recognize this is totally different than anything you've ever experienced before. And so I don't think we need to ignore that. I think we need to unpack that and un and explore that and really understand what your next steps are. Because for me, and like I said, this is just what would I do, I would start to self-evaluate. If something has happened or something has pushed things here, I'm not even, I'm just saying don't even look at that right now. Because it has been 20 years worth of marriage. So I would say self-evaluate, start to take inventory of you and how you show up in this marriage, what that looks like, how has that looked? What have what has been the um the you know ups and downs for you? How what what decisions have you made? Um, what mistakes have you made? Um, to what have you contributed to things being whatever it is? And to and take time to look at that, unpack that. And maybe in the beginning, you might not have those answers because sometimes we can't see ourselves right away. But if you sit in it and you say, okay, might need to take out a pen and a paper, start to journal this thing out, start to talk it through. Because, and I'm saying all this because I don't want you to make a rash decision, and it's been so long. Like, if you're going to make the decision to say, I'm gonna stay, or you're gonna make the decision to say, I'm gonna leave, let it be sound, let it be very sound, and let it be that you have done everything that you know that you can do before you make that decision. And once you sit with yourself and you unpack it with yourself, then you have the opportunity to say, okay, I'm clear on where I stand in this. Then you go to your partner, and you and your partner may not be able to have that conversation, unpack that by y'all by you all self. You may have to have some counsel, you may have to have um a therapist or um a pastor, leader, someone that can be neutral and look at both sides and help you both to make the appropriate decision for the both of you. Not for them, but for the both of you. And so that would be my advice because if you've given 20 years and you may have children and stuff as well, um, and that, you know, if it's 20 years, I'm pretty sure they've grown and stuff now and all of that. Just understand who you are in this next phase, understand what your desires are, what your needs are in this next stage, and be bold in saying it and understanding it. And when you come to the table and when you get ready to talk to your spouse, you got all the tools that you need to be able to take and say, This is what I'm going to need moving forward, whether it's the good or the bad of the situation.

SPEAKER_02 14:05

That is excellent advice. Excellent, excellent. You touched on so many points. So many points, that's excellent. I I will echo a few of the things that you said, but I was I will start by saying um I have been married for 20 some years. Yes, she has. She should have started first, y'all. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. No, that doesn't mean that I I got all the answers. But I have been married 20-some plus years. And so you go through all these different phases throughout your marriage. Because understand that as you grow and your marriage matures, you become different people in different stages of your life. You start to figure out who you are, what you like, what you're willing to compromise on, and what you're not willing to compromise on.

