SPEAKER_00 0:10

Welcome to the besties from the church. Yay! We're coming out of San Pablo Lutheran Church. My name is Vanessa. I'm Anne. And I'm Jasmine. And welcome to the Besties from the Church. Yay! So before we start off, let's go ahead and start off with a prayer, you guys. Um let's start with thank you, God, for everything that you have given us. Thank you for all our blessings. Thank you for letting us reunite again for this month. And please let us be able to speak clearly, speak with the honesty of your word and the truth of your word, and be able to reach out to our listeners. And hopefully we can help somebody out there, just like how my besties have helped me. Thank you, God. Amen. So today we're gonna be talking about roller coaster of emotions. And um I think I'm gonna leave our listeners with more um questions and answers answered. Um, it was really difficult for me to associate it to the Bible. So I was able to associate it to us as women to um the scientific part of it, you know? But then when it comes to the Bible, like I just could not resonate with it. Is that how you say it? Like I couldn't, like, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:45

I've I'm I'm just I'm kind of laughing at the scientific part of women's emotions.

SPEAKER_00 1:52

But yeah, and the part with like, oh, it's your hormones, or oh, it's like women are just overreacting. Like, you know, it's always like there's always a reason why we yeah, if it's not you're if you're not on your period, it's because somebody got you mad or because something you didn't have your coffee this morning, you know. Somebody look at you cross-eyed. I mean, if he's hot, it's okay, but he can wear glasses. I'll just move.

unknown 2:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

So as far as like Bible verses, I wasn't really able to like really, really grab one. I mean, there's I know there's like a ton out there with like anger, especially, because I think I struggle a lot with with anger, and I didn't realize until this past year. Um, and that's thanks to Miguel and my son, my 19-year-old Andres, that told me that you know, I flip the lib right away and like I my emotions, I let my emotions take control instead of me cooling down and then saying something, you know?

SPEAKER_01 3:04

Yeah, they get the best of you.

SPEAKER_00 3:06

Yeah, so I know there's a a verse that you know it just says, be slow to anger and um listen.

SPEAKER_02 3:18

Yeah, I think the listening part is the one that sometimes it's because we just I think, and I'm not gonna say women, I'm just gonna say people. You know, we're just sometimes sometimes it's just like we just react to stuff and then we want answers right away. We don't want to wait, we don't want to cool down, and it's just yeah, that's when I think the situations turn bad.

SPEAKER_01 3:43

Oh, we have selective hearing. Or we have select yes you have a sentence and then there's a specific word that you don't like and you just focus on that, yeah, and you make it worse than what it is, yes, and take the conversation to a whole new level. I tend to do that a lot. I'm a very emotional girl, especially right now. Went through a lot of emotions.

SPEAKER_00 4:08

So that verse that I was talking about, I just want to be like give you guys the correct information and not the wrong one. Um, it's James chapter one, I believe it's verse 19. Um, be quick to listen and slow to speak and slow to anger, you know? So in other words, sometimes calladita más bonita, you know what we say in our culture, which is kind of disrespectful in a way, but it has some truth to it.

SPEAKER_02 4:38

Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's true.

SPEAKER_00 4:42

So, what that means for those that don't don't know Spanish is you look prettier quiet or when you're quiet. When you're quiet, you look prettier.

SPEAKER_01 4:52

I think that's uh what um Anne just did when I confessed a little bit of myself. And she just stayed quiet.

SPEAKER_00 5:01

I was eating, I was eating. Is that why she looks so hot? I was eating. So, yes, that that's what we're gonna be talking about today, is just the roller coaster. And you know, of course, like we just said, what society thinks of women, like with their emotions and all that. But the Bible, the Bible doesn't really it it speaks of all the emotions and that everybody's emotional, but it's not per gender. It's not all women are more emotional than men, and men are more emotional. Like everybody that has an issue or that praises God or that helps anybody else, their emotions are are done the same. Like everybody cries as hard as the men cry as hard as the women, the the men yell as hard as the as the women do, you know?

SPEAKER_02 5:54

Yeah, I think just the the gender roles of that just get, you know. I think it's easier just to pin it on, oh, you know, women are more emotional and men are more this, and you know, I think that's just the the human in the humanism in us that wants to assign that. But yeah, I mean in in the Bible it doesn't say, oh, women have no self-control and women are so emotional. Right. No, it just gives like, you know, in general. Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:23

I mean, it does say, and that's from the beginning, is that we were made differently as woman and man, and we were built differently for, you know, as a woman and as a man, we were built differently to do different things and to work differently, right? But emotionally, we were not built differently. Emotionally, we're still the same. Now, the way we handle it is different.

SPEAKER_02 6:50

I mean, with the stories that I've read, you know, women do I think men and women can be both as equally as dramatic and emotional, llorones yet there, it's it just depends on the person. It really does, you know. I mean, Michael cries all the time for stuff. It's one of the things I like about Michael. He cries about everything, you know. And I don't cry. I don't cry about stuff. So, you know, it's just it just it just depends, you know, on the person. So the individuality of everyone.

SPEAKER_01 7:33

Do you think also because of what you have gone through? Oh, yeah. You're that type of person that you don't cry. Oh yeah. And in your past, did you cry a lot where you when you were going through that rough patch?

