Tech Trouble, Dave Goes Viral, School Nurses Are Too Powerful, And WiFiless Fun!

Tech Trouble Can't Stop Us

Twelve tries. That is not an exaggeration. This episode nearly did not happen at all, with mic failures, internet outages, and enough technical chaos to make the guys question whether the pod was cursed. But true to form, nothing stops The Carpool Guys, not even the internet itself apparently breaking on them mid-record.

Jon opens with a wild vacation story: his first trip away with his wife in 18 years of marriage, interrupted by a 2am call that a tree had fallen through their roof mid-storm, flooding the house while they were away. Thankfully his in-laws and a roofing company with an unbeatable name saved the day. He also recounts a cliff jump into a pool that Dave and Asher are determined to make sound far less heroic than Jon remembers it.

Then Dave tells one of the wildest stories this show has ever aired: a golf outing where a friend sliced a ball so badly it hit a groundskeeper in the head, followed days later by Dave going viral after calling into WFAN and discovering the trivia question being discussed on air was about him, from a contest 19 years ago. The math on that coincidence alone is worth the listen.

Asher brings a genuinely relatable rant about school and camp nurses over-diagnosing kids to get them out of the office, sparking a real debate about where the line is between caution and convenience. Plus a full and extremely honest conversation about backwash, kids' germs, drinking from their water bottles, and where everyone draws their personal hygiene line.

Also in this episode: a Hatzalah call mistaken for a celebrity motorcade, palate expander pill struggles, suppository home remedies from a father in law who was a pharmacist, an unfortunate Shabbos bathroom emergency involving a clogged toilet and a lucky pocket full of tissues, and the debate over whether Dave should have shouted out the podcast during his viral radio moment.

Happy Birthday to Jon's wife Nechama. And Happy early National Middle Child Day to Asher, who considers it the most important day of the year.

Question of the Week from Dave: It's 8pm, you have no internet, what are you doing?

🎙️ Rate and review The Carpool Guys on Apple Podcasts. Five stars please! though on this particular episode maybe three will do.

📩 carpoolguyspod@gmail.com

📱 @carpoolguyspod

🔗 linktr.ee/carpoolguyspod

0:57 — Twelve Takes In: The Craziest Tech Difficulties Ever

1:32 — Round the Horn: Jon's Vacation and the Tree on the House

9:28 — Dave Went Viral On WFAN Last Week!

11:42 — The WhatsApp Poll: Would You Laugh?

19:52 — Asher's Turn: The School Nurse Rant

23:12 — Jon's Story: The Nurse Who Questioned His Parenting Authority

28:23 — The Water Bottle Debate: Would You Drink From Your Kid's Bottle?

32:05 — Dave's Suggestion Goes Too Far Too Fast

35:50 — The Shabbos Tissue Emergency: A Clogged Toilet and a Snake Situation

39:12 — Question of the Week: No Internet at 8pm, What Do You Do?

41:12 — Happy Birthday Shoutout to Jon's Wife Nechama

41:50 — National Middle Child Day: Asher's Favorite Day of the Year

44:14 — Closing: Like, Subscribe, Join the WhatsApp Group

Please rate and review The Carpool Guys!

You can email us at carpoolguyspod@gmail.com

Follow us on Instagram @carpoolguyspod

Send us a question, a comment, birthday wish, shoutout, or anything else fun and positive, and maybe we'll feature your addition on the next episode of The Carpool Guys Podcast!

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:00

We're missing an entire part of life by only having girls, and I'm thinking I'm okay with it. But then there's no baseball games, so. Also, your name will die with you. Wow, thanks, Ash. Thank you for that.

SPEAKER_03 0:22

Hello and welcome to the Carpool Guys Podcast, where three dads just trying their best to talk about life, work, family, and all the detours in between. We've made mistakes, lots of mistakes, but we've also learned a few things along the way. We don't have it all figured out, but that's never stopped us from sharing our two cents anyway. The Carpool Guys podcast is hosted by Usher Dwaretsky, John Ackerman, and Dave from Flatbush Tenenbaum. Buckle up, it's carpool time.

SPEAKER_05 0:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 0:58

Alright, welcome back. This is like our 12th try tonight. We are suffering from the craziest tech difficulties I've ever seen. My mic blew right as we started. Our guests.

SPEAKER_02 1:09

John, I'm not here.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

No, you are here. Don't mess around with him now. This is not funny anymore. Stop messing around. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 1:17

I can't. I can't take another tech problem tonight, Dave. Oh my goodness. I mean, hey, we're right on the heels of a great episode. Our Shabbos Ground Rules episode was amazing. Huge. Fantastic feedback, and uh now nothing works.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

We broke the internet. We broke it. We broke it. John, speaking of breaking, what happened at your house? All right, I guess we're jumping in round the horn, right? Round the horn. Go right into it, John.

SPEAKER_04 1:45

Okay, so my wife and I went away for the first time without the kids. And we've been married for 18 years. This is our first time going away for more than one night. We go on vacation. We're on vacation. It was amazing. We get a FaceTime at two in the morning for my daughter. There's a leak in the roof. And we're like, oh my God. So anyway, it turns out it wasn't just a leak in the roof, a tree fell on our house and punctured the roof. And then it started raining, and the water came in through the hole in the roof. And then, you know, we're we're away, and then all of a sudden, the chaos ensues in the house. And so tree on the house, and I come back, everything's a mess in the backyard. There's a tree sitting on our house, there's a tarp on top of our house, and then just all the headaches that go. So my thank god, my mother-in-law and father-in-law live down the road, and my mother-in-law took over and called the roofer. By the way, my roofing company, this is the best name for company ever. Babe Roof. Amazing. No, what did you add?

SPEAKER_00 2:45

It's an amazing name. Best name for a roofing company ever.

SPEAKER_04 2:48

Is there a better name for a roofing company than Babe Roof?

