Leaving a Courageous Legacy with Your Home

 What does it look like to build a courageous legacy within the walls of your home? In this episode, I sit down with my mom, Lauren Huss—a woman who chose faith over fear, conviction over comfort, and intentionally shaped our family culture through homemaking, homeschooling, and steadfast devotion to Christ. Her story is a powerful reminder that the legacy we leave is formed in the quiet, everyday faithfulness of home, and will be especially helpful to those who feel like they are pioneering in their efforts, trying to figure out a lot on their own.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

It's not that my family had a particular house that belonged to us for generations. In fact, we moved more than anyone else I knew. But my parents understood that the world they made within the walls of our house was what constituted home. So I grew up in spaces framed by art and color, filled with candlelight, marked by beauty. I grew up within a rhythm of time made sacred by family devotions in the morning and long conversations in the evening. I grew up with a sense of our daily life as a feast and delight. A soup and bread dinner by the fire, Celtic music lilting in the shadows, and the laughter of my siblings gave me a sense of the blessedness of love, of God's life made tangible in the food and touch and air of our home. It was a fight for my parents, I know. Every day was a battle to bring order to mess, peace to stressful situations, beauty to the chaos wrought by four young children. But that's the reality of incarnation as it invades a fallen world. My parents struggled and I watched them. I saw the days when a homemade meal was an almost Herculean task. I saw the evenings when we didn't quite manage to get the house in order. I knew the effort it took my mom to bring a sparkle once more to the eyes of all those hungry, restless little people around the dinner table, particularly when sorrow was in her heart. When someone once asked me just what it was that my parents did that made me believe in God, without even thinking, I said, I think it was French toast on Saturday mornings, and coffee and Celtic music and discussions and candlelight in the evenings. Because in those moments, I tasted and saw the goodness of God in a way I couldn't ignore. What my parents knew is that to make a home right in the midst of the fallen world is to craft out a space of human flesh and existence in which eternity rises up in time, in which the kingdom comes, in which we may taste and see the goodness. Home is not merely a dwelling. It's not merely a state of existence. It's a story, a narrative spun out day by day, a story molded by the walls and hours and tasks and feasts with which we fill our time, reflecting the reality of the God whose love animates every aspect of our being. The story is always possible. The narrative of home, the new creation of belonging, is when we can always begin anew, wherever we dwell. We don't have to have a perfect family, a healthy background. We don't have to have lived in one place. We don't have to own a mansion or even a house. Nothing is required for the making of home except a heart that loves God, an imagination fired by his spirit, and hands ready to create. And, well, a bit of courage too. It takes grit to confront those fallen realms of loneliness, those empty spaces and fill them. But when we do, the kingdom comes in the homes we make as the love of God becomes flesh in our lives once more. Excerpt from the life-giving home by Sally and Sarah Clarkson. I chose this passage from the life-giving home because I could have written an almost identical piece about my own childhood. I was extraordinarily blessed to grow up in a home very similar to the one that Sarah Clarkson just described. It wasn't perfect by any means. We had our share of trials and shortcomings, but it was a place that was marked by the aroma of Christ. The meals we shared, the music that filled the home, the conversations that kept us up late into the night are the things that cultivated in my heart an awareness of the love and goodness of God. Throughout my childhood, the impact of my mother's influence in my life was unparalleled. Unlike me, my mom didn't grow up in a joyful, godly home. Her childhood, suffice it to say, wasn't a happy one. In many ways, she was a pioneer in figuring out how to do this whole Christian parent homeschool mom thing. My mom, being the fearless soldier she is, didn't let her lack of experience or training stop her from throwing her entire self into training me how to be a godly woman. It was through her daily faithfulness that I learned what it meant to love, serve, and submit to a husband, how to run a house, and how to cultivate an environment in the home that breeds life and love and beauty to its members. Often I would go to friends' houses who didn't know the Lord, and the difference was stark. These homes lacked the beauty and laughter that I was accustomed to in my own home. I realized that what these homes were missing was Jesus. Seeing in such a practical way the difference that Jesus makes in a home and a family made me love him all the more. I realized that life with Christ is where the good stuff is found. And it was because of my mother's faithfulness that I was able to experience that gift of the good stuff in my own home daily. Now that I am a mother with my own children, I want my kids to always have eyes that are filled with the wonder of the great God who did the extraordinary by reaching down and saving them. I too want to create a home filled with the aroma of Christ, where they can see, taste, and touch the goodness of God in the meals we share, the conversations we have, the traditions we celebrate, and the books we read. I want them to recognize, like I did, that life with Christ is where the good stuff is. And that He makes everything, from homework to doing the dishes, exhilarating. Continuing this legacy that my parents left me with my own children has been one of the biggest blessings and privileges of my life. I hope that if you are a mother listening to this today, that the story of my mother's faithfulness encourages you. And as I said before, she didn't have any special training or upbringing that equipped her. She just had faith and obeyed. And because of her obedience, because of her faithfulness in the midst of her own suffering, her legacy of discipleship is continuing as I raise my own two boys, and hopefully will also continue with any other woman I have the opportunity to disciple in my lifetime. So don't ever underestimate the long-term impact that your faithfulness can have on the lives of your children and future generations. The Keeping the Citadel Podcast exists to embolden women to transform their homes and lives into shining citadels for the glory of Christ and the spread of his kingdom. Hey friends, welcome back to the Keeping the Citadel Podcast. My name is Heather Faria and I am your host. Today I have an incredibly special episode that I'm very excited to share with you all because today I get to interview my mom. We are going to be talking about having courage as homemakers and leaving a legacy through our homes. Before we jump into today's conversation and I introduce you to her, however, I'd like to share just a few housekeeping items. First off, if you are new here, we are going through a series right now called How to Live a Better Story. That theme ties directly into our winter magazine issue, also titled Live a Better Story, and it's focused on what it means for us as women to live for Christ in an intentional way in every aspect of our lives. In both the magazine and the podcast here, we explore what it means to live a better story in our homes, marriages, homeschooling, and even a single woman, which we discussed in our episode from last week. And these seasons of the podcast are really meant to walk hand in hand with the magazine, not as a replacement for it, but as a way to build on it and just go even deeper with the truths that we are growing in together. Speaking of which, if you haven't yet subscribed to the Keeping the Citadel magazine, you can do so at any time. We have already closed orders for our spring issue, but you can still sign up to get on the list to get the summer issue when it comes out. We also sell digital versions of each issue. So if you missed any of the issues that we have come out with so far, you can still order a digital version that you can download and start following along with us today. Also, just a little tip you do get a free digital magazine at the last issue when you sign up for that print subscription. So I mean, it just makes sense to go ahead and sign up for the print subscription anyway, just saying. So right now you can use the code FREESHIPPING, that's free shipping all in caps to get free shipping off your first ship off your first issue that you subscribe to. Like I said, orders for the spring issue have already closed. But if you get in now, you'll be set to receive the summer issue when it releases. Finally, if you have been listening to Keeping the Citadel for a while now and it has encouraged you, would you please take a moment right now, just pause the episode and subscribe and leave a quick review. This helps so much, and we need you to help us get this message out that biblical womanhood is still good, still beautiful, and still worth fighting for. I also wanted to let you know that if you have questions or would like to leave some feedback on an episode, you can actually send me a text now through your podcast player. I won't be able to re I won't be able to reply back, but if you leave your name and email, I can try to email you back that way or respond to your question in a future episode. Alrighty. With that out of the way, let's get into today's conversation. Today I am delighted to introduce a very special guest, my mom, Lauren Huss. Lauren Huss is a wife of almost 36 years, a mother to two adult children, and a grandmother of five. She is passionate about gardening, keeping her home well, and leaving a legacy of faith for her family. When she's not watching her grandkids or up to some new gardening project, she enjoys traveling the world with her husband, who is also her best friend. Lauren also runs a traveling advisory business where she helps others coordinate memorable and affordable travel experiences. So, mom, welcome to the podcast. Thank you for having me. I'm glad to be here. I am so excited to have you. This has been something I wanted to do for a while, so I'm excited to have you. Um, I mentioned a little bit ago that we are working through a series called Live a Better Story, where we focus on what it means for us as women to live as good characters in the stories that God is writing for us. So in this episode that is centered around living a better story in our homemaking, I couldn't think of a better topic to cover than that of leaving a legacy through our homes, because that really is what the goal is with living a better story. We want to be telling the kind of story with our lives now so that it does leave a lasting legacy that will impact others for generations to come. And when it comes to leaving a legacy, I really wanted to share this conversation with you, mom, because not only has your legacy been the very thing that I've built my life and legacy on, but it was always so obvious that this was the main goal of yours, even when we were very young. You always seemed to have that end goal in mind as you were raising us. Like the act of raising kids wasn't just something you wanted to get through and send us on our way. You knew that you had the ability to make a huge difference in our lives. And you were very intentional to do everything you could to make that happen. And I I just really think your story in particular will be so helpful to many of our listeners. So, mom, as we begin, can you share a little bit about your own childhood and how it shaped your desire to build a strong, Christ-centered home?

