How Single Women Can Live a Better Story

Singleness is often treated as a time for self indulgence or a throw away season until real life begins—but is that how Scripture actually describes it?

In this episode, Heather talks with Lydia Edmonds about her article “How Single Women Can Live a Better Story.” Together they address what it means that we are created for good works in every season, how single women should be preparing for marriage, and why this topic of singleness is an important conversation the church needs to recover. Whether single or married, this episode will encourage women to see their current season not as a placeholder, but as a meaningful part of the story God is writing.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Single life may be only a stage of a life's journey, but even a stage is a gift. God may replace it with another gift, but the receiver accepts his gifts with thanksgiving. This gift for this day. The life of faith is lived one day at a time. And it has to be lived, not always looked forward to as though the real living were just around the corner. It is today for which we are responsible. God still owns tomorrow. Excerpt from Let Me Be a Woman by Elizabeth Elliot. Many of us are familiar with the moving story of Elizabeth and Jim Elliot. A young missionary couple, they sadly were only married for a short time when Jim's life was taken by the hands of the Alka tribe natives, who he was trying to evangelize. Elizabeth, only 29 at the time, was left a widow with an infant daughter in a foreign land. This short period of time that Elizabeth spent married is what we often associate her with. What is not as commonly talked about, however, is the many long years she spent as a single woman. Before she became a well-known author and missionary, Elizabeth Elliot spent many years as a single woman, wrestling with the same questions and struggles many women wrestle with today. She struggled with the fear of missing God's will, of knowing what his ultimate purpose was for her, and the agony of waiting in general. But through it all, the thing that marked her life the most was a fierce devotion to God. Elizabeth rejected the idea that singleness was a holding pattern. For her, faithfulness in the present moment was the entire Christian life. She chose to live her single years as a time of preparation. Before marrying Jim Elliot, she spent years studying theology, missions, and linguistics. She was dedicated to disciplining her heart, mind, and body for the purpose of serving and obeying Christ. Although Elizabeth deeply desired marriage and struggled with the long five and a half year courtship between herself and Jim, she famously prayed, I realize that the deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by his letting us have our way in the end, but by his making us wait, bearing with us in love and patience until we are able to honestly pray what he taught his disciples to pray. Thy will be done. When she eventually did marry Jim Elliot, it ended up proving to be another point of surrender, for after only two years of marriage, she was widowed. This then led to another period of singleness that lasted 13 years. But her response was the same principle she had lived in her single years: obedience in the present moment. She once wrote, The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances. During these years of singleness and widowhood, Elizabeth Elliot sought to be as fruitful and productive for the kingdom of God as she could. She raised her daughter, wrote books, and discipled women around the world, teaching them about surrender and biblical womanhood. Although she did marry a second time after those 13 years of singleness, this marriage was sadly also short-lived. When after only four years she found herself a widow again. In speaking of her widowhood, she once said, I don't know any more accurate way of putting it than to say, He has given me something. He had given me a gift. Widowhood, she said. I've come to understand that even suffering, through the transforming power of the cross, is a gift. For in this broken world, in our sorrow, he gives us himself. In our loneliness, he comes to meet us. Elizabeth's life is a powerful testimony to us that God does not waste seasons. Her famous words, do the next thing, have become a mantra that not only serve to remind her of her duty in the midst of waiting and loss, but they remind us of what our calling is, no matter what season of life we find ourselves in. In today's episode, we're talking about a topic that touches far more women than we often acknowledge in the church: singleness and purpose. My guest, Lydia Edmonds, recently wrote an article titled How Single Women Can Live a Better Story, and it addressed some of the competing messages single Christian women hear today. On the one hand, the culture tells women to build a life centered on themselves and their own fulfillment. On the other hand, some voices within the church subtly communicate that a woman's real usefulness doesn't begin until she is married. The result is that many single women are left confused about their purpose, unsure of where they fit in the life of the church, and quietly wondering if they are somehow living a lesser story. And yet, this is the conversation that is often neglected or avoided altogether in many Christian spaces. But in a time when so many women are being discipled by the culture instead of the church, this is a conversation we simply cannot afford to ignore. In our conversation, Lydia and I unpack why both of those narratives fall short of what Scripture teaches. We talk about what it actually means that we are God's workmanship created for good works, and why that mission isn't postponed until a certain stage of life. We also explore what fruitfulness looks like in seasons of singleness, how women can resist comparison and discontentment, and how the church can better encourage single women to live boldly and faithfully right where God has placed them. And while this conversation is especially meaningful for single women, it's also deeply relevant for married women. Because when we understand that God's calling is about faithfulness and obedience in every season, it reshapes how we view our own lives and how we encourage the women around us, whether they are single, married, widowed, or somewhere in between. My hope is that today's episode will help all of us see more clearly that every season of life is an opportunity to live faithfully for his kingdom. The Keeping the Citadel Podcast exists to embolden women to transform their homes and lives into shining citadels for the glory of Christ and the spread of his kingdom. Hey friends, welcome back to the Keeping the Citadel Podcast. My name is Heather Faria and I am your host. I'm very excited to dive into this discussion with you all. I think this is going to be such a great topic that is so needed in our culture today. Before we jump into today's conversation, though, and introduce our guest, I'd like to share just a quick housekeeping note. If keeping the Citadel has encouraged you, would you take a moment to subscribe and leave a review that really helps this message reach more women who need to be reminded that biblical womanhood is still good, still beautiful, and still worth fighting for. I also wanted to let you know that if you have questions or would like to leave some feedback for an episode, you can actually send me a text through your podcast player. I won't be able to reply back, but if you leave your name and email, I could try to email you back that way or respond to your question in a future episode. Also, if today's episode blesses you, please share it with a friend. This mission of strengthening women and building strong homes for the glory of God isn't meant to be carried alone. So we need you to help get the word out. Finally, one last thing. If you love what you're hearing here and you wan want to go deeper, you can subscribe to the Keeping the Citadel magazine where we expand on each theme of the podcast and bring practical discipleship into everyday life. Right now you can use the code FREESHIPPING, that's free shipping all in caps, to get free shipping off your first issue that you subscribe to. Orders for our spring issue have already closed, but if you get in now, you'll be set to receive the summer issue when it releases. So don't wait. With that out of the way, let's get into today's conversation. All right. So I am so excited to introduce a very special guest today, as well as one of the regular contributors to the Keeping the Citadel magazine, Lydia Edmonds. Lydia Edmonds is one of the co-hosts of the Feminine Glory podcast and co-owner of the Feminine Glory store. Known for her sharp wit and love of growing flowers, she crafts stunning floral bouquets straight from her garden and sells farm fresh eggs from her chickens, who she thinks have more personality than most people she meets. You guys can follow Lydia at the Feminine Glory Podcast, the Feminine Glory store, and Feathers and Florals Farmerette on Instagram. So, Lydia, welcome. Thank you so much for coming on today. Thank you for having me. I'm honored to be here. Awesome. I'm so happy to have you. So you guys might remember from my last episode that I interviewed Esther Edmonds, and Lydia, of course, is her sister.