SPEAKER_02 7:45

I always try to look at Michael because he'll tell me yes or no. I don't I think to certain people. I think I've always been the kind of person that doesn't like to cry in front of people. So I only cry in front of certain people.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

But did you cry a lot to that certain people?

SPEAKER_02 8:03

No, no, not really. I think because I've always come in like, don't be crying, don't be crying, you know? And so it's just that's just the way that it's been.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

Okay, the reason why I asked you because you you probably put the stop. You're like, like you just said, don't don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. And other people, why they don't cry, because they already cried what they needed to cry. And that's why they don't cry. Because it happened to me for a while. I cried so much when I was going through that path with my fiance, going through a lot of roller coasters until they one day said, you know what? I'm not gonna cry anymore. But then I went back with a chiona, you know. But I think that's sometimes why other people say, Oh, well, I don't cry for this. Maybe something happened to you. Or maybe you're just a cold-hearted person.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

Maybe you know what I people do say that about I don't want to be a burden on other people, yeah. You know, so I just rather just keep it to myself.

SPEAKER_02 9:06

Even with my most closest people, which are Miguel Maritza, like even with them, sometimes it's hard to because I don't want to bother people with my stuff.

SPEAKER_00 9:19

I was just thinking about them last week because I was like, you know, I talk about my husband, I talk about like me going through certain things, and like I just like sometimes I feel like maybe I'm being too much, maybe I'm saying too much, maybe I'm like just being too much, you know? And I'm like, not once have I really like heard them complain. Like they're always just so happy, and maybe that's why like you think like I don't want to bring down their their boot. They're happy, so I'm not gonna bring down their boot.

SPEAKER_02 9:51

It's you know, I mean, they're I mean, Miguel Maritza, and I feel weird because Michael's right here and Marito's probably gonna hear this later. But you know, because they just don't have a mic to be able to say it. But you know, they're just like the rest of us, they're normal people too. You know, they go through their stuff, you know, and I I think that um we we, and and and I do say we like because it's we've been a trio for so long. Um we just don't like to let ourselves get down.

SPEAKER_00 10:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:30

And we're very positive with each other. And if one of us is being like negative, we're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like don't don't be saying that, you know, like like we we we don't let ourselves go there. Um and that's just the way that it is, you know. That's why we we we're very selective about the people that we have around us because we do like that positive energy. We don't like it negative energy. And so, but no, they're they're normal people, they get back to you. They know how they're so negative. I just don't see it. You just give them when they're playing Minecraft.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

I know that's when the truth comes down, I think that's why I like to come and talk to obviously to my besties from the church, and I also like to talk to Marisa and Miguel. I also have a selective people of who I could go because first of all, I know that they won't judge me. Yeah. You know? That's like the main reason why I could come and talk to you girls and say my my deepest and darkest secrets. No. Anything like that. Um, and then the other reason why I come and talk to you is because sometimes I feel lost.

SPEAKER_02 11:48

And I think that's that's very normal. You know, like I don't want people to think that just because we are, we try and live a faith-centered life, you know, we that we don't have problems. Right. We do, you know, we're normal human beings. We get angry, we get sad, we get emotional, we get mad, we want to, you know, tell off the person that cut us off. Like we are not perfect by any means. And so, yeah, we we have our own problems too. And you know, just because we are on a faith journey doesn't mean that we stray from it sometimes, right? You know, and that God knows that we are, you know, God knows that we're gonna stray from it. But the important thing is to come back, you know, to come back to that faith-centered life. Um and the only people person being that can judge us is God, you know, because I can't judge you. Your cross is different than my cross, but we both bear one, you know. So there's no, oh my gosh, you did this, and oh my gosh, you did it. Yay, no, mira lay, I wakalas. Like, no, I wakalas, yeah. Like, no, it's yeah, all of us carry a cross, it's just a different one.

SPEAKER_01 13:18

You know, be like, uh, but I'm not perfect.

SPEAKER_02 13:21

Right, you know, and that's yeah, exactly. Like, we're not perfect, we sin just like everybody else does, you know.

SPEAKER_00 13:27

I I think I I've gotten that too. Not from a lot of people, thank God. Um, but I have got it, oh now you're going to church. Now, like, why are you going to concerts or why are you drinking a beer or why are you doing this? And it's like, well, because I can read the Bible.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

Because I talk to God and we had that deep conversation.

SPEAKER_00 13:50

And I do get it here and there, but not like a lot. And I guess maybe another thing is that like I don't speak about it around everybody, you know, and maybe that's my error too, that um I'm not really open about it either. Like, I I speak about it very like fluently with you guys. Um like at my when I get together with my family, if they ask me, I'll answer. But I dish, I just don't bring it up, you know?

SPEAKER_01 14:19

Me neither.

SPEAKER_00 14:20

Um what I do do is like in front of my kids, like I am like when something good happens, I'm like, oh, thank you, God. Even when something bad happens, I'm like, thank you, God. Even though it's it's not a good thing, but obviously it's a lesson that I need to learn. But other than that, like I and that's something that I do want to learn, like how to speak freely about it and not want like I don't know how to say it. Like not feel judged, I guess, or not.

SPEAKER_01 14:48

I think that is kind of the word, like judge. And the reason why, because I know that if you start talking, then when I see, uh, esta Santa, esta no sé nada, esta lo otro. I think because I I do that with my with my family and with uh Jose's family. Like I don't talk about it.

