The Truth Aint In Us
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The Truth Aint In Us
Booked, Busy, and Burned Out
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Kayla Armstrong of His Ambitious Girl shares her journey and struggles of building a brand, while being a single mother, feeling burned out, but pushing forward with her business to seeing the success of her labor.
Hear her story and get inspired on this episode of The Truth Ain't In Us with Host Tonya Wilder.
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And if you're joining us and you want the truth, you are in the right place. That's what we're gonna give you the truth. And today we have a special guest. Booked, busy, burned out, finding balance, losing yourself. Welcome to the show, Kayla Armstrong. How are you?
SPEAKER_03I am good. How are you?
SPEAKER_00Good. So, Kayla, you are a business owner. Yes. Okay. And what's the name of your business? Tell everybody the name of your business.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so the umbrella business is Hiss Ambitious Girl. We work for God, not me. Okay. And um, underneath what that we have programs like Hills and Fitness is one of our main programs that we do.
SPEAKER_00Okay. So tell us about the first business.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. So as the umbrella, um, God, you know, just gave it to me in a very depressing state of mind after having my first child. And I believe he just was reminding me to always be ambitious about God and not man. Um, everything that he has helped me through throughout my life, you know, just reminded me that I can still do it. And as it grown, I just always teach other women that that's who we work for, God and not man.
SPEAKER_00So you said you were depressed.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Was that postpartum or like what caused your depression?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, well, first of all, you know, I don't know if it's our community, but my parents and postpartum, it's like, oh, you ain't going through postpartum. So looking back, I do think it was postpartum. And I think that it was very dismissive from other people because I am the strong person. I am the person that, you know, I'm gonna go get it. I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna do it. Um, and I remember saying, I need help working out. Like I would act like I'm going to work out when my children's father would go to work, and then I would sit there when he left and I would sit there all day. So I think looking back, it was definitely postpartum and just amidst of me not knowing what's gonna happen after I have the baby.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so let's go back. Tell me where exactly you're from.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, Atlanta, Georgia. Um born and raised. Okay. ATL, Ellenwood, Georgia, is where I really um grew up at.
SPEAKER_00Okay. So you're born here in Atlanta.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, Georgia Peach. Georgia Peach. And went away to college. Yep, Albany State, you know what I mean. Albany State. Um, are you the only child or I do have a sister. We're 10 years apart. Okay. And are you the oldest? Nope, youngest. The youngest. So you're the baby of the family. Yeah. Okay. And so you go away to college and you meet your your your love of your life. Let's just say that. The love of your life, right? Yeah. And you you get did you get pregnant um in school or after you graduated?
SPEAKER_03Yep, after I graduated. So I graduated 2018. I uh got pregnant 20 and 20, I would say 2020. Had her 2021.
SPEAKER_00Okay. And so you got depressed. Was it like right after giving birth or it you know what?
SPEAKER_03Thinking about it, we was going through some tough times before I had her. Um, I think I was in the verge of like leaving when I found out I was pregnant. So it was probably just like all of the emotions of, okay, I'm out of here too. Okay, I'm not out of here. Um, I'm here, you know, we gotta figure something out. So I think it was all of that in the mix, um, for sure.
SPEAKER_00So you guys decided to work it out because you were having a baby?
SPEAKER_03We did. Okay. We didn't know. Which I make sense.
SPEAKER_00That's what you mean, that's the right thing to do. Right. I think it's owed to the children first and foremost, but yeah, for sure. And so, how did you get into starting your business though?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so I actually started in college 2017. Um I started listening, it was a very uh interesting transition. I started waking up early listening to Denzel, Tyler Perry, Oprah early in the morning. Um, I was dancing and I got a studio off campus. Um, accelerated if I could pay her rent monthly. And I started hosting classes off campus.
SPEAKER_00So were you dancing? Did you grow up dancing? Your parents put you in dance school? Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03Ballet. Um not dance school, but I was always in ballet. Then I did praise dance, and then I started majorette for high school, and then I danced in college as well.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so when you say praise dance. So you grew up in the church.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Are your parents uh pastors or no?
SPEAKER_03No. Okay. I think I put them in church back then too.
SPEAKER_00So yeah, I was like, let's go to church. Yeah. So it wasn't the opposite way around. You were pulling them into the church. Yes, still do. Okay, and so um, so then you started this business in in college. Yes. Okay, and how did that work out?
