Fon Dockery Spotlight

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Good man, good, good. Glad to hear that. Usually I do music, but you know, today we're gonna do something a little different, uh, because you're doing something impactful and you know, people hear your story as well.

SPEAKER_00 0:17

So uh we gotta get started.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

So check this out, y'all. This is the book AD. Coming from Pusher Independent Radio and Indy Hart today.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

I have with me a special guest.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

Uh joined by certified life coach, public speakers, safe guns, storage activist, and a president of the Life Like Messer Project. A man trying to paint it to purpose.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

I want to introduce my my friend, brother, Fawn Doc. So how are you doing today? Thank you for having me. Hey, no problem. Uh I'm glad you you're you're here on the platform. Pretty much like, you know, we're just gonna talk. Pretty much we, you know, I I have a I have a script, but we we don't stick to it. Uh, you know, we just flow with it and you know just we just cream up, just have like a little cookout, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 1:15

Hey, let's do it. So we're gonna highlight your 15 years of leadership and logistics and dealing with gun violence and your contribution to Senate Bill 161, God's sake education.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

So pretty much how showing up today mentally, spiritually, it was I can answer that question with one word, and that's present.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

Like throughout all that's transpired over the last, and I and I and I ain't even just gonna date back to losing my daughter, I'm gonna date further back than that, 15 to 20 years, bro. I have positioned myself through experience, education, and other leaders around me, mentors around me, who are willing to pour into me, who are willing to take time and be patient with me and allow me the experience to grow and learn. I think right now I can honestly say that I am the most present mentally, emotionally, and spiritually that I've ever been in my life. So uh you've been where you at? How do you how do you what do your your I guess what advice would you give to people that are going through grief? Um that situation, how to deal with it and also how to work through it. You know, grief is a grief is a is a funny beast, right? One thing that I've learned about grief is both through experience and education, is that I I know how to feel. I know how to emote. That ain't the problem. The problem is grief is something you can't control. And uh there's a there's a an old an old pastor who said this one time, and I learned it from my therapist, that as soon as you get your finger on grief and you think you got it calm and controlled and it ain't bothering you, bam, it shows up. And what I've learned as the best advice with grief, and and it's difficult to accept, right, is that there's no way around grief. There's no way underneath it. Suppressing it, don't stop it, covering it, don't remove it. I've learned, and I am now teaching others to learn how to build enough emotional safety and nervous system safety to learn to navigate the emotional waves of grief. Not try to hush them, not try to cover them, not try to talk yourself out of walking through them when they show up, but having the emotional presence, the nervous system safety to be able to show up and say, I'm sad right now and I don't need you to fix nothing.

SPEAKER_00 4:33

Right.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

I I don't want to leave. I just want to be sad in this moment because it's gonna pass and I'm gonna come back to myself. So that and that, I'll be honest with you. That's one of the most difficult things that I teach is a lot of people show up to me and they look at where I am and they they want what I have, but what they don't understand is I don't have a magic pill, I don't have a button, I don't have a template that just cuts it and gets you to where I am. The only way to any place similar to where I am, which grief is incredibly individual, is is through it. And I and I get that because uh a lot of people go through a lot. You know, people think they can help, or they think they understand what you're going through, and sometimes they don't talk about that. So, like, how do you deal with that? Like people want to understand, but you just at that point just want to be left alone. The the biggest thing that I've learned about grief is the biggest support that you can give anyone that's grieving is a present heart and a listening ear.

SPEAKER_00 5:58

Right.

