Ep 4: Catherine's Story

“I could live at Three Pillars for forty years!” Catherine, the youngest and one of the newest residents at Three Pillars’ Village on the Square, loves many things about the campus. The picturesque, natural setting, activities galore… and being a short walk away from her mom, Dorothy, who just turned 101! Catherine might not be sold on Wisconsin winters, but she is sold on the sense of community. Tune in as this dog-loving, cribbage-playing, cornhole-enthusiast shares her story and why she proactively moved from California to the lifestyle she’s been looking forward to in Lake Country.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Welcome to Life's Just Getting Started, a Three Pillars podcast about all things three pillars. I'm Kelsey.

SPEAKER_02 0:09

And I am Josh, and we are here with our newest Village on the Square Resident, Catherine. Thank you for joining us.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

Thank you. We are so glad you're here. Thank you for being on the podcast. So Life's Just Getting Started is all about stories and stories from the awesome people who make Three Pillars is who we are. We have so many great people, and Catherine's one of them, so we're excited to hear from you. You've got a story. Let's start at the start at the beginning. Tell us about you.

SPEAKER_00 0:39

Well, um when I came to Wisconsin, my family moved here from Ohio when I was 11. And so going from a small town to a little larger town, first time on the bus, after school and everything. Lived here, worked here until 2012 when my husband and I decided we would step away from Wisconsin winters, the deep cold and snow and the humidity of the summer, and we moved to Northern California where it was much drier, and dry heat is a thing. About a little over a year ago, my husband was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. And so we went through all of the spring and summer dealing with that. And he passed away in September. And he and I had talked about me moving before he passed away. And I said, Well, I'd like to go back to Three Pillars because my mom and dad had moved here in 2011. And he's like, Well, that's great, but why don't you go to other one of their other campuses in a different state that's somewhere brand new? And I said, you know, I've done brand new moving to California. I'm ready to go back to Wisconsin. And my mom lives here at Compass Point. Um, she's 101 years old. And I was talking to her this morning about doing her taxes, which she still does. Um, and it was gave me the opportunity to be closer to her. I'd been doing several trips, up to 10 trips a year coming back to see her. And my husband was so supportive. He's like, there will always be money for you to go see your mom. And and um it just to be able to be close and pop in and see her, you know, if she needs help. Um, I have her come over to River's Edge to have her out of her apartment and hold lunch or dinner there a few nights a week, and she'll come to my apartment. She's never been an animal person, and she adores my dogs, Olive and Tula, and they absolutely adore her from the moment they met her. Um, my husband had two sisters who live within an hour here, so it's good to be back in the vicinity of being close to them as well. And what else can I tell you? I was a teacher, special ed teacher here. I was a special ed and regular ed teacher in California. My last nine years, I worked as a teacher with the California Conservation Corps, which were young adults between 18 and 26. If they joined the conservation corps and didn't have their high school diploma, they were required to be coming to school to work towards it. And they worked a 10-hour day and then had to come to school for two hours afterwards. And I um was very happy to graduate over 70 students over time. So that was just very, very rewarding and a good high note to end my my career on.

SPEAKER_02 4:06

Oh, I love that. There's there's so much good stuff there, and and I had um a couple of things that that came to mind. First of all, um you're puppers. Like got to meet these first. Right. So got to meet both of them before we started this. They're wonderful. Like, and I love the fact that everything that you talked about talked about community. I think I think indirect indirectly that's one of the things that makes three pillars really special. Um, I love that you know, your mom's just right by you where you guys can visit and and have meals together. Um and I love that you have a chance to share those things together. That's that's really nice.

SPEAKER_00 4:48

It's been great. You know, my my mom's best friend, when we were living in Delafield, her husband was a Mason, and she had moved here and for for years was trying to get my mom and dad to move here. So when they decided to downsize, they didn't think they could move here because he hadn't been a Mason. And I think that was right about when it opened up so that anybody could apply to live here, and and I'm actually living in that friend's apartment. That's amazing. Yeah, I think that was a little bit of serendipity. That is serendipity. And and from the very beginning, we just felt that Three Pillars was this wonderful place. And even then I was saying, wow, you know, someday I might like to live here too.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

Yeah, I love that. I love that what's interesting too, you talked about it, and we've always been open, regardless of any Masonic affiliation. So open to anybody, but I think that to your point, I think there has been or was some market confusion. I think when I first started here, um, I think there was a little bit of that.

