Grief, Growth & Letting Go of Being ‘Strong' | Q1 2026 Recap

Spring feels like a new beginning—and for us, this first quarter has been exactly that. From ice storms and long airport lines to launching new businesses, stepping into therapy, and navigating unexpected loss, this season has stretched us in ways we didn’t see coming.

In this episode, we reflect on what it means to truly be strong—not by holding everything together, but by letting the right things fall apart. We talk about grief, growth, marriage, vulnerability, and how God meets us in both the highs and the lows.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re in a season of stretching, this one’s for you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Poured Hearts podcast where spring has sprung. Chanley, you were saying that April is actually like the new year.

SPEAKER_02 0:08

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 0:09

And some girl just told you that. I feel like I've heard that too.

SPEAKER_02 0:12

Like it's a Yeah, I mean it makes sense. Even my chiropractor was she was like, it's spring. Are you deming cat cow? You need to make sure you're moving your body. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 0:21

It's a sort of thing.

SPEAKER_02 0:22

You know, put the yoga like in your back, like then look like a cat. Like this. Exactly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:29

It's very alluring when you it's very attractive.

SPEAKER_02 0:34

But it's like, you know, it's like spring is sprung.

SPEAKER_03 0:36

Like uh flowers are blooming, your hair is getting thicker, skin's getting good. Exactly. Yeah. Allergies suck, but everything's bright.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

I guess I mean that makes sense over here, like because Tennessee actually get all the seasons.

SPEAKER_02 0:50

Right. You know, so it feels weird to start a new like a new year when it's like frigid outside. Yeah. Everything's done.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

Spring equinox, March 20th and 21st, is known as like the beginning of the new year in some ancient calendars.

SPEAKER_01 1:06

Yeah, because I know March 20th is like the first day of spring. So maybe that's like one and the same.

SPEAKER_03 1:12

Well, happy new year. Happy New Year, everybody. How's the Americ how's the first quarter of the American New Year been for you?

SPEAKER_01 1:18

The American New Year.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

Also, as we go on, everybody put their phones on airplane mode. Sometimes we get little buzzies.

SPEAKER_03 1:24

I don't know where my mine's over there. Do I still need to?

SPEAKER_00 1:28

No, if it's far away, no.

SPEAKER_03 1:29

Do you ever think that the plane was gonna blow up if you didn't put your back?

SPEAKER_00 1:33

I was always a skeptic for that. I still don't know why they have it. I do. So it's um they want people to be off their phones and focused during takeoff and landing specifically. And that's why you're not allowed to have like your tablets out, or you can't have your tablets, you can't have your laptop until the main thing to 10,000 feet. And that's just because they want everybody to be aware during takeoff.

SPEAKER_03 2:00

I'm gonna start saying that around here during work hours. Put your phones in airplane mode.

SPEAKER_00 2:05

For open.

SPEAKER_03 2:06

For your whole shift. Stay aware. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

Yeah, I always thought it had to do with the radars, like not messing with uh pilots' radars or something.

SPEAKER_02 2:14

You would think so, but no, it's it's literally just because if it actually did mess with the radars, we'd be screwed. Yeah, like we'd like to.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Yeah, it's like I feel like something would have happened by now if it was that serious.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

Speaking of planes, I had probably the the longest line I've ever seen anywhere I was in uh in Atlanta.

SPEAKER_03 2:43

It was on the news.

SPEAKER_00 2:45

There were news cameras there.

SPEAKER_03 2:47

Atlanta particularly was on the news. Oh, you were in Atlanta?

SPEAKER_00 2:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:51

Well, it was like it was like one of the main news articles in Fox News.

SPEAKER_00 2:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:56

The Atlanta line.

SPEAKER_00 2:57

Yeah. I was there, and it was unlike anything I've ever seen. They started like the T I was in the TSA pre-check line. Like I didn't even have to check a bag. The the line to check bags was crazy. And then the general boarding line through TSA was crazy. I was in the shortest, quickest line. There were probably 1,500 to 2,000 people in front of me.

SPEAKER_01 3:25

My gosh. Why was it line?

