Episode 34: The One Where We Try to Romanticize Our Lives

How do you stop just getting through the day and start actually enjoying your life again?

In this episode of Unfiltered-ish, Natali, Carina, and Nicki talk about joy rituals, romanticizing your life, morning routines, meditation, burnout, and the small habits that make everyday life feel meaningful again.

What starts as a conversation about french fries, dirty martinis, Korean dramas, and fancy pajamas turns into a deeper discussion about happiness, emotional restoration, and why so many women feel like they’re just surviving their routines instead of fully living them.

They explore:

•  Romanticizing your life in midlife 
•  Joy rituals and daily routines 
•  Morning habits that improve mood and energy 
•  Meditation, manifestation, and visualization 
•  Burnout and emotional exhaustion 
•  Friendship and emotional connection 
•  Oura Rings, stress tracking, and nervous system awareness 
•  Why travel changes your mindset 
•  Learning how to slow down and enjoy life again 

Nicki shares her new “11-minute joy meditation” practice inspired by manifestation and visualization techniques, while Natali talks about dancing to “Ring My Bell” while making coffee every morning and trying to create more beauty and joy in everyday life.

The conversation also moves into:

•  fancy sleep routines 
•  meaningful travel 
•  solo retreats and personal reset weekends 
•  dream vacations 
•  relationship rituals 
•  work stress and emotional recovery 

Along the way, they reflect on what actually creates happiness — and realize that most joy ultimately comes from people, meaningful experiences, and feeling connected to your life again.

If you’ve been feeling emotionally numb, overwhelmed, burned out, or disconnected from joy lately, this episode will feel comforting, funny, and deeply relatable.

Unfiltered-ish is a women’s podcast about friendship, personal growth, burnout, relationships, midlife, joy, and the conversations we don’t always say out loud.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hi, I'm Natalie, and French fries make me happy.

SPEAKER_03 0:05

Hi, I'm Karina, and Chinese and Korean dramas make me happy.

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Um, hi, I'm Nikki, and let's see, so many things make me happy. Hashtag blast. Uh no, but really the first thing that came to mind was um a dry, lightly dirty martini with blue cheese stuffed olives makes me happy. That's very specific. It is very specific. But here's the thing when you're can which you obviously would not know, but when someone is is putting together a cocktail for you, when there's a certain like a Manhattan has a just a certain exact, I mean, you can get it a little bit sweeter or a little bit, but when it comes to a martini, there is a whole spectrum of ways that you can have it. Maybe you want more vermouth, very few people do. Maybe you want little to no vermouth. Do you want it to be a gin ver martini? Do you want it to be a vodka martini? Do you want it to be dirty means that there's more olive juice, uh, there's olive juice in it. Uh extra dirty means lots of olive juice. Lightly dirty means just a touch of olive juice. And then of course I like mine filthy.

SPEAKER_01 1:09

You do like filthy. I like that. I want the vermouth swirled in the glass and spit out. I want it with gin. I want it filthy. And yeah, blue cheese olive is like preferably three of them. Um, is just to die for. Maybe that's what I'll have for dinner tonight.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

And front fries with a cider fries. I think that's amazing. We did I was with you for a month and we somehow didn't end up going to any of the places that were like grown-up happy meal.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

Yeah, girls have happy meal. Well, you have to come back.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

Okay, I'll be there in four days. I probably should go home for Mother's Day to my mom. She's expecting me. I just swing by Phoenix on the way. Because it's not out of the way at all. I at this point, I I mean, so well, I drove my the original plan was to be in Phoenix to Salt Lake up to Bear Lake and then take Bear Lake over to Germantown, Wisconsin. Too much information, don't stalk me. Um I mean, not that town that I just noticed. Um the uh but then being that Bear Lake was too much for me. And I being back down in Salt Lake, now it's it's it is just all over the place. I don't even know. I don't even know. And part of me is like, well, I'm out here. Should I add an extra leg on and go up to Montana for a night? I don't know why, but I don't know.

unknown 2:33

I don't know. I don't know where I live.

SPEAKER_03 2:35

You guys can't see me. I'm just shaking my head no, like no to Montana.

SPEAKER_01 2:41

Why there why did it pop into your mind though? There might be something there, like a dude ranch.

SPEAKER_00 2:46

I mean, a dude, a ranch full of dudes? That's what I need. I need a ranch full of dudes, or you just go and you pick out the one you want. The age, the weight, the size. Oh, gee. I wish I was back in the army. Oh, see, you got it.

SPEAKER_03 3:02

I know that a little white Christmas.

SPEAKER_00 3:06

Um anyway. A little Bing Crosby, a little bit of a little Deb Clooney digression.

SPEAKER_03 3:13

Um, okay, so today we're gonna talk about rituals. It's not Deb. Deb Clooney.

SPEAKER_00 3:19

It's it's not Deborah Clooney. No, but it's not Deborah Clooney. No, and now I can't think of what it is, but it's definitely not Deborah Clooney. It's Vera Allen, Bing Crosby, and it's not Deborah. Oh, it is. Okay, hold on. It is Rosemary, Rosemary Clooney. Oh, you're right, Deborah Carr. Deborah Carr, Rosemary Clooney. Rosemary Clooney. Yes. Deborah Clooney, right.

SPEAKER_03 3:48

Dang it.

SPEAKER_00 3:48

You did. You did.

SPEAKER_02 3:53

Darn it.

