Men Tell The Truth

Do men really tell the truth?

In this powerful episode of The Truth Ain't In Us, host Tonya Wilder sits down with Rod Boyd, LaVon Lewis, and Jonathan Wilson for an honest conversation about what men are really thinking when it comes to relationships, marriage, vulnerability, faith, and emotional growth.

Together, they tackle some of the biggest questions women often ask:

* Do men know right away when they've met "the one"?
* Why do some men struggle with vulnerability?
* Are actions more important than words?
* Why do relationships fail when communication breaks down?
* What does unconditional love actually look like?
* Can men truly feel emotionally safe in relationships?

Throughout the conversation, these men share personal stories about love, marriage, heartbreak, family, and the lessons that shaped who they are today. Rather than stereotypes or social media opinions, this episode offers thoughtful, transparent perspectives that challenge common misconceptions and encourage healthier conversations between men and women.

Whether you're single, dating, married, or simply trying to better understand the opposite perspective, this episode is filled with wisdom, honesty, and practical relationship insights that you won't want to miss.

💬 Join the conversation in the comments:
What do you believe builds trust in a relationship—words, actions, or both?

👍 If you enjoyed this conversation, don't forget to Like, Subscribe, and Share with someone who needs to hear it.

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Transcript

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SPEAKER_04 0:08

Welcome to Truth Nation. I'm Tanya Wilder, the host of the Truth Name in Us. And normally, you know, women, we've had our opportunity to tell our side, to tell our story. But tonight, I am sitting down with three men, three awesome men who's gonna talk about religion, relationships, family, faith, and so much more. And I just thank God for this opportunity, first and foremost, to actually sit down with you gentlemen and have an open conversation just to hear you guys speak your truth and you know talk about things that truly matter and talk about things that a lot of people may have questions about at the end of the day, and to just have a man's perspective on things, right? So I want to welcome to the truth ain't in us, Rod Boyd, Levon Lewis, and Jonathan Wilson. Welcome to the truth ain't in us, gentlemen.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 1:16

How are you guys doing tonight?

SPEAKER_03 1:18

Doing great. We're good. All is well, no complaints.

SPEAKER_04 1:20

Awesome. So when you hear the term um men tell the truth night, what does that mean to you? And I'm gonna start off with you, Lamon.

SPEAKER_03 1:33

You say men tell the truth. Men tell the truth night.

SPEAKER_04 1:37

That's what this show is about.

SPEAKER_03 1:39

Ah, I think that, well, I I think a lot of things about men and women, but we're talking about the men now, are like we want to demystify them tonight, right? So, you know, to talk about what men really think about things, our perspective. Sometimes it's things we feel like we can't talk about, right? Um, sometimes men feel like, you know, they could get emasculated or they could be called weak, all these kind of things, right? But at the end of the day, men and women, we're all human, right? We're made of emotion, flesh, all these things. So people feel things, right? And I think the more vulnerable and honest and transparent you are, the better. We know what we're working with. So that's how I feel about it.

SPEAKER_04 2:20

Awesome. And what about you, uh Jonathan?

SPEAKER_01 2:23

Oh I grew up in a house full of women. Uh so you had no choice but to kind of divulge in the truth all the time because, like you know, women can see a mile a lie from a mile away. Um so I kind of always have try to shape myself and just open communication and telling the truth because that's the only way we can get to the end goal.

SPEAKER_04 2:43

Awesome. I like that. And for you, um, Broad.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

Yeah, I think, I mean, I agree, right? Men tell the truth, whether it's by words, and I think sometimes people limit it to just the words. Yeah. But men tell the truth by their actions also. That's right. So not only by the things they say, and sometimes people look at just the words they say and not looking at the actions. Sometimes a guy is trained or been raised to not be as vocal, but they express it their truth, if you will, or truth in their actions, how they show up, the things they do. And sometimes they tell the truth by the things they do that may not be as positive, and the words they say, they don't really um go hand in hand.

SPEAKER_02 3:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

So I do believe that. In some capacity, men tell the truth, yes. I'm supportive of the brothers, right?

SPEAKER_04 3:28

Yes, but you know, when I think about it, and just thinking from a woman's perspective, a lot of men don't tell the truth.

SPEAKER_03 3:38

Why would you say that?

SPEAKER_04 3:39

I'm just I mean, I don't know if you guys are are on social media and keep up with the times and what's going on. And we see a lot of relationships uh fail um right in front of our eyes. People run to social media, and but it's it's refreshing to hear you guys, you know, willing to be open and honest, and just it's refreshing at the end of the day. Yeah, you know, so and I'm sure that we all have experience, uh friends, family members, um, relationships that went left because of a lie.

unknown 4:22

Right.

SPEAKER_04 4:22

And I think men do have a hard time. Most men, not all men, have a hard time being honest at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

True. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:31

Would you agree or 100%?

SPEAKER_01 4:34

I do. I believe.

SPEAKER_04 4:36

So I know, boy, you have a different uh response.

SPEAKER_00 4:41

Well, again, I said when you when you say things on social media, people making statements, I think it comes down to what I originally said. If someone is complaining that that man lied to me, my question is always, did he really, or were his actions consistent, right? Or did you manipulate, did you change the narrative from what he was actually showing you versus, you know, what you you had, what you wanted him to be doing, what you want him to say, how you want him to show up. But if you look back, if you pause and reflect, you would say, you know what, he was consistent, right? He never really checked on me, he never really did this, he only called me at two o'clock in the morning, he only did that, you know.

SPEAKER_04 5:18

So are you saying women should not based um trust off of the word, you know, what a person says versus it should be more of the action.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

Yeah, I'm saying it's twofold. And that's what it sounds like. Yeah, I'm saying it's twofold, right? Uh that you look at what someone says, but then you back it up with the actions, right? Otherwise, just words. Because then the flip side of this, and we all know, you know, I'm sure most of us we only hang with brothers who are in a certain circle and move a certain way, because that's how we carry ourselves. But there are always individuals that will say things, or the old phrase, I can show you better than I can tell you, right? Yeah. So so to answer your question, should women not listen to what men say or what people say, I wouldn't say that. It's not one or the other. I think when we start to dissect things by all this or all that, that's when you get into problems. There's no one thing that's going to fix everything. Look at the behavior, look at the actions, and look at the words, see if it all matches together. So I think it's a comprehensive view of how you're interacting with someone.

SPEAKER_03 6:17

Yeah, I I would agree with that. Oftentimes one thing means the next, right? So if you meet a man and he says, Hey, I'm not ready for anything serious, but I want to date, most of the time, a woman here as well, if I see him consistently, you know what I'm saying? Yes, I'm changing his mind. I can change him. Absolutely. And see, the way it kind of works, not all the time, but most of the time, a woman can meet a guy and not like feel him, and over time, like fall in love and change. Men kind of don't do that, right? It's kind of like when we meet you, it's like, I found my wife today of, or love at first sight. Or if it's not that we all kind of know, it's not like we're like you're a no, and then you turn into a yeah, that rarely happens with a man. So he might date you consistently, but he said he wasn't ready, right? And so you kind of just gotta look at is he proceeding forward? Is he buying you flowers? Is he saying good morning, or is he just a good time on Thursday night for dinner? Right? Yeah. And so what he means is that he's speaking to you, you just gotta listen instead of what you want it to be, right? Because it's not gonna progress unless he's saying it's progressing, yeah. Right, is what he said in the first place unless he tells you again.