SPEAKER_03 15:00

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 15:00

And those are things that's why a marriage is work daily. A lot of people think that a marriage is something that they can just go into. They just want the the a big old dress, a big old, I mean, a nice dress, a big old wedding, and a huge um um um reception, you know, they want to spend all the money, but they don't realize that there's work that comes behind all of that. It you it's it's not TV, it's not fantasy, it's real subjects, real scenarios that you have to deal with every single day. And you have to understand that you are sharing your life with another person. So everything can't be about you. It's not, you know, it can't be just one way. And now, me speaking as a woman, me speaking as a woman, I can say and see from the other side, like me being a woman, see from the other side that you being a man, there's a lot of demands that come in marriage when it comes to a man. And so it can be draining. It can be draining, but that's what your partner is supposed to be there for to help hold you up. She's your help meet, you know. So she's supposed to be there to hold the help hold you up. But one thing I would definitely say is that communication is key. Communication is key that you're talking to your spouse, you know, that you're talking to your wife and you're letting her know about your feelings. Don't sit there quiet because a lot of times, even though we know each other, but like I said, remember, as the marriage matures, so do we, and we change. But we are changed, you know, over time. So you need to, y'all need to make sure that y'all, like, well, we we the the check-in, a check-in is for real. That's for real. Like you can't just you can't just go on with your daily um routine like everything is okay and things are changing, talk, discuss things. Not only that, but something that's important too is to remember why you fell in love with the person that you fell in love with and how you got to the place that you got to the place to. I guess that makes sense. I don't know. I understand what's going on. You know, you get what I'm saying, but it it allows you to go back. So if you think and you go back to how you met that person and how the love ignited, you need to still be doing those same things because she's looking at you, looking for some of those same things, maybe not all, but some of them. And in the timing that you have, you know, because we become busy when we're married, you have you have your life, you have your family, you become busy. But still, you have to make the time for that. That's one thing that me and my husband do, and a lot of people they look at us and they're like, Man, y'all just be going places, yeah, because it's a requirement. And we have to make it a requirement so that we can make sure that we're on the same page and that we can make sure that we're showing each other the attention that um we deserve. So you have to continue to do those things. It's not okay to just lay off of those things. That's what attracted you to that person, right? It attracted you to that person. So, conversations, um, go back, revisit, um, evaluate where you are now. Don't expect it to all be all chummy and and TB land and dreamy. It's not, you know, even though you're you're 20 years in, it doesn't mean that it's over just because you're going through this situation. Yeah, talk it through. Just like Jay said, if it requires that you go and talk to somebody, go talk to somebody. If you have a pastor, go talk to a pastor. If you need a therapist, y'all go talk to a therapist, go talk to somebody because you'll find out a lot of things when you have another party. Sometimes that's what it takes with some people is that different perspective. Yeah. And sometimes it takes someone else to kind of help map out, you know, a situation to give understanding to another person. We talk to one another like we're in each other's head. We're not. We're not. We cannot predict everything when it comes to our spouses. We're not in each other's head. So sometimes it's good to have a third party there if you need therapy or something like that. But something else that I know that works is prayer. So prayer is something that I would definitely advise if that's not something that you guys are already doing. A lot of people, a lot of couples, husbands and wives, they miss that step. They might pray separately or they might not even pray at all. I think it's very important that you pray together because you become a stronger bond and you lift one another up and you have a different respect for one another when you pray together. And the order in which the marriage is supposed to be in, that foundation is laid. What? And that's a whole nother conversation. But what I'll say though, that is what you need to do together. Now, the part about going to talk to someone and all that stuff, if the if one doesn't necessarily want to do that, they don't want to um, you know, go talk to um a therapist or talk to a pastor, whatever, still that does not disqualify you from being able to do that. Right, exactly. Because sometimes there's things and there's issues that we need to figure out for ourselves. So it's not a bad thing, even if you decided that it was, you know, that you needed to be the one to go and talk to someone, to go talk to your pastor or or whome, you know, whomever, whatever. But the only thing with it when it comes to that is that the person that you talk to, I advise that it be someone that you know is going to be confidential. I don't advise that it be friends because sometimes we give too much information when it comes to our marriage is sacred. And we have to be very, we have to be very um protective of that.

SPEAKER_01 20:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:41

And friends love us, right? But that's why they're our friends, right? So they have a look at it. And they're biased. Exactly. That's my point, exactly. That's why I say a pastor or a therapist or something like that, someone that is not, someone that's not biased. But even though it's been a long time and you do go through through these different stages, um, like I said, throughout your marriage, because things are changing. And heaven forbid if you got sick um um sick parents or family members and things like that, all those things weigh on you as an individual when it comes to your marriage, and it leaves you with less to be able to give. So bring attention to all those things and and put all those things on the table and you know, as a discussion so that each one of you can have an understanding of what it is that's going on. A lot of times you we be in that same household and don't even know what's going on in the in the life of the one that we're married to.

SPEAKER_00 21:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:35

Because the conversation just ain't deep enough. And because you come home and you're tired. You tired. You look you ready to lay down. Mm-hmm. You know, so those are the things that I would say that are very um that are very important. And that's just adding on top of what Jay said. Cause I feel like what Jay said was very, very key.