SPEAKER_03It was amazing. Um, I believe every class was sold out except for one. Okay. Um, and it was sold out online, but in person it was just me and my friends there. Um, but that was one class, and then I hosted a showcase before I left, and that was amazing. That was completely sold out, and it has 400 chairs in there, and people were standing. So I felt like in that moment I knew like, okay, this is, I think this is what I'm gonna do when I graduate. And I think, like I say, when I had my first child, and it was like, well, it doesn't seem like that's gonna be it. And I think that's where I just kind of lost myself.
SPEAKER_00And what type of dancing was it?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, honestly, I I'm more of a freestyle type of person. I go off the beat because I have so much in me, major it, line dance, I have ballet in there, hip hop in there, that depending on the beat, um, I'm a flow. So yeah.
SPEAKER_00You're gonna have to show us some moves a little later. You're gonna have to show us some moves, girl. So what did you do after you graduated college?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, the day after I went into sales. Okay.
SPEAKER_00I went into talking to a lot of salespeople lately. I that's my background. Okay. What type of sales?
SPEAKER_03I went into direct TV hardcore selling in the Walmarts and the Kroger's. Oh, yes. Now that's a sale job idea. It's a sale, yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00You you it's like getting it out the mud.
SPEAKER_03And I loved it. Like I wish I would have stayed longer. Yeah. My sales were up, my name was on the charts, I was traveling with them. I it was really good. And then randomly, I was like, I need to go dance. And the owner was like, You need money though. Yeah. I was like, I'll figure it out, but I wish that I would have stayed there longer for sure.
SPEAKER_00So it was a calling for you. Yes, basically. Okay, and so transitioning into that, how how was that journey for you? Transitioning into your own. And that's and that is that the company that you're that you have now?
SPEAKER_03Well, it's dance has always been the base of it, right? But when I had my daughter, same classes, I'm doing the same thing. I think that the calling and the message just switched. Um, because in college it wasn't called Hiss Ambitious Girl, it wasn't for God and not man, it wasn't empowerment, basically. But after I had my daughter, the name and the message just switched. And why is that? I think he just called me back to him. When I started in college, it was my first encounter with God. Like I felt like he showed me me. Um, because I never thought I would dance. I was always dancing, but it was like I'm gonna graduate and go into marketing or something. Um, but one night on the side of the road, I was, I just felt like I had embraced, like I just had met God one night. And I sat there and I started planning, like, this is me, this is what I'm gonna do. And I just started doing it. But I feel like over time, you know, coming to Atlanta, just jumping into things, I feel like over time I had just kind of lost myself. So I think when he called me back to him, he just wanted me to go more into empowerment versus let's just dance.
SPEAKER_00Okay, I hear you. And so, what inspired you to create a fitness experience centered around dancing and heels? Because that's what you're doing now, right? Yes. So explain that to everybody the dancing and heels.
SPEAKER_03Yes. So heels and fitness uh started in my living room, and one night I was sleeping. This probably sounds crazy, but one night I was asleep, and I just heard heels and fitness. Um, I woke up and I'm on Google, like, is it safe? Is it this? And I dance in heels as choreography. So it's not we're not doing anything crazy in our block boot heels. So I knew it was a safe alternative to fitness. Um, but it was just different. And so I just started doing it for myself, adding on a band. I started working out. I ended up losing 40 pounds. Wow. And I just kept doing it, and that's when women was like, well, let's, you know, let me do it, let me do it. I started making YouTube workouts. Um, I end up at first it was a stiletto, but I ended up doing a block boot heel just because, you know, we're stepping out, yeah, more balance, and we're doing a little bit more in our heels and fitness um sessions. So that's pretty much me in the living room playlist, losing my weight, and just sharing it with other women.
SPEAKER_00Okay, and so by you sharing it with the other women, that grew into you going out doing brick and mortar.
SPEAKER_03Yes. Okay. Um, I would say, well, we have we don't have our studio yet. Okay. You know, I honestly wasn't sure if I wanted to do that um till recently. It didn't hit me till recently, but um, it went into me going into cafes and nutrition clubs and studios, dance studios, gyms. It went into us popping up at other places. Okay, hosting pop-up experiences.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that's cool. And how was that working for you?