SPEAKER_02 9:46

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 9:46

And so I had the privilege of meeting Lydia and her family online when I first began keeping the Citadel. Uh, I think I mentioned last time that one of the things that drew me to them was that I was just so struck by the way this family is so intentional to live really with passion for the Lord in everything they do. It just oozes out of their entire family culture. And so um, it's just been such a joy getting to know you, Lydia, and your family these past several months. And I've been so grateful to have you guys all on board for the magazine and just writing several articles. And I am so thankful to have you here today. So yeah, thank you for being here.

SPEAKER_01 10:28

The we are so grateful for the opportunity and getting to meet you and just kind of even the how funny it is, you know, that we're on opposite sides of the country, you know, you're on the East Coast, and just that but that connection has been really cool.

SPEAKER_00 10:39

So Yeah, yeah. We are literally as far as you can get on opposite sides of the country. Yeah. Um, I know it's but it isn't it cool how God will still bring these people together who are in different places and are still able to work um on mission together. I just I just love that about especially about this work that we're doing here, you know.

SPEAKER_01 11:00

I wholeheartedly agree.

SPEAKER_00 11:02

Yeah. So, Lydia, can you tell us a little bit about you and your story and what you do? Just share a little bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_01 11:10

Sure. Yeah. So um, much like Esther, I think Esther said this as well. Grew up in a Christian home, um, was raised according to the biblical standard of Scripture, which I have just come to love. I just love the standard that our parents have set forth based off of the Bible. Um, have three wonderful siblings that we just all kind of give each other a hard time, but they are just the best. I love them so much. Um always pushing me to be better, to do more. And honestly, keeping up with them is just a full-time job in and of itself. They are crazy busy. But um yeah, I love all things coffee, puzzles. I love being outside. Yeah, as you mentioned, I love my chickens, flowers, just anything agricultural, pretty much, just being in the beauty of creation. Um, and then just I love practicing homemaking skills alongside my mom and sister. We have lots of traditions in the kitchen um and serving my family in that way and just being with the body of believers that we have here in Georgia. It's been a gift to get to know them recently. And so, yeah, that's kind of my story.

SPEAKER_00 12:11

That's awesome. I love that. And uh, for those of you who are subscribers to the magazine, you guys will be getting a uh very special floral tutorial here in your upcoming magazine, which will be shipping out soon. Probably, I don't know if um if this episode will come out before you guys receive the magazine or not. But um yeah, spring, spring magazine subscribers will be getting a special treat from Lydia this issue. Yeah, that was so fun to make. Thank you for the opportunity. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, so we're talking, though, about your winter article, which can you share the title of it?

SPEAKER_01 12:48

Yes, how single women can live a better story.

SPEAKER_00 12:52

Yes. So, Lydia, in your article, you talk about two sets of lies, those from secular and those from misguided Christian voices. Can you unpack how these lies impact the hearts and minds of single Christian women today, especially this idea that single women can't be fruitful apart from marriage?

SPEAKER_01 13:13

Yeah, so I'll start with the first lie I laid out in the article, which is um the lie of feminism. So basically, when you hold the lie of feminism up to the standard of scripture, essentially says that when God designed women to be homemakers, to be helpers and amplifiers to their husbands, to be fruitful, to beautify the world around them, he basically made a horrendous mistake. Like this cannot be the quote unquote meaningless work that women were actually made for. And the really important work happens only in the sphere that the men work in. So out in the, you know, the corporate business world. And so this lie often causes um single women to forsake the idea that the um to forsake the idea of the home in the sense that they put off marriage or they put off having kids and they focus only on, you know, being someone, rising to the top. And this lie, sadly, often carries with it the idea that children are a nuisance, so you see then the rise of abortion or the idea that, you know, caring for your parents with medical issues is somehow going to hold you back from that mission of pursuing only career. And so at the heart of that lie is a lot of um selfishness and ingratitude for what God has actually made women for. Um so that's kind of that lie in that side of things. And you have the second one which carries the idea that women cannot be fruitful unless they are married. Um, and so this causes a lot of um young women to be extremely discontent with their singleness, which is already sadly quite a problem in and of itself. Yeah. Um and it also causes a lot of young women to then make a career out of finding a husband. So it's kind of the flip side of feminism where career is, you know, just in the business world. Then on this side, they focus on making a career out of finding a husband, things like that. And so a lot of young ladies in this sphere will then, you know, travel to all the different Christian conferences all over the country searching for Mr. Wright until they finally find him. And it often I see with this a lot, sadly, that a lot of young women um settle for a guy that may they may even have theological differences with simply because they think they're in a state where they're sinning because they're not married. And so once again, in that same side, you have discontent, envy, selfish women who are constantly looking for something better around the next corner rather than seeing that they can be fruitful with where they are and what they've been given.

SPEAKER_00 15:26

That's so insightful. I I definitely see both of these ditches in the world that we have, both in just secular culture, but also in the church today. Um and but I I think uh, you know, that we have to find that middle ground. We have to find that that place because it is good to pursue marriage. It is good to hope and pray that the Lord will bless us with marriage, but it absolutely can become an idol um if if we're not attending to our hearts and like you were saying, seeing what our purpose is as a woman. Yes. Yeah. So you write about in your article, you wrote about being fruitful in every season. What does fruitfulness look like practically for single Christian women? And how would you practice being fruitful in your own life right now as a single woman?

