Well I Guess This Is Growing Up | Ep.27

I go to a rock show solo, love the band, then realise the crowd, the booze, and my patience are not built the same at 35. That awkward night turns into a bigger talk on ageing well, dropping childish habits, and choosing a life built on contribution instead of nostalgia. 
• solo concert lessons and the feeling of being “too old” for certain environments 
• irritation, crowd chaos, and what sober eyes notice 
• ageing realities through injuries, recovery, and how diet hits harder 
• routines getting stronger as friends have kids and time gets costly 
• the upside of getting older, clearer taste, better choices, more stability 
• why chasing youth is cringe and how to enjoy the age you are 
• the difference between childish adults and lazy adults 
• why men should aim to contribute rather than just consume 
• healing, seeking help, and the trap of staying stuck in old patterns 
• living in the present and trusting the best is yet to come 

Christ is King. Jesus loves you. And he’s coming back soon. 

Transcript

Welcome And The Rock Show

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to episode 27 of the Ministry of Man podcast. Now, listen to this. This week I went to a a rock show. I went to see one of my favorite bands called Hot Mulligan. Now there's a few things I want to point out. I I solo tripped this. So the last time they came to town, I didn't see them. I regretted it. They came this time. I bought a ticket on Impulse. And so I just went and I soloed the concert. First time I've ever done that. And so I went to this rock show and I realized a couple of things. First of all, they're really good live and I enjoyed a lot of the songs. But more importantly, I learned that I I think I am too old for that environment. If if that's if that's how you put it. Now I want to explain what I mean by that because I don't think people that there's an age that you just stop going to see music if you like live music. Because I love music, and a lot of people do. And there isn't an age limit that cuts you off from listening to live music. But I think specifically that degree the the type of concert that that was or the type of show that they put on, as much as I enjoyed the music, the environment I felt like I was too old for that environment.

Crowds And Getting Irritated

SPEAKER_00 1:36

Now allow me to explain why I came to that conclusion. So I get there and I get there quite early. By the time there's a couple of bands on before they started, by the time they started I was already my feet were already a little sore. So I've been standing around for a little while. There were two bands before them. Feet were already a little sore. So that's not good. That's a bad start for me. Now, what kept happening is that I wasn't able to find a place to stand that was safe from people constantly either bumping into me or walking so closely in front of me that I had to move. So there's like there's no comfortable. I'll just stand here. I'll stand here and I'll just, you know, chill and wait. And that just wasn't that wasn't being facilitated. For some reason, like people the world, okay, this will give you. I think I don't know what it was. I think it was just me. I don't think anyone else has this problem. I was standing in the back of a group. There was a large group, and behind me was empty space, a lot of empty space. Because I was at the back, standing here, and I'd put myself at the back because I was like, oh, I just want to stand here behind everyone. I won't go in a populated era. I go to the back and it was a last person. Someone comes from the empty space to the crowd that I was standing at and squeezes in past me in front of me and comes back out around to the empty space. Rather than just they could have gone from empty space in a beeline to where they wanted to go, but it was almost like the world was playing tricks on me because she decided to just go right in front of just me and then walk out again. So she wasn't going into the crowd. Oh okay, so that so the other thing was irritation. I found that I was getting irritated a lot, which is that's when I started to think I might be too old for this because I was getting irritated by little things like