SPEAKER_00 12:42

Sure. I was raised in what I thought for the first 10 years of my life was a perfect American family with two kids and two parents. And then my father decided he wanted a different family when I was about 10 years old. And so he left and um we were on our own. And at that time, my sister was 13 years old, and she completely went off the deep end and became a troubled child and a troubled adult and is still a lot of trouble. And so um so it became kind of uh my mom and I against the world. We became kind of a survival team for a long time, and my mom did the best she could. She was able to um get a job, even though it was meager because she had no training. Uh she got married two days after she turned 18 and had never had an actual paying job before my dad left. And um, and so she had to go to work too. And and so at that point, I became a latchkey kid at 10. And and I think that was probably the hardest part of everything because I really was a mommy's girl, and I missed my mom actually more than I missed my dad. So that part was even more devastating, and I think that might be one of the reasons why I was so determined to be a good mom for my own children.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

Yeah, I remember even as kids, just how much time you wanted to spend to it with us, and how you you always let us know that you weren't trying to get rid of us. You enjoyed spending time with us. And um I I could see how coming from your experience as a kid where you didn't get that time with your mom, how how much it mattered to you that you would have that with us. And that really came through like with everything that you were doing.

SPEAKER_00 14:45

Yeah, I tried. There was there was a lot of um intention intentionality there, but there was also just the strong desire to be with my children. And and uh um I you know, I had thoughts uh like every young person to, you know, go into this career, that career, but it was never really an option for me. And um and all of the things that I wanted to do would have taken away the opportunity to be a wife and a mom. And so they they just clearly weren't options. And so I was very blessed to find a husband, young at a very young age, actually, that was from a very traditional home that wanted to have a traditional stay-at-home wife and mom. And I was really blessed to be able to quit my job as a nurse only five years into our marriage and become a full-time stay-at-home mom before your brother was born.

SPEAKER_01 15:47

Yeah, so you mentioned that you were a nurse. Um, and it's interesting how you decided to stay at home because coming from having a mom who, you know, your dad left you and she had to go to work. And a lot of people in situations like that encourage their kids to have a career as a backup plan, you know, in case they find themselves in a situation like, you know, your mom did. And um, but that didn't seem to be as much of a concern for you. Why, why do you think that was?

SPEAKER_00 16:23

Well, she did. That was my backup plan. And so, so um, yeah, so she definitely wanted me to have some way to support myself and not have to rely on a man to to make ends meet. And so I did. I I had that, you know, in my back pocket. However, um, it was very clear to to me and to your dad that it wasn't gonna be something that we were gonna do. That, you know, when I had to go back to work after having you, it was the most miserable experience I I'd ever had. And so I just knew that that was not going to be something that I was willing to do for the long term. And and so, you know, we saved and we we planned and we eventually got to the point where it's okay, we can make this happen, and we both were committed to make it happen. And that took financial savvy, and it took patience on both of our part and and just uh strong commitment.

SPEAKER_01 17:29

I'd imagine it also took a lot of courage on your part because you had been in a position where there was risk in trusting a man to provide for you and to not be in a situation where you were kind of having to provide for yourself. And so just being willing to lay down your career and just give everything to raising your children and staying home and tending tending to your home. Did you feel like a sense of trepidation or fear about that? Or um did you feel confident and at peace?

SPEAKER_00 18:05

With dad, I felt secure. And that was one of, first of all, the most attractive things about him. And and I just knew that he was willing and able to provide for us and to take care of us. And frankly, after 10 years of feeling like we were floundering on our own and having to do everything on our own, and everything was on us as you know, and I I I felt like I was an adult much earlier than I really was. And so actually being able to kind of let go at that point was such a relief. And I mean, there there were definitely some times that you know I was worried for him or uh for us, but I never really worried that he could provide for me. I never really worried that he would be there. And so as as far as courage goes, I I never thought of myself as ever having courage. And so it I I didn't feel like it was very courageous to do what I was doing. I felt like it was just the right thing and it was what I was meant to do and what we were meant to do as a family. And so I was very comfortable in being a stay-at-home mom and and I guess confident in that role. That I'd never really felt super intimidated when other people would say, you know, what do you do? I mean, everyone's a while, it's it's annoying to get that question, but I was proud of that job. And and the fact that I was able to stay at home felt like such a privilege and an honor.

SPEAKER_01 19:44

So Well, I think you are very humble and um that that you were very courageous because I think I think as women, we when we are submitting ourselves to a man and and looking to him to be our provider, we're basically hitching ourselves to him and uh like okay, we're along for the ride. And when we have a good man who is providing for us and caring for us the way God designed, it does. It brings that sense of peace like what you had with dad. And it's such a good thing because that's like how God designed it to be. But I think that when you haven't had that experience, as I know probably a lot of our listeners could potentially find themselves in where they didn't grow up in a home with a godly father, or or maybe even they had didn't have a father at all. Having to get in the mindset of putting themselves in a position of having to submit to a man and trust him to be that provider for them and being willing to lay down their career, that's hard, especially when you think of the whole feminist mindset right now that's being pushed in our culture where women need to be the ones to take care of themselves and they shouldn't rely on a man for anything. And I think it's training women to be afraid to put themselves in a position of having to be dependent on somebody. So um I think just your story of how when you did do that and and you and you found a man that you could trust, that it brought you peace. I think that just testifies so much to one, I mean, how important it is the kind of man that we choose, but also just how good it is when we are following God's design.