SPEAKER_01 16:18

So um I'll start with the just kind of for women in general, single women in general. It looks like basically excelling in all that you have been given to do. So uh studying and learning with excellence or being artistic and creative in ways that uh bless your church. Um it looks like honing in all of your skills as well as learning new ones so that when you are married one day, you'll be able to then bless your family with the abundance of the riches of all of the skills that you have acquired and all that you've learned and accomplished thus far. And so for me personally, I'm obviously not the standard of perfection when it comes to being fruitful as a single Christian woman, but some examples of things my parents have encouraged me to do or my siblings have encouraged me to do, and just things I've set in motion now would be like learning as much as I can now. So reading like crazy so that I'll be a better soldier in the culture war, so that I'll be um competent enough to run a household under the leadership of a husband and also educate his children one day so that they can be dragon slayers equipped to then go fight the culture war after me. Um it looks like, you know, mastering popovers or chocolate bobka to bless my mom and sister, honing in those kitchen skills. It looks like learning to garden with excellence in order to bless my family and community. It looks like, you know, doing floral workshops for the ladies at my church so then they can then go beautify their homes. Um, you know, it looks like learning to do the dishes and the laundry with joy and excellence or caring for the chickens and then selling in eggs so making an income in that. Um, and then just also just kind of as a whole mastering my schedule in such a way so that I can then um turn a profit on my time so I'm not allowing, you know, these things to run me, but I have run them in such a way that they're kind of working for me. And then also I think it just helps women when you do all of these things, when you seek to be fruitful with what you've been given, it makes you a better and more interesting friend now. And it'll also help you be a better homemaker. So it kind of is like a a double blessing in that sense.

SPEAKER_00 18:21

Yeah, yeah, I love that. And what I really hear you saying with all these things that you're saying that you're working on and bring being fruitful in your own life is that um in this season of singleness that you're in right now, you're not looking at this as a time to um just pursue your own self-interest for the sake of um a life centered on whatever you want and however, you know, everything that you were saying was for the purpose of blessing your family, blessing your church community, um, learning how to grow in greater skills so that you could continue pouring out. And I think um that really gets to the heart of what we are made for because I think regardless of if we are single or if we are married, the Bible is clear that we are made to bring him glory and um we're made for good works. And so I think as women, uh, we need to learn what, okay, so God, I I'm created for his glory and I'm created for good works, but how do I put that into practice as a woman? You know, how can I, how can I live to glorify him in in a feminine capacity versus just in in this kind of like neutral way that the world likes to paint everything as, you know, um where we don't have specific gender roles or uh it doesn't matter if if women pursue these very masculine type careers or uh you know what I mean? Um that that we are supposed to be fruitful in every season, but the just all the ways that you were describing were were very feminine pursuits, and I just really love that about you.

SPEAKER_01 19:56

And if I could just g kind of give an encouragement to moms in this, I learned this definitely from both of my parents, but uh particularly from my mom as well, just because I was, you know, we were homeschooled, so I was with her all the time. Um and so just to also encourage moms in that season, like your work does matter in that sense that you are providing your children um with an image of what you know being a Christian looks like, what Christian joy looks like, and so continue to uh keep up the good work in that fight because it it does eventually pay off.

SPEAKER_00 20:26

Oh yes, one hundred percent. Um so yeah, I mean, I like we were just saying, we're talking about good works and being created for good works. And this is um something that you really emphasized a lot in your article is how we are God's workmanship created for good works. So um how can you how can understanding this identity transform the way a single woman approaches her daily life? And can you give some examples of some of these good works that single women might overlook but are really are these kingdom building things that we should be pursuing? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:02

So I think like it causes having an understanding of that you are God's workmanship and you are created for good works, I think it causes an overall joy and gratitude. Um, because like if you think about it, having an understanding of the fact that not only did God create you and me in his image, not only did he redeem us by dying in our places on the cross, but then he then sought to redeem us, he redeemed us to something which is good works. And these good works, as it says in Titus, Jesus gave himself for to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works. And when you have that framework and you approach each day with that framework, you can't help but live on mission and be purposeful and intentional with your time because you understand like the importance of the good works and how your good works then build the kingdom. And obviously, just the fact that Jesus shed his blood not only to save us, but then to redeem us to those good works, I think puts a huge emphasis that we as Christians need to get back that mentality of that emphasis in the culture today. Um and some examples of good works that single women might overlook. One Esther and I know we have been talking about a lot, um, would be like one would be engaging the culture. So taking dominion by you going to an abortion mill to fight for the lives of the pre-born or using your social media page to push back on what the world says being a woman looks like and giving them a a feminine a biblical feminine example. Um and far too often sadly I think Christians swing the pendulum so far away from feminism that we neglect the fact that women also need to be using their voices in the public square so explain uh when you talk about the public square like explain a bit how can a woman who whose primary domain is the home and where she should be tending to the needs of her household um how can she do that like you were saying like going to an abortion mill kind of thing.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

How can she do that in a way that um isn't pulling her away from the duties of a household but uh where she still is like you were saying engaging in um the culture war.

SPEAKER_01 23:10

Yeah so something we learned recently as we were working um for the abolition bill in our state um that sadly did not get passed but um I saw I was very yeah sad about that for you guys. We're gonna keep fighting away though next year we'll bring it back. But um it's um in ways like that what we've learned through that process is like being able it's very easy to uh call and email your legislators to actually get in touch with these people or their secretaries and leave a message for them. And I think that's something a lot of women can be doing even at their homes while you know the kids are napping or you've given them their school assignments for the day. You know, maybe they're taking a test and you have a few minutes to go shoot an email over um to the speaker's office or make the phone call or whatever it may be. And then within that I think this would also be good if you have um older kids um like taking them out actually you know playing a day where you go to the Capitol and you schedule these meetings and ask them like hey can we talk to you about this bill we have concerns about you know this process that y'all are going through we don't agree with what you're doing. So I think in those ways um using the device the phone that we all have that often can be used as a temptation using it for good to then bring change in that way.

SPEAKER_00 24:24

Okay yeah I think I think those are some really great examples because I do see women um a lot of times these days engaging in the in the culture war in in a very masculine way um like for example like running for office or just taking on um a kind of a a cultural fight where this becomes like their whole career, their whole identity. And um I do think that that is is a role that we see more primarily ordained for men in scripture. But I I mean the some of the examples that you were giving uh like you were just saying like making these phone calls, you know, bringing your kids on field trips to these places and exposing them and um from a biblical worldview, you know, like you guys were uh praying outside of the abortion mills or showing up to sing Psalms at these places where you know these ballots are on up for consideration. I think those are great examples of things that we can do even as a family to be to be engaging in that and that that we do have a part to to play in those um in those areas. So yeah I really appreciate that. Um so moving to our next question um we talked about how seasons of singleness have a purpose and God ordains for us to be fruitful in those seasons but uh Pastor Doug Wilson has also talked about the fact that singleness can often be a type of affliction or suffering for those who are in it. What are your thoughts on this and how can a woman who is feeling the sting of her singleness be honest in acknowledging it as a type of suffering without giving way to that discontentment.