The Pit And The Smell

SPEAKER_00 3:53

that. So one one other thing was uh when when the band started playing, I was like, okay, I'm gonna go in, I want to get a good spot. Like I want to go, you know, I want to be relatively close. I don't want to be in the thick of it, but I want to be pretty close. And so I got I went to a spot and you know, just before they started, and then as as they started, people are just like crowding in. I'm like, yeah, that's fine, it's whatever. Uh, you know, I wasn't in the heat of it. And then I think it was on the like the first song was so good, it was one of my favorite songs that I wanted to be getting into it more, and I saw people jumping around a bit further up, and I was like, oh, maybe I maybe I could get into this. And so I go um and and work my way forward. You know, one of those circle pits opens up, which gave me the room I needed to be able to freely walk a heap closer around this circle. So I got real close. And then when the circle pit sort of closed in and everyone was jumping around, I started jumping around, I was getting into it. Now, the the fun of that lasted for less than I'd say 90 seconds. Like I finished up that song, a new song started, jumping around, and you're like, okay, now it's like it's annoying. Now it's just like you just you have you jump, and then that it just doesn't stop like people just constantly knocking into you all the time, and this is like I'm listening to myself say this, and I'm like, dude, I sound so old, like complaining about this, but I'm just giving you my I'm just getting this will make sense in a minute. Okay, so so I'm getting knocked around every which way, and I'm like, this is kind of annoying now because everyone's like super, super sweaty as well, and everyone's gross, it smells really bad. There were so many places in the venue that just smelled bad, like you just like all the time, like you couldn't really go anywhere. Like you you might be able to get a a pocket of somewhere where you get some not it wouldn't be fresh air because it was indoors, but just not bad smelling air, and that would only last a little bit, and then you just get a waft of bad smelling air, and that so that that was an inescapable uh feature of the night, and so yeah, so that was that wasn't

The Perfect Spot Gets Ruined

SPEAKER_00 6:20

good. So when I got when I got sick of it, I was like, okay, I'm gonna push my way back. It was so packed that like you there was nowhere else to really go. So I took myself out and I went around to the side, and the side was kind of fine, but it's not as good to see. But I was like, that's fine, because you know, I can still see, it's just on a side angle, whatever. And I found the perfect spot, man. When I tell you this, let me let me tell you this. I found the perfect spot. There was this massive big pillar, right? And I saw a gap, and no one was standing in front of the pillar because everyone was cut, everyone kind of peeled, peeled like around it. Like, so say this microphone's the pillar. Um people that are listening won't see the microphone, but people were just like going around it, and then immediately in front of the pillar, no one was standing there. So I put myself right in front of the pillar, and I was like, this is so good. And I was like, I can just park up here, I can listen, I'm pretty close. The side angle is not the best, but it's still good. And then this one dude who had to ruin it all. This dude, he's he has the hair and facial hair of someone that I've I have never been friends with and will never be friends with. There's a particular hairstyle combination with facial hair combination. I'm not gonna say what it is, but this particular combination is like I know we're not we would not get along. Like I know the type of person that rocks this, they're all the same person. There isn't anyone with this combination that is different, they're all the same person, but they think that they're different, so that's a clue. Now uh this person had no idea of that other people were at the concert, that other people were there. He um believed that he was the only person in the room. And I won't go into all the details, but he's obviously just like backing up into me all the time. And I can't go back as well, by the way, because I'm against a pillar, so him backing up against me, I've got nowhere else to go. Um, unless I just leave my spot altogether, but everywhere else is kind of crowded, like I can't really go anywhere. This is the only spot, and so um he kept he just kept being annoying, I guess, and like obnoxious and rowdy, and um but that's like a concert, like that's not a that's what you do there. So it's like me being annoyed at him is is like that would be annoying outside of the context of a concert. Inside of the context of the concert, I'm irritable. I'm being the irritable one that shouldn't be irritable. Because by the way, I don't drink. That's the other thing. Everyone else there apparently wanted to get super drunk, and this dude was definitely super drunk, but more so it's just like the vibe of the place. Everyone's just drinking and sweaty and gross. And like even where I was standing, in between songs, the lead singer would talk, and people would people would talk next to me. I could hear their conversations, and I'm like, these are the worst conversations I've ever heard in my life. It's just all oh, it's just drunk talk, man. Like you just when you hear drunk talk when you're sober, it's so cringe, and it's just it's it's not good. Anyway, I actually left that spot because two girls decided to get into a fight and throw drinks on each other right next to me, and I got covered in alcohol, and uh, so that was annoying. So I backed away from that little area, and then old mate decided that you know the annoying dude, he went he went off to get drinks, and when he came back, I was standing in a different spot. He came back and he thought squeezing in between me and this other guy was going to be the path that he wanted to take. So he squeezes through this like super tight spot between me and this other guy, and he's like, Oh, sorry, boys. And we try to let him in as much as we can. He spills his drink all over me, and then as soon as he's like one step in front of me, and he's like decided he doesn't actually want to go there anymore, and and then he left and then he went back out like a different way. I was like, Bro, why am I here? Why am I here? And so, and then it's like super late as well. And then it was too loud, and oh, the kids were having a racket. No, it wasn't too loud, but um, but it I guess it was like a super late night, you know. You're getting I'm getting home at like nearly midnight. I think I got to sleep at midnight. I'm just like it's just so out of my routine, and so it just got me thinking because I'm like, I feel like I'm I am too old for this. I loved the music and I love the band, and I'm glad that I like I don't regret going, but it did make me think like yeah, I felt I think I might be too old for this. And I know that there would have been a lot of people there that were my age because that type of music is like there was a lot of millennials there, but I think they they are too old for this too. Like they had there was definitely people there that was like, you're too old to be that drunk doing this, like in my opinion. I don't know, maybe

