#11 The Prison Encounter That Changed Everything: A Story of Reconciliation with Jim Sed

A life transformed by God's grace—Jim Sed’s journey from addiction, incarceration, and despair to redemption and purpose. His story is a powerful testament to divine timing, second chances, and the miracle of genuine brotherhood. If you're searching for hope, healing, and the encouragement to fight your own battles, this episode is a must-listen.Jim, a former addict and federal inmate, shares openly about hitting rock bottom, experiencing intense withdrawal, and feeling God's presence in his darkest hours—particularly through a stranger’s kindness in prison. His story reveals the profound power of the Holy Spirit, the importance of community, and how surrendering to God's plan can rewrite a life headed for destruction.

You'll discover:

• How divine encounters often come in unexpected places, especially during life's lowest moments
• The critical role of authentic brotherhood in breaking isolation and fostering accountability among men
• Practical insights on overcoming addiction, forging new purpose, and rebuilding relationships with family and God
• The incredible story of birth secret, forgiveness, and finding family in the most unlikely circumstances 
• The transformative impact of faith-led initiatives, including re-entry ministries and community-building efforts

Amidst the chaos of addiction, crime, and incarceration, Jim’s story offers hope to anyone feeling overwhelmed by life's challenges. His journey underscores that no matter how far gone you may feel, God's timing and grace are greater than any mistake. This episode inspires men to step out of isolation, embrace brotherhood, and pursue a life of purpose rooted in faith.Perfect for fathers, men battling addiction, or anyone longing for restoration and connection—Jim’s story will motivate you to trust God's plan for renewal. Join us to hear an extraordinary redemption story and learn how brotherhood and God's love can turn even the darkest chapters into hope-filled new beginnings.

Note: Jim Sed is a dedicated community leader, entrepreneur (owner of Tri-Link Contracting), and former inmate who now works tirelessly to support veterans and men in recovery through Cornerstone Residence and faith-based initiatives. His life exemplifies God's power to transform and restore.

This episode is a powerful reminder that even in our brokenness, God's love never fails—and His plans for redemption are bigger than our failures.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

I always thought that I was trying to escape the person that I was, but I've discovered through so much meditation and prayer that I was trying to find the person that I used to be when I was putting myself under the influence of drugs. I always wanted to revisit that uh that time in my life where things were bright and joyful and my experiences were pure and simple. Even though the world was complex, I always I was always grounded in myself until at some point in my teens, to my later teens. Uh, and then, you know, had back surgery. And that was really my uh gateway to the opiates, which was really my my substance of choice. I I discovered very early on that the pain relief was good, but when the pain was gone, the feeling and the euphoria that I got from this was beginning to take precedent over every other joy and feeling that I had in my life.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

Hey guys, real quick here, before we get started on the show, I want to tell you about something very special here. We're giving away something for free right now. It's called the Dad Core 70 Challenge. It's a 70-day plan to help you grow in your faith, lead your family, and get your life aligned. No fluff, just daily action. And don't do it alone. Grab a few guys and go through it together. Get started today at churchdads.org.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

Our next guest is a follower of Christ, a husband, a father, a business owner, and the founder of a nonprofit called Cornerstone Residence, and someone I'm truly honored to call a friend. Mr. Jim said, welcome to the Church Dads podcast.

SPEAKER_03 1:49

Thank you. Thank you, Luke. It's uh really such a pleasure to be here. This when you uh when you extended this invitation, I just I I just couldn't wait. I couldn't wait to come out here. So um and you asked me to share my story. So is there any particular uh thing you want me to start with, or you want me to just kind of Yep.

SPEAKER_01 2:06

So, well, first of all, like from the beginning, when we I I first met you, I heard your testimony, and Mark and I, when we just started this thing last year, you were on the list immediately of someone we wanted to talk to because it's inspiring. I think a lot of the audience is is really gonna find encouragement in this. But I would kind of want to start of how we actually met, because this says a lot about you. Uh, so we met several years ago. And actually, today I went through my email. I guess it's a good thing I don't delete all my emails, but I went through my email and it was a year ago today that we were just messaging about you had sponsored, your company sponsored Wyatt's baseball team four years ago. And so we were talking about, hey, setting up a team picture and trying to get you over the team schedule because I know you wanted to try to catch a couple of the games.

SPEAKER_02 3:01

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

And so I had your email in my contact. So I I was like, okay, I know Jim, he's in there. We were talking, we're communicating. So speed up. It was like nine days later, that huge storm rolled through here through Pit South Pittsburgh. It was bad. So the boys and I, Carly, we're we're looking out the window, which you're not really supposed to do during a storm. It was a tornado watch. But I was keeping an eye on it. The basement door was open. And just as I'm like, hey boys, we got to get to the basement because the winds were crazy, you know, the rain, I start seeing shingles in my mulch. And truth be told, I I love my neighbors, but I'm really hoping they're not my shingles. Anyhow, the storm, the storm goes by. We look, yeah, sure enough, it's my house. Half the side of the roof is just ripped up. And I'm thinking to myself, do I know a roofer? I'm like, I do. It's Jim. He's a he sponsors Wyatt's baseball team. So so anyhow, I look back, and it was about almost eight o'clock that night, because the storm happened in the evening, eight o'clock that night, I send you an email. By 8 30, you had responded and said, I'll be out there at eight o'clock in the morning. And I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. So by 8 30 in the morning, so 12 hours, my roof was tarped, which I'm sure the insurance company was happy about. But it was, it was, it was tarped. And I was, I was so thankful. So then, you know, you go through all the insurance stuff, you order the shingles, everything. I believe it was you and your wife who came out right after the job was done to make sure it was everything was was good. I remember what type of business owner you are, Jim. And you came out and we started talking, and it the Lord came up, and then you shared kind of your testimony. And I felt like we actually had an instant connection because we're we're brothers in Christ.

