The Impact Of Smut Novels | Ep.18

This week we break down why the new Wuthering Heights is amazing early on, then derails, and how a wave of smut-first storytelling rewrites expectations of love, agency, and meaning. We trace the cultural costs of eroticised romance and argue for discernment over dopamine.

• praise for performances, music, and atmosphere in "Wuthering Heights"
• where the adaptation parts ways with Brontë’s themes
• why eroticism replaces complexity in modern romance
• how smut novels shape attachment, desire, and standards
• gendered patterns in how media influences behaviour
• practical ways to audit your media diet and reset expectations

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Transcript

Setting The Stage

SPEAKER_00 0:00

And we're back for episode 18 of the Ministry Man podcast. I'm your host, Isaac Anthony Turner. And I have an issue that I need to speak about. So I went and seen the Wuthering Heights movie. And if you've listened to this podcast before, you would know that I read the book recently, which was it was kind of cool because this is the first time that I've ever read a book and then watched the movie. I'm not a big reader, or at least I never was. I'm getting into it a lot now. And I was kind of looking forward to this. I'm like, oh, cool. I can be one of those people that's like, yeah, well, the book's actually better. And yeah, they left this out of the movie when the book actually does it this way. So I get to be one of those people now. So I've been really looking forward to to doing that. And um and being really pretentious to people that haven't read the book. Um it's really funny as well, because I didn't read, I didn't know that there was gonna be a movie coming out of it. Um, I wasn't even really aware of how much of a classic it was when I read it. Um but anyway, I'm gonna just talk about a few things in it because I'm bothered. I'm bothered by it for a number of different reasons, and not for reasons that maybe some people are, maybe a lot of people are bothered for the same reasons. But it's important to note this the movie itself is you know, the person that wrote it and directed it, they said, this is not gonna be like the book, they said. So that they've come out immediately and said that. And you can tell that that's the case because the movie title, it's in quotation marks. Like when it when the movie comes up and it says Wuthering Heights, it's in quotation marks. All the advertising, all the posters, it's all like in the quotation marks. So it's it is telling you from the outset that it's inspired by Wuthering Heights, let's say. And so I'll talk about what was good and then I'll talk about the issue that I have. So, first of all, the things that I thought might have been bad about it weren't bad. The the acting, for example, a lot of people were saying, you know, Margot Robbie has too much of a modern face. I believe it's called iPhone face, where it's just a face that's built for an iPhone, or maybe just in the generation that iPhones exist, let's let's say that. Because the movie's obviously set in like the 1800s, so there's a certain look, and Margot Robbie just has a very modern look. And so people were like, oh, it's gonna like it's not gonna be as immersive because she doesn't really look the part, and she's actually much older than the character of Catherine that she plays. So that turned out to not be so much of a problem. Um, she did a good job. Jacob Ballordi did a great job. I mean, he was also a character that was not so much as the book described. The book described some like dark-skinned boy that might have been like of gypsy descent, like the Romney gypsy people or something, dark and rugged. And so people are upset that they whitewashed the film, but it's like, okay. I mean, they put in like multiple Asian characters, so I mean, no one was really, no one was cast as they should have been, really. But as its own take, you're like, okay, whatever. Like, you know, they said it wasn't gonna be like that. So who cares? The music was probably my favorite part. The music was insanely good. So good that I've literally been playing, I think there's like three songs, three or four songs from the soundtrack by Charlie XCX, I think it is. I've just been playing it on repeat. Like I'm I'm literally been playing on repeat all day. Uh, I was at the gym and I just put those same four songs on for like an hour just on repeat. So the music was insanely good. One of the better scores of a movie that I've seen. And like the whole setup, like the scenery was good. There was a lot of really good things about it. Even the the first like 30% of the movie, I was like, this is great. I was loving it. They were they were wrapping me in. I was really getting roped in. I was believing everything that was happening, it was awesome. Which brings me to the issue that I have. The bad things about the movie is it was so off base off of the book that it might as well have just been a completely different movie. If you change the names of the characters, I don't think people would have known that this was going to be a Wuthering Heights movie. If you if you change the names of the locations and the the names of the people, I don't think people would have would have recognized the movie that they were watching if if you'd read the book and you went and saw it. It was