Aging Hits The Body And Diet

SPEAKER_00 11:48

not, but I want to just talk about a few things about growing up because in conjunction with that, right? So this the the concert's one thing. One of the things that I do the most outside of work is I love going to the gym or exercising, I love running, whatever it is, and I counted up my injury at the moment. I've got I think six injuries. I've got my right foot, at the bottom of my right foot, my right knee, uh, my right shoulder, my left quad. I've got a really stiff, rigid back at the moment that doesn't feel good. I wouldn't say it's an injury, but there's definitely something going on there. Something's wrong with my right trap as well, up through my neck. Um, I've got a wrist issue that comes and goes. I've got an Achilles issue that comes and goes. Like there's all these things I'm like, dude, when I was 20, I was literally made of rubber and magic. Uh I could do whatever I wanted and not get injured. I didn't even have to warm up or cool down or whatever. And I'm just getting I'm just constantly injured all the time. I was injured from the gym with my shoulder injury and my quad injury, so I haven't been able to go to the gym that often. So I'm like, oh, I'll just start running. And I start running. I mean, I always do little runs, so it's not like I never do it, and I hurt my foot really bad. So it's like hard to even run past a kilometer. So I've got to wait for that to heal up and fix that. So it's like there's that sort of things that happen when you get older, and there's like your diet is more unforgiving as well. Like you used to be able to eat whatever you want and just still feel like a million dollars, but like now I notice what I eat. Like if I eat poorly, I will literally start to feel sick and tired. I'll get drowsy and I'll I'll literally feel like I'm getting a sore throat or something as well. If I'm eating like really bad, um I can't read for as long, I can't concentrate at least for as long. Like my brain's more, you know, distracted. It took me too long to think of the word distracted right now, probably because I didn't eat good last night. So there's that. You know,

Routines And Friends Changing

SPEAKER_00 14:06

I caught up with a bunch of my some old friends, you know, the other day that I hadn't seen in a while, and it's like, yeah, you don't see friends for a long time, the older like in in older age. Like they're having kids, like the I saw them because I was going to a baby shower. Like they're all having kids and don't not doing as many social activities. The the cost of socializing has become more expensive as far as just like the energy and the effort that it takes and the destabilization of the routine that you have as well. So a lot of guys, especially if they're well, yeah, whether they're in relationships or not, the older you get, you really start to hone in on a routine. And it's really hard to break up the routine. A friend of mine just had his birthday, and he said a similar sentiment to what I often say is like on your birthday, it can it can kind of be an inconvenience sometimes because you do feel some sort of obligation to do something, but you also you have your routine and you're like, I'm like, um, oh yeah, I guess like you know, we'll do something, but it kind of throws things out a little bit, like not much, but you know. But it's just one of those things, man. It's like this is what um this is the what Blink 182 said when they said, I guess this is growing up. I guess this is growing up. But

