Did a Pope put a corpse on trial?

What happens when the supreme leader of the Catholic Church goes completely mad with power? You get the Cadaver Synod. Join us for the terrifying medieval courtroom drama of 897, when Pope Formosus was put on trial by Pope Stephen VI. The problem was that Formosus had been dead for 9 months! 

We explore the political schemes, the gruesome trial and punishment of a corpse, and the chaotic aftermath that shook Rome to its core.

If you like your history dark, gripping and gruesome then you're in the right place.

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Transcript

Speaker 4 0:26

What is the absolute limit of human vengeance? Usually, when your worst enemy dies, the feud is over. They win or you do, and the dirt settles. But in the year 897, the Vatican proved that sometimes not even the grave can save you from petty revenge. Today we're stepping into the darkest, most surreal courtroom drama in human history. A trial where the defendants sat dressed in full sacred papal robes, facing accusations of perjury and treason. The twist? The accused had already been dead for nine months. This is the story of Pope Formosus, a man whose execution didn't happen while he was breathing, and whose wildest journey began after his heart stopped beating. If you think modern politics is toxic, wait until you hear what they did to him. Pull up a chair, lock your doors, and let's get into some weird and macabre history.

Speaker 2 1:32

I'm Steve, he's Neil, and this is Honourable Mentions Honourable Mentions.

Speaker 4 1:49

Hello, listener. Say, what do you know of the cadaver synod? Pope Stephen VI great name that Stephen or Pope Formosus Sounds like fried turnovers from the Indian subcontinent with savory fillings, like spiced potatoes, onions and peas. What's that you say? Not a lot. Well don't you worry, listener, because I bring glad tidings today. We're joined by a special guest, no less than the world's foremost historian in the early Middle Ages Roman Catholic Church. It's my honour to welcome ... Oh no, seriously? Hello, Neil. So, you're the world's foremost expert, are you? It says here.

Speaker 3 2:33

That's what it says on my CV. And you're basing that on I know a little bit about history.

Speaker 4 2:39

Okay, that's fair enough. In our episode about Marjorie McCall, you may recall Marjorie McCall. Lived once, buried twice, good episode that listener. Please go back and catch up with it if you haven't done so already.

Speaker 2 2:51

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 4 2:52

Well wait here until you get back. All good now? You back listener? So hello Neil.

Speaker 2 3:19

Hello.

Speaker 4 3:21

Didn't that you say we learn all about grave robbers and what we mean when we say cadaver? So can you please remind the class what we mean?

Speaker 3 3:29

Cadaver is a posh word for a dead body. Specifically to be used in scientific pr pr practices.

Speaker 4 3:38

Scientific pear per practices. Hmm.

Speaker 3 3:41

Sod off. Yes, for used in scientific practices.

Speaker 4 3:46

Why have I asked you that, please, Neil? Hello, Neil.

Speaker 3 3:50

Why have you asked me that? About Because you'd like to test you'd like to test me on my knowledge.

Speaker 4 3:56

It's because, obviously. In the year eight nine seven, Pope Stephen VI held a trial for Pope Formosus, who was the predecessor of Stephen's own predecessor, and by that point had been dead for about nine months. Easy to follow.

Speaker 3 4:12

No, yeah, so I've lost about six predecessors there.

Speaker 4 4:15

And this trial was called the Cadaver Synod, of course. But why did old Stevie put a dead body on trial in the first place, please?

Speaker 3 4:23

It was something to do with history, and Steve didn't like the samosas.

Speaker 4 4:31

Not quite. Shall we find out as we go through the pope hole?

Speaker 3 4:36

Through the where?

Speaker 4 4:37

That sounds wrong, actually, doesn't it?

Speaker 3 4:39

It does sound wrong, yeah. Stick it through your pope hole.

Speaker 4 4:42

We'll just move on from that. Now, this job of pope they have, Neil.

Speaker 3 4:46

Hmm.

Speaker 4 4:47

Hello, Neil. This job of pope they have, it can be traced back to around 30 CE common era.

Speaker 3 4:55

It's not AD anymore, then.

Speaker 4 4:56

Not anymore, no. Get with it, Neil. Get with the times. In those early days, the Pope, as we know him today, was simply the Bishop of Rome, which technically, of course, he still is. But back then, other major cities like Alexandria in Egypt and Antioch in modern day Turkey also had big ass bishops, and for a while the three positions were considered to be equal.

Speaker 3 5:21

So there are three popes?

Speaker 4 5:22

No, they didn't have any popes really. There'd three bishops of equal sort of power.

Speaker 3 5:26

There's only two bishops on a chessboard, so well actually there's four, but two on your side.

Speaker 4 5:31

I don't think the number of bishops on a chessboard is meant to literally represent the Catholic Church in its fullness. But then Rome had a rabbit in their pointy pope hat, which was something the others didn't have, and they weren't afraid to use it.