it the goal the let's say the book, for example. The book was about, let's say, hurt people, hurt people. It's a good probably way to categorize a lot of what's happening in the book. It's a lot of you know brokenness, there's some themes of domestic abuse, there's just really bad relational dynamics, there's a lot of hatred, a lot of bitterness, betrayal, unmet expectations. Like there's all the this stuff that's happening, right? So many different themes throughout the the book. The goal of the movie 100% the goal of the movie was smut. That was it. That was what the the essence of the whole movie was. Let's make a smut film. It's it's just it's 50 shades in the 1800s. That's what it was. I'm so confident to say that the goal was smart for a few different reasons because it it was clearly, first of all, it was clearly just made for smart lovers. It wasn't even remotely touching on the the themes that the book was. There was just like, we're not doing those. We're gonna do our own thing. And you're like, okay, so you know, you you you allow some liberties, but my expectation was like, oh yeah, maybe they'll just maybe they'll just make the two main characters have a bit more intimacy. The fact that they made there's two characters, Joseph and Zilla, that they made them these depraved sex fiends, just out of nowhere, completely out of nowhere. That can only come from a depraved mind. And like for you to come to that conclusion, yeah, let's make Joseph and Zilla have this weird, depraved, like, scene where Catherine is watching. And it's just like, so that's really weird. What they did with the character of Isabella was diabolical, for one. Like, that was just like I don't understand how you can put that in the movie and be like, yeah, like this is just adding to the theme of the movie. Like it was disgusting, is what it was. And Isabella was such a good character in the book that they but they abandoned any kind of personality that she might have had in the book. And they just created like a joke character, basically. Like they're just pretty much just like an idiot. An idiot character that uh welcomed abuse rather than the story who she was basically tricked and then wanted out rather than being complicit in some weird depravity that oh, it's just so weird. What was what was strange as well? So I went to the watch the movie knowing nothing about it at all. After watching a certain amount of the movie, I knew for a fact, I was like, this movie was written and directed by a female, and this is why, this is why I think that. And it and it was, by the way, a checked after. Because no man would ever think 20 minutes of uninterrupted sex in cinema would be even remotely appropriate for any story. There was so much eroticism, and by the way, there's none in the book at all. There's no eroticism in the book at all. And there was so much in this movie, it was littered with eroticism, and you're just like, this is just like a 50 shades thing, and obviously, 50 shades isn't surprising to know that that's also written by a female. It's like So the topic that I'm gonna talk about today is smart novels, because it's because of smart novels that this movie was even made. Like this movie should never have been made, and it's so annoying because it was so good. The first 30% of the movie was so good, and the rest was just like, why am I watching this? This is literally a porno. It's just like you've gone as far as you can without it it being put on websites for people to watch, and it probably will be, to be honest. So that was the most annoying thing because there were so many really good things: great acting, great music, great scenery, the a great setup, even the characters when they were kids, amazing. Those were great actors. That was portrayed really well. They seemed like they were really nailing the character like really well. Like both um Catherine and Heathcliff when they were young nailed it. I'm like, yeah, this is sick. And then, like, again, they said that it wasn't gonna be like it, but you're like, well, if it's that far different, then don't even do it at all. Like, just make another movie. That like you've just taken this the character names and the places, and you've just made a whole different story. Like, this is not this is not Wuthering Heights, even remotely. So, like the only thing that's similar is the fact that they have the same names and they live at the same place and it's set at the same time. Like, that's it. Like, as far as storyline, that's not really it. Maybe there's like there's one, I mean, I'll just have a spoiler alert for a second, just for like 30 seconds. So skip forward. The fact that Catherine dies at the end, that was it. So that was the same. Heathcliff runs off or whatever and he comes back later. That was the same. But other than that, it's not even the same story, even remotely. So, like you can't take that many liberties and that much like creative nuance, or if you ever want to call it that, and then still use the same name. Like, just at this rate, just you can't even use the same name. And like, I know, like one of the things is well, she said it wasn't gonna be the same. Yeah, well, people are gonna think that it is even like a little bit though, people are gonna think it's a little bit the same because it's named the same, and it does have the same character names. So, anyway, I'm