#50 - Addendum to Perek Gimel G - Mesilas Yesharim Explained

In two short sessions a week Rabbi Dovid Schoonmaker will elucidate and bring to life the eternal words of the Mesilas Yesharim. Rabbi Dovid Schoonmaker is the Rosh Yeshivah of Shapell's / Yeshivas Darche Noam in Yerushalaim.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:09

As I like to do, sometimes I jumped into the Missile Sharm project of uh Missile Sharm Explained and have it all worked out in my head how many sessions there are going to be, how long in each peric for sure, definitely not. Um, and one of the nice things I found as I've continued this process is the idea of addendums to the peric. That there's so many ideas that are touched on in the parak, but then, and as you're going, I don't want to take too long uh on any one divergent topic or even central topic. Want to stay true to what the Ms. Charm is writing about and feel like we're learning his words. I think I might have mentioned this once. There was a certain very big goon. Well, I'll leave remain nameless, but he was giving a shear on um parsia sashavua, but um on Nefeshekhaim, excuse me, on Nef Shakhaim, but one of the jokesters in the shear said, really, it was a shear on Telem Elochim in Parshis Ashivua and Moade Ashana. Meaning this Gon who was uh really a true Gon and a huge person. So the Nefjechim is more just the springboard to speak about the idea of Telem Elohim, which is a central topic in Nev Shekhaim. We went together in Nep Shekhaim one time. I have to learn it myself again, but but um and then he would speak about how that relates to the parsida shavu and how it relates to whatever Moid is coming up and Rosh Kodish, etc. And they would veer very far from the text. So I'm trying not to veer too far from the text, but um definitely the way I uh at least what the way I like to teach and give things over is to bring out the ideas and touch upon these and make the and maybe mostly make the ideas practical to for Topshan Pavov in 2026, um, which I think is so important because of the gap that we will speak about and we'll speak about right now between where the Ms. Charm is and where we are. And um, so we learned in the we're not finished with Zaherus, not by a long shot. We learned what Zahiris was, then we had Khalakia's hearus, Barry Gimmel. So the dental I want to talk to you now is just practically how to do a Heshman and Nefesh, which I think is so important because he's pushing it so hard to do it, and of course, everything he says is true. I think we can say like this the Silasharm has an incredibly high bar, which makes sense. This is Ms. Sharm. I mean, this is the way to get to what are we trying to get to in the end? This is it. I mean, this is it. You follow this book, you're gonna get there. So I think when we think about that, and we don't have too many friends who are saying that are Mikhail Masim. So we realize he's uh shooting incredibly high. Of course, it's super relevant to us still, as we've seen and we see, and you know, the popularity of the safer is incredible across the spectrum of Giddin and yeshivas and army bases, uh, men, women, teenagers, seniors, amazing, right? But our job a little bit is to bring it down. So that's what I want to do here. So let's think about some of the ideas he showed us. A person has to have a clear idea of what's good and judge's actions against that. That is such a slam dunk idea, right? If I don't have that, but now really what he drives for is a person should be making a Keshman Nefish every day. And I think I mentioned there were those that did it, my Rebbe's father, means like Blahman. I remember Blahman mentioning that my father would do a Keshman Nefish every single night. We know it's Sadekin that do that, did that. Incredible, incredible. But I don't think that's gonna be practical for a lot of people. And in the Mesil Sheng world, it's world for good reasons, it's shows and it's kfiyas, it's it's ours. Now, we take that to our lives and our bandwidth, and on one level, just practically our time constraints. For a lot of us, that's not realistic. Again, I never want to take away for the person who is that's realistic of you, Ashri Kal Kekha, Givaldi, go with it, stay with it. You can get far. Try this, follow Ms. Roman to a tea. But for the many of us that that's not realistic, I want to share a few A's. And one is like this let's start with five minutes a week. If this is so important, we can start with five minutes a week. Does that ring true? Are we down for that? Five minutes a week. I mean five minutes out of a whole week, 24 hours times seven is a lot. I think 148. Uh no, no, no, no, seven, twenty uh one sixty-eight, right? Divided by twelve, one sixty eight times twelve is a lot. And so just one out of uh over a thousandth of a 0.1.08% or something like that of our week, five minutes if we can spend on Hashman Nefush, it's gonna make a big difference. Now, let's say you're bought in for five minutes and someone who can do 10 minutes or 15 minutes a week, Ashri Helko. But let's let's say we start with five. I think that's a good small number. How do you make sure? It has to be McVeus. If you just say, well, when I happen to have five minutes, you're not gonna find those five minutes. I think we all understand that. Now you say, but oh, I tried it for two weeks like that, I did find it. Okay, you add a lucky two weeks, but life gets busy and you go, etc. So you have to find a set time. How do you find a set time? I find often the good way to have a set time is next to tfilos, next to dabing for men. I can't speak to women about this because I know women dab, but in a different way. So, but when a person's a minion, you have the times when you're dawning, rushing out to work afterwards, rushing to colour, rushing to learning afterwards, rushing