Inspiration and Insights from Engage! Santa Barbara

Let me take you on a journey through Engage Summits, a premier three-day conference  for luxury wedding professionals. As I navigate through inspiring sessions and networking opportunities, I share my personal experiences and insights gained from industry leaders. From the importance of work-life balance to redefining success and embracing vulnerability, this summit has been a transformative experience. Join me as I reflect on the valuable lessons learned and how they will shape my approach to business and creativity.

Key takeaways:

• It's important to elevate your mindset as much as your business, pushing you to think bigger about the clients you serve, the experience you offer, and what success really looks like
• True success is not just money or accolades, but boundaries, presence for family, resilience, and defining what fulfillment looks like for your own life and season
• Relationships and reputation matter more than quick connections.  Trust is built by showing up fully, delivering consistently, and being someone others genuinely want to work with
• Standing out comes from authenticity, vulnerability, and storytelling, not perfection, especially as newer generations value process, connection, and real moments over polished images
• Clear communication, thoughtful risk taking, and intentional branding across your website, social media, and in person interactions are essential in a more cautious and competitive market

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Transcript

Hey guys, welcome back. This week’s episode is a special one because I’m recording it right from Engage Summits, the three day immersive experience for luxury wedding professionals. If you’re not familiar with Engage, it’s essentially the hub for top planners, photographers, designers, luxury brands, and creatives in our industry. It’s where people come to learn, be inspired, connect, and dream a little bigger about what’s possible in the world of high end weddings. This is my fourth time attending, which still feels surreal. Every time I come back, I’m reminded of how much this summit has shaped the way I think about my business, the kind of clients I want to serve, and the level of experience I want to give the couples who trust me with their day. It’s the kind of environment that pushes you without feeling overwhelming. Everyone here is genuinely invested in elevating the industry together.

So there are early morning sessions and then late night parties. You really have to time everything so that you get the most out of it. I want to bring you along on my journey, and I’m going to be breaking things down day by day. I’ll be sharing what each day looks like, what I’m learning, the people I’m meeting, and the ideas that are sparking. Think of this as a little behind the scenes audio diary of Engage, what it’s really like to be here, and the moments that inspire me each time I attend. So let’s jump into day one.

I just got here, and the first thing you do is go straight to the gifting room or area. We got a personalized bottle of wine, really awesome jackets, and even a pair of Uggs. A big part of Engage is the gifting. They really focus on creating an elevated experience. This is something that, when you get into the luxury sector of wedding photography, you’ll notice. Everything is an elevated experience from A to Z.

One fun thing about Engage is that every day you have two themes. You have a mood board of attire for the daytime and then one for the nighttime. Right now it’s Spanish style, a little more casual. This year we’re in Santa Barbara, and it’s taking place at the Ritz Carlton Santa Barbara. I think tomorrow night we’re going to the Rosewood Miramar Beach for dinner. We’re going to be starting the opening session soon, and that’s where there are introductions and inspiring speakers. I can’t wait to report back on who’s up on the stage and what they share.

All right, I’m back. This time it’s the evening of day one. We had the opening session, and there were some very inspiring speeches. I took some notes, and these are some of the takeaways I had from the speakers. Lindsay Conklin from L Rev Films had us all in tears because he spoke about work life balance, but specifically about being a parent and missing important events sometimes because of our work. I think that resonated with so many of us. He also took videos of some of the professionals in the industry and their kids talking about them, and that was so touching.

I think the lesson was that kids are resilient. They’re going to be okay with you missing things here and there, as long as you’re there for most of the milestones, the birthdays, and they understand more than we think they do. They understand why what we do is important. It was very enlightening and emotional. I loved that we had a videographer on the main stage for the opening session. I may be wrong, but from what I remember, it’s usually planners and other people in the industry, so it was really cool to get a videographer’s perspective.

Some of the things Lindsay Conklin mentioned were that in order to have work life balance, you have to implement boundaries. It’s okay to say no to some things. Of course, you don’t want to say no to something that would be a standout career move, but you don’t have to say yes to everything. That’s where boundaries come in. Another thing he talked about was redefining success. A lot of people think success means making the most money or having the most accolades, but for some of us, success is being able to be there for your family. Even though we sometimes miss events because of work, we also get to be there for a lot of things, like school pickup, because of the flexibility of this career.