SPEAKER_00 3:26

That's a line. I guess TSA agents aren't getting paid. Oh. And so they just don't show up. That whole thing. And it's like they're just not enough people. And I got there at 5 10 a.m. and it was I it was unbelievable. But I got through in two hours, and I can't believe it only took two hours. It looked like it was gonna take six. Yeah. But we were moving pretty fast. That was pre-check. That was bananas. That was pre-check.

SPEAKER_03 3:58

So are people missing flights because of this? Yes. Yes. Well, I I heard, I think you told me that this happened to him. Yeah, probably it was a dream.

SPEAKER_01 4:07

If I'm if I'm knowing I have TSA pre-check, I'm not thinking it's gonna take me two hours to get through there. So I'm gonna show up.

SPEAKER_00 4:13

And I almost because I knew that people were saying that one day it's some one day it's fine, the next day it's awful. And I was like, man, I really don't want to wake up. Because I was supposed to fly home the night before, and the flight got, it was a connecting flight, and the flight got canceled. And so then I'd have to wake up in the morning and go, and I was like, I already like I want to get as much sleep as I can. I don't want to get there at five because my flights hit 8 30. Yeah. I can probably get there at 7 and be fine. But if it's as bad as they say it is, that's not okay, so fine. I'll get there at 5. And I did, and oh my gosh, thank goodness I did. Yeah. Were you grumpy? No. I just read, I got a Kindle app on my phone. I read for two hours. Yeah. I just completely read through. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:04

I see that's how I feel about the airport. Like, I'd rather be tired at the airport than miss like a fight and deal with that whole like, am I there on time? Like, let me just get there and then I can rest when I'm there.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

I'd rather be tired with zero stress than a little less tired. Because you're probably waking up early no matter what. Yeah. And then stressed as well.

SPEAKER_01 5:22

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:25

Well, that's hopefully that changes. Supposedly, Trump did some sort of emergency thingy to get them to get paid.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

I'd rather they weren't. That's weird.

unknown 5:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:37

Okay. First quarter. First quarter of the year. How's it going?

SPEAKER_02 5:45

We shouldn't save that till last.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

Okay, you go.

SPEAKER_03 5:50

Um, it's been wild. Um it's been wild. Anthony came home from prison. Just kidding. Cut a case. From the army thing. Then we're opening up our second shop. Oh, we all went through the ice storm. That was um that was even that's for all of us, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:14

Did you guys lose power?

SPEAKER_01 6:15

Yeah. We we did the house we lost for a couple days here for like a day.

SPEAKER_03 6:20

Sunday, which is when we're closed. We spent a lot of time here, so that was great. We took we benefited from it actually here. Oh yeah, I bet. I have an adult child now. We have an adult child.

SPEAKER_01 6:33

Yeah, Valentine's 18.

SPEAKER_00 6:36

They didn't just gain like staying a child that stayed. Just adopt an 18-year-old. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

Their child became adult, but still stay away.

SPEAKER_03 6:48

That's all I really have. I mean, we started therapy. We're in marriage. We're in therapy now, which is great.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Um you said that we're opening a second shop.

SPEAKER_03 6:58

Opening a second shop, and is that like public? No.

SPEAKER_01 7:02

Now it is because we just signed the lease two days ago.

SPEAKER_03 7:06

Well, that's only because we just all decided to schedule a sit-down. It was gonna happen in the Well, it's official now though, because we signed the lease. People have been walking up to us. Oh, I hear you open a shop. I'm like, how did you know that? So slowly but surely. But that's probably the lowest best thing that's happened so far. What about you?

SPEAKER_00 7:24

Well, what's the talk about the second shop? So you you guys are opening a second shop where?

SPEAKER_03 7:30

Um 31 and 25.

SPEAKER_01 7:32

So the address is cross plains.

SPEAKER_03 7:34

Yeah, it's considered cross plains, but it's about four or five miles up by Sad Sam's. So that'll be an interesting Everybody knows Sad Sam's.

SPEAKER_01 7:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:45

Yeah, that'll be it's an interesting location, but it's also It's the beginning. Same name, same brand, same same brand, different. It's like the twin sister of here. Okay. Still trying to figure these things out, but it'll be like um the twin sister.

SPEAKER_01 8:01

It's a different name.