Speaker 3 5:44

Had a rabbit in their pointy pope hat.

Speaker 4 5:47

A metaphorical rabbit they had, yes.

Speaker 3 5:50

I wasn't saying a bit older having a rabbit under your hat, but I suppose are you trying to get to like a magician when they pull a rabbit out of the hat?

Speaker 4 5:57

Yes, they had something in there that the others didn't have.

Speaker 3 6:01

Like a cheese sandwich, or like marmalade sandwich like Paddington Bear did.

Speaker 4 6:04

Even better. Rome had Jesus' wingman, his brethren, his ride or die, the apostle Peter.

Speaker 3 6:18

I mean, look at Maverick and Goose and things like that, and Iceman and Slider, but then you got them what's his name? And Peter.

Speaker 4 6:26

What's his name and Peter? What's his name? Well will be Jesus.

Speaker 3 6:31

Oh, Jesus and Peter.

Speaker 4 6:34

According to Christian tradition, Peter somehow fell foul of the famously easygoing Emperor Nero and was crucified in Rome, and then, after he was crucified, was buried there too. But not to worry, because dying left Peter free to take on a couple of new jobs. One as a saint, and the other as the bouncer on the Pearly Gates. Yes, it's that Saint Peter!

Speaker 3 6:58

So he's dead, but he's still doing stuff.

Speaker 4 7:00

Yeah.

Speaker 3 7:02

They want their pound of flesh these people, don't they?

Speaker 4 7:04

He's the one who stands on the Pearly Gates, and when you approach, he'll say, Hello, Neil. Where do you think you're going? He'll say.

Speaker 3 7:11

He'll let me go. He'll go, Oh, lady, what, mate?

Speaker 4 7:16

Well he.

unknown 7:17

Yeah.

Speaker 3 7:18

Don't suppose you've got your Nougat in your pocket, do you? That's what he was saying.

Speaker 4 7:22

I enjoyed that one about Sergeant Stubby.

Speaker 2 7:25

Hmm.

Speaker 4 7:26

And then he'll ask people in heaven to go back and listen to it, like we should ask the listener. They're all available wherever you stream your podcasts. But what if now, while they were both down here, Jesus appointed Peter as head of the church and meant for this authority to be passed down through the bishops of Rome?

Speaker 3 7:42

Right.

Speaker 4 7:43

Now that would be a lovely bit of authority the others couldn't match, wouldn't it?

Speaker 3 7:47

It would be, yeah. But what authority did Jesus have to give Peter the authority to look was Jesus in charge of the Christian church at the back then? I don't know.

Speaker 4 7:54

Well, I think famously Jesus is in charge of the Christian Church. I mean his surname was Christ. He was Mr. Christ, Christian Church. So I don't think we've got much of an argument there now. But there may be an argument to say that who said that Jesus appointed Peter as head of the church and meant for his authority to be passed down through the bishops of Rome, because it came to pass that the Bishop of Rome was no longer just the Bishop of Rome, but the the actual Pope, the leader of the entire Catholic Church, he could excommunicate people, set religious doctrine and guide beliefs, and even tell the bishops of Alexandra and Antioch to go and do one.

Speaker 3 8:35

Or girl, let's not be sexist.

Speaker 4 8:37

Well, I don't think there's ever been a female pope.

Speaker 3 8:39

No, it would change. It's got differently.

Speaker 4 8:42

But they set him up, this Pope person, to be the head honcho. So there there was a bit of jiggery pokery going on there, I do believe, near.

Speaker 3 8:51

I'm sure there was in the Roman Catholic Church.

Speaker 4 8:54

What do we mean by excommunicate?

Speaker 3 8:56

Uh it means you take back what you said.

Speaker 4 9:00

No. Oh. You're not excommunicate that. It means to be cut off from the church. It means that you're no longer part of the church, you're excommunicated from it, which in those days was a very, very big deal. In fact, not just in those days, right up until even probably today, there are people who'd be very upset if they're excommunicated from the Catholic Church, because it means that they can no longer get into heaven.

Speaker 3 9:24

So it's a bit like a bit like the ring of trust in the Fokkers, the circle of trust in the film The Fokkers. The dad has a circle of trust, and once you're in it, you stay in it, but if once you're out of it, you can't get back in it.

Speaker 4 9:37

Okay, if that's your point of reference. Now, in a deeply religious world, divine approval mattered a lot.

Speaker 2 9:45

Did it?

Speaker 4 9:45

And now with the authority on earth established, ordained by Jesus himself, no less. And we've established who Jesus was. It meant that without leaving Rome, the Pope's blessing would bring instant legitimacy to anyone's claim for power, even if you had a sword that you can lift aloft and shout, I am the power. It wouldn't make any difference unless the Pope said you were.

Speaker 3 10:12

Really? So Hyman couldn't beat the Pope?

Speaker 4 10:14

No.