SPEAKER_01 21:54

And you brought up something though, because you brought up something about, you know, God forbid if you're dealing with like, Parents and loss and stuff like this. This is the age where you are losing a lot of people. And I am a firm believer and understanding, like I am, I feel like I'm in that season where a lot of your memories, the people that you have these memories with, they're fading, they're leaving. And sometimes that can they can kind of trickle over into like your relationship because you could feel a overwhelming an overwhelming feeling of loss that may be projected in your relationship. And it may just not be in your marriage. It could be in your relationship with your kids, it could be in your relationships with your siblings or whatever. Because you're you're actively going through this. This is something that is happening. But understand this, it's also something that is happening right now. That's right. It is not something that is eternal. When you get married, when we get married, we say we want to do this eternally. That's right. And so when you say that you want to do this, it's through sickness and health and sickness. And you will be tested. And you're gonna be tested with all that stuff. And so it's I I want to say that it is okay that this feels different for you. I want to bring normalization to what seems to be so confusing right now. It is okay that you're in this space. That's right. It is okay that you feel this way. And until you talk to your spouse, your spouse may feel the same way. Because guess what? You can feel one another. You have been together so long to where I have even heard people say, older people, our heartbeats are sing. That's right. Because we've been together so long, and you know, this is something that we're walking out, not just physically, but we're spiritually walking this out as well. So we have literally become one. That's right. And so um, I, you know, I I also kind of feel like it would be selfish for you to go through this by yourself. Um, because this is a vow that you took. And so I just think that it's okay to invite her into the conversation. It's okay to invite her to the table. The table don't always look good. Right. The table don't always have what you have what you wanted. Right. But you sit there, you deal with it, you unpack it, you go through it. And I know that y'all done hit some rough stuff before now, okay? And the same way you got through that, the same way you can navigate through this no matter what the outcome is. Because I also want to make sure that we don't care bear things and rainbow things. Because if something has ran its course, you'll know.

SPEAKER_02 25:04

Right.

SPEAKER_01 25:05

And I think that's just being transparent and open. Now we're about saving relationships. Let's let's be clear. Let's be very clear.

SPEAKER_02 25:14

We ain't trying to, we ain't trying to break nobody up. You know what? But I understand why he's saying, you know what, if this because in so many words, he's saying, if this don't work, then I'm gonna be single. Period. Like I know. I understand why he says that. Because when you put so much time and so much effort into something, because when you take your vows, you I can't speak for everybody, but I can say that you take them seriously. Because I mean, we have our ups, we have our downs. And sometimes our ups are really, really high, and sometimes our downs are really, really low. But we have to try to figure out a way to get back to the middle when we're really, really low. You know, you want to stay on the high, but we can't always stay on the high. That's right. But we have to figure out a way to make it back to the middle because we do honor the vows that we took before the Lord. We do honor that because we took it seriously. Because when I said I do to him, I said I do to him for the rest of my life because that's what I saw. I saw that I would be with him for the rest of my life. I mean, it was something that I actually prayed about. You know, I didn't just walk into it. And I'm sure I don't like I don't know what your relationship is when it comes to, you know, to the Lord or what your religion is. I don't know any of that. I, you know, I would assume you listen in that you do know who the Lord is, but um, you know, we we t take our vows seriously. But at the same time, at the same time, you know, no one is no one wants to be miserable and we don't mis want misery to drive us to a point of um depression or to do things that that are very much outside of our character and very much outside of how we should live our lives. So it's very important that we deal with the emotions and the situations that we go through. I am always for, you know, trying to, you know, encourage and say, you know, yes, um, you know, stick in there, but there's some things you gotta do in order to stick in there. Now, it's a whole nother story if you're talking about, because it's a whole nother story if you come and you're talking about, you know, it's it's constant um abuse, whether it's um abuse of your love in your heart or abuse um verbally or that's a whole nother story. That's a whole nother story because it's not of God, you know, that's not of God. So that's something different. But if you can still see that the love and what God gave y'all, the union that God gave y'all, that God still fits in it, if he still fits in that space, I believe that it's salvageable. I do. I truly believe that it's salvageable. But um, but sometimes we have to push, we have to push, we have to press, even in, you know, even in the hard times, you know.

SPEAKER_01 27:58

Yeah, and we have to want to do the work. Yes. If if there's our desire to want to, then I mean it's done already. Right. You have to want to do it. Because if you don't want it, then it's not gonna change on its own. Okay. Free will, honey. If you don't want it, then that's just what it is. You don't want it, you know? But again, Seattle man off the edge now. Um, we pray that something that we have said can help you, um, that has been edifying to you, to help you make the decision that is best for you and for your life. And so we appreciate you.

SPEAKER_02 28:40

We do. And the best of what God has for you. I don't say the best of love. I don't believe in love, but the best of what God has for you. Period. You have people praying for you.