SPEAKER_02 4:57

Amen.

SPEAKER_01 4:58

And we've just stayed in contact here and there over the last four years, and your office isn't that far from where I live. So, you know, I I drive by from time to time. And um, obviously we we follow each other you know on social media as well. So we're kind of up to date a little bit. But with that, all that said, you know, you have an incredible story. There's a lot of twists and turns in your life, and I'm I'm anxious to just have you share what the Lord has done in your life because I think so many people are going to find value in that and how good the Lord is. So with that, can you just kind of start us from the very beginning, Jim, of your your life and and kind of the trajectory of where everything went?

SPEAKER_03 5:42

Yeah, of course. Yeah, but to your point about the uh our meeting, um, it's just amazing to me now um how the Lord inspires connection and appointment. I mean, look, so we we met over a couple of shingles in your yard, and now we're uh uh witnessing and testifying uh to the great powers of the Lord. And I I just think that uh uh to this end, uh it's just a beautiful, uh beautiful, beautiful thing. And obviously, we're not at the end of our story. So so my story, I mean, I uh and I always want to make it clear that and uh that I I was not a a child or a young man who came up through a bunch of darkness and damage and abuse and things like that. I I lived in a neighborhood, uh in a small steel town, children everywhere, just a joyful childhood. Uh two wonderful parents um that I that I I miss. I lost a few years ago, but I'm so grateful to have uh had them in my life. And um, they molded me well, but my intentions uh in my flesh took me in other directions, and uh, and that's what led to really the beginning of of um the end of me uh in um in in that former life of mine. So um I was an athlete, I played ball, I uh and all along, you know, I dabbled back in the 70s, everybody was doing something. Um smoke, smoking weed, doing cocaine, things like that. Um it was almost like we were almost desensitized to it, you know, they we didn't have the information that we have now. At any rate, um I thought I was fine. Uh, that's what I was doing. And um I continued on. I went to college. I, you know, I only went to college for a year. I got disgusted with my studies, not because the studies were poor, but because my attitude was poor. And I thought, you know, the best thing for me to do right now is to join some branch of the service. Uh so I joined the Navy. And um, all the while, all the while while I was in the service, uh, I was stationed with the Marines in Camp Lejeune. I was a uh Navy corpsman, and the Navy supplies are medics, uh the medics for the Marine Corps. Um, I continued to experiment with drugs, and I was beginning to get to the point where um I was regularly abusing um substances, uh, but still functional and still um able to perform my job and to interact socially. I I have never really had a problem with that. Um so I served out my time and I decided not to re-enlist. I came home and uh, you know, took up a job working as a paramedic for an ambulance service. Um still in my in my what is beginning at this point in time. Now keep in mind I'm in my early to mid-20s, and I am um already cross, I've already crossed the line to addiction with regards to substance. I I wanted to do whatever I could to what and this is funny because I put a lot of thought into this, and this is was kind of a revelation to me. Um, I always thought that I was trying to escape the person that I was, but I've discovered uh through so much meditation and prayer that I was trying to find the person that I used to be when I was uh uh become putting myself under the influence of drugs. I I always wanted to revisit that uh that time in my life where things were bright and joyful and my experiences were pure and simple, even though the world was complex. I I always I was always grounded in myself until uh until at some point in my teens, to my later teens. And I don't know what brought that on, but it did. Uh, and then um, you know, had back surgery, and that was really um my uh gateway to the opiates, uh, which was really my my substance of choice. Uh I f I discovered very early on that the pain relief was good, but when the pain was gone, the feeling and the euphoria that I got from this um was beginning to take precedent over every other joy and feeling that I had in my life. My life became sourcing the drug. Um, and I never had to worry about finding the means to get it because I lived a double life. I was working and I was gainfully employed, and I and I was earning well. You know, I I was not what we and and there and and my story is not unique, uh, brothers. Um I was not the uh addict who people uh the persona, the stigma of an addict on the streets begging, stealing, whatever the case may be. Never had to do that. I I masked it well from myself, but I did not mask it from those around me. Um but because there was some value in what I had to bring in many other people's lives who weren't the closest to me, they ignored it. And I ignored those who were close to me who were trying to help me find, help me seek help. So um got to the point where you know, and the folks are listening to this who have had opiate issues in the past, I was consuming 10 to 12 uh 80 milligram oxycontin a day. I mean, it's an extraordinary amount of narcotic, you know. Uh I I I because my you in that with that drug, your tolerance just grows exponentially the more you use it. It got to the point where um where I was just making poor decisions. I still was holding a job, but uh, but as my addiction progressed and as my need for the drug uh got more severe, I decided that I would control this. Uh I don't I didn't need to work anymore. I could get into some consulting areas and work on my own time and then make my drug habit my full-time job. And and I mean, and that's what it was. That's really what it was, you know, to the extent that I couldn't function without it. You know, you when when I didn't have the drug, which was very rarely, I had I had immediate uh uh voluminous access to it, but there were times when I didn't, I could, I could not function in the world. I could not function through a day. I didn't want to get out of bed. Um so you know, I I progressed and I and I can't and and I'll tell you, um I I believed in God because I was told to. Um, I was told that there was a God, and I was told that um that's just the way it was. But I had uh no relationship. Um I was defiant to the word of the Lord. Um looking back, I was I didn't know what the word of the Lord was at the time. I was not in the word. I was I was um I didn't have time for it. I didn't need it. It you know, it was um I'm doing fine on my own. I that those are the lies that we tell ourselves as addicts. And um uh so I so I I turned my face from God, entirely from God. Not that not that I was ever in his presence for real, but uh, but I turned my face entirely from God. And I uh began seeking other means of satisfaction in my life to the extent that I got uh I got into criminality. I I'm all I've always been entrepreneurial, and even in in my addiction that that that took hold of me. So I decided I decided that I I'll just get into trafficking. Uh so so that's what I did. And um I began trafficking in various different substances, um, you know, one of which it was cocaine. And um uh, you know, uh confidential informant, wore it wire. We all know the story. And uh the next thing I know, I was facing uh federal drug charges for trafficking in cocaine. And um still didn't didn't resonate with me. I continued on, even while I was on pretrial probation and everything else. I continued on with my addiction, I continue on, continued on with my criminality. Um I I was arrogant enough to believe that if I got the right attorney that this would all go away. And um discovered really quickly that you you just don't mess around with the federal government when it comes to um they're just they're just uh when it comes to when it comes to trying to escape the consequences, um it doesn't work. So I used opiates right up until the morning of my sent of my uh not my sentencing of my um verdict. They they they called us in to um hear the jury's verdict and I was high. And um to no surprise of anyone except my own, uh the verdict came back guilty. So um October 30th, 2008, they took me out of the courtroom in handcuffs, downtown Pittsburgh, uh, to a holding cell within the within the belly of the federal court building down there, wait awaiting transport to Allegheny County jail. And um they brought me a ham sandwich. And I took two bites out of the ham sandwich, and I thought, this is terrible. This who would serve somebody this kind of food? And I remember telling telling folks as I was going through the system that about the ham sandwich story, and then ending with, I wish I had that ham sandwich. Like it would be the best tasting food. So uh so that was it. Then then Allegheny County jail. And uh they they take uh federal um convictees there to um process them through and await sentencing. So I was awaiting sentencing. Um when I got to uh Allegheny County Jail, they they put you in a um they take you down to the holding area. And so I was down in the holding area of Allegheny County Jail on Halloween 2008. That was an experience. And I was I was just beginning to go through uh the opiate withdrawal, which I knew was coming, and I I um was beginning to get sick. They did they took me through intake. Uh, when they ask you questions in intake, one of the things that they touch on um is your substance use because they're concerned with uh withdrawal symptoms while you're under their care. Uh, you know, and rightfully so, because opiate withdrawal can get so severe that that somebody uh could lose their life over it.

