The Resilience Project
Illuminating the unseen impacts of adoption — for all who’ve been touched by it.
The Resilience Project Podcast brings voice, visibility, and validation to the parts of adoption society rarely names - but all of us feel. Through a trauma-informed somatic lens, host Julie Brumley explores the lived experiences of the entire adoption constellation, with a tender emphasis on the adoptee experience.
This podcast goes beyond storytelling into soul-telling. It offers embodied insight, compassionate education, and a path toward awareness, strength, and hope. Each episode invites listeners to understand adoption more deeply - not just with the mind, but with the nervous system - and to reconnect with the truth, identity, and belonging that were always yours to come home to.
The Resilience Project
Overcoming the Burden: An Adoptee's Journey to Self-Love and Community
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In this heartfelt episode of the Resilience Project podcast, Julie Brumley sits down with Jennifer Skiles - an adoptee and author - to explore the deep roots of the "I am a burden" belief and how it shapes the lives of adoptees. They discuss becoming aware of this inner narrative, healing through community, faith, and self-compassion, and the transformative power of sharing stories.
Key topics:
- The impact of early abandonment and societal messaging on adoptee self-perception
- How writing a story and embracing vulnerability facilitated healing
- The role of faith and spirituality in recovering identity and hope
- Recognizing harmful patterns like people-pleasing and shrinking to avoid being a burden
- The importance of community, shared pain, and belonging in healing
- Practical steps: trying new approaches, setting boundaries, visiting inner children, and practicing self-compassion
- The significance of safe spaces for adoptees to process their experiences
- The upcoming "You Are Not a Burden" online gathering
Chapters:
02:01 - The deeply rooted belief "I am a burden" among adoptees
03:41 - Jennifer shares her story of reuniting with her biological father
05:57 - How writing her book helped Jennifer own her story and heal
07:27 - The emotional process of feeling heard for the first time
10:23 - How the burden belief influenced relationships and behaviors
12:18 - Experiences of abandonment and not feeling accepted
14:16 - Societal pressure and feeling lucky versus feeling loved
15:28 - The "life gap" and missing early childhood memories
17:39 - Adoption statistics and societal misconceptions
19:40 - The importance of community for adoptees’ healing
22:21 - The power of shared stories and recognition
23:50 - Supporting each other through vulnerability and connection
24:44 - The impact of the burden belief on relationships and fears of rejection
26:02 - Faith and spirituality as sources of stability and healing
29:14 - Visiting inner children to foster self-love
30:07 - The body’s role in processing trauma
32:46 - Dispel misconceptions and set healthy boundaries
34:18 - How trying something different can shift perspectives
36:54 - The necessity of self-compassion in healing journeys
38:24 - Recognizing what is meant to be left behind
41:19 - Celebrating loved ones and releasing grief creatively
43:47 - The upcoming online gathering "You Are Not a Burden"
44:30 - What to do if you feel hesitant about engaging
46:33 - The role of community versus doing it alone
47:58 - Building safe spaces for raw, authentic conversations
50:27 - The relief of being understood without explanation
52:02 - Encouragement to take the first step even with resistance
54:03 - Reshaping beliefs through new actions and perspectives
57:24 - The importance of belonging over independence
58:24 - Details on the free online event and ongoing connection opportunities
Links - Jennifer Skiles' Book "Vault of Treasures"
You Are Not a Burden - Online Gathering
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