SPEAKER_00 2:51

I don't think that's the best name.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

It's like funny that it's like a it's like a company with a list.

SPEAKER_04 2:57

It's like it has nothing to do with the roof, though. It's a company with a speech impediment. And then our Wi-Fi got knocked out.

SPEAKER_02 3:04

My dentist gives us toothbrushes. Isn't that funny?

SPEAKER_04 3:09

Can I say one thing? Our Wi-Fi got knocked out because of the tree came down knocked on the wires.

SPEAKER_00 3:15

My entire And also, by the way, that happens all the time in Uganda when the trees fall down at people's houses.

SPEAKER_04 3:20

It's just like in Uganda? Uganda. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 3:24

It's just like for the sake of the thing. I was trying to say in fancy that you're having issues. I wasn't gonna say anything.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

I was going what? Oh Uganda. It's Uganda. I was trying to say you're having a first world problem, okay?

SPEAKER_04 3:37

We couldn't do anything. The Wi-Fi's out, and my kids don't understand. They're like trying to watch TV. I told them the Wi-Fi is not working. They're like, what does that mean? I'm like, the internet doesn't work. Like, well, what does that mean? I'm like, well, the wires outside from Verizon are down, and they could not understand, but everything in my house is on Wi-Fi. Like, our lights are on Wi-Fi. So I had to, like in Uganda, press the light switches to turn them off, which is crazy.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

It must have been very hard for you.

SPEAKER_04 4:05

Very tough. It's strange how we've become so reliant on Wi-Fi for everything. And then when it goes down and nothing works, so that was that was crazy. But the vacation was amazing. I actually recorded a clip for the pod that the audio didn't come out so great. It was me jumping off a cliff. Yeah, we saw that.

SPEAKER_00 4:23

What was that?

SPEAKER_04 4:25

I I was jumping off of like a cliff into a it's like a pool, right? And I shout out carpool guys forever.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

No, no, no, no. You are not describing the clip correctly. You are on, I don't know, what was it, Dave? It was like five feet in the air that he driving jumping into a pool. What did you think, Dave?

SPEAKER_02 4:41

It was a good ten feet.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

Ten feet. His wife is sitting there. For everybody here, he's like 10 on a 10-foot cliff jumping into a pool. So I want you like a nice, it looked cool. It looked like it was like some nature thing. It didn't look like he was at a pool or something. And his wife is like, oh, you got this, John. You got what did you say? All the little kids. Mountain Creek, right? Mountain Creek, yeah. We gotta talk about Mountain Creek. No, no, no, no, no, in front of me. I'm describing this video now. Not you who was there. I'm describing it. He's standing there. Moun Creek is a great reference. Dave, we gotta talk about this. Somebody told me recently, was it you about the uh the documentary about Mountain Creek? We were talking about it. A long time ago. Anyway, so David John is standing there at the top of this cliff, and his wife is cheering him on, and she's like, You got this, John, and they're on a vacation. They haven't been on a vacation since I don't know, when did you when was the last time, John? Never. I mean, and he screams out for the carpool guys. Yeah. It's like, John, you're on a vacation with your wife. Why are you screaming out for the carpool guys?

SPEAKER_04 5:47

No, there's no vacation from there's no vacation from carpools.

SPEAKER_00 5:50

No vacation from carpool guys.

SPEAKER_04 5:52

No, no.

SPEAKER_02 5:53

So you're voting against me. I love that. I thought it was great. I thought it was great that he was giving us a shout-out. You gotta.

SPEAKER_04 5:58

You gotta do it. Gotta do it.

SPEAKER_00 6:00

At the same time, I also want to describe this the lackluster, like little limp of a jump that John jumped in.

SPEAKER_04 6:07

Oh, it was bad. I was so scared. I was so scared. These kids were. Yeah, that understands.

SPEAKER_02 6:11

Yeah, actually, I'm I'm gonna have to disagree with you. Because when you're on a when you're on a 10 foot foot cliff, let's just say, if he's close to six feet, so now you're 16 feet from from what you're doing.

SPEAKER_00 6:23

I don't know from such things. I don't know from such things close to six feet. What are you talking about? What are you talking about close to six feet? What? I'm five eight.

SPEAKER_02 6:33

Okay, so so you're five eight close to six feet. You're five eight more than the than the the ten feet.

SPEAKER_04 6:39

Than ten feet, yeah. So it's like 15. Right, right, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 6:45

Regardless, he like jumps in like he's so like terrified his own shadow. He's like, find that cargo, guys, and jump in.

SPEAKER_04 6:53

Can I tell you the best part, aside from the fact that all these little kids were going? So there was this guy there with his daughter. She was like two, two or three years old. She's wearing like water wings and you know, the thing that goes around her chest. And he's like, Don't worry, don't worry, I'm gonna jump with you. I'm gonna jump with you. And she's like, Okay, whatever. And then he just picks her up and he threw her off the edge and she landed in the water and she was fine. But the poor kid was screaming and crying afterwards, and I'm like, Yeah, what did you think was going to happen? Anyway, that's how you make tough kids, I guess. But I said to my to my wife, I turned around, it's like, oh, nothing that 20 years of therapy can't fix. Because I don't think this could be a good thing. That's for my career. Look, I should send her your way. Totally. I should send her your way. But uh anyway, Dave, what's on your mind?

SPEAKER_00 7:35

What's on Dave's mind? We all experienced this. This was like you better talk about what I hope you're gonna talk about.

SPEAKER_02 7:42

I'm gonna talk about it, but can I just say a funny moment that happened today first?

SPEAKER_04 7:46

Sure. Anything goes.

SPEAKER_02 7:49

No, that was just very funny. On the way here, I was driving, and I'm very obsessed with like motorcades and stuff. And I think funeral motorcades or like politicians.

SPEAKER_00 8:04

I actually did see the president presidential motorcades.

SPEAKER_02 8:07

I've seen I've seen presidents in motorcades. I see Obama, Clinton, I saw Trump in in Deal.