SPEAKER_03It's going amazing. So before I had my son, I just had my son.
SPEAKER_00Oh well, congratulations. So that's baby number two. Okay, boy and girl.
SPEAKER_03Mm-hmm. Perfect.
SPEAKER_00Are you gonna have any more?
SPEAKER_03That's it. Done. You hope not. I'm done. Yeah, tubes tied. No. So you don't know if you're done. That's true. My mom was like, time up. I said, that's crazy.
SPEAKER_00That's the only way to say that you're done, done.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_00Okay, because I thought I was done. And then you had and 14 years later. No, no. Yeah. Not 14. Yes, 14. So let's go.
SPEAKER_03Yes. Um, yeah. So before I had my son, um, we were doing weekly classes at Colourbar Cafe, and then we started at PDN uh Peach Drop. These are cafes that started with Herbalife. You ever heard of Herbalife?
SPEAKER_00I've heard of Herbalife, and like how many people would be in your class?
SPEAKER_03So we were probably at PDN, it was about 20. We was hosting about 20 consistently. And then when we moved to the dance studios, I seen a huge drop in numbers. And then sometimes it'll be 20, sometimes it'll be five. Being at Culabar Cafe, I would say five to twenty. It just fluctuated. Um, doing something weekly consistently, when I first started, it was like a three-month trial, so people just kept going coming. Um, and then doing something weekly consistent, so you get to see people um be a little inconsistent, you know. It's a weekly thing, like a gym. And um, so we was doing that after I had my son, I just didn't want to do it no more. I didn't want to do weekly anymore. I felt like it was so much more to do just as a brand owner. Um, doing weekly classes can, you know, it can be a lot if you're not at a gym, someone's handling marketing, someone got to get the people in there. And I was not getting the people in there no more. I I wasn't even focusing on it, you know, not like I was in the beginning. So now we focus on pop-up experiences where it's every other month and we make sure that it's a full-blown experience.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so and do you work another job outside of this?
SPEAKER_03I was um post not postpartum, uh maternity leave turned into actual leave. So they let me go on maternity leave. But but yes, I was. I was um just at Porsche Experience Center, more of like a um customer experience person. And so the business, so right now you're doing pop-ups every month or every other month, every other month, and then our women empowerment dance event, which is a larger experience, is November and April.
SPEAKER_00Okay, and so how are you making money outside of that?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so for the brand wise, the app. So I've had this app built in.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so let's talk about this app because I haven't heard about the app yet. So let's talk about the app.
SPEAKER_03I've had this app built in um for a while now. It's uh something that we use through spaces, but the ladies get workouts. They get workouts, they get community, um, fellowship. So it's just able, instead of them singing me weekly, you can get all my workouts on the app.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_03Um, but now we transition to make it worldwide. Um, we yell at all of our events, energy. So that's so that's the name of the app. And now energy. And now it's gonna be on the Apple Store and Google Play Store, but it's gonna house way more coaches. Um what we have a confidence corner, you know, when you wake up, read your word daily. So implementing that um finance is super important to me because it's not something I grew up learning.
SPEAKER_00So none of us did in the black household.
SPEAKER_03Listen, so that's in the app as well, you know, looking for more financial women to kind of take on that portion. So that's where I'm at right now. I've just been building the app on maternity leave. So let's talk about that more in depth.
SPEAKER_00How do you start by building an app? Because some people can't even fathom that. I mean, it's a dream, it's a hope, it's a prayer. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, so how do you make it happen?
SPEAKER_03It's easy these days because we're not thinking about $40,000 um build-out developers. We have it's AI days these days. Okay. I didn't use, I didn't take that route. I am in the AI builders program, but I built it before I joined. So I use, I went through Wix. Wix already has built in um for you to publish your app on Google Play and Apple Store. They've been very helpful. All I had to do was build it and design it, which I'm pretty good at. I can work my magic. You went to college for that? I think because people just I just been editing and trying to do my own stuff for so long that it just became second nature. Oh yeah. Never having a website person, never having a developer myself. I just learned. So um that I'm pretty good at. And all I had to do was go in and key and plug in. Um so you did you created this app on Wix. Okay. Yep, on Wix. Um, and I would say that's the hardest part is just building it out. Um now I joined the AI Builders program because they was talking like you can make an app in a week. And I'm like, wait a minute, this took me four months. So I joined to see what what they were doing, and it's true. I took my spec sheet, which is basically your target, letting AI know exactly what you're building. I took that thing and put it inside of Lovable and they built it. And I can see a different perspective now, but that's how easy it is now. I think it's just a matter of people putting that time in behind closed doors.