Speaker 3 10:15

Wow.

Speaker 4 10:16

No, not even in a straight fight. When Pope Leo III got to bestow his blessings on Charlemagne as Holy Roman Emperor on Christmas Day in the year 800. The endorsement didn't grant him sweeping control over all Europe, but did signal that Charlemagne had the approval of the church, and that was a huge, huge deal that put him beyond challengers and usurpers.

Speaker 3 10:43

I'm going to bespow my stuff on you with whatever name is. That's what he said, didn't he?

Speaker 4 10:48

Charlemagne. I thought you were some expert, world-renowned leading expert, right?

Speaker 3 10:53

I am, but I've never heard somebody spaffin on someone calling it on bestowing this on to you.

Speaker 4 10:58

Bow. Bestowing.

Speaker 3 11:01

Bestowing, that's it.

Speaker 4 11:02

He bestowed his blessings.

Speaker 3 11:04

Oh, that's that's that's not a pros word of saying, is that? Oh dear, I'm gonna just about to bestpow my blessings.

Speaker 4 11:12

It's not bestow. It's bestow.

Speaker 3 11:16

Whatever.

Speaker 4 11:17

As in like bestow, but with the W on the end. Now then kneel, please.

Speaker 3 11:21

Hello.

Speaker 4 11:23

This blessing was all the difference between being viewed as a big stinky imposter or a heavenly handpicked ruler.

Speaker 3 11:30

Really?

Speaker 4 11:30

And then if you made Holy Roman Emperor, you get to shoot blue lightning bolts out of your fingers. Yeah. Beneath the powerful position of a Holy Roman Emperor, you have the likes of the Dukes of Spileto and other noble families, as well as influential Roman dynasties, like the Carolingians.

Speaker 3 11:51

Talk about the Dukes of Hazard.

Speaker 4 11:54

And the Kardashians, they didn't really figure at this point in time, all violent influence by trying to control who gets to sit on the papal throne and control the Christian world.

Speaker 3 12:05

Right, okay.

Speaker 4 12:06

Which wasn't just a magazine or a periodical. It was actually the world, the Christian world, apart from the Islamic bits and the Jewish bits and the Hindu bits.

Speaker 2 12:17

Yeah.

Speaker 4 12:19

The Carolingians were once the undisputed rulers of Western Europe under Emperor Charlemagne. However, by the late ninth century, due to some good old infighting in politics and that, the dynasty was fading and struggling to keep its grip on power. Meanwhile, the Dukes of Spileto were a powerful aristocratic family in control of a region of central Italy, northeast of Rome.

Speaker 3 12:44

I suppose that's what happened to our dynasty because Dallas came along, and then obviously you got the Dukes Hazard, which was a better programme, so lots more people watched that. Is that a sort of similar way, isn't it?

Speaker 4 12:55

Again, if that's your point of reference, we'll go there. By the mid-800s, they were just good old boys, never meaning no harm, but positioning themselves as true protectors of Rome.

Speaker 3 13:05

So we did there, that was good. Hold on.

Speaker 4 13:07

That's the Dukes of Splato, you see.

Speaker 3 13:09

That was off the cuff, that wasn't it? Hold on.

Speaker 4 13:11

By the latter part of the century, they'd become serious regional players with a growing influence over the papacy. So for both families, getting the Pope on their side was everything. It gave you legitimacy, it gave you more power, it made you attractive to key allies, and it made you money. That's what I like.

Speaker 3 13:34

There you go. There's that word comes into it.

Speaker 4 13:37

So both the Carolingians and the Spolettos were constantly scheming and manoeuvring to get one over the other and installed a Pope who was sympathetic to their cause, but wouldn't so much as flush the toilet when visiting their rivals.

Speaker 3 13:53

Okay, right, fair enough. Inviting them around for dinner and that kind of stuff.

Speaker 4 13:57

Yeah, just leave it there like a rusty torpedo in the bottom of the pan until someone else had to go in. But regardless of who put you there or even who you chose to suck up to to get you there, Neil. Being Pope in the eight hundreds was not good for your health. They rattled through 'em at a fair old rate.

Speaker 3 14:16

Did they?

Speaker 4 14:17

Yes. That's why I said it. A few popes were told to stop what they were doing and just get out. Some just died.

Speaker 3 14:27

Fair enough.

Speaker 4 14:28

Some died under suspicious circumstances. And some died in not at all suspicious circumstances, because it was obvious very violent and nasty circumstances had occurred.

Speaker 3 14:39

Oh, it was a violent time, wasn't it?

Speaker 4 14:41

And all of them had the stress of navigating intense political pressures just to be allowed to keep wearing their nice robes and pointy hat. And then, shoved right into this revolving door of pontificates, came a man named Formosus.

Speaker 3 14:56

Yeah, the one with the Indian food.

Speaker 4 14:58

Yeah, he invented the Smosus.