SPEAKER_00 3:54

And that's the podcast. Thank you for listening. Thanks. Like and subscribe. Where we list out actors and actresses that we can only remember part of their names. And then we look it up. Again, our audience loves us. Um I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 4:20

How do we get them the topic of uh we were talking today about joy rituals, rituals that bring us joy, and it is sparked by Nikki's newly formed habit.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

Yes, my joy meditation. I can't remember we talked about this in the podcast at all, but um uh a friend of Natalie's who I would say you know is a new friend of mine or at least a new acquaintance, um, does uh something every morning, effectively uh a meditation. And then she was talking about how all she's had all these like crazy manifestations, kind of like stuff that in the right place at the right time, like I was like, okay, well, maybe I should give this, maybe I should give this a try. Um, but her whole thing is that she she's like, I spend some time and I think about something in my life or my past that has brought me joy. And then as I I keep that joyful emotion, and then I think about things that I want to call in. And I'm like, you know, I can't do that. And it's you know, it's not the first time I'd heard that, obviously, you know, like, oh, visualize, meditate, blah, blah, blah, blah. But uh, I think partially because she was like, when she was describing of this business trip she went on where she kept being like seated next to the exact people that she knew anyway. Um and um, but I kind of thought, you know what? I I can spend, I can commit to spending 11 minutes. I don't know why I decided 11 minutes, but 11 minutes every morning getting myself into a feeling of of I don't know that I get to joy. I think I get to happiness, you know, and then I can carry the hat. I don't know if I've get to quite get to joy. First thing in the morning is a little hard to get to joy. Um, but I will say it's been very good. First of all, it's just been a very pleasant experience. Very easy to skip though, right? It'd be so easy to get out of bed and be like, oh, just do it later. It has to be first thing in the morning for me. And there have been some times when I have to get up so then I I make sure I'm getting up early enough. Like when we were in Phoenix and we had to take uh Karina to the airport. Um, I not had to, but we wanted to take Karina to the airport. In fact, I think Karina tried to insist that we not take you, but we wanted to take you. Um, but I knew I wanted to get my joy meditation in first, so I got up a little extra early. But I just I sit up in bed, I set my timer for 11 minutes, and then I just do it. And there have been actually even a couple of times this week that I've kind of woken up, and you know how you wake up and you're kind of like, oh, I guess it's another day. Doing the joy meditation turned like gets me into a better state of like, okay, all right, let's get into this place where previously it would have been so much easier to just go, okay, we need to talk about this one second though, because when you were saying that, Nikki, I was like, that doesn't happen to me.

SPEAKER_03 6:58

I never wake up in a funk. No, like that, I don't no, that doesn't happen to me.

SPEAKER_00 7:06

You never you never wake up with kind of like what is your what that's fascinating. What what what is your emotion as you wake up?

SPEAKER_03 7:15

Uh well the previous episode we talked about dreams and stuff, and usually if I figured something out, I wake up and I'm like, oh, let's go get it done.

SPEAKER_00 7:24

That's okay, that is so you. That is that you your eyes go but and then you just hop out of bed and go do something.

SPEAKER_03 7:32

Well, and that's why I have built my entire beauty routine, if you want to call it that, to be 15 minutes. So I get ready in about 15 minutes. Usually my hair is already done. Like it if there's a day I have to curl my hair that takes longer, right? But like, you know, I'm only doing my hair every four days or whatever. So that's part of the reason I get my lashes done so I don't have to do mascara. And I literally powder lipstick, throw clothes on, go. It's because I'm like ready. Like, and you know, right now I also take Charlie to school. So I run downstairs, I get his lunch ready. He's like usually I make him some breakfast, we might eat it in the car, we listen to an Audible book. Like right now, we're doing, we just finished Fable Haven, so now we're doing Dragon Watch. And then I'm super excited to like eight o'clock. I'm walking into the backyard, which by the way, the reason I know it's eight o'clock is because I accidentally set our sprinklers to that time as well. So I get sprinkled on every single day. So I'm like, Josh, we got to change that because it's annoying to get sprinkled on at eight o'clock every morning when I walk to the dodging, dodging the the Oh yeah. No, Thunder, Thunder just runs right through it. The dog just runs through it. He's like totally wet by the time. Anyway, so then I come and I just sit down. And since I do my whole week planning and my digital planning way in advance, usually by that Sunday, I can I have the page already open to what I'm starting to, and I just immediately dive into the thing I'm gonna do. I never feel dread for the day. There, I just don't. I'm usually like, okay, this is what we're doing today.

SPEAKER_00 9:14

But and and like, and not even always dread, but sometimes it's just like, oh no. Uh-uh. Fascinating to me.

SPEAKER_01 9:23

Natalie? I think I'm trying to think. When I wake up in the morning, my first inclination is I cannot wait to have a cup of coffee. I'm so excited for my cup of coffee. Like, I just like I love it. I want the warmth, I want the smell, I want the taste. So like I am just like a beeline to the coffee pot. Um, and I make my coffee. More recently, actually, since um Nikki was in Phoenix, I wake up and I hit Anita Ward, ring my bell, and I just dance while I wait for my coffee to the song that's like forever long and I love it and it puts me in a good mood. I would not say I ever wake up with the experience of like eyes wide open, being like, let's go. I can't wait to take all the dance. Like that is never an experience. Like for me, I wake up, I have my coffee, I do a little dance, I'm walking Nico for 45 minutes to an hour, I come back, then I get in. Um, if I am super anxious and like there's a like now, you know, like so much on my plate, the very first thing I want to do is wake up, get my coffee, and then go straight to my computer. Um, so Nico is usually the thing that like makes me go on a walk first before I get any work done. Um, but if he if I don't have him for some reason, then um I go straight to the computer. But it's not like a feeling of like, yeah, I'm gonna tackle the day. It's like my I'm anxious, let's go. Like I have work to do. Um, I don't think I ever wake up and say, like, meh, like I don't have the I know I never have dread for the day, but I do have fatigue sometimes when I wake up. Like I'm still tired. I have that feeling sometimes, um, where it's like, okay, I'm gonna have to like work myself out of this. Which the dancing helps and the coffee helps, but and the walking helps. Um, so I'd say like first thing waking up, I'm kind of like in this middle neutral zone. Interesting.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

I wonder if that's genetic. That everybody's like you are, you know, like, well, obviously, I know you guys feel this. No, clearly not. Yeah, I have oh god, I'd agree.