SPEAKER_04 7:27

And it's funny that you should mention that because I uh one of the questions I wanted to ask you guys was when whenever a man beats a woman, do you believe that he knows right away whether or not that person is going to be his wife? Because I remember meeting my husband and I didn't like him at first. And he said to me on day one, you're gonna be my wife.

SPEAKER_03 7:52

Right.

SPEAKER_04 7:53

So it makes me wonder do you men know from day one whether or not that woman is going to be your wife, or she's either married materially?

SPEAKER_01 8:04

Oh, definitely. So I know from the start if it's gonna be just a thing or something. I mean, you definitely because you see the traits, just like women see the things that they see in guys, we can see the traits in women in right in that instance. So at least I can speak for myself and say that I know that it's gonna be a thing or really something.

SPEAKER_04 8:25

So you knew that when you first met your wife?

SPEAKER_01 8:27

I met my wife from college, so I saw her. Uh-huh. We didn't have much interactions high and by, but once we came into each other's world and each other's circle, the certain uh way she moved and the things that the things that she brought to the table, I knew that this was gonna be something. Didn't know it was gonna be married with kids 10 years, I mean, you know, 15, 16 years later. But I knew that this girl was gonna be something for me. I I'll tell you a real story.

SPEAKER_03 8:50

When I met my uh my wife within the first week, right? She said, Hey, you know, I'm single, like I divorced a year and a half ago, so I'm taking my time, kind of thing. And I heard her say that once or twice. And I was like, No, you're not. She was like, What do you mean? I'm like, you're a wife, you're not your wife. I didn't know she was gonna be mine at the time, but I was able to see you're a wife. She's like, How do you know that? I'm like, I can just look at the way you're talking, your habits, like in a week I can see that. It's like, you're a wife, you're not a woman that's gonna like date the rest of your life, right? And then a couple years later, I married her, right? But it's like I knew that a couple days in.

SPEAKER_04 9:29

So you were dating with intention. You were intentionally dating at that point.

SPEAKER_03 9:33

I typically do, but at that point, I was in the mood of just doing what Lavon wants to do. And here's what I that sounds a way, here's what I mean by that. Like, really a lot of self-care, moving at my pace, letting nobody rush me, right? Kind of situation. And so, and I was honest about that. I said, hey, emotionally, here's where I am. I'm not dating other people, but this is my pace because I'm focused on work or all these kind of things, right? And I was very honest about that, right? And so, and then when I realized what I had in her, you men have to make a decision. Because you could say, okay, well, I'm not ready. I need two, three, four years or what have you. How do you know how long you need it? There's no rule book that says that's just three years, right? So men have to do a thing where you have to step up and grow up, or if you think this woman is a wife, somebody else is gonna see it and get her, right? So you gotta just be honest about where you are emotionally, and then you just grow together. But there's no rule to say, I need this much time. People say that, but there's no rule. That boils down to how hard you want do you want to work on yourself to be ready and how fast do you want to do it.

SPEAKER_04 10:39

And I think it can be said that it can be an excuse.

SPEAKER_03 10:43

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 10:44

And women need to recognize that and pay attention. And what is your thoughts on this boy?

SPEAKER_00 10:52

So these are the the Married brothers here. So I would say to copy his words is I've met a lot of a thing versus something, right? Um, prior to. So I do have a something. I met someone who is a something. And I will say, I used to hear people say that all the time. But you know, when you meet somebody you know, uh, there's a spark, you know, we've all met someone that you thought that was interesting.

SPEAKER_02 11:14

Yes, right?

SPEAKER_00 11:14

You just want to get to know. But when I met someone who um was different, right? The character shined through, right? So it wasn't just the looks and the the fact that this and the da-da-da-da, and the things that you may like, right? Um, the things that you may have gotten accustomed to. It went deeper than that. And so for me, it was like, this is a little different. And so I I do agree then. You can see, I didn't know that that was possible. You hear people say it all the time, but it's something that sparks you a little differently than the anything or the a things that you would have had in your life, and you realize this is sustaining, this is sustainable, right? Right, this is comforting, this is peaceful.

SPEAKER_03 11:52

That's right, right. Yeah, it can be a little thing like being honest versus transparent. You know, so you can meet one woman and she could say, you know, she could have gone somewhere Friday night, and then you ask her, Where did you go? Oh, I was out with my girls, or I went on a date, right? Or the transparent one, which is you're like, huh, that's different, would be, hey, I'm going out Friday, I'm gonna be out till like 2 a.m. Just want to let you know because it could look a certain way, but that's like, huh, that's different.

SPEAKER_02 12:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:18

But it's not just about that. That just tells you those are characteristics of a partner, yeah, right? Somebody you can trust with money, with your kids. If you're that transparent about that that early, it those are like partner traits. So that's how I see it. I look at little things and say, okay, that's sustainable, right? And I always look for sustainable kind of habits, and that tells you everything. And a man can, y'all, you can pick it up. There's not, you know, you can pick it up and you can see it.

unknown 12:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:47

Levon, I can pick it back up for that. It's it's those character traits. Like, I feel like um before I opened all the way up to my to my, um, I saw she opened up to me and she was honest, transparent, like, hey, this is what I'm doing. Right. Like, if you're gonna be with me, this is what you're gonna need to do. And then I had to step up because, you know, younger, we met in college, so yeah, still maturing, 21-year-old. So I was like, okay, this is something that I know I like her, I love her, start to love her. I know I want to be with her, so now I have to step up so I can get into her world. Right. So this can be a thing, and then I know started knowing that that's when I want to marry her.

SPEAKER_00 13:27

Right. If I can say, I mean, what I'm hearing these brothers and all of us have been saying consistently is as I know women will be watching this program, is that what these brothers have just mentioned, and I've just mentioned, is someone who sparked your interest, you saw something different because they were transparent, they were open, they were vulnerable, they weren't playing the game of, well, I'm not gonna say it until he says it, I'm not gonna do this until he does it. No, no, no. Because most men, you can you can really move in and out of situations very easily, right? And but it's not to say that men are uh not loving as well. That's a myth, right? Men love hard also. So, but what um capture their thoughts and their hearts with their spouses uh is someone who is open, someone who's transparent, and it's the little things, right? Just even saying I'm going here, here, here, not because of control, but because of love, right? Because and respect. So some people almost see that as control. Your man is asking you, you gotta check in. No, I'm not checking in, I'm sharing.

SPEAKER_04 14:27

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 14:28

So it's a different perspective, correct? Definitely. So I think it comes down to maturity. That's right, right, that's right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 14:33

And so what's one lesson life has taught you the hard way when it when it comes to love and relationships? And because you're not married, have and you have you've never been married?

SPEAKER_00 14:47

No.

SPEAKER_04 14:48

So speak on that, like what lessons has love um taught you in the relationship? And have you ever been in love?

SPEAKER_00 14:58

Yes, I have, right? So what love has taught me, I would say what life has taught me about love, if I don't mind, if you don't mind me changing the question a little bit, right? Is that some people love, or they say the word love, but I've recognized that for them love is really conditional. And most people don't understand unconditional love.

