How to Start Your Memoir When You Don't Know How to Begin

If you’re standing in front of a blank page feeling both excited and completely overwhelmed, this episode is for you.

Most aspiring memoir writers don’t struggle because they have nothing to say—they struggle because they have too much. A lifetime of memories, emotions, turning points, and questions can feel like a storm with no clear way in.

In this episode, we explore how to move from overwhelm to clarity by finding the true beginning of your memoir—not the start of your life story, but the moment everything changed.

You’ll learn:

•  Why most writers get stuck before they even begin 
•  The emotional trap of trying to include “everything” 
•  How to find the defining moment that anchors your memoir 
•  A simple 3-step method to uncover your story’s starting point 
•  Why your memoir begins with a scene, not a summary 
•  How to write forward even when you don’t have it all figured out 

This is your reminder that clarity doesn’t come before writing. It comes through writing.

And your story doesn’t need perfection to begin—it just needs permission.

If this episode spoke to you, stay connected

💬 Join the my free Facebook group, Memoir Magic for Aspiring Authors, which offers support, encouragement, and ongoing inspiration as you begin or continue your memoir journey. JOIN HERE

✍️ Take the Next Step: The Memoir Blueprint Workshop

If you’re ready to go deeper and finally get unstuck, I invite you to join my workshop:

The Memoir Blueprint: How to Stop Overthinking and Start Writing

This workshop will help you:

•  Identify the core story beneath your life experiences 
•  Stop overthinking and start writing with direction 
•  Find your natural entry point into your memoir 
•  Turn overwhelm into a clear, simple writing path 

Because your memoir doesn’t begin when you feel ready.

It begins when you decide to begin.

Your story is not too much. It’s waiting for shape.

And shape begins with a single brave page. Register to attend the May 7. workshop.

I’ll see you inside.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Making Memoir Magic. To learn more about my course, Make Memoir Magic, click here. 