SPEAKER_03 11:22

I was gonna say, I kind of think this might be a little bit genetic because it's so funny because we have stories of my little sister Suicim, who would literally make her bed at night, have her clothing on before she went. This is when she was little, have her clothing for the next day on, ready to go. She would sleep on top of her bedding because she didn't want to mess up her bed and wake up the next morning and be like, okay, it's time to go. Like she's already dressed and ready for the day when we were like, I'm sure, like she was six or seven or whatever. But like, yeah, that's that feels very like the Lund way. Like, okay, let's do it. We're gonna do the day. Like, what what do we have?

SPEAKER_01 12:02

I have a friend, uh, Mel, and she sometimes describes she wakes up before her alarm clock every day. I also have a new friend who doesn't even set an alarm clock, and I'm just like, if I don't set an alarm clock, I'm sleeping 12 hours. Legit 10 to 12 hours, I could sleep. So I have to set an alarm clock, but she wakes up before her alarm clock and she describes it exactly like you, Nikki, where it's like bing, that's what she does with her eyes, like bing, I'm up, let's go, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 12:29

The I was, I thought everybody did this. So I set my alarm every day for 7 a.m. And I always wake up at 658. Like two minutes before. And you guys, I was just in DC and I thought, oh, I'm gonna be off. Da-da-da-da. It took two days for me to get back on that schedule. I woke up, it was more like 6:40 because my body still was. I woke and I was trying to sleep in. Like specifically, I was like, I'm gonna sleep in. I still woke up 640 DC time, like bing, like it's time to get up.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

And so I just got up. I'm a snoozer. I can't remember. It's like very unusual that I went and snooze. Like the alarm goes off and I like click it and I like just like sleep again for another 15 minutes or so.

SPEAKER_03 13:12

Well, I do that. I do click the snooze button sometimes, especially if I want to stay snuggled in bed for a little bit, and also because I'm kind of like still thinking about what I'm gonna do that day. Like almost like a strategy session all by myself. That happens for the eight hours while you're sleeping. This is genius. I wake up and I'm kind of like, oh, what was I gonna do today? Oh, yeah, I've got this, this, and this. I do tend to pull out the things that I'm very excited to do for the day. But then also, I mean, I think I just must get an inordinate amount of dopamine from checking things off.

SPEAKER_01 13:48

Yes. Yes. I remember in Bear Lake, you're like, it's time for me to check something else off. I gotta go do something. So that was very clear. But one of the things I think I struggle with. So I've been listening to a morning meditation I really, really love. However, I'm very curious. I'd like to try the joy meditation. I'd like to focus on something that has brought me joy and then call in what I want. I have an issue where like sometimes I don't know what I'm calling in. Like, I don't know what specifically I want to call in. And so I have a hard time visualizing.

SPEAKER_00 14:22

Uh, I bet if you really thought you could think of like a couple of things. Like some some mornings, and I will kind of just go with like there's some mornings where I'm just I'm in my house and I'm sitting and drinking coffee and like looking out at my backyard and my lovely pool. Um, sometimes I Wait, are you doing that right now? Like, could you look out the window and see your lovely pool, Nikki? I do have that's the lovely pool is in my front yard. Um, so um, but this morning, uh, my husband and I were sitting and looking out in our lovely. Um, but sometimes I will I've had uh you guys and I have been in Italy and talking about like some great stuff that's happened to us. I like I can see you from the balcony of my room. I see you guys down there. You guys are already down for breakfast. I see you from the balcony of my room. Then I come down and then sat down with you guys and we had breakfast and talked about some cool stuff that our our the people who work for us had sent in, like some cool wins. Um I think, yeah, I think if you you play with it a little bit or just like, ooh, what would feel really nice? Because it doesn't have to be a big win, you know, it doesn't have to be looking at your looking at your your vanguard account and seeing 30 million, you know. It can just be like, ooh, like it could you could even like I we the three of us met up in Savannah or the three of us go and meet up in the Maldives or the three, you know, or yeah, you know, just just anything. Okay. I mean, not that I'm trying to tell you what to do, even though I very much. No, no, I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_01 15:57

Sometimes I think I just get stuck in like, well, how do I know what I really want? You know?

SPEAKER_03 16:01

So maybe you won't know what you really want. You just have to like keep doing the meditation over and over again. And I bet the ones that bring you the most joy or that you feel like are the ones you really want will come up again and again. I was thinking about that for me because I don't do a joy meditation, but sometimes I daydream, and my daydreams usually revolve. I don't even want to say this out loud. Oh, now you have to. No, because they're just silly, but it's just like Josh and I meeting in a bar for the first time again and him picking me up. You know what I mean? Like that kind of thing. And I have it very visualized. And so because of that, it's like, I mean, I'm with Josh, he's my husband, but like it kind of brings the romance back and this whole idea of romanticizing your life. I feel like in order for me to really do that, I kind of dream up scenarios where, you know, the it's romantic.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

I love that. I saw on Instagram recently, I'm like, that's a fun relationship I'd like to be in. It was a woman and she was just in bed, and all you can see is like her legs and feet. It's like she's like recording out, and she's like, you know, husband, I want you to flirt with me. Like, I need you to flirt right now. And then he just like comes in and he's got his shirt off and he's wearing this like Spartan mask, and he's like, What? I'm like, that's fun. You know what I mean? Like, keep that spark alive. I that's what you reminded me of when you were, you know, fantasizing about like Josh picking you up at a bar.

SPEAKER_03 17:32

Yeah. So those are those are the types of things that I don't think I do a joy meditation per se, but I will think about those things throughout the day. And it makes it more fun, like we're going on a date tonight. It makes more fun when I go on the date because then it feels special somehow, which is so funny because we don't always go on a Friday night date, but it's like, wow, how do you mix this up? We've been married for 25 years. You're like trying to find new ways to mix it up. Clearly, his way to mix it up was to come try to kick Nikki out of us watching a show last night. Good luck, buddy.