SPEAKER_03 15:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:07

Like, you know, I just say uh I go to church, but I'm not saying, oh, I'm doing this, this, this with the church because then I do something wrong.

unknown 15:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:19

I'm like, I just rather not hear it because they're in a state of mind that they do go to church and they still act the way they act. Yeah. You know what I mean? So I was like, Mira, mejor yo, called it, you know?

SPEAKER_00 15:35

That's still hard too. That's hard too, like coming to church and having knowing that there's certain things that you do in life and you do with yourself and you do with your children that you do have to change, you know, and that's a hard part too, is actually wanting to change and doing the change. It's a difficult thing to do, and especially like with me, with my anger. I never really cussed. I didn't cuss growing up because little girls don't cuss. Um, my family was really strict, they were just like my stepdad's family, they kind of did, but even then, like I just out of respect, like I just didn't feel comfortable cussing. Um, and then my husband was like, I felt free with my husband, and one day he was like, No, it doesn't look good on you. Like, so I always just watched myself, you know, and he that guy had a vulgar mouth, it wasn't even funny. Well, some no, it was funny, but he was just like something else, you know, like and when he died, it was just like all that anger came out, and I started cussing a lot, a lot, and that's a change that I noticed that like I didn't have, and because of my grief, I I got it. But now that I'm coming to church and I'm reading the Bible, it's like, oh, I need to change that because not only is it because I'm just cussing, but because I'm doing it towards my kids, and that's not right, you know? So now that I've I've really worked on it last week, I only said one cuss word when I got mad at Asudo. And it wasn't even towards her. It wasn't even towards her. It was just like a ah type thing, you know? And then like I caught myself, and then I I mean I still yelled, but I wasn't cussing. And then I went to my room and I was like, oh god, thank you. I didn't cuss at her.

SPEAKER_01 17:32

You know what I have noticed? I I cuss a lot, especially when I'm mad at the kids, not towards like them, like telling them, like, if you this enough you'll friki fri friki. Yeah.

unknown 17:43

Right.

SPEAKER_01 17:44

And this time that I get mad, I stutter. I stutter, and I can't even say the words. I guess because it's he's like, okay, love and love is enough, younger people. You're gonna stop. Yes, you're stopping. He has his hand on your mouth. And then the kid starts laughing at me because I'm stuttering at them, and I'm like, oh, that gets me more mad. I'm like, but hey, you know, every time that you say something, and I'm thinking about it, like, hmm, maybe that's what's happening to me.

SPEAKER_02 18:11

I've just always like Caleb obviously has heard me cuss, like, especially when I'm in the car. But but I I don't I don't curse at him. Yeah. Like, and because I I never want to allow that door to be open for that disrespect. Right. Um, and sometimes you like especially most of the time when I cuss, it's because I'm driving, y'all, okay? I know I have those road range. My road range.

SPEAKER_01 18:40

Um, and he'll be like, mommy, and I'm like, okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Can you guys talk to Jose about that? Because you know, he makes it a joke. You know, you guys know that he's always about jokes. So he's having he opened that door for the kids to be comfortable. But then I told him, when they're mad and they cuss at you and it hurts you, I don't want you to say nothing because you opened that door.

SPEAKER_00 19:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:06

And I just, I mean, I know that one day, you know, probably soon because we can't control who our kids are around when they're not with us. But you know, I just I want I wanted to teach Caleb, and I was like that with my nephews too. Like I would always tell them, like, don't cuss because it like it doesn't look good on people. Are going to judge you by what's coming out of your mouth. And what's coming out of your mouth, if it's that, that's not who you are. Right. But that's who people are gonna think you are. Yeah. And not that I mean, I I don't care what people think about me, but there are certain areas where it is important, you know, especially like in my professional life. Like I never cuss in front of my boss. I never, you know, like I like no. Um, and so that's what I want to teach my son is that, you know, it it is important what comes out of your mouth. And I don't want people to judge you because that's not who you are.

SPEAKER_00 20:00

And I think it's good, and I think you should continue that. Um, I regret ever opening that door. Like you said, like I do regret it. And honestly, like Caleb has a lot to do with me like really seeing it, that the fact that I thought it was just, you know, with me and within my home or my car, you know, like I I thought I've always said there's always a time and a place for everything, you know? And I guess I was getting a little bit too comfortable like around you guys, and I I would I wasn't even paying attention. Like, I would say certain words, and then Caleb was like, Vanessa, that's not a good word. And like it made me feel bad because I'm like, you know what? Like for this kid to call me out like that, and like for him to know better than me, like it just like it was like a really eye-opener to me that it was just like it's not I'm not paying attention to what I'm doing anymore. Like, I'm just and that's not right. Like, I can't just like sometimes like it's like you really do need to how do they say, like you are who you are, but at the same time, like it doesn't mean that you can disrespect people. And I felt like I was disrespecting him in that sense, even though he was very nice about it, like he wasn't rude about it, but you know, just the fact that I felt like I hurt him, like, really like oh man. Like, if he felt like that, like how do my kids feel? You know, and like the fact that my kids started feeling comfortable to like curse around me and my older kids didn't like it. They're like, hey, but because they were raised, like you don't speak around mom like that, you don't speak around your elders like that. So when they started doing it, I was that's when I was like, you know what, it's my fault because I started doing it.