Speaker 3 15:00

Yeah.

Speaker 4 15:01

Yes. Formosus, as you know, Neil, is a name which means handsome.

Speaker 3 15:06

Yes, I'd have told you that if you'd have asked me.

Speaker 4 15:09

He was probably a local lad and native of Rome, and he must have been born around 1816, because he was referred to as an old man of 80 when he died in 896. So you see what I did now? I did some quick mathematics.

Speaker 3 15:23

He was born in 1816, you said. So he was like backwards. You said you were born in 1816.

Speaker 4 15:31

No, eight sixteen. It didn't live in reverse.

Speaker 3 15:34

But you said eighteen sixteen. So I thought, well, has he gone back a thousand years? Cool, these religious people are good, aren't they?

Speaker 4 15:39

No, he was born in 816. And if I didn't say 1816, I do apologise, but that'll be edited out anyway. And he died in 896, so we can refer to that by my quick mathematics, which I was very proud of and give this common bobbed all over. Then he was about eighty years on.

Speaker 3 15:54

Eighty years old, well. That's good living back then, isn't it?

Speaker 4 15:58

That's what I said. Yes. Pharmosis was actually his given name at birth, not just a papal name he would adopt. That didn't come into about hundred years later, and after they passed the law meeting that you couldn't do that anymore.

Speaker 3 16:12

Well, if you're these papal names, you'd think you'd come up with something cracking, wouldn't you? Something like glitter hands or something like that, or you know, well something really sort of catchy.

Speaker 4 16:23

Pope glitter hands.

Speaker 3 16:25

Yeah.

Speaker 4 16:26

What would your Pope name be then? You're gonna have the Pope Glitter hand.

Speaker 3 16:31

Um I don't know. I think it would be um what's to call it, Steel, from what it was from that one of the f past episodes. What was that steel company? Remington Steel Remington Steel, I think that was it.

Speaker 4 16:45

Something like that.

Speaker 3 16:46

Yeah, I'd be that. Remington Steel.

Speaker 4 16:48

Pope Remington Steel.

Speaker 3 16:50

Yeah.

Speaker 4 16:51

I'd go for uh uh I'd go Pope Goes the Weasel.

Speaker 3 16:55

Mm-hmm. Yeah, so that's good. Yeah. That could go into a popular song. Pope will eat itself. Hmm.

Speaker 4 17:04

That's what I'm going for.

Speaker 3 17:06

What about a bottle of fizzy pope?

Speaker 4 17:07

No one's ever been called bottle of fizzy pope.

Speaker 3 17:10

Perhaps you should.

Speaker 4 17:10

Yes. Do you want to lick my ice pipe? Now I go with um Yeah, Pope Will Eat Itself. Now Formosus is the only Pope, Formosus. There's no first, second, thirds, and fourths. And before he got there, he had a long history within the church. Trap yourself in, 'cause we're now going to run through his church history.

Speaker 3 17:31

Can we can we talk it instead? Because I've I don't want to run today.

unknown 17:35

Oh.

Speaker 4 17:35

Okay, I'll relate it to you. He was made the Cardinal Bishop of Porto and soon built a reputation as a skilled diplomat. So he was packed off to Bulgaria as a papal legate, being an expert in all things. You would know a legate is, so if you'd like to tell the listener.

Speaker 3 17:53

It's um say if you pull a muscle in your in your lower limbs, it hurts.

Speaker 4 17:59

That's a legate.

Speaker 3 18:00

Oh right. And also uh it's something to do with legal representation.

Speaker 4 18:06

Well, that's not bad. The papal legate was you're the Pope's representative, an ambassador on behalf of the Pope, if you wish.

Speaker 2 18:15

Yeah.

Speaker 4 18:16

That's what a papal legate was. So he was sent to Bulgaria as a or he is even, he was sent to Bulgaria as a papal legate, where he did such a good job that asked Pope Nicholas I if Formosus could become their permanent bishop. And of course, Pope Nicholas said Yes. No It was against the canon law to abandon your original bishopric. You can't abandon your bishopric. And some people had started to grumble that Formosis was getting a little bit too big for his boots, like a proper Pope's pet.

Speaker 3 18:49

Right.

Speaker 4 18:50

Even though it wasn't him that had asked for anything to do with Bulgaria. And so that was that for eight years when Pope Nicholas I cut it, and the new Pope, John VIII, sent Formosus as envoy to Charles the Bold, the King of West Francia and grandson of Charlemagne.

Speaker 3 19:19

Yes.

Speaker 4 19:20

Does that ring any bells?

Speaker 3 19:22

Yeah, it does, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 4 19:24

Now, whether someone was whispering in Pope John's ear or whether he didn't trust Formosus in the first place, he began to see the still bishop of Porto as a political rival. In eight seventy-six, Pope John VIII accused Formosus of conspiring to take over the papers, abandoning his bishop prick. Again, this bishop prick.

