From Creepy DMs To Safety Hacks: Modern Dating Unfiltered

Dating apps can feel like a carnival ride with no seatbelts—glittering profiles, wild openers, and the quiet dread that something’s off. We pull back the curtain on the messages that made us laugh, cringe, and slam the block button, then lay out the exact steps we use to stay safe without losing our sense of humor. From copy-paste compliments posing as romance to instant sexual pitches masquerading as confidence, we decode what these lines really say and how to shut them down fast.

We walk through our verification stack: ask for his number first, run a reverse lookup, compare names and ages across platforms, and scan follower lists to see if he’s there to connect or to collect. A “Brian surgeon” typo, a single-letter alias, or a too-smooth job story becomes a breadcrumb trail that either checks out or unravels. You’ll hear how a quick search exposed a liar with a hidden past, why a burn phone can save your privacy, and which questions reveal character without oversharing.

Between the chaos, there’s empowerment. We share ready-to-use scripts that turn the tables with wit and clarity—firm lines when someone leads with sex, playful comebacks when a message is dumb but harmless, and a clean exit when your gut says no. We also confront the serious side of online safety with real examples that underscore why boundaries are nonnegotiable. If you’re dating online—or helping a friend who is—this conversation offers a blueprint: trust your instincts, verify early, and prioritize respect over attention.

If this resonated, tap follow, share with a friend who needs stronger dating boundaries, and leave a quick review telling us your most unhinged DM. Your story might help someone else swipe smarter.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Hello. Hey guys. We're back with more bullshit. Shenanigans. Men.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Should we get right into it? I'm ready.

SPEAKER_00 0:33

Let's get right into it. I mean, I feel like last time we were like cramming to get through them, so I feel like now we just need to go with it. There's so many.

SPEAKER_01 0:41

There's so many.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

Yeah.

Van Life, Hobosexuals, And Remote Work

SPEAKER_01 0:43

Alright, ready? Ready. Mike. Great profile, Sam. Traveling full time and working remote in my camper van. Just bouncing around the country looking for a new place and possibly a new person that makes me want to plant roots.

SPEAKER_00 0:59

So he's homeless. So he's homeless.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

So at first I was like, oh, that's kind of interesting. Then I'm like, yeah, you're a hobosexual.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

What? Yeah, I mean, it's cool. Like, don't get me wrong, I want to do that probably, like, you know, after I retire, like sell my house, buy a fucking sick RV. No, live in it. This guy's in like a pop-up trailer, probably. Like, definitely. Yeah.

unknown 1:30

No.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

That's are you like, are you living in a Walmart parking lot? It's like he's trying to find a wife so we can figure out where he wants to live.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

That's what I mean. So weird. Like, you should probably pick the girl that looks like she smokes weed and like I have hair extensions and Botox and lip filler.

SPEAKER_00 1:49

What are we doing? I'm not getting a fobo. Yeah, no. You don't even know what you're about to sign up for, sir. Like what? You don't even know. Or don't even know. Maybe, maybe he has money because he doesn't have anything.

Over-The-Top Compliments And Google Lines

SPEAKER_01 2:04

Yeah, but what what the f how are you working when you're driving around? You could work remote. So we just maybe he's a YouTuber. He could be. I well, I just let that opportunity slide. Damn it. Damn it. Unbelievable. I feel like I read this one. We'll see. I'm sorry if I'm repeating these. I'll stop here. Brilliant said Alzheimer's. Sam, those eyes and that smile. I swear Da Vinci would have quit painting the Mona Lisa if he saw you first. No, I bet your beauty has more gravitational pull than the North Pole. Oh whoa. He put a double whammy in that.

SPEAKER_00 2:44

Yeah, he did. I was like, oh, it's gonna get bad. And then I was like, okay, all right. I mean, I feel like this is nice and creative, but it's not for you. No, he googled. Yeah, yeah. And he probably used that same one.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I ended up messaging him because I was like, oh wow. Then it just was creepy. And then everything he said was like a fucking okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:06

So he definitely Googled, like, what do I say to women?

SPEAKER_01 3:09

Anomaly, like a I don't even know what you call it.

SPEAKER_00 3:12

Okay.