SPEAKER_01 28:52

Yep, stay up. And for the both of you. Yes. Stay encouraged, stay encouraged. All right, y'all. Well, we're moving on down this little train. Get on down. Get on down, get on down the room. All right, y'all. Pressure, honey. Pressure is real. It is. It is real, it is real, it is real. This is our main topic. Y'all know we don't know where we're gonna go, but we're about to go. Pressure. When so when I think about pressure, I think about weight. Like, I think about things that are heavy. I think about sometimes it's things that you don't wanna do. Like, or some, like if you done put stuff off and and somebody and we say somebody, but God applies that pressure to you and tells you, no, you've been putting this out too long. I need you to go on and handle this. I need you to go on and do what I done told you to do. Um, when I think about pressure, sometimes it's you in a pressure cooker. And if you're in a pressure cooker, then it's like, no, God said, I need you to sit here for a while. I need you to stay in this for a little bit because I'm making you, I'm molding you, I'm refining you. I think about the pressure that a diamond endures.

SPEAKER_00 30:21

Oh, that's good.

SPEAKER_01 30:21

Like, you gotta think about those things. That's necessary. That's necessary pressure. That's pressure with a purpose, right? Oh, pressure with a purpose. Coin that's pressure with a purpose. That's good. And so it's not something that's that's hard for you, but it's necessary for you. And so when I I think about different forms of pressure, some sometimes it can you can look at things as far as peer pressure, and that's other people pressuring you to do things outside of what God has told you to do. So that's something on a whole nother level because it's what they want you to do, it's what they see for your life, is what they want to manifest in your life, and it's not what God has called you to or what God is trying to take you to. And so for me, it's different layers, it's different faces of pressure for me. And everything I done talked about, I done been through. Every area of speak on the girl. I have been through it, felt it, in it, sitting in it, looking around, trying to figure out where is the button to turn this thing off. Get this off of me. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I'm suffocating. It's so heavy. It's so hot in here. Yes, that pressure cooker.

SPEAKER_02 31:43

Get me out of here. Get me out of here. Oh my gosh, Jay, Jay, yeah, yeah. That's a that's a lot of layers. That's a lot of layers. Um I know, right? That's a lot of layers. And and you know what? And not only the activity or the nature of the pressure, but the people that it comes from. Like you said, you said sometimes it comes from friends, sometimes it comes from family, you know. And I I believe that sometimes we get ourselves wrapped up in feeling because of the pressure, we get ourselves wrapped up in feeling accountable. That we must do certain things because of the pressure that's around us. But I believe that it's important that we remember that our accountability depends on, it depends on what the instruction is.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:41

I mean, we can't just here's the thing. Here's the thing. A lot of times people feel like you're always obligated to do whatever it is that they need for you to do. And what they don't even realize is that you go out of your way time after time after time to do these things for these people, but they don't realize the burden and the pressure that it puts on you in order for those things to get done. And so we have to be mindful in the stuff that we do and the things that we commit to. Um even based off of um, you know, the surroundings and the influence of people, we still have to be mindful of who we are and what our needs are. We cannot let that pressure steer our peace. Yeah. Come on now. Yeah. I believe that a lot of times, I believe that it's a power that there's still a way to be under pressure, but to still be in peace. I truly believe that there is a way to handle pressure and you still be in peace. It might be a lot that's coming to you because you know, you talk a lot of people, you know, the the people we look at that are strong people, they deal with a lot of things and they handle a whole lot of things, and you can't even tell that they're even going through. Because at some point, in some way, they found to have a little bit of peace to where they didn't crack up. Thank God they didn't crack up. Yeah, yeah. You know, thank God that they didn't crack up. But but I think that the evaluation has to come in as to what the instruction is and is and does it make sense. If God told you to do it, then it makes sense. You know, I'm always throwing in there. Or if it's an instruction that you know that fits your scenario or what you need, then it makes sense. But sometimes I believe that we have ourselves in positions, we put ourselves in positions because of other people.

SPEAKER_01 34:42

That's what so when you say that is exactly what I was thinking about. Sometimes we cause our own pressure. Come on, come on. Now, when you cause pressure upon yourself, that's a whole nother story because you didn't put expectations and stuff on yourself that you didn't even have to put there. And that's like to please all these peas. Yeah, that's just like to please other people. So that's pre that's pressure pleasing. That that that is because it's in it's induced off of you trying to please everybody else around you. And you know that's crazy. You know what's crazy about that?

