#48 - Perek Gimel F - Mesilas Yesharim Explained

In two short sessions a week Rabbi Dovid Schoonmaker will elucidate and bring to life the eternal words of the Mesilas Yesharim. Rabbi Dovid Schoonmaker is the Rosh Yeshivah of Shapell's / Yeshivas Darche Noam in Yerushalaim.

Transcript

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And the last time with these words. Umash Amru Zahlum Vrocha, Tashis Choshek Vahilila. The night came on and it was the darkness came and it was night. This is this world that's domalilaila. As you can see, it's dark behind. Those are Trisim, that's not the dark you see, but it's dark outside. Now, what would you say? What would you say about this? Very nice, huh? Very nice. Yafamod. Zalumhaza Domalila. This is this world that is like the night. Bahavain, continues Urbaino. Kamanifla. How wonderful. Hamamrazeh. Whoa. How wonderful. This isn't. This isn't Stamp 5 words. Hazal, when they're telling us. Toshis Khoshvahilila Zom, Hazdom Lilah, they're telling us Emmas. They're telling us Omek, they're telling us depth. They're taking us somewhere. Lemish Mammoc Lavinbo. But someone whose momic, you have to go in to understand it. Robosai, it's fine to learn things sometimes a little faster. You have to understand you're missing the point. I made this point before. I think Ms. such an eony work. You have to see that. It's Lemish Mammoc Lovin Bo. I'm learning Khazals. Boom, boom, boom, boom, bum, bo, bo, bo, bum, boop, boop, bum. Zalum has domaila. Very good. Next. Next. Next. No. You won't see the Kama Nifla Mamraza. To see the Kama Nifla Amraza, you have to be Mammoc in it. You have to think about it. You have to be guided in it sometimes. Kineichr. Now, why? What is it? What does it mean? What does it mean this world is Domalila? What about this world is Domalilah? I'm having a good time. I'm going outside. I buy stuff. Amazon, I have Prime, things delivered to me. I get food. I have Volt. Whatever the Volt's uh Volt is a fast delivery service. I can get all types of kosher food. Yes, kosher cruise. Great. Go to Ako for Pesach. What's what's Lila? There are two types of mistakes that darkness causes to a person. Think to yourself, what are they? Let's see. Oh yeah, mashalafan call. You just don't see it all, right? You can walk off the precipice and not even realize. Oh shiyato elo amud kiluhoadam. Badam kilhoamud. Or it's misunderstanding. I see a column, I say, Shal Malika Rabir. I see an enemy and I say, hey buddy. I see a friend and I think it's an enemy. I don't know what I'm seeing. So one is I just see nothing. It's dark. What can I see? Another one is I misinterpret and I don't know what things aren't. And that's the and where is a working remote? Say not our bodies on our Sekal. The Olamhaza makes us see darkness. The darkness of this world makes us see things that are good. It's good to be on vacation the whole time. It's good to do nothing with ourselves. It's good to be a couch potato. It's good to be dominated by technology. It's good to be entertained. This is Gishmach. It's easy, it's nice. So much of our senses say that to us. We have to work so hard to say, no, Omalatarah, Khesed, family, Mishbacha, our our our spouses, our children. Here's where life is. It's difficult because there's a darkness. I don't have a good explanation of exactly the difference between Homrius and Gashmius. To our eyes. And it's garments to tayot. A person doesn't even see the stumbling blocks in the world, it's all good. No problem. The fools. They're so sure of themselves. I have nothing to be worried about. I have no regrets. You ever hear people say this? Now, like it's such a silly thing to say. No regrets. Why no regrets? You were you were perfect? You did everything nicely, you're always good to your kids. Man, your daughter doesn't talk to you anymore. You have no regrets? You've left so many corpses on your way behind. You wasted so much time. Whether you should be bound by guilt or shame and how you use it, etc. But just no regrets. It's all good. You've hurt so many people, you've done made so many mistakes, you've wasted so much. No regrets. That's that's that koshik. You don't know what you're thinking, and you hochumetah, and you're sure yourself. Beli Shiyata Shigia Pakathila. Umma Sha'omar Hakatub Derek Rushaim Kafela. The way of the wicked is like kafelah, is like um darkness, uh fog. Lo yodumai kashil. They don't even know what they're falling into. A little less clear what they mean exactly, I'll be honest. They're plunder. I'm not sure exactly what the entire business, but I apologize, I don't have the exact translation. I get a chance to look them up. Here's the point. His interpretation, what I want to focus on. Libam barilahem kulam. They're so sure of themselves, they're hard. You see, people like, I'm so right. You know, this is so, this is such a bad shit of the girl is perfect for you. The boy is perfect for you. Open your eyes. You're afraid of commitment. That's what it is. No, our nishamas don't meet. Nishomashmanana, this is the right person for you. Libum Barilam Kulam. They don't even realize it's a mikshal. You're you're there's there's a therapist called, this is