Let’s just say it: writing sex scenes is weird… until it’s not.

In this episode of Margs & Manuscripts, we sit down with author Susan Ferber to talk about how to write sex scenes, why they matter in storytelling, and what separates a good scene from one that completely pulls the reader out.

This isn’t a “how spicy should your book be” conversation. It’s about craft—how intimacy functions in a story, how to write scenes that actually move the plot forward, and why sex scenes should be treated like any other scene in your book.

We get into the nuance of writing desire, tension, and connection—without overexplaining, overdescribing, or making your reader cringe. From dialogue-driven intimacy to the power of what you don’t show on the page, this episode breaks down what actually works.

We also talk about the bigger conversation around women writing sex, the double standard around “smut,” and why stories centered on female desire are still treated differently in publishing.

If you’ve ever wondered:

• Do I need a sex scene in my book?
• How explicit is too explicit?
• Why do some scenes feel natural and others feel… off?

This one’s for you.

What We Cover

•  How to write sex scenes that feel natural and not forced 
•  Why sex scenes should function like any other scene in your story 
•  Writing intimacy through dialogue vs description 
•  How much detail is actually necessary (and when less is more) 
•  The role of tension, power, and emotional stakes in intimate scenes 
•  “Spice” vs “smut” vs storytelling—what’s the difference? 
•  Do you need to show consent and protection on the page? 
•  Writing awkward vs polished intimacy (and why both can work) 
•  What makes a sex scene cringe vs compelling 
•  The double standard around women writing sex 
•  Why romance and intimacy are often labeled as “lesser” 
•  How reader imagination plays a role in writing intimacy 
•  Whether a book needs a sex scene at all

About Susan Ferber

Susan Ferber is the author of The Essence of an Hour and We Were Very Merry, with her third novel What Other Years Have Done releasing September 2026.

Her work explores female identity, women’s relationships, and the complexities of love, desire, and power across time. She is particularly interested in how stories set in the past can shape our understanding of women’s rights today.

Susan is also a book editor and currently lives in London with her husband—yes, very much a romance novel setup.

Listen + Follow

If you liked this episode, make sure to follow Margs & Manuscripts wherever you listen to podcasts and check out our full episode library on our website.

You can also shop books from our featured authors (including Susan!) through our Bookshop—supporting both indie bookstores and the writers we love.

Let’s Talk

What’s your biggest pet peeve when reading sex scenes? Drop it in the comments or DM us—we’re dying to know.