SPEAKER_02 35:23

What's really crazy that gets me is that you're trying to please people that can never be pleased. No. Because nine times out of 10, that person or whomever it is with that scenario, they probably come to you time after time after time. Over and over and over and over and over again. And you can give them a yes 15 times out of 20. And when you give them another, oh honey. One time, the world is over. The world is over. You've done them wrong, you've never done right to them. Everything they are done with you. But let me tell you something. But sometimes that be the release button right there. Sometimes even the uh pressure cooker got a little release valve. Yeah, that's when the Lord pressed the release. Oh my gosh. Get on out of here. You can do how you get on out of here. You and I think that we that goes back to us overextending ourselves. I feel like it just goes back.

SPEAKER_01 36:17

And I think we need to sit right here too. You trying to please everyone. And when you in that place to where you're trying to, where you're trying to please everyone, you're overextending yourself. You are this is the bad part. You can be in a pressure cooker too. So you in the pressure cooker, you trying to please everybody else, you overextending yourself, and you are still got all these people, all these obligations, all these different things that are tugging on you. And it's like you're trying to fulfill all of this. Where is your peace? Where is where is a place to you say, okay, let me start to minister to all of these areas and make the decision that God has told me to make. Because you have to minister to your pressure sometimes. Say that. If you minister to your pressure, then you're gonna have a roadmap. God gonna navigate you through it. And he's gonna show you what you're supposed to do, how you're supposed to move in those pressure places, right? And then he's gonna escort you to outside of it. Come on, yeah, he's gonna escort you to where you where he needs you to be next. Doesn't mean that it's not gonna be pressure there, but it's gonna, he's gonna escort you so that you're going through and that you're not sitting in. Oh, that's good. It's different when you're going through something, it's different when you're going through a force versus standing and accepting the force. Come on. And all of that on you. Have you ever been to um sometimes I used to have them at the fair, and you get in this what seems to be like a claustrophobic room or something, and as soon as it turns it on, it pulls everybody up against the wall.

SPEAKER_02 38:09

I know what you're talking about. I can't even remember what it is.

SPEAKER_01 38:12

Gravity, something, I don't know, whatever it is. But why would you do that to yourself?

SPEAKER_02 38:18

Wow. Wow. That's an eye-opener. That is an eye-opener, just like you said, the places that you need to be in, because those are the places that God will take you through and is not meant for you to stay there. Not like that ride. Not like that ride because the ride is control controlling everything. Yes, it's controlling everything. It has, you know, it has the ability to manipulate because of all the force. Thank you, God. So we keep it. Gravity pool. Gravity. That's it. Gravity pool. That's it. That's it. But we have to be careful and be mindful that we don't allow the outside the outside sources to be the gravity. Yeah. To create the forces, to create the disturbance. And sometimes the pressure comes from the disturbance. But then sometimes God will put you in a place to where He wants you to sit in the marinade for a little bit. But there's a meaning behind it. That pressure comes. It's a meaning behind that. But while you're in a place like that, that is a place where God is ministering to you directly. He is speaking to you. You are reading. You are praying. He's talking to you. You're hearing his voice. And if you don't recognize his voice, he's teaching you to hear his voice, those are the places of pressure. That's a good place. Yeah, that's uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_01 39:38

That's your place of refinement. Yeah, it feels uncomfortable. That's your place of refinement because when God gets through with you, you'll be the diamond. Come on and say it. And you'll be shining. Come on, that and say it. Like, and there's not one diamond that's the same. Come on. Not one.

SPEAKER_02 39:52

That's good.

SPEAKER_01 39:53

And if there's not one diamond that's the same, then when you go through your refinement, when you come out, you are uniquely who God has made you to be. You are authentically who God has refined you to be. And so whatever is to come from that point forward, you have been equipped. You have been polished to be able to withstand whatever it is. You have been, God is giving you all the tools that you'll need to navigate through it until your season of refinement comes again. That's right. Because there's much, I believe that God gives us multiple seasons of refinement. It's all like the seasons. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:38

It's a cycle. It's a cycle. Because if we don't go through cycles, we will never grow. We won't grow. We will stay in the same place. We will stay stagnant. You'll still have the same word. Be like, oh Lord, they ain't they ain't learned nothing yet, nothing else yet. They're still talking about that same thing. Lord have mercy. They're still preaching that same word. Let me tell you something about the word. The word is forever changing. And the reason I say it's forever changing is because the word is for what it's for in that moment. In that moment.

SPEAKER_01 41:04

Yes, because baby, I look, I'm talking if you 70, you are still in a place to be refined.