SPEAKER_01 5:59

So your advice may be spot on, but it may be the wrong time because you don't know where I am. Right. Um you you you know, a lot of people, and I say this consistently, you don't have to always know what to say. As a fact, I don't need words a lot of times. Sometimes I just need you to show up and hug me, or just sit there. And hey, it's gonna be all right. Just feel it, like breathe through it. That that's some of the best advice that I could give anyone that's navigating that space where people don't understand it and they want to help you, they have good intentions, but sometimes it just takes the time. Great, great words at the wrong time can actually hurt. Right. And we have to learn that through being better active listeners than showing up hoping that we'll always have the right answers. So let's let's talk about starting off like you break over 15 years of leadership experience, how did that shape you for the man that you are today? Man, you know, it's funny you say that because even after 15 years of leadership, man, I I literally was just checking myself earlier today, like I've learned so much about leadership through experience and being around great leaders. Right. Being willing to ask the questions, being willing to to align myself with mentors, and one thing that I've learned more than anything about leadership, bro, is and this is what I bring to the table now the the wisdom of leadership is not always in your voice. A lot of times it's in your patience, it's in your actions, it's in your ability to have the actively listen and ask questions, but reflect, not so much as always advising and just viewing out this great book of wisdom, like nah, uh things are gonna be doing things, and and that's okay sometimes. It is really about as a leader being that bumper, and how do I nurture and water and plant other leaders through my leadership? I don't want to leave a hero of nobody's story. I want to make heroes out of other people. And I like that. Uh what what would you say with even what you're doing now would be like the pros and cons of you being like a leader? Um so what we all know about in the story, anybody that's learning anything, they'll know these problems. Um leadership removes privacy. Like it's really hard to have privacy with leadership. And I and I I literally just met with one of my midpoint last week, Thursday. And his advice to me at that point in that meeting um, I I hear how busy you are, and my advice to you is to make sure that you put a balance, make sure that your family don't suffer because of how busy you are, and you don't don't overpromise and underdeliver to your first ministry, which is your own. So that bro, to me, again, all of that has taken me into the person now where I speak, but I'm choosing my words more carefully. I'm choosing what and who I engage carefully. I I would say that's the best, the best thing that I deliver right now is now I just don't engage everything every single. Yeah, I mean, yeah, because it's it's tough out here. People want you to be a part of things and and and do a lot. And sometimes even as being a musician and when you're doing like what you're doing as an activist, and sometimes people call you for stuff and you know you you gotta say no. And like, how do you deal with that when it's stuff that you know that is like true to your heart that you did you just have to say like no, I can't do it this time. Bro, I well, I that was the that was the other part of the part of my mentor. I he was like, Man, you're gonna have to get used to saying no, and no. I I and and it's it's unique because I went into that now because there's so much going on, and it's good, right? Like there are people doing great work out of the community now, and I would love to be in bonds if I'm busy. I just can't, I just can't, and even business and I'm learning that I'm learning that it's not my signature, and I'm not letting my investment put me in a position to be side of my person just because I want to be there, so you know, and I'm a believer, so my faith, my faith is really again my foundation, stewarding whether I engage things or not, and again, no more normal feelings, I'm there, I I promote, I promote, I just can't be in position everywhere all, but I'm okay with it. But I'm okay, and the concept come with that is sometimes people get mad at me, sometimes people they feel social shade, and it's like again, I've learned I'm not engaged in everything, man. It's okay, it's okay. You know, um, my world is okay, my attentions are well. I communicate greatly, so if we can't communicate like a good other thing and understand that life happens and people are really busy and everybody can't be gonna be weird, it is what it is, man. I'm gonna pray for you and keep it out. I I like that because you know, you you do a lot, um, and people see like, hey, you're doing it, and they're like, it's moving good, but like, you know, because I guess what uh I say what a heart is. And sometimes you're a humble person, you you you do what you gotta do. Sometimes person like, hey, how's he get how's he getting all that stuff, but I can't get it done? Oh and it's and it's a good thing that you you you still stay grounded because you know a lot of people give up and throw in the towel.

SPEAKER_00 13:06

So what keeps your strength going to just keep doing the things that you're doing?

SPEAKER_01 13:12

Um my my why. My why, my why I read that more than I've ever read some life. Uh I recently posted a video of me sitting under my shaving tree in my backyard, no music, no nothing, and just sitting there relaxing, relaxing, taking that nature, but oh you're gonna jump some of the lap. I'm just sitting there and I post it, and people are so used to keeping me busy, right? Right, people start to count on what you doing, like question mark, but I'm like, and I'm like, I get that you used to be talking and used to be pulling it, moving. So I'm in a stage where I feel respect, but I rest in my stillness more than I ever have. And inside of that rest and stillness, I'm able to gain credit. I'm able to speak where I am, where things are, and I'm able to allow these inside of that idol. So that honestly made that stillness and that piece is really allowed me to stay grounded, grounded in my faith, my faith, in my family, and in my whatever work. So uh I know that.

SPEAKER_00 14:33

Are you know we were still talking uh a long abolicer where you are you still doing uh drawing and and all that that you was doing, or you or have you like stepped back from that? What was that again about the colour? About your drawing, like uh drawing and all that stuff that you were doing. Yes, are you still doing it or have you like stepped back from that for a while?