SPEAKER_00 17:27

And Jim, what are some of those things, withdrawal symptoms? Like explain some of that.

SPEAKER_03 17:33

Yes. Um, so well, I'll I'll take it to the I'll take it to the morning. I I told him I didn't have any um I didn't I didn't have any substance abuse. So I'm laying, I'm I'm in the uh cell, in the observation pod, and I was um literally laying on literally laying on the floor uh on in the cell, and my head just felt like it was going to explode. Um, you know, my bodily functions uh were out of control. I was uh literally in my own squalor and laying next to the metal toilet in the middle of the cell. And and um for the first time I prayed sincerely to God to take my life. That was the first sincere prayer that I had prayed in my life, um, still not knowing who I was praying to or or for what reason other than to put me out of my own misery. And um, you know, he go ahead, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 18:38

No, I was gonna say, yeah, that's just it kind of puts it in perspective of what you're going through when we talk about withdrawals and being heavily addicted to that. Um just that's yeah, it's wild, man. Wild.

SPEAKER_03 18:50

Yeah, yeah, it's it's um obviously something I I never will for sure experience again, and I certainly don't want to experience it again. But it was and it was trying, and I was in the cell by myself. Um and I and I and I liked it that way because, you know, in addiction, we become so accustomed to isolating uh in our pain and in what we consider suffering in our own lives, but uh, although it's all self-imposed, it still is suffering. And I enjoyed the isolation. The only thing I enjoyed in that situation was being isolated from everyone else. Um and I was in there for a day, and um you know, uh withdrawal symptoms last for six, seven, eight days. And you know, the psychological addiction lasts for up to 18 months before you really clear yourself of of that faulty thinking. Um, although it still revisits anyone who's ever been in that situation. So the next morning, um the next morning a guy comes into my cell. They assigned me a cellmate and um and he just looks at me and he says, you know, he and he expressed, you know, what you know, uh you're in a brad way, bad, bad way, brother. Bad way. And and I all I want him to do is honestly just don't talk to me. Uh leave me alone, and um and that was it. And he knew that. And he knew that, and you'll figure out why in a moment. But his name was Jasper. And Jasper came into the cell and um he unpacked a few things and he graciously took the upper bunk because he he knew I was in no condition to climb into the lower bunk, let alone the upper bunk. And he sat at the little metal table in the corn the the bunk is here, the toilet's here, the table's here, everything's within a six foot circumference of each other or diameter, whatever the word is. But um and he began uh he opened his little the little Bible that they give you if you want when you come through. Uh it's this big. I it's this I still have it. That Bible I still have to this day. Um and he just started uh at the time, now I know, at the time I was kind of confused, but he would he would read and then he would raise up and and now I know looking back that he was meditating on the word and that he was um praying and um and he did that. I'm telling you guys, I don't know when he stopped that day because I was in and out of consciousness. But um the next morning, you know, I don't know what time it was, six thirty, seven o'clock in the morning, probably. When they flipped the lights on, and um he went right back at it. He sat there and then he went out and got something to eat. And while he was out eating, I I got up into the bunk for the first time. This is day two, two and a half. And I was laying there and and he came back in and he says, How you feeling? I said, uh I don't feel good. And that those are all the words I could get out or wanted to get out. He took his book and he opened it again, and he he started just reading and meditating and um all day long. And uh, you know, finally um by the by the dinner time that day, you know, I sat up and I and I thought, you know, because in my heart, um in my heart I'm a people person. I love people and and I and I don't want to slate people in any way. And I thought I owed him a conversation and an explanation. He he he enjoyed the conversation, he didn't need the explanation. He knew he knew where I was and um I said, What are you what are you doing? Like, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 23:18

And he said, Uh I'm praying for you.

SPEAKER_03 23:25