SPEAKER_00 41:12

Say it.

SPEAKER_01 41:13

And made new and to be and to be equipped to carry out those next 10, 20, 30 years, whatever God has graced you with. And you still want to use you. You still in your right mind. You still moving, you still doing. And as long as you are here, it is our commission, our goal to carry out the assignment of life. That's right. It is our goal. God is the one that says, okay, it's done. Come on.

SPEAKER_02 41:43

Say that.

SPEAKER_01 41:43

He the one. He the one that gives you that expiration date or that press that release button to say, come on, you done. You ain't got to go through this no more. I got you. Come on home. But we have to understand that when you talked about peace, we are also responsible for our peace. Yes, we are. And if you have a responsibility for your place of peace, that means you call on it whenever you need it. That's right. That means that that means that you activate it. That's right. Whenever it's needed to be activated, because I believe that if you, we are not separate from our Father. That's right. And so if God lives in us, you're not in him. Yeah. If God, God lives in and through us. And if you have committed your life and said that you look, Lord, come come in me, use me, do what you do, then that activates. Whatever you need will activate. All you got to do is call on him. Whatever you need. So your peace is going to activate, your protection is going to activate. Everything that you need at any point in time is going to activate because God lives in you and He operates through you. So you have to understand what you have already been equipped with. You have to understand what your armor has already come with. Ooh, that's good. Okay?

SPEAKER_00 43:07

That's good.

SPEAKER_01 43:07

Because you think about your when when soldiers and stuff get their uniform and their equipment and stuff, they're gonna give you the basics of what you need. That's right. But now you can earn other stuff. That's right. Come on. You can you can earn, you can move up and rank, you can do all these things. Right. It's no different in God. Oh, that's good. It's no different. He gives you everything that you need. The word is your sword, it's your weapon. It's also your instruction book, your guide. Yes. It helps you, it's your map. It helps you to navigate. Like God equips us with everything that we need. So when you get in the gravity pool, when you get in the pressure cooker, when you get in the pressure points, you got everything that you need. To navigate through it and you pull from your toolbox to help you. That's good. That's good. Somebody didn't know that.

SPEAKER_02 44:11

You own it.

SPEAKER_01 44:11

Girl, I had to learn it. Somebody didn't know that. You pull from what God has already put in you.

SPEAKER_02 44:20

That's so awesome. That's a word right there. That's a word. That's how you get through. That's how you get through. You utilize the tools. You have a lot of times while we're in the pressure, while we're we're in the cooker, okay? So while God is molding us and he's making us, during those times while while he's molding us and he's making us, that is like you said, is when he's equipping us. And while he's equipping us, he's teaching us. A lot of times we feel like we're lacking what we need, and we're not lacking what we need because God has already given it to us. Sometimes we'd be looking for um for man to explain to us or to give us whatever it is that we need, and it's not, it does not come from man. No, God says, his word says that the Holy Spirit would teach us. And he gives us a gift, he's gonna teach us how to use that gift. He can't teach you how to use that gift because the gift came from God. It was made by him, it came from God, it was created by him. So he has the instruction booklet for it. But man does not have that. So in our molding and our making, and he's preparing us, and while he's preparing us, and like you said, it's that we're supposed to minister to those situations. Yeah. But even when we minister to those situations with the tools that he gave us from the toolbox that you told us about, while we're ministering to those situations, it's growing us. It's growing us and it's fixing us and making us into who it is that he's really called us to be. Because truly that pressure, if we do it the right way, it's meant that we can it can we can utilize it so that we can help somebody else. Because everything that we go through is for somebody else. It's it's a it's for a testify a testimony, it's for us to tell somebody else that hey, you can make it through.