SPEAKER_02 21:46

And also, I just don't want him to relate those words to like anger because we're gonna. I realizing this grade, he's he's gonna finish second grade and gonna go on to third. Like how. His emotions are changing. And so I don't want him to associate like the bad words with bad feelings. And so that when he does get angry, he's going to use those words that could end, like you say, eventually hurting someone for saying them. Yeah. And so that's what I don't want to do that either.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

Yeah, I think that's uh that's that's what happens with my daughter Imani. She cusses at her siblings when she's mad, but she doesn't do it in front of me. She does it when they're in the car, either going to school or coming back to school. And I did call her out. She said, like, well, Junior does that. And that's another thing. Like, I can't tell her anything because Junior did this. Like, no, we're talking about you. But, anyways. And she's like, Yeah, I'm but you're using it in a bad way. I'm not saying that using bad words is okay. But I'm like, but you use it out of anger. And you always do that when you're mad.

SPEAKER_00 22:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:54

And I guess they do see at the house. Because honestly, I do cuss in my house, especially when I'm like with Jose, where they're just playing around and we're talking or whatever. Maybe we should stop doing that too. You know? But whatever you do, whatever you say, whatever everything, the kids are gonna get it. They're sponges still. Yeah. You know, even though they're like teenagers, they're still gonna end up doing it. Yeah. And I do tell my kids, I'm like, I know that I cuss at home. I know I shouldn't be doing this, I know I shouldn't be yelling at you guys and everything. But also think about it. You guys are cussing in public, and other people, especially adults, hear you, what are they gonna think? Ah, but they start judging out the parents. In some way, somehow, I get it because they're hearing us, but then I'm like, so what are you gonna do when they start telling you stuff about me? Start disrespecting me because it's something that you open. Well, I'm not gonna like it. I'm like, well then don't do it.

SPEAKER_02 24:00

Don't do it in front of people. And that's so true because I can remember a thousand times where as just like at home, we live in an apartment and in front of us there's a family and they have little kids, maybe the same age as Caleb, a little bit older, maybe. And I swear, every single time that we get out of the car and they're all outside playing, those kids have the mouth of a sailor. You know? And I'm just like, and Caleb is like, Mom, can I want to go play with them? I'm like, nope.

SPEAKER_00 24:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:31

I'm like, nope, because no.

SPEAKER_00 24:33

Yeah, and it's gonna, those kids are not bad kids. Right. They're probably just like playing softball or something. Right. But the language does rub off. Right. It really does rub.

SPEAKER_02 24:42

And I mean, I remember I think we were in Colorado one time, and we were at a park, and there was a little girl. I she was smaller than Caleb. So I mean, Caleb at that time must have been like six. So maybe this little girl was like five. That was my chiquita for sure. And oh my gosh, she went off on her mom saying bad words. And I mean, bad words in Spanish always sound worse. You know, and so and so she was in, I was just like, oh my god. But then the mom was talking to her the exact same way. Yeah, and so that's what I don't want. I don't want to open that door, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:20

I think you're doing good in that sense. Oh, don't open that door, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:25

Don't but you know, like there is like there are like Bible verses because you know, like being angry in itself is not sinful, you know. We all get angry like it's but acting out that anger is sinful, you know? And so there in um James chapter 1, verse 19, it says, let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Because when we're upset, it's easy for us right away to be like and we have no idea what we just said, but we said something. Right. You said things that you didn't even mean, right? And why? Because you're hurt, so you want to hurt somebody, and it's like that's why we have to be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. You know, and in Ephesians 4 26, you know, in our anger, in in your anger, do not sin. You know, I mean, how I I don't know if it's just lately, but I'm I we see so many people like getting into like road rage accidents, yeah, and people actually like kill people just because they're angry, and that is just or because they cut them off. Yeah, I mean, it's just for something so dumb, you take someone's life, you know, yeah, and you not only change your life and your family's life, you change their life and their family's lives, and it's just horrible.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

It is, it's really sad, and you know, it's something that like I never understood, but now that I'm really paying attention to myself, it's just like because you're not really how could I say it? I can control my anger and I can catch myself, you know? And even then, like even when I wasn't able to do that, like my anger wasn't bad. But there's some people that they just black out and they don't know what they're doing. And that's something that had Andres was like that when he was little, like he would just get so angry and he would cry, or he would start like wanting a bite, and like he was just an he just when he would get mad, he would go from zero to 100. Like that was just that kid. So we had to sit him down in middle school and be like, hey, you need to start paying attention to your emotions and to the way you feel, and like you really need to concentrate on the anger. It's okay to get mad because everybody gets mad, but it's not okay with what you do with it. I was like, Because like you're gonna go, you're gonna get mad at somebody, and then you're gonna start fighting with that person. One hit, you can kill somebody with one hit. If you hit them the wrong way in their face or in the head, like you can kill them, and then you go to jail. And then what's gonna happen with your life?

SPEAKER_03 28:22

Right.

SPEAKER_00 28:22

I was like, you're an eight-honoral student, and then you're gonna spend your time in jail because your anger got a hold of you. Yeah. So that is something that like we we as parents do need to speak about it and and be open about it and just let them know, like, you know, we're not trying to be perfect and no, don't cast, and no, don't don't hit people, and don't don't defend yourself. But it's just the fact that like there's consequences, there's consequences to when you're gonna be able to do it.

