The Rise of the Side Chick Era… And Nobody’s Hiding It

Is this the new normal in dating… or have the rules completely changed?

Tonight’s conversation gets real. More people are openly dating married partners—and they’re not hiding it anymore. From vacations to public posts, the question is no longer if it’s happening… it’s why.

So we’re asking:

When did “married” stop meaning off limits?
🎙 Hosted by Tonya Wilder
🎤 Featuring Don of All Dons (Dondi)
🧠 Special Guest: Dr. Kathrine Washington Williams

🔥 In this episode:
• Are people becoming more comfortable being the side piece publicly?
• Has social media normalized cheating?
• Has marriage lost its value in modern dating?
• Who is really to blame—the married partner or the outsider?
• Are we moving toward more open relationships?

💬 Join the conversation LIVE and drop your thoughts:
Would you ever knowingly date someone who is marri ed?
And if the spouse knows… is it still cheating?

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:44

Hello, and welcome everybody to The Truth Ain't in Us. I'm Tanya Wilder, your host. And tonight we have a great show set up for you guys tonight. The topic for tonight is the new well is the new relationship trend dating someone else's spouse. And we're going to get into that and what that really means tonight. Okay. But before we go any further, um I have a guest host that's joining us tonight. Uh Don D. He's running a little late. Oh, well, there he is. I'm not right on time. Oh my God. You're right on time. You're right about that. All right. Well, I was saying we have a great show tonight. Thought you were running a little bit behind a little bit behind, but that's okay. Um, the dawn of all dawns is here. And I'm also going to bring another guest host that's joining us tonight from last week from Hill of Justice. Want to welcome to the show as well, Mr. Jerome Hill. Hello, hello, hello. Mr. Jerome. What's up, buddy?

SPEAKER_00 2:06

No much. How's everyone doing?

SPEAKER_03 2:08

Oh, doing lovely tonight. Doing lovely. What about you, gentlemen? Everybody's how was y'all workday today?

SPEAKER_00 2:18

Interesting.

SPEAKER_03 2:21

Same here. Like what? You guys had to fight traffic today.

SPEAKER_00 2:25

Did we? Like good old Miami traffic.

SPEAKER_03 2:30

Yes. Well, I I want to first uh welcome Truth Nation. And if you're here for the first time uh watching us, please like and subscribe uh to the Truth Thing in Us and hit the notification button. And also share uh the link as well. Share the show um with your friends and your families uh as well. But uh we have a great show lined up tonight. And I don't know about you guys. Um we're here in Atlanta, Don D and I and Jerome. You're in uh what Fort Lauderdale?

SPEAKER_00 3:08

Correct.

SPEAKER_03 3:09

And you guys have bad traffic there as well?

SPEAKER_00 3:12

We do, we do.

SPEAKER_03 3:14

Is it as bad as Atlanta?

SPEAKER_00 3:17

Um maybe even worse so.

SPEAKER_03 3:20

I I doubt that. I doubt that.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

Well, Justin. How our state is set up, uh, we don't have much real estate. You guys got much more real estate than we do. It's a peninsula, it's like a small penis just hanging out.

SPEAKER_03 3:34

Yeah, but we have traffic here. Like when I first moved here, you could guarantee traffic to start around five o'clock, right? Here it starts in the morning and it lasts all freaking day. Okay, and it could be 10, 11 o'clock at night and you're still in traffic. Am I right, Don D? That's a fact. Yeah, we don't get a break around here.

SPEAKER_00 4:01

I see.

SPEAKER_03 4:02

Yes, yes, yes. So we have a great lineup for for tonight's show. Any interesting um things that happened to you guys over the weekend? Nothing you bought, nobody wants to share? I'll share something.

SPEAKER_02 4:17

Yes. Well, I went to go see my grandma, dear, and you know, she's she's very sane, she's very, you know, got it all together. She's 87 years old. Good. And I go to the we need to really look out for, you know, um, the older generation just for the simple fact that these people are not doing not doing well in these homes, you know. So I went and I went to visit her, and you know, and it just looked like everybody was out of it except her because she had a visitor. Everybody else is like this, you know. So I don't know what they're feeding them at these places or what they're giving them, but I didn't really like it. So I gotta get my grandmama up out of there. So oh she is she in a nursing home? Yeah, she's but it's like rehab, but you know, okay, yeah, she's on her way out, but she should they got an ankle bracelet on her, like she's in jail, like she's with a gun. It's it's terrible. I don't like it at all.

SPEAKER_03 5:08

We need to so before she went there for rehab, was she living on her own or living with a family member?

SPEAKER_02 5:15

Well, she was living on her own, and then my aunt, um, she basically took her in, you know, um, gave her like a one-story type thing, and then you know, she kind of fell, so she had to go get rehab. So, and you know, I just think that they're not getting the love, tender, the love and tender care at these places, you know, that they should.

SPEAKER_03 5:39

Yeah, we definitely do need to look out for our elderly um people, and I think, you know, as we get older and up in age, I've already had I have a plan for myself, and I am definitely gonna start exercising, making sure I drink some insure at least once a day and exercise, exercise, exercise, because you always hear about the elderly falling, and then that be their demise right there. A fall just takes them out, and then they just start to deteriorate after that. So definitely we gotta get grandma back in shape, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:23

And then the insurance companies they want all the money now, you know. The keeper there. So it's a lot going on. It's a lot, it's a lot. I can't stand the insurance companies. It's a lot, but that's what I dealt with. But I I was uh I love to see my grandma there. Um, it was awesome, you know. She's doing great, you know. So, you know, it it it did something for my heart. So that's awesome.

SPEAKER_03 6:44

Well, I don't know about well, this past Monday, uh the Knicks played the Hawks, and that game was fire, okay? It was fire from this from the beginning until the end. Without a New York killer, Trey Young. Uh listen, I'm gonna say this, and I'm not gonna take it back. They are better without Trey. The team is better without Trey. And I'm not, don't get me to talk sports because I'm not a sports um person like, but from what I've seen, the Hawks are much better without him, you know? So that's my take on it. I don't know about you guys. Are y'all like sports fanatics or what?

SPEAKER_00 7:38

I am, I am. I'm a big uh Pittsburgh Steelers fan and uh NFL fan. And uh, but I I watch sports all throughout.

SPEAKER_03 7:47

Um so did you watch that game?

SPEAKER_00 7:49

Did you see I did not see that, but you are correct. The Hawks seem to be better without with Trey, without Trey.

SPEAKER_05 7:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

Um you know they're they're they're in a respectable standings right now. They're probably like six or um in uh standings right now. Um, so they'll play up number three seed in the NBA playoffs coming up, which would probably be the New York Knicks. So that's gonna be the series as of right now, uh, if everything stands put at.

SPEAKER_03 8:24

Yeah, what I don't know what happened to Jerome. Okay. Yeah, well I again, I don't talk sports because I'm not I usually go to the game and I'm just watching. That's all. But yeah, I did enjoy the game. It the game was on fire from the start to the end. Um, the you know, the the Hawks fans, uh they really turn up uh during the games, and the New York people turned up too. So it was a great game. All love, all is good in love, love and war. Okay, so we're gonna keep the show going here, and we're gonna go ahead and get started with hot topics because we do have a lot to talk about um when it comes to the hot topics tonight. And we're gonna show a clip. Uh, I know everybody's talking about um uh offset being shot uh at the casino. So let's go ahead, yeah. So let's go ahead and show a little clip of that and talk gun violence here in the casino in Hard Rock. Okay, was that the whole clip? Okay laid it out, man. I know it's not funny, that's all enough, but I want to know what you guys think about offset because from what I'm seeing right now, offset has definitely dropped the bag, and he is to me, he's lost it all. He's at the bottom right now, lost his wife, lost his family, and I don't know how you fumble the ball like that just for some sex because he had it all and lost it over some ass. Okay, so let's talk about it, guys. Let's get into it. What's your take on it, Jerome?