SPEAKER_03 8:02

Reverie, yeah. The rev it's not the it'll be Reverie Coffee House. I love that. It's a great name. Thank you. And then yeah, we're still I have visions and all that in my mind, but um I'm kind of at a creative block. And I'm just enjoying that for now. And because when it comes, it's pause. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

Are you feeling like the same like color palette as fellowship and stuff, or like totally different vibe? Heck no, it's gonna be a lot lighter.

SPEAKER_03 8:32

This is dark. I love it. Yeah, I know, but to be in it for eight hours, five days a week, you know, it's well.

SPEAKER_01 8:40

This one's supposed to be more like masculine, the other one's gonna be more a little more feminine.

SPEAKER_03 8:44

Like French country. French country.

SPEAKER_01 8:47

I think of like royalty when I've when I imagine it, like um yeah, like royalty. Like gold and light green and some hints of purple in there. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 9:02

Like royal purples, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:04

Oh, I can't wait. It's gonna look great because you guys are really good at that. And I just have I'm I'm not, I just have no idea what you guys can say any color. I'm like, cool.

SPEAKER_01 9:13

Yeah, I don't I don't know either. Lindsay does it all.

SPEAKER_03 9:15

You know, when we when we first opened up this place, I wanted to keep it all a secret. Well, I am still keeping things to myself now. I really don't have much more to say, but like you don't want too many um hands on the page. Yeah, and things like that. Because it's such like a it's such a delicate place to keep a creative idea because it's still, you know, I mean you would know. But it's and I was just telling Chan the other day, it's like a baby and you're creating it, it's in your room, it's in a baby, like don't touch it, you know. Then also you want it to be a surprise and you want to see natural reactions and because that's real feedback, you know.

SPEAKER_01 9:57

I feel like it's kind of like when you when you're going through baby names.

SPEAKER_03 10:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:01

You're like, you got any names, and you start going through and you feel the judgment of the names, like that's a stupid name. But then when you already have the baby, when the baby is born, and you say, like, oh, here is, and then you say the baby's name, like well now. You can't have that same judgment on the name because it's already decided on. Yeah, so true. I think it's like that.

SPEAKER_03 10:19

We did keep this place, only a few people knew RDAs were and things like that. But I was intentional with not sharing too much. And then, yeah, there's something about that feeling. It's like releasing a new song and seeing how people act, or you know, or when people come into your open homes and you know, yeah. You know that if you help them create that and they get and they and it worked, then you're like, yes, it worked, you know. Totally, yes.

SPEAKER_01 10:45

So here give me an analogy. Because Clark has his music, Shannon has her song. What's mine?

SPEAKER_03 10:52

Well, when you create budgets and financial plans for people and it works, you're like, Yes, it worked for them, you know.

SPEAKER_01 10:59

But what about before that? I don't know. That's why I wanted it, because I know it's gonna be hard.

SPEAKER_03 11:05

Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_01 11:07

I don't have, yeah. You're too smart for me. It just doesn't apply.

SPEAKER_03 11:12

Um that's what I'll what do you have? How was your first quarter?

SPEAKER_01 11:17

Um, I feel like January didn't even happen because I got home the second, well, the like the last week of it, and then as soon as I got here, we had the ice storm. So January didn't count. But I'm glad to be home. Um February was short, but it's been what did we say? I think February. Yeah, on the 21st was 30 days since I came home, and it felt like I was home for like two months.

SPEAKER_04 11:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:44

Because so much happened just in that 30 days that it didn't feel like 30 days had passed. And that's what I was telling her before was like the time over here um is like regular, but like during training and stuff, time stands still. So it felt like that five months I was gone felt way longer than that. Um we started therapy. What else? Oh my financial coaching um business has gotten better, it's got more clients, um, yeah, things have just been picking up, taking it more serious.

SPEAKER_00 12:22

And what are you doing with those clients?

SPEAKER_01 12:25

Um working with small business owners or individuals. Um I first I'll sit down with them, figure out what they need, you know, and then kind of take it from there instead of me kind of saying, like, here's everything I have to offer, because it's a long list, it's more like where are you at and what do you need? And then I'll tell you if I can help you or not. So some people are starting out with like they just want to start a business, they don't know how to do it, so I can help them start the business like on paper. Um, some people have a business, but they're struggling, they need to figure out like just to help me in every area possible with budgets or process improvement, um, software. Like, I don't I don't have software. Here's my business. How do I what what are your suggestions on how to get things more efficient using softwares and um invoicing and things like that? Um and then just straight up bookkeeping for other clients. Um I'll do debt management, budgets, debt consolidation, cash flows, financial planning, a lot of stuff. The only thing I can't do right now is investment advice, and that's just because I don't have my license. But that's one thing I'm studying for right now as well. Is my licenses so I can be a registered investment advisor.