SPEAKER_00And so with this app, how many people are now using your app?
SPEAKER_03New app, none. So right now I'm just looking for, I'm not gonna say none, but right now we're looking for 50, um, 50 founding members. The app hasn't published yet. Okay so it's on the Google Play Store. Um, we don't market it as if it's there or anything because we're still waiting on the Apple store. Mm-hmm. And then our old app, we have about 20 founding members, so we're just working our way up. Um, all of our ladies that was in it in the past, as we were building, we just kind of stopped a little bit because we knew we was going to transition. So we've just been banking on founding members.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Mm-hmm. And so I also heard that you had some type of deal with Lululemon. Yeah. So let's talk about it. Yeah. So how did that happen? And like, yeah, explain it to us.
SPEAKER_03I think it's just who you know. Um, one of the ladies that is close with Color Bar Cafe owners, and Color Bar Cafe is near and dear to me as well. Um, I think she's just been looking at us and been very proud of us. Um because we've been building from the ground up, still building, you know. So uh she reached out and asked if I can be a part. I think the beautiful thing about it was that she asked for heels and fitness. I think that was like the it's like, okay, whoo, people starting to get it, you know, notice me, notice, you know, what we're building over here. And I think that was the most beautiful part about it. I got to come as me. I didn't have to make up no other workouts or anything. We didn't have on our heels, but that was fine because it's more about the movement and the energy that we bring.
SPEAKER_00So, what did you guys actually do with Lululemon?
SPEAKER_03It was at their fitness festival that they had. Um, so I had a specific slot where I got to teach the ladies and work out with them. Mm-hmm. Very cool. Each coach had a slot, and so uh I don't know how everybody else did it, but I bought out a DJ. Um we always gotta have DJ Breezy in there. And uh we had our towels. We always like to bring some towels for ladies and give a little gift, and we worked out with them. Dance fitness.
SPEAKER_00Okay, and so when did you start to notice that, hey, I'm booked, I'm busy. Like, when did that happen? When did you notice that? And how did you like start dealing with that?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I think I'm in that now. Um, I think I'm in that now. It's more so booked on the brand side because I have been implementing Teams now. And I think with Teams, because in the past, I think when I did get pregnant, I noticed I stepped away. And when I stepped away, I noticed my brand was not going without me and running without me. And it hurt me a little bit. Um, because I felt like that was three years I had already put in.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It made me feel like realize you've done nothing in business terms, you know. So since I've been implementing Teams, I've been doing that because I want to make sure that it's gonna run whether I'm feeling it or not. You know, it can't just go out for how I'm feeling. So um we've been making sure that we're having our events every other month, um, making sure that the app is running, the meetings are running, the app is about to launch, you know, it's it's it can't just be um I'm doing it, who's getting overwhelming. Let's wait another month, you know. So I think now I am in that booked and busy just because I have accountability within my brand now. And it's like, girl, you gotta gotta keep going. So I have somebody like, okay, you said that was gonna be out n last month. Yes. Where is it, you know?
SPEAKER_00So Okay, so two kids. Two kids, single mom. Yes. How do you balance work life with being uh one parent at home?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I honestly um I think things will change over the next month because I am looking to go back to work. Um and I have been graced with such a, you know, when they let me go on maternity leave, I was sad because I was like, how dare you? I was about to sue them. But um, but no, I realized that it's it was a beautiful thing because I just had my baby and I did want that time. I was not trying to go back to work, but I was just going back. And so I took that time to build and to be with my children every single day. Homeschool my oldest daughter, she's five. So I think that the balance happened naturally. Um, just being able to wake up, have my me time before the kids get up, but I'm not rushing to work. I'm not on anybody else's time, you know. Um, but when I go back to work, I do think that things will change. One thing that I have been blessed with is understanding organization. Everything is organized now. All of my folders, all of my chat conversations, my website. And now that the app is pretty much done, we're just waiting on them to approve. I'm not at home trying to do all this stuff. So I do think balance comes from organization and just being willing to do it in the time frame you said you was gonna do it. Absolutely, and I've gotten really good at that.