SPEAKER_00 18:09

Good luck. Take a break to you. I'm always gonna win. Always. Um, what are other rituals you guys have? I don't know if I have uh other specific joy rituals, but I think in terms of self-care, which is actually kind of I will tell you this, but it's kind of ironic now that I'm basically coming back from Bear Lake and being like, I can't be alone anymore. Um but one of the things that I I know that I need to do, so I guess this crossesophyllis for a while, is I need to do like a personal retreat every six months or so. I think I've mentioned this to you. Um I I say every six months and it usually ends up being more like once a year. But I need to go away for a weekend. It needs to be ideally a place that I have not been to before. And it doesn't even have to be like, oh, I've never been to this, but it has to be like a hotel room that is uh it's unfamiliar to me. Like it can't be the same, it can't be the same walls I've seen before. And it has to be Friday through Sunday because I know that on Friday I will get there and I will spend a lot of Friday night being like, what are you doing? Oh my God, I can't believe you took this weekend away. You have so much stuff to be doing. Why are you like, what a waste of time? Are you out of your mind? And then that voice like has to it has to dial all the way up so that it can dial all the way down because then by Saturday, like Saturday morning, Saturday afternoon, I'm like, oh, oh yeah. This is why I have to do this. And it just it all releases so that by Sunday morning I'm feeling like connected to myself again. And I have to, I will usually pack up like some. Um, I like to be in a hotel that can, I can either go down to the bar for dinner or I can get room service. Um, I always pack up some supplies with me though, like an apple, some brie, some bread, um, some Nutella, a bottle of wine, like just basic stuff that I can configure into snacks slash a meal. Um, I've learned that I can't watch television because television ruins it. Uh, you can't, you just you can't relax if you're watching television. You just taste it. I can read as much as I want to, and I can read anything that I want to. Um, that does that only helps, but TV ruins it. Um and yeah, it's it uh it is very necessary. And uh part of why I don't do it every six months the way that I know that I should is because I get into my head beforehand and go, you cannot afford to take this time away. You can't like you need you, you should be working this week. You have so much stuff to do. Why don't you just work through the weekend and then maybe you can do it next month? Or maybe you can, and it it's it is the it sounds like it's a reasonable part of my my mind, but it is the resistance part of my mind trying to get me to the point where I am burned out and then I can't do anything.

SPEAKER_03 21:04

Nikki, is the point of it to relax you? Is that the point of going away? You don't work during that time, you just literally try to give you're allowed to read and you are just trying to read, I can journal.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

Um it's a brain break. Yes. And it is very, very I've never done one of those. It it I it is something that I need. And every time, every time I come back from it, I'm even on it, I'm like, oh thank God I did this. Oh, because you I spend so much time focusing on all these little things and keeping myself dialed up to this this high degree, even though I I I live well, when I did, I live alone. You know, I so it's not like, but there's just something about you know being in your own home. There's all the stuff you have to do in your house, and there's always like your computer's always there. So you can and I take my computer with me in case there's some kind of, I don't know, work emergency, but um, but I never pull it out. I just it's like a safety blank. It do you like hang out by the pool, things like that? Yeah, if there's a pool, certainly. Um but and sometimes I'd get up there and I'm like, I by the time I get in there, I just like stay in the hotel room for a lot of it. Like I went and stayed in um Newport, Rhode Island. I think, and I think they had a pool. Um, but it was a nice like I'll usually get myself a nice big room, a suite if I can. So there's some space, you know, different space. Like, oh, I'm gonna journal over here in this corner. I'm gonna journal over if I can get a place with a balcony, even better. Um, but it I find it very freeing to be in a space that is new to me and to not to basically to be like you can't think about work. You can think about work, but you're not gonna be doing strategizing this weekend. You can think about work in the sense of a big picture, like where do I want to be in a year? Where do I want to be in five years? And but it's it I I find it very necessary and very um helpful.

SPEAKER_01 23:07

You reminded me, yeah, you reminded me of something I used to do, and I'm just now realizing I let it fall off, which is basically um pretty much twice a year. I would do a retreat, a private retreat where I would go to this was before we had our cabins, but like I would go rent a cabin somewhere, and it it was inspired. I know it's like Bill Gates. He does this like think week where it's like he gets away for a week and he just reads and he a lot of times it's like business stuff or like articles, and he just like removes himself from the outer world so he can like and I was like, oh, that's what I want to do. And I really loved it. And sometimes I would take my dog and just like sit on the porch, swing, go on walks. I do love to do big brainstorming there. Like, I'm not against working in these situations. Um, not like the tedious work of like, I'm gonna record videos. It's it's literally like the deep, I'm gonna grow here. Um, and I realized, man, that's been, I haven't done that probably since we got our cabins because it's like you got cabins, just go there. There was something special about I'm gonna try this new place, I'm gonna go here, I'm gonna get away. I always pack like some food and drinks or whatever. I would typically go for like four or five days. I might put book something like that, put it on the agenda. Something new. Usually I'm not really interacting with other people, it's pretty secluded. Um, although talk about a bad dream. So to carry over from the podcast we that, you know, last week's podcast. Yeah. Um, I was in one of these places and it was pretty secluded. And um I had a dream that somebody broke into the room I was sleeping in at that cabin, basically assaulted me. And I remember waking up and being like, I'm afraid to go back to sleep. So some so I'm now wondering, maybe I shouldn't be so secluded. What's the hotel? I know, but the hotel I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna go hang up at the pool, and I'm gonna go, maybe there's people to talk to. I don't know. I gotta figure it out. But I did really, really enjoy getting away, and there was something very like powerful about it. Have you ever done that, Karina?

SPEAKER_03 25:14

Like not at your own place, but not I've never booked a place just for me, and it hasn't been a work reason, right? So, like anytime I've ever booked something and I'm like, oh, I'm booking a hotel, it's literally to be away from my family so I could get the work done. That would be the only reason to do it. I'm not saying I wouldn't do something like this, but I'm gonna say this. I I just have a lot of people in my life that you guys know. And I there's a lot of people that need time with me. My children, my husband, like and so actually the best thing, the best like kind of ritual that I'd like to keep in place just happened this last December. You've heard me talk about it, and that is Josh and I went to Maui basically for a weekend to do annual planning for our family. And we spent that time bucket listing our lives. And maybe that's the difference between maybe doing it alone versus with somebody else, like because Josh and I do everything together, even though we have our separate careers and all of that. It would be very hard for me to imagine all these things I'm gonna do with my life without him also talking about the stuff he wants to do so we could mesh our lives together. So that would be the closest thing. And last year we did three, we did one bucket list, but we did three experiences together where like it that's kind of what I want to do. I don't know if I want to do something alone.