Speaker 3 19:47

Can't do things like that without permission. Well, I suppose you have to do that without permission, because you can't don't want to ask him permission if you can bang your bishop prick, do you?

Speaker 4 19:54

Well, he had permission because he was told to go to see old Charlie Slaphead, wasn't he?

Speaker 3 20:00

Alright. Go and see old Charlie Slaphead and bang the bishop prick.

Speaker 4 20:04

Yeah. He was also accused of stirring political unrest and causing the split in the pussycat dolls. All of which were serious violations that had him excommunicated from the church, Neil.

Speaker 3 20:17

That would do. That would get it for me. I bet he had something to do with one direction as well, didn't he?

Speaker 4 20:21

Oh, I didn't say that. But John then lifted the sentence of excommunication after Formosa swore an oath never to return to Rome or serve as a priest again.

Speaker 3 20:34

Did he?

Speaker 4 20:35

He did.

Speaker 3 20:36

How do you swear an oath?

Speaker 4 20:37

Do you promise never to come back to Rome or serve as a priest again? And you say Yeah. Then Neil.

Speaker 3 20:47

Yeah.

Speaker 4 20:48

Still there.

Speaker 3 20:49

No.

Speaker 4 20:50

Hello, Neil.

Speaker 3 20:51

Come here.

Speaker 4 20:52

Then Neil. It was Pope John's turn to die, and Pope Marinus I was wheeled in.

Speaker 3 21:00

Marinus, like it.

Speaker 4 21:02

And he was famously more of a mystique kind of guy, so he didn't agree to care if the pussycat dolls and wasted no time releasing Formosus from his oath that he'd sworn upon.

Speaker 3 21:13

Fair enough. That's nice of him.

Speaker 4 21:15

Yeah. So back into the church, Formosus was all like, don't you wish a cardinal bishop was hot like me, and once again rose in popularity.

Speaker 3 21:22

Would do, especially if he did the dance routine as well.

Speaker 4 21:25

He did rather famously.

unknown 21:27

Yeah.

Speaker 3 21:27

Yeah, that'd win him over.

Speaker 4 21:29

He especially became popular with the pro Carolingian crowd. Remember them?

Speaker 3 21:36

No. No idea.

Speaker 4 21:39

I've spoken about it.

Speaker 3 21:44

Oh yes, yes, that's yeah.

Speaker 4 21:47

With the Spoleta lot controlling much of central Italy and threatening the independence of the Papal State itself for Moses' support of the Carolingians was as much about strategy as it was. It's about loyalty.

Speaker 3 22:01

Yeah, strategy's good.

Speaker 4 22:02

And his strategy when the feeling's gone and you can't go on.

Speaker 3 22:06

Yeah.

Speaker 4 22:06

Turned out to be Bob on. Because if we skip forward, Bobon strategy when the feeling's gone and you can't go on. That's what they all said all the time. That's where that phrase comes from.

Speaker 3 22:17

Is it?

Speaker 4 22:17

Yeah, when the feeling's gone and you can't go on. Because if we skip forward two popes later in 891, told you they're battled. They do, didn't they? Formosus himself was elected to the job by unanimous decision because he had all the right friends in all the right places.

Speaker 3 22:33

Is she a unanimous person? He makes a lot of decisions, doesn't he? Let me suspect. He must be a busy fellow.

Speaker 4 22:41

It's like this town of poverty. Anyway, the Roman clergy saw Formosus as experience, the nobility as a trusted diplomat, and the whole gang of Carolingians saw him as the very chap to push back against the growing influence of the Dukes of Spiletta in home.

Speaker 3 23:02

So he's our man, he's the fellow that get these guards out of the seat.

Speaker 4 23:05

And so the moment they got him all poked up and sat down in his Tutypost chair, they presented Formosus with a bit of a conundrum. Who the Dickens to endorse and eventually crown as the next Holy Roman Emperor. In the black shorts, weighing in 160 pounds, there was Lambert, who had already been crowned co-holy Roman Emperor with his father, and was a spiletto man. So he was evident spilettos. In the white shorts, weighing in 158.5 pounds, was the challenger, and Carolingian's pick, Arnulf of Corinthia. Let's get ready for Rumbo. For Moses' job was to choose between the two. Did he go with straightening the curves and flattening the hills?

Speaker 2 24:01

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 4 24:02

So I did that.

Speaker 3 24:04

Yeah, I did, yeah.

Speaker 4 24:05

And increasing the Dukes of Spileta's control of the Papal States? Or did he risk boiling their peepee and choose Arnulf to keep the papacy independent? In the end, in the year eight nine six, Formosus raised the crown of Holy Roman Emperor and placed it on the head of.

Speaker 3 24:35

No, the opposition. The opposition to the um Oh it's only two.

Speaker 4 24:38

You can't say no one then go no.