SPEAKER_00 13:43

Sweet. Just handy dandy finance guy.

SPEAKER_01 13:48

Yeah, pretty much finance guy. Yeah, it's like you have like handyman who they're just like whatever you need, I'll just fix it. It's the same thing, but for money. While anything money. That's a great uh skill to have. Yeah, skill and right now. That's a great question to have you because it's tax season right now, like we got a little less than 20 days left of the tax season. Um, so I've been helping a few clients with you know, just getting their tax prep situated, the profit and loss statement generated, and just trying to help them get as much money back on their taxes as possible. So legally awesome, don't worry, yeah, legally, but yeah, so I've been staying busy for sure.

SPEAKER_03 14:33

What about you?

SPEAKER_00 14:34

Right. Um boy, what a what a start. I th I have a bunch of different things. My music stuff has never been fuller and more like as far as if you use busyness as a metric of success, I have never been this successful, never been this busy before. And then with many more things outside of just getting gigs booked, um we'll really be accelerating in the recording stuff. So with the label I'm signed with, we've got all the projects are starting to come out now, and then uh while they're slowly coming out, recording the next one. And then when that comes out, as that comes out, we'll be recording the next one. So I've got something coming out pretty almost every month for the next like two and a half years. Wow. Starting next month or in April. Starting in April, yeah. So that is happening, but then of course it's also the my calendar's never been as full, which is which is a good thing. Um I think someone asks, like, hey, when's your next available Sunday? And um, like a local church. And with local churches, it's not just when's the next Sunday I'm in town. For me, it has to be when's the next Sunday that I'm in town for two Sundays in a row. Because the one Sunday I'm home, we're gonna go to Jalen and I are gonna go to church, and I'm not gonna serve, I'm gonna we're just gonna go to church together. The next Sunday is like open to either serve at my church or sing at another local church or something like that. And the next time that happens right now is September, which is just like that's never been the case. Yeah. Someone was asking me like one's the next, and I was like, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 16:35

You booked out for six months.

SPEAKER_00 16:36

And that's been the case for like that conversation was had maybe a month and a half ago.

SPEAKER_03 16:41

So that's is this new for you then? Like to be busy like this?

SPEAKER_00 16:45

This much booked.

SPEAKER_03 16:46

So it's been new for both of you.

SPEAKER_00 16:49

Yeah. Um and I usually like I plan for this spring to be slow, because it usually that's like the slowest season, is really just January through April. And so I uh have gotten a lot of education jobs. So I'm a professor at the Belonging Co. College, I'm also a professor at Oaks College, which is a college out of Dallas. So I'm teaching like two theory classes just to make sure I've got something coming in. But that was with the idea that I wasn't gonna be booked very much. And starting like a week and a half ago, starting from that point to my birthday, I think we're home for a combined like five or six days, which is like six weeks of of time or more, actually, almost two months. So um that's been that's been really tough, but but good. Um and then a bunch of personal stuff happened. My mom got married um December 31st, and then her dad, my grandfather, went into the hospital like the day after we got home, um, which feels like a year ago, that we got my cousin, I keep my phone on airplane mode um at night, and then my mom was trying to call me because he was taken to the hospital, my grandfather's taken to the hospital, and then she had my cousin drive to my house, which is like 45 minutes away from him, and ring the doorbell, start knocking at like midnight, and we were asleep. Oh god, she was probably freaked out. That was wild.

SPEAKER_03 18:32

Like, why? Why was it wild?

SPEAKER_01 18:34

Like you not especially somebody at your door.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

I mean, we're out in the country, nobody knocks at our door like ever. Yeah. Um doorbell and like my cousin like saying, like, hey, Papa Ray's in the hospital. It's what he calls him, Papa Ray. Um, is in the hospital.

SPEAKER_03 18:51

Is your phone on DD?