Yeah, so so he's he said, I'm praying for you, brother. And uh then he started he started to read just verses of scripture and relating them to his own life. And the irony of scripture is when someone is relating what they're reading to their own life, there's a relation to your life. I mean, it's it's just the way the word of the Lord works. And and I started to I started to really get a grip on um what he was doing, why he was doing it, and I wanted to learn and know how can I how can I have this? How can I have this in my life? And uh so I I started talking about it, and I'm telling you, um, it was the longest conversation I'd had with any one person, I think, in 20 years. Just sitting in that cell talking to him and him witnessing to me. Now, Jasper, um, you know, he was from the Badlands in Philadelphia, and and I talk about this a lot. Uh, Badlands in North Philadelphia is um it's a tough spot to come up uh as a young person. And he's in his life, in his immediate family, he there were people serving time for homicide, people who had lost their lives to homicides. And um he came from a rough spot, but he had a lot of love in his heart, and and obviously he his the the love that the Holy Spirit provided for him to give to others, um he was giving to me, um, Jasper, and uh and we and we just talked, and then we and then just I didn't even realize this had happened. It just happened, and then I realized that we we were praying together. And uh, you know, yeah, he was lifting me up, and uh we were we were having uh conversations right now with um with each other. Um so I started praying with him and um got to the point where you know I didn't have to pray a prayer of salvation to ex to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. We didn't it didn't get to that point. We just talked through it until I I was just overwhelmed suddenly with with the Holy Spirit and with the calm that comes from it and and with the um inspiration that came from the word and with the love that um this stranger um you know was showing me in my deepest, darkest moment. And uh and um and I remember almost distinctly, you know, within a period of uh a few minutes where uh where I was washed with the blood of the Lord for real and felt it. I had always been, right? We know that. Uh, but uh but I felt it and I felt the salvation and it was it was almost an immediate uh thing. And uh Jasper said, Well, you keep this book, you keep this and you read it. I I have it still. Um I when I go to speak places, I bring it with me because it's a powerful symbol of a life-changing event uh for me.

SPEAKER_05 27:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:03

And um so the next morning, uh I I I finally felt like I could get up and get something to eat. So I I got out, I went out to the uh common area where they served breakfast, and I got two pieces of toast, and I sat there and I ate my toast. I don't know that I finished it, but it I remember it feeling good to have something solid in my body again. And um I got back up and I I went to the cell, and uh Jasper had left. He he was gone. I I never saw him again. No, he he was real. I know he was real uh because I've been trying to find him ever since. So I've been I've been looking for this man since um probably November 2nd, 2008. And I've I've contacted uh I because I just want to say thank you. You know, I I want to I want to thank him uh for what he did. But that but that changed my life. I I was still dealing with many things. Uh, you know, I mentioned a confidential informant. Well, it was somebody that I knew. And I, you know, I mentioned, you know, I had co-defendants who who testified against me. So I was I was harboring a lot of anger, and I was um I was not uh forgiving at all of myself or those around me who are called to forgive. But I was early on in my walk with the Lord, and I and I I I dedicated the time that I was at Allegheny County Jail to um beginning to develop a relationship. But I still didn't know how to pray. I was praying for positive things to take place in my life. I knew I was facing a long sentence. Um and I prayed that the Lord would intervene in some way and and re and and remove some of that time from me. And I prayed that he would intervene in some way and allow the court system to see my appeal in a positive light. I was praying for all these things. So we spoke before we came on air about God's timing. Um he wasn't ready for that to happen. Uh so I I ended up going to um my sentencing hearing, and I was sentenced to 130 months, which is 10 years, 10 months. Goodness. And uh yeah, it it's a it's a it's a stretch. Uh and and then, you know, the problem with being uh in in the addictions and in the faulty thinkings and the things that I was experiencing in my life is you don't think about the consequences. Um, because they don't matter. They don't matter. But now all of the consequences that I had never faced or thought that I would have to face have been are hitting me uh head on. My young son, my my aging parents, my sisters who uh, oh my God, God bless them. They stood by me all the way through. My family. Um the consequences really started hitting me hard. But but it was the consequences of others' lives. So I knew I was making progress. I wasn't thinking about my own consequences any longer. I was thinking about the consequences that I had that are arising uh due to the damage that I have caused others, um, which you know, which uh put me in a very remote remorseful and forgiveness-asking mode. And uh I was shocked, I don't know why, but I was shocked that when I asked those who I had affected the most most closely to me, my my loved ones, for forgiveness um it was without hesitation. So uh so I so I was no longer living I you can't ask somebody to forgive you when you're when you're c constantly um operating in the darkness. Yeah. Because because your your words are moot, and they know that. Yeah. But the forgiveness came strong and powerfully, and I I continued to um I continued to to progress.