SPEAKER_01 14:54

So I I don't do as much as I do as I do, but I still I still do, I still do pay. Me and my daughter was doing something the other day, but uh yeah, I actually just didn't two special pieces for someone I can. I wanted to wait until they got them so I didn't spoil them because they didn't gifts for other people, so people said yeah, man. I still paint and I even started getting doing those too, man. Okay, all right, all right. So we so glad to know that. So we got we got okay, since you do smoke work, so uh yeah, let's put that on. You got you got anything that you would like to share, or you or you just got stuff in the work? Um man, what I got, what I got, what I got. You can make me dig my tooth out of the black box. Let's see what I got. All right. I got a cut, not a crack a little. Ooh, these are these indeed. I had a point on last uh last week. She she uh shot out to uh Packy uh probably for she toin us, so we we we do it all here. Okay, I I yeah, I got I got one I got one of the right quick it's called it's titled titled pain pain defined pain defined in the velvet of midnight where pain claws deep, unyielding and wrong, wrong, a heart identity for heaven's sake's sake, yet in the stone, a fragile light we draw, all wounds that bleed with memories untold, stars, stars, let's river on a weary so time, the gentle heel turns to gold, to gold what once was shattered was shattered, making fragments whole, feel the fire, fire, let it burn, burn, for in its ashes embers softly glow. It glowed a promised whisper on a turning top, rise from the dead from the death, let resilience flow, though shadows linger, heavy as regret. Set captive spirit free, free, embrace the dawn with eyes no longer wet for pain, my love is not eternity as pain to find pain to find the inspiration for the point. Um I wrote that one way to back one third of the moonlight I was hurt, I was hurt. Grief was cracking me hard. Everybody was asleep, and uh I didn't want to stick with that emotion and want to express it, and poetry is one of my help of way to express. So I don't like me. I was gonna predict I'm gonna document and I just thought it wrapped up around it, and and and as you hear in there, I'm talking about about different viewpoints. Because of the unpredictability, and how it relates to brief questions, so it goes it was a primitive depression for me, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:28

So I like to ask, because with the energy and stuff, is there anything off blendless, anything that like that you uncomfortable talking to, talking about, or you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 19:43

Uh before we go into it, or not, not really not a little certain details inside of the case, but but overall, I'm being all right, cool. So I know when we met, I know you about your the situation you've been through, and you know, we we cope with, you know, like you said, grief and all that. Just going through what you went through with that situation, how did it make you a stronger person? Or what type of coping mechanism did you did you go through at that time? And like what would you give to advice to families out here that have been through what you what you've been through? Man, man, um I'll be honest with you. My faith, my faith is what I lay with all that on. Like, like, you know, I a lot of people, a lot of people hate it. Yeah, but yeah. I forgive. I forget it. And I still stand on it. Inside of that, I was literally talking to God, like God, hey, you gonna get a school. Like, like the other way, other way that my flesh must forget on this. I know it ain't the right thing.

SPEAKER_00 21:19

Right.

SPEAKER_01 21:20

So so leaning on my family, my priority, business, business. So I I look at that. I got a family, I got a like like I knew I knew I could by myself. I knew this is bigger than me. A family got a few guys. My other daughter got a daughter, yeah. And we we all love it so that's the floor. That that's the one of us saying it's fine. I've lost the child.