SPEAKER_02 18:53

Um, you might I leave my phone. It's either dead at night or it's like in the living room somewhere. I don't know where it's at.

SPEAKER_03 18:58

No, we know who did not call it having a couple of things. Literally from like 7 p.m.

SPEAKER_02 19:02

till 6 a.m. You probably won't never hear from me.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

But um anyway, things seem to be okay. Like you like he went there and the doctor's like, yeah, he's responsive, like everything's okay. Um, it'll probably be uh discharged um tomorrow. We are gonna keep him overnight. And we were all like, oh wow, you're keeping him overnight, like, yeah, just to be safe. And he never left. Um two months later, uh, he passed away. So that was maybe a month ago. Um yeah, February 24th, I think, is when he died. So um that was tough for everybody involved. And his funeral was just a couple weekends ago, and I I was the one to officiate it, which was new last weekend. Um so that's that's been it's been a very eventful, very um perplexing month. And there's some other things too that have happened that you know we just be here all day to talk about all of them. But there's it's a it's a it's a lot of uh a lot of highs and a lot of like big whoa lows.

SPEAKER_01 20:21

Like off guard, like caught you off guard at times.

SPEAKER_00 20:24

For sure, yeah. Yeah. So it's like you know, on we go, but also been really careful to know how to grieve well. Because it's very easy to just brush it off and ignore it, and I don't want to do that. And I know it's it's not good to do that, and I've done that in the past, and I'm not gonna do that with this one. And of course, there's a balance of the world goes world keeps spinning and and you need to keep moving forward. Um and so I've been trying to figure that out a little bit, and when to be strong and when to be weak, you know, and be both is really important. So uh that's that's been probably the most eventful three months I've had in I don't know, maybe ever. Just with like big things happening. Yeah, back then.

SPEAKER_03 21:17

You guys are for sure being stretched.

SPEAKER_02 21:20

I totally feel that.

SPEAKER_03 21:21

Can't wait to see what sh comes out of it. Oh, cat dog.

SPEAKER_02 21:25

Whatever you call it, cat dog.

SPEAKER_01 21:30

That's a long dog.

SPEAKER_02 21:31

Wasn't that like a wasn't that like a kid's catchy show and I weird mortified?

SPEAKER_01 21:35

Yeah, it was weird. I didn't think nothing of it. I was young enough to wear it like, oh, this is um creative. Yeah. Yeah. And so like, yeah, I'd watch the show all the time and never thought nothing of it. If anything, it was like it made me want a dog. Because we always had cats. But yeah. That was your takeaway of the show. Yeah, pretty much.

SPEAKER_00 21:52

Made me want a dog.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

Well, I mean, what a time to go through all that because the winner, then you spring and you come out of it and it It's it helps the weather, I think, for sure.

SPEAKER_04 22:03

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 22:03

Yeah, it's really nice outside. It's been a dark season.

SPEAKER_03 22:08

Sorry to hear about your grandfather.

SPEAKER_01 22:10

Yeah, that's rough. Thanks.

SPEAKER_03 22:12

I'm interested though, maybe the next two seasons you can elaborate on what that I mean, episodes you can elaborate on what the difference of is when you said your morning is different from what it used to be. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:26

Yeah. She's open to like grief and being open to not be okay, which is such a cliche, but um especially as I don't know, my coping mechanism, the way that I serve people and my family through times like this in the past has always been be the strong one who everyone can lean on, and that is fulfilling. Um but it's also it can very quickly be unhealthy.

SPEAKER_03 22:55

Yeah, because you want to empty out when you're mourning. So to be the one that you're taking in, it's like you know, when you're supposed to be emptying out.

SPEAKER_00 23:04

So And I like there are times to do it, like the funeral. Uh program started. Um, okay, now it's your turn to like officiate. Like that's the time. Like you To turn it on. Yeah, like you muscle through. Yeah. Yeah. And like do a service um for for your grandfather, you know, for him, in a way that he would be proud, in a way that will help other people have closure and mourn. That's the time. And still open and you know, like don't become a robot. Right. Um but like soldier on in that time. And then other times, I don't know. I've also found like when people are hurting, sometimes they don't it's not helpful for you to be strong. It's helpful for you to be honest and vulnerable and weak. And then that can even give them strength, which has been very interesting to learn.