talking about smart novels. Now, in this episode, it's it's gonna sound like it's a focus on women, not all women, obviously, just the subsect of women that read smart novels. The reason that it's gonna it might sound like it's leaning towards women is just purely for the fact that men just aren't reading smart novels, the vo the vast majority of men aren't reading smart novels. I'm not picking on women. Obviously, men have plenty of issues, but like there's an issue with always need like if you ever if you ever talk about issue with women, you always have to say, Oh, yeah, well, men are bad too. Men do this. What about men doing that? He's like, Yeah, we know. I know. Hey, listen, ladies, I know, right? Ment, they are just I hate they're pigs, right? Am I right, ladies? Um, I hate them just as much as you do. Uh and trust me, I want to be, you know, making sure that they are getting scolded every second of the day. Forever and ever. And um, and I will, and I will, just in another episode. Um, but we know, we already know that men are bad. And uh I know, everyone knows, men have issues with watching porn, men have issues commit more violent crime and do this and do that, and men, you know, the devil. Um, this just particular episode is just directly, it's it's got a what a particular topic because that particular topic has frustrated me because of this movie, all right? That's why. But we do know. We know about all the things where they go, not all men, but always a man. And you're like, what are you what why are you even saying that for one? Because like oftentimes when they say it, it's true, right? So it's like, I don't know. Let's like a man is abusive to a woman or something, and it's like, not all men, but always men. Okay, like, yeah, okay, then what are you what do you want to do about that? Because like by saying that, you kind of are saying that it is men that suck. You go, not all men, like to say, you know, not all men are bad, but always a man, is you would then by saying that you are saying that men are bad. So what's the point of saying it? Like, why are you like what is the outcome that you're wanting? So say, yeah, not all uh not all men, but always a man. Then, like, what are you wanting the response? Like, people like you know, a thousand people like the comment. Like, what are you wanting everyone to know? That is like let me explain something. So, men and women are different, different means that they have different strengths, and that also means that they have different weaknesses. The best things about a gender include in the same package the worst things about a gender. The reason why men are able to run into burning buildings to save people is the same strength that they can use to hurt someone, right? So let's let's okay, I'll give an example of a few things. This might maybe bring the point home a little bit. In 2002, there was a man named Brian Keith Banks, 16-year-old football prodigy. He was bound for university with dreams of going pro one day. Uh, he was accused by his classmate Juanita Gibson of kidnapping and uh abusing in an unconsensual, forceful way. If I'm using that language just so it's not as hard to hear. Uh now there was no evidence and there was no witnesses, and he was arrested still and was facing 41 years in prison. And in 2002, and probably even still today, the the idea that this kid was gonna just walk away from this after this accusation of just a he said, she said, was almost zero chance. Like this this kid was possibly looking at losing his entire life. So he took a plea deal, which was five years, but in order to take a plea deal, you have to plead guilty. And so he he took a five-year prison sentence, completed it, his name was ruined, his reputation was ruined, he was deemed as a sex offender through everyone in his community, whatever. Ten years go by, and Juanita gets caught on a hidden camera confessing that she made it all up. It's a complete lie. Uh that lie, by the way, it did exonerate him and it went public, and she refused to testify publicly herself, though, because she might lose the$1.5 million that she received from the school district. And after that, nothing really happened. She wasn't charged, she wasn't, didn't serve any prison sentence. Um, she just kind of walked away as if nothing happened. That's that's a sad story. Here's another one. September 2005, William McCaffrey, construction worker from the Bronx in New York, accused by Björni Paguero Gonzalez of, again, forced unconsensual assault. No physical evidence, no DNA test results came back conclusive for him. Uh, nevertheless, was convicted of 20 years in prison because of the story that she gave in the courtroom was very emotional and moving. And so he was sentenced, and he served four years in prison before guilt got the best of old Bjornny, and she confessed to a Catholic priest who, by obligation, uh reported it, and that led to uh his ultimate release. And she did end up serving, well, got a sentence to serve between one to three years, so still much less than his conviction for 20 years and still serve four. So, like, there's two stories. There's so many of those. I'm willing to bet that no one listening to this has heard of either of those two stories. There are so many stories like that. So you could say in the same thing of these false accusations, not all women, but always a