unknown 21:58

With

SPEAKER_01 22:03

There are good parties who can support you. And there are kinds of points where even support and feel like it can feel abrasive. It can feel abrasive. Like and don't need to twist it. We gotta be real. We gotta be real. There are people who only want to come behind your best and don't have your best influence at bar. Let's be real. Let's be real. I ain't no skimmico. I'm not stimulating. But what I will say is because you were hiring the most kind in their time. Don't allow that. Allow that to keep you from the good people who do want to support you because you're gonna need that connection. I needed other men that I could call and break down crying on the phone with because my anger had got to a point where I wanted an unhealthy coping mechanism. You know, I I needed other men that I could I could invite over to the house to just sit with me around the fire pit, like, hey man, I gotta leave this family. And I I don't know how to do that in this moment because I've never dealt with nothing like this. Like again, therapy, like connection and community support. Um one of the biggest ones, bro, is so within my house, my my youngest daughter and my wife went through this with me, literally. So we learned how to support each other and be there for each other, knowing that this process for each one of us would look different. So my wife's grief and my daughter's grief look totally different than mine. And what I learned through therapies and education, a lot of families don't survive losing children, especially the way we did. So for me, I heard that and I took that as a goal. I put that as a goal to prioritize learning how to support each other without criticizing that our grief look different, without trying to jam our grief into what the other one looked like. And I'd even go this far. There was one point my wife wasn't going to therapy, and I was thustering at her, like, hey, you need to go to therapy. Like, I know you're dealing with this, and I know you're dealing with it in your way, but you ain't with no therapist, and this is and my therapist was like, hey, she knows that someone's available for her. You just be there to support her and allow her to come to that. And bro, it took everything in me to be like not wanting to push her towards it, even though I know it would help her, because her process is different than mine. So it it helped me to learn how to support her in a different way, and how to love her in her grief, right where she was at. So I it and bro, I went through losing my job and everything, and and and bro, one of the biggest blessings that I that ever happened to me was was losing that job because it put me in a position to be there for my wife and my daughter and in the community in ways that I never could have done if I was still at that job. So, yes, the financials is different, but the fulfillment is better. The the fulfilling of purpose right where we are is so much better, bro. And I never would have saw that in the first month or week. And bro, the day I lost my job, I came home and I told my wife, hey, come back here to the backyard. I'm sitting under the straight tree. And she knew something was wrong. And I was like, Lord, we already going through mess, and I gotta tell this woman I lost my job. And I just knew I was about to hear. You ain't gonna say nothing else. Like, she was like, nah. Yeah, I mean, she must have been. I mean, at that point, and again, it it just showed me a level of her love and how God intended what could have been something to separate us, to create intimacy for us in this time, in these moments. So, man, my advice again look into therapy, man. You need it, trust me, no matter how you feel and how independent you think you are, find the right one or look find the ones. If you're in home with family, learn how to support each other and know that your grief can look different. It's okay that it looks different. I I always tell people this grief is incredibly individual, it's incredibly personal. But there are unhealthy coping mechanisms with grief. And that's where we have to understand that hey, snapping on everyone and and and cutting at people who are trying to help you, that's unhealthy. Like taking on substances to coat it and cover it. I I made a post the other day, hey, that wine ain't gonna drown out that what's in your soul. Like it'll make your flesh feel better for the moment, but your soul still gonna hurt. So there are unhealthy coping mechanisms that when people address us on, and my thing is prayerfully, they address us in love, we can be able to see that, hey, they're not saying that my grief ain't my grief. They're just saying that the way that I'm born about it, expressing it or not expressing it, is unhealthy. And I need to reevaluate that. So I my thing is be open to different ways to grieve in healthy ways. Not just because you can do it and because you want to say it's personal. Yeah, but it's personally unhealthy for you and it's personally unhealthy for everyone connected to you. And most people that are relatively close in your home, close family, close friends, they suffer the most when people don't process their grief in healthy ways. And uh, I think that's one thing. Like, I'm I'm glad when I met you because like I I I you know, I never lost a child. But, you know, losing somebody, losing somebody that, you know, is a friend, just going through and I had those moments where I was just like, people didn't understand. I I was like you said, like saying coping. Like I didn't want, you know, I thought people didn't understand, so it's like if people said the wrong thing, I'm going off on them, and and you know, it if if you know one moment I'm in, next minute I'm crying, next minute I'm like confused, like, you know, then I'm here to see the the the progress, and it's like, you know, sometimes it's you feel like it ain't thing, then you deal with the like you say, you deal with it all.

SPEAKER_00 29:58

Like, you know, you deal with the what if I could have done something different? Uh then it's you look sometimes, pretty much anything you could have done, but you always had it like, could I have been there or could I have did something different?

SPEAKER_01 30:14

And so like a lot of people don't understand, and a lot of people like, you know, tell you, oh, it's gonna be okay. And sometimes when people say that, like people don't really understand like what you really go into.

SPEAKER_00 30:26

Like, I know like with with you guys, you know, the sleepless nights, the just the waking up, I don't know what minute the man what minute man could be.