SPEAKER_03 24:00

I need to learn more of that.

SPEAKER_01 24:01

Yeah, I'm curious because I've never had that experience.

SPEAKER_00 24:04

Yeah, I teach us.

SPEAKER_01 24:06

I'll tell you, so okay, so well no, like we're yeah, it's just always been if when you're honest, then it's just like always a fight or something. Like it's never it's never been good.

SPEAKER_00 24:17

So it's always just like well I mean by honest as in like, I mean, the other day, um I was in here and I was getting like beans or something, and you asked, um, Lindsay, for people who can't see who I'm looking at, um, how are you? And I I've always been honest with that question, and I've almost always, always said, good or great, or living the dream, or something like that. And I was just really down. And you said, How are you? I said, Not very good. And I almost burst into tears right there.

SPEAKER_03 24:51

I can tell.

SPEAKER_00 24:52

And I think there's something really um powerful when you say the truth that hasn't been said, like that's usually a trigger for tears, you know? Um anyway, I said, not very well. And we talked a little bit about it, and then um that night I went to acting class, same thing. Teacher's like, How are you doing? It's like how we start the class. And I said, not very well. And I talked about that, and I hadn't seen Chanley since like those interactions with you and then class. And the next morning I was like, I almost feel like I'm hiding something from her if I don't tell her like I'm not doing well, because I've told you and I've told other people, and she doesn't know like this feels wrong. And so we were sitting there in in the morning, and and you weren't having a great morning either. You were kind of hurt and had a bit of a headache and were worried about some things, and we were talking through it, and and then finally when we got to a bit of a a neutral space where I feel like I could say something, I just said, Hey, I'm not doing very well. And in that moment, then she kind of had a can chime in anytime you want to better tell this story, but kind of a come to the rescue moment where she was able to be a wonderful wife, like she had the opportunity, like great, now I can be a wife to you, and I can take care of this of you in this moment. We can talk through this and I can help you. And when I'm just trying to be strong, I'm robbing her of that opportunity. She can't do a thing to help me because I'm fine, you know. And I really didn't think I would, but ended up just breaking down, and we were talking through a lot of stuff, and I was crying, and it was a beautiful moment. And the wild thing was in that moment where I'm usually feeling like I have to be strong when Chanley is not at a hundred percent, when I actually was honest and just fell through like the floor and was just breaking down, that like that triggered that love that she has for me, that compassion, and then that brought her up, which also brought me up. It was just a dynamic of that relationship dynamic, and I just never thought that that was even possible, and to witness it was uh very telling and yeah, a revelation.

SPEAKER_02 27:31

It was kind of a light bulb, I think, for me too, because growing up, like my parents got divorced when I was 13, and then just from then on, it was just really like I was missed independent. I took care of my siblings, I was like the perfect student, I started work at 15, I was my mom's therapist, like just all these things where I had to feel very like in control and the leader, and I always had to be fine. And then, like, and I even said this to you that day, like that afternoon. I was like, I'm having the best day I've had in like months. And even though I started off, you know, really rough that morning, like I was just like kicking butt all day. And I told Clark, I'm like, I feel like like I've you don't allow me to be strong, like not in like a misogynistic, but just like you're always like good and strong and like um optimistic. And so it doesn't really like give me opportunity to like step into strength. And that day that happened, and I think like a light bulb went off, and I was so grateful that you weren't like fearful to keep in your emotions when you saw me having a hard day because that gave me opportunity to like, like I said, step into like strength and leadership. Um, and it was awesome.

SPEAKER_00 28:48

Just so wild. That was just so well said and articulated what you just said. I mean, it still just hits me as like who would have thought like my I my whole upbringing, I think this is true for a lot of men, is well, if you're down in a hole, I can't go down there too. Or both in a hole. I have to be the strong one that is optimistic and cheery and muscling our way out and through, and and that's the way to get you out of this or to to to help you out of this this pit. It's just not true. And doing that, I mean giving her the opportunity to step into strength, like, oh my gosh, that's that makes so much sense, and it's so powerful. And um, I had a similar situation with my mom, and the exact same thing happened. Um so it's it's just kind of it's a paradigm shift for sure in my life. Interesting.