SPEAKER_01 46:02

Yeah, you gotta teach. You gotta teach. You can't go through the things that God allows you to go through and don't become a teacher. Say it. God at his core is a teacher. Say it. And in all you're getting get understanding. You better say it. And so if that's the case, then everything that you go through, everything that you experience, make sure you take them notes. Because you got to teach someone, you got to help someone, you've got to pull someone. It's not a good one. You gotta reach back. You gotta reach back. And what and you're gonna know because the same thing is gonna meet you right in your face, and you're gonna be like, Lord, just the Lord just brought me through this child. And you should be able to do that. Let me tell you, let me tell you what happened. Let me tell you how he matured me. That's right. Let me tell you how he allowed me to be standing here right now talking to you. Let me let you know how I got through it. Because that was the toughest time of my life, and I didn't think I was gonna make it. That was the darkest time of my life, and I didn't think I was gonna make it. Oh God, that was my wilderness, and I was wandering there. I stayed there too long. Sometimes we can stay too long. Say that. Like, we can go through some hard times, whether it be grief and the Lord ain't even holding us there. No, we waited, he waited, he got his hand out. Like, just take my hand and come out. Like, what are you doing? The door is wide open. Just walk through the door. What are you what you looking for? And you steady looking for the door, the door wide open in your face. Girl. Walk through the door.

SPEAKER_02 47:37

Walk through the door. Walk through the door. Why do you do why do you desire to stay in the mess? Why do you desire to stay in that place? Girl, how about that? Especially when he's trying to free you. I mean, just like he freed the children of Israel, it was his desire that they be free. But because they were so bound in their mind, they wanted to stay in it. We can't stay there. We have to take what he gives us and grow from it.

SPEAKER_01 47:59

They didn't even see that the Lord let the light on. They didn't even see the porch light. They didn't even know that it's right, that right there. Just go right there. So they keep stalling out with the light on, the porch light on. Just still wonder.

SPEAKER_02 48:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:18

In a circle, going in a circle. You didn't realize by year 30. Right. That you seen the same thing. By year. By 10, by 2, that we had seen the same thing. And so you're gonna stay an extra 37, 8 years doing the same thing. Doing the same thing. I remember my grandma used to say, misery loves company. It does.

SPEAKER_02 48:46

That's true.

SPEAKER_01 48:47

Some people want to be in bad places. That's true. So that they can be an Eeyore.

SPEAKER_02 48:53

That's it. That's so good.

SPEAKER_01 48:54

So when you say, how you doing? Oh, that's good. When they say how you doing, oh Yeah. It's something always wrong. Even though I got over it ten years ago. I you know, when I was such a, I you know, I'm still feeling the aftershocks and the effects of that earthquake. Baby, what? Stop. Get up. Okay? Get out. Stop. Like sometimes you got you gotta have that person that loves you so much to tell you, get out. Get out. I'ma snatch you out. Them friends that you don't want to come out of the house, bad breakup. Right. And you don't want to come out of the house. Let it go. I'm about to bathe you and put you some clothes on so we can get out of here. You gotta get out of the house. This is hard to looking at the walls. What you looking at the walls where they the same color? Get out of here. No, that's real. That is real. That is real. That is real. So the essence of that for me is to understand the pressure that is there for purpose. Understand the pressure that you cause, that you cause upon yourself because you overseen yourself and you accept those things or those responsibilities and those assignments that God didn't assign for you. That's right. You just want to take it because you wanted to be that person's hero for whatever reason. Also understand the peer pressure, and that's just what it is. It's coming from every last one of these other people outside of you. Right? That's putting pressure on you. I don't even understand that. How am I gonna allow you that you ain't even in this with me? And I'm gonna allow you to put pressure on me.

SPEAKER_00 50:45

Right.

SPEAKER_01 50:45

I'm gonna allow you to add to what already I'm I got going on. Right. Baby, bye. Okay. Turn around and walk away and go on about your business. Honey, y'all about to say, because we're gonna start um giving y'all a video soon. Cause I'm like, what the world? I'm not getting ready to accept all your mess, my mess, the mess that you feel like I supposed to take that I never even knew that I needed. Right. Or you thought I needed it. I don't need this. Keep your own stuff.

SPEAKER_02 51:18

Your mess is not my mess.

SPEAKER_01 51:20

No.

SPEAKER_02 51:21

And I do not invite it in. No. Check that at the door. If you would like to come in and be a part of my space, take your shoes off. Yes. Don't bring that in. Don't bring it in. Don't bring that outside. Don't bring that outside mess and residue in here in my clean sanctuary.

SPEAKER_01 51:41

Come on.

SPEAKER_02 51:42

Don't bring it in.

SPEAKER_01 51:43

Don't give me no projections. No. Keep all your projections over there. That projections that you're trying to project over here to me because you got all this mess going on in your life is your pressure. Right. That you're trying to turn into projections over here to me.