SPEAKER_01 5:57

I think in the early 1900s there was there was a little bit of a different model, but that's always been um some misinformation, or or as we evolved and things changed. The fact is anybody can live here regardless of Masonic affiliation, and that's something special and part of you know that sense of community. Um yeah, we there are so many. I feel like we could have you back for the next 14 podcasts, and we can focus on each story. There's so many good, good, good and interesting things in your story. So we let's what else do we what should we go back to and focus on?

SPEAKER_02 6:32

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 6:33

Hugo, you had something.

SPEAKER_02 6:35

Well, I I was particularly drawn, so I was doing my show prep. Is that what they call it in the business? Reading your notes. I was reading my notes. Um shout out, Celia. Thank you for those. Um, anyways, one of the things I was really drawn to, and you started talking about in your story, was um your work around special education. That's near and dear to my heart. Um, my wife's um undergraduate degrees in special education. She taught in the classroom for a while, and we met when she was a community uh community integration specialist. And I'm just curious a little bit about that work. What drew you to that work and and and what did you do? Um that I think that's the kind of work that fills folks' cups.

SPEAKER_00 7:13

Right. Well, my mom was actually one of the very first special ed teachers back in Ohio. That's amazing. As well as having uh a degree in nursing, which she got back during World War II. She's 101. She's seen it. It's incredible. And and she, when she retired, was actually the director of health and the director of education for what was then called the O'Connell Developmental Training Center, which is now called Summit School. So neighborhood thing. Neighborhood thing. And I swore that yeah, I was very introverted and insecure. So when I went into education, I didn't feel confident about special ed. Okay. Even though I had a lot of exposure to it. I wasn't even confident about middle school. Okay. Didn't want to even look at high school older students. And so I got my undergraduate degree in elementary ed through grade six. Okay. There's a safe time frame for me. And I graduated from Whitewater at the very beginning of a 20-year drought for getting a teaching position. So I went on and did, you know, all kinds of other things. I worked at Brownberry Ovens in Okonawalk for years, everything from putting myself through school, cleaning out stalls at one of the local places.

SPEAKER_01 8:50

And teaching jobs just weren't, it were just hard to come by.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

They were very hard to come by if you wanted a job, you like you could teach Milwaukee, but you had to live in Milwaukee. And we actually at the time lived here in Dowsman in a little house that was right next door to what's now the village hall. Okay. And that that house is now a parking lot, but that was the first house that we bought back in the early 80s. And actually, another story that I don't see about back when I was 19, I was actually a nurse's aide at the old infirmary here. That no kidding.

SPEAKER_01 9:33

Just a couple of connections.

SPEAKER_00 9:34

Just a couple, and my mom worked like one or two weekends as one of her multi-jobs. She worked one or two weekends a month as a nurse in the retirement building. Wow. So just a lot of a lot of connection to the community here and all service connected, and uh, it's been a great area to live in. I mean, the only thing that had us leave Wisconsin in the first place were the weather extremes. Right. So when I returned in the middle of January, were you questioning one of the things?

SPEAKER_01 10:12

I was.

SPEAKER_00 10:13

It was like 50 degrees the day I got here, and two days later was 10 below zero. And my dogs being California dogs.

SPEAKER_01 10:22

All those poor guys.

SPEAKER_00 10:23

And what happened? And all of my Vishla having she has absolutely no undercoat.

SPEAKER_02 10:28

I was gonna say not the furriest dogs. Not the furriest dogs in the middle.

SPEAKER_00 10:33

Well, when it was really cold, she had on a onesie to cover her legs, then a midweight coat, and then this big parka coat, and then booties. Nice. And she was just happy to go trotting down the hallway. And my other dog, Tula, wanted nothing to do with any kind of outerwear. Okay. She was gonna brave it. That little bit of uh, you know, that beagle in her and just a touch of lab were like we don't mind the cold at all. But all of us just bundle me up and I'm good to go.

SPEAKER_01 11:07

A little whiplash for them, maybe, but building resiliency.