SPEAKER_04 15:17

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 15:17

And so that's what I've learned through the process of life. People love you as long as you have a nice job, as long as you can provide, as long as you move in certain circles, right? Then the love wanes.

SPEAKER_02 15:28

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 15:28

Unconditional love is next level. And most people in relationships don't tend to have that in my experience. And so that's what it's taught me is to look for and be at peace when you find unconditional love. Because it is rare. Most people say it, but the actions prove otherwise. So that's what I've say is taught.

SPEAKER_04 15:48

And so let me ask you. You've met some pretty good women, uh-huh. Great women, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 15:55

Why are you all in my business?

SPEAKER_04 15:57

I'm just saying because I I want to know what has prevented you from making that commitment, making that next step, which is marriage.

SPEAKER_00 16:09

Sure. So it's what I said earlier, right? Where things are always looking good in the beginning. And so you meet the representative, right? We all know that phrase. I'm meeting the representative, you know, oh, this is nice, it's nice. Six months later, a year later, can it stand the test of time, right? When challenges come, life happens. Life is lifing. And so, can someone hang with you through the process? Do you see me as an enemy, or do you see me as this thing, or do you see me as just this is this thing that we're going through? All right. So if a person makes a mistake, they're not the mistake. They're just a person that did a mistake, right? And so that's to me was very important. So that's why to answer your question, for me it was always important. Yes, I met some amazing, amazing people. All right, absolutely. Right? Uh but then I also met some trash, right? Let's just keep it 100, right? So I've met some toxic situations as well. And a lot of that stems from either upbringing, your philosophies of life, your culture, all those things play a part. What has always been consistent for me is the unconditional part of it, right? I I was blessed because my parents are still married and they love each other. You know, when I visit, you know, my father still spanks my mother on her butt, right? And they they still joke around, right? And they still smile with each other, they still laugh. It's it's that's so I saw that. I have the pleasure, I have the honor, and I realize that most people just didn't have that. So because I had that as a guide, without me realizing it, it played an impact on my life and my decisions. So of course, if I'm not seeing that and I'm seeing wishy-washy behavior or inconsistencies, then it's a no for me.

SPEAKER_01 17:51

Yeah, I and I guess I could go next. Um, you know, I grew up in a two-parent household as well, but I, in my opinion, the relationship wasn't healthy. And so she divorced like when I left. But um the traits that I saw in my mother are some things that I knew I wanted in a wife. Um, so just to answer the come back to the question, um, I believe that the the time when I knew is that, you know, we went through a situation that, you know, either of us couldn't, you know, uh get around. It was just a bad situation when some other people had going on, just happened to be there. And at any point in time, you know, great girl, good girl, she could have said, No, I'm done, like, peace out. And she was like, No, cool with me. You good. We're gonna figure this out and we're gonna be okay. And so that let me know right there, it's like, okay, this is a girl who who cares about me, she loves me, she wants me for the better good. I need to grow and build with this person, and I need to trust her, open up fully, and that's how I was able to transition.

SPEAKER_04 18:52

Through the ups and the downs, the good times, the bad times. And that's what really relationship should be about, and love should be about at the end of the day. That's where the unconditional love, you know, kicks in, I believe. So and LeBron, for you?

SPEAKER_03 19:09

I would say be fearless with your honesty, like very early, right? And so I give an example. You might a guy might meet a young lady and she might say, How many women are you dating? Now keep in mind he's laughing.

SPEAKER_04 19:22

Oh, you're gonna tell the truth.

SPEAKER_03 19:24

I always tell the truth. Okay, yeah. And because most men don't, because we're scared of losing. Losing something good. So you gotta get over that fear and realize it is what it is, it's best, right? So, and I'll tell you why, because if a woman asks you, how many women are you dating, and you just met her, if you say three, it might be a little bit of right? But at the end of the day, women at the end of the day respect it because when you narrow it down to just her, she's gonna realize, okay, he was honest and we made progress, and it's just me, rather than lying and going out a week from now and seeing you at the table with a young lady at a restaurant, you lose respect.

SPEAKER_04 20:03

And let's just flip that, right? Right? So, and you ask that woman how many um people are you dating and she tells you.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

I didn't want to know.

SPEAKER_04 20:14

This is the difference between men and women never knowing another. Y'all, but what's the difference?

SPEAKER_03 20:18

I read I read I read the signs, though. If you're available Friday, Saturday night, that tells me everything after 12 o'clock.

SPEAKER_04 20:25

But why, but why you guys don't want to hear that truth? Like, what is it about? Hey, I'm dating four or five men.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

Just never bother me. I feel like if you were gonna be with me, then none of that mattered. That's just my confidence, knowing like if I come into your life, even if you were saying the other person, you're gonna drop that and come out with but what it appears to be is like, okay, so as a man, I I can openly say I'm dating this amount of women, right?

SPEAKER_04 20:56

But when when it's a woman.

SPEAKER_03 20:58

Well, we're not saying it's a double standard, right? That's what it sounds like, though. No, no, no. We're saying let's flip it, right? We're saying women typically ask it, right? Men typically don't. That's that's not a double standard, it's just what women do versus what men do, right? So you can do what you want, but a man typically don't want to know that information. And it's like what he mentioned, he mentioned that may the best man win, right? So, but women may be curious, the women that have asked me that in the past, they're curious of kind of where their seat is, right? And the the women I've been honest with in the past, they will say, they told me later that made me want to be number one and eliminate them. They get competitive. You don't know it, but it makes them like, okay, I'm gonna step up and be it, right? And so we're just built different. It's not a double standard, we're just built different on what we want to know.

SPEAKER_04 21:45

Not you. But it sounds like to me. I don't know if anybody out there is gonna think the same, like, hey, like, and what if?

SPEAKER_01 21:54

I I just never want to know because I'm Capricorn, I love her and everything. I never want Think about this person that I know I want to be with. Hmm, dang, she was hilarious, Joe.

SPEAKER_04 22:08

I'm wondering. What if I don't know the wondering, I should say. Wondering.

SPEAKER_03 22:12

I care about your character, but I don't have to know the details of your past.

SPEAKER_04 22:16

You don't need to know the body count.

SPEAKER_01 22:18

I think I'm gonna be able to tell when I meet you in the beginning. She might have a little pass. You can't know.

SPEAKER_04 22:24

We all gotta pass.

SPEAKER_03 22:29

You want to ask some questions on your parties.

SPEAKER_04 22:36

Oh my god. That is hilarious.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

Time break it pass.

SPEAKER_04 22:39

So I want to move more towards um men and emotions. You know, women, we say we wanna we we want you guys to be mo, you know, emotional. Um you want to see some they don't men, men don't cry, right? Type of thing. Um do you feel like when a man does show his vulnerable side um to in a relationship, do you feel like the woman may feel like he's soft? Um you know, and that's why a lot of men don't show that vulnerability.