The Upside Of Getting Older

SPEAKER_00 15:31

here's the thing there's also there's a lot of pros to it as well. It's not just all like I can list all the bad things about aging, let's say, but there are so many good things as well. Like, I, for me at least, the older I've got, the more I've been able to hone in on a better job, and so I can buy, I've I'm wealthier now than I was when I was younger. So I can buy things that I want and not have to really worry about it. I know what I like, like I've I've got I've gone through a lot of the things and the processes of trying to figure out what I like and what I don't like, the type of people I like and the type of people I don't like, the games I like to play, the foods I like to eat. Like, you know, you've you've you've explored and experienced so many things. So you're like, yeah, I've figured it out now. So that's convenient. That saves a lot of time. I can go to places I want to go to and do things I want to do, and I'm I'm less likely to have bad experiences because I know I'm putting myself in the environments that I have already tried and tested. So that's good. Um, and I'm way better at life in general. Like I've I'm I make way less mistakes, even though I'm still making a lot of mistakes, I make way less mistakes because I can identify mistakes a lot easier and I can learn from them. So even when I do make mistakes now, let's say, I can learn from them way quicker because I can I understand how it works, I understand how learning from mistakes works now. And like I'm like I'm currently walking around with 35 years worth of life experience, which isn't much to some people, but it's a lot more than walking around with, let's say, only 20 years worth of life experience. And so, you know, 20-year-old me versus 35-year-old me, they're gonna have completely different experiences of traversing life in in just a day-to-day and even across a year. It's uh it's a lot different. So, like life is great at the moment. Like at 35, I can say I love my life. Like, it's uh a lot bic a lot of because of the mistakes I've made in the past and learn from them, and now I'm just better equipped to deal with things, and I know how to problem solve better. Like, if something bad happens, I know how to deal with it way better. Like it turns out that if something goes wrong, drinking an entire bottle of vodka and going out and getting into a fight isn't a good way to solve your problems. That usually would would create more problems, and so now I know you know, took 15 years to figure that out, but and so like I I like growing up, like I I see growing up as a good thing, like it's one of the biggest mistakes you can ever make, and that that I see people make all the time is this like desperate attempt to hold on to their youth, or to just like they're just like grasping at the straws of their youth.

Stop Chasing Youth

SPEAKER_00 18:34

And it's first of all, it's really cringe because people know when you're doing that, but also you you're you're missing out on now. Like I remember when I turned 30, I thought to myself, like in my late 20s, I was like, oh, this sucks. Like I'm getting older, I'm like nearly 30. And I had this mindset of like 28, 29. I'm like, oh man, I'm getting so old. As soon as I hit 30, I was like, well, now I feel like my 20s are done, and I'm starting my 30s. Like, this is a whole decade I've got in front of me. I'm the youngest that I'll that you can be in your 30s, and so let's look forward and see what 30s has to offer, rather than being like, oh, I still want to try and live like I'm 23. Because as you're just not that. You're not you are the age that you are, you're never gonna be a different age uh if you've already passed it, let's say. Obviously, you can be a different age in the future, but yeah, you you just you are simply just not the age that you used to be, and neither is anyone else either. Like everyone deals with that, everyone ages, it's an inevitability in life, and so you can do whatever you want, but if you're doing it to try and I guess hold on to some youthful way of living, then that's I think that's the wrong way to be living. Like live the age that you are now, whatever you're doing. So the way I see it is I'm I'm 35 and I am doing the things that I like, I guess, at 35. And when I say that, I'm 35 and I'm happy to be 35. So I don't wish I was 21, I don't wish I was older, I don't wish I was in high school, I don't wish that I was a different age other than the age that I that I currently am. I like the the exact age that I'm at, and so that the things that I like, I can trust that these are things that anyone could potentially like at 35, rather than being like, oh no, I'm getting old. Let's go out and have fun again. Like, oh, let's do the things we used to do. Like, I like to do this and that, and let's go. Oh, I just want to, you know, the the yearning to feel the youthful rush again when you didn't even really feel like that at the time, you were just having fun not thinking, really, usually. Like, I I look back at high school and I'm like, I hated high school when I was there, like I didn't want to go to school, but now I look back at it, I'm like, oh man, high school was so much fun. I had a great time, and I remember all the good memories. But it's like that is never the case, it's not the case in the moment. So, like, yeah, going back to what I was saying about you can do whatever you want as long as you're not you're not doing it in order to live through some sort of nostalgic awakening. Like, I like skateboarding, for example. I did that when I was well, ever since I can remember, I did it in primary school, high school, and then all after, like into my 20s. Love skateboarding. I haven't done it in a very long time, but if I ever was to do it, like I know if a friend hit me up, he's like, Hey man, do you want to go for a skate? And I'll and I was free, I would say, yeah, let's do it. And I would, I'm sure I would have a heap of fun doing it. But I know I would the reason for doing it wouldn't be to be like, oh, I want to live the way that I did when I was a kid again. You know, living like you can have activity. You can do whatever you want. Go to the rock show. Go see your band. Go skating. Go if you're a drinker and you want to go clubbing, like whatever, like I suppose do whatever.