SPEAKER_00 31:56

So so Jay, uh you said you had a you have a son, you said you had a son at this point. How does your son come to play? What was the timing of that, of when you had a kid versus when you were in prison, et cetera? How did that timing line up?

SPEAKER_03 32:10

So uh my son when I when I went in to um to the system was 14 years old. Okay. And I came home um in time to help him move after he graduated college. So that was it was eight years. And um and uh I have a son's story uh that we could talk about uh uh after I've just I just want to get through this one part here because um because in the federal system, um you have decisions to make. First of all, I I could have walked 20 feet in any direction and satisfied any craving that I had for a substance while I was inside on the blocks or the or the uh units. And uh so yeah, you have decisions to make while you're there. I could have gotten into a uh a criminal aspect there very easily. Um, or I could have made a decision to continue my walk with the Lord and and see who I would gravitate to of like mine. And I gotta tell you guys, and we and uh we talked about it. If I were ever able to put my story to paper, um I would call it rainbows and razor wire because of the contrast, the dichotomy of what I experienced there. I it is exactly what you think it is. It's prison. And um you can choose to operate pretty much in any way that you'd like or associate with pretty much anyone that you wish. And um the razor wire part of it is very real. It's very real. I just never expected, I call it the rainbow. Uh, the rainbow part of that, which is the bright part of rainbows. I've always I've always experienced joy when I see a rainbow as a child. And and I experienced joy and relationship and love um with many of the men that I came across in there, and not just the inmates, uh, some of the guards um were just wonderful people uh who did not uh you know, the stigma of a prison guard didn't apply to many of them. They were great guys and women. Um so uh and the and the beautiful thing is um and and all the while, once again, I'm still praying for my appeal to go through with a with lesser time. Um it didn't happen. And uh but the the the men that I met in there, I am still in touch with dozens of them. Dozens of them. We're all brothers in Christ. Uh we communicate regularly, and um everyone is still walking uh in lockstep for the most part with the Lord. Uh and um it's just it's just such it's so refreshing to to share how everyone's doing out there, uh out here uh and and living the life that we talked about when we were inside. So so it was a it was a uh quite a unique experience for me. And um, and the Lord did not uh answer my my prayer uh that I kept praying um for less time and get back to do this and get back to do that. I'm ready now, you know I'm ready, and he and oh he said, no, uh, you may be ready, but I'm not. And so um so I finished out my time and and I came home. So uh and I stayed connected, and there were a couple of the guys who I was inside with were right here in the Pittsburgh area, so we connected quickly, and and we became members of similar ministries or the same ministries, uh, a couple of them, and remained in contact. And uh one of the one of the men that came home before me, we had talked about and written a business plan for a re-entry initiative in the Pittsburgh area. And but it and I he took it home. He he got out like five years before me, and he made it work. Uh, he made it work. It was a re-entry initiative, uh, worked out working out of a warehouse in the south side. So when I came home, I went to work there, uh, doing business development and things like that. And then um as I as I matured in my relationship with Christ, and I matured in my um prayer walk with Christ, I changed my prayer. Um, and my my prayer became, you know, dear Lord, I just do what you will with me. Do what you will with me. I'm here. I pray that your will be done in my life. Place anything that you want in front of me that will advance your kingdom. And I and I tell and I say this a lot, uh, you know, it was like it because it it was almost immediate. At that moment, God must have just sat back and said, now watch me work, because that's what I've been waiting for. You know, and one day I'm down on the south side in the warehouse, and I just happened to be down there. I wasn't scheduled to be there. And uh Dan, uh the fellow that came out and got things up and running and put me to work down there, introduced me to a woman who um wanted to do a re-entry home or some type of a uh an initiative to help men and women coming from incarceration, transition into life, job placement, spiritual awareness, things like that. And he was asking me if I would be interested in helping her out. I said, Oh my gosh, yeah. Uh and he said, Well, she happens to be here, and her intentions were to um to open it in Clariton. So uh so uh Joyce uh was a retired state parole agent, Pennsylvania State Parole agent. And she worked in Clariton for 22 of her 25 and a half years as a parole agent. And so she uh she started talking about what she wanted to do. And there were a couple of council people from Clariton there who were in support of her um efforts, and we just talked and we talked. And then um I said, Yeah, I want to help. I want to help. Let's start having meetings. We can meet, we meet at Labella Bean for a cup of coffee and start going over things and et cetera, et cetera. And uh we became friends and we became very close and we fell in love. And uh Joyce is my wife now. Wow. So so here I am, the ex-con, and I'm I'm married to the retired State Freud, which which was a surreal thing for a long time for me. Wrapped my head around it.