one example, Harville Hendricks. He says that people sabotage relationships. You could be going out, all of you says you want to get married, and all of you says you don't, all of you sends a message you don't want to married, be married. But you're sure of yourself and you're upset. What's going on in my shadukum? Because you're sabotaging. But you're sure you're right. Libam Barilam, Kulam, Vadohan Termedu, and here you are. And so too, in a zillion other ways. Like, it's not working out. You know, I have to leave this job. My boss is so bad. It's your meetings. Your boss isn't so bad, it's your midos. You can't deal with it. You're you're jealous. Well, why did my boss promote him and not me? Because he works better than you do. That's why. Perhaps. Obviously, I'm speaking perhaps these theoretical situations. Why did he get the promotion? Why did I why why did I get a demotion? Why why is my salary? It could be you, but you don't realize. And now you're so you've you've demonized your boss, you've lost your job, you're sitting with nothing as opposed to taking the message. You have to step up. You didn't step up. So that's but your lab is Burry, you're sure. You know, this is the perfect girl for me. Christine McKinley. Amazing, you know. The Jewish girls are jappy, they're uh, you know, high drama, hard take care of, expensive. Okay. You know, Christine, she she, you know, Christine was very positive about she likes Kodak, she likes the she likes Kanaka gifts, and we went away for and she likes bagels. I mean, she'll come around. Um, I've shown bias, so we'll be fine. You know, she's the Jewish girl's uncompared her. How about the second toes? Who kashim and arishum? Whoa. After all that, the second toes is worse than the first one. You see things that are negative as if it's mamesh tov. Incredible. The anusel is mixed up. The night comes, the darkness comes, and it's night. So both of you have to understand that. Connected, this is let me speak about the the olumhas is a is a is a darkness, there's a darkness in the world. It's implanted in it. The itzahara, who has such a rain in this world, the tsadra, the sitraakra has such a tsad in this world, whatever these things mean, these things mean philosophically. And that makes that we're living in a situation of darkness. And you have to imagine when you go outside at night, understand that that's the situation during the day. That darkness is what's happening during the day. Now, there's a beauty in the world, of course, also. Thomod, we've spoken about that, the beauty of the world, but we have to penetrate the darkness to see the beauty of the world. There's a beauty in food. We have to penetrate the darkness, see the beauty. There's beauty, there's elokus, there's there's there's a kiss in everything. There's beauty in members of the opposite sex. But that's such a good example where where the darkness of alumhaza makes us objectify each other and not see the beauty in a relationship. The infatuation makes us think that that's what the lust makes us think that's what love is. And people will give up on the security and love and relationship and long-term kinship that they have with a spouse for the darkness of infatuation, which is in front of them sometimes. Not in RT or Khalila, but just something to talk about, right? That's the same darkness. And you don't see, but no, but this is this is a relationship. This is, you know, she's cranky and she's at the office, dressed nicely, etc. He's so so friendly, so polished, you know, so respectful, and he's you know, sleeping late on the couch and even yells at me sometimes. No, that's where your relationship is. Not right that he yells at you, but that's where it is. He's not. He's the Azuhara, one big Aitzahara. He'll be exactly like him and a lot worse. It just came to my mind to say this. Maybe it's not so irrelevant, but you know, Stephen Covey says that someone came to him one time. He says, You know, I have a real problem. He said, What's the problem? He said, My wife, I go to conventions. I'm a businessman, I go to conventions, work conventions all the time. And, you know, my wife won't leave me alone. She just won't leave me. She's always, you know, calling and nervous and guilty and this, that. She won't leave me alone. Like, what should I do? So Stakovi said to him, Well, how'd you meet your wife? Well, I said, I was at a convention, you know, my first meter. So you see the Rod, she's Mamashtov, right? You don't know, you don't know what you're looking at. When we talk kakhmidchaskim, now this what happens? So you're so sure you're right, and we feel this with makhlokis, like that. Like, I have to stand on my principles. I have to take this person down. I have to make a big machlokus about this, I have to make a big deal about this. This cannot go unnoticed, right? Again, all the things I'm saying are obviously I'm talking in the theoretical situation, then every situation has to be understood. I'm doing mitzvahs it's a mitzvah. Mitchaskim, they become strong. It's not enough that it's lacking from them the truth. We have to talk about this more. Such a big line. They find Raia said, I'll prove it to you. This