SPEAKER_00 21:32

Yeah. I should say my mother was petrified for me. And so she was counting the years the she celebrated on the markers of my father's infidelity every time we passed an anniversary where she didn't pass. She was thrilled and excited. Now my husband is one of her favorite people in the whole world, but um, but you know, she was very Worried for me and I understand that. And I it was it was just God involved in in that and bringing us the peace of of understanding that that was the goal that we had and we were going to make it happen and we were committed to each other and to putting God first in our marriage. And and that was something, frankly, that my mom did not have. And so um my father was never a Christian. And and unfortunately, it was, you know, it was like that. And so I was blessed to have my grandparents that were a big influence in my life as I was growing up. They really pitched in and helped quite a bit. And my grandmother was a very godly woman. Um and so she taught me a lot about trusting in the Lord. And so I think that that was a big catalyst, especially during those years of basically being on my own and raising myself and having to also uh put up a strong front for my mom who was devastated and emotional and relied on me to be her comforter for so many years. And so I think I was able to get through so much that some people might look at as courageous that I just was plowing through. I just it I didn't even think about it.

SPEAKER_01 23:23

Yeah. Well, one thing that this does make me think of is how uh as I was growing up, and I mean, really my whole life, you've always talked about the providence of God and how that's been such a a meaningful thing for you is recognizing the way that God was orchestrating his providence in your life. And um, it's just so obvious in the way that he brought you and dad together and in the peace that he gave you that you didn't even feel the sense of trepidation about it that you just knew. And that you guys both um were determined, like you were saying, to have this home that was centered on God. And it's it's really cool to see how the providence of God was just at the forefront of your marriage from the beginning. Um, but growing up in a broken home, what was the biggest lesson you learned that you were determined to do differently in your own home?

SPEAKER_00 24:22

Not to have a broken home. That was, I mean, a hundred percent. I wanted to break the cycle, and I would have probably done anything to prevent that from happening. And um, and I wanted my children to know that I was there for them, that that um that my emotions weren't going to override the fact that I needed to be a mother first. And and uh so that was one of the main the main things I wanted to focus on.

SPEAKER_01 24:53

Yeah, that's really good. Okay, so one of my favorite things about you is that you've always been a bit of a rebel. Like you never have gone along with something just because it's what everybody else is doing. You've always stuck to your convictions, even when it meant looking crazy or unconventional. So, with that said, what gave you the courage to make unconventional choices like homeschooling when it wasn't common at all for that day?

SPEAKER_00 25:22

Well, I definitely have never been one to follow trends and jump on bandwagons or anything like that. And most of the time I don't even know if there's a trend or not because I'm not really that aware. I'm not a cool person. And so, as far as homeschooling, it wasn't popular like it is today. So it definitely is, I mean, a stay-at-home mom that was much more popular, but homeschooling was not. The only people that homeschooled in those days were hippies and Amish people, and so and so and I was definitely not a hippie or Amish, and so it was not a popular thing, and everybody did raise their eyebrows and think I was off my rocker, and I definitely was not educated enough to do it, and and uh all of that. So as far as um just doing it, it was the right thing to do for our family, and I I it was the best decision we ever made.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

Yeah, well, it was, I mean, I remember how convicted you were about it. Like it wasn't just kind of a backup plan, this like, oh, this is our only option. So I guess we'll homeschool. You were so convicted about it. And even I remember as we were growing up that a lot of the the families who we homeschooled alongside as we got older, they would kind of start sending their kids to high school or they would they would choose a different path. And you were like, no, I'm in this for the long haul. And it didn't matter to you what everybody else was doing. You really stuck to your convictions about that. And and I just I've always loved that about you. And I think that's something that uh has really um that I aspire to and that has helped me so much in so many ways is just not letting the crowd or what is conventional dictate the choices that I make and really just focusing on what does God want for me to do. And I think seeing that modeled in you has just conditioned me to not caring as much about if people disagree or or or not, you know, with what I'm doing, because I was able to grow up seeing the courage it takes to go against the grain and knowing that we were gonna be okay. And and that it's the only thing that matters is is what God thinks of us at the end of the day, you know.

SPEAKER_00 27:54

Yeah, there was a lot of people during that time that would be thinking about homeschooling and they would say, Oh, we'll give it a year, we'll give it, we'll give it two, and we'll see, we'll see, you know, play it by ear and see if if it's still working out for us, you know, next year. And I that was never, never a thought in my head. It was gonna be this is the way we're doing it. And and uh I always knew, even before we decided to homeschool you guys when you were in elementary, that I'd probably want to pull you out for junior high school because junior high school is just a dreadful time for kids. And I had a horrible time, and and I feel like that is probably the most formative time that can really, you know, make or break a a child's character is is junior high. And so I knew that I was uh definitely gonna want to have you at home for that period of time. And so once we got to that period of time, it was kind of like, okay, this is this is we we made it. But there was no there was no social media back then. There was no there was no very little co-ops, there was no YouTube videos, there was, you know, the internet barely even started when when we were homeschooling. And so there was very little uh outside support. So everything was hardback books and and um you know catalogs and and that kind of thing. And and that's really what I had to rely on at that point. So in that part of my life, it was a pioneering effort because it there was so little available.

SPEAKER_01 29:30

Yeah, yeah, you were definitely a pioneer. You had to forge your own path and just figure out a lot on your own. And so considering the fact that you were not treading the typical path for women your age and you didn't have a ton of guidance, um, I know you mentioned you used a lot of books, but how how did you equip yourself in general for this calling you were embarking on? And and you can include homeschooling and just homemaking in general. How did you equip yourself? What were some of the things that you looked to for guidance and discipleship as a new homemaker?

SPEAKER_00 30:05

Um well, you know, like like I said, my mom was a great decorator and and things like that, but she wasn't like super into it. She wasn't she wasn't really into the domestic art, like she doesn't like to cook and and you know, that kind of thing. And neither really did my grandma. She was just kind of basic. And so I always had a interest in home design, home decorating, architecture, that kind of stuff when I was even a a a kid. And so that was always an interest to me. So that kind of picked up as I be, you know, was able to have my own home. Um your grandma, dad's mom, and Aunt Kath, they were a big help, especially in the area of entertaining. I married a party, and so that was helpful because I learned really quick how to entertain and how to ho be a hostess. And um as far as homeschooling goes or homemaking, the other thing, like I said, there was there there was no Pinterest back then. And uh and so you know, my your dad and I would watch cooking shows on PBS and practice recipes together. And we got good at stuff like that. And and as time went on, um we would we would just do things together. I did grow up with uh my dad was always a handyman and he could do anything, fix anything, whether it be a car, a building, uh or whatever. And so I grew up assuming that men were just like that and capable of being handy and and everything. And so poor dad got thrown into that when we bought a fixer-upper. And so he was completely thrown into that and just had to learn. And we did. That's what we did. We learned. We learned together, we just tried it out and we made a lot of mistakes and and uh we fixed them the next time around. And and uh so that was pretty much it. With with homeschooling, I went to conferences and seminars and listened to uh sermons and cassette tapes and talks and you know, there there were, like I said, some pioneers before me in the Amish community and in some secular waldorf school kind of communities. Um but there there just wasn't a lot out there, so I had to go searching for it.