SPEAKER_00 23:20

So I mean, I could do it. I mean, I I just to modify again, I think when you say emotion, what I've learned is that some women don't necessarily want a man who's emotional. They want a man who is emotional like them. And sometimes they confuse the two. So because he's not reacting in the same emotional way she does, that suddenly he's he's out of touch. No, he's just responding differently. So you can't expect a man to respond in the same emotional way that you do. So that's one. And I think for some men who get the opportunity to be vulnerable in what they believe is a safe situation, some men have been betrayed by that safe space, right? That you thought it was a safe space. So when you feel like, okay, this is my girl, I'm getting ready to share this. Look, here's a deal. You can tell now when she looks at you differently.

unknown 24:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 24:11

You can tell when the respect has changed. Yeah. Most men can do that. If you you felt it was safe, she told you it was safe, but it really wasn't safe, right? That's right. So now it makes difficult for you, usually for the next situation, right? Not all the time, because some men are able to do that.

SPEAKER_04 24:26

I feel like a lot of men don't share. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:29

And and it comes down to maturity too, right? So if if that's happened to you 10 times, probably you're not gonna keep doing it.

SPEAKER_02 24:35

Right. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 24:36

Uh, but some people are able to navigate that and say, you know what, this was just that person. And let me, I don't want to hold my new person to the standard of the old person. So let me start fresh. Let me start clean slate, tabla rasa. Right.

SPEAKER_01 24:50

So yeah. I mean, I think a lot of it is how you raise and your background, you know, like we was, like I said, most boys are raised not to cry. Most boys are raised, like, hey, be tough, get up, shake it off. Um, don't tell everybody your business. They don't need to know that. So when you get into those deeper relationships and somebody starts asking you these deep questions, I feel like I don't have to answer it. And um, that's a part of the growth. And that's a part of the trust and the unconditional love. Like, I trust you enough to know that if I tell you that this happened on that day, that two weeks from now, you're not gonna throw it in my face and try to make me feel bad about it. And if that was the case, I can say it to you like, hey, I didn't like that you did that because it made me feel this type of way. That comes with time and growth. I don't think as many men are just off the rip like, hey, this happened to me when I was eight years old. You know, like stuff like that, or you know, so I think that's just time, growth, and you know, the person and speaks to their character as well. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:48

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 25:49

Yeah, I would I would agree with what they they both mentioned. I think I think it's a healthier thing because the emotion comes out somewhere, right? Some men get violent, some men raise their voice, some men do all kinds of things, right? So um I think it's just wise to just let a guy have that safe space. Um to like I like what he he mentioned, like I've said before, hey, if when you say this, I don't like how I feel when you say that, right? Because you begin to talk about the real issue, not the thing you think it is, the real thing, right? When you kind of are able to talk like that.

SPEAKER_02 26:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:23

And you can map it back to where it came from. So um, so yeah, I think that safe, safe space is is very important. A lot of men feel like they can't, you know, they just go tell their friends or they lash out and all these things.

SPEAKER_04 26:36

Do you guys, any of you ever have a moment where you cry? Like, I mean, for me, sometimes it can be refreshing, it can be a relieving um a relief for me mechanism, actually, sometimes.

SPEAKER_03 26:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:54

Um, and if so, do you feel like you're looked at as being weak?

SPEAKER_00 27:01

What's that? What's crying?

unknown 27:02

What's crying?

SPEAKER_04 27:04

What's crying?

SPEAKER_01 27:06

I mean, for me, just I mean, like, if I was to cry, like somebody had to be like sick and or dying. We talk about that. Or very hurt. Like, I don't understand, I think for men, I don't really see like, oh man, the roses are. I don't know. Like, I don't see like that happening for most men. Right. Yeah. I think it's like, you know, like we're we're born to be, you know, and we're raised to be like tough and strong and be there and hold it down for everybody. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:31

So I like what he's saying. It's hard to explain it. It's kind of it's kind of like like I don't cry either, but if a if an emotional moment happens, I will tear up and I won't hide it, and I don't think it's weak, right? But it's like it can be the saddest thing that happens right now. I look at it and feel it all, but I naturally I can't cry. Really? Yeah, it's just I feel it what you're feeling. You may be crying, but I just don't. Now may I tear up? I might tear up a little and and rub it, but yeah, it's just I guess it's just how we're built, you know.

SPEAKER_01 28:00

I'm at a stage now of like happy cry.

unknown 28:02

Right.

SPEAKER_01 28:02

Like, oh man, my son just uh got touched down, like, man, son, like, you know, or like somebody like sick or dying almost, you know, whereas I'm like, dang, I'm by myself or I'm with or and I'm feeling that emotional, and I just might have to let it out. I'm probably not weeping and you know, going off convulsive, but it might be a like some tears rolling down.

SPEAKER_04 28:23

Yeah, but what about like you were in love with someone and you guys, you know, you break up or whatever, and there's no emotions and no crying, no crying? No one's shedding no tears.

SPEAKER_03 28:35

We're not saying emotions, it is just I'm talking about shedding some tears. That's I'll be I I'll be honest, like I didn't my dad passed away maybe 20 years ago, had no issues or nothing like that. I felt the sadness for years, but I never teared up. One time I thought something was wrong. Like, maybe I should make myself, but I felt what anybody would feel. I just didn't cry. You know?

SPEAKER_00 28:57

So but I felt it for years for years after that. So you're asking the question because you want to see us respond again. You want to see us cry. Like a woman.

SPEAKER_04 29:06

I just think that maybe you guys need to shed a few tears.

SPEAKER_00 29:10

But but we we are feeling it. We are saddened, right? The loss of your father, the loss of, you know, I can say that I teared up and what hit me. So during COVID, as an example, right? Within a short period of time, I lost 14 people. Wow, that's true. It's a lot of people. So almost every time you pick up the phone, it was a message, a phone call. This is so it hit me. And I'm in the shower one day, and it just kind of all hit me like, whoa, like my aunt, my cousins, my, I mean, everybody. So at one point, you you do kind of, you're not, it's not that kind of required. Right. So, but it it does hit you. There are moments, I think, as men that I know as men that it becomes overwhelming where you don't have the answer.

SPEAKER_03 29:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 29:55

Because we're often what helps us, I think, get through some things is that we have an answer, we have a way. And if we are men of faith, then you know, okay, Lord, I'm I'm leaning on you. But it's like we we still want to find a pathway. Yeah. When all the pathways are cut off sometimes, and you've you've gone up, over, through, you've attempted all these things, and you're still hitting the wall. Sometimes there's a moment where you feel, ah, what am I gonna do? So you feel a little overwhelmed.

SPEAKER_03 30:19

So you're not gonna boo-hoo. I'm gonna tell you how men cry, that's an easy way to miss, right? So let's suppose something happened to me and he's my best friend. I might call him and say, hey, let's go to the bar, drink margaritas, and I just tell him about the situation. I'm crying. Yeah, it's a version of setting him here. Yeah, but that's why when a man comes back, he's probably like different, a little more energy. But it's it's it's not that we're hot and don't feel it. It's like, okay, we had a few drinks, we talked, okay, I think I got enough. That's crying to a man.

