The Resilience Project
Illuminating the unseen impacts of adoption — for all who’ve been touched by it.
The Resilience Project Podcast brings voice, visibility, and validation to the parts of adoption society rarely names - but all of us feel. Through a trauma-informed somatic lens, host Julie Brumley explores the lived experiences of the entire adoption constellation, with a tender emphasis on the adoptee experience.
This podcast goes beyond storytelling into soul-telling. It offers embodied insight, compassionate education, and a path toward awareness, strength, and hope. Each episode invites listeners to understand adoption more deeply - not just with the mind, but with the nervous system - and to reconnect with the truth, identity, and belonging that were always yours to come home to.
The Resilience Project
Surrender Over Control: The Missing Piece in Adoptee Healing
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Discover how surrender, rather than control, can transform the adoptee’s healing journey. In this episode, Julie explores the deep psychological and somatic stages of adoptee awareness and how embracing surrender leads to genuine self-belonging.
In this episode:
- The misconception that mastery and control are the core issues for adoptees
- How early trauma impacts our response to loss and control
- The adoptee consciousness model: five pivotal stages of awareness
- Key somatic cues associated with each stage
- The importance of surrender as a radical act of self-trust and agency
- Practical prompts for identifying your current stage and practicing surrender
- Resources for deeper healing and connection in the adoptee community
Chapters:
00:00 - Introduction to the core issue: surrender over control in adoptee healing
00:31 - Why mastery and control are misconceptions—what's really happening underneath
01:01 - The impact of early loss and trauma on control responses
02:01 - How survival strategies turn into ways of living for adoptees
02:25 - Brene Brown’s concept of wholehearted living rooted in gratitude and spirituality
03:19 - The role of surrender and trust in healing from trauma
04:09 - The adoptee consciousness model overview and its cyclical nature
06:42 - The five touchstones of awareness: from status quo to transcendence
07:25 - Stage 1: Sleep — acceptance of the dominant narrative without questioning
09:09 - Stage 2: The rupture — disorienting insights that challenge the status quo
11:14 - Stage 3: Dissonance — emotional unrest, conflicting beliefs, and emerging identities
13:23 - Stage 4: Expansiveness — integrating truths, setting boundaries, and defining your narrative
14:34 - Stage 5: Forgiveness and activism — surrender as a radical act of agency
16:33 - Reflection prompts: identifying your current touchstone and practicing surrender
17:36 - Physical practices for releasing control and cultivating self-compassion
19:03 - Resources on adoptee awareness models and healing pathways
19:52 - Upcoming event: Unmothered - a revolution in adoptee healing
20:05 - Closing thoughts and encouragement for your healing journey
Resources & Links:
- Out of the Fog into Consciousness
- Unmothered: A Revolution in Adoptee Healing — May 23-24, Moscow, Idaho
- Adoptee Consciousness Slides I presented
- Skeletons in the closet episode
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