SPEAKER_01 26:44

I have a bucket list kind of, and I think I will end up doing it alone, but um, I think it would be like a beautiful thing to do with your partner. And there is a place here called Castle Hot Springs. Google it, I dare you. It is gorgeous. You need like a four by four vehicle to get to it. It's in the middle of the desert, and they have these hot springs there. It's all like inclusive in terms of it's not like it's a very, very small resort, but it's like wellness-based and everything's curated, natural, like farm to table, and it's just like this very, very boutiquey, bougie getaway in the middle of the desert where you're just surrounded by beautiful waterfalls and hot springs and the nature, and I want to do that so bad. I think like it's like 1200 a night.

SPEAKER_00 27:34

Oh, it's like a Canyon Ranch kind of acceptance. It's like a super massages.

SPEAKER_01 27:38

Yeah, so I think maybe that will be a gift after my book is released or something just to go, you know. That's a good idea, you know, and then you can go on a hike to different springs and just like I see I want to do that.

SPEAKER_00 27:51

I this place is lovely. I accepted your child your dare. Wow. Me too. It's isn't it beautiful?

SPEAKER_01 28:00

And like I think it's about it's super close to me, but to get there is like maybe 45 minutes because it's all in the desert, like on the bumpy trails to get there. Like it's kind of I drove past it one day just to kind of check. And um, they even have like a pickleball court. Not that I would, you know, they're you pretty much have to go with somebody to play that there, but necessarily you can mute.

SPEAKER_00 28:22

I I can't get I can't find rates for any of the nights. Can you find anything crazy?

SPEAKER_01 28:26

I see that's yeah, there's um it there's a way to do it.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

I think it's like on a PDF like download based on the because it was trying to go like look at rates and it's like there are no there are no rooms at all available forever. Um but I think you could you could still interact with it.

SPEAKER_01 28:41

It just seems so peaceful and um I could see like you and Josh doing something like this, Karina.

SPEAKER_03 28:48

Yeah, I could see us doing that as well. I love that. Yeah, and I don't think I'm anti-doing something by myself. I just haven't considered it. Is that so weird? No.

SPEAKER_00 29:00

I mean, you're to your point, your life is very and it also has been basically forever, right? I mean, since you were 1920, yeah. Like your life has involved has significantly involved other people. So it doesn't, I don't that doesn't really surprise me that it hasn't been on your radar, but something like that.

SPEAKER_03 29:26

I think it's a lovely idea, but I know me and I'd want to use it for work. So every time I've like snuck away. That's the thing. You can't. Your brain's gonna try to make you do it, you have to not. It would be really hard for me not to want to just work. And when I say work, it could be, and I have hidden away for these things, you guys. I don't even consider it work, sewing quilts for a new fabric line. You know, like for me, like it there's a lot of creativity involved with some of those things, just designing, like spending a lot of time designing. I had to work on a new fabric line a few years ago, and I had to hide away from my family to work on that fabric line. So, like to me, that work is so fun and joyful because I'm creating, like, I think it's different, but maybe maybe not.

SPEAKER_01 30:14

I don't know. Um, I was wrong about the prices. It's anywhere from 1800 to 3600 a night.

SPEAKER_00 30:20

Oh my god, just book it. Just book it. That's so crazy. I'm embarrassed for you. It's so cheap. Just book it.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

Um I have a little thing that brought me some unexpected, like just delight when in DC. Remember Karina when we had dinner and you were getting into your Uber, or we weren't sure it was your Uber, but I was gonna like run home because I'm cold. And you're like, I think that's my Uber in this Hilton across the street. And I'm like, well, text me when you're on your way, right? And then I'm running and I'm getting to the hotel room. Like, she didn't text me. So I went to the um find my friends and I could see driving across the bridge. I'm like, okay, she's in her Uber. Like, it was like a I've never done that before, but um, I've really enjoyed that. Like, okay, I can I can rest now. But then I forgot I didn't text you. So you were like, Did you get to your hotel room? I'm like, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:10

I should have checked it. I don't, that's not my first inclination. I know there are families who have like life 360, they can see their whole family. Our family doesn't do that. I don't know why we don't, we just don't. And so it was funny when Nikki, you and I all put ourselves on our friend feed. And then when I arrived in DC and you were like, look, Crean, it's 10 minutes away from me because we're both in DC. I was like, oh, I forgot we had that. We can live.

SPEAKER_01 31:35

I forgot so too. But for some reason, that's the first time I looked at it since we started following each other. And I was like, oh, this will be fun, you know? Um, like sad face, Nikki's too far away, you know? And then that's when Nikki's like, oh, darn it, I forgot left my phone in Utah.

SPEAKER_00 31:49

G birds, here I am in DC. Um, yeah, it is cute, isn't it? To be like, oh my gosh, a single friend. Even when even when they're far away. Like I was driving to come to you, Natalie, and Melody was like, hey, so how's I don't know where I was, Oklahoma. Who knows where I was? She's like, how's Oklahoma? And I was like, oh, I forgot we put our our where we share each other's location. So you know exactly where I am. Yeah. I just agree.

SPEAKER_03 32:15

It is a joyful thing to be like, you guys haven't talked about this very much, but I do think you need to explain to people the ringing the bell thing that you guys do. Because I think, are you guys both? It sounds like Natalie, you're doing it as a little ritual for yourself in the morning. Nikki, or are you?

SPEAKER_00 32:33

Uh wait, where was I? Was I here yesterday morning? Or where was I yesterday morning? Barely yesterday morning. Yes, I listened to it yesterday morning. Not every morning, but I should do it every morning.