“You Got Games On Your Phone?” Boundaries

SPEAKER_01 3:13

Yeah. All right. This guy says, You got games on your phone.

SPEAKER_00 3:19

That's how we started the conversation. Wait, that's how we started the conversation?

SPEAKER_01 3:23

Yeah, that's how he liked me. You got games on your phone. Am I supposed to know what that means? Is this an inside joke that I'm too old to know about?

SPEAKER_00 3:31

I don't know. I I'm more concerned, like, sir, that's personal. Like, you don't need to know what's on my phone. I do embarrassing shit sometimes. Like my number one game, I love tattoos, I love metal. You know, I play Project Makeover. That is my I played this game for years. Okay. It's embarrassing. I don't need a stranger to know about this. You know what I mean? Basically, maybe that's what you're trying to get at. Right? It's Candy Crush, but then you get to like makeover people's lives a little bit. It's fun. Interesting. Okay, but I don't need a man judging me on what's games are on my phone.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

I think that that's more. I want to be like, I should have messaged back. I just ex him because I was like, this is weird. But I should have been like, Well, I think Solitick came on it.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

You should have. But I think that that's more personal of a question than like, what's your favorite color?

SPEAKER_01 4:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:24

You want to know what I'm doing all day? I actually love Sado.

SPEAKER_01 4:28

I love Sudoku.

SPEAKER_00 4:30

Oh, okay.

Neck Braces And God Talk In DMs

SPEAKER_01 4:31

All right. I bet you'd be having guys break in their necks when you step outside. Need to stop walking around with a neck brace to hand out to the guys you walk by. God definitely took his time when he made you. There is a lot of godly references in these, which is interesting for online dating.

SPEAKER_00 4:49

That's what we're doing. He's right. And I like that he just felt the need to tell you about that. That's nice.

SPEAKER_01 4:57

Neck braces. Imagine if I was like you breaking your neck, sir.

SPEAKER_00 5:04

Yeah, exactly. Like, I'll turn the corner for five dollars.

SPEAKER_01 5:08

One day, one day when I get rich, I'll do that.

SPEAKER_00 5:12

I am surprised that guys don't just don't just like throw things at you to like pick up so that they can watch you go nowhere. They're certainly throwing, like I would just like throw a dollar and be like, oh, let's see if she can fix it up. But then I get like a I only paid a dollar.

SPEAKER_01 5:25

Throw on it and I'll shake it on the way down.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

Yeah, right. That's what I'm saying.

Camo Fetish And The Instant Ick

SPEAKER_01 5:32

Oh, this is this is so funny. This one's so funny. Dell. So he's in the army.

SPEAKER_02 5:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 5:39

I could see you in some camos with the hard eyes. I said, ha ha, def have some. Get the fuck out of here. No way. I said, ha ha ha. Yes. Not real ones. Just bought them at the store.

unknown 5:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:53

Because I'm like, what do you mean? Doesn't everybody have bad camos? Like he said, damn, I know you be killing it in that fit. Hard eyes. Fire emoji. I said, ha ha, I'll wear them when I meet you. He says, believe me, I would love that. And I'll take my time, that's for sure. But let's save that for the fourth or fifth date. You can walk out of the master bath and tell me to stand at attention. I said, I think we're thinking of something different.

SPEAKER_00 6:21

Well, no, yeah, you're you're just thinking of like a camo outfit of some kind. He's thinking of like legit fatigues. Yeah, he's thinking of like legit fatigues. I think that's what they're called. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 6:34

Yeah, and how is that hot though? You're completely covered. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 6:39

But then if that's the case, go fuck somebody that you are in the army with. Like they have to wear that anyway.

SPEAKER_01 6:44

Well, that's probably what his we're getting at.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

That's his right, but it's like, okay, that's your pickup line.

SPEAKER_01 6:51

Like, what are we doing? Come walk out of the Masta bath and tell me to stand at attention. I am the ick.