SPEAKER_00 11:11

They they really adapted quite well. And everyone who lives here was very welcoming of them. And uh they're very much people people. Yeah, they're sweet. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

I was gonna say that's what I thought you were gonna go back to focus on first, because the dogs have we we're oh three pillars loves dogs, we're a dog-friendly community. We have dogs who live here, we have dogs who visit, and here we are. Like, we all like dogs, and they're special, and they're part of you know, part of the community and part of life, and such an important part of your life, your little buddies.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

My mom was so apprehensive, she didn't think I'd be able to move here with dogs. Oh and yet that was the first question I had for Brandon. Yeah, I thought I'd seen dogs here. I knew they're here, but said, I've got two dogs. And he said, You can bring in two dogs. You know, if something happens, of course, you don't bring in a new dog, but you're very welcome to bring in the two dogs. And most people have these little shihtzus or very small dogs, and I come in with my girls weigh like 42 pounds, uh little bit more, but um they love being here and they love meeting all the people.

SPEAKER_01 12:24

Part of the family.

SPEAKER_00 12:25

Yeah, and I hope to eventually take them over to memory care and nursing, and and there's just something about the comfort that comes from being with an animal. And I noticed that right away with my mom, was like I say, she was not an animal person, and they jump up next to her and she just starts stroking them without even realizing she's doing it. Therapeutic.

SPEAKER_02 12:51

Kelsey's a big dog person.

SPEAKER_01 12:53

I'm a I'm uh what do I say, born again? I'm a recovered I used to not care for dogs, which gave many people pause, reason for concern. Like, who doesn't care for dogs? I just didn't know. I didn't, I hadn't had a chance, I never had dogs. And now I have a dog and that my layers of my cold heart are melting. Oh I even have a dog voice now. I like him.

SPEAKER_00 13:21

When um my husband was really struggling with his cancer and getting sicker and sicker, Tula just curled up on the bed next to him the whole time he was in bed. Yeah. And she helped him sleep. And I had a monitor so I could see if he needed help with anything. And every once in a while I'd see him reach out with his arm, tap her a few times to see that she was still there, and if he got restless, she'd stand up while he got settled or went to the bathroom. And then as soon as he was down, she just curled up right next to him. There's something 18, 20 hours a day she was doing that. Oh wow. Yeah. Wow. And the two of them really helped me this fall and this winter with losing him. Oh, good. I could talk forever about my dogs.

SPEAKER_03 14:14

I know we could have had them here.

SPEAKER_02 14:16

But well, the other thing I noticed um is you are a bags player now.

SPEAKER_00 14:22

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

Do you call do you say bags, cornball, bag toss?

SPEAKER_00 14:27

I go back and forth, yes. Um, Marilyn has really gotten me involved. So I she got me playing bags right away. And last Friday we had a tournament with with um the independent um part of Shorehaven.

SPEAKER_01 14:46

Oh my gosh, inter intercommunity rivalry.

SPEAKER_00 14:49

It was it was it was a lot of fun. Who won? She also um I think we did. Okay. We've got some.

SPEAKER_02 14:55

We do have a title we continue to defend, as I understand it. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 15:00

Dave and Lark. No big deal. And Marilyn is just uh and then she also got me started playing um Oh, which is partly.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

Otherwise known by other names some other names. Oh, I don't know. That's a fun game. That was a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_00 15:17

So I'm doing that now.

SPEAKER_01 15:19

Is that where there's trick there's like you have one trick, two tricks, and you go around and take a trick, you bet on what you're gonna take.

SPEAKER_00 15:25

Yeah. I think also known as each round you get more, you go up to how many you can, how many cards you have in your is that every night, every week now? No, we do that Sunday. Oh, no. Once a week um Bags is on Tuesday, Saturday night.

SPEAKER_01 15:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:44

Saturday night. Is your schedule pretty busy these days? It is. And then I had been talking to Diane. I said, Does anybody here play cribbage? Yeah. And she's like, Well, I don't know, but we can put out a survey to see if anybody's interested in playing cribbage. I'm certain there's so I started a cribbage.

SPEAKER_02 16:04

Love it.

SPEAKER_01 16:04

Look at you as it started. You found the people and have you started.

SPEAKER_00 16:07

Yeah, I did a she got me the names of people, and then I did a little survey that I put on everybody's ledge and said, we're looking at these days of the week or these two times, what would work good for you, and then we settled on Wednesdays. Perfect.

SPEAKER_01 16:25

So that's three days a week. For sure you've got stuff. Yes what fun, the beauty of community. There's if you if you want to stay home, you stay home. And if you want to find people to start a cribbage group, just ask and they're here.

SPEAKER_00 16:36

And I've had people who have invited me or invited me and my mom to sit with them at lunch or dinner. And you know, a couple invited me to sit at their table for the Supper Club last week, which was a lot of fun. Good. And I've been really encouraged and signed up to go to the gala.