SPEAKER_00 8:13

It was very cool.

SPEAKER_02 8:13

Yeah, it's a cool thing. So I I saw it was a mini one, which could always be like a mayor or somebody, or like I obviously I wouldn't have gotten excited about this mayor, but but um I was on I was on the the Flatwish Avenue, and uh behind me was uh a mini motorcade of four uh uh SUVs 50 lights, and they then they were going. So I pulled over to the side and I saw them pull into a complex like right beside me. So I decided I'm like, yo, if this is somebody cool, I want to see it. So I waited for them to pass. There was a fifth one that came right behind them, and then I followed them in. I kept my distance to get a good look at whoever, whichever world leader this was, and it was a Hutsella call.

SPEAKER_01 9:12

Okay, it's terrible that we're laughing that it was a Hatsella call. But that is exactly that's very, very funny.

SPEAKER_00 9:20

That's hilarious. That is a very well told story. Okay, okay. Dave, last week you went viral, man.

SPEAKER_02 9:28

Last week I actually went viral. And and and with old stuff, it wasn't the carpal guys, but it was pretty cool.

SPEAKER_00 9:35

I have a phone to pick with you about that, and I will wait for a second. There is a you didn't shout us out on the radio.

SPEAKER_02 9:42

Yeah, it no, that had nothing to do with us.

SPEAKER_00 9:46

Um it doesn't matter. John is jumping off of a cliff and you can't shout us out on the radio. His last words he could have died, he could have died. His last words would have been carpal guys, and you can't shout us out on the radio when you go mega viral.

SPEAKER_02 10:03

Yeah. Um, but you don't know you're gonna go mega viral until you go mega viral. Like if if John's pants fell off, if his bathing suit fell off, and he screamed carpal guys, then carpal guys would have gone viral with his screaming and landing in the pool. In my case, I didn't know it was going viral until it went viral. Um so on Monday, I went on I went to a golf event. And during this golf event, somebody from my foresome who were not gonna call out sliced the ball so badly that he hit a groundskeeper in the head. And you heard a pop. Like it was. You heard a clunk. Oh, yeah. We heard what sounded like a tree. And I and I thought it was a tree. And I was, but then we heard it hit somebody, and I didn't know, we didn't know the impact or what had happened. So maybe it hit the tree and then hit the groundskeeper. Bottom line is I was dying of laughter.

SPEAKER_04 11:11

But he was dying. And you were dying of laughter. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 11:17

I was not laughing at the groundskeeper, I was laughing at my friend who sliced the ball so badly that he hit somebody in the head, despite them screaming 450 times and and everything in him. And and it was just it was just that friend was the perfect person, not that I wish it upon anybody, to slice the ball and hit somebody. So it was very funny.

SPEAKER_00 11:42

So I just want to pause you for a second because we did a poll in the WhatsApp group about if you saw this happen, would you laugh? And we gave a bunch of options. Yes, it's an instinct. No, I have no emotions, no, what's wrong with you? Yes, it's funny, but that someone almost died and I'm indifferent to human suffering. Most people said it was ten people of all the people said, Yes, it's an instinct. One person said, No, I have no emotions. That was Izo Swearin. Shout out to Izzo for no for being honest at least. But everybody agreed with you that they would laugh in that moment.

SPEAKER_02 12:19

Everybody laughs, everybody laughs at that situation. You don't know what's gonna end up happening, and everybody laughs. So now, fast forward to Thursday, and everybody who knows me knows I call WFAN the radio a lot. In this situation, Dave from Flatbush, exactly. That's where my name is from. In this particular situation, I purposely called the morning show because Greg Giannatti and Jerry Recco are both huge golf fans. So I called to see if I am a bad person or not. So I call up, and then you know anybody who calls nose is a little bit of a wait. And and while I'm sitting on hold, Greg Giannatti tells a story about Anne Ligori, who used to be a host on The Fan, and how he she had a book and she uh made a contest for the book, and he didn't appreciate that there was a contest. So he, as the board op, when when the winner was announced, he told her that the winner was Baba Bowie. Bobby Booy Baba Bowie is uh is a character from Howard Stern, and he thought that maybe he could get that audio for the Howard Stern show. So I am listening to this and I'm going nuts because that story was about me. I was the winner 100%. I was the winner of that contest.

SPEAKER_00 13:48

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 13:49

And when I won, they they announced me as Baba Bowie. So he picks up the phone, he goes, Dave from Flatbush, what's up? I was the next caller, and I told him that's crazy. Funny coincidence, that story is about me.

SPEAKER_04 14:02

Absolutely wild.

SPEAKER_02 14:03

And they start going nuts and they want proof. And I told them the I told them which player was that was the trivia question, and then the next segment they start talking about because I remembered. And the next question was the trivia question. This happened 19 years ago.

SPEAKER_00 14:18

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 14:19

They're telling the story right then and there, 19 years later, he's telling the story.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

Get Rebbe Crone on the phone right now.

SPEAKER_02 14:28

I I mean, I I I should really message him, and then he and then he he wanted proof, and then I tweeted a picture to him of my two books, and one of them obviously to Bob. Right. And incredible, and it it's it's absolutely mind-boggling.

SPEAKER_00 14:46

How did you have the picture? You had to find the picture, or I thought you were driving, or you went home and took it.

SPEAKER_02 14:50

No, I you know what, you know what I did? Shout out to Ruven Turgle. I was already on my way to work, but I knew he needed to see that picture. I need that, I knew that tweet had to be.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

You needed it right away.

SPEAKER_02 15:01

Right away. So I called Ruvain, a close friend, and we worked together. And I said, Rubes, can you please go to my bedroom? I have a stack of books. And I knew exactly where they were, and they're next to the house. In your house. You sent him to your house.

SPEAKER_00 15:15

By the way, I saw the picture. It's a great picture. Ruvain Turgle, you did a great job. Shout out to Rubs.