SPEAKER_01 30:36

Next minute is like, you know, but when you I think like when you get around people that understand, because I think probably like the same with me as you, like I had friends, but I live I knew they had their own issues. So I think I didn't want to bring my issues on them. So I said I just dealt, they kind of got mad at me with like, you could have called other cards. And I was like, uh, they got your own stuff to go on. I don't I don't want to be talking about, you know, this and and that, and because you know, you'll never know if people like, you know, even though brand stuff, like, I don't want to hear this or, you know, whatever. So dealt with that as well, where you know, you felt like talking about your greed to people, did you felt like just like just dealing with it on your own? Or when did you get to a point that you just wanted to let people in to be your support system? Yeah, man, I I I doubt it. In fact, I just spoke at Compassionate Friends Local Chapter Greek Support Group, and that was one of the things I told them. Um, like it was a part where, and and I speak about it in my sympathy's case if it's possible, where me and my wife felt like we were losing friends, and we felt like we weren't getting invited in spaces because you know we come in with our daughter on our daughter, and there gonna be moments where things trigger us, and we felt like we would bring the room down. So we didn't want to be that on the we was like we'd just stay going. I ain't called. I ain't calling. Like, like, we just gonna stay right here. And it wasn't until months into that that I realized, uh-oh. All right, we isolated. Like, yeah, some people did make us feel like we were burdened when we came in the room, but a lot of the others, oh that was never what they said. Our feelings, because we were highly emotional, we assumed that. So that's one of the one of the the the negatives in grief is that you feel like you're burdened. But what I learned, and and I tell people humans are supposed to be compassionate, and your compassion don't think that you're taking on my butt you can be present, you can be present and and make me feel like you hear me and you see me without saying, Oh well, man, we're gonna have to shut everything down because everybody crying and sad. Like, nah, we don't even want that, we don't want that, we don't want that. We just want to be in the room and everybody not staring at us and staring and walk up to us talking about that and love that. We invite that, you see what I'm saying? Like, you know what I'm saying, like so yeah, we've dealt with that. You dealt with that in their capability. Again, I felt like we were isolated now, oh we gotta we gotta start going out. We gotta start reaching out, we gotta start getting back into some of these faces. Like, yeah, it's gonna be difficult, but we aren't the first people to use it. There are other people functioning in society that like you, and I said they're gonna say that made us feel like we were in the low in a row, and it empowered us just like the less cycle. So we've already also talked about because I know doing us doing everything, you've done some big things out in North Carolina. So we want to talk about your your your leg your legislation work and making real change where things can hopefully get better and and other people have experienced the same thing that you did. So SB 151 um we are actually still working on it. Um I got with a couple of senators and senators and um some local um uh commissioners and some some people in keeping out judgments, uh and we started discussing hey the the problem from a data perspective and uh we involved um um law enforcement, we involved community advocates, um big shout out to uh Demetrian Murke, been my right hand, been really a mentor in this stuff for me, but in doing that, what we formulated was at the time a bill that we felt like could help uh create more awareness to the uh safe ground storage issue, and also at the same time being a accountability message that comes with that so that it don't just keep happening and people feel like oh well right now these are children, right? And it ain't just our children, it's happening so consistent that that children are uh being unalia due to unsafe liar on so much that he's got nothing unaligned in North Carolina the number one reason children are being used a lot is usually fire. I mean, I mean, so when we looked at it like that, like that, we we we stroke with other organizations in this area who had experience in this area of every town for guns, moms demand action uh North Kelly goes against gun violence, um like like there were so many other people at play when it comes to this bill, you know. I I I think people when they they see it and they hear it, they're like, oh man, they come to me. I'm like, hey, hey, we didn't do this for long eat. We are not there wrapped up and reacting this fight long enough to do this for our still art. And as you continue to forward due to some of the support that we did get, we did end up getting uh uh the losses end of the pillows with the pillars we didn't end up getting to. So the goal is to come back to it, come back to the table, restrategize our pro and then again continue to make another foot until we get this in and hopefully hopefully protect more of our children from from being a little live and uh change that we don't want that to be another little reason that we're still gonna be not a lot of in North Carolina, and there's things that we can do. So so is that just for like is that just the builders for North Carolina along, or is that for us nationwide? So that's just North Carolina.

SPEAKER_00 38:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 38:18

I now I now I have structured here of other other advocate legislators in firearm safety around the country of the country, and they are doing some great work like uh and uh we are planning on back with them. I've had a few meetings recently for Tis Level about how they're doing how they're getting forward. They've gotten it passed in over seven or eight, seven eight. So, so hey, hey, I'm trying to learn to learn whatever they're doing is working working. We're trying to get to the at least for North Carolina, and then we want to come to see we believe this is a bigger fight, which is gonna be a lot of life. Because that statistic I just told you about FIBA, that's actually in the next two next two. That's all we hold for that.