SPEAKER_01 32:33

Yeah. I mean, you you were so good about seeking things out and self-educating. I I think one of the things that is just really remarkable about you, especially like you were very young when you got married and when you started having kids, and you sought out people to be the ones who could train you up in these ways, like you mentioned, um, grandma and Aunt Kath, and but also the way that you were pursuing self-education in order to um get that discipleship that was kind of lacking in your environment, but you went and sought it out still to find that equipping. And I think I think that that is just really encouraging, especially to women who find themselves in a situation similar to you, who didn't grow up with this type of discipleship and who didn't grow up with this uh with any training to where they feel equipped for the task of being a wife and a mom or um, you know, educating their kids. But that regardless of the fact, like even if you're coming into this and you feel like you don't know what the heck you're doing, uh, or you don't have people around you who you can learn from and glean from, there are ways that you can still make an incredible impact just from doing what you can with the resources that you have in front of you uh to equip you for the work that you're doing. And you don't have to have come from some background or or necessarily have like a quote unquote Titus II woman who is mentoring, you know, you every day or anything. Like you can just read good books and look at the examples of the other godly women who are around you and and do what you need to do and still make an incredibly lasting impact.

SPEAKER_00 34:34

Yeah, I I honestly think that getting married young, I was 20, and uh I I was so young that I didn't know what I didn't know. And I think that was actually a benefit, not a hindrance. I love to learn, and I was always very curious about things. I still am, I'm still constantly learning things. And so the idea that I couldn't figure it out, um, I think that was that was a byproduct again of of kind of fledging through my teenage years with my mom, just the the two of us. We had to figure things out. We were on our own. And so I was able to just kind of put my nose to the grindstone and do it.

SPEAKER_01 35:18

Yeah, I, you know, one thing that you really ingrained in me and and I just appreciated so much is that it's so important to not to listen to the right voices, to listen to God's voice and and to listen to to other godly voices that are lined up with with his word, but to not listen to all the voices. And and that is something that I think you modeled so well, is because you you were very focused on what does God want. And you um you you weren't just always afraid of what other people think. And you you sought out what the Lord says and you had a few selected people that you trusted for wisdom. And and I think that that is something that is really important that women do learn how to do, especially in this age of social media, because we do have, I mean, thousands of voices screaming in our face every time we open our phones. And we've got all kinds of people, you know, podcasts, TV shows, YouTube, everybody is trying to tell us how to parent, how to be a good wife, what kind of schooling we should do for our kids. And um what I really want our listeners to take away right here from this is just that the best thing to do in order to have confidence in what you are doing and in the path that that God is calling you to is to seek Him first and to uh make sure that the the counselors that you are seeking wisdom from are also lined up with His word. Um and that it's that it's so much more important to do that and then just forget about what everyone else is saying and not care if people don't approve. Because people are always gonna approve or disapprove of the choices that we make. Um and speaking of disapproval, how did you handle criticism or opposition from friends or family about the choices you make? And I and I know you you got a lot of that.

SPEAKER_00 37:30

Basically, I tried to I I there was no point in trying to argue my point with people who were uh uh in, you know, who were judging what they didn't know, what was going against the status quo. Um because when when something goes against the status quo and people don't understand what it is, they they become anxious themselves, they become afraid, um, and they it it it's either wrong or weird or you know evil. And and I knew that they feel threatened. Yes, they feel threatened by it, they they feel like you're doing it to, you know, because you think that they did the wrong thing, which, you know, it's not about them. And um, but as far as homeschooling goes, um, you know, the proof the proof is in the pudding. You know, my my kids turned out fantastic, and so nobody really can object at this point. They went through it, they went through it, they had to be tested, you know, by their grandma sometimes, and you know, I mean, it things like that. And people, people would always give them that, you know, you're homeschooled, you must be a weirdo, you know, kind of thing. And it's like, have you met my children? We know multiple weirdos that go to regular school, and and one of the benefits for them in their in our community is that um they had multiple friends in multiple schools or in homeschool, both, and and they were able to socialize with a wider variety of people than if they had been in a regular public school or private school. So um my my way of handling it was to basically just listen to what they had to say and and uh it didn't change my opinion. I never thought, well, I'm gonna stop doing this because you don't agree with it. That that never entered my mind. It was always a um, you know, God has told us to do this and we're following through.

SPEAKER_01 39:40

Yeah, you were never one to sit there and worry, oh no, am I doing the right thing? You know, should I be, should I maybe I should put them back in school, or maybe I should go back to work, or you know, that these weren't things that you were always wrestling with. You just did what God was calling you to do. And I also want to make it clear that, you know, we're not saying here that everybody needs to homeschool, but obviously what we should be doing is giving our our children a Christian education and and discipling them. And um what what that was what really was driving you in this path was the the calling to give us a Christian education and a biblical worldview. And and so yeah, the point the point that we're trying to make here is that when when God calls us to to disciple our children and to care for our homes, we need to maintain those convictions apart from what the world is trying to tell us what we should be doing. And and having confidence in that and not worrying about what everybody thinks or is trying to pull us away in order to tend to these other needs, that the vital, the most vital important thing that we should be doing is tending to um our first callings as as wives and mothers and homemakers and and disciple and educators of our children. So was there a moment when your convictions were tested? And if so, how did you hold firm during that time?

SPEAKER_00 41:18

Yeah, you you you know this story. When I got sick um in my uh uh thirties, early thirties, and uh you guys were I can't even remember how old you were at this point, but you were probably dead in middle school at this point. And I was just so sick and weak, and I was think I was wondering, is this God's way of telling me I'm done, it's it's over, and we've we've uh run the course. And uh there were times that I could barely uh have the strength to l even listen to you guys read to me, let alone teach you anything. And so um, yeah, there were there were you know some thoughts and and wondering, you know, am I doing a disservice to you guys at this point? And uh we just prayed and prayed and prayed as a family, and we just, you know, kept going. You and your brother picked up the slack and were basically running the house for me for uh quite a while. And uh we just adjusted the curriculum and focused on the necessities and we got through it and we just kept it going. And and uh I'm so grateful that we got through it and we did because then then you guys went on into junior high and high school, and I think I think that was a valuable time for you to be at home.

SPEAKER_01 42:36

Oh, 100%. It was so valuable. I mean, we learned so much during that time. It was um, I think such a time where we all had to grow in learning to serve each other. And and I I talked about this in in another episode, but like what it looks like to suffer well, to suffer with in a way where we are um not being complainers, but we're still maintaining a joyful attitude in the home where we're not letting those kinds of things dominate us and and steal our joy. And it never seemed like, you know, the the struggles that you had with your health, like it was stealing the joy in our in our family. We always were still doing things and learning things and, you know, having meals together. And our our home was just always a place that was full of that joy and richness, despite the fact that, you know, there were trials that were going on. But but those things are what helped strengthen us in in character and and taught us a lot of the things that we needed to learn about growing in grit and fortitude, you know.