SPEAKER_00So going back to work, a lot of people think, oh, when I start my own business, I don't have to work. Like, you know, I'm a business owner, I'm gonna put all my time and energy into this business, but then you don't have the money to pay your bills because you're building this business from ground up. And like a lot of us who are in the you know, we're black or African American, starting from scratch, getting it out the mud. Basically, um it doesn't look like that for us. Sometimes you do have to work another job plus run your business. So, how are you gonna manage that with two small kids? With two small kids, yeah.
SPEAKER_03I think this time it's just knowing that um it's a decision this time. I think in the past I only did it because I had to. Or I mean I've I've been there. I have stopped working. I think I was completely jobless and just working my brand for three years um while my daughter was with me um growing. And because Twitter had laid us off first. So I had, you know, I was working, doing my own thing, then I started Twitter, then I just went back to doing my own thing. So I get the grind.
SPEAKER_00So Twitter had laid you off. What does that mean?
SPEAKER_03You know, when Twitter just said we're done. Twitter became X, and everybody that was with Twitter got X. So it was just a layoff, you know. But um that was in the past. But I was doing the Uber and the the um what's the other one? DoorDash, trying to make sure that I can, you know, still meet ends meet. But honestly, I don't I don't have that in me no more. I don't have the hustle um in me like that anymore. I like to do the real work, I would say. Um what do I need to do for the brand to succeed? And if that's going to work and investing in myself, but making sure I can invest in my children, that hustle only allowed me to invest in the business. But it's like, you're right, I got two children now. And one of them wants to be active. And so now I finally understand, oh, that's where the extra money comes in at because I don't want you touching the business money. I don't want to take the business money and you know, put it into the family and then what's gonna grow the business. So I think just having a better understanding now. I'm okay with going back to work. Um, I'm okay with still waking up early. I'm an early bird, I'm a 4 a.m. girly um to get things done before I go to work.
SPEAKER_00So now what about the kid's father?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Is he helping? Like, I'm not talking about financially. Yeah, I'm talking about giving you the time so you can grow your business, um, have a peace of mind.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Because I think that's very important. Um, and if the if the kids are with you most of the time, is there a time when he comes in and you're like, okay, let me get the kids? Yeah, that's the truth, ain't it?
SPEAKER_03Yes, this is the truth ain't in us. Um because he lives elsewhere, um, South Kakalaki. Yes. I um my hometown. Yes.
SPEAKER_00Hometown.
SPEAKER_03Does anybody else call it South Kakalaki? We do. Okay.
SPEAKER_00That yes, South Kakalaki. That's that's one of the terminologies that we use for sure.
SPEAKER_03Well, yes, because he's so far known. Um, and I think that has probably been the hardest thing. And I guess that's why I did get so good at time management because I started to drown a little bit and I did not like drowning. Um, so you know, I I felt myself trying to operate as owed me. And I realized, nope, that baby is gonna wake up whenever that baby is gonna wake up. And then when you finish with him, the toddlers or scholars, like, okay, mommy, I'm hungry too, you know. So just going back and forth, I don't feel like I had that peace of mind. So I think that's where I really had to double down and understand a good schedule for me. But no, you know, they can only do so much from afar.
SPEAKER_00So I'm gonna ask a question, and if you don't want to answer it, you don't have to. Do you feel like women get the short end of the stick when it comes to you know having kids? Because a man, he can go out and live his life afar.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I don't think it's fair, you know, for the mother to be stuck. Like, is there what about shared custody? Like, is that something that you considered? Like, for real, for real. Like him even getting the kids like every other month or whatever.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I don't think it's something I think about only because we have an amazing relationship. You know, we're always on the verge of, even right now, like we want to work it out. Um, he has a job there now, so it just kind of kept him there longer. So I don't think about that, but I still always tell him, and I'm very vocal, about it's not fair, you know. Um, it's not fair that, and I think they really be feeling like, oh, I call every day. Um they hear my voice. It's like it is not the same. And you know, when I said it, he definitely was like, I know that, but it's like I really wish that men would understand our entire day is it is evolved around the kids.