SPEAKER_01 30:47

That's what I would do. I'll I would lean. I I have maybe like two best friends in my life. And I know at any point in time on my hour commute from Atlanta to Fayette, I could pick up the phone and call him be like, hey man, the whole ride, probably. And we're just talking. Yep. We just talking. That's that's me venting and crying right there. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_04 31:04

Okay, so that's that's the men's version of believing themselves, basically. Mm-hmm. Emotionally. Because it's safe. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 31:14

Safe space, for sure. And another man understands it, right? Like I spoke to one of my boys the other day, and he went through divorce, three kids. And so he didn't have to say, man, this is tough. I just know it's tough. But we ended up speaking for almost two hours. Now, I don't normally talk to him for two hours like that, but I know exactly what was happening. But it's cool. We chopped it up, we joked around, we talked about life, we talked about how do you rebuild, how you without even having to address, man, you know, I can't make it. It was just we talked about the situation two hours, we ended up laughing, joking, cool. And the the key to it was the next day, you know, we sent each other text like, man, that was a good conversation. Yeah, yeah, that was a good conversation. That's the nice way to say, man, I really needed that, right? Right. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_04 31:59

So when it comes, you guys are all businessmen, right? And we didn't even get an opportunity, but we'll go back later. And I'm gonna have you guys tell a little bit about yourself, and it'll be edited, of course. But um when it comes to relations your relationships as a leader, do you feel like because you make the most money, and I don't know in in any of your relationships, who's the breadwinner, if it's a man, okay, do you feel like because you're the breadwinner, you should take that leading role um in the in the relationship? Or if you're not the breadwinner, should you fall back as a man? And I'm gonna start with with you, Jonathan.

SPEAKER_01 32:54

Yeah, um great thing about me and my wife is that we met in college where we both ain't had nothing. Well, we had to get our parents to send us money because I mean we had I had a job making a little bit of money, and we we both grew and grew our wealth at the same time. And you know, my wife, you know, God has blessed her to take her career to amazing heights. And she does really well for herself, but I do really well for myself too, so it's never really a thing about who makes so much money because that's my helpmate. I take care of what I take care of, and that's what we agreed on, and she takes care of what she takes care of, and we're perfectly fine in that circle. We have buckets, this is ours, this is yours, this is mine. We come together and we make decisions all the time financially with no issues.

SPEAKER_04 33:39

But you know, I mean, let's keep it real here. It's called the truth ain't in us.

SPEAKER_01 33:44

Cool.

SPEAKER_04 33:46

We we see on social media day after day a lot of wealthy men or uh yeah, wealthy men. And they control the relationship at the end of the day. And it just makes me wonder, and a lot of people wonder, like when it comes to a marriage, and I get a junior wife started from the bottom and built everything up. My husband and I did the same thing, but let's speak on you, Levon, and on you, Boyd, because you're already established, right? And you just got married a couple of months ago, and I'm not sure who's the breadwinner in this relationship who makes it the most, and with you, um, you're a successful businessman as well. When it comes to that relationship, like who takes the lead as far as and a lot of times we see men with money that they're controlling, um, and you know, it's all about them at the end of the day. Right. So how do you, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:00

Well, um, I don't think leadership is contingent upon money, in my opinion, right? Because like my wife, she's a partner at a law firm. I own a branding agency. We both do well, but there are times during the year where she's doing better, sometimes I'm doing better, right? And we end up okay. But when that happens, we just naturally cover each other, right? And as the man, I see myself as the leader. I don't care if I made one dollar this year and she made a hundred, right? It's like the leadership of the family and where we're going is my responsibility. So you'll give me your hundred and let's talk, and I'm gonna tell you what we're gonna do with it, right? If that's the case, right? So um, but she's also very smart and strong in a lot of things, too. So I think the man is ultimately responsible for the family, but each person has their strengths. So if you're strong financially, you do the budgeting, right? If I'm stronger, you do it, right? And it's I view it like a company to a degree, right? When it comes to stuff.

SPEAKER_04 35:59

Yeah, why not let her take that role? If you're better at managing money, then you take that role. Yeah, and I think it should be a 50-50 at the end of the day. It's a partnership when it comes to yeah, upcoming.

SPEAKER_01 36:11

No matter the percentage, this is a partnership that we navigate and then we both gonna grow to be a successful business at the end of the day. That's right. It's our brand. You the CEO, we co-CEOs, we're gonna we're gonna get there.

SPEAKER_00 36:21

That's right. Yeah. And for you, boys, well, I don't think it's a money issue, I think it's a character issue. I do believe. And so often in you mention social media, people are looking at if you make the most and you should control. That's or he's controlling because he makes the most. That's a character issue, right? And and I think we need to debunk the myth that you are a provider, you must do that. From I'm a I'm a man who believes in the Bible, right? I believe in God. So actually, the man's job, husband, is the one who keeps or bands the family together, right? God is actually provider. Now we're taught that you are supposed to be the provider of man. That's not biblical, actually. God is provider. You are steward as man of your family to make sure things are in line or what have you. But the burden to make sure that your family is eating and all that, that's God's responsibility. If you're in tune with God and He's gonna give you the provisions, he's gonna do what you need to do. Now, you can't sleep all day and expect. But what I'm saying is that the responsibility to say, I'm the provider. Nah, God is the provider, right? I am a steward of what God's given me. So if God's given me a wife, God's given me my children, then it's my responsibility to take part in that aspect. Some people, some men have the misconception that your only your role is only supposed to go and provide the money and no participation with the rearing of the children. So then you see situations where someone will work all day, they come home and they just want to relax, and then the the wife, unfortunately, is having to wash, cook, clean, deal with the kids, pick them up, do all the things. So it's almost like you are married, but you're operating single.

SPEAKER_04 37:59

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 38:00

And that's what I'm saying, is it it all stems to this whole thought. All of it is linked together. So if I'm just looking for the provider, the money, the all the things, nah, God is the provider, I'm the steward. There's a role that we place, we all have different roles. We're equal in terms of our value, but I do believe we have different roles, right? When something goes boom in the night, I'm not gonna say, hey, baby, can you go check that? That's right. We have a certain role. Yeah, your responsibility. Right, we have responsibility. And I think what what happens is in our society, we are attempting to change that because everyone wants to fight that. No, there's a role. It doesn't mean I'm better than you, it doesn't mean you're less than me. It's just that there is a role. And in my scenario, I always say, look, we're all partners, but there's a managing partner. I'm the managing partner.

SPEAKER_04 38:42

Yeah. Right? And so what do you guys think when it comes to, you know, when it comes to a marriage, you become you're supposed to become as one, right? Typically. And I've had some friends who have a spouse don't believe in sharing their bank accounts. They have no access to their spouse's bank account. Uh, they have no access to a lot of things. And my husband and I, we don't live like that. Everything is one. All of our bank accounts, everything we do. And yes, we respect each other because if I'm going out to do something, I'm gonna say, Hey, I'm gonna be doing this, or he'll tell me, Hey, I'm gonna be doing that. You know, we have conversations. Uh a lot of people are living like roommates at the end of the day, right? And they're marriages. I don't even call to me, that's not a marriage. You know, but um, I'm not here to give to tell them what to do in their marriage, right? But like, what's your take on, you know, when it comes to the finances in a marriage?

SPEAKER_03 39:52

Um I think anything's on the table. I think you should be able to say anything you want. You know, that's finances, that's if that's password to the phone. I mean, uh, people might not agree with that, but I love that.