SPEAKER_01 28:50

Yeah, because it's not only you hurting physically, but what about those little anybody, right? I'm not gonna say little kids, but that person that you continue to be mean to, say mean things to, and what happens to that person? They start either believing it or they commit suicide.

SPEAKER_03 29:08

Right.

SPEAKER_01 29:08

So you're not only pulling the trigger, you know, you don't have to, or do physically damage, but you are doing mentally damage to that person too.

SPEAKER_00 29:20

Yeah. Like I just saw this verse right now, John 14. It says, Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my father's house are many rooms. And that's so like that is something that I that Miguel has taught me is the fact that, like I just said right now, that once I get angry, I need to like chill, go to another room or get away from the situation and really pray about it. And then come back with a different mindset. And I've noticed my outcome has been way different. Like before, like my outcome would be, and even now, like if I get angry, my outcome is to yell and to ground everybody and take everything away. And now that I'm like, okay, like I just like we'll talk about it later. I'll walk away and I'll pray or I'll think about it, or sometimes I'll text Miguel, like, hey, this kid did this. What do I like? What do you think? What's your opinion? Like, this is what I want to do. And then like he'll give me another opinion. I'm like, okay. So I end up doing something way different than what I was actually gonna do. And that's just a journey that I'm taking with my faith, and I'm I'm loving it. Like I feel better, like it feels good, you know.

SPEAKER_02 30:39

I think that the the one thing that all of us need to learn is that, you know, we just have to turn to God for everything, you know, in the good times, in the bad times, when we're angry, when we're sad, when we're happy. It doesn't matter what situation we're in, if we just learn to stop and pray and think and you know, ask God for guidance, like He'll give it to us. You know, we just have to open ourselves to it, you know?

SPEAKER_00 31:12

And that's something that I notice in the Bible too, with with our emotions, is that and I think that's what the Bible also teaches us, is that everybody they go through their emotions, right?

SPEAKER_02 31:26

And they pray to God, but they pray to God and then they start doing what they want to do still instead of waiting and listening to him and really doing what he wants you to do and not because that's human nature, yeah, you know, like and especially nowadays, you know, like um we we have everything so quickly and accessible to us that we don't have patience, right? You know, if we want a hamburger, we just drive to McDonald's, you know. If we want a you know, a new shirt, we just go to the mall. Or no, we don't want to go to the mall, so we order it online, and then we can't wait for it to get here, so we pay that extra money for the shipping so it can be expensive. And you pay a membership for that so that you can have that easy accessibility.

SPEAKER_01 32:16

Overnight exactly $100 a year to go.

SPEAKER_02 32:19

We're so impatient.

SPEAKER_01 32:21

$8.99, please, okay? A month.

SPEAKER_02 32:24

We want that instant gratification. We we don't want to wait, but you know, God, I firmly believe this. God has three answers: it's yes, no, or wait. Oh man.

SPEAKER_00 32:37

You know, I never thought about that.

SPEAKER_02 32:39

And so we just have to really open ourselves to really hear and let God guide us into which one he wants us to do. Yeah. And not ourselves, because I can be like, Lord, do you want me to get that coach purse? You do, right? Right, Lord?

SPEAKER_00 32:56

I feel yes in my body. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 32:59

That shiver says yes. Exactly. You know. But, you know, when I think about it and pray about it, I'm like, well, no, I mean, I have other priorities right now. So even though that that purse is, that probably means that God's telling me no. You know, but we really have to open ourselves up to let God tell us one of the three answers. Yeah. You know, it's not going to be an instant gratification thing. Sometimes it is, you know, sometimes it is, but you know, sometimes it's not. And we just have to learn how to be patient.

SPEAKER_00 33:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:35

Very patient.

SPEAKER_02 33:36

You know, one of the things that I struggle with emotionally is my anxiety. I have I'm a very anxious person. Like, I have to take medication for it sometimes, you know. But that's also me worrying about things instead of me giving it to God, you know? And and I catch myself and I'm just like, like, look, like God, there's zero reason for me to be anxious right now. So, like, why am I anxious? Like, I don't understand, you know, and so it's just a lot of people suffer from anxiety, you know, and it's it it uh sometimes, you know, there there are like chemical imbalances, you know, just like when with people that are depressed, you know, yeah, there's a chemical imbalance. But sometimes we just make it up in our minds too. Yeah, you know, I mean, we just create this whole thing, I'm an overthinker too. So if I I see Vanessa looking at me a certain way, I'm already thinking she's probably mad at me because I don't smell it. I'm like, I'm sure I showered today. Are you sure? I'm sure. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 34:43

You know what's so funny. Crazy is that like it's not funny, it's crazy. Like, that's something that I just learned about you, about your anxiety. And like, I would have never thought that is something you struggled with. Like you just do not look like a person that is anxious. Like, you look like you have your ducks in a row. The overthinking, okay, because we're all overthinkers, and then because sometimes like I'll like I'll start thinking out loud to you guys, and then you catch on, and I'm like, oh, this girl gets me.