Childish Fun Versus Laziness

SPEAKER_00 22:15

But I think the the point I'm trying to make is be very aware of why it is that you're doing something, and if you should be doing something else, because you really don't want to be like a 35-year-old hitting up nightclubs and binge drinking every weekend. Like if that's your thing still, I think I think we're well within our rights to be judging those people. I mean, everyone does. Like, you know, there's most the core demographic of clubbing specifically. From I haven't been in so long, so I don't know. But I stopped going when I was in my early 20s. So I imagine that that's the case for a lot of people. A lot of like I remember in my mid-20s, I was going to pubs, late 20s, maybe pubs was more um the place to go. But but I feel like you can definitely judge, like, and just be like very you know, those memes, it's like what are you doing? Like, go start a family. Like, go why are you here? There's that kind of that kind of mentality, I guess. But it is it is unbecoming. Like, if you are in your mid-30s and that's just what your thing is just going into the nightlife. I don't know, it's just cringe, man. Maybe, maybe this is a better way to put it. Like, you need to be able to identify what the childish things are. So you you could say it's childish to be pushing 40, and all you want to do is hang out at the skate park all day, every day. Like, that's a childish thing. It's childish to yeah, just like binge drink every weekend and like go out to nightclubs and stuff. It's childish to, I don't know, there's whatever whatever the thing is, you have to identify is this a childish thing, and in like going to maybe see one band, you you wouldn't say that's a childish thing, but maybe if you if that's what you're doing every every weekend, this is like there's this band and that band, and you're just going getting blind drunk, and I don't know, just kind of I feel like you've got time to do that, you've got time to do something important, or like you should you should be be able to work on something, which I'll get into a little bit more, but identifying what the thing is, because there's there's the opposite side, the opposite toxic thing is that the the people that say that they're too old for everything, and then they never do anything. So, like I know people that was like they were 23 being like, Oh yeah, I'm such a grandma, yeah. All they want to like I can't keep up with you kids. Like they were talking to 21-year-olds, like, what what are you talking about? And I feel like some people use it as an excuse to just be lazy and not do anything at all. Like, you're not that old, you can actually be active. Like people go, oh yeah, I wouldn't be able to like stay up till 10.30 p.m. I'm such a grandma, I go to bed at like 6.30. And he's like, no, you don't. You go to bed, you probably go to bed at 7.30, and then you go on your laptop and watch random stuff or scrolling in your phone for three hours, and you don't actually go to sleep until 10:30 or 11 p.m. That's probably the most likely thing that's happening. And you're an introverted person and you don't want to go to the social event, so you're just like, yeah, I'm too old for that. No, you're not, you're lazy. So, yeah, but I mean, there'll be there'll be people who go, Oh no, I'm I'm way too old to start exercising, and they'll be my age. And you're like, my parents are in there like pushing 70, and they're going to the gym. They started going to the gym within the last year, and they hadn't been for decades. So you can do it, like you can do everything. You can you're never gonna be too old to like let's say follow a dream or something. Like you hear of people becoming actors in their um old age, like someone that wasn't doing anything, they're like, Yeah, I want to try out acting, and they were like 65, and then they got like a feature film. Now they're in heaps of films. As long as it's not like my dream is to become a star, like the fastest person in the world or something, and you're 35, yeah, that's that's definitely not gonna happen. Like, you like there's just no way, like realistically, outside of like sport, there's probably a few other things, but you can at least progress and pick up the hobby and do something like that. Or I don't know, start a business or start whatever it is. If you want to write music, like people can write songs at any age, you don't need to be young to create a song, you don't need to be young to start a podcast, or you don't need to be young to I don't know, start exercising. So, yeah, you're very rarely too old to do something that's like a dream thing, but no one's using that excuse to like the childish people aren't using that excuse. So the difference between like childish people wanting to do childish things, or let's say childish adults wanting to do childish things, and then lazy adults claiming that they're too old to do anything. That's just two distinct groups there. So I'm I'm probably