SPEAKER_03 16:58

Looking good.

SPEAKER_00 17:00

Um, so yeah, we'll see you there. Pretty busy. And you know, how their people have paintings up on the wall. One of them really appealed to me, so I talked to the woman who painted it downstairs and said, I want to buy that from you. And, you know, not just because it appealed to me, but I want to support the there's so many artists that live here. It's just incredible. And I've got an apartment that needs some things on the walls. There you go. So win-win. They're talking about having kind of a gallery where people can sell their work and I plan on going shopping there. There you go.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

I love that. My mom just bought a piece of art from somebody here for her home. There's so many talented people. Have you dabbled in? Are you a creative person? Have you done any of the artsy things?

SPEAKER_00 17:50

When I was a lot earlier, I did a little bit of dabbling. Okay. And never became more than dabbling.

SPEAKER_01 17:56

Okay, just to dabble. So maybe in the next 20 years you can dabble back if you feel like.

SPEAKER_00 18:00

I'm gonna be here for hopefully. Well, I've got longevity on my part with my mom being two people older than her, and I'm the youngest person here. So I've got a few decades ahead of me.

SPEAKER_01 18:14

Oh, you can you can plan on, yeah, you're gonna stay 101 and then some. So maybe you want to pick up art again. Who knows?

SPEAKER_00 18:19

Well, she did it until just like two years ago. She was taking part in the art class as well.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

You guys are this dynamic duo, Catherine and your mom, like celebrity that is so special. I tell her, you don't look a day over 85. She doesn't. She's I don't know, she could be 70 if you ask me, but she's dangerous.

SPEAKER_00 18:45

Um her posture. I used to tell my students, you know, if you're slouching like this, you're compressing your chest and you can't get oxygen. Oh my god. What does your brain need? Oxygen. Right. But if you sit up straight, you're kind of feeding your brain, and uh you'll do better.

SPEAKER_01 19:13

Lessons from Dorothy and Catherine. Oh my god, I've never thought about my posture linking to longevity.

SPEAKER_02 19:18

For the record, I have never heard it used this way, so I'm going to describe aging as when I was earlier. I think that's how you just when I was earlier. Oh, yeah. And I'm going to visit it. Yeah, I'm going to absolutely do that, referring to my younger years. I like that. My years.

SPEAKER_03 19:36

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:37

I love it. Can you talk a little bit about, we were talking about activity and all the things that you do, um kind of your social hour and and stories that you you may have from your time in the afternoons.

SPEAKER_00 19:51

And one of the first things one of the people on the floor said was every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday afternoon from four to five or whenever, we gather here in just this little seating area. And, you know, sometimes we might sit there and twiddle our thumbs, and sometimes only two people show up, but the first time I sat in, we were celebrating Marilyn's birthday, and and there were like a dozen people in here. Fun. Wow. And usually somebody brings a snack or two, and we just sit there and talk about whatever. One of the other people in the hallway one day said, today's topic is an announcement. Most of us seem like we come from either a teaching background primarily, or you know, or nursing, which back in the day women were teachers or nurses.

SPEAKER_02 20:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 20:52

Or in my family's case, both. Right. Um, and so everybody in the group went around and kind of talked about their teaching experiences. And it was really a good way for me to get to know the people on the floor, but they were they were learning about each other as well. And Monday, when we got together, one woman brought in a game that she had been kind of one of those silly games that she got for her birthday, and so we were playing that. But we just have some really nice conversations about anything and everything.

SPEAKER_02 21:31

That goes back to that sense of community too.

SPEAKER_00 21:33

Absolutely, and and that sense of community was a big part of what drew me to come back here. Sure. I like the community and the sense of safety that provided for my mom and dad, and and it's just like the most wonderful place to be. And you couldn't live in more beautiful grounds. Right. Natural beauty.

SPEAKER_01 21:57

And you've been part like that's what I Keeps striking me as so special. You've been part of the I guess, depending how you use the word, you know, the sense of community, but you've been in this area for so long, part of the community. Goodness, work, you know, working a little bit at Three Pillars. And then since your both your parents were here, like you've been part of this Three Pillars community for for a long time. A long time. Visiting 10 up to 10 times a year, even when you're in California. I I would imagine that since like you've known people, you've seen, you know, changes on campus, you've seen the you know, new specials in the dining room.