woman. But like, how unproductive is that? Like, what's the point of even saying that? Like, what there is no point in saying that. It's just trying to trash women for no reason. It's just really unproductive. And there are there are so many stories like that that you could bash women for based on the types of things they do. So you don't ever hear a story of a male teacher and a female student getting together, but there seems to be every other week a female teacher and a male student. And if the roles were reversed in that, they'd throw the men in jail and lock away, throw away the key. Like the fact that it's a female, no one really seems to care. So there's a huge, huge double standard there. But there are so many things like that. Like we talk about, you know, a problem with with women. It's always, well, yeah, men, but men, they do this, blah, blah, blah. Like imagine if if we started talking about the let's say the issues with with men abusing women, let's say, and then we go, oh yeah, well, women are always falsely accusing, blah, blah, blah. You know, like you just you just don't do it. Like, we should be allowed to talk about a topic that, like a specific problem with a gender, without being like, well, you know, this other gender has got a problem, too. We know, we know. Both aren't perfect, and uh, and both are perfect, just different people, you know, whatever. But we just understand that when women commit violent crime, it just looks a little bit different. Women are more indirect in their approach, men are more direct. So women are more indirect when it comes to everything, like whether it be violence or romance as well. I know that there's the the story of the you know, the women that would back probably in the 1800s, they'd walk along and they would drop their handkerchief in front of the man, and the man he would pick it up and return it to her. So she's dropping it in front of the person that she likes, which is an indirect approach because there's room there for denial, first of all, so that you're you're keeping your reputation safe, for one. Uh, and you know, if the man doesn't pick it up, it's like, oh, I just accidentally dropped it. Like there's plenty of room to deny any kind of approach there. Whereas men are very direct, they walk up and go, hey, you've dropped this, and they they go straight on if they're interested. Uh a man will will often be the the initiator, at least. In uh, well, typically these days, I think that something around 45% of men between 18 to 25 or something have never asked a girl out face to face. Um yeah, which is a problem, I guess. But I mean that's a we can tackle that another day. And I probably will soon, actually. That was one of the things I was possibly going to talk about was um And probably would have if I hadn't have seen this movie. But yeah, like women, they they, if they're going to make an approach of a man, they're less likely to just walk up to him and say something, even though some do. A more common approach is that they'll put themselves in the line of sight of the man. They'll make themselves look beautiful and they'll go to the environments that the man is in in the hopes that he would notice her and then approach her. It's the story of Ruth and Boaz in the Bible. Ruth um puts herself in the the sight of Boaz so that he would notice her. I might break that down one day as well because I I love the book of Ruth. It's really cool. Um and it's a it's a it's a lot of very interesting gender associations you can make with um with both how Boaz acts and how Ruth acts. It's really cool. Maybe I'll do that next week. Um so anyway, with violence, like men will just physically fight. Like that, that's as direct as you can get. They'll just fight it out. Women would would be more likely to engage in reputation savaging. So um they would just try to go to other people to say things and then hopefully keep themselves out of the line of fire because they're just going around dropping stuff, dropping hints. They might even do that indirectly as well. Like they might not be so bold as to say that, you know, this person did this uh and try and ruin their reputation. They might say something like, Oh, you know, um, I'm really worried about Stacy with uh with all the guys that she's been going home with recently. Like, I'm I'm just really concerned with her safety. We don't know much about these guys, and you know, it's just something she just keeps doing all the time now. I'm just really worried. So she's like, she's just saying that Stacy gets around. Like that's all she's really wanting. She's not worried at all. Uh, but that's just her way of being like, oh, you know, oh, I only said because I was concerned. Like, there's so much room for uh uh denial of any kind of backbiting and reputation savaging. So but all that to say that both genders are very gender, they have very gender-specific issues and problems that the other one doesn't have. And there's going to be certain things that each gender are susceptible to or prone to that the other one isn't going to isn't going to have those same problems. Uh, and we shouldn't judge or look down or blame the entire gender for those gender-specific issues because both genders have gender-specific issues. Uh, and and it's just unproductive and it's hypocritical in a different type of way. Uh, it's it's the same as looking