SPEAKER_01 26:06

Yeah so um being single it can be hard you know there there's a longing I know that I feel um that you you know you want that longing to be quenched and in in my case I see like the happy marriages of those around me and I I long for that. I see the joy that they have welcoming children into this world and I I long for that. I see the joy of mothers who are you know in the stages of seeing the fruits of their labor paying off in their children now as their children are being sent into the world and I I long for that as well. But um as Jim Elliott once said there's a quote that I just absolutely love he said let not our longing slay the appetite of our living and that's so thin. Like yeah so like I still have a duty to get up every day and fight the good fight. I still need to run the race with endurance and pursue excellence in the midst of my longing and knowing that God is sovereign helps me not be discontent because I know that he is a faithful God who is still very much in control of my story and I see him at work in the lives of where he's gotten my parents up to this point and our family as a whole and so I think also just having a proper understanding and keeping your eyes on the fact that God is sovereign and he is a good and faithful, just God um helps put your eyes on him, therefore easing some of the discontentment in that season.

SPEAKER_00 27:24

Yeah, that's so good. Um I'm reading Jeremiah Burroughs uh The Rare Jewel of Christian contentment right now. And in this section I was reading today he was talking about how um the path to contentment doesn't mean not acknowledging that there is suffering, you know, that there that there is a longing even and um that that even asking the Lord for the thing that you long for is not is not sin. You know, we and uh I also I was reading this in Nancy Wilson's book Single and Satisfied where she was talking about this very topic of singleness as affliction you know that that it's not a sin to keep asking the Lord for a husband if if that's something that you desire. And uh but I think where the sin comes in is where we are not able to um be living in in this current season that we're in or um be taking any amount of joy or you know just only seeing this period that we're in as like this waiting period or lesser stage. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 28:34

Yes. Yeah. And when you were talking about praying it reminded me like I think what you you hit the nail on the head when you were talking about praying persistently like God wants that. And I think sadly a lot of times you know if we don't see an answer um we we stop praying or we're like well it must not be in God's will or I can't tell God I'm feeling discontent right now but understanding like God wants to know those things and you need to be persistently praying. It just it may not be a no, it just may be a not yet.

SPEAKER_00 29:04

Yeah yeah because I I think we we pray from a place of trust and surrender. Um Lord, you know let it whatever your will is um but even to to stop praying for something is when we stop having faith that that God is the God who is the giver of all good gifts and that he that he is faithful to hear our prayers and that he can do miracles. That was something else that Jeremiah was talking about uh Jeremiah Burrows in this chapter that we we should be believing that that he said something so beautiful it was like that he um drops miracles as easily as he does anything else or something like that. I wish I had the quote in front of me right now but I was like that is just so beautiful to think that God can just easily do a miracle as as any other ordinary thing that happens, you know? And we need to to have faith in our hearts to believe that that is a God who we are are trusting and and waiting on whatever his will is.

SPEAKER_01 30:08

Yeah and Esther and I we have an interview coming up where we talk about prayer with someone but they were saying like um to us what may seem like a big prayer to God is nothing. Like there are no big and small prayers to God. They are all exactly the same and so just pray about it understanding that God can do it and he can change the status quo.

SPEAKER_00 30:29

Yes, yes. Yeah I love that so how do you think that how how can we encourage single women to see their current season as full of purpose rather than this waiting period or lesser stage?

SPEAKER_01 30:44

So to start something we talked about is having the understanding of uh being redeemed to something and that is huge because that sets the groundwork of living on mission but then if I can quote Elizabeth Elliott here, she has this quote that I'll then tie into something that I'm also passionate about after I read it. But it says the life of faith is lived one day at a time and it has to be lived and not always looked forward to as though the real living were around the corner. It is today for which we are responsible. God still owns tomorrow. Yeah. And so tying that to uh gardening I would say that each day you live as a single young woman and all Christians really, but particularly young w single women um you are planting seeds and those seeds need to be cultivated. So you need to water them and feed them you need to work with them again and again and again but all the while you need to be doing it in faith understanding that God gives the growth so plant in faith pray to God in faith while understanding that you are planting now things that could bear fruit in a marriage one day. You are setting in motion now habits that you will carry into your marriage. So make sure that you are planting good seeds good seeds in faith and if you have um that kind of mindset stingleness I think seems much more purposeful than people think it is and much like the Christian walk it enables you to walk in everyday faithfulness.

SPEAKER_00 32:07

Yes yeah that's so good. I love that you keep bringing up Elizabeth Elliot because that's who I um shared about in the Cold Open. And uh and she she had these seasons of marriage but she also had seasons of singleness like three different times. Yes and um and so it's it it's so amazing to see how regardless of her marital status she was still seeking to be fruitful in every season um as much as she could for the Lord because her purpose was rooted in how she could be a woman who is pursuing the Lord. And um I I actually had um just a few weeks ago I got to disciple a group of girls who were at my church and it just so happened that they all happened to be single and and I was saying essentially the same thing that you're saying right now is like you, you know, don't don't view this time that you're in as just this this buffer period where you know you kind of get to do your own thing and live for yourself but then you know one day your real life will begin because your real life is now and um you know whether the Lord blesses you with marriage or or he doesn't like you want to make sure that you're living on mission for him no matter what, you know and and also that you're taking this time um like you were you were talking about growing in these skills so that you know Lord willing when you do meet that guy he's getting a good deal when yeah when he gets you as a wife like you know he's getting a woman who who is ready um to take up the task of of being a good and and godly wife.

SPEAKER_01 33:50

And I think it's such a fine balance um which is it's kind of a fine balance of just the Christian life as a whole but then especially it's applicable here with singleness that it's um there's another great quote I'm trying to remember who it's by but it says wherever you are be all there. Yeah um and it might be one of the Elliots but I can't exactly remember but I think that's such a great point of like be where your feet are planted, be producing things now, be fruitful now but then also like um in Pilgrim's progress be looking towards the celestial city and so you know you're keeping your eyes on like where you're going you're keeping your eyes on Christ but all the while building while you go.