SPEAKER_00 10:42

Well, you know, you you have a person who is um famous, uh moderately successful in the culture. I guess he would be successful, but you know, you're you're you're only as successful as the things that you're able to attain. And what he's obtained so far was just notoriety and certainly um uh nothing much more after that. You know, you're you can probably hang he could probably hang his hand hat on, maybe trying to reproduce what he's had before. But you know, as you said, he lost everything, and quite truthfully, which which is so sad for individuals of his age and in this culture, is they don't really know how to really grow their their particular successes. And uh and it comes down to the slippery slope thereafter, where he feels as though that you know, um, you know, he'll be okay, he'll be able to get back on top, he'll be able to go ahead and do this and this and that. And you come to find out with age and with timing and the passage of what the culture does all the time, the new and best thing, your time is now gone. And trying to recapture what you had once before is one either not that easy or it it never happens. So um, these are some ignorant um lessons, but more importantly, I think the discussion really has to be how you know in the culture, how over-aggressive uh folks are and how they treat one another and how they devalue life. And he's lucky he hasn't lost his life over something dumb and pathetically um unimportant.

SPEAKER_03 12:40

Yeah, yeah. And and Dondi, do you think that offset has fumbled the ball when it came to his marriage? Having it and having it all?

SPEAKER_02 12:54

Um, no, I don't think I don't think he fumbled the ball. I think offset is just has a gambling problem, which you know that's he's calling around asking for a lot of money. And I don't know how you allegedly, allegedly, I don't know how you would feel if somebody owed you ten thousand dollars and then you seen him and then said get it back in blood, you know. So that's kind of what happened, right? Um now offset as in fumbling with his family. Of course, any man, any marriage, let me let me retrack what I just said. Any marriage, any man that loses his marriage, you know, um with three kids, you know, it definitely fumbled the bag, regardless of whose fault it was. You know, I don't think it was 100% offset's fault. I think Cardi B knew exactly who offset was when she met him. You know, I knew she knew that he's a womanizer, he likes to be with a lot of a lot of women. I think Cardi B likes them type of women. Um, look at Diggs, he's the same way, right? Um, if you I if you go back and there's a clip of him going around asking the team, hey, um, who would you not want to date your sister? And everybody was like, digs, digs, digs, you see what I'm saying? So she likes these type of men. So I don't think they're I don't think offset could have really done anything if to keep his family unless he would have accepted a lot of the stuff that Cardi B was doing that he wouldn't, any man wouldn't just accept.

SPEAKER_03 14:25

So that's why so he cheated on his wife multiple times, she forgave him multiple times.

SPEAKER_02 14:36

How you know she didn't cheat?

SPEAKER_03 14:37

And and well, we knew when she cheated, she didn't uh she didn't cheat at first. So she cheated okay at first, and no, she did not, and we don't even know about the times that he cheated, and she didn't talk about it. So he is a cheater, and he fumbled the ball, he fumbled the bag, he fumbled his marriage, his relationship, everything just for sex. Where are these women now? What are they doing? What could they do for they couldn't do for him then and they can't do for him now? At the end of the day, and I'm not saying because Cardi has money, you know, that he shouldn't have cheated, regardless the money or not, he should have been faithful to his wife. He has a beautiful family or had a beautiful family, had a beautiful family. I don't think I don't think they're gonna ever get back together. They're both of them are yeah, they will. Because I think Cardi thought that she could probably change him, and a lot of women think that when they get in a relationship, that they can change a man or uh or a person. I'm just gonna say of you know, change you can't change anybody in a relationship. People have to want to change, have to want to grow, they have to see them, you know, recognize their faults before they're even willing to change. And I don't think offset is even in that mindset. How old is he? What about 31, 32? Yeah, so and he's still, you know, you men, y'all won't mature until you're probably about fifty 50 years old. What'd you think about that, Jo?

SPEAKER_00 16:25

You know, so I mean, I mean, I I I I I get it.

SPEAKER_03 16:32

And some of y'all don't even mature then, you know. So hey.

SPEAKER_02 16:37

I I I think Cardi B just in in and I think she just in her eyes, she just leveled up when she went to Stephon Diggs just because she has her own money. I I get that. She has her own money, she has more money than he did. She's split look, she's splitting that money with 15 other people throughout her label, throughout every all that other stuff. Stephon Diggs' money is Stephon Diggs.

SPEAKER_03 17:01

No, no, no, no. Cardi hat makes money outside of music as well. She's in a 360 deal. Okay, but she still makes money. She she now has uh a hair care line. She also has a lot of um what do you call it? Um things when you when they sign you to these deals. Um help me out here.

SPEAKER_02 17:31

Well, in sports called NIL deals, name, image, and likeness deals. What NILs. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 17:39

Well, she has a lot of deals outside of the music industry, ambassador deals. She has a lot of those. So she's making money outside of the music, okay? And she makes way more than Stefan digs make. And hold on, Stefan has how many children? I don't know. Eight or nine children. Let's add that up. Let's start adding that up. Well, the scholars make the best decisions, okay. Why are you on Cardi's ass?

SPEAKER_02 18:06

Why are you ones? I want all set to get better. He just got she just got shot. I don't want to kick a man while he's down.

SPEAKER_03 18:12

Get better, I'll set needs to change his ways, okay, and stop being a cheater. A woman. You gotta stop gambling and cheating, yeah. Yeah, he needs to stop being a womanizer at the end of the day, okay. And I can agree with that. And someone here, someone uh who's this at 3117 OB Way, right now there are matched up again. The oh, the calves. Okay, that's somebody talking about uh basketball. That's what people want to talk about. Sports. Oh, please. We're gonna keep this, we're gonna keep this show going.

unknown 18:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 18:51

We're gonna keep the show going. And our next topic here, I'm gonna go ahead before I even talk about this next topic. We just gonna play the video because it's just too much. Let's roll this video.

SPEAKER_00 19:09

That right there is why you're gonna go to jail. You don't have to talk to me like that.

SPEAKER_02 19:14

I'm not gonna do it areas.

SPEAKER_03 19:36

Okay That's a lot right there. That had me fake. That's not fake, that's no, and that's the chief of police in Arkansas. And this is a job opening. Yes, he needs to be fired immediately. Immediately. Like I I I just can't even wrap my head around this. And this is what we talked about last week about um these cops having too much authority, and and I have a question for you, Jerome, because you were you're a retired um officer, right? Of the law. Why is it that officers sit back and condone other officers' bad behavior? Why are they not checking their fellow officers right there on the spot when they're when they're breaking the law?

SPEAKER_00 20:39

Well, let's go back to what you said that officers have too much authority. The authority isn't in question, it's how they use their authority, is the problem. So the authority isn't the problem. Well, more to your question, this direct question is why don't other officers check other officers?

SPEAKER_03 20:58

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 20:59

You know, they feel as though that they would go ahead and break the brotherhood.

SPEAKER_03 21:06

Um, they feel as though is that if I want to say fuck the brotherhood right now, but go, you know, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:13

You know, and we're being real general about this. Many do have no illusions, many do. But for the sensational stories that come out where you see other officers not doing it, it puts a stain on all of them. I did see the video. What I really questioned was the mayor. The mayor called for an investigation, and he has the power, him and the city solicitor or the county solicitor, to go ahead and end that relationship right then and there. I'm at odds at why he didn't do that right away. I I don't think I need an investigation because here you have the the chief law enforcement officer of your city. Um, even if he was now there was a tug duck. And the people around him, he doesn't even have the emotional intelligence to know. Let's just say the guy spit on him, that he couldn't go ahead and take a step back and be able to handle the situation. He let his emotions get ahead of him. That's not somebody who I want ahead of my organization. He should have been fired right there on the spot once the mayor found out about it. And the city solicitor should have been sending him a letter, not for a resignation, but for a termination. That's what's odd about these little rinky dink places in Arkansas and so on and so forth. And they don't have a spine. The mayors do work close with these authorities in terms of uh, you know, the chief and so on and so forth, but you have to be autonomous from each one of those and understand what your job is as a mayor and what the chief's job is, and that wasn't congruent to what it needs to be in terms of law enforcement and citizenry. So uh I don't understand that video at all. I don't understand why the mayor is just saying we need an investigation. You can fire him and still have an investigation, it's not going to go ahead and agreed and change that dynamic.