at, you know, a generation a thousand years ago and judging them for the way that they behaved, being like, oh, I would never do that. And it's like, well, you probably would have, though, if you would, if you lived in that time. Like you can't sit on your high horse when you don't you haven't grown up in that environment. In the same way, you can't go, oh, like I wouldn't say, you know, oh, if I was a girl, I'd never do that. Uh, you know, that those sorts of issues, or a girl shouldn't say, if I was a guy, I would never behave like that. It's like you actually don't know whether you would or not. So anyway, so smart novels is what I want to sort of narrow in on for just a little bit. Um, and it just so happens to fall into the category of uh an issue that women are more prone to. Um, I mean, I've mentioned before the top three novels sold between 2010 and 2020 of all all of that whole decade was the three 50 Shades of Grey books. Like, if that that's not saying something, no dudes were buying that. Like the top three, it won first, second, and third in a whole decade. That blows my mind, man. That like they they are just the epitome of smut novels and probably kick-started the whole smut novel industry, I guess. They were just so popular. Um, and obviously, with um that being the case, there's a bit there's been a massive rise in smut novels as well. Like, I can't remember really hearing of any prior to the Fifty Shades of Grey stuff. Not that I probably would have paid much attention, but it just seems that it's just gotten completely out of hand. Like it's just a really big thing now, and it's not socially unacceptable either. That's the thing. Like, you compare maybe the the rise in smart novels to the rise in boys looking at pornography, and you can kind of draw some comparisons there. The issue is we've seen the problems with boys and men looking at porn and what it does. It creates, you know, these unrealistic expectations, it uh lowers testosterone, it increases depression, it increases shame, it lowers self-esteem. Like there's all these things that we know now because it's been around for a little while and we've done studies and we've done tests. It's also quite shameful publicly. People don't talk about it if they if they use it. Uh it's broken up a lot of relationships and marriages and um not all. There's some couples that I know that don't care if their partner watches porn, whatever, each their own, I suppose. If you don't care, you don't care. But nonetheless, the the issues that have risen from it are pretty well established now. Like we know that it's not good. So the thing we don't know is what is happening with smart novels and women, or at least we don't know through studies, but we are beginning to see issues arise. So let's say the smart novel stuff. That's a new character that's entered the room. It's still at a point now where there isn't really much shame behind it. And like you can't really say, like anyone that likes it, you cannot tell them otherwise. I've heard of people speaking about this online and just getting inundated with just like hate comments and criticism. And like it's I guess it's the same. Like, whenever I tell dudes they shouldn't watch porn, they literally hate hate it. And I've had a bunch of guys just like unfollow me off Instagram because I've posted about it because you can see like straight away, you post something and then your follower count goes down. Like it's like, whatever, man. Like, you don't want to be told that watching porn is bad, like, grow up, dude. There's certain things where it's just like just like do what you want, but you but also you can't escape the fact of reality, of like what it what it is in reality. So as depraved as it is to watch explicit visual content, it is just as it is just as depraved to read uh explicit content. The uh a very interesting statistic that I found out today was that the average age that a a boy first discovers porn is the same age, average age that a girl discovers smut. That's wild because it's the like around the age of 12 for one, so it's super young, which is nuts. So that's concerning. In addition to that, porn use in women has gone up by about 700%, and the average age now of women being exposed to explicit visual content is 13, just one year later, after after they've discovered smart. I don't think that's a coincidence. Where we're priming the youth to be more depraved sexually. Because, as anyone would know, this has been a well-established fact as well, is that whatever excites you or or the novelty of whatever it is that you watch or read, that only increases with time because you build up a tolerance to whatever it is that you've watched or read. And so when you start really young, by the time you're, let's say, in your late 20s, early 30s, if you haven't gotten it under control or just gotten rid of it as you should, you're going to be watching or reading the most disturbing things. There are some Reddit threads out there that the requests that people have. I saw this girl posting like all these questions of some of the most depraved questions that they were looking for. I'm looking for a book that touches on these subjects, and it's literally just abuse. It's just like, what? And I'm like, and I'm not even talking just like regular uh abuse. I'm talking about like monsters and stuff, like weird stuff, mythical