Speaker 3 24:41

No, I just thought about it. You threw it on my lap and I was like, I was a bit like a rubbing the headlights, but now I've thought about it. I'm gonna say it was the the um the 158-pounder, the white shorts.

Speaker 4 24:52

So you're going Arnulf?

Speaker 3 24:54

Yes.

Speaker 4 24:55

Are you sure?

Speaker 3 24:57

Yep.

Speaker 4 24:58

You don't want to change your mind?

Speaker 3 25:00

No. That's what I'm sticking with. I made my decision, I stick by my decisions.

Speaker 4 25:04

You stick with Arnulf, don't you? Yep. The correct answer was Yeah. Moving on. And then Formosis died.

Speaker 2 25:17

Right.

Speaker 4 25:18

It was Arnulf, wasn't it?

Speaker 2 25:20

Yes.

Speaker 4 25:21

You said you were an expert, I suppose. Oh yeah. And then Formosis went and died. It was his turn.

Speaker 2 25:28

Did he?

Speaker 4 25:28

Yeah, because he was Pope, and that's what they have to do. The Dukes of Spoletta were angrier than a tin bucket of rattlesnakes on a hot barbecue nail. In their eyes, the Pope had just humiliated their family and stole their claim to the throne.

Speaker 3 25:42

I could see that, yeah.

Speaker 4 25:45

We don't know for sure how Famosus died. Some say illness, others that he was emotionally drained, and others that he simply succumbed to being eighty in the early Middle Ages. But whatever the truth, those cunning spilettans saw their chance.

Speaker 3 26:02

Yeah.

Speaker 4 26:02

But oh no, Neil.

Speaker 3 26:04

Well, go on.

Speaker 4 26:06

Oh no. Oh no, Neil.

Speaker 3 26:09

Okay.

Speaker 4 26:10

Oh no. What? What? The Cardinals only went and elected Pope Bonnyface the Sixth, didn't they? Another Carolingian supporter. Now that wasn't supposed to happen.

Speaker 3 26:23

No, that wasn't supposed to happen, was it? We'll get a bit worried, isn't it? Yeah.

Speaker 4 26:31

You got a brown paper bag there, I'll breathe into that for a little moment if I will.

Speaker 3 26:34

I'm all right, I'm fine.

Speaker 4 26:36

You're actually okay, yeah.

Speaker 3 26:37

Yeah.

Speaker 4 26:37

Because just fifteen one five days after being sworn in, Pope Boniface took his turn at dying. It was officially gout. It was most probably the type of gout that causes your head to fall off.

Speaker 3 26:52

Oh, okay. So it's like somebody s that slipped and accidentally stabbed himself fifteen times while shaving. Yes.

Speaker 4 26:59

But officially through history, it's been recorded as gout, but they should do medicals for them before they start, shouldn't they?

Speaker 3 27:08

Let's put them on the running machine and check the blood pressure and stuff and just make sure they're all right.

Speaker 4 27:13

A heart monitor or something. Yeah. See if they're pope tastic. And so in 896 enter a new pope.

Speaker 3 27:24

Oh, go on then.

Speaker 4 27:25

Stephen the Sixth.

Speaker 3 27:28

Stephen the Sixth.

Speaker 4 27:30

Now there can't be anything wrong with him with a name like that, can there?

Speaker 3 27:33

Well the sixth.

Speaker 4 27:34

No. Stephen. But it's about it with a pH as a step pen, so that probably is a bit dodgy. He was a local favourite, a son of Rome, and the son of a priest, and he was the bishop of Anagni. And he was backed by Lambert, and he was backed by the Dukes of Spiletta, and he was chomping at the bit to deliver the revenge Lambert and the Dukes craved.

Speaker 3 27:58

Perfect man for the job then, surely.

Speaker 4 28:00

So naturally, Pope Stevie did what anyone would do in this situation.

Speaker 3 28:04

Enjoy the power. So what are you doing? No, I don't know what I'd do. I'd probably think to myself, well, let's just let the dust settle and then we'll see what we can do.

Speaker 4 28:12

Even for you it wouldn't be what he did. He had the nine month-old corpse of his predecessor's predecessor dug up from his grave, then for his next move he dressed up for Moses in his full official papal dressing up outfit and put him on trial for perjury, violation of canon law for serving as a bishop in two places, which was a bit harsh, because he was the Cardinal Bishop of Porto, but he was also then they got him on a technicality that being Pope he was also the Bishop of Rome.

Speaker 3 28:44

Sorry, Steve, but this this this Stevie, I mean it goes for the name 'cause it's a bit of a thickey. How do you think this chap's going to respond if he's been dead for so long and buried?

Speaker 4 28:54

Just you sit there and he'll keep your little white tush on your chair. They also got him for illegally becoming Pope.

Speaker 3 29:03

Where was he doing that then?