SPEAKER_01 32:42

It's just got a fun, good vibe. Like I feel like, well, supposedly it has like woo-woo magical properties that's supposed to bring in all your wishes and desires. But beyond that, it's just like a good, it's a long song, and it's just a great way to like start the day and just dance and move while you're waiting for your coffee. And it's just so like random. Like it's so silly. Ring my bell, that's the song I'm listening to the first thing in the morning. I just kind of love it. The other thing I've really been getting into, but I'm curbing it because I don't want to be spending so much money, is really cute pajamas. So like at nighttime and in the morning, I can be, I can feel a little bit better about instead of looking like a homeless person. Um, like this is kind of cute. You know what I mean? Like, I'm just like me, you mean? Like me. Like, well, like me right now. I'm like technically still in what I wore to bed. Um, but like for the most part, I it's just like, oh, this is kind of fun. It's a little, I'm getting like a little more feminine, you know? It's just like making the things a little bit nicer in my day-to-day life is like something I'm working on.

SPEAKER_00 33:45

I love this. Don't forget that fancy sleep. It was one of your themes for the year. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 33:49

I'm I have something I think being delivered today. I cannot wait to show you. It's going to be so freaking cute. Um, so yeah, like a little bit of fancy sleep. Just to, I feel like sometimes I get into the house and then I just like turn into a homeless person, like with how I look and how I'm acting. It's like, no, I want to, I want to romanticize my night. Like whether I'm going to have a glass of water and a nice meal and like what am I doing? Am I like live this life? I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm just letting it slip by and I'm numb to it all.

SPEAKER_03 34:20

Yeah, I think that happens to all of us. Like, cause you're just doing the day in and day out, right? Yeah. Trying to just get through your day.

SPEAKER_01 34:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:31

I think that's kind of normal. That's why I do actually love travel, because it breaks everything up.

unknown 34:36

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 34:37

Yes, very much so.

SPEAKER_03 34:39

I'm trying to think if I have any other joy rituals.

SPEAKER_01 34:44

I mean, cuddling with Nika was always a joy. We know your joy ritual creating on here many times.

SPEAKER_03 34:51

I guess that.

SPEAKER_00 34:53

I know. Poor thing.

SPEAKER_03 34:59

So uh Josh, once in a while, well, there was a period where he tried to do meditation. And so he would sit in our bedroom and be cross-legged and like actually do a meditation. And he accidentally on your aura ring wrap app, he accidentally pushed something on it that started a meditation. So he immediately felt like he had to do it. So he like immediately sat down and starts doing meditation. Well, I walk in two minutes into it. I'm like, wait, what's going on in here? And he was like, sit down with me and do this meditation. I accidentally hit it on my app. And I'm like, okay.

SPEAKER_02 35:31

So but we I sat down in front of him and we just laughed the whole last two minutes. Like, I like because it was making me laugh that we were, I was like, what? I don't understand what happened. He was like, I don't, I don't know what happened. I feel like I was supposed to do this meditation.

SPEAKER_03 35:45

And I was thinking, I everyone talks about how meditation is so, so good for you. But for whatever reason, I have really struggled trying to make myself do it.

SPEAKER_01 35:57

I think meditation can be beyond what we consider sitting with our eyes closed, legs crossed, that I think meditation can be walking, um, exercise, journaling. Um, I think there's uh different ways to meditate that maybe aren't just the do nothing. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 36:17

Yeah, especially if you think of it in terms of like taking yourself out of your out of your head, you know, like the the day-to-day. Uh I think sitting and laughing with your husband is like a perfect meditation.

SPEAKER_01 36:30

Yeah, it's almost like dropping in a present moment.

SPEAKER_03 36:33

Although we were laughing because we're like, this aura ring is not gonna show that you were meditating in your heart, like, which I think is the point of it, you know, because it's trying to show that you're restored. I was like, yeah, you're not gonna be restored. Like we both laugh. Sorry, this is TMI, but we both laugh when we have an activity. Jump right up onto our aura ring thing afterwards, you know, because we're like, oh, that put us in zone three and four.

SPEAKER_01 37:01

Does it say, like, does it suggest like cycling question mark or either knocking the boots?

SPEAKER_03 37:08

Ours is ours, because there's no option to choose just that. So um Do you want me to say it for you?

SPEAKER_00 37:15

Do you want me to say the word sex for you?

SPEAKER_03 37:19

In my aura ring, it just says Josh.

SPEAKER_00 37:23

That's funny. Yeah. What if it says Josh on everybody's aura ring? What if it's just the code for sex on everybody's aura ring? I don't think I want an aura ring. I know you guys love yours, but it just sounds so stressful. It's just another thing to manage.

SPEAKER_03 37:40

I think it feels like a game. That's why I like it. I, you know what I really appreciate from it though is um I think I manage my stress relatively well. And I think I do a pretty good job. But while I was going through a very big milestone during the month of April, I noticed for two weeks my stress levels were off the charts. And I wouldn't have known that because I thought I was managing so well, you know, like I was getting more sleep, and I but like my heart rate was very, very high most days. And I think by seeing that, it just gave me a little bit of permission to be like, hey, Krina, I think you need a few more breaks. Yeah. Krino, like you, you maybe overdid it. And like as I was watching it and I didn't realize I was so elevated for such a long time, I was like, the only reason I feel like I came down the way I did was because I I recognized what was happening and I was letting myself stay at that level. And I like took a day off and then I rested, and then I got more some some more sleep, and I made Josh take me on multiple dates. Like I did things that I think I would not have done if I hadn't seen the writing on the wall. And that's what the Aura Ring does for me. I don't know if that's great for everybody else, but for me, I clearly am not self-aware enough. I wish I was. I wish as an adult we were self-aware, but man, I really have it.