SPEAKER_00 34:28

Yes yeah yeah so one thing that um that I think is hard you know for for young women to navigate and also just for parents of daughters to navigate is uh you know we know that it's good to pursue and pray for marriage and we also know that at the same time though that that a woman can't just do nothing her whole life like until the husband comes along and we don't know you know when that husband is come gonna come along like it could be when she's 19 like for me or it could be when she's you know 40 for example and so how can a woman have wisdom in choosing a vocation to be productive in while she is single that won't inhibit her chances of marriage or uh take away from her vocation as a wife should marriage come. So in other words kind of what I'm talking about is what I see a lot is is um girls who who are are growing up, their parents are raising them and they're like, okay, well we don't know if you're gonna get married so let you know go to college, get a career. But then they end up getting this this career that is really just not suited for marriage period. They're taking on a lot of debt, you know um or or they they get in a career that um they kind of get married to and then they're married and they can't give it up. And so in other words how can a single woman choose a vocation that fits in with her calling to be a homemaker and suits her femininity while she is in those single years?

SPEAKER_01 36:03

So I would say a lot of it does depend on like what city you live in, what you're skilled in or you know what your parents have set forth where you kind of the boundaries or whatever. But in in my case as an example um I run the podcast with my sister. We have the store with both my mom and sister. And both of those tasks I can still easily manage when I'm married. So I think things like that are great that if you can have them be working for you um when you're married, like those are very very helpful because then you know maybe it's like okay you still manage it but Esther and I may pass off the store to younger girls behind us that they can kind of do more of the like packing up of the orders and doing the Instagram account. But we can still kind of manage it so it not only blesses them but it's also like working for us. Excuse me. But I was not to mention opportunities for discipleship down the road, you know Oh absolutely though it like it would be perfectly all right for um a young lady to work as a secretary in an office somewhere but fully understanding that once the kids come along she would probably need to give that up unless she can work from home. There's a sweet mom in our church that she does work from home and you know faithfully handles all of her tests. So I think but the biggest part of all of that would just be having your hands open so having a willingness to give up your job um helps with whatever job you choose and so like Esther and I fully understand like okay it may be that we have to give up the podcast one day or the store one day, whatever the case may be but I think just having your hands open to whatever the Lord um puts in front of you next would be the the biggest thing.

SPEAKER_00 37:38

Yeah yeah you guys aren't coming at starting your clothing business as a way to be boss babes. Like but you guys are coming at this from a place of okay this is a something I can do that fits in with my life right now as a way I can be a blessing and use the skills and talents and gifts that God has given me. And um and you know should marriage come this is something that would fit very nicely into um to that that role. So I I always tell young ladies who are kind of considering these things that I mean there's a lot of things that really would just be really great to do in those single years uh to earn money or you know be productive um that really fit in well with you know being a a wife and mom. Like for example being a hairstylist I think that's one of those things that you can do out of your home. You can keep your own schedule um there's like you mentioned like secretarial work. I know so many people who are doing remote work. And um you know I've I've done stuff like that where I'm I even with keeping the citadel like I'm doing this in the evenings or on the weekends when um I'm not homeschooling and these are things that you can kind of fit into your schedule or things like being a doula or um just like entrepreneurship in general I think are things that um that you you fit really nicely into the domestic duties of home life. You know, there's a lot of opportunity for what we're already doing in our homes and how we can turn a actual literal profit on um some of these things. There's so many ways that I've seen just really creative opportunities like um micro bakeries and um homeopathic businesses, things like this that I have seen women do a great job of um tending to the needs of their household and um you know keeping in line with their femininity but they're also still able to bring in some income.

SPEAKER_01 39:44

And I think those stories are so beautiful because when you hear it it's like it just was an overflow of what they were already doing in their home. And those to me are just so sweet to hear those.

SPEAKER_00 39:54

Yeah. Yeah because scripture when it talks about us being keepers of our home it doesn't say that we're never allowed to bring in an income. Right. Um yeah what it what it says is that everything we do needs to be oriented toward the home that that needs to be our top priority and then what we do from there needs to be an overflow of that. And so I think that a lot of times if you are able to have an overflow from your work that results in some kind of monetary income, that can really be a blessing for your family. Especially like I've mentioned before I, you know I live in California where living on a single income is is very challenging for a lot of families. And so the the ditch I see on the other hand is that people think, well, that means you have to be a dual income household and you have to be you know making you know a hundred grand a year or like just as much as your husband or whatever it is, you know, and it's like, okay, well, you know, are you trusting the Lord? Are there things that you can cut around to eliminate in your household to you know make some sacrifices in order for you to be home. But you know there are people who are truly in need of that. And so when you are able to use your skills in a way um that is an overflow of your house but still bring in a bit of that extra income I think that is such a great blessing to be able to offer your husband. Yes. Okay so I want to talk about singles and covenant community. I mentioned the book Single Unsatisfied by Nancy Wilson which is such an encouraging book both to whether you're single or you are married. I think this is a really really great book to know how to thrive in in those single years but also um how to be a blessing to those of the people in our church who are in that season of life. But um in this book she talks about how there are no single people in a covenant community. So what do you think she means by this and how can a single woman see herself not as an individual but as part of a covenant? So I have kind of like and then I have another question I want to ask after that but go ahead and answer that one first. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 42:08

So I think what Mrs. Wilson was uh probably trying to get at there was that the idea that when there is um true Koinonia fellowship in the body when Christians see the body as um one unit renewing covenant with God and then being commissioned as one body to go out into the world to proclaim the gospel, it isn't as if singles are then somehow like the third wheel. You know the the covenant community and the single woman woman herself um would be able to see that the body is a family and then you would be able to see it well you have several brothers and sisters in Christ that you are fighting the culture war alongside and I think that causes single um single people whether it's men and women um of all ages to see themselves less like the solo person, right? Less like the solo girl and more a part of this local body and then also within that just saying that that is still just a fraction of the even bigger body of Christians around the world. So it really just limits any need to feel like you are alone in the body of Christ.

SPEAKER_00 43:12

Mm-hmm. But isn't that just like what we see with this feministic society that we're in right now and even just as Americans where we're trained to see ourselves as individuals, you know? Yeah and and so I think even um like we're all just we forget about the fact that we are not supposed to think of ourselves that way in terms of the body of Christ that we are in covenant with with the body of Christ with our local body of believers. And so we none of us should really be seeing ourselves as individual or um just with the freedom to pursue our own wills at any any point in time, you know?