Snapchat Guy And The 3,000 Girls Test

SPEAKER_00 7:00

It's funny.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

Okay, this one's really good because okay, so this guy added me on Snapchat years ago, like in my early single days, because it's been a long time now. And he was constantly DMing me. And I'm like, okay, like when somebody does that, I just feel like you do it to everybody. Like I'm just like, you're nothing to me. Like, I'm not taking you seriously at all. Right. So he's multiple times messaged me, messaged me, messaged me. I kind of ignore him, just whatever. I say shit back and forth, but like it's never, he knows it's not going anywhere. Yeah. He messages me again. He's like, please take me seriously. And I'm like, who are you? Who sent you? I don't even know who you are. He's like, I added you on Instagram, and you wouldn't add me back. And I'm like, Yeah, because you're a stranger. Yes, I don't know you. Like, I don't and I also don't care.

SPEAKER_00 7:51

Right.

SPEAKER_01 7:52

So sorry, I don't want to see your things come up because I don't care.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:57

So, anyways, I add him. I'm like, oh, he's kind of cute. Like, all right. Okay. Yeah, it looks like he travels a lot. Yeah. So then whenever a guy tries to talk to me on Instagram, I always look at their followers.

unknown 8:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 8:17

Who they're following. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:19

Because some of them are just 8,000 naked bitches.

SPEAKER_00 8:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:23

And like, you know, I'm not interested in that. My ex used to like all these half-naked girls, people he went to high school with half naked on Instagram. Like, it's disrespectful. Men don't those men who are doing that don't think it's disrespectful. And they're always gonna do that. I'm good. I'm not dealing with that. I don't have patience. I need a real fucking man.

SPEAKER_00 8:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:42

So I so I see this, and now I'm like, oh, game over. Savage has entered the chat.

SPEAKER_00 8:47

Yeah.

“How Heavy Is That Ass” To “I Want A Wife”

SPEAKER_01 8:47

So I save him in my phone as Reggie 3000 Girls. Okay. And I screenshot it and I sent it to him. And I said, I just want you to know this is how you're saved in my phone. And he goes, huh? I said, Yeah. Because you follow 3,000 half naked girls on Instagram. And he's like, so he goes, You're posing on Instagram. I said, sir, I'm fully clothed. And if you're sexualizing my pictures, sounds like a you problem. Because if I was skinny, you wouldn't be thinking that.

SPEAKER_00 9:22

Yeah, what are you supposed to do with that thing like that? You gotta back it up. It's not your fault. You're just taking a picture of yourself. You know what I mean? What's the problem here?

SPEAKER_01 9:34

Right. If that's if you're sexualizing it, that's your problem.

SPEAKER_00 9:38

Yeah, and you also aren't like you don't have like a million followers on your personal page.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

And I'm not half I'm fully fucking clothed.

SPEAKER_00 9:45

Exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 9:46

What are we talking about? Like I have leggings on in every fucking picture. Jeans and plugged on.

SPEAKER_00 9:51

Sorry if I just look that good. You just uh think it's so sexual and you can't handle it.

SPEAKER_01 9:56

And I'm not, I won't even talk to you.

SPEAKER_00 9:59

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 10:00

Never mind the 800 other people. Like exactly. Do you think I'm just big whore when I won't even talk? I won't even give you the time of day. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 10:08

That's right. You're totally right. Hilarious.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

Yeah. And I have fucking 200 people that follow me.

SPEAKER_00 10:15

Right.

SPEAKER_01 10:15

Yeah, because I'm such a and you know them. Yeah. And they get sick of me and they delete me because I won't talk to them.

unknown 10:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:22

Anyways, goodbye, Reggie. Okay. Morris says, How heavy is that ass though?

SPEAKER_00 10:31

I don't know. How do you weigh an ass?

SPEAKER_01 10:37

I said, too heavy for you to handle, Morris. Yeah. Oh, I wish I had the rest of the conversation. I can't find it. He ended up being like, I live to every day in the gym and blah blah blah. I'm gonna use my tongue to satisfy you. I said, Morris, I am looking for a husband.

SPEAKER_00 10:55

Relax, exactly. I mean, cool, but there's more. No, more than that.