SPEAKER_01 39:04

I'm realizing I'm not using it to the full potential, but you mentioned the word restored, and you know how it tells you whether you're like stressed, engaged, relaxed, restored. I'm just going through my past week and I have like zero time ever and restored. So this is interesting to me. So what I think I should do is pay more attention to how my days are going and maybe at the end of every day, like look back and see see if I ever hit the restored, what the heck was I even doing? What was that about?

SPEAKER_00 39:29

Because um Yeah, does it give you tips? Like if you've never hit restored, how on earth would you be able to do it?

SPEAKER_01 39:37

Well, there's relaxed, there's like a relaxed um in there, but I don't I have to read more about how to get into restored.

SPEAKER_02 39:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:45

Um, like this this day your body didn't experience many high stress peaks or restorative moments, a neutral day as far as your stress levels go. Does that sound right as you look back? And I'm realizing I'm not really I need to check-in nightly to go back. Like I usually use it for like sleep and like my activity and like my score and like tracking my menstrual cycle, but I think I could probably benefit from when am I stressed and when am I restored? And how do I get that more in balance?

SPEAKER_03 40:12

Nikki, I'm looking at mine, and today we went and did our laser treatments, and then we went to lunch, and I have multiple restored points during that time.

SPEAKER_00 40:21

I restore you, that's what I'm getting from this.

SPEAKER_03 40:23

Yeah. So, Nick, like for me, I look at it on a daily basis and I'm like, oh, what did I do today? Oh, clearly going and getting a facial makes me feel restored. Going to lunch or breakfast with a friend makes me feel restored. And then since then, um, like even during this podcast, I'm actually in a relaxed state. But it was when I was trying to remember, Nick, we were trying to do multiple things right before this. I'm in an engaged state. And that's I spend a lot of time.

SPEAKER_00 40:49

Natalie, check your march, see if I restored you in March.

SPEAKER_01 40:51

I am actually um relaxed now during this podcast, which is good. But does your aura ring miss data? Like I'm missing like three hours this morning. It says no data.

SPEAKER_00 41:01

No.

SPEAKER_01 41:02

I have to figure out why that's happening. But for the most part, I've um so March, when we check March.

SPEAKER_00 41:09

Yeah, check March see if I see if I restored you in March. Yeah. Your March was incredibly stressful. Is there someone sitting on your sofa every time you come out to your living room?

SPEAKER_03 41:20

My um, my especially last week of March, but the last two weeks of March were pretty bad. Like that's I think when I was having pretty bad stressful time periods, which makes sense. I was under the deadline of getting everything in by April 3rd.

SPEAKER_01 41:34

So Yeah, I have large gaps in my readings.

SPEAKER_03 41:40

I think it must be in a ring.

SPEAKER_01 41:42

Yeah, maybe it's not the best size or something.

SPEAKER_03 41:45

Also, I track all my travel. So I will put in tags when I travel, and it now tells me every time I travel, I get some percentage less of sleep those days, which is true. Every single time my travel like almost puts me back into sleep debt, and then I have to pay it off, you know, as I go.

SPEAKER_01 42:05

I don't really track my travel or my tags until it prompts me, like, whoa, this metric was way out of line. What could have contributed? And then it has a little tag thing so that I'm like, oh, travel, you know, like then I'll click it. But I don't, I'm not proactive about it.

SPEAKER_03 42:20

I'm super proactive. So I track travel, I track Josh, I track other things related to Josh. I'm gonna say that. I track hot baths, I track hot baths and hot showers. I know that sounds weird, but because I have had so many sleep problems over the last year, um, I wanted to see if hot baths and hot showers, because I you can read trends in aura, and one of the things it said was hot baths increases REM sleep by 2%. And so I was like, ooh, I'm interested in this to see if that helps. And it does. Like when I warm up my body before I go to sleep, I usually sleep, I have more REM sleep. So I just I'm like, I'm just playing with it to see what's going on.

SPEAKER_01 43:05

Yeah, I do like it. It's help, it's helpful to get in tune with what is happening in your body.

SPEAKER_03 43:13

Also, when I take a new medication, I almost always get a thing that says minor signs. Like my body is struggling to take care of whatever that medication is.

SPEAKER_01 43:23

I will say that's alarming. When I see the minor signs or major signs, and I wake up and the screen is bright red or orange, I think I turned it off actually. I'm like, that's freaking me out. I don't like to see it. But like for the last couple days, this might also be why I've been so overwhelmed. The last couple days it says my heart rate variability is out of whack. Like, what's contributing to it? I'm like, I don't know, tell me what's contributing to it. Um, so some my you know, so it's affecting my overall readiness and everything. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:54

Yeah, it's just it's I think it's just interesting. I mean, I think if you let it rule your life. That's no good. But I really got it for the sleep because I was tracking my sleep because I pr I wish I had had it for the last two years so I would know how much REM and deep sleep I was getting. Cause I don't think I was getting much, if any, at all. Because I was waking so much up in the night. So anyway. Would you say your aura ring brings you joy? I think knowledge is power. I think you two bring me joy.

SPEAKER_00 44:30

Oh, I agree. I mean, the fact that you guys feature so often in my joy meditations is evidence that you guys bring me joy.

SPEAKER_03 44:38

Did Melody and the girls show up in your um joy meditations as well? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 44:43

And sometimes I spend time with my mom and my brother. But sometimes the sometimes when I think about the the thing that brings me joy from the past that I move into, it'll be spending time with like the whole family when dad was still around. And like even like I'll think about little Zuzu and her being around. And I'll think about kind of the the I guess that'd be five if you include the dog, all of us all together. And kind of a little bit, a little bit revised reality, because you know, dad will be dad will be older, but he will be perfectly cognizant and will be sitting around playing a game or whatever, having snacks or something. But yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:23

Do you ever have something? Oh, sorry, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 45:25

No, go, go, Natalie.