SPEAKER_04 40:04

It's like if not, we're I have my husband's um access, I can access his phone, I can access every I have access because think about it, something happens to him at the end of the day. Yeah, like how am I gonna be able to get into it?

SPEAKER_03 40:17

How are you gonna handle a business, right?

SPEAKER_04 40:19

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 40:19

So and it's things like what you're asking. Like I said, I used the word sustainable. I don't think hiding things is real, real sustainable. So, because it may not be said, but uh over time your wife could say, he never gave me access to that account. It could grow resentment, doubt. Why, why has he not? You know, so over time it may seem okay today, or people may not be saying anything, but I just don't think it's healthy long term.

SPEAKER_01 40:44

Yeah. And I'm I'm running from all of those things. Like I'm running away from you know, not sharing. Like I'm over-sharing, I'm over-communicating. You got you, you can track me, you got my location. Because if something does happen, I need you to know because you're my best friend. You're gonna take care of me and make sure I'm okay, vice versa. Right. So, yeah, like I said, I I believe that it's okay to, you know, you might have an account, and this might be the account that you take and do whatever you're gonna do, and I have mine, but we we have one that we come together on, and you know, we we have plans, we plant this, and so we move accordingly, so overcommunicate.

SPEAKER_04 41:23

Boy, and I know nobody has access to your account. You're single, right? So there's no access to your account.

SPEAKER_00 41:32

But the the hope is that that someone will, right? And you move in that direction. Of course, I do business, so I mean there's there's a difference in terms of access to business accounts and what have you. But I think if you have that challenge, then why you get married? Yeah. Right? What's the point of getting married? If you have this doubt, if you think you can't trust this person, then why would you even get married?

SPEAKER_03 41:53

Don't do it. It's really selfish.

SPEAKER_00 41:55

Yeah. I'm not gonna give this person because I you don't know what they're gonna do, then why you get married? It's the craziest thing.

SPEAKER_01 42:00

You're settling at that point. You know, if I can't trust you, then I'm settling. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:03

So why think a lot of women are out here settling or lying to the other. When it comes to the relationship with their significant other at the end of the day. A lot we see that in a lot of relationships. Um we see a lot of men out here tricking.

SPEAKER_00 42:20

Now, what do you mean by that?

SPEAKER_04 42:21

What I mean by that?

SPEAKER_00 42:23

Spending money.

SPEAKER_04 42:23

So, yeah, like they meet a woman, yeah. Right? And what do they call what's what's the terminology they call it? Um sponsorship. You I know you guys have heard that. If you're on social media, so a lot of men who have money, they sponsor these women. They may fly them to another country, spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on them. I which they're wanting a purse. And I I don't know what the they want a Kelly uh $30,000 purse, which at the end of the day, that purse to me is not paying your rent, ain't is really typically not doing anything for it.

SPEAKER_01 43:05

Sitting in a closet, sitting in a closet.

SPEAKER_04 43:08

Exactly. But yeah, a lot of men are doing this now, and they're getting it. Some of them may call it an allowance. They give these women allowances, and there's no attachment at the end. Well, probably sex.

SPEAKER_01 43:23

Definitely. That's definitely coming along with a $30,000 person.

SPEAKER_04 43:29

So that's the new thing, boy.

SPEAKER_00 43:31

So, well, that's not new. That's that's always been around. I mean, it's probably new for social media, but you've always had affluent people, they call them call girls, they call them prostitutes, they call them kept women, they call them concubines. That's that's that's not new.

SPEAKER_04 43:42

Well, that's why we're talking about the men. Yeah, we call the men who do this. Judge Mathis gave it, gave them that terminate terminology.

SPEAKER_00 43:51

So, what your concern is that the men are doing it, but who are they doing it to and who's allowing it to be done?

SPEAKER_04 43:56

Oh no, my concern isn't about the men at all, it's about the women. Women who allow who allow well, this is what they want. That's the new thing. Um I sent Bridget, my um producer, uh video yesterday. This young lady was on a podcast saying how um she has to get paid a certain if the if a man's dating her, he has to spend a certain amount of money on her um daily, weekly, uh for any and everything. Otherwise, it doesn't, he's not showing that he cares about her. So if she's letting yeah, prostitute.

SPEAKER_00 44:37

Is she a prostitute? Well, what do you use it? No, no, what I'm saying is that we make things colorful, right? We use euphemistic terms. Right, right. But the reality is that that's a transactional relationship.

SPEAKER_04 44:49

Video vix and that's what the world socialized that's what it's becoming today. Everybody wants a bag. Everybody wants it's like, and they don't they don't want to do anything for it, but I guess lay on their backs.

SPEAKER_00 45:05

So let me ask you when you I know we're on a panel of men, but there are some men, there are some women that do that too that are affluent, that have boy toys and things like that. So do you ask women, or should we ask women, why do you um allow that? Why is that now the status thing? As long as I get my bag, as long as I get my.

SPEAKER_04 45:36

More often than a woman would.

SPEAKER_01 45:38

The way I see it is it's way more women than men. Like, it's like, what's the ratio? Like if we Google it, it would be like what, seven to one?

SPEAKER_03 45:48

Probably.

SPEAKER_01 45:48

And I mean, so every woman can't have a husband. Like, it's statistically impossible.

SPEAKER_03 45:54

Numbers game.

SPEAKER_01 45:55

So if you've already made up your mind that, okay, I'm just gonna do this for me, and if the agreement is fine, as long as nothing crazy is going on, like the whole situation that we seen on social media, the Diddy, you know, things such of that nature, then hey, each is their own. You got people who want to be married and be in relationships for 30 years, and you got some people who just want to have fun and never want to get married, settle down, help.

SPEAKER_04 46:18

Still have a daughter.

SPEAKER_01 46:20

Yes. So hopefully, my daughter is raised in our home and she sees what a healthy marriage looks like, and she wants to attain that for herself as well. A lot of a lot of the girls, they'll probably tell you that they didn't grow up in a uh a home with a two-parent household seeing a healthy marriage, you know. So that might be the reason why they they chose to live that life. So that's just my opinion. What's the ratio, Britt? I can't see it. 48, 51.

SPEAKER_04 46:47

Three to five million more women than men.

SPEAKER_01 46:50

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 46:51

I mean, so a lot of options, huh?

SPEAKER_04 46:53

Yeah. Absolutely. Oh. But it's interesting that you would say that this is not a new thing. It's new for social media.

SPEAKER_00 47:02

Yeah. If you look through history, that's always been a thing, right? You talked about um FDR, president in the 40s, had a quote, side person, right? JFK. People talk about Marilyn Monroe and all that. These are not new things. There's always been kept women. They had uh an apartment downtown, right? They had an apartment in the city.

SPEAKER_02 47:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:23

Away from the family, right? So that's what I'm saying. We it's not new, or grandpa who had a family across town. Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_04 47:30

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 47:31

It's nothing new. That's true. Yeah. We're making it as if it's new, as as the Bible says nothing new under the sun.