SPEAKER_03 23:17

You hit a citizen out of emotions, and someone in a wheelchair who can't even defend himself.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

That's what makes it odd, even more odd. You know, so you know, it's just dumb, just super dumb.

SPEAKER_03 23:31

And I have yet to see a cop def, you know, check another cop.

SPEAKER_00 23:38

You see it all the time on video.

SPEAKER_03 23:41

Have you, John De?

SPEAKER_00 23:42

I've seen it all the time.

SPEAKER_02 23:44

I I I've seen it a lot of the times. Yeah, I've seen another cop check another cop. Yeah, I've never seen it, but but that like I said last week, I think this is psychological evaluations every Friday for police outfit with the sheriffs. Like it's simple as that, you know. You know, just because somebody is talking to you or whatever they're saying, it's freedom speech, you know, he they can say whatever they want. And for you to slap somebody in the wheelchair, that shows how weak you are, that shows how little of a man you are, and why you shouldn't, and how you are hiding behind that badge.

SPEAKER_03 24:22

And it's always a man. We don't see that with the female cops, it's always a man whose ego is bruised at the end of the day, and they wind up losing it. Why is that?

SPEAKER_02 24:38

Because like I said last week, is that it's not like the because they're going around looking for a problem, they're going around, you know, making somebody else's problem theirs instead of policing the problem. You know, I think that they're you know, they're inserting their self and their beliefs into what they see and what they're experiencing in the moments, you know, instead of policing, policing and being um without a counselor in that moment to whatever do whatever it takes to to diffuse with the situation. And that brings somebody in the wheelchair is not diffusing the situation. That man in a wheelchair needs to get paid uh a couple million for that from the city.

SPEAKER_03 25:20

And then it brings me to uh you know the the question of a lot of these uh police officers being out of shape. Like I was in the mall the other day, and I'm just looking at the the uh the officer that's there, like, how's he gonna catch someone?

SPEAKER_01 25:39

He's out of shape, and like that's what he's gonna say.

SPEAKER_03 25:49

Like, shouldn't there be some type of protocol for weight? And I and again, I don't want to discriminate, but don't they need to be in shape?

SPEAKER_00 26:02

Once you're on the force, after it, and it depends on what units you're in, it depends on the you know, the chief, it depends on the sheriff, it depends on the location where you're at, is they might set up some fitness um protocols, um, but not always. Um you know, you got a lot of, and when you get older, obviously they don't expect to have the same type of level of fitness as maybe a 21-year-old if you're you know in your 40s or 50s. Um but getting back to that video, um, even if the mayor didn't go ahead and fire him, um, there should be um a state's attorney or a district attorney bringing up charges against him um for assault. And that's you know, they'll go ahead and say, well, there needs to be an investigation. Sure, there needs to be an investigation, but you the I'm sure that they can go up to the gentleman, ask him what happened, and there were many other people who saw it unprovoked. Yes, it can easily go ahead and and and charge him. I don't know if that's the case because we don't uh I don't know if that was there's more to that story than that. Um, but he should have been charged for forsault.

SPEAKER_02 27:19

I've been assaulted by a police officer before, and um kind of in the same way, but the police officer kind of threw some jabs, and we threw a couple jabs back and forth, and um lucky you're not dead. That's and I know, and but the thing is when I went to go get my lawyer and I went to a prominent lawyer, and the lawyer told me, and this is what they might just say to the guy in the wheelchair as well. The lawyer told me, It'd be better for me to take your case if you would have died. You see what I'm saying? So, you know, which is crazy, but you know, that's the that's just where we're at with it, and he really meant it. Like, if you would have died, I would have had a better case for you. But since you're alive, that's sad. That's that's sad.

SPEAKER_03 28:03

He's an ambulance.

SPEAKER_00 28:05

That seems to be that that incident that you're talking about. Just want to go ahead and let you know the chief resigned after that. Um, okay. I don't think that that's the the outcome that I would have wanted.

SPEAKER_03 28:17

Um the next county over, right? Not only that, I was gonna say before Don D said that he hadn't been arrested, I was gonna say I wasn't arrested. They let me go well that you got into a fight with the cops. Or okay. Well, no, they assaulted me. Same thing. You said you think this okay. But um, I was going to I was actually going to say, you know, maybe they didn't fire him fire him because they wanted him to resign so he can keep his pension.

SPEAKER_00 28:49

Well, yeah, I mean, that that'll be part of what will happen. Um, but to get back to uh what your attorney told you about it, and you say it was a pretty prominent attorney. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 29:02

Um, that he wasn't my attorney, you said somebody went to go sit down and talk to okay.

SPEAKER_00 29:06

Yeah, um, have no illusions that guy has small dick energy. Um, I know that's right. He cannot um probably litigate his way out of a paper bag. That if you were assaulted the way that you said that you were, and you both were going at it, um, you know, um, there he could go ahead and tell you whether you have uh a a case, it would maybe be harder and so on. So, but were you uh do you have a record? Did you get arrested for that?

SPEAKER_02 29:37

No, they let me go. Once I called the supervisor because I said I'm not going down there uncomfortable. You better because they about put me in a small car, they're about to see me with the same officer. That's why I said the rule needs to change. They was about to send me with the same officer that came out because I was at a park at this time around kids and babies and a game. So, you know, they was about to send me with the same officer that just reached around and punched me in my jaw, you know. And I'm like, No, I'm not going anywhere with him. Call your supervisor right now, and you leveled a complaint, yeah. And then so, yep, I I I leveled a complaint. I did all that. I don't know, but this officer, he was he's a tyrant, he should be on the force. Well, well, every time we went down there at that time, um, they just basically just saying it's an internal investigation, so I don't know if he does something else or yeah, the runaround or any type of thing. Now, I have been in other situations with law enforcement too, and I was in uh back in 2004, unless like telling my stories, but in 2004, I think it was like red dog. You remember red dog? His brother ran uh red dog. Okay, so uh he probably was out there that night, so he probably so let me tell you, I I'm going so I went to school down there, went to college down there, but I drove a nice I drove a Chevrolet Caprice, probably was a dope boy car. I don't know, but I didn't sell dope. But I drove a Chevrolet Caprice, so um I'm leaving a basketball gym, I pull out, and then next thing you know, uh a car pulls me over, a police car, which is one car. So I look, I turn around and marked or unmarked. It was marked. So I turn around, I look. So as soon as I turn around and I look, I say, Oh shit, it's the police. I got a friend with me. And next thing you know, I got hands on my already. All the guys got an all black, you know, they got hands on my arms already. Like, hey, don't move, don't move, don't you, don't you move? I'm like, man, what's going on? I'm like, you know, I'm just now leaving school. They like, dawg. So they like, can we search your car? I said, no. They said, we gotta know, and threw me to the back. They said, we gotta know. I'm sitting there like, man, saying no, you can't search my car, you know. And they searched it and everything. And I swear this happened. I swear, and I'm mad, I'm furious. I'm going out. It's at least 15 cops out there, but it's only one police car. So I don't know where they came from. I don't know if I ran into a drug bus. I don't know what I did. So so I'm sitting back, I'm sitting back. So I'm sitting there, we gotta know something going off. I'm like, this is unjust. I don't know the rules at this time, I don't know nothing about the law. I'm just sitting there, like, no, you cannot do this. I don't have anything in my car. And if you find something, you planted it. So so then, so then the next day, I'm furious. So I go down to there was uh a little section of the police officers down there, right? So I go down there and I'm making a complaint. So when I go make this complaint, I'll never forget it. I say last night I was they pulled me over, they let me go, they searched my car, they didn't do anything. You know what I mean? I didn't do anything, they didn't, you know. So then the so the lady was like, Okay, I'm gonna get you the person that you need to write the complaint with. So I'm telling about what happened. So then I'm walking away, and then another guy comes out. He's come say, Hey man, he was a police officer. He comes out, he says, Hey, I was there, you know, last night, man. And you know what? You're right, bro, you know, and we're just glad nothing happened to you, whatever the case may be. He said, But let me tell you something, man. He said, These guys that you about to rot on these not rat on, but these guys that you're about to basically, you know, expose or whatever the case may be. He said, These guys got pensions, these guys got families and houses and cars. They're not gonna let you go through with this. This is the biggest gang in Atlanta. And it's a police officer told me. I turned around and walked away. I said, You're right, and I left. And that's what happened.