SPEAKER_00Yes. And also, like, it's a it takes a lot. Yeah, yeah. You know, because let's just let's just keep it 100. He's living his best life. Yeah. And not saying that you're not living your best life because you love your children. We love your life. You know what I'm saying? We love, you know what I'm saying? But he doesn't have the responsibility that you have.
SPEAKER_03He took them for the weekend, and this is my first mommy break weekend. And this is a breath of the way I'm moving throughout the day. I was like, I forgot about this.
SPEAKER_00Well, maybe he should get them every weekend. Like, I mean listen, but you can give you kids every weekend every weekend or every other weekend, okay?
SPEAKER_03It'd be me. I don't be wanting my little chunky man to go nowhere. No, only because I'm breastfeeding, but okay. Yeah, after that, say less.
SPEAKER_00Yes, I get it. I definitely get it. I definitely get it.
SPEAKER_03But I I definitely think that's a conversation that, you know, women don't always have. It's like, it's that's a lot. It's we're our entire day is kid, kid, kid, back and forth. You be like this. I started to count.
SPEAKER_00For me, um, and I thank God I didn't have to go like that, even you know, go through that, I should say, even though at one point um my husband and I did separate, but still, and he was in South Carolina and I had moved here, he had the kids for the summer. Like, and you know what I'm saying? I had the kids during the school year. That was the first year that we were separated and we we got back together. But I was the type of person, like, I wasn't having it no other way. Yeah. And I think as a woman, I think we allow these men to do whatever instead of us putting our foot down and be like, no, this is what it's gonna be. And if I have to get the white man involved and let him make the decision, then hey, let's do that. But I think we allow them as women to do whatever.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I can definitely see that. Because for the longest, I I barely said anything, you know. Um, and once again, it could have been because the baby is so young and because I'm like, ugh, but there are moments that I wish I would have said, I need, no, you gotta come back and get that. You know, some it's not working.
SPEAKER_00Oh, you need to move here.
SPEAKER_03Exactly. I still voice that. I'm like, okay, time's ticking, you know.
SPEAKER_00So absolutely, absolutely. Now don't cause no problems. I'm not Are your parents here?
SPEAKER_03Yes. So that do they help a lot? They do. I'm actually with my yep, when we split, I went back home. Okay. I went back home. So that has been a huge help. Um, I didn't want to, you know. I was like, uh-uh, nope, not doing it. But um I did. I think I was stuck on what it would look like versus what I needed. And um it's it's been it's been pretty great, honestly. I get to learn from them in a different way. Because they're they've been together for over 32 years. So yeah, it's been pretty great.
SPEAKER_00So I know at one point you were burnt out, right?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. How did you like how do you know how did you realize or recognize did someone come to you or like you know, honestly, I think it shows up in the way that I receive things or pour into the people around me. I think I got tired of pouring. I got tired of being the one leading the class and doing the empowerment. I felt like I was going to class crying that I had to pour out, you know, because I behind closed doors, I felt like I don't have anything to pour out. Um, but yet you walk in the building and people are waiting for you to pour out, waiting for you to host that class. So I think it definitely showed up there. It shows in my hair too. Whenever my hair is looking janky, something is wrong. I'm just like, yep, stress, you know. Um, and also just feeling like when other things are working for other people. And I kind of had like that, okay, what about me? That's when also I knew I'm a little burned out. I'm not pouring inside of myself. I'm feeling a little weird about things. So um, but I kept going. I think that's the downside to being so ambitious is you always one of my one of the sayings we say in class is don't stop. Look somebody else in the eyes and tell them to keep going, don't stop. And I say, I live by that too. But when I got pregnant, something about pregnancy emotions, you can't fake nothing. Maybe it was just this baby, but I said, cut it. Cut the classes, cut everything. I don't want to do it.