SPEAKER_00 39:34

God has a sense of humor, Jim, doesn't he?

SPEAKER_03 39:36

He doesn't he he definitely has a sense of humor, but but the but he definitely does, but but the connection was made. And and it's only God's work. It's only God's work. It's only God's time they could do that. So we went to work and we were in court for five years fighting an occupancy permit. Uh there were some local politico against us. Uh we we had a fire in the place right after we got it all painted, burned right up through the middle of it. We had to start all over again. Um, you know, and uh but we we fought it all the way to State Superior Court and we were awarded the occupancy permit. And now that it's a Catholic church and rectory, the former St. Paulinus in Clariton is the cornerstone residence for veterans. Um and it's uh it's up and running right now. Um it would we we self-funded the whole thing, and which is why I got back into business, Luke, which is how how our paths ended up crossing was we had to um we had to figure out a way to support the cornerstone and to sp and to keep our lives going as well. So um so it just it was a it's just a wonderful thing. We've had so much support and so much help um from so many people, uh keep keeping things going and get and getting things up and running. And it's just a perfect example of God's hand just reaching in when He knows we need it most, not when we think we need it most. And and uh Um nothing to any excess, just hey you guys, I got you. You know, like we're gonna be good. You're gonna we're gonna get you through this. And and we got through it. And it's it's just a beautiful place. It's a 13,000 square foot rectory that um we have veterans in. And uh their lives are changing. I mean, we uh and and it's it's so refreshing and and so good to me because many of them have come through the same type addictions that I came through, and they're and they're finding their ground.

SPEAKER_01 41:46

But Jim, how how old were you when you ended up starting TriLink?

SPEAKER_03 41:52

Uh 60. 60. Hello? 59. 59 years old. And um it was I've always I've always liked small business. I've I've had I've owned my own small businesses over the years. I've run businesses and it comes second nature to me. And uh the nice, the beautiful thing is um my wife Joyce works here. Uh my son Nate, who I I I left when he was four turning 15 years old, 14 years old, works here. Uh Paul came up and tapped me on the shoulder while we were talking. He probably wanted some camera time because that's who Paul is. But uh he's a dear, dear friend of mine. And uh we have friends and family that work for us. My daughter-in-law works for us. So um, so it's it's once again, it's just divine appointment by the Lord that we we just surrender to and and allow allow him to do his work. And we and we we've been very fortunate. You know, we we he's prospered us in so many ways. And I'm not talking about money, I'm talking about um spiritual, spiritually, physically, our mental well-being, uh, the the reconnection of my family. But um, and you asked earlier about the story of Nate. Well, Nate, Nate, um, who works for us, uh, my first wife and I, Trina, um adopted Nate and brought him home when he is a day old. And um when I came back uh from prison, and and I was living uh with uh Joyce at the time, so it'd been a while since I'd been back. Nate wanted to come down here and live with us and look for work and want to stay in this area here. So yeah, come on down, you know. And then when he came down, I said, hey, let's uh let's do that 23andMe. Let's figure, let's figure out your lineage. I always I know he was curious and I wanted to know too. So we did it, and we get it back. And uh his mimics mine very closely Mediterranean, um, Northern Africa. You know, my my family's Lebanese. His lineage is from that part of the country, from that part of the world, Libyan. And then he has Italian, Greek, all that stuff, all the same stuff that I have. And I thought, well, that was cool. And then about two years later, my wife was up in Canada visiting her sister. And she called me and she told me about this really cool 23andMe story about how somebody connected with someone who they never knew, this, that, and the other thing. I said, Well, that's odd. I have a huge family, and I don't have anybody connecting with me on this, you know. So she walked me through making it public. And so I did. And the next morning I got up, I had first, second, third cousins all over the country, 1,500 or so. But at the top of the list, I have a son. So I have a biological son at the top of this list who I never knew about. I had a relationship with a girl when I first got out of the Navy. We dated for about a month. We broke up. I came back to Pittsburgh. We were in Virginia Beach. I came back to Pittsburgh and she was from Texas. And I and we didn't have internet or Facebook or anything then. It was, you know, we didn't have cell phones, nothing. So we never communicated again, but it turned out that she was pregnant. And she gave birth to this child and I had no idea. And um she put him up for adoption. So my son Nate at home is adopted. Um this this child's uh mother put him up for adoption. Well, it within minutes of that 23 and me going public, I see I've been looking for my birth parents. Uh the message from that's this man. And um so we start communicating. So it's it's funny because um his name is also Nate. So I have two Nates. Crazy. Uh yeah. I mean I know when you told me that the first time, Jim, I couldn't believe it. It still gives me goosebumps. And they're pretty much the same age, right? Or close to? But they're they're nine years apart. But okay, nine years. I gotta tell you, uh, so we call we call so Nate's um uh uh adoptive parents uh moved up to Cleveland. They took him to Cleveland. So we call him Nate P.A. in Nate Ohio. So Nate P.A. is the the boy I adopted in Nate Ohio is my biological son who was adopted by just a wonderful couple. Um and we just continue to communicate. I took it, I I kind of held back because I did not want to tread on his parents in any way, shape, or form until they got comfortable with me. But um so on November 19th, 2019, we all decided to meet at Scolio's up in Green Tree. And uh Nate Ohio and his girlfriend at the time, Lisa, and Nate PA and his girlfriend at the time, Cascade, and Nate Ohio's adoptive parents, and Joyce and I all met at Scolio's, and it was uh it was remarkable. It was remarkable. But uh I gotta tell you that um my two sons uh first of all, we are thick as thieves, all of us. And my my two boys, they were both raised as only children, Nate PA and they don't have and when they met and when they uh uh began to get to know each other, they just love each other, they just loved on each other. They're they are brothers um with a bond that I I'm just absolutely in awe of. They get together quite regularly. Uh my my Nate P I'm sorry, but Nate PA got married in um November of 24. Nate Ohio was his best man. Man. Nate Ohio got married in May of 25. Nate PA was his best man. Um so now they're both married to the girls that they brought to that dinner that night. And um Nate PA has given us a granddaughter who's now about 15 months old and his and cascade, his wife is expecting in October for our first grandson. So um now I tell you something. We talk about God's timing. This connection could have happened at any other point in my life, it would have been a disaster. An absolute I would have made sure of it in my in the in my in the ways that I was behaving. So um so uh that that is uh it God has woven in my life uh such an incredible tapestry um that it I mean there's there's not none of this happens by it's impossible to imagine that this happens by chance. The God's hand is in everything that I do in my life, and um and and my connection, and this is a this is a prime example of the connections that um that he makes for the benefit of his kingdom if we're willing to surrender and submit to his request. So so that's um I think that's pretty much my story in that show, unless I've missed anything. I don't know. No, that's that's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 49:42