unknown 39:09

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:10

That's the issue, okay. I couldn't deserve the desire to fight. Right, I agree. Because just I think kind of hit me was like just the fact of, you know, I can, you know, people with kids that still hear sometimes we as parents take it for granted where that is like, hey, okay, we just expect them to be here. But just thinking about okay, because a lot of people don't do the situation of, it could be me. It's like, okay, well, that's their problem. But like I think you have to look at it as you know, we could walk out here in the street today and something happened to us. Kids going to school, you don't know if it if the kid coming to school because he mad at one kid, and then he takes it out on kids, teachers because of that one situation. And, you know, we you know, it's over that we didn't know the the kid needed help. Yeah, the kid probably was crying out for help, but nobody never said anything. But it's like these laws gotta I feel like we do more a lot of nonsense out here, instead of doing stuff that help people. Like it's other stuff, you know, that like kids and people should feel like they can walk around here, not worry about, oh, if I'm gonna be the if I'm gonna be the one because something, one person he made that they manage somebody, so they they take it up by that one. That one everybody. But, you know, it's it's it's kind of things should be, but it's not, but like I buy people like you, Demetria, Samantha, and her family, that you guys have haven't like gave up. And I know that, you know, hearing no's and and wanting answers and not getting answers that you want is it's tough, but for y'all just like y'all still keep going, still trying to get answers, still trying to get things fast.

SPEAKER_00 41:14

Like, like, you know, I mind all y'all for what y'all doing down there. And I like even with us sitting here having this conversation, it's different, but it needs to be heard as well.

SPEAKER_01 41:26

Because there's a lot of people, there's a lot of people don't agree. I I pretty much play it too, and I was just like, you know, I don't I don't really like them. But see that how the world is changing and people just beeping out of here. It's like you can't can't take stuff for granted. So I like I look at it, even like meeting y'all.

SPEAKER_00 41:50

Like I I had to go back home and just be like, like take my child for, you know, because I, you know, we think, okay, they're gonna be here. But then I I was thinking, I'm like, how would I feel if I got that call?

SPEAKER_01 42:01

Yeah. And so it's like, people just gotta realize that it could be easy. Yeah, don't look at it as like, you know, there's not stuff you could do regardless being here or not, because there's a lot that you know could be can be done. You just gotta like come together, just get sick and tired of and want and want to check in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't tell you, I could. Unfortunately, that that is that can just be like anything. I know, I know, right? I can I can call, I can tell the parents, and I can get and I can give every one of these 20 parents and I call it they didn't know these time. Now, now I but only speak to me and my wife, my way, but my child 100% innocent. It wasn't her that how that is, which goes to the point of we need to be safe because we don't know what we don't know. Part of that claim that is as these young people are trying out with hell out of the five jugs, even hey, hey, yes, locked up, blah blah blah, but also address you and a gold pride. Right? Like when we see these because these the pattern is addressing us, we need to address these and and not wait until after saying, Oh, you know, they didn't have records so we didn't get nothing. Right, but yeah, so everybody they hard the long way just oh well, just oh well. I'm sick of seeing that. We connect, we and support new family families now. The law the law doesn't have any type of real type of ability when it comes to young people, even if so and it's like wrong with again again my child, my child. She on the new church on the dick hat her or problems and it was never heard. They were trained, trained. Hey, hey, a big name is out. You didn't clap, you don't clap. And again, we didn't think we didn't think that cloud was that cloud.

SPEAKER_00 44:54

Until until before that day when I had that mind stronger.