SPEAKER_02 35:10

No, but I am. I'm very anxious, and and so um, especially having an eight-year-old kid, you know, I'm I'm super anxious, you know, because I'm always like this is how bad my anxiety gets sometimes. Am I overthinking? So I'll be like, oh, like, oh, we're gonna go to Colorado next month, right? And so right away my heads are like, what if our plane crashes and then my son's gonna be by himself? And then so like it goes from there, and I already have like this huge story, and then that just makes me super anxious, yeah. You know, and so most of the time I can control the anxiety, um, but sometimes I do need to take a chill pill. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:50

So let me ask you now. Let's go to the happiness. Okay, too much of an anger and sadness and everything. Do you think that people that think or that they are happy and because they have that happiness, do you think they act or they do something bad?

SPEAKER_00 36:10

What do you mean? What do you mean?

SPEAKER_01 36:12

Okay, so I was talking because I was watching a documentary.

unknown 36:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 36:17

I don't know if you have seen it. The American Murder, the Family Next Door. With who? Um, I'm like, there's the girl that got murdered by the husband is Shannon.

SPEAKER_00 36:30

No, with the little girls. Two girls. Where he also murders his two daughters. Yes. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:36

So I'm saying because he was in a new relationship, he was having an affair, he felt like he was happy and he wanted to do all this with a new person. So he did something bad. He got rid of his current family.

SPEAKER_02 36:51

I think that there are people that are mentally unstable. Um and I think that there are people that create their own realities. Um, like a lot of narcissists do that. Um, they create in their head, you know, just scenarios. And to them, everything that they do is justified. You know, like um I left my wife and my kid because you know, she was a bad wife because she always wanted me, she always wanted to know where I was, and so that's her problem. So, you know, I can't deal with that because I'm a good person, you know. But a good, I mean, a quote unquote good person doesn't leave their wife and kid. You know, but in their head, they're gonna use anything to justify it, you know. So, so yeah, like the that person justified killing his family because in his head, it was the only way that he could create his new reality with his new partner.

SPEAKER_01 38:04

And thinking that he was all happy with a new partner, like start thinking, like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:09

I think it has to do with I agree with what what you said, Anne, but it also has to do with like our honesty to ourselves and our accountability. Like, if he really wasn't happy with his wife and his children, he should have sat down and been like, okay, how do I fix this? Because obviously, like he fell into his emotions, he used somebody else to make him happy. Like it shouldn't be that logically, right?

SPEAKER_02 38:40

Logically thinking, that's right. But narcissists don't think that way. You know, they they just don't.

SPEAKER_00 38:47

They don't take accountability.

SPEAKER_02 38:48

No, everybody else is wrong and they're they're right. So that's what I mean. You know, like logically, yes, you are correct. You know, that's the best thing to do. Yeah, just if you're not happy, if you're not happy that relationship and that's it.

SPEAKER_01 39:03

I think what he was, I think is that what he thought was I'm just gonna go ahead and get rid of them because that person's still gonna be in my life and ruin my happiness, quote unquote, that I'm already building with another person.

SPEAKER_03 39:18

Right.

SPEAKER_01 39:19

You know, and that's and to be honest, there are some ex-wives that will still make the other person's life miserable.

SPEAKER_02 39:27

So you know, you're kind of worrying me because you're getting married next time. Is there a reason why you're asking this?

SPEAKER_01 39:35

No, no, I'm just saying the reason why, because you know, I'm thinking if you think that you're happy and you're in a happy place in your life, do you still do wrong things? So even though that you're happy.

SPEAKER_00 39:52

I will agree with what you're saying, as far as like you thinking you're happy, you're gonna be happy. Like, I really do believe, like you speak positive, you're gonna get positive. So, like, yes, there's times that like I am like so like angry and tired, but then I'm like, I like I can't think like that. Like, I can't like take and I'll I'll tell God, God, take all these negative thoughts out of my head. Like, don't let me speak of it, don't let me think of it in Jesus' name. And then I'm like, okay, so let's think happy thoughts. Let's think happy thoughts, you know? So that's when I start being happy and I start laughing with my kids, and I kind of force it, but at the same time, like at the like within minutes, I'm like, okay, I'm good.

SPEAKER_02 40:36

And like it was just and that's a good mentality to have, you know, like that's what we do with ours, with you know, yeah, like what you were just talking about earlier, that you were like, we don't let each other be in that negative space for long, you know. It's like and I always tell Caleb the same thing. Yeah, I'm like, no, baby, we gotta be positive. If ever he's because he's a child, of course, he's like, Mom, it's because this person is smarter than me. And I'm just like, I don't care about that person. I care about Caleb. And I think Caleb is really smart, yeah, you know, and so you know, you have to create that positivity because I really do believe, you know, positive positivity and positive energy attracts positive energy, you know, and um and I've gotten really good and even not all the time. I'm human, I get in my ruts too. You know, when if something goes bad, I'm just like, it's okay. You know, like yeah, God has my back and it's it's va pasar, you know, va pasar.