SPEAKER_04 47:36

Well, what I think is new, and you can tell me if I'm wrong, what I think is new is this con this mindset that the women have. I'm a baddie. Okay. Um, it's all about the bag, um, it's all about the trips. Uh, speaking to a gentleman the other day, he said he lost a relationship because uh he his girlfriend was like, you know, everybody's on social media. This man, their man is flying them there, flying them there, buying them this, buying them that. He was like, Listen, I'm in college. You know, um I don't make that type of money. I work. He said, Who's to know where we're gonna be years from now? But you can't be comparing this relationship to what these other women are doing. And she broke up with him, he said, to go be with someone who could fly her here and fire them, but now she's not happy.

SPEAKER_01 48:35

Ain't lose anything. She belonged to the streets, man. Get you one of the guys on the football team getting an N I L or something. I don't know, but she belonged to the streets. What's the start again? 3.5 more million women? Hey, well, you can go and find something.

SPEAKER_03 48:48

Yeah, I remember I was dating one time and somewhere. I think I dated a woman two or three weeks, and she was like, Hey, this guy DM'd me today, said he would buy me a bag and this or that, and why haven't you done it? And I was like, Why are you not on a date with him then?

SPEAKER_04 48:59

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 49:00

Like, well, we well, what are we talking for? You know, we don't we don't do the transactional thing.

SPEAKER_02 49:06

Yeah, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 49:07

I think what's changed is there's a word, now you don't have any shame. I think that's what's happening in our society now. So, yeah, that's always occurred. We're seeing it at higher levels because now the mindset is girl, do your thing, get you, don't let anybody control you. So now it's almost like we are celebrating what used to be shameful. Yes, and that's the problem that we have.

SPEAKER_04 49:30

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 49:30

Right. So no one is holding anybody accountable. If you hold anybody accountable, you feel like you're trying to hold me down, toxic masculinity, well, all the things that people say, right? Just by you holding someone accountable to say, you know, that may not be the good look, right? That may not be a good move right there.

SPEAKER_03 49:46

Yeah. And you know, all of the stuff we see is not reality, like statistically, right? I mean, I mean, the average US household is like 60,000, 70,000. That's husband and wife combined, right? That's that's the average. So the stuff we see is just what that's not real, right? That's what it's called a top 1% for a reason, is 1%. Yep, you know what I mean? Yeah, for sure. So so it's it's like that stuff is just not reality. So you just have to anchor things and and real character type situations.

SPEAKER_04 50:17

So absolutely, I I totally agree. Totally agree. So let's get to family, right? Family, religion, how that plays a part of your life. Um you guys being successful. And when it comes to family, I don't know if any of you, I know my husband and I have experience, you know, because we make a certain amount of money getting that call. Every week, somebody's light's getting turned off. Somebody they can't buy grocery, they that they need this, they need that. It got to the point where I had to start saying no. And I felt bad at first, but I mean, at the end of the day, I'm not Bank of America. You know, so how have you guys handled your success when it comes to family and even hearing some, I'm sure you've heard you think you're better than us.

SPEAKER_01 51:14

For sure. Um, for me, um, you know, you might still do that for the one or two that you really care for and you know, like really needs it, and they're gonna do the right things with it, and they actually love you, and there's no judgment zone, you know, but it just comes apart in maturity and growth, just knowing like at one point in time I might have been doing that for you, but I I've grown and I've known that I could cut you off from that, and I don't feel no type of way about it. And so um, I've been in that situation, and that's how I grew from it. It it didn't feel good because of course now you lost that person and they probably talking so bad about you to this person, that person, but at the end of the day, you realize like them people who they talk to don't even matter to me.

SPEAKER_04 51:53

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 51:54

So it's just a past. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 51:58

And I gotta take a break. One second. I have to pee. I'm sitting there like, oh no. A brief intermission.

SPEAKER_01 52:08

Right, right. All right.

unknown 52:11

Squeeze out. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 52:16

I am appreciating your comments and your reactions to your questions.

SPEAKER_01 52:21

That's good.

unknown 52:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:22

Hopefully, you're recording. Agreed to trade Jalen Brown to the 76ers. Jalen Brown. Jalen Brown from uh trade. So the 76ers. That's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_03 52:34

What's what where y'all think LeBron is going? Going stuff.

SPEAKER_01 52:39

I would love for him to go back to Cleveland.

unknown 52:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:42

Just to finish it. I want to see Swanson, like, hey.

SPEAKER_03 52:45

You think they had a team that if he went back and do something?

SPEAKER_01 52:47

Even if they don't run, like ideally win the championship, yeah. Like, I think it'd be good for him to just the king return to Cleveland. Like, they can you're brand new marketing, right? Like, you know how much money like he could bring to his hometown, his city, with all of that, the t-shirts, and how much money people people come in and purchase.

SPEAKER_03 53:03

I would, I would agree. I think the fact though, I feel like he has a lot of leverage in Cleveland. I'm reading like the little signs, right? The fact he left Bronny, right? Because I think Cleveland would have been like, bring him with me. Right. The fact he left Bronny tells me it's gonna be Golden State of Miami.

SPEAKER_01 53:17

I'd rather Miami then. I just can't going to Golden State is just like, come on, man. If it wasn't for Golden State, you probably would have already had six drinks. You know, you'd have already been there with Mike, like you've been chasing that ghost.

SPEAKER_03 53:28

So and he already like marking it a certain way. His agent is like, he's just doing what makes him happy. It's not about the money. To justify.

SPEAKER_01 53:35

So let me go hang out with my with Curry and Draymond.

SPEAKER_03 53:39

I'm taking my time on the South Beach moment. It's just, I'm doing what makes me happy.

SPEAKER_01 53:42

Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_03 53:43

And so that tells me it ain't clear. Man, that's the part that sucks about it.

SPEAKER_01 53:47

Just seeing him in that gold and blue is gonna be it's uh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 53:51

And then I forgot Miami does have bam and what uh what's the other thing? Giannis. Giannis. Yeah, I'm like, that can be something. Yep. But um, but it's gonna be fun to watch.

SPEAKER_01 54:03

If he if he really if you want to be happy, yeah, but if he wants a ring, like he if he's going for a ring, he definitely need to go to the east because the west is so loaded.

SPEAKER_03 54:12

Yeah, yeah. Go to Miami, get to the finals and see what happens.

SPEAKER_01 54:16

Yeah, yeah, see what happens.

SPEAKER_03 54:17

Yeah, but I heard they uh Washington locking up AD. So they're not gonna let that happen. I wonder why. Like he's getting older too. Like, why? Just get something for him.

SPEAKER_01 54:27

I would get rid of AD. I mean, oh how much what y'all want for him? He hurt every year. Every time I look the brother, the brother on the entry reserve every time, every season.

SPEAKER_03 54:36

Maybe Golden State don't have anything else to give. I mean, they got Butler. Like, I'm like, what do they have to give?

SPEAKER_01 54:42

The Wizards have said came out and said, we are not trading them. They already said it. So they don't want to give him up because they want to grow, you know, they chocolate city. They like, well, we want to bring the action here. And they just got the number one draft peg, and so they probably trying to make a playoff run.

SPEAKER_03 54:56

Oh, they did. That's interesting.

SPEAKER_00 55:00

Brigitte says I shoot for uh ESPN.

SPEAKER_01 55:05

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 55:08

I know A D was like, dang.