Join my free Facebook Group, Memoir Magic for Aspiring Authors, where we honor your story, provide tips, create community, and help you write the story you were meant to tell. Join here!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Making Memoir Magic, the podcast where we unlock the power of your story and guide you through the magical process of turning life experiences into memoirs that inspire and impact. I'm your host, Carrie Chrysman, a memoir mentor and storytelling champion. And I'm here to help you find the courage to embrace your unique story and share it with the world. Whether you're just starting out or refining your final draft, this is the place to be for practical tips, inspiration, and the encouragement you need to write the memoir only you can tell. Ready to make some magic? Let's dive in. Hello and welcome back to the Making Memoir Magic Podcast. I hope you like my virtual background here. And for those of you listening, I've got a sunlit office space and um some paintings or pictures on the wall of a cassette tape and a bookshelf, of course. So anyway, thought I'd have a little fun with virtual backgrounds for this recording. But today we're talking about one of the biggest questions aspiring memoir writers ask. And that is, how do I start my memoir when I have no idea to begin? Um or where to begin. And that's one of the questions that I get most often is that, oh, I've lived such a vast life. I've had so many experiences. I know I want to write something, but I'm not sure what to write about. Um, and that's where we get into talking about theme. And I can focus on that in another podcast. I've taught that in my memoir course, making memoir magic, um, that you can tie all of your experiences into one theme. But some of you who are listening, and some of the writers that I talk to are actually at this very beginning. They're staring at a blank page. They know they have whether it's a lifetime of stories or even a decade or a few months of stories, memories, heartbreak, triumph, lessons learned. Um, they just don't know where to start. And that results in them feeling frozen because they don't know what comes first. And so, as a reminder, I always like to make the distinction between an autobiography and a memoir. Your autobiography or a autobi, an autobiography, is beginning to end, birth to death, um, your entire life story. A memoir is a slice of time, um, a snapshot, uh a period of your life where you experience some form of transformation, whether that was an internal shift, um, something you learned, something you survived. So keep in mind that difference when you're thinking about what to write. But one thing that I want to tell you right away before we get further into this episode is that if you're not sure where to begin, that doesn't mean that you're not ready to write your memoir. It means that you care so much about your story, the one you want to tell. And it also means that your story matters enough that you want to do it justice. So most people don't realize that distinction between autobiography and memoir. But what you must know when writing your memoir is that you need to start with a thread. And today I'm going to help you find that thread. So let's say it like it is. Most people don't struggle with writing because they have nothing to say, they struggle because they have too much to say. Now remember, a memoir is not a diary, it's not your entire life story from birth to today, and it is not every Christmas heartbreak, job, city you've lived in, or relationship you have had. If you tackle the idea of writing a memoir in that way, thinking you have to tell the reader everything, you're going to get overwhelmed. So a lot of writers sit down thinking that they need to map out 50 years before they write one sentence. So no wonder they don't write anything. It feels way too heavy. And the pain point is really the lack of stories. It's the fear over choosing the wrong story, the fear that you might forget important details, the fear that you think your story won't matter, the fear that you won't do it justice to the people who are involved in your story, your fear of being vulnerable or judged. And underneath all of that is this thought that is nagging at you, whispering in your ear, sitting on your shoulder, asking yourself, what if I'm not really a writer? So I'm here to challenge that. But I want you to know that if you have lived, reflected, survived, questioned, grieved, grown, or transformed, then you have the raw material of memoir. And you don't need permission, you need a path. And that's what I teach. Here is the simplest and most powerful place to begin. Start with something that changed. Not the day you were born, not your family tree, not chapter one of your life, the moment. I like to call that an inciting moment. Ask yourself what happened on that day that split my life into before and after? What changed the way I saw myself? What season taught me something I can't unknow? What relationship, loss, diagnosis, move, betrayal, triumph, or revelation alter my path? Memoir lives in transformation. That is the key element that every memoir must have. Readers are not just looking for a summary of your life events, they are looking for the meaning behind them. They want to know why it mattered, and you as the author must prove that. So a beautiful memoir begins when the writer can understand this. It's not just what happened, it's about who you became because it happened, and that's the heartbeat. And often the entry point is not chronological, it's emotional. It's the kitchen where a divorce conversation happened, the hospital room where everything changed, the airport gate where you finally left, the classroom where someone said something that you never forgot. Ordinary places that often hold extraordinary beginnings. And sometimes the doorway into memoir is one room, one sentence, one scent, one phone call, and that is where the electricity is. So follow that spark. If something is leading you to tell the story and start your story in that place, follow it. It's it's nudging you for a reason. So let's talk about this in practical terms. When writers in my world feel overwhelmed, I teach them a three-step starting framework. I teach them how to identify the core wound, question, or transformation. What is the emotional engine of the story? Was it learning to forgive, surviving betrayal, finding your voice, healing after loss, redefining identity, rebuilding after failure, motherhood and self-discovery, life after illness, becoming brave enough to leave, learning who you are beyond a role. All of these are examples that point to the deeper why. Now yours may not even be on this list, but it gives you an idea of what you might look for and some examples of what is a core theme of a memoir. And then I teach aspiring authors how to choose one defining scene. And how you do this is you find one cinematic moment, a scene with a place. You can ground your reader in the place, you can write about the tension and make them feel it as if they are in the room when you share emotion and dialogue and sensory detail. Memoirs start moving when readers can see the action. So, for example, instead of saying, My childhood was difficult, try this. Try writing, I was 10 years old, standing barefoot on the kitchen tile, listening to my parents whisper and fight behind the refrigerator door. So that is where the story breathes. You can feel the tension and you can imagine what it must feel like as a 10-year-old to hear your parents fight. So the third thing that I offer to aspiring authors who don't know where to start and are looking for a way to find the core theme of their memoir is to write them toward discovery, not perfection. And this is the part that people resist. They think they need the structure first, they outline, they chapter map, they work on their title, they find the perfect opening line, but no, you need movement, you need to discover the shape of the story you're trying to tell. So perfection masks itself as fear, all dressed up. So keep that in mind. We all have tendencies toward perfection. These first writing, the first paragraphs, and even the revisions that will come before the final product, they're yours. They're for your eyes only. So let them be messy and let them be uncertain. But start with one honest scene, and then the story will reveal itself. I promise you that. Um, be more courageous than polished. So now I want to talk about what else is possible on the other side of fear. You've gone past your fear, you've pushed imposter syndrome to the back door or out the back door. So imagine finally opening this document that has haunted you for years. Imagine knowing exactly what story thread you want to follow. Imagine writing scenes that feel alive or pages that make you and your readers cry, and moments that make sense because now you can see the meaning behind it. So this is bigger than just writing the book. This is about reclaiming your voice, honoring your life, preserving truth, making peace with your past, and turning pain into purpose. It's also about creating something that can inspire, heal, and outlive you. And your story deserves more than just an unfinished thought that lives inside of your head. Your story, your memoir, deserves shape, voice, meaning, legacy. And yes, it deserves a beginning. So if this episode stirred something in you and you are tired of overthinking your memoir instead of actually writing it, I have an invitation for you. I am presenting a workshop May 7th, 4 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, um, live via Zoom, and it is called The Memoir Blueprint: How to Stop Overthinking and Start Writing. And this workshop, it's one of my favorites actually that I teach because it's simple, there's three components, and you leave with actionable strategies. That's the thing. You don't just listen to me, you get to actually work through it while we are together for that one hour. And it's designed for aspiring memoir writers who know they have a story to tell, but feel stuck on where to start, what to include, and how to shape their life into a compelling memoir. So during the one hour together, I'll walk you through the exact framework that I use to help writers move from confusion to clarity so that you can stop circling your story and start writing it with confidence. Memoirs don't begin when you figure everything out, they begin when you trust yourself enough to write the first true scene. And I would love to help you find that beginning. So there is a link to register for that workshop in the show notes. Um, it's a Thursday, late afternoon, if you're on the East Coast with me. And start your weekend early and come to this workshop. Make an investment in your writing, in you, and in your story. So I invite you to come. I hope to see you there. And as always, I'm cheering you on. I believe in you and the power of your story. Your story has value and it deserves to be told. And you are the best person to tell it. So check the show notes. Uh, if you're not in my free Facebook group yet, join the group. It's called Memoir Magic for Aspiring Authors. I'd love to welcome you in, and I hope to see you on May 7th at the workshop. Thank you for joining me on this episode of Making Memoir Magic. I hope today's conversation inspired you to take the next step toward telling your unique story through memoir. Remember, your story matters and someone out there is waiting to read it. If you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to subscribe and leave a review. It helps others find the show. You can also connect with me on my website at carryCreisman.com, on Instagram at carry. You'll get more tips and inspiration on your memoir journey. And each Wednesday, I host a memoir magic writing where you get to join other writers to accomplish the often arduous task of getting words on the page. Until next time, keep writing, keep sharing, and keep making memoir magic.