Speaker 4 29:05

Well no, but I said he was. And so in eight ninety-seven the cadaver synod began. Synod, of course, meaning Yeah, go on. Oh, you're not better tell, boys and girls. Synod, of course, meaning a trial within the church.

Speaker 3 29:23

That's it.

Speaker 4 29:23

For Moses' rotting dead corpse is propped up on a throne inside the basilica of St. John Lateran or Lateran, Oberseen Proceedings was the totally impartial court appointed judge.

Speaker 3 29:39

Rinder. Judy?

Speaker 4 29:41

Judge Dredd. No, Pope Stephen the Sixth. Hell yourselves. Well done. Well done, Stephen's For several hours straight, Stephen, who also led for the prosecution, ranted and raged at the smelly corpse, but Formosus stubbornly refused to break, remaining silent throughout. He was made as stern as stuff.

Speaker 3 30:04

That takes a lot of character.

Speaker 4 30:05

Only occasionally it was a junior deacon allowed to speak on the body's behalf, claiming some woke nonsense about being happily dead and buried for nine months until they went and dug him up. Then at last, after hours and hours of tense legal argument came the big moment. The verdict was about to be announced by the foreman of the jury. A chap by the name of Pope Stephen V. The court held its breath, reporters' pencil hovered over their notepads, and one of Formosus's eyeballs plopped out and slithered to the floor. To a collective gasp, Pope Stephen declared Formosus guilty on all charges, including a new one of making a mess on the courtroom floor. Formosus was unpoped, had the three fingers he once used to bless people cut off, and was carted off to be buried in an undignified graveyard for foreigners.

Speaker 3 31:05

I tell you what, he must have he must have felt horrible after all that. Going off all that his fingers chopped off and stuff. I feel sorry for the fellow.

Speaker 4 31:14

I don't know whether he what he doesn't record what his reaction was. Of course, this was far too lenient, that's probably what you're thinking, isn't it now?

Speaker 3 31:21

Um yeah, a little bit, but yeah. It's still moved to stay together, isn't it?

Speaker 4 31:38

I don't think it did. You imagine dragging it through the cobbled street to Rome and nothing's got mouth.

Speaker 3 31:43

Yes, walking past the dog comes home with a foot in its mouth.

Speaker 4 31:47

Yeah. That's actually an illness that affects sheep. Shouldn't make light of that. Now, Rome had survived, so that's probably where it comes from.

Speaker 3 31:57

Could be.

Speaker 4 31:58

There probably was some sheep. They found a bit of foot and a bit of mouth.

Speaker 3 32:02

A bit of mouth? Correct, yeah, that's a good idea, Steve. Well done. Nice to have.

Speaker 4 32:06

I don't think we've we've solved that, we've solved that. We'll get in touch with the Royal Veterinary Society after this.

Speaker 3 32:11

And stop dragging dead people through the streets and it'll have saved sheep.

Speaker 4 32:15

Rome had survived some pretty mad and wild emperors in its time. They watched horses being made priests and fed oats mixed with flakes of pure gold. One emperor was said to have fiddled while Rome burned. That's your hero, isn't it? And then another declared war on the sea, ordering his soldiers to stab the water. Because of this true because of this, the city and its people had a high tolerance of strange and shocking incidents, but dragging the mouldering dismembered corpse of the former Pope through the streets in front of everyone, and then bunging him into a river only after you've put his own dead body on trial, of course, it was such a horrific thing to do. Even Rome was shocked.

Speaker 3 33:04

Really? Not seeing a line of soldiers stabbing the sea. No, that was everyday stuff. Okay.

Speaker 4 33:12

Neil. Nil. Nil.

Speaker 3 33:16

Hello.

Speaker 4 33:17

That didn't even make waves. Public opinion turned against Pope Stephen, and what was supposed to look like a don't mess with us display of strength and power ended up looking like the twisted vendetta of a maniac.

Speaker 3 33:39

Um yes.

Speaker 4 33:41

On top of that, do you remember that monk who found Formosus all wet and dead on the banks of the Tiber? Do you remember him?

Speaker 2 33:50

No.

Speaker 4 33:52

Well, if you go back in your memory about three minutes, he was mentioned as finding the body on the side of the river Tiber.

Speaker 2 34:00

Right.

Speaker 4 34:01

And it's a good job he did because rumors spread that Formosus's stinky, rapidly disintegrating corpse, had been magically resurrected. Hallelujah. And it was performing miracles, a sign many believed to be divine vengeance. Riots erupted across the eternal city, and old Stevie Boy, the personal choice of Lambert and the Dukes of Spiletta, was now the singularly most hated man around. I thought I would see. Step ends.

Speaker 3 34:33

Yeah, they've done all that, and the people said, Well, actually, no, because this fella's coming back now, after being buried three times, and well, having dragged through the streets and chucked in a river, he's actually still alive.

Speaker 4 34:43

Can't keep a good man down.

Speaker 3 34:45

No.