creatures and stuff. Things that I wouldn't even say. I actually was going to mention some of the, like, I won't even say the title of some of the books. And I'm talking about bestsellers too. I'm not just talking about some random niche. There was one that I saw was a bestseller, and I can't even tell you what it is because it's weird to say. I don't even want to say it. Like, that's how sick some of these books are. Dude, it's just nuts, man. There's an epidemic. And like, and they'll they'll say something like, you know, some of the replies that some other people that have spoken about this have had have been something along the lines of, oh, it's just an escape, you know, just to see what like the perfect man would be like. And it's like, okay, we want to talk about unrealistic expectations with what guys see. Dude, like, what about that? Like, it's bad enough. The little girls get primed for literal prince charming, from when they're like old enough to even understand what a movie is. They're watching things. It's like, yeah, one day the perfect guy ever, a prince, is gonna come and rescue you from whatever bad situation that you're in. Like, that is literally every child movie for girls. Every like Disney princess is like this, this happily ever after. The the good guy comes in and sweeps her off her feet and saves her, saves her from the bad people, is like, man, this is just not real. Even the even just like a regular movie today, most romance movies, it's the same kind of thing. It's just priming the mind to be like, yeah, like the like this is the theme of a lot of movies now. Is that whatever the girl's doing, if the guy doesn't support her 100%, like literally just like bend over backwards, support everything that she does, then he's like not good enough. So he has to like drop his whole life and everything he's doing in order to support, and she'll be like, but like I want to go overseas and travel, and he's like, Yeah, but we're like we live here and like we can't just do that. He's like trying to be reasonable, and it's like, no, I mean, like, there's someone mentioned this the other day as well. It was like there's there's a big trend of girls leaving like great stable guys because they were just kind of too secure, and leaving him for like this nobody guy. Like, you look at the notebook, and like Noah in the notebook is just like a bum. He doesn't really have anything going for him. And the guy like didn't do anything wrong. He had like a good job and they had a good house, and it was just like the perfect setup, he's really like really doing well. She was like, Nah, I want this guy, like that I knew when we were like 16. It's like, oh there's a few other examples of movies like that, but it's just like what is happening, man? Like, you have to understand how influential these movies are. Like, we're human beings, and human beings are susceptible to manipulation and propaganda. We just are. I am, you are, everyone is. You can't just not be because you don't want to be. You just are. One example would be like if you're walking along, like you go for a walk with a girl, right? Just see what happens when a puppy walks by. Like her entire body and brain chemistry changes in an instant. Just the mere sight of a puppy. It's like they say that you know, don't make certain decisions when you're in certain moods. It's like you can really use that to your advantage if you wanted to. Just bring a little puppy around and then just like give some bad news, and you it's probably gonna go pretty well. But again, like going back to the this whole thing of like priming girls from a young age, the top genre for girls in their youth is like the romanticy genre, like the the fantasy romance kind of stuff. And it's just it's uh it's concerning. It's like if you we're already having, you know, people getting married super late, everyone's waiting for the perfect person, everyone's standards are too high. It's uh it's pretty crazy to be honest. Like, if you think about it, like all the guys, if you if you're a dude and you watch a lot of explicit content, you're basically treating yourself like you can get the most beautiful woman in the world, or at least the most beautiful woman that you can find on a screen, and then that's where you're linking your brain chemistry and you're like the signals to your brain that this is the level of maybe attractiveness that you're familiar with getting. And then you go out into the real world and you notice that like people just don't look like that because, first of all, there's certain camera lighting and it's all perfect and makeup and and whatever. Uh, like people don't look like that in real life, and you think that that's your standard now. So you've just like raised your standard from reality. How is a girl gonna stand a chance against that? Like in in real life, and in the same way, like girls do it with these particular novels and movies and certain expectations of a guy bending over backwards to just support you and your dreams, like that's not a relationship. If we're if we're speaking biblically, a man should always have a mission, like a man uh should have be goal-oriented and have a plan to lead a family. Imagine, like, you're a girl and you get with a guy and he's like and you're like, okay, so like what's your like plan in life? And he's like, just support you, like just