That's not yeah, yeah. That's an incredible story, Jim. What a redemptive story, too. And just like you said, the divine timing and connections that came up through. It's amazing. Um, I was listening here and then also on the uh an earlier podcast you did, and you talked about um the importance of a group of men in your life. I think it might be these men that you're within now. Are you in like a community of other men currently?

SPEAKER_03 50:09

Yeah, there's an there's a wonderful organization locally, uh headed up by Leo Wisnowski, and um uh it's it's called Locking Arms Men. And uh it's funny, if you're local to Pittsburgh, once again, this is an appointment. Uh, you know, when I was down in the south side of Pittsburgh, um, I met a man by the name of Twinch Oaken. Um, Twinch was a uh Pittsburgh Steeler, got Super Bowl rings. He was doing something for the radio station he worked for down there. I had an opportunity to meet him, and uh we had a nice conversation. And then about six or eight months later, um, I saw him at a men's breakfast uh at the Bible chapel over here in South Hills. And uh and I we were talking about some things, and I was telling him about Cornerstone and the progress that we'd made, we'd made there. And I was looking for, I said, I really want to connect with some guys, Tunch. He said, Hold on a second. He so he said, Come with me. So we go over and and Tunch introduced me to Leo, uh, who was the executive director of Locking Arms. And um, you know, it's it's a it's this amazing group of men who are uh looking to expand the kingdom sincerely, um, selflessly. Um we just had a fundraiser last night for an academy out of South Sudan, uh, where we're putting some money together to help them. Um every Thursday night we have we call them huddles. It's a it's a very football-centric type deal. If you knew some of the guys were involved with it, I'm not gonna be name-dropping, but that's the reason for it. So we we have huddles every Thursday night um all around Washington and Allegheny County, but we have one here at our office on Thursday nights, and we get together and we and we're transparently talk about each other, about our lives, and we talk about the Lord. That's fine. And we get into the word and we sh and we share the Holy Spirit.

SPEAKER_00 52:06

Yeah. The reason I the reason I ask you that is um obviously I think Luke's told you a little bit about the church dad mission, right? Um, but we're around in a fatherhood and how can we be the men that God's called us to be in our lives in in our family. But um, one of the things that we always talk about here is how do we protect ourselves from the drift, right? And get ourselves as men out of isolation. Um, and part of that, it's um not isolated from technically just people in general, but isolated and trying to do it ourselves and isolated from other men. And, you know, we always talk about going in brotherhood. And one of the the core foundations of church that's what we're trying to do is get men out of isolation. That started with me and Luke, right? Seeing that need in our life, but coming alongside other men and this accountability discipleship type groups. So tell us, because I I loved hearing that in your story, because tell us what what has that meant to you as not only a Christian father, but a Christian man of God to have those other men. And I love the, I love the the name of it, locking arms, right? But tell us how how important that has been for you and how you can maybe encourage other guys that are listening right now that might not have those groups or other men in their life. There's two or three other guys that they can really link arms with. Tell us how that has meant to you and that the purpose of that.