SPEAKER_03 33:33

I and that's a shame. Yeah, I know, I know. So they have the right to break the law and treat citizens, law-abiding citizens, however, they want.

SPEAKER_00 33:45

That's where you're wrong. They don't have the right. No, they had the right in this case, they did it, they did it, but that doesn't make it that they are right or that they have the right. Now, your violate your rights were violated, certainly. For sure. And they had me by my underwear, so they couldn't run before so you had a wedgie.

SPEAKER_02 34:06

Okay, yeah, uh, and it was a woman that had me by my my drawers, too. Like extra. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:13

All right. So let's go ahead and and and and how you should have handled this, okay. Tell me out. So you get pulled over, okay. Was this in the evening? Was this late night? Late night. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 34:27

Dark tenant windows.

SPEAKER_00 34:28

Okay, you're probably coming from a well-known drug or high traffic area.

SPEAKER_02 34:32

I'm coming from school. You're coming from the basketball gym. I promise you, I'm coming from the basketball gym. Swear, just walk out of the basketball gym, basketball attire, play basketball in college. Okay, basketball attire and everything.

SPEAKER_00 34:43

Okay, you're in basketball attire, everything like that. Okay, you get pulled over, and before you can do anything, you they have their hands on your on you.

SPEAKER_02 34:53

As soon as I turn around and say, no, so they ran to the car. Police already got out of the car yet. So they ran to the car, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:59

They ran to the car. Okay. Yeah, you have your lights on.

SPEAKER_02 35:04

No, no, I know. Yeah, I had to have my lights on because I'm driving it's night time. Yeah, I know we're not about to dissect this.

SPEAKER_00 35:13

As soon as you get pulled over by the police, you make sure you turn on your inside dome light, okay? You roll down every single window. I know it might be dust, snows, or if it's raining and so on and so forth, but if it's not too bad, go ahead and do that. Those guys wouldn't have jumped out if it was raining like that. So just wanted to let you know. You take your keys and you place it on top of your hood, okay? You keep your hands on two and ten, all right. So at that point in time, it's going to be a yes, sir, no, sir, yes, ma'am, no, ma'am. And if they asked you if you want your car search, you just tell them I have nothing to hide in here, but I just don't consent for the car. And you know, and at that point in time, if they went to go about doing that, then what you're doing out of that time, let's just say they did everything that you said, okay. 2004, you have these flip phones, right? You could have taken a picture of your entire car as soon as they left.

SPEAKER_02 36:18

This is how I left my I was poor, poor college student. Okay, I don't know flip phone in this.

SPEAKER_00 36:23

Well, good. Well, then this is for your audience, so they know exactly what's going on. Okay, you keep your hands on 10 or 2 and 10. You shut off your car. The one thing that can make a uh officer's heart beat faster than another is to know that that car is still operable. Okay, now you could go ahead and any point in time put that in drive, or it doesn't even have to be in drive. They don't know that. So you put the keys on top of the uh uh on the roof. You are and what that shows is that you're being compliant, you're not trying to cause no waves at this point in time. The temperature does come down, okay. The moment that you and I'm just saying this because I'm not saying that you did anything wrong, but to give the audience an idea of what's going on and to survive the encounter, you fight cops not on the street, you fight them in court.

SPEAKER_03 37:18

I can't say that enough, like Afro Man did, right?

SPEAKER_00 37:22

Exactly. But if you're never going to win against the cop on the street, you will take an L each and every time. I I I can't even begin to express to you how many people have done that over and over and over that in my career. And I'm thinking to myself, I mean, what are you doing? I'll see you in court. It's just too many bad things can happen in a small space like that that has already officers' heart level raised up. But as a professional, I know your heart is also racing. And as a professional, I need to act accordingly and make sure that you are understanding you understand that, and I bring that temperature down. These weren't professionals, these were goons. But just to survive in an encounter, that's the best. I survived and you did, luckily, right? Because if you tried to go ahead and do that stuff that you did with the other officer, make it that would have worked. No, yeah, that wouldn't have worked.

SPEAKER_02 38:27

No, they meant these guys meant business. When I say mask, I mean sure business. They thought I was El Chopo.

SPEAKER_00 38:34

Yeah, and unfortunately, you have to have units like this to go ahead and deal with the with certain elements, but that's not everybody doesn't need to be hit with a heavy hand like that.

SPEAKER_03 38:44

Yeah. Well, guys, great conversation. It's now to move on to our topic for tonight. And that is so in a relationship, or is this the new relationship uh trend? You know, we see other we see people dating married people all the time, and they're not hiding anymore. People are having open relationships with married people. And I want to know, let me get to my uh questions here, so we can get this show popping. So when you hear the phrase, guys, uh dating someone else's spouse, what is your immediate reaction um to this? Um immoral, inevitable, or is it just a modern reality? Who are you asking?

SPEAKER_02 39:46

I'm asking either one of you. I say unus I say I say in the perfect world, I say unacceptable, you know. Um unacceptable, you know, I think that on every and everybody's part, you know, I think that um, but I do know that in Atlanta it's 32 to one, you know, 32 women to one the one man, you know, and and so a lot of these women are sharing, you know, men.

SPEAKER_03 40:12

So I say unacceptable in a perfect world, but in reality, I think I think people are doing this all across the world. Yeah, I think that uh it's now somehow becoming the new norm. Not to say that it's right at all, but we see it happening all the time. And we see, I think there was a lady uh that caught her husband that she went viral, caught her husband in Atlanta Airport with his uh side chick. And he makes a lot of money, he he had he has a great career, he's like some VP of a company, and um yeah, he was caught with his side chick and wanted to continue that relationship with his side chick, and not only men, because I mean women are side chicks, you have men who date married women as well, so it's just not you know one-sided here. We're we're talking about on both sides, Jerome. And what is your take on is this becoming the new norm, you think, especially with you know, social media people DMing people? Um, yeah, it's kind of wild out here.

SPEAKER_00 41:48

You know, the failings of of an individual, whether it be a man or a woman, um and what brought them to that point, um, we could be critical of that all we want to. It's very complicated, I'm sure, in some instances, and in other instances it's just completely uncalled for. Um, you know, uh the the issue becomes thereafter, if depending on what the situation is, is for the person who's doing the cheating, um, certainly they have to go ahead and contend with um, you know, the fallout as well as the person who's getting cheated on. But you know, in some instances, depending if you're married, um, and you're the one that is doing the cheating, um, you can find yourself in a bonanza of issues that you can't get out of and it ruins your whole entire life. Um that that's completely accept unacceptable in the armed forces. Um, you know, you see uh individuals getting in trouble all the time in that capacity. Um, you know, as far as your one friend, when it comes down to money, power, and uh what that what that represents, those individuals uh feel as though that they have the bandwidth and more importantly the resources to go ahead and do those type of things, and that somebody will go ahead and accept that certain type of behavior. The problem is how people accept that behavior. And if there was more people not accepting that behavior and cutting ties, um you know, this would be far less of an issue. But life is complicated, and people get married for all types of reasons. And from the get-go, it may not be right from the first place for them to get married, it could be you know, completely um interwoven in being complicit with each other about how or what idea they thought this marriage was gonna be. So, you know. I could say with a broad, you know, with a broad brush, you know, that this is, you know, on the rise or this or that. And I will push back to say that um this is not going on all over the world. There are other cultures in the world that finds this completely acceptable. They don't do that. They're more monogamous than not than not. But truthfully, all over the globe, I did see a statistic like this that um that it runs about 44% or so. Um, so it's a sad indictment of our insecurities, is a sad indictment of how we perceive one another, what our idea is, what they could be, what they should be, and it's a sad indictment of our you know our failings as humans.