SPEAKER_00 43:43

I I think specifically what that period of time did for both of you is it gave you both a servant's heart. And and uh um I could see that in your in your marriages now as as adults that. you both are have this strong desire to serve your spouses and your children. And it that's something that completely warms my heart because you guys would have never been entitled and and I think that, you know, sometimes God works in, you know, uses uses some pretty hardcore methods to get the point across. And and I don't know, maybe maybe that's what the point was. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 44:26

Yeah, no, I I don't aspire to a a pain-free life for my kids because I I really believe that that when kids have to go through hard times and suffering or even watching other people go through those hard times that it equips them more for the real world and in and training them up to be the kind of people that that they need to be in order to serve God well. It's no fun to watch your kids go through pain. I know I'm not saying I want them to I'm just saying I how do I put this I I don't think it's a horrible thing when I do have to see them go through hard things because because I know that it's going to be for their good because I saw that in my own life. I saw that in my brother's life, you know, I saw how these things that you know people might see as these terrible things for kids to go through, which really they weren't but it's it's what um strengthened us, you know, and and so much good came from it all. And so um yeah I mean I I think that that when we encounter trials with our children that we can see those things as the very things that God is using to to shape them for who they're going to be. Okay, so back back back to homeschooling. So we talked earlier about how when you made that decision to homeschool us, how this was not a very conventional thing in your in that time and how there weren't a lot of people around I mean there were some but it wasn't like super common like it is today. And so I mean how did you even hear about it? How how did you get this in your head? Because this wasn't something that people were doing. So how did you think oh I'm going to home educate my children and um you know why don't you share that story?

SPEAKER_00 46:21

Well again this is this is uh another story of providence in my life and while I was in nursing school before I even met your dad I was working for a lady that had just moved to town and needed a housekeeper and an occasional babysitter. And so I was in school and I would clean her house uh once or twice a month and then eventually she started asking me to watch her kids and then after I graduated from nursing school she had a her father living with her who had dementia and needed some elder care. And so she asked me if I would be willing to take care of her dad and her children while she and her husband got away for the weekend every every so often. And so I did that and we became really good friends over the years. She was about 10 to 15 years older than than I was and she actually not only introduced me to the lifestyle of homeschooling but she also encouraged me to go to Bible study as a young new mom and wife as well. And so um she didn't have anything to do with my decision. She was just the first exposure I would say and so when when we were living in in Palayo uh we knew that you guys we considered homeschooling then because the the schools were not great but when we moved to Napa the schools were a lot better and we thought well you know we'll give it a go so you went to kindergarten and first grade and the um you know it was it wasn't anything near what the schools are like nowadays with all of the um crazy teachings and um DEI and all all of the agendas that you have to go through now but they were beginning to creep in and I mean in fact that you know when you were in school was was when Heather had two mommies was published and so the book was literally called Heather Had Two Mommies and and uh but I mean there there were things that that we ran into like you were not allowed to bring a Bible for B Week even though they celebrated Kwanzaa and you know Chinese New Year and all the other things and um you know there there were all there were a lot of little little you know push pushing the Christian ideas and the talks away. When you were in first grade you got sick in like November and pretty much were out until February you had pneumonia and all kinds of things and so you missed three months of school and never got behind ever. You were always ahead of your class and and at that point that was when it really hit me that and I was spending so much time at the school on the PTA and in the classroom and you know the curriculum council and running fundraisers and I was working so hard to keep an eye on you at school that it you know I thought what am I doing when you're doing fine at home even though you're sick and I'm working my butt off to you know just keep up with the pro the program. And so at that point we just prayed about it and we looked into it and the following year we we pulled you out and that was that was that. That was that yeah um those are good times one more thing. The other major catalyst that that was a factor and she's not gonna like me saying this is that um she was really starting to show attitude towards her brother. She was uh three and a half years older and that was the exact same age difference that I was with my older sister and my sister and I never had a good relationship ever. And so I was absolutely determined that my kids were not going to grow up being at odds with each other. And so as soon as I saw her pull an attitude with her little brother who all he did the whole time she was at school was pine for her and want her to come home to play with him. Um then that was another thing. It was a character thing. And so they had to they had to get through that.

SPEAKER_01 50:49

Yeah no I actually love that you brought that up because um I think that just shows how proactive you were being that you weren't just letting these things happen to you as just oh this this is the normal trajectory that kids take and this is how siblings are but you were you were actively fighting against character issues that you were seeing in me and um trying from the very beginning to make sure that that was a priority in our home and in our relationship and and protecting us from having the kind of relationship that you suffered through. And I think that that's really important when we see these types of things in our kids to be taking action and to be asking ourselves, what do I need to be doing to cultivating godly character in my kids and taking it seriously because I honestly think that a lot of people don't take these character issues that they see cropping up in their kids seriously enough. I think that a lot of people just think of them as stages or, you know, um this type of fighting between siblings is normal. And no, this is actually something that we need to be battling against. It's it's not to say that that kids aren't going to ever fight, you know, or have issues or that there's not going to be character issues that crop up even as in homeschooling um like the homeschooling is no guarantee that your kids are going to have perfect character. But what it does is it gives you the opportunity to deal with it head on all the time and yeah before it gets out of control and you are going to have ample opportunity to address these issues whereas if they're in a school system you're not you're just not gonna have the time to tend to those things. And so no I I'm I'm really happy that you brought that up because I think that it's so important for us to as women who are seeking to honor the Lord and raise up godly children when we are seeing these character issues popping up on our kids to be heading them off and and being just militant in our pursuit of of guiding them and training them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. So speaking of that what were some of the main ways that you intentionally cultivated godly character in us and were there specific practices or disciplines that you implemented that that you feel had the biggest long term impact on us there were so many things that I tried.

SPEAKER_00 53:32

There were countless things that that that we tried to do you know an idea I'd read in a book or a magazine or something like that. And you know we tried all kinds of different things and some of them took and some of them didn't our traditions and and things were formed by you guys mostly basically what you guys were attached to what you guys latched on to became something that that we would do again. And there were things that I definitely wanted to uh encourage um my main goal as as a homeschool mom was that you guys would love learning that you guys would have a d have a curiosity for knowledge and that you would learn how to learn that I I wasn't expecting myself to be able to teach you everything that but I wanted to give you the tools that you would need to learn on your own kind of the way I had to learn on my own. And so um we read aloud that was one of the things that I emphasized a lot that I wanted to to just have story time that time together as a family and you know it didn't matter you know that your brother couldn't sit still that that didn't matter he played with his Legos on the floor but he could tell you everything there was about the story that we were reading and we we took turns or we had dad read a lot you know that we made it a point to to make sure that if there was a if there was a movie or a show adaptation that we would always read the story first. And I think that that that cultivates the idea of being able to visualize in your own imagination uh and create a a visual for that story anyway rather than relying on that pat passivity of being fed the pictures and I think that that helps you to to actually think more critically the w one the one of the main things as you got older and it was somewhat somewhat as you it you when you were younger also but really when you got older when you guys became young teens is I wanted you to know that I would be there to listen to everything. That um it didn't matter how late you were up it didn't matter um what uh topic it was it didn't even have to be a topic we could have just we stayed up many nights just listening to music and talking about random things. And I just wanted to be there to listen and to get to know you as individual people so that we were always in each other's lives. And I think that that helps you know sometimes it was one of you sometimes it was both of you sometimes it was you and your cousins and and I think that that was something that um I'll always treasure those memories. So one of the things that that you guys will probably remember is that repetition is w one of the things that I used quite a bit and and uh probably just in an annoying way but I would I would have these things that I would say often and you guys could probably repeat them back to me in a in a second. But I I've always thought that repetition helps you to remember and catch yourself in the midst of if you were starting to disobey or back talk or whatever um there would be something that I could start to say and it would you know click oh yeah we're not supposed to be doing that one of the sayings that I always say and I still do and I hear you guys saying it to your kids too is remember who you are and it wasn't just remember who you are as far as oh okay I'm Heather Huss I'm Joey Huss. It was it was remember whose you are as in you're a child of God and you need to act like it so you always need to be be remembering what what does that mean? Are you representing him well? Are you are you are you making him proud with this behavior and does he have your back in this situation? Why are you feeling anxious? We need to remember who you are because he's gonna take care of you and provide for you. The other aspect the other side of that was a little bit more close to home and that was remember who you are as in you represent this family and this family is important and this is where God placed you to be part of and it's and it goes back not just your mom and dad but your grandparents on both sides and where they came from and you start to you know realize that I wanted you to start to think about the legacy that you were a part of that you were born into and how your behavior represents and and uh represents them or affects them you know I mean and and there were times when you misbehaved or your brother misbehaved and you had to go and confess to your grandparents and that's not fun. That's not comfortable but that was something that being part of a greater family a a greater purpose I think it helped to instill in you that it's not all about you and to develop the character of being aware of how your behavior, actions, attitudes, etc affect God and affect the people around you.