SPEAKER_01 45:02

So what what is what is the misunderstanding with people? I guess about gun gun safety, gun safe gun stores. The main the main thinking that children aren't gonna be children. Children have a natural curiosity. They're gonna go looking for stuff and stuff, even when you never knock you. And they're gonna find it. The problem is when when when when dangerous things in the exception. So as the adult, what we don't need to do is to keep telling people, telling people, don't be cute. Yes, we need to tell them, hey, you get around something like this, you don't need to be, you don't need to mess with it, you need to go get an adult. But what we don't want to do is cut away their curiosity, their natural childlike curiosity. What we need to do is to make sure things that are dangerous and harmful to children that they should not be having access to, they don't have access to it. And putting it in a drawer or under a bed or in a closet, that's not safe storage. It's not safe storage. Well, it takes 30 to 45 seconds to put a to put a firearm lock on. It can take less than that to put it inside of a safe work. So at the end of the day, what I'm finding, and we've traveled the state having this conversation. Um, I've done numerous documentaries on this conversation. Unfortunately, a lot of parents, and this has been consistent across the state, a lot of parents are saying, oh, my child wouldn't do that. And what we're saying is, don't take that chance. Please don't take that chance. Don't take that chance because it might not be your child that gets the blood of that. Right. Your child might accidentally or intentionally harm someone else's child. And now that family has to all behind. I didn't think they would. No, you didn't think. Now we don't get to see her never again because you didn't think. Right. That ain't. If the problem was not preventable, bro, I would have shut up after it happened and sat down. Yep. But data has proved it. Juvenile justice has proved it, law enforcement has proved it, the courts had even proved it, whether they know it or not, that this issue, this number one issue in North Carolina and the United States, it is preventable. And we need to be more proactive about making sure that our children are able to live their entire lives. Right. I agree. So how can the community like participate or a view like with the calls? Um I always tell people, hey, share, share these resources that we're putting out there. Show up to these events. There's gonna be information and resources that a lot of people don't understand or be there, and that the community will have access to. Education about safe storage. We give away gun locks. Almost every event we go to, just about either we are or someone is giving away gun locks. And and don't just come to our events. We support a number of other people who do wonderful community work around safe storage and gun violence awareness. Heel the Beel, Drums Up Guns Down, North Carolina's Against Gun Violence, Every Town for Gun Safety, Moms Demand Action. There are numerous, and I mean group theory. I could keep going. There are numerous groups who are actually doing phenomenal work with resources. So we're not just standing up there talking so we can be heard and be seen. Like at these events, there are resources for families to come out and get information, stuff for kids, mental health, mirrors maximum. That's a great organization. Again, the consistency where they're showing up. I tell people, hey, if you can't come, hit the share button. It don't cost you a dime to hit the share button. We love for you to be able to support what we're doing. Buy some drumsticks or buy some gun lights or hand out some flyers or show up to help us set up or tear down. But if the least thing you can do is hit the share button, hey, you supported us today. That is numerous ways that the community can really help push what we do and furthermore empower prevention and safety for our children, statewide and United States wide. So we're gonna focus on readership and the healing about the genesis part. Like, what is your mission behind it? How are you helping build resilience today? So our mission is safe firearms, of course. Like awareness, prevention, education, even training. We partner alongside of so many other organizations because what I found is there are a lot of other organizations in this avenue, and what I don't want to do is as an organization get us hyped up to believe we're the only ones that's doing this and that everybody should just come support us. Like, I don't believe that. I believe that there are a numerous amount of people in the gun violence awareness area, safe storage area, and that as we compile and connect, our reach goes further, our impact gets higher, and our influence flows better when they see us working together. So then also we get to pool resources and finances and connections when we come out of these silos, as we say. But for us, it's it's the education, man. We we're handing out information to parents, we're having conversations with parents, we're giving them gun lots, we're showing them websites where they can look at the different types of safes. We're talking to, we're talking them through how to put on that gun lock. Uh we're talking, we're sending them to resources like NC State, where they can go up there and get information for their kids and see videos on how to do something. So as an organization, one thing that I I also seen in this space, man, I I want to stay in our lane. Right. I ain't trying to come in here and do a little bit of everything. We don't need to do that. There's a lot of people doing a lot, and I don't need to do what Mears Maximus is doing. They do a great job of what they're doing. I want to support what they're doing and partner with them, but I don't want to do what they're doing. Right. So our lane is safe fired on storage. That is the lane that we stayed in. And that is my freaking tip too. All right, so we're gonna talk about you being a certified life coach. And as a certified life coach, how do you guys how do you shift people's mindset? Because I know that even as you go through, is it an easy space to try to help people when you're still dealing with things that you or is it like a therapy for you as well? Like for me, I I'm a people at heart. So me already loving people and loving to help others, serve others, it really helped to be able to have the education of life coaching and to have the modalities that I have to be able to help people shift and build strategy because that's what I do as a life coach. I I give people testimony, hey, this is possible. Like, you ain't the only one, and you know, life can make you feel like you're the only one going through this, and it and it's it's happening the worst way, like like just to you, but that's that's that's life's way of cornering you in. And my job is to show you through reflection, information, and practice that that's not true. That's not true. You can come out from where you are, you are stronger than you think, and we're not gonna just get this moment because we want to get to better. We're gonna use this moment to process our way to better. So if this moment shows that up here, that upper, it won't take us out of what we need to be in. We'll be able to navigate it with peace, with power, and with purpose. And that comes with intention and process and and and and dedication. All right, all right, okay.

SPEAKER_00 55:13

So with with you doing all that, or um, do you you just many, are you working with just men, women, or or like anybody like come to talk to you?