SPEAKER_03 44:54

Well, well, I want to ask you guys this question. Is this something new? Because I remember back in the day growing up in my neighborhood, um, and I'm just gonna say Miss Susie B, uh sleeping with the neighbor next door. Okay, or um one of the neighbors or someone that lives down the street from us, uh, who's who's a single mom uh pregnant for someone's father that plays uh uh that lives around the corner? So is this like it's not new, I would say. It's not new, but does social media amplify that more? Because you know, people come out and talk about it more, and so we see it more and more because of social media. Because this would you guys not agree that this is nothing new and when it comes to infidelity?

SPEAKER_00 45:59

Yeah, it's not it's nothing new, it's nothing new, you know. I I I couldn't even begin to say, you know, what are the statistics to it, but you know, I remember as a young child how you know I knew that the of other infidelities of neighbors, um, including in my own household. Um, so it it it's it's about that humans are complicated and what they get into, um you know, the failings, the perversions, uh the insecurities, um the the it's tough. This road, this road in life is very difficult. I think I'm not giving it a permission structure for people to do. I think it tears up a lot of people if those two people concern themselves to, but let's talk about it too. What is uh also created?

SPEAKER_03 46:57

It created the advent of uh the rise of swingers, oh another thing, the ball game right there, you know. So, you know, and we see a lot of relationships ending because people choose to bring other people in their bedroom, right?

SPEAKER_00 47:16

And so you have that, but you all see you also see the reverse side. So every yin, there's a yang, and what we concentrate on in one breath, we can go ahead and make an argument on the other side. So as long as people aren't getting hurt, you know. Um, I don't care too much about it.

SPEAKER_03 47:39

Well, someone's getting hurt. Some if you have a spouse, nine times out of ten, someone is getting hurt at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_02 47:47

Well, I think it's about being honest and being real and telling the truth. See, a lot of these people, what makes it messed up is when you're sneaking, when you're being evil and conniving, and you know, and this other person don't know nothing about it. You see what I'm saying? But I think if couples can sit down, and I'm not saying everybody has to do this, but if you know, if you sit down and understand what each person wants and what each person can provide, and y'all have a conversation, and then if y'all want to stay married because of because I know some people stay married because of the kids, I know some people stay married because of the school, because of the school zone. I know some people stay married because of the businesses and all that type of stuff. So I get it. Um, but I think it's just I think people just need to start, especially the men, just start being truthful, you know. And I hear a lot of women that that that's what they say. He didn't give me a choice. You see what I'm saying? If he gave me a choice, I would I would have done something different. But I probably they probably still would have done it, but they always just want a choice, and I think men, we need to start giving um a choice, you know. I mean, like start being real, standing on it. Yeah, I want her, her, and her. So what but Don D.

SPEAKER_03 49:01

This is the truth. So this is the truth thing in us. How many men are going to be truthful with their woman and say they're not happy, say what it really is. They don't want you missing, yeah. That they're what I mean to really say what's missing in the relationship.

SPEAKER_02 49:20

You gotta be willing to sleep with a cow for about four or five days, man. You know, you gotta be willing to be in a dog house, you know. But I think always speak your truth. I think that's very important. I think always speak the truth regardless of what it is. You know, I don't think you should lust or want another person outside of your relationship, but I can definitely understand if somebody has been together for 15 years and they haven't had sex for 10 of them, you know, somebody's gonna want to have sex, you know. So I'm going a lot of people, I guess, uh you know, from I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 49:53

You know, I just think that we're asking the wrong thing and we're looking at it in the wrong way. You know, you know, I think you did you guys are looking at it in the most faithful traditional way, as opposed to, you know, um, your truth at 14 is going to be different at 21, different at 28, different at 35, different at 42, different at 49. We don't evolve the same way. No one does. No one on this panel, and no one who's watching this is going to evolve the same way. Our tastes, the way that we see life will change too. You're not going to stay static, and that's the part where a lot of people feel as though when they got married, you full at 21, you both have similar ideas. You have to, but guess what? People grow apart.

SPEAKER_03 50:41

Well, you have to be willing to grow together, Jerome. Well at the end of the day, who has that maturity? Well, there's several people. I've been married for 35 years.

SPEAKER_00 50:51

Okay, you've been married for 35 years, they were the most blissful years in U.S. history.

SPEAKER_03 50:55

Well, who said that? No, I'm just saying well, hold on, because uh, you're not married, right? Right, okay. So well, that's your reason. That's your reason, and and it could be because of you. Who knows? I don't know. I wasn't there, but what I will say is in a relationship, in um any relationship, whether it's a marriage, any type of relationship, uh, friendship, whatever, you have to be willing to number one grow. You have to be willing to adapt. Okay, you have to yes, and oh, that's at the top of the list, right there, Don D. You have to be willing to tell the truth and be honest and open with a person because which is worse the the adultery or the lie? I think I think it's the lie that costs the most that causes the most damage. And in a relationship, yes, I like you said, Jerome, we're all growing, we're all evolving, and you can't sit there and leave your spouse behind and say, Well, I'm changing, I'm growing, and um people do that every day, aren't you?

SPEAKER_00 52:14

Sure, you can, especially if you're hurting them.

SPEAKER_03 52:17

If you're hurting them, and then you then it's time for you to move on, just like Donnie say. But you sit down and you have an open conversation. It'll even be open conversation.

SPEAKER_02 52:25

Well, the time we say if you're hurting them, nobody, a lot of people are not getting hurt in these relationships. A lot of people just not being fulfilled, women are just not being happy, you know, and and and and that's what's and that's don't you ask for what you want.

SPEAKER_03 52:42

So so that let's talk about that. Let's talk about this because even when it comes down to sex, right? I would think you would tell your partner what you like and what you want and what you expect so you can be happy, so you both can be happy, both of you should be telling each other what you like and what you expect. But that's the truth, that's the truth. And you should do that in your and and that's what you should do in your relationship.

SPEAKER_02 53:08

So let me ask you a question. How many times have you been with friends or whatever, and they said that they fake orgasms with their significant other? That's not being true for that's because you see what I'm saying. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 53:19

Women do it all the time, and they need to tell the tell their man fake them.

SPEAKER_00 53:25

Okay, so guys make okay. So give me your your your kind of logic right there. You tell your man, hey, guess what? At 21, I like this, he signs up for that. You change at 28. Okay, he does it. What happens?

SPEAKER_03 53:44

Suffer, what do you mean? No, and then no, then you go to counseling.

SPEAKER_00 53:48

Oh, oh, because that works for everything, right? Okay, then you go to counseling. Then you go to counseling. That's the that's the B office.

SPEAKER_03 53:55

Well, for me for me, that is, and a lot of men that's what I'm saying. You go to you don't go to counsel, you go to and a lot of people, thank you, and a lot of people don't want to even try counseling because they feel like it's not gonna work, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:11

But that's not for the all. You're talking about subsets of people, and we're generalizing way too much.