SPEAKER_01 59:05

Yeah. That was that was huge. Um I'm so glad that you brought that up because I hearing that remember who you are in particular that saying I think that was probably one of the biggest ones that that we repeated and that Joey and I both use with with our own children now it it it really cemented in that sense of family identity. We always knew that everything that we did was going to affect our people and our and our family and that it was going to reflect on them and that we carried a sense of responsibility as we went out to reflect on our home well and to represent the Lord well. And I know that that was something that I took very seriously as I grew into my teen years that I wanted um I wanted to represent the Lord well in everything that I did. And so I always was remembering that I am not I can't just think of myself as an individual I have to think of myself like you were saying as a child of God and then also as a member of this family and that uh that I need to carry that name well. And I think that that's such an excellent way that you can instill that sense of family culture in your children and that sense of identity and into a legacy that is going to have a lasting impact for generations to come. And so many of the things that you were just talking about really point to how our family culture in general, the way that we you know stayed up late having these conversations like you were just talking about these were all things that were how you guys discipled us in real life, both you and dad, that you guys were discipling us just in the way that we lived and had these conversations and spent time together. And it was a way of life though the way that we lived for Christ it wasn't this compartmentalized thing where our relationship with God is over here and school is over here and then our family is over here.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:21

It was all weaved together and um that is that is one of the biggest things that I know I have taken uh to implement into my own child raising is that I want everything we do to be to be influenced by our love for the Lord and for everything that that my husband and I are doing to be discipling our kids just through the culture of of how we are living yeah and you know we were very much interested in your individual desires and and thoughts and dreams and and and personalities and and everything that's where that's where the late nights would come in and the individual you know uh things that we would do together would come in and but it is a it was such a valuable thing we live in a very close knit family large family and like I said before I married a party my Tim is one of six people and we all live in the same town and so there's cousins and aunts and uncles and very very happy unusual family that does things together all the time especially back then when you were all growing up was something that I did not grow up with and so I've really really valued it so much and I didn't want to take it for granted.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:50

Yeah yeah it was we knew that we were part of something bigger than ourselves and like you were saying you you valued our interests and our unique personalities but you guys did such a good job I think of not letting our interests drive who we were in the sense where you know parents kind of make their lives revolve around whatever their kid is interested in and they just drop everything to make sure that all their child's hopes and dreams come true. And what ends up happening in that kind of home is that it becomes a very child-centered home. And so kids grow up thinking that everything revolves around me and um they get to make all decisions based on what they want and what is best for them. And that was not the case in our home. Like we we knew you guys very much valued the people who God made us to be but that you guys were very clear that our skills that were given to us and and our our things that we pursued were meant to be a blessing to the people that we belong to and that we were for the benefit and service of others and that that God gave us these gifts and interests and talents as a way to to be a blessing to the family that we're a part of to the people that who God put in our life and um and I think that's that was one of just the biggest blessings of being part of a big family where you do have kind of that sense of identity and and everyone's proud to be part of this family is that we knew that it wasn't just all about us, that we weren't the ones who were the center of the universe, you know Yeah yeah. Okay, so we we spent a lot of time talking about kind of your pioneering in the homeschooling world but I want to talk a lot now about your pioneering as a homemaker and what it means to you to keep a home well.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:58

So what does this mean to you and why is it so important for a woman to keep her home well to me it goes back to um serving and and loving the people that you live with um the you know if I didn't keep a home well it would be chaos it would be uncomfortable nobody would be happy nobody would be fed nobody would want to be home and so it just goes together with you know if I was if I want my children to want to be here with me I better make it nice for them. Same goes for my husband and and uh and so a lot of it comes from necessity because um because in order to keep a home well and be a stay at home mom at the same time I was required to be very thrifty and frugal and resourceful and learn how to budget and learn how to save money and learn how to conserve Things. I loved, like I said earlier, I loved interior design and beautiful things and gardening. But those things are what makes a beautiful home. I love making people feel special when they come into my home or when I'm having a party. And I love making everybody feel special and included and and loved through the way I can decorate or buy gifts or whatever it may be. That's to me, that's all part of loving people and serving people and making it an enjoyable environment. One of the one of the things that were that was very important to me as the kids were growing up, especially, was that I wanted I wanted our house to be the hangout. And I mean it that's that has multiple reasons, you know. Number one, I just liked hanging out with my kids and their friends or cousins or whatever. I always thought that they were kind of fun. And the other thing was I like to keep an eye on them and I like to know what they were doing. And and um and and so I had no problem providing the fun for them, you know, and you know, we did have the movies or or whatever. We we had the snacks, we we had the toys, and and it was just a fun environment, you know, and and um I I treated my kids' friends and and cousins the same way I treat treat my own kids. And funny, you know, they still come and talk to me still. But um, but that was always a huge part of making a home and and keeping a home. The other thing is making sure that my husband was comfortable coming home and giving him something to work hard for. You know, he if he had to go out and and make the money and he had to commute an hour and a half to the city every day and back again. So three hours on the road every day, and for 30 years he did that for our family. And it was my desire and obligation to give him a nice place to come home to and and also and not stress him out with overspending or whatever it might be. That, you know, if he said we need to hunker down and go into no spend mode, another one of the phrases that my kids know very well, we knew what that meant. We knew what that meant, you know. General pickup, they know what that means. That means get in the gear and pick up everything before dad walks in the door, you know, and so it was part of our lifestyle that we we keep everything flowing and going. It wasn't perfect, you know. I had dust and grime and you know, all that kind of stuff, but we we learned how to work together as a team. I miss my team. I don't have my team anymore.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:58

Well, we're still here, we're just managing our own homes. Yeah, no, I love that. It makes me think uh one of my favorite quotes, I think it's by um, I think it's from Lexi Sauvey. She says, the home is for the people, not the people for the home. And that just makes me think of everything you were saying is these things that you did as part of keeping a home well were not just for to make yourself look good or as kind of some kind of status symbol that you were like this amazing homemaker or this amazing entertainer or um, you know, whatever it was, organizing, cleaning, decorating. All of these things that you were doing were for the purpose of loving your people well. And how so much of like what you were saying shows how this was all centered on relationship. And that was what made our home a wonderful place to be, is that we were we were all seeking to be in fellowship with each other and enjoying each other. And uh even for other, like you were, you mentioned our friends and cousins who would come over, that that was the atmosphere in in this place, is that this home is for the purpose of of loving you all. And and I think that's where we we really were able to learn why it's so good to be home. And I loved what you said about dad, how you wanted the home to be something that he was working for, that gave him reason to go to work every day, an eagerness to come home, like you were saying, where he was looking forward to it as a place that he wanted to be and not a place that he was trying to escape. So I I just I really love all of that so much. Okay, so kind of in line with what we were talking about with building good relationships with each other, you were very intentional about implementing certain traditions, certain anchors for what our family culture was. We talked about the sayings that that you frequently used in our home, but there were other things like Christmas celebrations, travel experiences, um reading aloud was one of the things. How did you decide which things were the things that you really wanted to prioritize and which experiences were worth creating?