Pants Comments, Thongs, And Dealbreakers

SPEAKER_01 11:03

Yeah, exactly. Like Morris, I say, you don't even know what my favorite fucking color is and you want to lick my ass. Like, I'm offended. That's so true. Okay, this is a really, really good one. Advin. Okay, if you YouTube this man, he is a singer, rapper, something. Oh, cool. Go ahead. Wow, girl. Okay. Admin. So of course I do it for the pod. Sure.

SPEAKER_00 11:35

Because he could write a song about you.

“Daddy’s Got You” Energy And The Line

SPEAKER_01 11:38

I've already had that happen. Okay. So yeah, this guy. You just have to look him up. Everybody that's listening, please look him up. You'll find him. Advin A-D-V-I-N. Yeah. Hello. You are a true Diva queen for sure with boss lady status. Million Dollar Smile and a woman with dignity. Smiley face. How is your day going? I'm 36 years old. I am a huge gentle man. G-A-N T-L-E M-A-N before anything. Happy late Thanksgiving to you and your family, God bless in capitals.

unknown 13:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:05

Wait, is he from this country? Yes. Oh, okay. That sounds like okay. That sounds like someone that's English isn't their first language.

SPEAKER_01 13:14

He looked Russian, so you could be.

SPEAKER_00 13:17

Okay, so he could have moved here from somewhere else.

SPEAKER_01 13:19

Yeah, I haven't actually listened to his music. I looked at it when I was at the gym and Planet Fitness doesn't have Wi-Fi, so I didn't listen. I didn't hear it.

SPEAKER_00 13:27

Yeah. Well, I'm gonna need on that for sure.

The Burn Phone And Reverse Lookup Playbook

SPEAKER_01 13:30

Okay, yep. Just look him up. Making him famous. All right, Trav. I started talking to Trav. I knew something was off with Trav. I just literally do this for fun. Like, yeah, if I stumble on someone that I happen to marry one day, then that's just gonna be what happens because all right. This guy wants to talk. So I'm like, all right, give me your phone number. So this is what I do. I never give a guy my phone number. I ask them for theirs. I'll text you. Sorry, I'm running some errands. Give me your phone number and I'll call you when I'm free.

SPEAKER_00 14:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:03

Works every time. Gives me the phone number, I put it into spy dialer. Name comes up.

SPEAKER_00 14:07

I can't deal with you. You're so funny.

SPEAKER_01 14:09

I Google the name, Google the town, I get his address, I see how much he owes on his mortgage.

SPEAKER_00 14:15

Oh my god, I can't deal with you. You're so funny.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

So this guy, Trav, comes up as Larry. So I respond to him and I said, Why does it say you're Larry? And he goes, Travis is my middle name. I said, So you have a girlfriend. He says, Nope. I said you're 38 on the internet and not 42. He goes, Yeah. So I put this face.

SPEAKER_00 14:44

Wait, can you do that face?

SPEAKER_01 14:48

What's up? I said, you're not who you say you are in my database. I can't deal with you in my database. Yeah, and then he deleted me. Shocking. That's what I thought. Bye, Larry.

SPEAKER_00 15:01

Yeah.

From “D” To Darnell: Catching A Liar

SPEAKER_01 15:02

Larry Traff. Oh, let me Larry Trav. I didn't demonstrate you.

SPEAKER_00 15:08

What's his last name?

SPEAKER_01 15:09

Taylor. I forget. Yeah, like what?

SPEAKER_00 15:12

Steven.

SPEAKER_01 15:13

Fucking idiot.

SPEAKER_00 15:15

I can't see it.

SPEAKER_01 15:16

Oh, wait, oh wait. Morris. Morris's conversation's back. Oh shit. I found it. I knew I screenshot it. Okay. Okay. So he said something to me. It's cut off here. I don't know. Oh. I said, I want a husband, sir. Just like I was saying before. I want a wife. LOL. I said, is your name Morris? He says, nah, that's my first name. Sorry, my inner monologue won on that one. Hold on. Wait, what?

unknown 15:42

Hold on.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

That's no, no, no. Let's go back. So this, yeah, Morris is wait. Is this the guy that said he wants to eat your ass? No, this is the one that said, how heavy that ass, though. And I said, too heavy for you to handle. He says, call me that. Oh, and I said, he said, what are you looking for? I said, waiting for big papa. Because this guy's a retard, I can tell, and I just want to fuck with him.