SPEAKER_03 54:16

You still have to you have to come together, uh you still have to find a happy medium. Then you go your separate, then you go your separate way. That's my point at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_02 54:27

How many men leave though, Jerome? How many men leave, how many women leave relationships?

SPEAKER_03 54:32

And if you love that person all the time. I I could tell you the statistics you fell out of love with someone, obviously. Why do you have to fall out in love with somebody? You have to, you had to, because if you're saying because I'm changing, okay, and this person isn't, and I've outgrown them, and I'm not willing to make some sacrifices to meet them halfway. I'm not willing to do a, b, or c because I've changed, and so now I'm gonna be selfish because this person hasn't changed and they can't meet me halfway, so I'm going my separate way, Tonya.

SPEAKER_00 55:10

If I'm with you, okay, I'm and this is why I'm gonna blow up your whole situation. No, okay, no, and nobody can blow up my situation, but God no, no, I am you. I love you halfway, I love you too. Okay, and you decide that you at 21, you're fine, and then at 23, you wanted to go here to do drugs and alcohol. Well, that's not me, so you can't believe it. I'm not being with that, and entrepreneur. I've tried everything to get you off of that. I I love you enough to know, hey, guess what? We both can't go down. I love it.

SPEAKER_03 55:44

It's a whole well, Jerome, and it's a whole different situation to imagine as a woman. Okay, but that's a whole you're bringing you you're talking about something totally different. Now, if you're bringing if you're bringing drugs and alcohol, people change, doesn't even think it doesn't even have to be that. Regardless, you're saying that's okay, yeah. Because that's bringing they're bringing other baggage in that they're bringing other baggage in that relationship at that point. I don't think divorce is okay at all.

SPEAKER_02 56:17

So I don't I think you don't think it's okay.

SPEAKER_00 56:19

I don't think divorce is okay. Is it okay? Yeah, if you are holding somebody. I think divorce is okay if we're being oh hurt, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:27

If you're being hurt, yes, hurt, yeah, yeah. You've been hurt, yeah. But you know, some people call um, you know, not just physical but mental abuse. Yeah, they just financial, financial abuse. That's the big one. That's what it is.

SPEAKER_00 56:42

There's all types of abuses out here. We just can't think of it in one swoop general film. There's so many other that's why I think it's complex.

SPEAKER_03 56:51

Okay, and I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying. It can be complex at the end of the day, okay, but we're talking about cheating. Okay, that's what we're talking about. We're talking about cheating at the end of the day. Now, when you bring other elements into that relationship, okay, you got cheating, you got drugs, you got alcohol. Um, let's go with your cheating. I got so on that too. Okay, so at the you don't have anything for me. Because you said you were gonna blow up my spot, you didn't even do that.

SPEAKER_00 57:26

I did not blow up my spot, sir. In this audience group, hey, hey, guess what? He made a point. There's no coming back from that. You said about the cheating part, right?

SPEAKER_03 57:38

Because listen, we could do it, we could agree to disagree. Define cheating end of the day. Okay. No, you told me what you define cheating as.

SPEAKER_00 57:50

I asked you to define cheating because you can define it. No, you see, I I'll define the cop here. I asked you the question. Well, listen, you can't tell me. Guess what? Well, you're not interrogating me.

SPEAKER_03 58:01

You go to you are an epicop. You said cheating, not speaking to you, correct? No, I'm not interrogation. Okay. Just to start with it. You're not interrogating. You're not, yeah, you're not interrogating me.

SPEAKER_00 58:13

So you brought up cheating. Yes. As if that is the end all be all if you cheat, but there's levels to cheating too.

SPEAKER_03 58:20

Well, hold on. We didn't say that you had to, we didn't say that you had to end a relationship because someone is cheating.

SPEAKER_02 58:29

I think cheating. If a woman cheats, I think you I'm in a relationship.

SPEAKER_03 58:33

Why is it too too too that's standards?

SPEAKER_02 58:37

Once I double woman, once I double standards, touch my woman, she's oh, she's gone.

SPEAKER_03 58:42

But the man, so the man can cheat, but the woman can't cheat. Yeah, for my boy. Yeah, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 58:49

But the man don't cheat because he's gonna be real, he's gonna be true for it. That's crazy, he's not gonna want nothing else other than that woman. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 58:56

He's gonna tell that one, and that's why neither one of you are married.

SPEAKER_00 59:04

Oh, I would tell you this there are all types of people. But I speak out there that you have no idea about. Okay, and if you're gonna define cheating between a man and a man, or a woman and a man, or a woman and a woman, I'm here to tell you there is such more there's more than that.

SPEAKER_03 59:21

Okay, and what is it?

SPEAKER_00 59:23

Well, there's emotional cheating.

SPEAKER_03 59:26

Yes, I agree.

SPEAKER_00 59:27

You don't have to have physical cheating or something. These are things that you can't, you're the host of this, you can't even explain. And I'm here to tell you that you're a guest.

SPEAKER_03 59:35

So don't just here's the thing's the thing, Jerome. When it comes to cheating, there's Jerome, yes, and cheating can be someone mind fucking you could be cheating as well. My point, okay, yeah, regardless. We're here to have a conversation, we're here to be respectful of one another. You're you're getting upset, you're getting angry. I don't know why. Oh, I don't think he's gonna be able to do that. At the end of the day, at the end of the day, so yes, and I and we're here to put we're we're here to put things on the table, whether I'm the guest or not, okay, because you may have a valid point that may open my eye, I may have a valid point that may open someone else's eye. So at the end of the day, whether I'm the host or not, okay, you're here as a guest, okay, and you're here because I feel like you bring something to the table, okay, when it comes to the conversation. So you saying that I'm the guest, I don't know where you're going with that.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:40

I'll tell you where I'm that's being very naked. When I asked you, when I asked you about it.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:43

No, but I asked you something, and you want to tell me that you're a cop, you being a cop has nothing to do with this.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:50

No, no, no, that's what you think. But what I know is I'm trying to explain the logic to it. No, if you just are just trying to say and use a general term cheating, okay. That that's that's yeah, we know that cheating, yeah, and we know that cheating could be in many ways, right? So when we say things, when we're out in public and we say things in general terms, okay, there are so there's so many other things that you can attack and bring down into the weeds that for us to say only one thing about it and but hang our and that's why we're having the conversation, right? That's why we're having the conversation, and that's why I asked the questions, but and that's why I'm I'm bringing all this stuff up. But I think this could be awareness to this, but it's our opinions, it's everything.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:37

Exactly. Right, you know what I mean? Um, and and we all come from we all come from different perspectives, you know. I mean, you know, and and somebody's gonna respect it, somebody's gonna hate it, somebody's gonna be like that person's on, somebody's gonna say that idiot, you know, it is what it is, you know. But uh invite that, yeah, for sure, for sure. And I think I think we I think we all do, but I don't think that it was no disrespect happened there. I think it was just yeah, yeah, there was no disrespect. No, not at all, not at all. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:06

I've been watching what I'm saying as the host, what I'm saying is you brought up a good question, or you brought up a good logical thought pattern, and you said cheating, okay. And what does it mean to you? Because it means different to me, it means different to Don, it means the different for so many different people, and you can make an argument, a thought argument about hey, guess what? I can go ahead and say this is cheating, and you might not think it's cheating, and that's true too.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:37

But so that's where I was coming from. Cheating is cheating at the end of the day. Your girlfriend's cheating, your husband's cheating, your wife is cheating, it's cheating.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:46

You say cheating is cheating, right? Cheating, yeah, cheating is cheating, but some people give permission structures and don't feel that way morally. Hey, I've cheated on my boyfriend, and all I did was go ahead and keep on talking to my longtime friend of 19 years.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:05

Okay, so go and have a cup of coffee with that friend of 19 years, you see, and we're cheating the goal.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:10

That can be considered cheating as well, but it depends, it depends on on there. You go, you just said it. That's why you're the host. It depends on whether your significant other in you uh agree. Okay, is that cheating? Do you does he consider that cheating or does she consider that cheating? It depends on what you're doing. We may have an understanding. We may have an understanding that, okay, and I'm not saying this for me, okay, because I feel like if you are going out there, uh I let me back this up because I used to feel like um I could be friends with men.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:58

Okay. And at the end of the day, I've had these same men that I call friends make some type of pass. So for me, now it's like, you know what? I'm gonna pump my brakes. I can't be friends with men because this has happened numerous times from different men. And I'm and it's nothing I'm doing because I'm the same that I'm with you, Don D, and I'm with you, Jerome. So I know it's nothing I'm doing. It has to do with these men. But I think it's business.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:31

I don't think you should be around men for leisure. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 1:04:34

I think if you did around men for business, oh no, that's yes, and it could be business, and I'm sure I'm not the only female that this has probably happened to. And let me ask you guys a question. Have y'all ever been friends with a female and they come on to you?