SPEAKER_03 29:44

When I when I did have that conversation with you and you walked away, I was like, there's Clark. Really? Like, there's some because you do have that um that you happy go lucky, you yeah, like you're you put together really well. And but you can be vulnerable and sad and still be put together too. But there was something extremely human. I remember that conversation you walked to, I was like, whoa, he is there's Clark, you know, but it was so refreshing. It's weird to hear, you know, to say that, but it was refreshing to see you that way. Because it has to be like a human, yeah. It has to be rest in a way like you can breathe, even though you feel like you're suffocating sometimes, like it could still almost be like, This is what it is. I can't help anybody, but I feel this way, you know, and just yeah, you are going through hell in a handbasket right now. I'm sorry, right, and you can't, you know, and it's but I don't know. The cool thing is that it changes people and it grows people, so and yeah, and I think it'll bring you closer to God's ear. Yeah, but that whole swap though of your interactions, that's really cool. That's interesting.

SPEAKER_01 30:58

Yeah, because yeah, it's yeah, I've yeah, haven't had that experience. It's usually like you said, the show, the show must go on, so like one of us has to keep it together and keep doing what needs to be done so the household keeps running. Go like go through it, feel what you gotta feel, but you know, time's taking, like, let's go. Yeah, I think it's both.

SPEAKER_00 31:17

I think it's like have the 20-minute conversation or the th or the hour conversation of where you're just in tears. And then, okay, now let's get moving. But we're not hiding anything. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_01 31:28

You know that show what shrinking? Mm-hmm. They do, because the the husband lost his wife and the daughter lost her mom, you know, same person, but they like they lost the same, they lost um someone that they loved, and in the show the daughter does like a hardcore 15-minute crying session every day. Like it's timed, you know, like her alarm goes off. It's like, oh, this is a time. Like I hardcore mourn for 15 minutes a day so that like she just gets through it, but it's like, here's my designated time to just feel it and get it out so that I can continue and move forward. I was like, I never heard of that before.

SPEAKER_03 32:05

That's wild.

SPEAKER_01 32:06

That was um that was interesting. I don't know if it's like a real thing people do, but it sounded real.

SPEAKER_03 32:10

I've heard, you know, give yourself time to mourn. Do you think that um being because I was we're kind of cut from the same cloth in that sense, which felt unnatural to me, raising siblings, being emotionally strong at 14, 15, like that's not what we were supposed to be doing. But we're not? No.

SPEAKER_04 32:32

I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_03 32:33

But do you think and so to us that was leadership? Yeah, right. But that was like an unwarranted and unwanted leadership. Yeah. But when the proper leadership as a woman is to help her husband and to be there for him, and then then all of a sudden now I feel like, yeah, this is helping me. This does make me feel like I'm in my proper wiring and I'm operating how I should be operating. So I could see how that strengthened her because that's how we're wired. We're helpers.

SPEAKER_02 33:01

Yeah, and it's like Proverbs 31, like talking about how the woman is like covering over her husband and like brings him honor. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:07

Like brings him honor.

SPEAKER_02 33:08

Like even though Clark's the head of the household, like he's covered by my he's covered by my covering through the Holy Spirit. And I'm covered by his covering.

SPEAKER_03 33:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:18

And like there is like this strength. It's like when you like, you know, like prop my feet up on the couch and give me a pillow and put a blanket over me, and he's like, Okay, like, can you go do this? And I'm like, I can't. Like, uh, my feet are up. Like, it's almost like I'm like disabled. Like, I don't know, like this image just came in my head of like, if I'm pampered so hard, how can I get up? How can I serve?

SPEAKER_01 33:43

You know, it's like do you as soon as you lay down. No, like it's just all you need to do is just sit down. Once she sits down, it's over.

SPEAKER_03 33:53

Yeah. But you also become his rib, and he can just now you've given him that posture to where he can be stronger because you've inserted yourself back into him. Right. Or you're you know, and then he's like, Yeah, that's right. Thank you, babe. You know, yeah, that's so true. So that's cool. That's really good. I like that. Yeah. So now we know what what Chanley needs, or like how Chanley gets you know her confidence and between you two. You know, that's like that's a that could be a weapon for you too. Help me, babe. You know? She's like, okay, sit down.