SPEAKER_00 16:06

Yeah. Sure.

Real-World Safety Fears And Grave Robbing

SPEAKER_01 16:08

Waiting for big papa. He said, call me that will. I bent you. I said, laughing my ass off, Morris. You're a fucking idiot. He said, I'd have your legs shaken. I said, from what? Lifting weights. He goes, nah, my tongue. Laughing my ass off. I said, Morris, that's gotta be your last name. You are wild. I want a husband, sir. He says, I want a wife. He says, nah, that's my first name. Sorry, inner monologue got me on that one. I go, yeah. He goes, my bad. I'm looking for a relationship that leads to marriage, though. Trying to find my lady and spoil her, you know? I said, with your tongue. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

Yeah, we get it, Morris. We get it.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

He said, that'll be one of the ways. Yes, Sam. And then I unmatched him. Yeah. Goodbye, Morris. You're a fucking idiot. Oh, this is gold. This one's gold. Matthew 37. So in one of my pictures, I had these orange pants on. They're orange and like have paisley print on them. Okay. White, white and black paisley. You've probably seen me wear them. They're like, I've had them for years. They're my favorite pants. Whatever. Yeah. He comments on the picture of the pants.

SPEAKER_00 17:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:22

And says, orange and lime green. Love it. First of all, there's no lime green there, so you're colorblind. Then he says, I'm telling you right now, opportunity comes up. I need to borrow a pair of pants. I'm taking these. Hope that's okay with you.

SPEAKER_00 17:39

First of all, he didn't even get the color of the pants correct. So that's alarming. But also, you want to borrow my pants? I can't. He's saying he wants to get in your pants. That's what you're saying? Polite way.

unknown 17:55

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

No, I think he really wants to wear them.

SPEAKER_00 17:58

He might.

SPEAKER_01 17:59

Years ago, I ever tell you about the the baseball player that I talked to. I don't think so. So we s he was really cute. We s and I'm like, why is this guy a baseball player on a dating app? Something's got to be wrong with you, right? Because like I know girls at the road, and he's super cute.

SPEAKER_02 18:15

Yeah.

Hidden Crimes, Child Safety, And Shock

SPEAKER_01 18:15

So I'm like, let me talk to him. So we start talking and he's like, can I tell you something? And I'm like, absolutely. Because like I have to know, right? I knew what's coming. He's like, can I add you on Snapchat to tell you? Yep, sure can. Here you go. He messages me.

SPEAKER_00 18:30

You're like ready to screenshot.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

Yep. Screenshot and block.

SPEAKER_00 18:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:36

He goes, What how would you feel if I wore your thongs? And I said, like my underwears? He's like, Yes, I love wearing women's underwear. Proceeds to send me pics of him in like Victoria's Secret Lacey thongs. Like I literally have the ones that he has on.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

Okay, Ed Gain, relax. Okay. Wait, how long wearing it.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

Fucking five minutes.

SPEAKER_00 19:08

Okay, that's weird.

SPEAKER_01 19:09

No, he just straight up wants because I think that's his thing. Like he wants to dress in women's clothes.

SPEAKER_00 19:14

He just like wants to make sure it's cool because he's gotten rejected so many times. Weird. It's weird that he told you that so quickly.

SPEAKER_01 19:23

I said, Oh my god, I love it. Yeah. Show me more. Yeah, bye. And he sends me more, more, more screenshots, screens cards. I'm kind of mean. I love it. Well, why are you sending me picks in underwear? Like, stop.

SPEAKER_00 19:38

Right.

SPEAKER_01 19:39

Okay. David 33. Sit on my face, please. Clever. Original. Haven't heard of it.

SPEAKER_00 19:46

So funny.

SPEAKER_01 19:47

David, come on. Step up your game. It's embarrassing. So embarrassing. Alright. If the vibe's right, I don't do small talk. I take control. You want real tension? Come get handled. Daddy's got you.

Closing With Power Replies And Takeaways

SPEAKER_00 20:04

Oh damn. That's a lot to break down.

SPEAKER_01 20:11

Yep. Single dad to an amazing six-year-old. I'm not here for drama. Just good energy vibes with us. If the energy's right, you'll feel it.