SPEAKER_00 41:33

Which I think it goes back to that whole being honest with yourself and the accountability, like, okay, yes, I was in a bad place and yes, I did think negative, but I don't want to be there anymore. And that's where, and I think where where you're coming from, Jasmine, is like you're talking about those people that like they fake being happy to other people, but in their heads, they're still like, okay, I choose to do wrong. Like, I'm choosing to do this and I'm choosing to do that. And if whenever whenever I'm in front of this person, I'm just gonna smile and be happy and tell them everything's okay when it's not okay. And that's where people don't take account of accountability and they're not honest with themselves. So I think as long as like you're honest with yourself and you really like, okay, like yes, I did go through this, but I don't want to be in that stage anymore. Like, I want to be good and I'm gonna be good, you know? Like what we were just talking about earlier. Like, I've sinned, like walking with God and going through this um journey that I'm going with him. And like I get so mad at myself because like it's like I'm going through this, I know what's right and what's wrong, and I'm still sinning, but at the same time, it's just like I don't like that's why I feel like I'm an open book because I want to be honest with myself and with other people that yeah, like I'm going through this journey, but I'm still not perfect. Like I still never be. No, you will never be perfect. I think that's something I've learned because I've tried to be perfect, I want to be perfect. And I even told him yesterday, like, I want to be perfect, like I want to be perfect for you, God. Like, how can I do that? And then, like, it's just like, no, you can't.

SPEAKER_01 43:14

No, you can't, but that's why there's the Bible, yeah, to guide you. You know, he knows that we're not gonna be perfect, right? But there's that special book that is gonna go ahead and tell you, okay, you did what you did. Good thing that you recognize it. Let's move forward. Let me guide you, right? And that's why you go back to the Bible and you read it. Yes, you know. Um, and there's other people that by hurting other people, they're happy.

SPEAKER_00 43:46

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:47

You know, aungan envidia, they're mad because of what you have, but they're still gonna go ahead and say things to you just to have that. Little piece of whatever they call happiness with themselves, you know. So I'm like, what's going on? Yeah. Um, I do have a verse here. Um, whenever I feel, you know, because I do have anxiety, as you girls know, bipolar and everything, when I feel very, very overwhelmed, or when I'm going through the roller coaster with my daughter Imani, because we have almost the same thing. Um, I read this verse and I'm like, okay, it has helped me. So this is Isaiah 41, uh, verse 10. So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will straighten you and help you. I will uphold you with the righteousness' right hand. So that means that he's I'm literally holding on to him. He's holding my hand and telling me, You're gonna be okay. Let's go ahead and figure this out together. And then I grab my daughter's hand and I say, We're gonna be okay. Let's figure this out together.

SPEAKER_02 45:04

Because God never leaves us or forsakes us. Yeah, whenever, whenever I'm just going through like whatever, I all my my favorite Bible verse and the Bible verse that I have all over my house, literally, is Philippians 4 13. So and I always just think like I I can do all things. I can do all things, you know, and that's just that's just what we, you know, I can do all things, you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:31

Like right now that you were just talking about it, it reminds me of like when we're in the pool, like we're swimming in the deep end, you know, and he's just like I can see him holding on to us by a streak. Yeah. And then we have our kids right here, we're holding out to our kids and teaching them how to swim.

SPEAKER_01 45:46

Because I think there's a shark coming to me. But it's true. I mean, that's a really good way to look at it, you know. Like it's like it's like it he knows what's coming tomorrow. He's already there, he's already one step ahead of us, right? So whatever we're planning to do tomorrow, he already knows. Jasmine gonna take a shower? Oh yeah, yeah. I take showers every day at my lunchtime, okay? Good morning.

SPEAKER_00 46:19

I get this every day.

SPEAKER_01 46:20

Every day. Please clarify that you work at home. I work from home. 12 to 12:30. That's my lunchtime. That's my meeting taking a shower.

SPEAKER_00 46:31

I I know it's really hard to like stick to our topic sometimes because like we start talking and like we get along so well. And the fact that like, you know, with emotions, like it's there's a lot. Yeah. I mean, we can feel like talking about emotions. So I I just want to go around and really say like the really meaning of roller coaster of emotions. Like, my roller coaster of emotions is on a monthly basis. And yes, I've realized that some of it is hormonal, which is like during the times that I'm on my period, and I feel some days like I feel really angry, and then I feel like a big old burst of lust, and then it just goes away. And then for the rest of the month, I'm happy, and like I could be stressed, you know, just depending on work. But those are my roller coasters. My roller coasters is usually the week of my menstruation and just like trying to follow this new guide that I'm I'm trying to follow, you know?

SPEAKER_01 47:36

I think I think a lot of the women could relate to that. Yeah, and you know what? And the wonderful, wonderful men out there that deals that deals with their wife and you know, and their best friend. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 47:50

Or the women that deal with their sensitive husband.

SPEAKER_01 47:54

You know, they're crying, they're both crying.

SPEAKER_00 47:58

What's your roller coaster of emotions?

SPEAKER_01 48:00

Mine right now is the wedding. Right now, everything, um, not gonna say cold feet because I do want to get married. It's just a little bit. I did have a conversation with him way before, you know, saying about like, okay, now it is the full, full commitment. I'm not saying that I'm not committed right now, because you know, we've been in each other's life for 14 years. But the commitment is that if anything, God forbid, right? God forbid, anything goes wrong. She's knocking down with FYI. If anything goes wrong, we're gonna sit down and work through it. It's not that, uh yeah, let's get a divorce.

SPEAKER_03 48:43

Right.

SPEAKER_01 48:44

It's how we chose to take it and work on it. Because I told him, I'm sorry, sweetheart, but this is forever.