Men Should Contribute Not Consume

SPEAKER_00 27:25

talking or aiming and talking about growing up in form of play, like the people that play too much. Your as you as you age, you should, your your priorities should should change as you age. So if you have the same amount of time to do all the same things you you were doing as a kid, you haven't oriented your life well enough, be and because you you've got so much time that you've spent just playing. If you can spend most of your time playing, then you're wasting most of your time, especially as a man, because like one of the one thing about men specifically, and it goes for for everyone, but one thing that I know specifically for men is that like your your contribution to the world is a key and and fundamental aspect of manhood. How much you're actually giving, how much you're actually contributing to the world around you, to society, to family, to friends, whatever it is. If you aren't contributing to society or to those around you in some way, you should surely be looking to do that, like working towards being able to do that at least, working on something. So, like let's say you might be building a business in order to contribute to society in some way. You aren't currently contributing if you're building the business because it's not up and running, but you eventually will be. That's the goal. So, but yeah, like the so obviously the opposite to that is being a suck on society, like just like consuming, being a consumer and not a contributor just seems like the most pathetic way to live. And that's like I'm not even trying to be blunt, but that kind of seems to me like you get that feeling of man, that's just such a pathetic dude, pathetic guy just being a suck on society, just consuming. He's just all he does is buy things, eat things, watch things, take and just absorb and then but not giving anything back. Like there's just it just seems like such a bad way to live, man, as opposed to someone that is providing things, like providing food for others or welfare in some sense to others, providing information and skill and teaching and just making this the society and the world around them a better place seems like to me the most masculine thing you can do, and just the most worthwhile thing you can do. You aren't living for yourself, you're living for those around you. I mean, that's the gospel, is that that's that's what Jesus preaches is to die to yourself to later in your life for a friend is the highest form of love. So that idea of the bit just sacrificing for others, like you know, contributing costs you you something. It always is gonna cost you something, whether it be time or resources or energy, whatever it is, it's gonna cost you something. So I think as a man, that is probably one of the that is a fundamental point or attribute of a real man, in my point of view. But you should always be developing yourself. So you like you don't you can't be you can't be a 35-year-old talking about, oh, I don't know, dude. Like you can't be like a picky eater at like 35. It's like come on, like you have to grow and develop yourself. You have to you should always be developing yourself in some way and getting over these things. Like you can't be, you can't be in a perpetual state of healing forever, you can't be 40. Well, you can be, you can be. So I was gonna say you you can't be whatever age and still be dealing with