SPEAKER_01 55:27

So I am actually I I've met with her, I know he's gonna see this imagery and he's gonna get me. Because uh I'm supposed to be getting my website up, man, and he gave me the clues, and I I just ain't I ain't I ain't pushed nothing back there yet. Ain't no excuse around it. But but uh I plan on working with everyone.

unknown 55:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 55:50

I I I work with two people too quickly. Uh in women, I do it safely, respectfully, and within parameters, but I I usually refer a lot of people to my white, but uh I I do I do work with everyone. All right. So as we as we about to close close out in a little in a minute, how can how can people you know find you? How can people, you know, guess like if you give some like major important links that they can like like either come through, share, support in any way they can with you guys? So you can find me on about all social apps under my name. Okay. Right now, that's where I am. All social approaches, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, uh, Twitter, all those platforms under my name, Fun Doctor. And I'm very active on all of them. So if somebody still that's it, you know, drop something in there, I'm I'm good about responding. All right. So what I'm going at now, I do have one question. So this is my little fun fact. You know, change the little change change everything. How did you become an Eagle fan? Oh, good day.

SPEAKER_00 57:10

Hey, I'm an Eagle fan, so I'm I'm I'm on I'm on the down in North Carolina, so how how how that how that happened?

SPEAKER_01 57:17

So, man. I'm trying to think about my my my Eagle startup jacket that had, okay. Yo, um, I was early when I was like early middle school, early 90s. I was a package fan because I got a rip. Okay. I thought you about to say Dallas. How about a package? Nah, then what I had. And then then I got older and I was like, nah, Randall. And I've I've actually crying out and I started. I I never been. I just I just was told, and I was like, you know what?

SPEAKER_00 58:08

You know what?

SPEAKER_01 58:09

Randall Cunningham hit the scene. Now I was like, This dude. Reggie White. I was supposed to all my papers giving in away. The shoes and all of it. I gotta get out of the hey, it's been feeling since 96, man. You good, that's why you're good, people. That's why, that's why I like it. You know what I'm saying? Hopefully we can we can we can get back to where our glory days this year. Yeah, man. Yeah, yeah. Hey man, I appreciate you. Also, uh, do you have any upcoming events down there in North Carolina or just mainly just doing your doing your thing? Um it's funny you said that because I was actually thinking about different about um our planning phase for a couple of events up here with the people. We we partner so much, but again, I'm on the stain out of the kitchen. Right. I have uh uh my church is doing a another little men's breakfast what Saturday morning, and I'm doing a men's healing circle fire pit suspect this Saturday night. Like that fire pit suspect is something that was burnt from my grief, also. Um and I I love what what God is doing in that fire pit with these men's like I'm still working on to a virtual fan too. So I I I I was saying, bro. That's a really thing to me. And I and I believe next is very possible immediately. All right, no. When you when you do something, let me know because uh you're part of that, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, man. So in in Fairfield, the 18th, this coming Saturday is crazy busy. Like, I know we live doing something between that period of like one to what four or five. And then my fire pit is at 5 p.m. Yeah. So I'll be busy Saturday, man. I gotta go to sleep like like six on Friday. I'm gonna be going on all day long. We're getting older, man. Yeah, man. Hey, gotta get in the bed, but these old bones don't recover like they don't. Yeah, yeah. They they they really don't last you. Like 20s, you can you can stay up all night, but when you get to like them 40s and you like damn, hey damn. It's like time to go faster or something. I don't know, man. But you're doing your thing. Like I'm like I said, I'm always here to support anything y'all need. I'm here for y'all. The goal is unclearly. What I would like to do is like pretty much get all y'all again so we can, you know, pretty much everybody needs to, everybody needs to hear these these family stories because it's people here. It's just it's not just a North Carolina issue or deep south. It's it's the East Coast, West Coast, Midwest. People going through a lot. For people to hear y'all, y'all's strength that y'all have. Because even too old, it's y'all, y'all, y'all still have strength story that you know everybody needs to hear.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:43

So I mean not problem.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:46

With your help, I'd like to try to get you you all on another call. So that y'all y'all can just we can just do it, you know, and we we all just get y'all just out.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:59

We do it like that, because this is just not I had to realize not music. I had to realize what the platform for and now that it's just not just too from artists, but it's it's it's pretty much you know, coming, you know, people that's going to want you stuff and give people a courage.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:28

Might be trouble, you might you might cry, you know, and all that, but you can you can still make it through. And it can be an offcomer. So uh I I respect I respect y'all.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:39

I come on you with our head, and you know I am.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:47

So hey, I appreciate you, bro. I appreciate you too, man. So this is your boy, hangle with my man Fa. You know, this has been a a powerful interview. We don't just do music, we dope artists, dope individual, and we share type of everything. So your boy A D, your boy Fa, one love, and we up with the whole board.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:15

Take care of it. All right, all right, all right.