to teach afterwards, etc. That might not be a good time, but there are times. It could be Friday, it could be Shabbos, it could be Sunday morning, depending on where you are in the globe, et cetera. That there are times, usually during the week, when it's a little slower than you can have the five minutes. So that's a great time. It could be after minical, it could be after Marv, it could be before minical, it could be Marv. But you know, often as they talk about in the book, habits habit uh atomic habits, something called habit stacking, right? Dobbin for us is like a habit because it's something we do all the time. Hopefully, you don't dob it habitually, but uh the idea of it's qit is habitual. So it's a good thing when you have one habit which is very strong to you to tack on another thing. So find something in your life which is very, very set and tack on to it five minutes first, okay? That's find the time. Second thing is those five minutes have to be very, very sacrosanct, very quiet. If you if you're carrying your phone, I'm a big fan of not carrying my phone everywhere, so this doesn't always work for me. But I think it's good to obviously it's good to turn off your phone because if you're gonna be answering texts and phone and thinking about the fact that your text might it's not quiet time as you guys we get the cloch cane for Dobbining, right? We should have our phones off side point. So you have the five minutes, clean five minutes. And if you have a phone, it's nice to set an alarm. I find that works really well because especially with something you're not used to, you start looking at your watch, you're like, oh, did the five minutes pass yet? Did the five minutes pass yet? The five minutes pass yet. If you set an alarm, then you know it hasn't passed yet, and you'll know when you hit five minutes. So that's a good thing. If you have uh if you don't have your phone and have a watch that has an alarm, you can send an alarm like that. But that's very good. But the five minutes has to five minutes has to be set and has to be clean. Okay, those are two things. Now, when a person is gonna start thinking about themselves, most of us, I know me, you start to realize it's just bad news, right? Well, let's start with how we wake up. Uh so Modani. Modani is a thing. How'd I say Modani? Amunaseta. Oh, sorry, I have to change the way I do that. Okay, good. Now what? Then I'm cranking with my wife. I wake up, I'm groggy, cranking with my wife. Good. Uh wash my hands. I don't wash my hands so well. How are you supposed to what's the order of washing your hands again? And oh uh, which way do you put on your shoes, your socks? And now what am I allowed to do before divening? Oh, I forgot. Uh I snoozed too many times. I came late to Davening, and then I was a little sleeping for Davening, etc. So you're gonna see a lot of things that come up, right? That was just the first 15 minutes of our day. There's a lot of potential for things that are messed up. Now, if we engage in it like that, we're soon gonna fall off it because one, it's not enjoyable, two, it's just too much for us to handle, right? We don't have the bandwidth to handle that. So you have to not get down if you want to engage in this. Because if you get down, you're gonna throw it off. And you have to look for a term we've used before, I believe, but it's such a super term in Novoda, which is called low-hanging fruits. As you go through your day, you can think and find things that you're doing incorrectly, and they're things which are a lot easier for you to fix. They're things which are very, very basic to us, right? Those of us who have weight problems, it's a real challenge to not eat too much. So if you're doing a strong Kashmir never, you have to deal with that. I'm not saying that to deal with that, but in terms of the Hashmanj, that's something that's gonna throw it off, right? Coming late to the opening for a lot of people is a very, very, but there are things which just, you know, I just lost frame. What is the Torah wan for me? I have to speak to my wife in a more patient way. I have to speak to my husband in a more patient way. I have to keep the house cleaner for my husband, I have to do my chores as the husband, I have to keep each one at his part, etc. I'm not getting into how to run your houses. That, you know, keep it moving and keep it positive. That's that's what I'm trying to get to. Keep it moving and keep it positive, not getting down. Look for the easy fixes, low floor hangfruits. You can note things that you discover. Wow, I thought my divinity was really good. When I start to analyze it a little bit, I see it's not. I want to find a time to improve my divinity. You maybe note that digitally or on paper. For those of us who remember things well, it could be mentally. I usually don't remember things so well mentally, so I try to carry a paddle around. But you know, know things keep it positive. Okay, and then you start to fix things. So those are some of the eightzas that I wanted to give. Uh, maybe we'll have another session about this, but the the idea is practical and afrash, bring and fish in after all the Ms. Sharm has told us and how this is the thing. Bona Khashwa Keshbono Shalolam, what was the Aitza Mitas that they told us? This is the Aitza Mitas. Zel, this is what you gotta do. So I think it behooves us before we continue, Ms. Sharm, to start those who have better Aitsas and do it more. Then I said, Matomanaim, I'm only I'm only here to spark things and start them off. Five minutes a week, I think is if you're if you're listening to uh Ms. Sharm Explained for 30 minutes a week or 35 or 40 minutes a week, you can take five minutes, listen to a little bit less of Mr. Hasharm Explained, and spend five minutes on Keshman and Efish. Call Code. All the best.