SPEAKER_00 20:18

I kind of like that.

SPEAKER_01 20:19

The energy is kind of aggressive. Not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_00 20:24

I mean, yeah, I don't know. I think that's kind of nice. It's not as bad as I want to eat your ass. Compared to the items. More graphic, yeah. It's nice.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

So this guy, first of all, his name is D on the app. Like D. Letter D. Okay. And I said, What's your name? And he tells me Daniel. And I'm like, Your name's not Daniel, first of all. So I tell him, he says, Let's take this. So this is what he says to me. See, I You should just give me your number already. I feel like I see us going places. I said, Oh yeah? I said, You haven't even met me. I said the only place we're going is to the local bar so I can get intoxicated while I listen to you lie to me. His first name's D. You're already lying indirectly.

SPEAKER_00 21:20

Yeah. Just say what your name is.

SPEAKER_01 21:21

Wait, wait, wait. And then he told me his job was a Brian surgeon. Okay. A Brian surgeon. Not a brain surgeon. A Brian. I said you can't even spell your fake job correctly. He's like, no, it's because I'm a cop. I don't want people to know I'm a cop. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

You're like, sir, I knew you were a cop. That's why I match with you.

SPEAKER_01 21:45

No, something's off with the guy, right? So I but yes. Right. So I'm like, give me your number. He's like, Sam, just give me your number. So now I know something's weird.

SPEAKER_00 21:57

Ooh, he's trying to do it to you.

SPEAKER_01 21:59

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:01

No, so I go, okay. And I send him my burnophone.

SPEAKER_00 22:05

I can't do it.

SPEAKER_01 22:06

Yeah, because it's gonna come back as a V OIP, and you'll never find nothing out about me. So he messages me and I instantly do it, right? I get his number and I do it. His name's Darnell. So I get his full name. His name's not he tells me his name. His friends call him Dan, Danny, Daniel. His name's not any of those. Darnell. And when I Google his full name, Darnell was chased down by the fucking cops because he tried to shoot someone in 2021 in Dorchester. So he's not a cop, he's a fucking criminal.

unknown 22:44

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 22:46

Yeah, that's why he's calling his name D. Because imagine if he got my full name and knew where I fucking lived. Right. No, he's a scary motherfucker.

SPEAKER_00 22:55

Wait. So wait, when did you respond or you just blocked him immediately?

SPEAKER_01 23:00

No, so then I was talking to him a little bit here and there.

SPEAKER_00 23:03

You're like, I'm gonna try to piss this guy off. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 23:05

Yeah, and then I like fucking made some shit up and was just like, I just want to get them sick of me so that they don't even want to deal with it.

SPEAKER_02 23:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

And then he'd he blocked me on the dating app and never messaged me again. Bye, Darnell. Yeah, they're they're mental cases. This is what's like scary about it. You know what I mean? It's like you just never know.

SPEAKER_00 23:27

Oh, there's psychos everywhere. You know, did you hear about that guy that just got arrested for having like grave robbing? He like robbed all those graves and like Philly. I think it was Philly. What? Yeah, he had over a hundred different body, like pieces of a hundred different people. What? Between his storage unit and how the fuck? He was and then he was selling the shit online. So Steve and I are both part of like an oddities and curiosities group on Facebook, and he's a member. So literally the day after he got arrested, somebody in the group posted on the on the site or on the group and was like, hey, if you bought anything from Jonathan Girlish, I think his name, call the FBI before they call you.

SPEAKER_02 24:15

Imagine yes, yes, wild.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

And like his social media, like every picture, he's like has a skull or like some body part in it.

SPEAKER_01 24:24

Wait, but like motherfucker, you dug six feet.

SPEAKER_00 24:28

He robbed a lot of mausoleums. So you don't have to dig.

SPEAKER_01 24:34

Ew, you like opened up these he's on meth.

SPEAKER_00 24:40

Yeah. Crazy. I mean, he was making a ton of money, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_01 24:46

How did he get in there?

SPEAKER_00 24:49

In where?

SPEAKER_01 24:50

They don't have fucking security?

unknown 24:52

No.