SPEAKER_00 1:11:19

Like uh like I said a little bit ago, a lot of the things that I tried didn't actually take. A lot of the suggestions from a book or a magazine or a or a uh preacher or something like that, they didn't always take. But the things that did take were typically the things that you guys decided after one time this was gonna be a tradition. And it could have been, you know, as simple as we're going to Taco Bell after we go to the dentist, which I know not really character building, but but it was a tradition. And and and uh, you know, thing just things like that where when when we were um when we were reading, you know, we we talked a lot about reading stories, you know, and and we really got into the stories we read. And I mean, and we to the point where when when we were done with the the story and it the movie came out, we were in line at midnight watching that, you know, it was a big deal. And and we don't wouldn't normally do that, but you guys were so excited. And and uh when we went on vacation, we had the we had the blessing of being able to travel in the off season. So that saved us money and we got less crowds. And I always tried to find some kind of educational situation during our vacation. So it was a, you know, quote, field trip kind of thing. But it was never one of those things where you guys were sitting there writing reports or anything like that during our vacation. It was all just discussion. And, you know, I was a firm believer that we did not do school at home. We homeschooled. And so that meant that we weren't always sitting in the classroom listening to mom talk. We weren't always, you know, writing things on the chalkboard. In fact, we never even had a chalkboard. But um school was life, life was school. You know, we remodeled the house one year, and I don't know if you guys even did school that year because you were so busy, you know, doing all the grunt work of the labor, and it was a family project, and you guys learned a lot of new school uh skills that year. But um, I mean, our our traveling was great because you just never knew what was gonna happen. We hit two hurricanes on two separate separate things. So not only did you get history, but you got science and and a fantastic story to tell. And so there were so many things that happened accidentally that are are part of our legacy that it's hard for me to to focus on the things that were intentionally planned for. And uh, I mean, regarding the holidays, yeah, Christmas was huge. Christmas is going to be huge because we have a huge family. And I wanted to make up for the fact that Christmas is always kind of sad and uh melancholy from my from my life. And so we hosted a huge party every year, formal, a formal sit-down dinner, and planned it together and mapped it out, and and it became a huge, a huge experience. And then um everybody in the family, the extended family, the cousins, nieces and nephews, everybody loved it. But then everybody started growing up and new people were starting to come into the family, and and it became too hard to keep it going in that capacity. And so we had to make the heartbreaking decision to let that particular thing go. And it was sad to do that, but you know, you have to what when when your family is growing, you have to be able to adjust traditions as well. And I think that's part of the legacy too, is that you you have to evolve and and you have to allow for the legacy to kind of take on its new form in the next generation of family. And so, and that was hard, you know, it was it wasn't easy to do that, but I think it was really necessary, and I think we've, you know, figured out a lot in that aspect.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:38

Yeah, I think that's a really good bit of wisdom right there, too, for for mothers who are kind of starting to go through the empty nest season, is how uh leaving a legacy for your kid and establish establishing traditions doesn't necessarily mean that these traditions are going to look the same forever. Um, I think the idea is that you are you are creating anchors in your home while your kids are in it, that they're going to carry with them in some capacity with their own children. These traditions that we're seeking to implement in our home are not necessarily the event itself that we are hoping will carry on forever and ever. Um, like you were just saying, it's, you know, not practical all the time for a Christmas party to carry on every single year for the rest of your life. That's not necessarily the goal. The goal that we are trying to translate in a legacy is the culture of what we are cultivating in our home and and that sense of identity that we were talking about as well. Those are the things that are shaping us and are going to be anchors that we carry on as we seek to raise up our own kids, bringing in that same sense of identity that we grew up with and and giving that to our own children.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:56

I think one of the things I I used to try to do is look for opportune teaching moments. So if um if there was a situation where one of you guys were upset about something or or you were mad at each other for for something, we would use that as a teaching moment and not necessarily just, you know, put you in your corners and tell you to shut up and and be done with it. It was usually how can we teach them how to listen to each other or try to understand where each other are coming from? Things like that, where our entire life was about learning and and cultivating the character. So we may have been on vacation, but there was always lessons going on. Um, we may have been having parties, but there was always something being taught. You never stop being a mother and it it blends down into the grandparent role as well. But there's also the joy of of just knowing that this is just the way our our family works. This is the way we always have been, and everybody is, you know, everybody's able to teach each other. It's not just me being the lecturer, although that was the case a lot.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:17

Yeah, these um things really become a part of who you are, and um I I think it sets a standard for what we all hold each other accountable to. And, you know, you brought up now you're a grandmother of five and a huge part of all their lives. So looking back, what do you hope that your children and now your grandchildren will take from your example of home and faith and character? And how do you see the seeds that you planted in our upbringing continuing to grow in the next generation?

SPEAKER_00 1:18:51

What I hope that my children and grandchildren can take from me is that I'm not a perfect person, never have been, never will be, and that there are seasons in life, and in each season a mother um has a s has has a certain focus. I I've always tried to do the very best I can in that season, and sometimes it doesn't look the same as as what you you might remember. It's not my season right now to be focusing on spending as much time with you and spending as much time with your your kids as as I did focus on that when you were living under my roof. It's your season to do that, not mine. And so, as much as I love spending time with you and all of your kids, it's it's a different kind of experience for me, and it's a different kind of experience for you. So, so uh I'm not uh me as a grandmother is not the same as me as a mother, if that makes sense. And I shouldn't be. It it's it doesn't it's it's not necessary for me to be that way because if I were that way, I would be usurping your job as a mother, and I don't want to do that. Now that that's not to say that I won't correct your kids or I won't teach your kids things, but it's uh it's just I know that that is not my primary role in life. And and uh so my goal as a as a mother was to raise adults. It was not to raise children, it was to raise adults, and you guys are now adults and I have done my job. And that doesn't mean my job is forever over, but it means I can sit back and appreciate the fruits of my labor and and be proud of that and and relish in in the the success of my job. But I think that with my grandkids, I just want them to know again that like like with you guys, that I'm here for them, that I love them, that I will listen to them, that you know, they may or may not think I'm fun, they may or may not think I'm cool. It doesn't really matter. But um it's it's uh, you know, my goal is not to be the most fun grandma ever. My gr my goal is not to spoil them rotten. My goal isn't is is not to be a crotchety old lady either. And so um I just hope that I just hope I have enough energy to see them to an adulthood like I was able to see you.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:33

Well, yeah, and like I said, I I think they would definitely beg to differ about you being a fen grandma because they just absolutely adore you. But I I think what I see with your goal with your grandkids is the same goal that you had for for me and Joe. It's just that you want to build relationship and you want them to know God and you want them to know who they are. And I I I hear you saying the same thing with them. Remember who you are. And it's the same thing of remembering, you know, who they are in Christ and remembering who they are as part of this family, and remembering um the the standard of of character and godliness and and hard work and faithfulness that that we all hold ourselves to. And and that's what I see you really pouring into your grandkids. It's it's the same thing that you did with us. It looks different, like you were saying, you know, like you you definitely give us space to take on that role of primary discipler. But I think you and dad both do such an incredible job of coming alongside and supporting us in the work that we're doing and and um really just bolstering it and making the efforts that we are doing as parents go further. And and I just I love that about you and dad so much. So as we're kind of wrapping up here now, if you could give one piece of advice to a woman who is pioneering, figuring out homeschooling, homemaking, raising children on her own like you did, maybe feeling isolated in the efforts that she's trying to make happen, what would you say to encourage her?