SPEAKER_00 48:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:53

Regardless if I'm sad half of the time, but we're gonna work on this. That commitment is like, I'm saying it and I'm hoping I could keep that commitment. Yeah. So ah, it's getting real, it's getting real, it's getting real.

SPEAKER_00 49:08

It's a pressure. I think it's a pressure.

SPEAKER_01 49:09

And I guess I wasn't in a bamboo because I was doing my decorations for the church, and I was like, I'm in a bammood. Do not talk to me. I did tell my kid, like, don't talk to me. But why?

SPEAKER_00 49:19

I was like, See, that's better than yelling.

SPEAKER_01 49:23

Yeah. And and my kids making fun of me because I'm stuttering. But that's my roller coaster right now.

SPEAKER_00 49:29

And yours, and what's your roller coaster of emotions?

SPEAKER_02 49:32

Uh, for sure, like just my kid. Um being a single mom is hard. And um, you know, you have to play both roles. And I'm I'm lucky to have my village that helps me. But, you know, at the end of the day, it's just me and my kid. And so, you know, I'm I I put a lot of pressure on myself, I know, because I I want to be the best mom that I can. Yeah, and I want to provide everything that I can to my son. Um, and I've said it tons of times. I say it all the time, you know, like if I fail at being a mom, then everything else just doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_01 50:08

But you are, you are gonna fail as a mom. Not another that you're gonna crush, but you are because even though we were born to give birth and everything, we don't have a book.

SPEAKER_02 50:20

Right. No, yeah, but I mean, like, I guess just and I know that I have to be a little bit more lenient on myself because you know I just have to be because I'm so hard on myself. Yeah, but you know, I mean, that's just that's just you know, most of my my roller coaster ride is my son most of the time.

SPEAKER_00 50:38

So it's always our kids. Oh I think they play a big role in that in our lives. And I I mean, I just I hope we're able to touch somebody out there that's going through their emotions. Like it's okay to feel those emotions. Yeah, and it's okay to even mess up or walk the wrong way, you know? Um, just as long as you find your way back to your path, and just as long as you know it's not affecting yourself in a healthy way, like in a bad health way, I guess you could say.

SPEAKER_02 51:15

I mean, it's it's perfectly normal to, you know, you know, it's easy to be happy, right? Right. You know, when good things happen, it's so easy to be happy and oh, you know, thank you, Lord. You know, you gave me a promotion at work. Thank you, Lord, you know, but when that when times get really hard, you know, and then you know, you people get depressed or anxious, you know, and it's just that it doesn't take big leaps and bounds to get out of your rut. If people are down and out because Lord knows that I've been there, when you are down and out, it's those baby steps that help. Yeah, you know, always for sure, always just being like asking God for guidance.

SPEAKER_03 52:02

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:03

Asking God for guidance. But then if you're just so down and you're so depressed, or you're so anxious, or you're so whatever when you're down, if all you do that day is get up and take a shower, then that's God. You got up and you took a shower. The big victory when you are down is getting back up.

SPEAKER_01 52:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:27

And the only way that we can do that is with God. Yes. With God, with prayer and with honesty.

SPEAKER_01 52:35

Well, I have one more verse about what you were just saying. Well, let's close it off with that verse that you have. So is Isaiah 43, uh verse 2 to 3. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. And when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned. The flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your savior.

SPEAKER_02 53:02

Amen.

SPEAKER_00 53:02

That's a great verse. And it ends it perfectly with what you just said, Anne. Like that's just exactly what Anne was saying through God's words. Yes. That was perfect. That was perfect. And I hope it helps you guys out there. I hope that you guys are able to find friends and find a church. And, you know, if you are down and out and just not feeling well in any type of way, like it doesn't have to be like, oh, well, other people have it bad, so why am I crazy? No, like it could be anything. Like, get out there, you know. Like, like Ann said, just get in the shower, go outside. What helps a lot is the sun. Getting some sun and talking to God that helps a ton. So if you can do that one of those days that you guys aren't feeling good, do that. I recommend it.

SPEAKER_02 53:50

Well, let's go ahead and end with prayer.

SPEAKER_00 53:53

Yes, go. You want to do it, Ann? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:56

Heavenly Father, thank you for bringing us together once again. I really missed being here with these lovely ladies and just you know talking about the things that you know make us happy, make us sad. And just the realization, Lord, that we're all human and we're all imperfect. And even though we try to strive for that perfection through you, we can only try to get it through you, Lord. Let us realize that all of us bear our cross, Lord. It's just it just looks a little different on all of us. Let us bear our cross and always just walk towards you and know that you're walking with us and that you're guiding us and leading us through this roller coaster of emotions that we might have, whether it be a single mom, whether we're it's a married couple, whether it's an older couple, whether it's a teenager, an eight-year-old. The roller coaster of emotions is just different for all of us. But if we are Christ-centered and we always turn to you, Lord, we know that we'll find our way back. Lead us and guide us, Lord. Help us to have a great rest of the week. I pray that you be with Jasmine next Saturday when she gets married to Jose. I pray that you bless their marriage, Lord. Uh, be with our church, Lord, and help us to continue doing what we do. Help us to grow. And we just ask for your blessed guidance, Lord. In your name we pray.

SPEAKER_00 55:32

Amen. Amen. Thank you guys for hanging out with us again. Thank you until next time, guys. Bye. Good night.