SPEAKER_04 1:04:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:55

So not everybody, so that's my point.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:00

Like, I never I never really had a woman as a a friend. Like a I could just say, like, that's my friend. There's always gonna be something that's kind of tied behind, like, there have been business partners, yeah. But like friends.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:16

Well, can a man can a man and woman truly be friends?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:22

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:23

Well, see, I used to think so.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:24

With no attraction, yes. But with attraction, no at all. Really? Because let me tell you, let me tell you why. If you're attracted to a woman right now, if you're attracted to a woman and you're very attracted to her, and she decides to friend zone you, are you gonna you're gonna stay in that friend zone for however long? But when you're able to come out of that friend zone, brother, you're coming out of that friend zone. You're gonna say, nah, we've been friends for 14 years. I don't want to do that. But you've secretly been liking her forever, but. She put you in the friend zone from the jump, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:02

But okay, and this is where my comeback to you is I dictate the terms whether I'm going to be in a relationship with you or like you or not. Let's just say I am very attracted to her, okay. Why in the do would you put me in the friend zone for that long? You bitch. No. No, so I dictate the terms, and maybe it's because of the skills that I have, but I'm not playing with that.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:26

But let me ask you a question. So that goes back to what I was saying. Maybe you just can't be friends with the opposite sex. No, you can, you should.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:35

You can and you should with no attraction, with no attraction, with attraction or non-attraction. You but I dictate the terms. You don't dictate the terms to me. I dictate it.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:48

So when you say friends, because I have uh guy friends, I don't see out in the streets. I may talk to them on the phone only, but I'm not hanging out with them in the streets.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:02

Because you know you can't put yourself in a position with these guys.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:06

Maybe you don't hurt yourself.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:07

Maybe that no, because I'm married. No, I ain't talking about you, but you know for them, you know these guys probably like you in a certain type of way. No, no, okay, no, but you're respectful enough not to put yourself in certain situations because you are married, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:25

Now I yes, now I am because of the things that have happened in the past. Yes, so but back to you, Darrow. So the friend zone, okay. They put you in the friend zone, okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:43

Jerome ain't going to the friend zone, he just said it.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:45

I obviously said it.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:49

I have beautiful, attractive women.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:53

But why does she have to be a bitch? Is what I ordered us. Huh? Why she got to be a bitch? He ain't going to the friend zone.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:59

If you're gonna go I'm just asking, okay, listen, you're gonna go ahead and turn it around all of a sudden that there was a mutual attraction, okay? I'm disciplined, I respected you, okay, okay, at this all this point in time, and you did whatever you did, you and then all of a sudden you came up with all this type of stuff, like you know what? Now's the time, okay. Why wasn't I first before? No, it won't work, but it won't never work. I don't care if you changed your mind now. Should have not should have maybe did that way back then. But what if she had a boyfriend at that time?

SPEAKER_03 1:08:40

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:41

I like yeah, like what if she had a boyfriend? Like what if she had a boyfriend at that time and you knew she had a boyfriend, and she told you respectfully, Hey Joe, I really like explaining myself. She says this, I really like you, but I have a boyfriend right now, and but we can be friends, and you keep you see her passing by all the time, and then she finally says, Hey, Jerome, I'm not with my boyfriend no more. What did you do then? But you've been in the friend zone for all that whole time now.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:09

Great question, great question. I got an ego the size of Massachusetts, obviously, and apparently how I feel about it is oh, you could you could have been done with done with that. Oh, so you telling her that you she should have left him from the jump, yeah. We're not doing that, but she was you were you were a friend, right? And we're gonna remain friends. That's the beauty.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:32

We're gonna be not if you're calling her a bitch, so you're gonna go so so Jerome, you're gonna go wax that and still say we're friends.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:37

What well I ain't say that.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:40

Oh my god. She won't call you after she breaks up and say, I need I drome. Can I come over for a moment? Yeah, this is exactly what just happened with me and my man.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:52

I'm glad that you said that. It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay. You'll find another, it's gonna be okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:58

You're good. See, you're a different type of man, other men are gonna be like, It's gonna be okay. Yeah, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:03

I I think it's just an ego thing with me, and it's just me, though. You know what I mean? It's an ego thing with me. I am, I love the fact that we are friends, and if I meant anything to you before, that should have been said before. I get it, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:22

That's all well.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:24

Should friends even date?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:26

Yes, I I think that I think that I don't think that you should date after you've been friends.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:31

I don't I just don't think a man and woman can be friends that's gonna destroy your that's gonna destroy your friendship if it doesn't work out.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:38

But you wanna but but you but you want your wife or your your your significant other you want them to be your friend. Don't get it twisted.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:44

Well, they'd become that needs to be your other my husband and I became friends afterwards. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:53

Edit this.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:54

No, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna edit that because we we fell in love and then we became friends afterwards.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:02

You you fell in love after having sexy time.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:07

Yeah, well, he loved me from day one, he said.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:11

What a man. That's the correct answer, everybody. Every guy that's listening to this or even watching this, that is the correct answer. Always say that. So he is correct. So just told like they wanted to insist on this one.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:30

Oh, he's watching, and he is listening.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:36

Good job.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:40

And it worked out because we're still together, and and and you know, through the good times, through the good times, and the bad times, because nobody who's been together, I don't care if you've been together for one year, you've had ups and downs. Relationships are just because we're humans and none of us are perfect, right? Okay, and I'll give you another prime example before we uh end the show. When we became empty nesters, like we had to reconnect again. Like, what are we gonna do?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:15

What are like your priorities changed at that point? Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:18

So that's what that's what I meant by you have to meet your partner halfway. You're gonna have to make changes in the relationship if you want it to work, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:31

Right, right. No, no, no. You you know what should be celebrated, forget about the performative nature that we did for the past hour. That is to be celebrated. Um, because that is the hardest thing to do is to be together for that long. I mean, you know, that that that's that's the real story, let's be honest.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:51

Yeah, because if we we still love one another and we're friends, I don't think that I think I will say this. I don't believe that a relationship will last long if you're not friends. If you don't become friends in that relationship, I don't believe it's gonna last. Because you can I will always love him. He's my children's dad at the end of the day. So it's the the friendship too that we have with one another.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:25

Tanya, can you promise me one thing that you that you won't drink or do drugs? We don't want that test.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:33

Oh hell yes, hell listen, I've never smoked weed in my life.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:38

Fair enough. Fair enough.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:39

So, yes, but unless listen, unless somebody slips me a damn Mickey at this age, okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:46

That's his job to do that.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:48

No, hell no, hell no. So, no, and I and I understand what you're saying. Someone changes in the relationships, they start using drugs. That's a whole nother situation. I get it at the end of the day, because some people aren't built to um to stay in that type of relationship because it is definitely hard, it's not easy, you know.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:19