SPEAKER_02 15:21

He made the he took the best pictures of the of these books. And and and especially the the artistic ability of showing one with open and showing that there's a second one. Shout out. And I tweeted out. Could you guys guess? Unless you know, if you know, don't guess. Guess how many tweets? Because you should know that they they retweeted me the morning show, and then Greg Giannatti the next morning. How many views did my tweet see? 10,000 more.

SPEAKER_04 15:52

No, too many. I'm gonna say 3,000.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

I'm gonna say 1.2 million.

SPEAKER_02 15:59

Over 46,000 people have seen my tweet.

SPEAKER_00 16:05

You could have shouted out the carpool. But I've got the shout-out already.

SPEAKER_02 16:09

What about you? Broken record.

SPEAKER_00 16:10

I did not shout the broken record. I think that this is something that I will I'm gonna hold this as a grudge against you for a long time. Wow. All you gotta do is stick us in the tweet. You could have said, by the way, I host uh No you can't.

SPEAKER_04 16:26

You can't. Because you gotta like, you can't you can't you can't stomp on somebody else's show without them like inviting you to do that.

SPEAKER_00 16:36

Why can't you just call her?

SPEAKER_04 16:38

They're otherwise they're never gonna pick up for him again. If he's hawking his show, they'll never let him on the show again. Nobody wants to eat it. Which might might be worth it for us, but probably not for him.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

I feel I look, nobody ever takes my side in these arguments anyway. In in Radio Land, I imagine some people, or whatever, podcast land, I imagine the listeners will take my side.

SPEAKER_04 16:57

But that we'll ask, we'll ask. What do you guys think? Listeners to the show. Should Dave have mentioned the Carpool Guys podcast while he was on the phone with the fan or in his tweet when he when he showed the proof of the book, or is it inappropriate for somebody to do it?

SPEAKER_00 17:13

It's also, it's not only that, but uh, you just said when you went on vacation, I believe Dave said there's no vacation from carpool guys. I think you literally said those words. I didn't know. And in your moment of success, when you're sitting there and the guys are like praising you and saying, Oh my god, this is the craziest story ever, you forgot us.

SPEAKER_02 17:33

No, it you know, I completely disagree, and I think you're trying I think we're unintentionally overshadowing the story. But it's a great story, it's not unintentional. It's not unintentional. But the bottom line is is that is that the version of jumping off the clip was John's two-minute drive-by, and yet my moment was something that happened 19 years ago before we even thought about it.

SPEAKER_00 18:00

It is a crazy story, it's a legendary crazy story.

SPEAKER_02 18:03

And they say, and this somebody, somebody asked, not me, somebody on the comments asked Grok, what are the odds of this happening? Really? And one trillion.

unknown 18:17

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 18:18

I don't buy that. I think that's a little bit much, but that was one of the comments. Wow.

SPEAKER_04 18:23

Wow. It's a great story. That's a phenomenal story, Dave.

SPEAKER_02 18:27

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

It's also, it's not the only time you've ever called the radio, so it's not the odds have to go up a little bit, but it's a pretty good idea.

SPEAKER_02 18:34

No, I think the problem was, I'll tell you why it got messed up. They changed WFAN changed their number.

SPEAKER_00 18:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:41

They changed their number after Mike Francis already retired. So my calling has gone down tremendously, and I'm not considered a frequent caller anymore. Uh, that's unfortunate. So I I think that then I'm a newish caller, especially it was the first time I ever called that show.

SPEAKER_00 18:57

Is this the craziest? This is the craziest thing that's ever happened. Now, even crazier, which is sad because we were working on it getting Rebbe Hecht on for tonight. We're gonna have Rebbe Hecht on in the future. Rebe Hecht called me right after you were on the radio, and he said, I just heard Dave on the radio. He's like, I don't have Dave's number, but he literally called me, and we talked about how you were on the radio. I did listen to the recording of the recording of the recording of whatever, uh, because I support the carpool guys, guys, and I was listening to you and you know, enjoining in your success. Uh, but yeah, it was pretty crazy. He was listening. We wanted to get his take on it, but we were having major technical difficulties, unfortunately. But in a future episode, we'll try to get his take on it.

SPEAKER_04 19:44

Now, Asher, you're uh I'm uh Yeah, let's hear it. Usher, what's on your mind? I feel like you got something that you are really excited to tell us.

SPEAKER_00 19:52

It's not crazy, but I think it's it's worth talking about. So let's go. My son had to be picked up from camp today. He had a doctor's appointment, and Shoshi, my wife, had to pick him up. Uh she didn't have to pick him up. I was I work in camp and I wasn't able to leave early. Um, so she took him there. And she gets a call from the nurse. Now, with all due respect to everybody who works in the nurse's office in all places, they are amazing. The nurses are they always give me a lot of attention, especially with my severe hypochondriosis. But when you get a call from the nurse, they called about my other child and they said you have to pick up Gavi. He has conjunctivitis.

SPEAKER_04 20:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

Now, it is a pet peeve of mine when the nurse diagnoses your child in school. Because then I took Gavi later at six o'clock at night to the doctor so that we could get a doctor's note so that he could go to camp the next day. And they said his eye is slightly irritated. It looks like he got something in his eye. So I am a little bit frustrated with the overdiagnosing of our children by the school nurses and the camp nurses. Now, again, my tremendous respect to them. And I understand they have a tough job. Hundreds of children probably come through their office through the day, and it's not easy. Some kids are are, you know, whatever. But like when we get these calls in the middle of the day, it's very frustrating. Now, I happen to work in camp and the school where some of my children go. It's very hard because they call me literally, and I'm upstairs and like, your children are not feeling well. Can you come here? And I'm like, I have a job to do, and like it's not it's not a comfortable thing to have to go downstairs and then try to coax your child back to class. Right. But I'm curious from you guys about the nurse phone call. Again, with all due respect, it's an a very important job, a very difficult job, and they have taken great care of me. But what what are your thoughts on this?