SPEAKER_02 51:59

And I hope that you're trying to do something with it. But just look, you know, somebody used to say something all the time to me. They used to talk about how people will try to use you as a trash can. They will know their trash. They come to you just so they can talk to you about their mess and their feels and just fill you up and can like and contaminate you with their trash. No, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 52:23

My hand up, my name is not Oscar. That part. I am not, I do not take your garden.

SPEAKER_02 52:29

I'm not living with that.

SPEAKER_01 52:30

I'm not living with it. I'm not eating it. I'm not doing none of that. I don't want it. Keep your mess, because I don't have time for it.

SPEAKER_02 52:38

Period.

SPEAKER_01 52:39

Period. God did that? Because I should, we sure didn't. We hadn't done a food for thought in a while. We haven't. We haven't. You got one? So let me think. So my food for thought today is, and it's probably gonna kind of correlate. But my food for thought is take ownership of those things that you own.

SPEAKER_03 53:14

Oh, that's good.

SPEAKER_01 53:16

That's it. Don't take ownership of nothing else but what you own and what's yours. Take ownership of what you own. What everybody else got is theirs. Right. It ain't yours and stop trying to take it. Sick and tired of it. Inserting yourself in stuff that ain't got nothing to do with you.

SPEAKER_02 53:40

Just mind your business.

SPEAKER_01 53:41

Mind your business. Take ownership of your own stuff. And then when you didn't insert it yourself, don't come and try to tell me about it. I don't want to know. You would have took on somebody else's stuff. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's a food and it's a thought.

SPEAKER_02 54:03

I guess I'm gonna say this girl is a trip. I guess um, I guess I'm gonna say this. God has been doing a a thing in me and dealing with me about different things when it comes to life and how we live life, and the things that are that are important or that should be important, and the things that aren't. And in doing that, what he is making sure that I understand is that this life is not about the things. No, it's not about the house that you have, it's not about the car that you drive, it's not about how much money that you have. But what it is about is where is your soul going to end up being? And where and what it is also about is how much love and attention do you put into those things that you do not put or that you do not direct that same amount of love and attention into the Lord. Actually, it should be more. And it's easy to depict those things because if you have a hard time letting go of those things, then those things have become your God. They become your idol. And so God has like really been dealing with me about not being caught up in the things, but being caught up in being caught up in the assignment and being caught up in doing what it is that that he calls me to do and in his instruction. So so what I'm saying is, what I'm saying is as easy as God gives you something, he can take it from you. He sure can. If your focus does not remain on him and you get all in your feelings about whatever. And the reason I say whatever is because that's exactly what all this the stuff is. If it's not God, then it's just whatever. Whatever. That's the name for it. It's just whatever. That's what I'm gonna start calling it. It's just whatever. That's whatever. It's just whatever. And that stuff has no value or no meaning that could even hold a candle to who our our God is and who and how we should serve him and the time that he that he um he deserves, you know, and what's required out of us when it comes to our service. So we get so caught up in belie in the things of life and and us just doing what we want to do. Sometimes you can't just do what you want to do. No, sometimes you need to do what God is telling you to do, and sometimes that's what's gonna require that you sacrifice something that you like, you love, or want to do or want to put first priority, you have to sacrifice it in order to put God first. God will test you to see if you put him first. And if you don't pass that test, don't think that you might not find yourself in a spot or in a place to where everything that you had, that you lose it. As easy as he gives it to you, he can take it right from right from you. As easy as he breathes breath in your body, he can take your life right from you. So what we gotta make sure is that in any of those scenarios and situations, that our hearts are right and that our minds are right, and that the things that we do, the choices that we make, that they're right. So I'll say that that's my my little fruit for thought.

SPEAKER_01 57:10

Period. Mic job. Can y'all hear this? It ain't a mic, but period, Tino. That girl is crazy. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Yes. And it starts my description. Starts with your yes to God. Yes. Let your yes be yes and let you carry that thing through. And if you don't carry it through, then you're gonna know what those consequences are, and you're gonna feel them. And you and you're gonna move them on this side and on the other side. Uh-huh. And you're gonna remember to not do that thing again. That's right. Alright, just because we love y'all and from this continent to that continent, from this country to that country, from that city to that city. We love all of y'all. We appreciate y'all. And we hope y'all have an amazing week. And we're gonna see y'all next week while we're gonna live alive and love.

SPEAKER_02 58:04

Peace. We out, y'all.