SPEAKER_01 43:52

And I think it's sad too just because I think a lot of this also stems from the fact not only the feminist side of things but also the fact That we don't have a proper understanding of, you know, the church family as a whole, but then also just the family unit. We ha we as a culture have like almost completely destroyed that. And that is the like one of the bedrock foundations of you know what made America great was having a proper understanding of the um family. And so it's really sad to see that. I definitely think it's something we as Christians need to fight hard to recover because that will be one of the pieces to the puzzle and um helping us not only in fighting the culture war, but then also just um strengthening the body of Christ as a whole.

SPEAKER_00 44:32

Oh, 100%, 100%. It starts with worship and then the family. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so how should a single woman submit herself to a head, though, if she doesn't have a husband? Like how should she think about submission in general?

SPEAKER_01 44:49

And um fathers, of course, would be one way in which you're sub um submitting to a head. I but I also I want to give I also know that there are um, you know, special and interesting cases in which, you know, the daughter is a believer, the father is an unbeliever, and those there can be tension there. So I I understand that. So I think just as a whole, to be um most helpful, it would just that that we Christian women we need to understand that we all serve the same heavenly father, and so submitting to him would be the best example of how single women can submit to a head without being married. And I think having a proper understanding of that will just aid you so much, and understanding that just carrying that into a marriage would just be such a help.

SPEAKER_00 45:34

Yeah, yeah, that's really good. I've um with single women that I've seen in our church, I know that um if they don't have a father or um a godly father in you know, in that regard, they really will look for the I mean, that's what the elders are there for too, you know, that the elders um were commanded to look to the needs of the widows and orphans and kind of the the people on the outs the outskirts. And um and so I do think that in in submitting to your church leadership and and allowing the elders to be the ones who are directing you in terms of um spiritual spiritual guidance and discipleship, um, I think that's also really important for for single women to realize like they're not alone or or without any guidance or or headship or authority in that regard.

SPEAKER_01 46:26

And that would definitely then put an emphasis on finding a uh a healthy local body.

SPEAKER_00 46:31

Yes, absolutely. Definitely finding that solid church. Yes. Okay, so what are some ways that you think the church should do a better job of loving singles in their midst?

SPEAKER_01 46:44

Um, so I know particularly for um single young ladies, oftentimes they can be viewed simply as another babysitter. Um and I do think there is, you know, we need to acknowledge the fact that in this area single women should be ready and willing to help. Yeah. Um, but the church also needs to take the time to talk with and pray with these young ladies and take an interest in them. Um, just as an example, Esther and I, you know, we do have the wonder wonderful opportunity of serving our church by looking after the littles on Sunday. So it's obviously not every Sunday, but where we can help we try. Um but our church also does do a fantastic job at actually engaging with us. You know, they don't just see us as, you know, just another babysitter they can dump the kids on. They they do take the time to talk with us, pray with us, ask us how our week went, you know, they ask us about a podcast in the store, how they can be praying, how we're doing, you know, maybe they saw we got a negative comment. How how did you handle that, you know, whatever. And so I think engaging singles um as fellow brothers and sisters and not only as helpers would be one way that the church um could love the singles in their midst. And also just hospitality, you know, engaging them in that way, having them over for dinner, bringing them into your home, giving them um a wonderful picture of what having a family is like, especially if they didn't have good examples laid out for their parents, uh would be tremendous towards the singles in the church.

SPEAKER_00 48:06

Yeah, I think that's really good. That's really helpful too to think about. Um I think just to be reminded, yeah, to of these of these things that pro uh a lot of times I think other people don't think about or they take for granted, but um are just the really making a huge difference to you guys, you know?

SPEAKER_01 48:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 48:26

Yeah. Um so it seems that the percentage of singles in their 20s to 30s is increasing and prolonged adolescence, even into people's thirties, is just a common thing to see, even in the church today. So do you feel like the modern church as a whole is equipping singles well for the prospect of marriage? Or are churches doing a good job of facilitating marriages and encouraging it as a good thing?

SPEAKER_01 48:53

Um, first I would say that um it the parents haven't done a good job at equipping their children for marriage. So um yeah, I think for many generations, like parents kind of seem to have the idea that, you know, if they could just get their kids to college or if they could just find them a spouse, they could, you know, let go. And so the kids were only prepared for college or only prepared for the wedding day. And so they had no concept of what comes after college or, you know, what comes after the honeymoon, as my mom wrote about in one of her articles. And so, of course, the church um can come alongside singles and give advice, and pastors should be preaching from the pulpit, you know, what a biblical marriage should look like in terms of actually equipping them. Um and but I would say that job falls almost entirely on the parents. Um, but I do I do want to give a caveat here because I know we have to give room for um those singles whose parents, you know, maybe their their parents died or, you know, divorced or whatever, and so their parents didn't equip them properly in those areas. Obviously the church is going to have to step up and they're gonna have a bigger influence in that way. Um, but it it isn't necessarily, I guess, the church's main responsibility, but they definitely should be preaching it from the pulpit and modeling it both in their homes and at the church.

SPEAKER_00 50:12

Yeah. Yeah, I I I definitely think that um the impact of a parent's role in their kids' life is gonna be the primary influence. And so if parents are not telling their kids that this is something you need to be preparing for and something that um is part of of God's design for you, and something that um, you know, you need to be thinking about and looking for, um, I I think that uh the the the culture at large is going to dominate and be the influencer. But one thing I do see with the church is that um I think that that there can be an over-spiritualization where we, I mean, it you know, it's so good to to talk about things in um like the gospel and and um spiritual growth and these things like that. But I feel like a lot of parents like you were talking about are also not being equipped to know, like, well, how do I teach my kid about how to prepare for marriage? You know, how do I help my kid find a godly spouse? And um, and so a lot of parents, like if they're, you know, maybe they weren't discipled and brought up in in these things and they don't even know like how to um to help their kids. And so they're just kind of doing what everyone else is doing and following the same track. And so I I see, at least, at least in the circles that I'm in, where I think something that could be so helpful is just um like really practical discipleship for parents in and singles and being like, okay, here are some ways that we can be practically applying God's word in these areas that will, you know, help make you a good husband or wife, or um, you know, what should you be looking for? How can you be preparing, you know, that kind of thing that I think would be just really helpful. Because there's a lot of people out there who aren't getting guidance and even parents don't have that type of practical guidance, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 52:18

Yeah, and I think for people that are, you know, struggling, they don't even know, obviously, you know, we would say scripture as the standard, but there's so many ways that you can um be aided in that discipleship and figuring it out. Like I know um on the topic of marriage, Pastor Toby Sumter in Moscow, Idaho has been super helpful to us um and in just laying out um a biblical picture of what marriage does look like, biblical definitions of, you know, what is man, what is woman, what are their roles. And so in cases like that, you know, technology kind of can come alongside as a as a gift from the Lord in that sense and really help aid people where, you know, maybe you didn't have parents that helped, or maybe your church isn't quite where you line up theologically, but maybe you can't quite find another one at this time and you're trying to figure all that out. Things like that, um, aid where you can, you know, you can be in contact with pastors from all over the country, all over the world really, who can help aid in that as well.