that's all I was gonna do. Like, that's not a good thing. The girl is not gonna really want that. Like, it sounds awesome in this ideology or this make-believe world of like you get with the guy and you know, you have all your dreams come true. And it's like, but then you go, Oh, but I also want a guy that leads. It's like, what do you what do you mean by leads? Like, people, girls will say that all the time, and then you're like a guy tries to lead and he's like, he's controlling, and you're like, Well, okay, I don't exactly know what you meant by lead. Like, obviously, like no one should be telling anyone what to do, but you go, okay, well, lead in the sense of I think we should do this as a family, and then you go, no, you know, okay, well, I tried to lead, and then it was just disagreement. Like, this is why the Bible talks about a man should love his wife in the way that Christ loved the loves the church, which is to love unto death, right? It's like a sacrificial love, and the woman should submit to the man. A better word for today is like is just replace submit with trust. Like just trust the man, just trust him. Like he responds really well with trust. There's a whole nother thing for another day, anyway. Uh, but yeah, like a man, a man should give up his life for his wife and love his wife unto death, but only if she's trusting him as well. Like, if it's one way, if the man's just loving her unto death and she doesn't trust him, it's a one-sided relationship. And what you're gonna get is the guy is just gonna be a doormat. He is gonna be a pathetic man, he's gonna have a muzzle around his mouth, you're just gonna be the the woman's just gonna be wearing the pants, and that's just that's the relationship you're gonna have. In the in the flip of that, if the woman trusts the man with everything, and he doesn't love her, then you're going to have an abusive man. He's going to take advantage of the trust and support, do whatever he wants, and he's not going to lead. He's not going to be sacrificing himself and his needs for you. Uh, and you can you can see when that happens as well, because he isn't prioritizing you, and uh he might be very irresponsible and might even be childish. I'll do there's enough in there to do a whole nother episode, but um, I might get cancelled anyway. So at this point, 50 shades is like considered to be PG amongst the smut readers. 50 Shades is is PG. Um based on these insane subreddits. I mean, some of these subreddits as well, by the way, I'll just say, is kind of the opposite. Like there's there's entire Reddit threads dedicated to women saying these no these novels rule my life, like they rule my relationship. They're saying I just didn't know the impact it was gonna have on me psychologically. And it makes sense. Like, whatever you feed yourself with, you become. Whatever you're you're feeding yourself in your intellectual diet, you become like that. If I wanted to watch SpongeBob SquarePants all day, every day, I'm gonna be a silly guy. It's gonna turn me into a silly fella. All right. I know that when I used to watch Scrubs all the time, I wanted to be a doctor. I'm so glad I didn't try because I would have, first of all, I would have failed. There's no way I would have been able to be a doctor. But it just would have been wasted time. And it's not like that. It wouldn't like working in a hospital isn't like scrubs having fun with your friends all day. Okay. But I was influenced because I watched it every day all the time. But yeah, the look, the the essence of what I'm driving at is that it's an it's an issue that women just need to watch out for. And we kind of do need to bring in the idea of shaming it, as the same is with boys watching explicit content. We should be shaming smart novels because they're gross and disgusting and perverted, and it's ruining the world because obviously there wasn't a single even shred of eroticism in the Wuthering Heights book, and then this movie was just a smut movie, and that wouldn't have happened if there wasn't such a rise in smart novels. Okay, so yeah, and you know, in and what's annoying as well is that like in that movie, dude, they primed people to like that because the first 30% of the movie was 10 out of 10, it was sick, it was so good. They prime you and set you up, and they build, and you really believe that you see the chemistry with the actors, and you see like the build-up of this romance or whatever, but like knowing the story, you know that like what happens, but then they just yeah, do their own thing, and then they end up just making it eroticism for half the movie, and you just like dude, you just like set people up for that. You just like made people love everything heaps at the start, and then you're just like now it's gonna throw filth at the wall, and then they're gonna they're still just gonna love it anyway, and then we'll make a sad ending so people cry and then they think oh that movie was amazing, and they're just tricking you because it's garbage. So, oh dude, it's frustrating anyway. I guess I'll end it there, but yeah, there's a lot to say. Everything is um is trash and garbage, except for the fact that Jesus loves you, Christ is King, and he's coming back soon. So, thanks again. Enjoy your week. Have an amazing week. God bless you, you're amazing, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Thank you.