SPEAKER_04 21:52

There's lots of difficult jobs out there. Like, I don't think that this job is necessarily more difficult than other jobs, and I think I don't want to throw them.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Under the bus, but I'm trying to throw them under the bus and I think sometimes you got to.

SPEAKER_04 22:03

I think sometimes it's earned. I think that there are good school nurses, and there are probably some school nurses who are not as good.

SPEAKER_00 22:08

I'm not, it's not about bad or good school nurse. It's that phone call from the school nurse that you're trying to dodge because you want your child there in school or camp and you do not want to pick them up. You know in your head, you deal with it, not me.

SPEAKER_04 22:22

I feel like sometimes not only they don't want to diagnose, they don't want to deal with it. The easy way out is, hey, I'm just calling the parent and like I'm getting rid of this kid because the kid doesn't feel well, and I don't want them sitting in my office. So we're gonna call the parents, and the parents are just gonna come get them and on to the next thing. When a lot of times the reality is kids fetch, and if they're a little bit sore, or if they got a little headache, or they have a little bit of whatever. That is fair. You gotta go back to class. I will tell you a funny thing that happened to me a couple years ago is that the school nurse called and got me, and it was clearly it was clear that she got me by accident, and she tells me the whole thing. And I said, Yeah, it sounds like they're fine, give them some Tylenol. If they're still in pain or still not feeling well, in like a half an hour or an hour, call me and I'll come down. But it's like I suppose.

SPEAKER_00 23:12

You are not allowed to give out Tylenol.

SPEAKER_04 23:13

So, no, that's not true. You can sign a waiver, you can sign a permission slip that says they're allowed to do it. But I say, call me back, and she says to me, Are you sure you don't want to run this by your wife first? Oh, I'm also an adult. Yeah, but you're not gonna be a good one. I'm not the doctor, like I can also be a grown-up and a parent in the conversation. And I said, Yeah, it's fine. Not only am I sure we don't have to, if you call my wife, she will be very upset that you interrupted her in the ER simply because you didn't trust me.

SPEAKER_00 23:48

Whoa, whoa. Yeah. Now you're like saying doctors are better than nurses. I don't feel comfortable with this, John. I really don't feel comfortable with that.

SPEAKER_04 23:56

I cannot comment on that one way or another. I I can't say anything. I'm gonna get in trouble no matter what I say on that. I'm gonna recuse myself from this because I will be able to do it.

SPEAKER_02 24:09

I have a different question. So, you know, sometimes they call up. Would you have rather him come home with a band-aid across his eyes?

SPEAKER_00 24:19

No. I don't think I described this phone call. My wife called me in a panic and she said they will not let him go back to his bunk because he is contagious. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 24:34

I'm just saying I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_00 24:35

I feel like all these kids are contagious. Yeah, they all are. So I listen, I I'm not I I don't mean to throw off like the nurses, but they like he's contagious. And then I went to the doctor's office and they're like, no, he does not have conjunctivitis, he had something in his eye. So it's like, come on. I understand everybody's point. You don't want the nurse to have to pick up the kid. They don't they want the kid to sit there, whatever.

SPEAKER_04 24:58

Yeah, I hear you. I I feel like it's such a weird tug-a war because on one hand, this is our this is our childcare, right? We all have to work, we all have to be there. On the other hand, they also have to work, and the poor kid is trapped in the middle. But I do feel like a lot of these school nurses, and I want to hear from people, tell us what you think about the school nurses. And if you're a school nurse, let us know what you think. Because I want to know, are we reacting the wrong way? Is it just like, no, you gotta be so careful? Because I feel like a lot of the time they're not diagnosing, they're just like, what's the fastest way to get this kid out of my hair?

SPEAKER_00 25:32

But respectfully, I don't want my child, I don't want my child home unless they're throwing up or have fever.

SPEAKER_04 25:37

Yeah, I hear it. I mean, I want to say mean either. I know it sounds kind of mean, you know, but I want my kid to be in school. I want my kid to be in camp. Um, right, like you said, if they're throwing up or have fever, you go back. But I again, I just I feel like a lot of the time they're just trying to make it efficient for them. I want them out of here. I want this kid out of my hair because it's easier.

SPEAKER_02 26:01

It drives me nuts the whole 24 hours with fever when you get home and they're like, they don't even have fever. Um, I will say I think COVID made it worse in the sense that nobody wants a major spread, and then that's what they're afraid of.

SPEAKER_04 26:16

Right. The problem is COVID proved everybody. I'll prove to like all the nurses and all the nervous moms, COVID proved everybody right.

SPEAKER_00 26:23

And now, like we haven't settled back into like what our routine was. But people go into shoe all the time and cough and cough and cough. And like it seems that started like three weeks after like COVID kind of like settled away. People started coughing and sneezing every time. It's like, dude, like, why go outside?

SPEAKER_04 26:40

You know what's funny? I was totally convinced that post-COVID, one of the things that would go away forever was the notion of blowing out candles on a birthday cake. Like, okay, all the other stuff, we came back and the masks are mostly gone. But like a birthday, you're literally blowing on the food before you give it out to people. I thought that was gonna be gone forever.

SPEAKER_00 26:59

People said handshakes they thought were gonna be gone and it's not gone. Right.

SPEAKER_04 27:04

I don't think handshakes are as bad as blowing on the food, but yeah, you're right. You're right. Fist bumps were supposed to be the wave of the future.

SPEAKER_02 27:11

Never forget. I once went to uh when I was in uh Camp Cayley for a week during the summer of COVID. And the camp wasn't open, but we had for all the programs in Oh, in in Ohio, they had well a lot of the residences came to camp for a week. Oh wow. And I was running programming there with a few people, and it was somebody's birthday, one of the individuals, and they brought out this nice cake, and I'll never forget, he goes, Oh my god. It looked good.