Healing And Games People Play

SPEAKER_00 31:18

something from you know as you're a kid, but you you absolutely can still be dealing with things, but you shouldn't be accepting it. I suppose maybe that's a better way to put it, is you shouldn't just accept it as like that this is your life reality. You can heal from anything, like you aren't so special to think that whatever trauma that you've got going on or what happened in your life is stuck with you forever. You have to understand that healing is available, the resources are there, but if you don't believe you can heal, or if you don't want to heal, then you're never going to. Because not wanting to heal, by the way, is a real psychological phenomenon. There's a book um called Games People Play. It's a book written by a psycho psychiatrist who has observed for decades types of games that people will play that are kind of that have dark sides to it. So one of the games that he says, and he's he's using games just as a as a reference point to understand what's happening, they're not like games to enjoy in that sense, but they're games that people want to be involved with, and one of those is someone uh person A, let's say, is the the psychiatrist or a doctor, or not even that, they might just be a friend. Person B is someone that has the the trauma or the problem. Now, both people want to keep that setup and that relationship as is because they're both getting something from it. So the person that is the helper, they're getting this sort of reward feeling of, oh, I'm so good, I'm altruistic, and they need me. Like I'm this person that I'm the safe place for them to be. And the other person is like, oh, I'm getting attention and validation, and I'm getting looked after, and you know, because the the hero is like the provider, and so they kind of have this thing, and and neither of them want to move beyond that. They they have this stable, familiar, relational dynamic that they want to stay the same, and so like by the way, there's like 40 of those games, like that this psychiatrist describes. It's an it's a really, really hard book to read, but you would it's mind-blowing because some of these things you would have experienced, by the way. There's no way you wouldn't have seen this in real life. Maybe I'll go through some of them in another episode, but but yeah, so you have to want to heal. And if you are like, but it's part of growing up, is is being really, really honest with yourself and being like, you can't just be dealing with the same thing for 20 years. You can be. I mean, you can't be submitted, like you can't submit yourself to the same issue for the the 20 years and think, yeah, this is just what I'm like. I mean, I'm I'm saying in the sense of go and seek help, and whether whether you end up healing from the thing or not isn't really relevant to what I'm saying. It's the attempt and the understanding that hey, I don't want to live like this, and I should probably find a way to move past it. I remember I was dealing with issues, and it was it got so bad, I was like, well, I can I can't live like that. Like, you gotta do something. Can't just live in the pit. And so you make phone calls and you go and you see doctors and you get medication if that helps, and you get, you know, action plans. What are we gonna do step by step, daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, like all these things. And then, you know, in my case, it works. So I'm be advocate for it. Now, yeah, but you just you you'll never grow up if you just keep making excuses, I suppose. Now, growing up, what I mean by growing up as well, um, it I don't mean that you just stop having fun.

Give Up Childish Ways

SPEAKER_00 35:28

It's just it's I just mean the order of your priorities should change as you age. So it's not to say that you can't watch movies or play games or laugh with your friends, like go go to the rock show, go to and to the skate park or whatever, do all the things. You can be you can be a silly guy too, sometimes if you want to be a silly guy. Sometimes I'm a silly guy, and that's okay. But if there's more important things to be doing, and there should be, like there should be important things to be doing, like and I and I mean if you if you had no other option but like yeah, we'll go to the movies and play the games and laugh and do whatever, if you're if there's nothing to sacrifice for you to do that and you can just do that freely all the time, then that's that's a problem. You should grow be growing up in that sense. It should be something to find, something for you to work on that you can can begin to contribute to society in some way, and and also and and in regards to being a silly guy, in regards to being like a silly billy, a silly goose, or a silly guy, you can still do that, but it's in the in the right context, right time and place, and also it's it's really not that beneficial. Like, there's been groups of friends that I've hung out with where I've been a silly guy too many times to the point that they no longer take you seriously, and that like when you when you go to say something serious, they kind of just don't really respect what you have to say because you're the now the you're kind of the clown of the group, so it's not really a good investment to do to be the silly guy, you know. You never see a a comedy actor ever win an Oscar for best actor, you know, it's always the dramas or the thrillers or whatever it is, and in some sense, you probably shouldn't be the same silly if we're talking about growing up, you shouldn't be the same silly that you used to be when you were young either. Like, you look how silly a little kid is, and then you look how like as they age, your sense of humor changes. Like, I'm I don't want to be laughing at the same things I was laughing at 20 years ago. Like, that's probably not good. Like, you should develop and change, and your sense of humor should change, you know. You should only laugh at things pertaining to whiskey and bourbon and cigarettes and suits and three-piece suits. You should only find things funny that are in regards to CEO business, and you should only find things funny about things that are sophisticated, okay? That's all. That's what you should find funny. Sophistication. Okay. Listen to this. 1 Corinthians 13, verse 11 says, When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. So there's a lot of wisdom in that. You should give up the childish things and the childish ways as you grow old, and it's not a bad thing. Holding on to the childish things because you want to live a life that you used to live is not good. You need to enjoy being different now, like you're different now. Enjoy that. You can appreciate the past, but you don't want to try and replicate it because you simply can't. That's the thing. You'll miss what's right in front of you if you try to do that. If you try to replicate the things of the past, you'll miss what's right in front of you, and you won't appreciate the present either. And you'll be constantly living in this perpetual looking back because in in 10 years' time from now you'll be you'll be looking at now, but you'll be looking at it through the lens of the past, you know, in a in a in a memory rather than just experiencing it now.