SPEAKER_00So, how did you overcome the depression? Like what steps? Like, what did you do? Did you go to counseling, saw your doctor? Like Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um, the first time, the first baby, because I believe it kind of happened a little bit with both. Uh, the first baby, I more so listened to a sermon twice a day, morning and night. I ran into Sarah Jake Roberts. Um, Get Up Girl is my first sermon. And I listened to a sermon every single day. And I think just taking in, you know, how God views us, um, I was not viewing myself that way. And I think getting over, once again, what things look like. I, my parents have been together all my life, 32 plus years. And for me to be pregnant and not in a relationship, I think that it just rubbed me the wrong way. And I think I looked at myself a little bit disgusted a little bit. Um, so having to get over that and over the fact that this is your life. You know, you're either gonna be sad about it or you're gonna keep going. So I think that was the first thing, just acceptance, um, changing my attitude about things and seeing what God wanted for me in that season. And that's where the women empire dance events came back up. And I can be honest at these events and I can pour it on other women. Um, this pastime, letting everything go. I stopped showing up to classes because at first I was like, oh, I'm gonna be the pregnant girl, hitting it in class, you know, doing everything in the fitness classes. But um, I don't know, as time went on, I said cut the classes. I don't know when the next event will be. I was just at home and just getting back to me. I started working out in the living room again and recording a series of pregnancy and postpartum series for me. Um, and now that series is honestly the reason I'm getting more views, more audience, more app clicks today.
SPEAKER_00So, do you think you need counseling?
SPEAKER_03Mmm, um, I think everybody needs counseling, but I I would say so. I started a little bit um and just kind of stopped, but I I would love to, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And the reason I say that is because how do you know you won't stop again? Mmm.
SPEAKER_02How do I know I won't stop again?
SPEAKER_03I just don't feel like I will, but you're right. You don't know. I think the only difference this time is I am implementing the teams because I know that I don't want a one-woman brand. I want a brand that can. I always say his ambitious girl is the next Nike. I want to see this logo on everybody's chest.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_03And so um I think having to understand that it can't just run with me. So I think it's not that I don't know if I'm gonna stop again, but if I stop, I know that the brand can keep running without me. So I think that's what I'm working on.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I think too, like in life, we all go through things. We go through things, yeah. And uh just knowing how to deal with it at the end of the day, yeah. Um can definitely help because we just can't stop living. We can't stop our dreams. Right. Because each time you stop, right, how far does it push you back?
SPEAKER_03So far. Yep. So far so far, but I can say I think that it it pulls, but it catapults you up a little bit. Um, depending on how you handle it, you know. Me being in the living room, it pushed me back up, you know, because I think I was afraid to say, hey guys, I think that I want to build Hills and Fitness from the Living Room again. I think I was afraid to say that because you've been doing these weekly classes, people are coming. So why would you do that? You know? Um, and I didn't want to do both. So I think for me, it was being afraid to just say what I wanted to do in the season that I was in. Um, so it was good for me, but yes, um, not knowing how to handle it, you're right. It can, you know, stop you and push you all the way back for sure.
SPEAKER_00And self-love, where are you with that?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I take it seriously. I'm always, my daughter knows me so well. Um, I stayed this weekend. She said, Is it because you want me time? Yes. Yes, so I take it seriously. My self-love, I think, I just like peace and quiet these days. So finding that for me, um, I'm I've never been a big shopper. I've never been a um lady of nails and toes. Um you got your nails damp. Uh-huh. Yeah. And I've been, I've been doing really good for it for years, but I just wasn't that in the past. But just learning what I like. I've I don't I've never been on a solo date, you know? So yeah, I think being with him for so long, we just been with each other since college. So I never took those that time to figure out me, Kaylin Nicole Armstrong, as just a woman away from business and everything. So um, I used to be more so focused on the dance industry, but now I focus on going to train for me. Like I love entering myself into training sessions with other choreographers. Like, I love all of that. So I think I'm just learning myself all over again.
SPEAKER_00So you haven't dated anyone outside of your boyfriend. He took your ex. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Took my old 20s.
unknownOh.
SPEAKER_03We had a little break. I started seeing one other person, but he was short-lived.
SPEAKER_00So you think he's not dating? He hasn't dated other people.
SPEAKER_03Um sure, he probably has.
SPEAKER_00So why have you stopped living for you? I'm too old school. Yeah. I'm like the What does that mean? I'm not sure. Because I'm hold on, I'm 56. Really, you look good. Yes, but I'm old school. So when you say old school, so what does that really mean?
SPEAKER_03In the past, I feel like I date you, I can only focus on you. So then I lose time because if that don't work out.
SPEAKER_00Are you waiting for your ex? Is uh seriously, uh is that what's really going on?
SPEAKER_03Is that what's happening? I think because we've been talking about working it out, I think there is some waiting in me. Um because because he's interested in working it out. But it's like every time they're interested, why we be interested, you know.