SPEAKER_04 27:51

That's not what you want to see.

SPEAKER_00 27:53

No, not what you want.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

I don't think you want to see that anytime.

SPEAKER_00 27:57

No, that's pretty nasty. No, exactly not. And then it puts everybody in an awkward situation. Did you eat the cake?

SPEAKER_02 28:06

I did not.

SPEAKER_00 28:07

You did not. I did not at least. Would you have eaten the cake if it wasn't COVID times? No. We were in the office the other day, and one of the people in our office, I will not name names at this point. Their children come into the office and like drink from their water bottle. I would never drink from a water bottle my kids drink from. I know that's very strange.

SPEAKER_04 28:29

No. Yeah. No, no, no, no. I think I'm with you. You're with me? I think I'm with you. I think their kids' water bottles.

SPEAKER_00 28:34

And I think it's because this person is a woman and they birthed them. And it's like, I think as a father, I don't feel that's I don't have that same connection to my children's germs.

SPEAKER_01 28:46

I do not want my children's germs. Let them have their own germs.

SPEAKER_04 28:50

No, but I see how my kids are. I'm with you. I see how my kids are. They're like slobbering.

SPEAKER_02 28:56

They're I feel Dave is on the other side of this. I am I'm not on the other side. I I w made the mistake by letting Leia, my second child, have a sip of my soda. And I saw the soda going in and back into the bottom. Oh, no! But she's trying so hard to not backwash, but I see it going back and forth.

SPEAKER_04 29:19

Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_02 29:20

She kept backwashing. So the next time I like poured it in from like a mile away.

SPEAKER_04 29:26

Did you dream it? But wait a second. But will you eat leftovers? Like if they eat half a slice of pizza.

SPEAKER_00 29:33

No, I will eat the other side of it, but I will not eat up until the point that they bit into. Dave, what about you?

SPEAKER_02 29:40

I I eat leftovers. I'm not enough to be able to do it. I'm not enough of a germophobe.

SPEAKER_00 29:46

Backwash gets me.

SPEAKER_04 29:48

That's the thing.

SPEAKER_00 29:49

What's the difference between doing backwash and bite and biting into the piece that the kid bit? No difference.

SPEAKER_04 29:54

Huge difference because biting into a piece of pizza, so you're getting some of the germs. Granted, fine. When you're drinking their spit and there's saliva, that's disgusting.

SPEAKER_00 30:05

Or all of it's either pizza in the soda. All of it's disgusting. Pizza in the soda. We should not be able to do that. See, why is it?

SPEAKER_02 30:15

I will say one thing, and I'm gonna give a tutorial for all those watching.

SPEAKER_00 30:18

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 30:19

We drink like this.

SPEAKER_04 30:23

Why is it that kids drink like a oh my god.

unknown 30:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 30:29

Dave just put his entire mouth on the bottom of it.

SPEAKER_04 30:32

Why? I I my daughter, my my daughter Talia got a palate expander recently, right? It's like setting up.

SPEAKER_00 30:38

Yeah, I heard this story already, John. I do not know what's going on.

SPEAKER_04 30:42

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 30:44

I know, but I don't understand this. Something's wrong with college.

SPEAKER_04 30:47

She takes a medication every day, and every single day.

SPEAKER_00 30:50

Medication.

SPEAKER_04 30:51

She she takes a pill. She takes like a medicine every single day.

SPEAKER_00 30:53

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:54

And every day, the pill gets stuck in the palate expander. And the same thing happened to Arun also. Yeah. So what I tried to explain to her was like, I and like this morning I helped her do it. I put the pill myself on the back of her tongue. I'm like, just drink the water like you would normally drink it, because she's good at swallowing pills, but it's getting stuck in the palate expander. So I said, just drink it normally. And when I say normally, it's like it triggered something in her brain. She's like, I'm gonna drink it like the way a seal would drink out of a bucket. And I'm just like, I don't understand. It's like she's doing weird things with her head, she's tilting forwards, like sticking her face into the cup, trying to drink. And I'm just like, don't just drink it. Drink it how you normally drink it. She's like, I crow, or I cry. She's like filling her entire mouth up with water.

SPEAKER_00 31:39

When it gets stuck, does she make this like sound because when it happens to alone? You have that also done. Dave, when he gets stuck in his fan.

SPEAKER_04 31:50

I flat out of spoon.

SPEAKER_00 31:51

Oh, I did the same thing. I used the back of a spoon to get the pill out.

SPEAKER_04 31:55

So I've been using the I I take a straw, like the short end of a straw, like with the bendy thing, and I flatten the straw, and I use that to like try to poke it through.

SPEAKER_02 32:05

You should ask the pharmacy if they could put it into a suppository.

unknown 32:11

Why?

SPEAKER_04 32:16

That went way too far too fast.

SPEAKER_00 32:21

I agree, John. Like, why is that necessary? You can't, your pills sometimes get stuck, so stick it somewhere else.

SPEAKER_04 32:29

Dave, it's the nuclear option.

SPEAKER_00 32:33

Not for Dave. Not for Dave.

SPEAKER_04 32:36

Dave's like, oh, easy next step. That's like Dave's like trying to make his microphone work. He's like, step one, take it out, plug it back in. Step two, try a suppository.

unknown 32:48

What?

SPEAKER_02 32:50

Works, works, works on tension of a young kipper. My mother-in-law gave me suppositories that she made. They were amazing.

SPEAKER_00 32:56

She made suppositories?

SPEAKER_02 32:58

She made with a friend she used to make with a law. Wait, with the father-in-law's friend, and they make what does that mean? Caffeine and Tylenol. My father-in-law was a pharmacist.

unknown 33:09

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 33:10

Okay, that helps you didn't explain that part. I thought they were just having like a suppository part.

SPEAKER_02 33:14

They used to make so I mean, and and I'm telling you, I got my morning coffee this dish above. It was excellent.