SPEAKER_03 53:20

Well, that boy, that's a wonderful question and or uh or wonderful that you asked me to respond to that because um as men, we hold a lot of things in. We we we're not going to share our pain, we're not gonna share our weakness, we're not going to share our shortcomings that we have in our relational lives and the lives of our children. Um we simply do not have a tendency to share that, which to your point, Mark, uh leads us to draw withdrawal and isolate. And and you can't go to afternoon tea and share it with a mixed group of men and women, right? You can't, you know, you're that's a good way of putting it, yeah. So so uh and it and many times it comes out it in as rage and anger um to people who we really shouldn't be raging and angry uh to. Um it's it's the nature of the beast of being a man, right? It's getting together, connecting with men, um, and and discovering that some of the things that we're most uncomfortable with, guys, uh transparency, showing emotion, exposing our weakness. Um it's funny how everyone, all of us men experience the same uh weakness, uh, same closed offness, the same um in our minds failure, regardless of what it is, right? Whether we whether we can run a mile in six minutes or whether we can't uh have a good conversation with our wives. I mean, we we take that very personally. To be able to dis to t discuss that with other men, and um men, it's men specifically, and to be able to listen to them open up to you uh and share and then network when we're not sitting in a room together throughout a day, throughout a week, um, and throughout our lives is extremely powerful. There's a lot to be said, a lot to be said for the way one man will hold another man accountable that no one else will. And the way and the power that that one man praying for another or praying with another has. Um the things that we that we avoid. That's a that's wonderful that he asked me to respond to that because it's had a profound impact on my life.

SPEAKER_00 55:55

It's good. Yeah. Thanks for that. Yeah, Luke and I were just talking before this podcast. We have a group of guys, we're going through a um, we call it Dad Core 70. It's a Dad Core 70 challenge, but it's a challenge just around the uh foundations of being a father, you know, abiding in Christ, um, pursuing our wives, you know, discipling our kids and you know, taking care of our bodies, right? It's the four kind of basic pillars. And we have a a text group going on right now. And it's just it's incredible to see how we're struggling, maybe not the exact same things, but a lot of the same areas. Um for men to be able to relate only how we can as men and dads together, it's it's that almost so that that comfort, like, hey, we're we're we're all we're all handling this, right? We're all going through this. Let's go through it together, sharpen one another, but we're not alone in this. We're not alone. Like in the struggle. And the job, like you said, is like holding each other accountable so we don't drift, but just the encouragement side of it too, like lifting up each other for wins, too. Um and just connecting and like, hey, there no, there's other men going through this. You're not sometimes we think we're the only ones and we're holding it in. It's like, no, we're all in this together.

SPEAKER_03 57:10

That's absolutely right. And you and you mentioned um uh sharpening. I mean, our our tagline is as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens the other. And and and there are going to be sparks. Right. The the accountability thing is huge. Right. Uh it it it never it doesn't get out of hand, but but it it it you know, when you're holding someone accountable for uh what you see it to be true, um it it sparks may sparks may fly. But um so Leo Leo likes to say um how's it go? A friend is built for love, but a brother is built for adversity. And as brothers in Christ, we we are called to to help each other handle the adversity um that we're experiencing and share the joy and the love that comes along with um the brotherhood and the fellowship.

SPEAKER_00 58:09

But yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 58:10

More men need to get together.

SPEAKER_00 58:12

I love it. I love it.

SPEAKER_03 58:14

That's great, Jim. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 58:15

Yeah, we really appreciate you being on. Um, I think the two things, the big things, there's a lot there in your story of God's goodness and grace, but I think the two things of encouragement and challenge is one, there's hope. There's always hope in Christ, just hearing your story and how he's taken you redeemed that. And then two, don't go out, don't go at that alone. You know, go along with another brother in Christ. Um kind of the two big things. So uh no, we've we've enjoyed this, Jim. You really blessed um blessed us with your story, and I know it's gonna really resonate with a lot of men out there right now. Um so we'd we really appreciate that. We'll we'll try to um get all those links um from your your ministries. Really cool to see what you're doing with Cornerstone. Um, even your roofing company remind me of, you know, a modern day Paul in tent making, right? You're you're you're uh creating creating revenue to pour into kingdom work, right? Um in your ministry. And that's that's a challenge to us because Luke and I have always th thought about that ourselves, um how we can do that. Um so uh we'll really appreciate you. We'll try to link um to those things on our podcast. Um and yeah, anything uh else, Luke? I thank you for bringing Jim to us, Luke. Luke's always got all the good connections for podcast hosts.

SPEAKER_01 59:26

I don't know about that, but I thanks again, Jim. And if you wouldn't mind, uh could you maybe just close us out in prayer? You're asking me to? Yes, please.

SPEAKER_03 59:36

I would love to, of course. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 59:37

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 59:38

Dear Lord, thank you for this time together, thank you for this fellowship. So grateful to uh be in the presence of these men and to be able to share my story uh in a way, dear Lord, that only you can uh put the words in my mouth. And it is deeply appreciated. Dear Lord, touch others, touch others with the words that you've given me to put forth today, touch others with the words that uh Luke and Mark have spoken today. Lift up their lives, dear Lord, stir into their lives uh power where pain exists and fellowship where loneliness exists and isolation exists, dear Lord. Many lost souls out there, Lord, that we want to bring to your kingdom. And with your help and your will, we will be a sex, we will be successful. We pray that you give us the strength and armor us with your armor in the precious name of Jesus. Amen. Amen. Well, thank you, Jim.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:27

Thank you, Luke. Thank you, everybody. Um, follow us wherever uh you know podcasts are available or on there. And if you think of anybody you could share this um episode with, please share it with them because you never know how the Lord's gonna use it. So we appreciate it, guys. Um, and we'll we'll see you guys next time on the Church Dead podcast. Thank you, guys.