SPEAKER_00You answer, you I'm about to ask you, so why are you making it about him?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I think that's just me.
SPEAKER_00You yeah, but you gotta change that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I think so. And then I mean, guys are interested, you know, they're interested. I told him the other day, I said you better you better hurry up now before somebody snatches along. But when I try, I just feel like, yeah, I'm not going to.
SPEAKER_00So this is the truth ain't in us, right? So here's what I'm gonna say to you live your life. Yeah, don't wait on a man to I mean, there's no need for you're a beautiful young lady. I would not be waiting for this man to come along.
SPEAKER_03But we're family.
SPEAKER_00Is the kid's father?
SPEAKER_03Well, we talk about making it work.
SPEAKER_00Well, what you said to me was he wants to make it work. That is true. Okay. But if he didn't want to make it work, I think you would still be waiting there for him to come along to say he's gonna make it work.
SPEAKER_03In the past, yes. This time, no. I do feel like this time I am interested in making it work. But this time, I told myself, I'm okay if if it doesn't, you know. But in the past, yes, I feel like I was just dangling.
SPEAKER_00I think you need to get out there and start dating.
SPEAKER_03And I and I want to, whether he wants to make it work or not, there's no ring on my finger. I need to date, you know. Dating is scary these days.
SPEAKER_00That's okay. But uh dating, I'm not saying to have sex. Yeah, just date. Yeah, just date. Just date. Go out there and date. Yeah. And I won't. You never know. Mm-hmm. I want to. I just wouldn't be stuck on that one person. Right. He's your family when it comes to your children. Okay? And I will say this to you and anybody else out there. A man knows if he wants to marry you from day one when he first meets you. Okay? They already know. They do. They do. So I'm telling you, don't waste your time. Yeah. Go out there and date.
SPEAKER_03I'm trying. I'ma try. I'm serious.
SPEAKER_00I think you're gonna be sitting there waiting for that man. No.
SPEAKER_03I think you're gonna be sitting there.
SPEAKER_00I think you're gonna be sitting there waiting for that man. Listen. But I'm praying, I pray that you don't.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I I promise I have healed enough to not wait. But like I say, I am I am happy to know that he's interested. I'm happy, you know, but I've healed enough not to wait. And I'm focused. I'm just gonna do it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Listen, I'm I I keep it real. I talk you how old are you?
SPEAKER_03I'm 29.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so my son is 35. Okay. My daughter's 33, and I have a 21-year-old.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_00I talk to them, I keep it real. My son is married, but my daughters, I'm gonna keep it real with them all the time. Yeah. And any young person as well, I mean, I keep it, I'm gonna keep it real.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. My mom tells me that all the time. She's like, what you waiting on? Go. Exactly. And I'm like, yeah, when I thought about it, my my friend is so funny. She said, wait, you ain't been with nobody else since because she graduated with us too. I was like, no. She's talking uh-uh, you need to get out there. You do. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Because I'm sure he's been with some people.
SPEAKER_03Mm-hmm. Probably so. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So you don't, and I'm not saying you have to go out there and do that, but go out and date.
SPEAKER_03I think it's important, especially crossing over into, you know, the big 3-0. It's like you didn't do it in your 20s, so I am interested. Just and I just think it's good for you. Just experience. Yes. Experience some different things.
SPEAKER_00So, enough of that lecture from me. So, tell the people where they can find you on social media.
SPEAKER_03Yes. Hey y'all. On social media, Kayla Nicole Armstrong on all platforms. And if you're looking for our community page where we host all women empowerment events, dance events, fitness events, that is his ambitious girl, H I S Ambitious Girl.
SPEAKER_00It has truly been a pleasure speaking with you. Thank you. I pray for you, your children. I pray that your business, your app, all of it grows, and that you're successful. Thank you. Um, and I just pray that you find happiness and love at the end of the day. Happiness and love. Okay. And go out and date. Yes, ma'am. Okay? I'm gonna do a follow-up with you. Yeah, go out and date, let your hair down, okay? Yeah. And have you some fun.
SPEAKER_03He's gonna watch this and say, I thought we were working on some things. We're dating right now.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, y'all working on some things from afar.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Okay. And you're gonna go on some dates. Yes, ma'am. Thank you guys for watching the truth ain't in us. Please like, subscribe, and hit the notification button. And you will see us back next week, same time. Different topic.