SPEAKER_00 33:20

There's a famous joke about this, but I can't remember. Family guy. Kiddish, like there's some kind of kiddish on your Gipper where they're like all suppositoring up or something.

SPEAKER_01 33:28

I can't remember what it is. No, no, there's a great family guy on it, where he goes, this coming other flavors.

SPEAKER_02 33:33

And he's like, You're not eating it, Peter, are you? No, sticking it up my butt. You know? Of course I'm eating it.

SPEAKER_04 33:42

Oh my god. I don't think there's a lot.

SPEAKER_00 33:45

I would never. I'm not in that. I've never gotten that place. Plus, I'm not a fan of these pre-fast pills. One time I did it before Yom Kippur, I felt so weird the entire Yom Kipper. It was terrible. I hated it.

SPEAKER_04 33:58

Are you sure you had the right pill and not something else?

SPEAKER_00 34:00

Nobody told me I think I took either an ibuprofen or a caffeine one. No, I did not. I've never ever had drugs. No one ever offered it to me. It's very sad. It's a very sad thing in my life. Not that I have never, it's not that I had never did it. It's that no one ever offered it to me. I'm so pathetic that no one ever wanted to offer it to me. It's not pathetic. It's a good thing.

SPEAKER_04 34:22

On the note of Asher being too nerdy to ever have been offered drugs, please don't forget to like and subscribe to the Carpool Guys podcast. You can follow us on Apple Podcasts, on Spotify, Amazon Music, follow us on Instagram at Carpool.

SPEAKER_00 34:35

No, but by the way, Aaron says that in camp, one of the division heads used to come in at night to give out their medications, and he would go, drugs, drugs, and the kids go, drugs. That was how they gave out their medication at night. Oh my god. Can I tell a great story? So on Shabbos morning, Gavi decided, my youngest decided to destroy a um a box of tissues. He tore the entire thing open, ripped it up, and there's like tissues everywhere. So I'm like leaving for sure, and I don't know, my nose was like a little scratchy, so I grabbed a whole bunch of tissues, I put in my pocket. Then later in the day, Gavi stuck a cup in the toilet upstairs. And my wife accidentally flushed it, not knowing that the toilet was there and clogged the toilet. Nobody's fault. Now, this was not a simple plunge, this was a snake situation, and I happened to passkin you can't snake on Shabbos, which is a whole different story. It's a little bit more complicated. So now the toilet upstairs is at- If you use your finger, you can. I was not using my finger. So I went to the basement bathroom. And I'm sitting there before Mintcha. I went to the basement bathroom. Guess what? No tissues in the basement bathroom. I'm stuck. And now am I stuck? But the kids there are kids in my house. There is there is a kid in my house upstairs at a play date, so I can't just like run upstairs now to do my business. There were tissues in my pocket from the morning from my scratchy nose, and I was saved.

SPEAKER_04 36:16

It's a beautiful story.

SPEAKER_00 36:17

So, Dave, your story. I think we should be calling Rabbi Rabbi Crone. We have two.

SPEAKER_02 36:21

That's a very vulnerable place in life when you have no more tissues. Do you have any tissues? Could you be sort of me a few? That's the signful episode. You can't sort of square.

SPEAKER_00 36:33

Is that worse, or when you scream out there's no towels in the bathroom?

SPEAKER_02 36:38

What to your to your family?

SPEAKER_00 36:40

Yeah. Oh, because your family doesn't matter. Or if you're at your in-laws' house for Shabbos or something, and there's no uh John doesn't do this because John's in-laws live down the block from him. But when you used to we used to go to my in laws, we go to my in-laws in New Jersey, and if there's no towels upstairs and you have already showered, that's a pretty vulnerable place to be.

SPEAKER_02 37:01

Or even when you're in a stall and somebody knocks and says, I'm in here.

SPEAKER_00 37:06

What about when you're a kid and you're playing hide and go seek in the shul, and the shul is a house, and you barge in on the bathroom and say, I knew you were in here, but it was really a man sitting on the bathroom.

SPEAKER_05 37:21

That happened to you.

SPEAKER_01 37:22

That happened to me. I know you're storing. No, mine was different. And we bar I barged into the bathroom, and the guy was sitting there because the for whatever reason that door didn't lock well. Nebuk for that guy, I could never look in the face ever.

SPEAKER_02 37:39

Mine was different. Mine was I crawled under the stall of God. And I'm sitting there, and I'll never forget. I still have his face in my in my in my engraved in my head. I look up and I see this guy with his underwear at his ankles, and he's like, and he starts kicking me. He's like, get out of here, you little pervert!

SPEAKER_01 38:00

I would also kick you. No kidding. What movie is that from?

SPEAKER_00 38:03

Is that from that's from uh Home Alone?

SPEAKER_02 38:05

Well, that's from the youngest earl of Bedford Bay when little Tanne Bell becomes the what's let's get out of here, you little little pervert.

SPEAKER_00 38:12

That's from Do you feel like it's little is it little rascals?

SPEAKER_04 38:14

No.

SPEAKER_00 38:15

It's not, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_04 38:17

Dave.

SPEAKER_00 38:18

Alright, we've we've really got to be.

SPEAKER_04 38:19

Please tell us you've got a question of the week to take us home because I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 38:23

So, in the spirit of all the technical difficulties, the question is as follows. It's eight o'clock, and you go home, and you got no internet. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_04 38:38

Yeah, this is my whole week this week. That's a great question.

SPEAKER_00 38:42

That's actually a great question. Last week I had a major problem with your question. That's a great question. I do not want to go first.

SPEAKER_04 38:51

So so we're talking about like it's at night. So it's not like go outside.

SPEAKER_00 38:56

And you can't say it's Chavez. It's not and it's not Chavez.

SPEAKER_02 38:59

And you keep looking at your phone and it keeps uh doing the buffering, nothing's working. You got no internet tonight. What are you doing? Keep it PG.