Another speaker was Josh Spiegel, and he was amazing. He talked about the ROI of attending networking events like Engage. One big takeaway was making the ask. If you don’t ask, who’s going to give it to you. People like clarity. I’ve always wanted everything to be based on merit, but sometimes you have to make people aware of who you are and reach out to them to let them know you’re interested in working together. He said to take opportunities you want even if the pay isn’t there yet, especially with planners you want to work with, because it will pay off. The way you build a reputation that makes people want to work with you is how you show up the first time. Giving 100 percent, showing up, and over delivering builds trust for future events.

People think they can show up to Engage or any networking conference, talk to someone for five minutes, feel a connection, and then expect to get work. That’s not how it works. You have to show that you’re reliable and trustworthy. Of course, liking you matters too, and that’s the first step. Those five minutes help so that when you reach out later, you’re not a stranger.

Lynn Easton took the stage, and I’ve seen her speak several times. She’s always inspiring and very to the point. She talked about showing vulnerability on social media. That’s not something she used to do, and I know a lot of us resist showing our personal lives online. Even if you’re not comfortable sharing personal details, she encouraged pulling back the curtain on events and showing behind the scenes. People like seeing the process and what it takes to get to the final product. She also mentioned that we have a responsibility to leave the industry better and elevate together. She shared that she now teaches her timeline method and software to help other planners improve their logistics and workflows.

The last speaker of the opening session was Simon T. Bailey. He’s an award winning keynote speaker, coach, and author, so of course it was very inspiring. When he came out, he had us stand up and dance with him, which immediately put us in a great mood. One thing he said that really stood out was that we need to amplify others because it gives us a helper’s high. He also talked about how it’s okay to give a little extra for nothing. There can be a lot of competition and comparison in this industry, and his message was a reminder that we should be more supportive of one another.

All right, so that’s it for day one. I’ll be back tomorrow to talk about more of what I’ve learned. I’m going to talk less about the nighttime events since those are mostly about networking and having fun, unless something really stands out. I want to focus more on the education portion.

Okay, I’m back. This is day three of Engage. I didn’t record yesterday for this episode, but I did record with my friend Camilla Margata, another photographer from San Diego, close to Orange County. She had a lot of valuable insights, and that will be the next episode. I can’t wait for you guys to hear it. This is the last day, and it’s been a whirlwind. I’m a little tired, but it’s all worth it. We’ve had a lot of education, and I want to wrap up everything I’ve learned over these three days.

On day two, we had more speakers on the main stage, and today we had breakout sessions in smaller groups that were more niche and specific to our categories. I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m definitely tired. This conference is very go go go, but it’s all worth it. There’s been lots of socializing and amazing food here at the Ritz Carlton Santa Barbara, and just so much to look at. We had the first gala last night at the Rosewood Miramar Beach, and it was really an experience. There was a black tent, black and white decor, an orchestra, dancers, and dueling pianos. This conference is definitely the top of the top.

I’ve been able to speak with people I’ve admired and really enjoyed meeting Jason Rhee, who also spoke on the stage yesterday. This is a luxury conference, but there are things we can take away from every speaker that can help build or better our businesses. Even if you don’t want to work at the luxury level, providing good service and understanding the business and the market will help no matter where you are.

The first speaker I want to mention from day two was Tyler Speier, the planner from Santa Barbara who put this whole thing together. I was really impressed with how intentional everything was. He explained the themes of each day and why he chose them. On the first day, the gifting theme was butterflies, inspired by the monarch butterflies that migrate from Canada to Mexico and stop in Santa Barbara. Seeing those butterflies immediately put everyone in a calm and reflective mood. One of the biggest takeaways from his talk was that comparison is the thief of joy. It’s hard not to compare ourselves to others, but it’s important to remember that what you’re doing is right for you. You don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes for someone else or what connections helped them get where they are. It’s better to focus on what brings you joy and what works for your business.

We all have different circumstances. Some of us have families, some of us can travel more, and we all have different goals for the types of weddings we want to shoot and how we want to run our businesses. Comparing yourself to others doesn’t help you. What a joy and a treat it was to hear Mindy Weiss speak. I’d never heard her speak before and didn’t realize how funny she is. One thing I loved was when she said she gets inspiration from all of us and from what we put out into the world. That really reframed comparison as inspiration. When she was asked if she has work life balance, she answered very honestly, no. But she shared that her kids appreciate the life she’s been able to give them, which is something important for us as parents to remember.