SPEAKER_01 24:53

What?

SPEAKER_00 24:54

No, I guess like somebody I guess somebody ratted him out saying that they like were in his house or something, and there was like bodies hanging, like like skeletons like hanging and shit everywhere. And they were like, this is weird. Dude. And then so they called the police, and then the police were they somebody said they ex they thought he was like grave robbing at some cemetery. So then they put an officer there and they caught him doing it. And then when they invaded when they went in and like, you know, got a warrant to search everything, they found over a hundred different phones from over a hundred different people. And then they found a storage unit. So how long had this guy been doing all this? Who knows? Crazy. But this guy is on Facebook. On like, you know what I mean?

unknown 25:40

Like, what?

SPEAKER_00 25:41

Like he could be on Facebook dating. Like he looks like I mean, he doesn't look like he looks like just like a goth like metal guy. Like he drives a Harley. Like this is from his social media. So he doesn't look that he doesn't look that abnormal. And he's gotta be like my age. He's gotta be like 36, 38, something like that.

SPEAKER_01 26:00

Crazy. So one of my clients, she was telling me about her one of her besties. And she was married to her husband for like, I don't know, 15 years or something. They're like mid-40s, I think. And um, she they never had kids, they didn't want kids. Fine. One day they're having dinner at home, and there's a knock on the door, and it's the police. And so the husband goes upstairs, gets his iPad and his laptop, and gives it to the police and shuts the door. And she's like, What? What's happening? And he tells her that he had been watching child pornography.

SPEAKER_00 26:46

And I think he knew why they were there, and I think selling it.

SPEAKER_01 26:51

Gross. Mind you, they're hanging around children. There's fucking child, their friends' children are fucking around. Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_00 27:00

Yeah, of course. And she's so she's like, Oh my god, I'm better. I've seen him with kids this whole time.

SPEAKER_01 27:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:05

Oh god, that's so fucking gross.

SPEAKER_01 27:07

And how the hell her husband, can you imagine? No, no, I can't. I think I would just she had no idea.

SPEAKER_00 27:14

I would just start vomiting, and I'd be like, get out of this house. Like, you're not you're not what are you doing in here? So are you still in here? Get out of here.

SPEAKER_01 27:20

File for divorce immediately.

SPEAKER_00 27:22

Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_01 27:23

And then I think he left the house and he was like trying to say, like, it's something's wrong with me. She's like, obviously, like what the No, I know that.

SPEAKER_00 27:33

I don't care.

SPEAKER_01 27:33

It's and like it was years, and he was never arrested. Like, nothing, I don't know what happened because I stopped seeing her, so I don't really know the rest of it. But he was on Bumble dating. And imagine if he's fucking dating somebody with a little kid.

SPEAKER_00 27:48

No, what the fuck? What is I can't, dude?

SPEAKER_01 27:52

This is what you never get arrested.

SPEAKER_00 27:54

Yeah, it's wild.

SPEAKER_01 27:55

Because they have to do a full investigation, and that could take forever.

SPEAKER_00 27:57

How do you like but if he was yeah, but if it's on your devices, dude? Disgusting. Like I don't get it. Why? I don't know. People are fucking weird. Why? I know. I know. It's disturbing.

SPEAKER_01 28:17

I don't understand it. Like, how what part of your brain is like uh I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 28:23

I knew somebody, one of my mom's like friends, she was friends with her forever, but her brother killed himself and he like left a note behind saying that he had like always had like thoughts, but never did anything, never looked at anything, did nothing. And then like I guess I don't know how like it was right before he killed himself. He was like at I don't know if it was like the Museum of Science, he was somewhere sitting on a park bench and he had like a phone or something on the ground, and he's like trying to look up little girls like skirts or whatever, and he killed himself because he's like, I was like, I've never acted on anything, and now I just kind of did, and I I'm just gonna kill myself. Like, that's I mean, respectful. Yeah, like what kind of help are you gonna get for that?

SPEAKER_01 29:11

That's well, that's what I mean, because then if you admit that you have a problem, people are gonna be like Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:17

But also like how are you gonna solve that? Like, that's not I don't know. I don't know that that can be helpful.