SPEAKER_00 1:23:20

Well, I think that one of the main things that I would say is that you need to remember what your goal is. And a second ago I said my goal was to raise adults, and that should be your goal too, because your children won't be children for very much longer, and it happens so fast. But your goal is not to it's it's it's not to make sure that they learn how to brush their teeth, it's not to make sure that they can do their times tables or or that they learn how to drive a car even. Your goal is to get them to be functioning, responsible, God-fearing adults that can actually do it again, do it over, do be parents themselves, be husbands or wives themselves. And and that's the goal. And and uh it's not to it's not to make sure that they're the smartest, that they get into the best college, that they get the highest paying job. The ultimate goal is to raise children with godly character, that will treat each other well, that will treat you well in in your old age, that will live on and remember who they are and represent whose they are, that they will represent God well, that that when people look at them, they will say, that person must be a Christ follower, because he is one of those people that has joy in in everything they're doing. They have uh uh they don't look at their life as a as a drudgery, they look at their life as an opportunity. And having said that, the other thing I think is is incredibly important to give you is that this is the life of sacrifice, a hundred and thousand percent uh of sacrifice, being a mother, especially being a homeschool mother, and being a wife, the kind of wife that that we're talking about, and we're we're encouraging you to become it does take sacrifice, it takes constant prayer, it takes constant devotion to the other people around you and being willing to put all of your wants and desires aside for a different time. And like I said a few minutes ago, there are seasons in life and there will be time for you to have those wonderful things that you're dreaming of. There'll be time to go on romantic dates with your husband, there'll be time to to go on a uh world, you know, traveling vacations, like I've had the opportunity to go on. And and there'll be time to go to bed at night without somebody, you know, waking you up in the middle of the night and staring at you saying that they had a bad dream. You know, those things will come. And every step of the journey, celebrate, celebrate those things. The the things that every stage of parenting, every s every season of parenting has its struggles and it has its things where you're thinking, when will I ever stop changing diapers? And then all of a sudden you're done with diapers, or oh, I can't believe we're finally out of the car seat stage, or they're finished with acne. You know, all these things that every stage in in childhood you go through with your child as a mother, and you wonder, how will I ever get through this stage? And it happens so fast, it really happens so fast. And my my encouragement would be to just enjoy, enjoy it while you can, and just realize that sooner than later this stage will be over with in a blink of an eye. And don't try to just get through it, try to focus on it, try to enjoy it, try to try to look at the humor in it because raising kids is the funniest pastime ever, and and it they are incredibly entertaining, and so just try to enjoy that part of it because it will be over soon. And just don't be so selfish that you have to have it all right now because you don't.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:50

Yeah, that would that was so good. I think that's super encouraging, and just so much wisdom. Thank you so much for sharing that all and as we kind of wrap this up. What is one truth you hope every woman knows about leaving a courageous legacy in her home?

SPEAKER_00 1:28:09

All the all the work, all the sacrifice, all the prayer, it's all worth it. It's there is nothing more fulfilling in life than seeing the fruit of your family labor. Seeing your children uh introduce to their children little things that you had forgotten about as you know, or little traditions that that you guys used to do. It's such a fulfilling occupation. And that um the money, the fame, the notoriety the clicks, the likes, the whatever you might get, the dopamine hit you get from, you know, posting your selfie or whatever it might be, none of that stuff is worth it. None of that stuff is as as important as seeing that smile on your little person's face and getting those hugs and those kisses. And and when those little people grow up to be big people and they call you or text you and and share a little video of their children doing the same thing that they used to do or just one of those things that you know that they remembered from their own childhood. That is what makes it all worth it.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:27

Every it's okay if you get choked up. It just shows how much it means and um it's so true. And mom I just want to thank you so much for coming on and sharing all this with me and with our listeners here. And you you have given me such an example of what it is to be a truly strong woman. You know the world has this definition of what a strong woman is but your example of not listening to the voices of this world that are trying to sway you from the path that the Lord has you on, from maintaining your convictions and persevering in the work that God has given you and seeing the way that you did courageously leave a legacy for our family. Those are the things that have shaped who I am and and the shoulders that I stand on as I seek to do the work that God has given me. And so I'm just so grateful for you and I'm so grateful for you coming on and sharing your heart and your story and your wisdom with all of us today. And I just know that this is going to be something that really resonates with those of us who are in the trenches and trying to figure this out and not knowing if what we're doing matters you know for those of you who are struggling with that and maybe doubting if if what you're doing matters all these things day in and day out, I hope that that hearing this, hearing my mom's story and just how faithful she was in these things like she didn't know that my brother and I were going to continue walking with the Lord and embracing this culture and and carrying these things on with our kids. But now she is getting to see like she said the fruits of her labor. And you know we're not always going to know what it's going to look like but God calls us to be courageous and continue in faithfulness in the work that He has for us right now. And so um I just know that your story is going to encourage so many women and being faithful in the work that they are doing. And I hope that this inspires all of you to go out and be intentional and see just what God can do in your homes when you are willing to commit your ways to him so mom thank you so much for coming on today.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:16

It's been such a joy to have you on thank you so much for having me and look at you look at you ministering to all these people well it's it's all the Lord and you and Dad.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:32

All right friends that's all we have time for today. Please don't forget to leave a review and spread the word about keeping the citadel with your friends as we always do here I'd like to leave you with a little charge to encourage you to go further up and further in your calling so here is my charge to you Proverbs 31 28 through 31 says her children rise up and call her blessed her husband also and he praises her many women have done excellently but you surpass them all is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised give her the fruit of her hands and let her works praise her in the gates this kind of legacy doesn't happen by accident. This is the result of a life lived day in and day out with the unseen faithfulness of a woman who fears the Lord the question for you is this what kind of legacy will you leave? What kind of woman will your children rise up and remember will you leave them a legacy of faith a legacy of beauty a legacy of the goodness of God? Or will you leave them one of fear, laziness, chaos, or the bare minimum? It takes courage to live with this kind of intention. We don't get to see how our stories will end. We don't know the effort or pain they might require of us along the way. But we do get to choose how we will live now. So live in such a way that your children will call blessed. Live in such a way that they're able to experience the aroma of Christ and the meals you make, the candles you light and the music you dance to together. Let them know through your home that life with Jesus is where the good stuff is. It won't be easy. This calling isn't for weak-willed women who shrink back under pressure. But as it says in Hebrews, we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and are saved. So have courage, dear heart. The one who is writing your story is the same one who is crafting a legacy that will leave ripples that touch generations you haven't even met. Until next time embrace your high calling live a better story and keep the flame of your citadel burning brightly