The Best Is Yet To Come

SPEAKER_00 39:39

The best is yet to come. That's the mindset. You having the mindset of the best is yet to come is one of the most beneficial mindsets you can really have because it's it's kind of a waste of time not believing that. Like, why wouldn't you want to believe that? You don't know what's gonna happen. The best the best could very well be yet to come that you don't even know. Like you thought that year, whatever you have in your mind, was your best year. You don't even know what's gonna happen next year. So why would you not expect the best? Like, it could be, it could be much better than anything you've ever experienced before. But yeah, but just always looking back is is it's not really accurate either. Like, like I said before, I look back at high school, I didn't I didn't like it at the time. I like it now in memory, but my memory isn't the realistic version of what happened. I'm obviously not keeping all of the monotonous, boring days in my memory, and like they're not coming up when I look back. Because why would you store those memories? Your brain isn't going to store memories of the the empty days and the tedious like homework and bad things that you had to do, and it like that's the case for all of them different parts of life. Like looking back, I look back, uh like there's certain parts I can look back and be like, man, that was such a fun time in life in memory. And if you if I really think hard enough, I'm like, yeah, no, but like a lot most of the days of the week weren't good like that. It was like you remember this one event, and then you you you put together all of the top events of that season of life, and you're like, man, that was so good. But 95% of it wasn't, it was just like a few big core things. People just forget that, and and so yeah, so if you're if you're ignoring the present because you're so fixed on trying to replicate the past, you're you're gonna miss out on on whatever good things are now. You're probably not gonna put as much investment into new experiences as well, things that you've never done or experienced, but um, yeah, and you'll be like Andy Bernard, man. Andy Bernard, who said, I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days while you're in the good old days, and the way to do that is just to be super present and to be open to things, and obviously, like you know, there's a lot to it. You it's not gonna be good if you are lazy and you're just not wanting to do anything, but I don't even know. I'm trailing off now. I suppose the core of growing up the way I see it is like enjoy the the year. Like I remember the year I turned 30. I remember thinking at the at the end of that year, I was like, that was the best year I've ever had. Like that was like there's so many incredible things happened that year, and I was 30 when that happened. So it was like and I thought all my best days were in my 20s. It was like I didn't even scratch the surface, and uh, and I just turned 35, and guess what? This is gonna be my best year yet. Why? Because I believe it. And maybe it is gonna be, like, I don't even know. I only just turned 35, so but I'm not gonna be like, man, I I don't think I'll ever get better than that year. Like, that's that's such a pointless way to think. Like you look forward in hope, and then if it is, then great. And if it's not, well then maybe the next year will be, and you know, you just keep doing that. You keep doing that until you are incapable of thinking and walking or caring. Maybe just keep doing it until you don't care anymore. Uh until you don't care about looking back, at least. That's probably all I have to say about

Present Living And Closing

SPEAKER_00 43:25

that. It's it's important to grow up, and it's a good thing to grow up, and living too much in nostalgia. Like, there's nothing wrong with nostalgia, nostalgia's fine. But just like living in nostalgia and trying to replicate it is just such a waste, man. You're not gonna get the time back. You need to just whatever you whatever you you've got now, whatever the situation is that you're in right now, and what you've got now, focus on that being the best that it could be. Not trying to be the best that it was before. Just focus on the now. And don't be afraid to. To grow up. No one wants to be Peter Pan. Peter Pan is a is a warning. Can't be Peter Pan. So anyway, Christ is King. Jesus loves you. And he's coming back soon. Thanks for listening.