SPEAKER_00 22:34

I know you know I kind of knew how everything ran. And both my brother and sister, my my brother can't come very often, um, but my sister, she lives in Washington, DC. Okay. Comes like every other month or so. Oh wow. And actually on the 1st, they're both flying in to spend a week here. Oh, this was kind of our place to where we could all get together with my mom. Wonderful. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:02

Big plans when when they're all here, you gonna have some meals together, do everything?

SPEAKER_00 23:07

Yeah, just togetherness. Just togetherness. You know, we were all here with a couple of the nephews for her 101st birthday. For her hundredth birthday, we did a big party downstairs. She um she's just really low-key. She doesn't want any fuss made about her at all.

SPEAKER_01 23:27

She's got such fun, such a big deal. Okay, so one of the things that struck me too, I wanted to come back to was the the serendipitous moment about your mom's best friend and the apartment you're in now. So your mom's best friend from life, from living in Delfield. When you lived in Delfield, okay, so her best friend ended up moving to Three Pillars before your mom, before your parents did. So the best friend then talked them, your parents, into moving here. Right. And so then you would visit your mom and dad here, and your mom's best friend was down the hall. Fast forward to now, and the apartment that was available when you were ready to move in, right? Is that best friend's apartment?

SPEAKER_00 24:10

Yes. She got my parents to come visit to the come to the lunch and learns. Oh, sure. You know, eat in the dining room, and and that gave them a good introduction introduction to life here. And then when they were ready to do that, we we actually went around to a few different places and they didn't hold a candle to three pillars. So my my mom's friend Dottie had lived in my apartment, and they were in the apartment right across from the elevator downstairs. Okay. So I'm up one floor and across the up and over. Across the hall. And so when I was talking with Brandon, when he said there was an apartment open, and I said, Well, can you tell me where it is? And he said, Well, you get off the elevator and you turn to the right, and then you turn to the first apartment on the right, and that's where it is. I said, Well, I know exactly where that apartment is. You can picture that from California, no problem. I can tell you where furniture was placed. That is and so I that just made me feel good. Everything just started falling into place as soon as I put my name on the list, and I said I'd be willing to take a smaller apartment because initially I put in for two-bedroom, two-bathroom, you know, I'm downsizing a little bit. Sure. And then I said, well, you know, maybe I can come in earlier and take a smaller apartment and keep my name on the list.

SPEAKER_03 25:48

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 25:48

And so this became available, and like I say, all the pieces for selling my house and changing all the billing in California took place. And after I got settled in here, and my brother and sister came in, him from Montana and her from DC, to help me move. I even had a cousin come down from the Twin Cities to help me move. Um, it just felt so comfortable that I decided, well, I think this is the part and I'll stay in. And my sister had the day I was starting my drive here, flew from DC to Sacramento. I picked her up there, and in less than three hours we were on I-80 heading here with the dogs in the car. Off you go, the road trip of a lifetime. She's a great sister. Things just fell right into place.

SPEAKER_01 26:40

It's gotta just feel like right where you're meant to be. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 26:44

Well, we're so glad you're here. And and as we get close to wrapping up this episode, one of the things that we ask everybody is is their favorite spot on campus? So do you have a favorite spot you like to go?

SPEAKER_00 26:57

Outside, I just love being outside. And that's the nice thing about having dogs is they get to outside. Right. They really do. And if it's inside, I mean, this is one of my favorite spots right in this little lounge area because I have the opportunity of interacting with my neighbors so much. And it, you know, it doesn't feel like I moved to an apartment building because I wasn't going to be able to afford that in California. Right. It feels like I moved into an apartment neighborhood. Oh, I love that. And and it just if a regular apartment building, there's often very little to do with your neighbors. Sure. It's just come and go. But here, it's just that much of a sense of community. It's um an apartment neighborhood. Well, you were wonderful.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

Thank you so much for that.

SPEAKER_01 27:53

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

It was great talking with you.

SPEAKER_01 27:55

Yes, thank you for being with us. Thanks for listeners for tuning in to Life's Just Getting Started, a Three Pillars podcast about all things three pillars. Thank you again, Catherine.

SPEAKER_02 28:05

I'm glad to be here.

SPEAKER_01 28:06

I'm Kelsey.

SPEAKER_02 28:08

I'm Josh. We got some puppies to go pet.

SPEAKER_01 28:10

So, with that, we are signing off.