SPEAKER_00 53:13

Yeah, yeah, those things can definitely be a huge help. And I know Pastor Shoby is so good at at taking scripture and and um, you know, theology applied. Like how can we apply this to these practical areas of Christian living, you know? Yes. Yeah. Um Okay, so I also wanted to talk about how can single women be using these years to prepare for marriage and how well this is actually really ties into what we were just talking about. How how should a single woman today go about finding a godly husband and what should she be looking for?

SPEAKER_01 53:52

So single women should be like being artistic, creative, thoughtful, and industrious with their time. They should be, you know, learning and researching like crazy. They should be um learning to be creative and skilled in the kitchen, they should have um a wide array of um recipes that they can, you know, bring into a marriage one day. They should be learning to to sew, um, to bake. They should be, you know, just killing it with their time now so they have um much to bring um to the table when Mr. Wright does come along. And so just just honing in all of your skills and it'll just make you a more interesting mom and just a more interesting person in general. Um and in terms of finding a godly husband, I would say um prayer. Prayer has been like I think is one of the most important aspects, um, yet sadly one of the more overlooked. I think many people have the idea that, you know, you need to be all over the town searching for a husband, or as I mentioned earlier, that you know, you need to be traveling to all of the Christian conferences searching hither and thither for a spouse. Um, but honestly, I think that displays a lack of trust in the Lord. Like, as long as you aren't living like a hermit, you know, you haven't closed yourself off from society, as long as you actually are being involved in your church community, I would say pray and trust that God who has orchestrated all the events of your life all the way until now can give you a husband without, you know, you being on every dating app that has ever existed. And so prayer, I would say, would would just be one of the biggest um ways when you're looking for a husband.

SPEAKER_00 55:32

Hmm, yeah. Do you do you see um a lot of uh people your age like on the dating apps and like feeling like they need to be on all of them?

SPEAKER_01 55:41

Yes, and it's definitely I want to give a caveat. It's not a sin. Um it's something I have decided I'm not going to use at this time, not to say my convictions may change on that someday, but um I just think when I see, you know, the story of even how my parents got connected and their situation, or you know, the stories of so many people in our church, even like I just have a firm belief in the fact that God can do it without a dating app. And once again, there are beautiful marriages that came about through dating apps. So if that's you know your story, so be it. I just like I I trust that God has got this, and so I'm praying him to him, I'm telling him that I want these things, obviously. It's a part of how God commanded us to be fruitful. Um, but I just trust that God has got it because he has I've seen too many things and how he's worked into my life un up until this point to not trust that he, you know, he couldn't provide me with a spouse. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 56:39

I I love I love hearing the peace and confidence that you have just in knowing like the Lord is gonna make this work out. Um I think that's so good. I I do think that things like like single mixers and and certain dating apps, not all of them, but um certain certain ones can be just really helpful opportunities. Like um, I do think that those are are things, especially just kind of in the world we live in that isn't quite as relational as it as it used to be. I think that those can be really helpful tools that um that that people have found wonderful spouses in, you know. And um I don't I don't think anybody should feel like afraid if you want to try a single mixer or or a certain dating app, um, if if you feel like that's where the Lord is leading. But I like how you talk about just that you, you know, you don't have to rely on that is in like this kind of frenzied state of trying to make it happen. Um and I could see how it be could become like if I don't do all these things, it's not gonna work out. And just um I think whether whether we're using those tools or not, uh just having the heart mindset of confidence and trust and submission that Lord, you are gonna bring this person into my life, whether it is through a dating app or a singles mixer or um, you know, uh, you know, just in my hometown somewhere, going to coffee or at church on the Sunday or whatever however it is, you know, just that that the Lord's gonna bring him at the right time, you know? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And um, like what what do what you say a girl should be looking for in a guy?

SPEAKER_01 58:25

Um, so I would say you need to be looking for a man who is zealous for the Lord. So I he it's very important, I think, that he is also living on mission. You're also seeing the good works fleshed out in his life. He should be courageous and he should be able to stand on biblical conviction. He should be the type of man that, you know, speaks boldly and who seeks to live every day faithfully before the Lord. And I think also something that we can forget about is that he should have a serious sense of joy about him. Like he should be such a fun person to be on. And maybe he's, you know, more introverted, whatever. There but there should be that you should see the joy of the Lord in him, and that that is then fleshed out in the areas of his life as well.

SPEAKER_00 59:08

Yeah, that's really good. I love that. Um Yeah, because if if you don't have that as the foundation, then that's you know, you can't build a good marriage on that. Right. Yeah. Um, but also I would say too, just from my experience um of of getting married very young, that it it's it's good. There's a good thing too about growing up together, you know. There there's something that um, you know, like obviously my husband and I, I was 19 and he was 23. Uh, and you know, we we love the Lord and we were very mature in a lot of ways, but we're very immature in a lot of ways, too. Um and we've had a lot of growing up to do over the last almost 15 years of marriage. And and so, yeah, just being willing to be like, okay, I see that this man loves the Lord and he's got these qualities, um, but but he's not gonna be perfect yet, you know. Well, actually he's never gonna be perfect.

unknown 1:00:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:11

And being willing to see like um not potential like where you're trying to change him because that's not our job, but the seeing the man that he is on the um the trajectory to grow into, you know?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:25

Yeah.

unknown 1:00:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:26

Because I know you even like looking back on like just my younger years and how far I've come even with in the sanctification, how far the Lord has brought me, and I know I still have a long way to go. Just understanding God's grace that, you know, like you were saying, no one is going to be perfect, and it's a continual sanctification process all the way. And so being able to, you know, give grace in those moments.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:47