The next speaker was David Stark from David Stark Design. He talked about how things go wrong all the time, even though social media shows everything as perfect. The mark of a good producer is how you think on your feet when something goes wrong. He also said that people want to do business with people they want to hang out with. You can be the most talented photographer, but that alone won’t get you recommended. People work with you all day, and your personality and how you treat others really matter. One quote I loved from him was, art is the heart and soul of what we do. He also said what a privilege it is to be in an industry where we’re paid to create joy, which is such a good reminder of why we do this.

Jason Rhee was another standout speaker. I loved his talk so much. He shared a health crisis he experienced in the middle of planning a massive wedding and what he learned from it. His biggest takeaway was that the power of our industry is resilience. We recover, we rebuild, and this industry is built on people supporting people. He also said that recovery can sometimes look like allowing yourself a reward without having done anything for it. Even though he talked about a very serious experience, he shared it with so much joy and light. I was able to speak with him afterward, and he was incredibly welcoming. I’m a big fan.

We also heard from Jefferson Fisher, an attorney and the author of The Next Conversation, and we all received a copy of his book. He spoke about mastering impactful communication. Even though he’s not in the wedding industry, everything he shared applies to business in general. He talked about how words have a ripple effect and why it’s important to respond with control rather than react emotionally. One thing that stood out was learning to sound more assertive by cutting unnecessary apologies and replacing them with gratitude. Instead of saying sorry I’m late, you say thank you for waiting. He also encouraged cutting filler words like literally, obviously, just, and very, and communicating more directly.

He talked about how people struggle with saying no and suggested softening it by explaining why, rather than just shutting someone down. He also shared a great tip about language. Instead of saying don’t get upset, you can say you might get upset, but, which can help lower defenses. Those were really practical tools that I think we can all use.

Another speaker was Brian Raffanelli, who talked about how people are choking on a sea of sameness and how important it is to disrupt that, even with small shifts. That tied in really well with Danielle Frankel, the dress designer, who spoke about imitation and how it actually pushes her to become even more unique. She shared that her growth has been calculated, but that she’s also taken risks, and that you can’t grow without some level of risk. She worked for years without seeing a salary, and that long gamble eventually paid off. That really resonated with me, because taking calculated risks is something we all have to do in business.

We also heard from Nadine Zulstra, the head of programming at Pinterest. She shared that Pinterest is focused on making people feel positive, which makes so much sense when you think about it. There are billions of wedding related pins saved each year, and surveys show that couples want smaller, more bespoke weddings. Pinterest even publishes future wedding trend data, which is something we should all be paying attention to so we can reflect those trends on our websites and social media.

The last speaker of day two was Todd Fiscus from Todd Events. He talked about being careful with over delivering, because clients don’t always realize they’re being gifted something. For example, staying extra time at a wedding without communicating that it’s a gift can go unnoticed. If you give something away, make sure your clients know it’s a gift. That might mean listing it on an invoice and then discounting it so they understand the value.

Today we had breakout sessions, and I went to Abby Joo’s. Abby Joo is a wedding photographer with a team based in New York, and she talked about how perfection doesn’t build trust. Gen Z wants storytelling and authenticity. They want to be brought along on the journey, not just shown polished images. Posting with purpose and showing the process helps build connection, especially when things don’t go perfectly.

The last speaker I want to mention is Sam Jacobson from ID Action Consulting. I first heard him speak at my first Engage four years ago in New Orleans, and I was blown away then too. He talked about how in 2025, couples are more cautious, budgets are tighter, and competition is heavier than ever. Networking matters more than ever, and standing out is key. He emphasized perfecting your introduction, elevating your listening skills, and remembering that you don’t just need to be interesting, you need to be interested. He also talked about using images that trigger emotional desire and making sure your website encourages inquiries.

I think I’ve covered everything I learned in a nutshell. I’m getting ready to head to the final gala tonight, and I can’t wait to go home and start implementing everything I’ve learned into my business. One last thing I want to touch on is the relationships built at Engage. It’s unlike any other networking event I’ve attended. Everyone is open, welcoming, and truly there to engage. It fills your cup with education, inspiration, and meaningful connections with people you admire in the industry.

Thanks for joining me on my Engage journey, and I’ll see you next week.