SPEAKER_04 39:12

I I mean, I'll tell you, I I have a great book from from vacation. I'm gonna read. I love reading. Um, that's it's so boring. I can't use it as my answer. That was your answer.

SPEAKER_00 39:24

No, you are boring man now. We told stories about bathrooms for the last 20 minutes.

SPEAKER_01 39:29

You are boring.

SPEAKER_04 39:30

The fact is, I'm probably eating, but I'm probably I'm probably reading, but I'm probably eating. I'm probably like reading and eating, and I'm probably snacking uncontrollably because that's like what I'm gonna do.

SPEAKER_00 39:41

But the reality is I think that's a night where I end up going to sleep early.

SPEAKER_04 39:45

I don't think I can go to sleep early. I think if I'm waiting for the internet to maybe come back, I can't go to sleep.

SPEAKER_00 39:51

I will say this. It's kind of like La Havda Alpha Dallas, it's kind of like Tishab of Night. I can't go on my phone because I'm like, it's not appropriate. Oh. And I end up and I end up going to sleep early.

SPEAKER_04 40:01

I go to sleep. Nahama will be like, hey, let's watch like a really super meaningful video, and I'm already sleeping. Yeah, I'm out.

SPEAKER_02 40:08

So I might it depends how long my problem is. I I would probably if I had like John's situation, I would probably do a puzzle.

SPEAKER_00 40:16

You would do a puzzle. That's a good call.

SPEAKER_02 40:21

Are you alone in this scenario? Even if my wife wants to do a puzzle with me or the whole family, I'm happy doing it.

SPEAKER_00 40:28

I can't do but but like your youngest, she doesn't like destroy your stuff when you're doing it. When we're doing something like that, Gaviria. Okay, that's fair, but like if I'm playing chess with the boys, Gavi will try to destroy the chess board.

SPEAKER_04 40:43

No, we don't I don't have that. I like the puzzle idea. You have girls. Yeah. We're missing an entire part of life by only having girls, and I'm thinking I'm okay with it. But then there's no baseball game, so also your name will die with you. Wow, thanks, Ash. Thank you for that.

SPEAKER_02 41:04

Can I be the good guy in the room? Yes.

SPEAKER_04 41:12

Oh, I yes. I do. I absolutely do. I would love to give it a shout, though it's not gonna be her birthday when she when she hears this, if she hears this. Happy birthday to my wife, Nakama. Today is her birthday. Today? But well, today, August 3rd. So for those listening, feel free. It'll be a few days later, but you can totally text Nakama and uh give me a short time.

SPEAKER_00 41:34

Should we call her? We should call her.

SPEAKER_04 41:35

No, she's sleeping. She is way sleeping. She had an early shift and uh she's out. But um it is her birthday, so everybody listening, you can text her and uh wish her happy birthday. Even though it'll be like a few days ago.

SPEAKER_00 41:50

By the way, next week, August 12th, is National Middle Child Day. It is my favorite day of the year. It is very it's also Moshe Davis's birthday, my brother-in-law, but it's also the most important day of the year. National Middle Child Day.

SPEAKER_04 42:06

Is it like it's your favorite day of the year that like it's pointing it out that you guys all have this like we have a complex? Neuroses?

SPEAKER_00 42:13

It's not neuroses, it's a complex. So that makes you happy? It's important that there's a day that recognizes us. And it's a real I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 42:24

Like, I feel like I had a brain tumor one time, I wouldn't be like, hey, brain tumor awareness day is my favorite day of the year. That's like a weird.

SPEAKER_00 42:31

Is there a brain tumor awareness day?

SPEAKER_04 42:33

I don't you know what? I'm gonna look it up right now. We gotta look it up right now. Online production meeting is there.

SPEAKER_02 42:39

Okay, why don't you answer your question in the meantime?

SPEAKER_00 42:42

I'm saying, by the way, if it depends what time of night. If it's later at night already, like 9 30, 10 o'clock, maybe I'll try to go to sleep. Hey, I guess I would have to like figure something out. Maybe I would play a game uh like a game with my wife. I would try. I think that's what I would try to do. But we would probably end up going to sleep early. Hey, do you know there's a national hemorrhoid awareness day? June 8th?

SPEAKER_04 43:02

June 8th is world. Did you say National Hemorrhoid Awareness Day?

SPEAKER_02 43:06

October 19th is National Hemorrhoid Awareness Day.

SPEAKER_01 43:11

Okay, we're doing a podcast on that day. Every day, every day is hemorrhoid awareness.

SPEAKER_02 43:17

Yes, it's like Mother's Day. Every day is hemorrhoid awareness day. Every day is National Hemorried Evidence Day.

SPEAKER_04 43:26

Oh my god. Okay. June 8th is World Brain Tumor Day. So I'm just throwing that out there. I don't not celebrating. I'm not like, that's a happy day. That's weird. You're weird, Asher. That's what I'm saying. Milking it. I'm milking that, but you're not milking middle child awareness. Middle child!

SPEAKER_00 43:46

I've been a middle child since my sister was born. 30 who knows how many years ago.

SPEAKER_04 43:52

All right. Dave, I would say thank you, but I'm not sure you did any of us any favors with uh question of the week. You you pushed us even further off the cliff there. The cliff that so maybe you should scream to the carpal guys. I should scream to the carpal guys. All right, guys, this is great. Everybody don't forget to listen. You can follow us. Please give us a five-star review. You can listen to us.

SPEAKER_00 44:14

On this particular episode, I don't think they have to go for it.

SPEAKER_04 44:17

At least a three-star review. Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcast. You can join our WhatsApp group. You can message us on Instagram, send us an email, carpalguyspod at gmail.com if you'd like to join our WhatsApp group, be part of the polls, and bounce topics and other fun stuff with us. And we give out prizes. And we give out prizes, as Ashley said. I'm losing my voice. I think we're losing the pod. So this is probably a good time for us to uh stay in it. Everybody thank you for listening, and we'll catch you next time.