is how it is. That's what Nisionot means, like uh, like tests. Right? So the person who's right. No, this is the way to be. I'm telling you. You know, you have to, without this, it's not, and if you don't, a little this, a little that. Psychology says, tests say you have to act like this, you have to be like this. Why, why should the why should there be so you know, what's wrong with a little mingling? What kind of hermit are you that's not a healthy way to live, not to do XYZ, and and I can even bring you a proof from a test that said it's healthy for a boy, too, etc. A proof, a raya, rainal of chuva, and I have another proof and another proof, but it's all the Azahara. That's what's driving. And inside it's one big darkness of the night, which is driving the whole thing. Wow. Shinir Limlim So Rayot Gadolo, I wrote, a little bit of alcohol helps me and helps me loosen up. Again, that could be true sometimes when we're talking about, but the person who's abusing it, but you're fella, you're gonna be driving soon. What are you doing? Yeah, but it's important, but you're gonna be driving soon. A car. No, but I read a mechkar which says that, and now it's in a mitzvah to be misameh, chasavikala, and what, and now I'm at the oh, I'm at the ta'amah, what a mitzvah ta'mel. You know, tawmez, the tawm means you're supposed to taste the Shabbos food. That means the food that you're actually going to eat, you're supposed to taste it, right? So it's not the only swar, but one of the swars is you taste in order to see whether it's good. So now you're having a totally separate chalin, a totally separate thing. It's not ta'mel, call it something else. And now I fill myself up before Shabbos, and I'm and I'm uh and now I'm not gonna even have, I'm not saying it's bad to have a little bit of a taste before Shabbos. I was in Baltimore, maybe I said this before, uh the Silver Shul, Suburban Center, beautiful shul. They had, you know, 50, 60 people singing before Shabbos. Beautiful. A little naqhaim and a little cup, a little chilling off to the side. People took a little bit. Nice. That was a very muhbar way to do it. That person stuffs himself. You need better food than your wife's gonna give you. You come home, you're stuffed. A woman complained to my wife soon. It's like everything's like shallow should my house. Before Friday night, no one comes to Friday night, no one wants to eat because they all eat a toma. Shabbos, they for sure they don't want to eat because they fill themselves up with they fill themselves up with shallow with kiddish. That's a way to have Shabbos. I'm not even let's not even talk about the liquor. You're coming and you're drinking before Shabbos, you can't even concentrate in Davening. You don't know what you're saying, you're being inappropriate, and then you're gonna go home and that, and then and then but it won't bring a riot. It's called Toma. Look, you know, they did it at this convention. No one ever did these things 50 years ago. I'm not saying that a little bit of Tomah is not good, bad, etc. But and then you bring a proof. It has to be, and then no, and then and those, you know, the the boring it and that don't have toma, they're so messed up, they're they're lacking, and and and I heard this, I heard that. You bring rice. Look at what it is. Do you think that's what it's supposed to be? You're supposed to go into Shabbos full and not wanting to eat your shrimp. You by the way, there's a it there's a din not to be full in Arab Shabbos. It didn't exactly what exactly the din anymore after nine and a half hours. We're not talking halakh here. But you're not supposed to go, you're not supposed to you're supposed to come into Shabbos wanting to eat a little bit, not full of better food, and certainly not drunk. Khalila. Someone gets to this house, gets to someone gets to this house and his wife's embarrassed. Women are embarrassed sometimes from their husbands, the way they're they're acting. They have their sons-in-law over, their daughters in law over the husbands saying Narishkite, and then he brings a proof to it. Incredible. But that's so, but we all have that, right? This is this me, this helping me, this is helping me. And the reason we don't see it for what it is, right? Cut the chase, cut through the chase. The fluff is the it's a hard is what's stopping us from seeing things for what they are, from knowing this is good, that's bad. I'm just throwing out, I hope everybody preached, I'm just throwing out examples that everybody has to judge in their life, their situation, what's right, what's wrong with me, I need my just talking in a strong way to get across the point. Believe me, I need this Muslim more than everybody. But but to see and to know and to understand and to realize. So, so again, like we said many times, the what what he's what he's laying down for us is here is taking a um a divert, not really diversion, but he's explained this a lot this idea that the Moshal were the ones who had to see this point, because when you're not Moshal, the Hoshik of Olamhaza covers our eyes, doesn't let us see things for what they are, and we're in a difficult and dangerous position. And Hashem will help us.