Yes, I think everything starts with I'm gonna say again, the truth, you know, the truth, the truth ain't in us, you know. I mean, I think everything in your life telling the truth, you know, regardless, the truth will set you free. You know, we have to stay, we you know, we have to be truthful in every every way. I I think, especially us as us as men, we have to be very truthful. We because it's our morals, it's our character, it's it's everything, even when we're wrong, if it's the truth, stand on it, you know, stand on it, stand behind it, you know. And um, I would say, you know, a lot of people don't stay no more. You see what I'm saying? That's why I I regardless, if let me just tell you this. If I get married to you, and this is real, this is real. If I get married to you and you get on drugs, and I told God through sickness, through health, through death, through I should be able to go to rehab with you. I should be able to say, baby, you need to kick that. I should be able to fight that with you. You see what I'm saying? I it should be to the point that I know don't nobody want to deal with this, but it's happening in our society and our communities all the time. We have to stay with one another, especially when you have that vow. When you get married, it's so easy to leave. Like I told you, people are leaving over text messages, people are leaving because of emotional abuse, just because somebody said, Don't wear that, don't wear that outside. No, you can't go to work with though. You can't is he her daddy? No, you can't go to work with them co-workers and have drinks if there's gonna be guys there, and now just like you said, you my daddy, and then now the woman now now the woman wants to leave, and now the woman wants the divorce, and then now the woman wants to live out live separate, and the kids enjoy it now. Let me tell you why the kids enjoy it because they're sitting in the back seat saying, At least we got two Christmases over dad's house and mom's house, and so everybody's okay with it, and us decided we're making it okay. No, stay.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:17

You know, no, I'm gonna call you card on that. I'll tell you why. Boy, for the girlfriends though. If you were why aren't you gonna blow his top? Like how you said you were gonna blow topie girlfriend, and she was whooping your ass every night. You're gonna leave, you're not gonna say, baby, let's go to let's go to rehab together. No, you're not doing that. You're gonna you're gonna get hit with so many left, you're gonna be asking for a right.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:42

So, no, yeah, you're not gonna do that, and then women do abuse men. That's what I'm saying. Women do abuse men. Well, that's what he just said. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:51

We talked one side of our neck, but we gotta understand what the other side is gonna say.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:55

But you also know, no, but you also gotta know that you know this woman. Why would you get married to somebody you know hits on you? People change drunk. That's what I brought every year. People do change, people change.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:07

Man, that's what makes this so complicated.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:12

Well, we gotta figure it out then. If you got married, figure it out. You got now now. You if you divorced already, you got a clean slate. Live so do you so you're saying you got a clean slate, right? I got a clean slate, I'm I'm single.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:25

Because I was about to ask you, why didn't you stay?

SPEAKER_02 1:17:29

It wasn't about me stay. I got left. Like women leave. Hey, 80. Hey, I hey my ex-wife left me. She just she packed up everything. She she packed up everything and people was helping her move. I'm like, damn, what'd she tell y'all? So, you know, it it is what it is, you know. But 80 of women leave though, most women leave. Men, we stay through toxic relationships, we stay through women putting their hands on us, we stay through women trapping us any type of way. We stay through women not having sex with us for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and months and months, and we stay. Women, y'all leave at the first sound of trouble. Hey, baby. Oh my manager talking about laying me off. She she creating the exit plan. What you say, financial abuse? She creating the exit plan. She done told her mom, hey, you know, Charlie getting laid off. The mama telling her, Hey, well, you you might need to start looking other places.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:27

Please tell me you don't have an address where people can send hate mail to because it's gonna be.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:40

Listen, guys, this is why I love this show, The Truth Ain't in Us. We can agree to disagree, we can have our little spats, but I was about to fight. Y'all put the box of gloves all tonight.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:54

No, no, no, no, no, no. I wasn't too fighting. I was sitting like this. You're gonna make a look.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:00

Yeah, she did. She didn't she? She went like she was like she called her cut man over and said, I get over here, get yeah, bastling this place, this place.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:09

Yeah, yeah, absolutely not, Jerome. You said what he just said, and what you saw on the face, she said, What did he just say?

SPEAKER_03 1:19:20

Listen, I love you both, okay. So stop it, okay. We're having fun, we're having fun. I know. So, and Jerome, you are invited back to the show.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:31

Don't oh thank appreciate that.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:34

Draw out you're gonna have something else written in your contract, though.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:43

No, that was speaking against the queen. Oh, okay. Listen, everybody has the right to their opinion. Yeah, every you know what I'm saying, and that's just at the end of the day. Yeah, we can agree to disagree and we keep it moving, right? And that's it. There's no love loss or anything like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:03

So where he's supposed to be.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:06

I do it with my brother over time. Oh, I already know you're you're I wish I could be a fly on the wall on that. We need to have him on the show as well. We gotta invite him on the show. Yeah, bring him on. We gotta invite him on the show as well, and then you can talk to him about red dog. Man, because he got he was in charge of that. He was in charge of that.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:29

We're gonna do a show on that um on our live uh about red dogs.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:34

Um, so you need to invite us on your show, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:37

So that when we go ahead and do that, because we let's go ahead and do that, okay? Yes, we'll go ahead and do that on a live. We'll talk about the importance of red dogs, why we support it, why other people wouldn't support it. You two come in.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:52

I I'm not saying I don't support it, I just felt it. You know what I mean? I just he literally felt it. I just felt that they was the biggest gang in Atlanta. Like I felt it when the guy saw the biggest gang in America, it really made sense. He looked, he he was a he was like 23 years old, younger guy. He looked me in the eyes and said, Man, these guys got pensions, these guys got families, these guys got to do with how they treated you. But I know, but he was just saying they're not going for they got your address, buddy. They're gonna take your ass down. Yeah, they're not going for you trying to take their job. He was like, This is the biggest gang in Atlanta. I turn around and got in my car and never look back.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:30

Well, guys, it's been good, but we got to get the hell out of here tonight. So please, guys, please, please, please, Truth Nation, tell your friends, your family, please ask them to like and subscribe to the page and hit the notification button. And I hope you guys have enjoyed the show tonight.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:54

Cheating is unacceptable.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:56

Absolutely, cheating is up.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:02

I don't want y'all to feel like it's it's it's cool. No, it's not. I'm sorry to cut you off. I just want to say that when I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:10

Continue. You're fine, you're fine. Any last words from you guys before we go, Jerome? You want to tell you?

SPEAKER_00 1:22:17

Um, yeah, masturbating is cheating.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:21

I think it is.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:22

That's a whole nother conversation to get master.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:24

Yeah, and even listen, I know we're about to end the show. Masturbathy stops people from cheating, and not only that, I think watching porn, porn is cheating.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:40

End the show, please.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:41

So y'all say porn is not cheating, porn is not cheating.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:46

No, no, no, no, no. What I'm saying is this this might be a good show.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:50

Next show, next show, next show. Yeah, because he was saying he's masturbating and doing all this other bullshit. Yeah, who? You I never said that. You actually did.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:00

I did he not say that. He said masturbating, he said masturbating is cheating, and I said masturbating stops people from cheating. Oh, okay. That's all I said. You think so?

SPEAKER_03 1:23:12

I would think so, yeah. That's gotten some people locked up. That's me.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:18

What about the people who are locked up? Is it cheating then?

SPEAKER_03 1:23:22

No, they don't have anybody because they're locked the fuck up. No, they got people at home. Please. What are we at? What are we talking about right now?

SPEAKER_00 1:23:30

What we're talking about is how nobody's sitting in their car masturbating.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:34

You men are just freaks. Oh no, you shouldn't do that. That's weird.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:36

Don't do no weirdo behavior. Do it. Well, that's home. What are we talking about? The shower. What are we talking about? I'll do it.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:43

Looking at no I don't even know how this show is going to be number one with this conversation, but go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:48

Weirdo behavior, weirdo behavior.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:55

Y'all, let's end the show. Good night, everybody. We will see you next week. Different time, different time.