Oh yeah, because I mean he's gonna have to give grace for you too. Yeah, exactly. Exactly, yeah. Okay, so kind of wrapping up, how can single women li leave a courageous legacy even outside of marriage and motherhood? I can see this really being like a point of pain for the person who is longing to to leave a legacy and who has uh just the natural motherly instinct um and maybe feeling like they're not getting to do that. How how would you say that they can live courageously and live a legacy outside of those um vocations?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:26

This may seem um simple, but I think this kind of can cover um a lot, and I think just kind of is a summation of what we everyone should be striving towards, but especially in these moments when it can be hard, um, would be just by being obedient to what God has given you to do. So, you know, being obedient by showing hospitality, taking care of your uh parents in their old age by, you know, proclaiming the gospel through your joyful obedience and through your joyful service to others, and ultimately in not in the same way as motherhood, but you do the same act of laying down your life for others as Christ did for the church.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:05

Um and I think the having the you know the foundation of obedience and and faithfulness and joy and gratitude, um, and God writes so many wonderful stories with so many different subplots that it's it's is hard to lay out specifics for everyone. But I think joyful obedience and faithfulness in everyday tasks are things that leave a lasting legacy no matter what. And I mean, th those are the stories we read about of our pastors just talking about the apostles and how they were martyred and yet their faithfulness to the Lord and their obedience, and those are things that through all circumstances will leave a legacy.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:38

Yes, one hundred percent. That is so good. I I really especially love too how you talked about um caring for your aging parents, you know. I I think that that's something that is such a a a worthy thing that um I mean all of us should be engaging in. I think I saw this in my cousin. I I have a cousin who is um single and has been her whole adult life. And she moved in with my grandma a couple years ago after she had a really bad stroke and um lived with her for I think it was two years, uh, and just helped take care of her during that time. And I think that is such a wonderful way to serve and sacrifice um and be purposeful and um just being very fruitful with your life. And uh I've seen I've seen other ladies, like I I know one of the ladies actually who was at my table that night that I was sharing about at church, the that I was um discipling, uh she's a teacher and she has been able to um to really have that spiritual mothering with her students, you know. And even even like you were saying with you and your sister with with uh helping with the nursery at church or just these different ways that that you can come alongside and disciple younger people in your life, I think is such an opportunity that you you have to to nurture and disciple and and serve in in a motherly way. I mean, uh of course it's not the same and and I know it doesn't, you know, quite satisfy that longing, but it is a way that you are able to use the gifts that God is giving you as a woman in a purposeful way um in those seasons. Yes, I agree. Yeah. Okay, so as we close, what encouragement would you give to women who feel insignificant or overlooked in their current season of singleness? And and what is something you would encourage her to do to just live more fully on mission?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:44

Um, I would say probably the most helpful and one of the most important things would just be to get your eyes on Christ. So, as we've talked about before today, you know, pray to God, tell him your desire to be married, but then also understand that you you have been given your your role from the Lord of the universe. So go live it joyfully before Him and show the world around you what biblical joy and creativity and ambition looks like. Um lay down your life for your community and serve like Christ did. Um sow your seeds of faithfulness um now and and all of your good works, show the world the goodness and beauty of our Creator. And just something that a single woman could do this week um to find a way to serve so would just be to find a way to serve someone else. So, you know, maybe you make cookies to take to a family at church, or maybe you help your neighbor plant their rose bushes because it, you know, it's warming up outside, at least where we are, and so maybe you invite the young teen girls over for a a tea party and just I think just serving others, finding a way to serve and getting your eyes off of yourself um will help in that season of singleness in particular because you're not so much although the the longing can still be there, it kind of it becomes fainter as you're you're looking to serve others. And then meet their needs.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:01

Yeah. Yeah. That's so good. And like enjoying the opportunity that you have to not have all the restraints of time that come with marriage and motherhood. You know, like I was just telling another girl this this week is um you you take advantage of this opportunity right now that you have to serve in these ways that, you know, like me and in my season of life, I don't have uh the time or capacity to do, you know. And so enjoy this. This is a good, a good gift and a good season, and we can give thanks in in every season and and look for the blessings and how and how we can live a better story in in every stage, you know?

SPEAKER_01 1:06:42

Yeah, and piggybacking off of what you were talking about. I know something Gwen Newell has said before is like, have fun. Like maybe you have always wanted to travel and this is the season in which to do it, you know. Maybe you want to go to Paris to see the Eiffel Tower, maybe you want to go see the Yorkshire Dales, you know, whatever it may be. Just also make sure that you are you're having fun and creating those fun memories now as well.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:03

Yeah, that's so good. I love that. Well, Lydia, this has been so encouraging. I'm so grateful for this because this this helps me to know like how to be um more of an encouragement to to the single people in my life and things to keep in mind and um just ways to encourage and and disciple those. So I'm so grateful and and I I really believe that our listeners here will be encouraged by everything you were shared with us today. So thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:35

Thank you for the opportunity. I know even in writing the article, it was an encouragement to me as well, just to you know, remind myself of these things.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:41

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's always good when writing these articles to, you know, be speaking to ourselves too.

unknown 1:07:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:49

We should be. Yeah. All right. Well, thank you so much, Lydia, and we'll talk to you next time. All right, thank you so much. Okay. All right, friends, that's all we have time for today. Please don't forget to leave a review and spread the word about keeping the citadel with your friends. And as we always do here, I'd like to leave you with a charge to encourage you to go further up and further in your calling. So here is my charge to you. Psalm 8411 says, For the Lord God is a son and shield. The Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly. God is not holding out on you. He has you in the season of life that you are in because it is his absolute best for you in this very moment. No good thing does he withhold from those he loves. Do you believe it? Do you trust him? To everything there is a season. If this is your season to wait, do it faithfully. Do not bury your talent in the ground, but ask the Lord how you can turn a profit on what he has given you. Learn to see your singleness not as the time to embrace your independence, but to grow in your great dependence on the Lord. Be fruitful, grow in skills, sacrifice your time and energy to serve others. Practice becoming the kind of wife that a man would be blessed to receive. Do you feel the sting of your unmet desire? Go to your Heavenly Father, the giver of all good gifts, and trust him with it. And then get busy where you're at. Don't waste time wallowing or panicking. There's work to be done for the kingdom. And it starts right there in your home. So have courage, dear heart. God does not make mistakes, and he didn't make one with your story. Until next time, embrace your high calling, live a better story, and keep the flame of your citadel burning brightly.