SPEAKER_01 29:26

Is there though? I mean give them some fucking zip bound. Well, so there's me not eat fucking donuts, yeah. But it's like in little vaginas.

SPEAKER_00 29:40

Gross.

SPEAKER_01 29:41

Gross. Gross well butrin. Give him a little well butrin. People stop smoking cigarettes from that.

SPEAKER_00 29:48

That's fair. Yeah, I don't know. It's disgusting, but we can't end this on this because that's a gross way to end the podcast. Pedos. Yeah, we needed we need something funny to end this on. It got a little dark.

SPEAKER_01 30:01

Okay, I screenshotted this. This isn't one of my conversations, but I thought it was hilarious.

SPEAKER_00 30:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 30:09

Somebody sent this to a guy that they were texting and said, Oh, your fingers worked last night when they were inside of me, but today they can't text me back. I am so used to that.

SPEAKER_00 30:23

That's hilarious.

SPEAKER_01 30:24

Whenever I can actually find someone to have that I actually am attracted to, that's what I would use.

SPEAKER_00 30:33

Yeah, that's the greatest thing I've ever seen.

SPEAKER_01 30:35

Even if they are texting me back, I'm gonna say it anyways.

SPEAKER_00 30:37

Yeah, I urge everyone.

SPEAKER_01 30:38

If it's four minutes, yeah. Even four minutes they haven't responded. That's what I'm responding to.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

I heard I urge everyone that's listening to if you're gonna take anything from this series of the podcast, I would say number one, your automatic response about the dump truck with a cop and how they're gonna have to pull you over. Greatest thing I've ever heard. And then this other thing about how your fingers worked when they were inside of me, but now you can't text me back. Yeah, those are both gold. Gold. And also, if you're date, if you're online dating or not, even if you're just curious, you should get on that tracker thing you were talking about because that's crazy. Dude, you could just find that out, the tip of your fingers.

SPEAKER_01 31:24

You know what's crazy is that people don't do that.

SPEAKER_00 31:27

That's true.

Expanding The Search: Maybe Cowboys

SPEAKER_01 31:28

Yeah, no, I need to teach everyone. I teach all my clients that are single and dating. I said, listen, give me his phone number, I'll do it. I'll show you. Let's let's test it out. I'll show you. And then they're like, Yeah, it's like FBI work. I'm not like, I'm not dating a criminal.

SPEAKER_00 31:44

No, no, but why even bother waste your time?

SPEAKER_01 31:47

That's what I mean. Yeah, and these guys present.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

Never mind your safety.

SPEAKER_01 31:51

They look, you know, the criminals are the cutest ones, of course. Yeah, you look so good. What's wrong with you? Let me look. Oh, you won't 2019. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:01

I exactly.

SPEAKER_01 32:02

No, you don't want to get it.

SPEAKER_00 32:04

I'm sure it wasn't you. We get it. I'm not interested. Don't care. Exactly. Maybe you need to expand your search.

SPEAKER_01 32:14

Me? Yeah. Oh, I've gonna up it to like 70s.

SPEAKER_00 32:19

Yeah. No, I just like geographically.

SPEAKER_01 32:23

Oh no, I'm I'm like, we're all the way to New York.

SPEAKER_00 32:26

Okay, okay, that's pretty far.

SPEAKER_01 32:28

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_00 32:29

Maybe I should go west more, you know, like Virginia, South Carolina, Tennessee, Alabama. Maybe you need some Southern men. Maybe that's your problem. A cowboy. Like, I think Yeah, maybe that's your problem.

SPEAKER_01 32:44

I think my soulmate is a golden retriever, to be honest with you.

SPEAKER_00 32:47

But yeah, maybe you need maybe. I mean, southern gentlemen. A cowboy. Who knows? Yeah, or a cowboy. I mean, my friend Erica and I, when we're in high school, we always we made a pact that it if we didn't find husbands by whatever age, I don't remember, that we were gonna move to Texas and find cowboys. I know. So it didn't happen, but on that note, I'm taking off to Texas.

SPEAKER_01 33:12

Goodbye, podcast.

SPEAKER_00 33:13

Yeah, girl. See ya. Bye.