Speaker 4 34:46

The clamour for justice was deafening, and soon Pope Stephen VI was arrested, stripped of his power, and thrown into prison, where he was later found strangled in his cell, although nobody saw nothing.

Speaker 3 34:59

Yeah, deny everything, Baldrick.

Speaker 4 35:01

It's like a ninth century Geoffrey Epstein, isn't it? On top of this, the next few popes ended up reversing everything Stephen did.

Speaker 3 35:09

I should think he's knackered now that at times he's been moved around, that fella. Today, Neil. Hello, Neil. Hello. What about today, please?

Speaker 4 35:18

Today, the cadaver synod is remembered as one of the most surreal moments in history, exposing what happens when power stops being a responsibility and becomes an obsession.

Speaker 3 35:31

Hmm. You could relate that to some people in politics now, couldn't you, really?

Speaker 4 35:35

Well, funny you should say, because it teaches us a lesson that has echoed through time. For every Pope Stephen VI, there's a bigger, more cunning and manipulative power getting away with it.

Speaker 3 35:47

Yeah, I can see that.

Speaker 4 35:49

So the Carolingians and the Dukes of Spileta, as far as we know, kind of got away with it, didn't they?

Speaker 3 35:59

It sounds like it.

Speaker 4 36:01

Sounds like it, doesn't it? Yeah. What are your thoughts there, please, Neil? How would you like to sum it up for the listener?

Speaker 3 36:09

I just think they're as mad as a box of frogs. I think just it's there's a power thing, and he's thinking, do you know what? I'm in power. I'm gonna show how powerful I'm I'm gonna dig someone up and put them on trial, even though they can't do anything about it because I'm as mad as a bottle of chips. Just a complete looney tune.

Speaker 4 36:26

So thank you, listener, for tuning in again to another episode of Honourable Mentions. And I think that was possibly the earliest one we've ever done in terms of years. No, Neil, no, no, no, no, Neil, you've got yourself confused again. No, I mean in terms of the years referenced during the podcast.

Speaker 3 36:50

I think we've beaten Oh, sorry. Sorry, yes.

Speaker 4 36:52

When we did another one, listener, you can go back and listen to, please do, was when we did our friend Elmer. Yeah, the earliest one we've probably done was in the year 10 something when we did Elmer of Marms.

Speaker 3 37:04

What about Mr. Ratzi, Gabile Ratzi? What about him?

Speaker 4 37:08

He was I mean it's a beef and so he was 1500.

Speaker 3 37:12

Okay, fair enough. And may I say, Stephen, that people can go back and listen to some of our old episodes because there are some very interesting stories in there, lots of things you can talk with your chums and have a decent conversation. Um, like for instance, two weeks ago we did one about the history of the penalty kick. It's very interesting to have that conversation with perhaps someone over a pint.

Speaker 4 37:31

Obviously, a listener can go back wherever they stream their podcasts and listen to our previous episodes. But say, Neil, pray tell, how would they manage to get in touch with us? Or how would they find us on social media?

Speaker 3 37:47

Here we go. You can contact us through email at honourable mentionspod at gmail.com. You can find us on all your downloadable objects like Spotify, TikTok, downloadable objects, YouTube and Discord. Um you can also message us through Spotify if you'd like to send us a message. Thank you very much.

Speaker 4 38:08

Sorry, I was laughing at downloadable objects. Did you say Instagram?

Speaker 3 38:12

I didn't say Instagram. And you will say you can get us on Instagram.

Speaker 4 38:15

And Reddit. We're on Reddit as well, for anyone. Andil and Reddit as well. Thank you, listener, and thank you there, Neil, for your lovely velvety tones to see us now.

Speaker 3 38:26

Thank you. Terms and distance comply. Please ask for Bill Payers' permission before sending an email.

Speaker 4 38:32

My advice, listener. Try not to become Pope in the early Middle Ages, because the life expectancy isn't all it's cracked up to be. And we will see you again next week for more exciting episodes of people through history that you probably would never have heard of until we told you about them on.

Speaker 3 38:51

That will be honourable mentions.

Speaker 1 38:54

Bye. Bye-bye.

Speaker 3 39:00

I sanded posh at the end.

Speaker 39:02

Blessings be upon you, listener. What did you make of that then? Dead bodies, courtroom drama, political shenanigans, power struggles, and fried savory turnovers from the Indian subcontinent. The story had everything except monks and dubious miracles. What? It did? Well, whatever. Talk about your money's worth. Now, don't miss out on any further episodes, listener. Please like, leave a five-star review, and subscribe now! Honorable mentions. Hilarious history is researched by Steven with a V Web and is an Uncover Brothers production. If after all that you still want more, then may I suggest you visit wherever you stream your music and listen to Pepe and the Bandits. They wrote and performed the theme tune you hear at the start of every episode. A Rabbit or Cheaper aura My Children.