SPEAKER_01 45:26

Do you ever have something pop into your mind during the joy meditation? You're like, oh no, I don't want to get that one person out or something. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 45:33

Yeah, stuff will kind of pop in, but I uh every once in a while. I think in general, when I'm thinking about something that just feels so good, it's easier to stick to stick with it. If something pops in, I'll just kind of like gently like redirect, you know, instead of like just kind of like that's not the direction I want to go. I want to stay over here. And then sometimes if I'm in a scene and I'm like, kind of losing the losing the emotion, then I'll go to a different scene, or like, oh, if I was, if I was sitting having coffee with my husband looking at our backyard, maybe we're talking about, I'm so excited because Natalie and Corina are coming to stay. And I, this is my first time showing them the new house. And like, oh, and then we're gonna take them up for dinner, and or we're gonna have dinner here or whatever, you know, like, or we're gonna have a chef come and we're gonna do like a little cooking glass in my new kitchen, our new kitchen, and you know, all that kind of stuff. So it's like kind of playing with iteration playing, and like, oh, what then what fun thing could happen, and then what fun thing could happen, and then what would make that awesome? And yeah, it's fine. It's a really nice way to start.

SPEAKER_03 46:32

I just think the observation, Nikki, as I've been watching you do this, um, has been that I I think this, I hope this I don't know, you guys can tell me is the case for all human beings, but joy really doesn't come from things, it comes from people. Like it comes from experiences. Like the joy is if it's not with a person, it's sitting on a balcony and Positano. Like, you know what I mean? Like that magic of being in a place, and then the magic of being with people that you really love and enjoy. Like, I it is it's always such an interesting thing when you know, especially the three of us owning business and constantly having to worry about finances and and building things up, but at the end of the day, when it really all comes down to it, it's like all the joy really actually revolves around two things like a beautiful place and people.

SPEAKER_00 47:28

Yeah, yeah, I agree. It's I will it's rare. Sometimes part of the joy meditation, you know, like I said, sometimes it will be like checking my accounts or hearing from my accountant, and you know, and that's that is that's really fun to be like, oh, look at this is how much my net worth has gone up, and you know, um, but I don't think I've done a single joy meditation where it's been me alone the whole time. Sometimes it'll be me upstairs doing some work and then coming downstairs, and either friends or loved ones are there or but yeah, it's it doesn't anyway.

SPEAKER_03 48:03

And based on that, why did we think that you could do Bear Lake for three weeks by yourself?

SPEAKER_00 48:08

I don't know. Uh I really, I don't know. I like look, because I know that sometimes I need time alone. As it turns out, though, sometimes I really need to be around.

SPEAKER_03 48:19

Well, I don't know if you remember this, Nikki, but before we had this plan, I think I said to you, maybe you should come to Salt Lake every weekend, like be up at Bear Lake and come home every weekend. Or come home. You're my home's your home now, Nikki.

SPEAKER_00 48:31

Um both of your homes are my home. I've everyone, everywhere I touch becomes my new home.

SPEAKER_03 48:35

So I'm like, you should come back on the weekends. And um, I just it's so funny because even last week I knew I was leaving for DC on Saturday, but I I don't know if I suggested to you, but I thought in my head, she should come on Thursday or Friday to the Salt Lake house and just be with me until I leave for DC. And technically she could stay all weekend if she wanted to just to have a break. But then I was like, I didn't want to encroach on your like, oh, I'm getting it done time. So I didn't want to like, you know, because I don't know, maybe some people really can do it by themselves for yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:11

I mean, well, and at that point too, I mean, you that was the first week, the first week that I was alone. So I was still like, all right, it's gonna be great. I can do this. But um yeah, by the time I was really kind of climbing the walls a little bit. And could I could I've done it? Like if I would now granted, we were all the plan was always for me to come back down here for this Friday so we could get little tiny pins stuck into our faces. Um not really a little tiny, it just feels like it. It feels like thousands of little tiny pins. Um but the original plan would be I was going back up there tomorrow morning or Sunday morning and it works out great that you're here.

SPEAKER_03 49:52

And I'm like, I mean, it's per it in my mind, the barn is a guest house, so it's like easy peasy. Also, your friend who understands that I work and that I'm gonna show up in this guest house to work, you know, I think it's harder. I we I haven't had a guest who isn't I guess my sister Yanny, but we were leaving for Korea the next day, so it wasn't like I was working in the barn, but um, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:18

When you know, I mean you guys both know I love working next to other people. Like we don't have to be working in the same thing, but I love working and periodically, you know, one of us will say something or ask a question, or you know, but like, oh, I love working next to other people.

SPEAKER_03 50:33

We that was probably the funnest thing about being in Phoenix, like when we were like outside by the pool working, or we're both sitting in front of the uh on the sofa working, and then Natalie would be at the table, the two of us would be at the couch. I was like, this feels very good.

SPEAKER_00 50:50

Mm-hmm. Really good. Yeah, which is why surprise Natalie and I are coming to Hawaii with Josh is gonna be like, I finally get some quality time with my wife, and we're gonna be like, surprise, Josh, you're gonna have to find a different room to stay in because Natalie and I are staying with Karina. Hello, right? Hello.

SPEAKER_03 51:10

You're welcome, Josh. I mean, even this is so funny now that we're in so many places, but like I have to go to Chicago immediately after because I'm going to the H and H America shows. And Nikki was just like, that's only an hour and a half away from Wisconsin where I'm gonna be. How do we figure out how to see each other? And I'm just like, this seems so ridiculous because I've just seen you like a literally a week.

SPEAKER_00 51:28

Yeah, but how cool is this? I think that's part of what make 2026 is great, and we're just constantly like popping up where the other ones are. You never know. Maybe there's gonna be a snowstorm or something, and you get stuck in snowstorm in Salt Lake, and then you get stuck in Chicago for a bonus night, and then I come down there.

SPEAKER_03 51:45

I like that you put that on Salt Lake. You were like, it's not happening in Wisconsin.

SPEAKER_00 51:50

Well, it happened right if it happens in Chicago or in Wisconsin, then it's gonna be hard for me to drive down there and I want to be able to drive down there. Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_03 51:59

All right, I think we'll wrap this one up. That was fun, you guys. Thank you. Bye.