SPEAKER_00 34:30

It's great because it's like, yeah, I can call on that. Because there have been plenty of times where I've felt bad and like not great, and I've been like, I'm not trying to, she's not, you know, I I don't want to throw that on her right now. No.

SPEAKER_03 34:42

Don't you think though, as like an artist, though, that's necessary? Because you have to think creatively, and if you're stuffed, how can you get new ideas?

SPEAKER_00 34:52

Yeah, it's just where you put it. So I can put it in writing sessions.

SPEAKER_03 34:56

Okay. Or your wife.

SPEAKER_00 34:58

Or both, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:00

Or and yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:02

Conversations and with her, and and that's exactly how it should be. And I think really the lie that I believed was my duty as a husband to take care of her. Um, I did that by not burdening her with my stuff. And the reality is um I was stunting her growth as a wife. I was I was in uh disabling her ability to be what God has put her in my life to do. Yeah. So I was like, okay, great. I'll just let you know when I'm not doing well.

SPEAKER_03 35:33

Yeah. And you know, the truth is as wives, we know. Like we know when you're not when you're trying to be too strong, and when you're not like we just when you're off. Yeah, we want you to to let some of that go. Like you certainly have to have some, like, don't go crying for 10 days and you know, putting your pink robe on, obviously. But we had to go. Sorry, sorry. But like we still want you, we know when you're being when you're shoving things down and not letting it out and being vulnerable. So whether you you do it or not, like we carry that because and we're just like, well, when he's ready to talk about it, he will, and then time goes by and then it seeps out somewhere, or you know, so but yeah, well, interesting.

SPEAKER_00 36:24

Do you have any thoughts to wrap this up? We didn't get to your quarter.

SPEAKER_02 36:28

I can be quick. I turned 30. Let's go.

SPEAKER_00 36:31

Had a great 30th.

SPEAKER_02 36:34

I'm so sad you guys missed, which is it's fine. But it was it was so fun. Like, I've never felt so like loved on and celebrated. I just felt like I was turning like 10 again or something. Like we all dressed up. Yes, we had a cake, we had catering, we dressed up as like 90s, like throwback, we had friends and MTV Cribs playing, and it was so much fun. Um and so that was really, really great. And yeah, since then there's been a couple hard things, but like honestly, in the last two days, I've had a great perspective shift. Um, and Lindsay, you said this like in a voice message to me, but like you're 30, like you're being stretched, like and even the things that you said about like you're like you might be entering entering into a desert season, but don't get caught up like at like with the mirages. Like the mirages aren't real.

SPEAKER_04 37:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:24

And I think I was so like seeing these mirages of like, oh, my life is over, like, and I'm like, wake up, sister, like you're fine, like God is stretching you and use this ass opportunity. Like I was just a second ago um looking up Ephesians 5, 16 through 18. It says, take advantage of every opportunity because these times are evil. Don't be ignorant, but understand the Lord's will. Um, instead be filled with the Spirit in the following ways. And it reads on, but it's like really just like don't like take every opportunity of sadness or hardship or happiness, like learn to be content and whatever Paul says that, and take every opportunity to grow in the Lord, to understand the Lord's will, and to walk in it. Um and even though I am being stretched like this year, like I am finding that there is beauty in it. And if I can just push through, if I can just like check in with the Lord, exactly one step, like that's the desert.

SPEAKER_03 38:26

We kind of talked about that.

SPEAKER_01 38:27

We kind of talked about that today in church. It's like we're talking about Joseph and setbacks, equal opportunity to learn. Yeah, I remember when you were looking up the word mirage. Uh I didn't know that's why.

SPEAKER_03 38:40

Actually, it was that day. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because you create answers when you when you don't know where you're at, and there's nothing in front of you, and you're starving, and you're burning, and you're thirsty, and you're hungry, and you don't you kind of create answers yourself, you know. And that's a mirage, it's the same thing. Yeah, and the only thing you can do is just put one foot in front of the other. That's all. But that's and that's enough. That's enough.

SPEAKER_01 39:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:07

Yeah. Just one cat, one cow at a time. One cat dog at a time. First, we must cat dog.

SPEAKER_01 39:16

Well, that's a good wrap-up. Yeah. This uh 2026 quarter wrap-up.