SPEAKER_01 55:10

Right. Washington? Can you imagine? And I've I love the Lakers. So I'm like watching all of the stuff, and uh he he had just built like this nice home.

SPEAKER_02 55:21

Really?

SPEAKER_01 55:23

LeBron is building the one, but AD had just built this real nice home. It's like everything custom. And then boom, trade it till they ain't gone Washington, D.C. Like, come on. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 55:39

Hopefully you don't go through what MJ went through with his house in Chicago. Where just he can never get the full value for it.

SPEAKER_01 55:46

All that custom stuff?

unknown 55:47

Right.

SPEAKER_00 55:48

Yeah. Look at this show show. We're good. Right, right, right, right, right. No, we still recording?

unknown 55:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 55:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 56:07

So family, you know, coming at you for money. I'm sure you guys have heard, you know, you think you're better than us at the end of the day. How do you deal with that as a boy?

SPEAKER_00 56:25

So what I've learned is you can help somebody for 12 months straight, for two years, for three years. The minute you say no, or you're not able to, or now's not a good time, you're the worst person in the world.

unknown 56:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 56:38

Right? And so you have to navigate that in terms of are you enabling or are you helping? And so I I usually take the position of what is the objective? What's the situation? Is this truly a need, or is this something that you place yourself in, right? Like you need to pay rent, get it, cool. So you're short of your rent money. Was it because you lost your job or because you went gambling? Right.

SPEAKER_04 57:01

They don't want to tell you that part. When you start asking questions like Bank of America, when you go get a loan, they want to know your business.

SPEAKER_00 57:08

But usually that kind of questioning, then usually they'll back away.

SPEAKER_04 57:12

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 57:13

So that's why I do it. So tell me, you know, what's going on? Again, it's not that you are interrogating them, but you want to make sure that this is not I'm not enabling the bad behavior you're interrogating, right? That's my money at the moment. Yeah, I'm not like I'm not throwing money like I work hard. Yeah, like most of us have had to grind to get it out of the mud or do whatever you had to do to get there. So you want to enable, you want to, you don't want to enable rather, you want to uh encourage, you want to uplift. So what's the reason why you now, you know, if you're calling me every two months, that means this is the same problem. This is not an emergency, this is not a mistake. This is an every month, every other month scenario. What are you currently doing? And in those situations, I can recall where someone, you know, there's someone I know who, you know, was having financial challenges, works a full-time job, has a child, all the things, but they're getting high-end seafood every weekend, right? They're they're going shopping every other week. Now, they're not directly talking to me, they're talking to someone I know, but I'm like, well, that's the problem right there. So I would never enable that kind of situation, right? You're not in, you're not experiencing lack because just your ends aren't meeting. You're destroying the ends, right? You're destroying the methods.

SPEAKER_04 58:26

I've lost some family members over loaning people money and not paying me back, or when I call, like, you know, when am I gonna get my money back? It's been two months type of thing.

unknown 58:38

No answer.

SPEAKER_04 58:39

Yeah, oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 58:41

Yeah, so you almost have to give it like you don't expect it back, right? So uh uh an older guy said it to me years ago that whenever he lends money, it's just he just figures I'm not gonna.

SPEAKER_04 58:50

Well, that's where I've gotten to.

SPEAKER_00 58:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 58:53

But I I don't loan money out things like that. But if I do, it's I'm gonna give it to them. Yeah, I don't expect it.

SPEAKER_03 58:59

And when you do that, you gotta cap the amount. Correct.

SPEAKER_04 59:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 59:03

Yes. Because I do that too, but it's the cap. Yes. Because you can't just be and I I like everything he said. I'm not even gonna, I mean, it's perfect. It's just it's just in addition to that, what I try to do is like people have to be kind of educated, right? They'll see that you're successful and they just think it's a flow. I remind people constantly, like, I got employees to pay, I have a mortgage, I got like I bump into you around my office. I gotta pay for that office, right? I gotta pay for it. There's several, there's context to what we're talking about. You can call me any given day, I'm in an office 12 hours, right? So it's kind of like I work very hard and I've done that for a very long time. Yep.

SPEAKER_04 59:41

And I guess they don't realize that you've put in the work to get to where you are today, and that success doesn't happen overnight.

SPEAKER_02 59:49

Right.

SPEAKER_04 59:50

You know, most of us weren't born with a silver spoon in our mouth um or anything like that. We had to get it out of the mud at the end of the day. And people are counting your money, they're looking at where where you live, what you're driving, and they don't understand that, yeah, but I got bigger bills.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:10

True.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:10

My bills are a little bit bigger.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:12

They are, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I always I always listen up, watch out for those people who like listen real hard too. Like they know you might have got a new deal, or you open some new, got, you know, access some new account, or you got this promotion, and now you kind of, oh yeah, big money, or you know, or oh, you let me hold something. I know you got it, or you know, so I always watch out for that too, and that's automatically decreased out of my life. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:37

A lot of people don't understand that mindset. I mean, it's context. It's like he say, big deal. You can get a big deal, but maybe that deal is over a year and there's 10 team members working on it, and there's taxes, and it's not all at once, it's context, right? It's like, and and even if you explain to some people that haven't lived it, they just don't get that. Don't get it. Right. It's not like I got this big deal and I can go to Sisflags. It's like you know, go to Range Rover or something.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:02

So who grew up in the country here? Any of you? So I knew I grew up in the country, and every time I go home, I can be in a grocery store and somebody sees me, they cause buy me a pack of cigarettes, they cause buy me a beer. It's like, oh my God, like what you're giving me at the end of the day is always you got your hands out. Like, do you experience that when you go home?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:24

I have. I went home one time and someone was like, hey, pull your debit card out and pay for my drinks. I was like, no. But it listened, I was like, no. I ain't seen you. I got one better. Ain't seen you in 10 years.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:36

I got one better. Uh one of my cousins, um, well, she actually lives here. And we went, I went to the grocery store, she came to ride with me. So she's putting stuff in the buggy. I'm putting, you know, I'm shopping, I'm putting stuff in the bug. She put I'm thinking, well, she's gonna pay for her stuff when she gets up there. Well, when we got to the register, she's like, hey, pay for this for me, cuz. And I was caught off guard. That's a whole nother thing when you're caught off guard.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:04

And then you think about it later, like I should have handled it this way, I should have said this, I should have said that. So now I've always got my guards up.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:13

Any of you, like, do you feel that way? Like you always have to have your guards up?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:16

All the time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:17

I don't. You know.

unknown 1:02:18

No.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:19

Because I mean, I mean, you can't tell me what to do with my money. So I'm very direct with it. So I I lay the foundation and the expectation right away, right? So I don't like to feed entitlement. So I think when those things happen, for me, I'm like, okay. So I make a note of it. And then my circle gets smaller, and my circle gets smaller, and my circle gets smaller. Yeah, it is what it is. And it becomes it is what it is, right? Because as you said, it's there's a difference. And I don't know how many other communities do it, but I'm I'm really passionate about helping our community to change our mindset. Right? We have this thing where we we want to all look good and smell good and floss and do all the things, but the minute that some of us get it, instead of us copying the blueprint, we now expect the other person to now hand it to us. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:07

And it's I don't know any other group that does that, right? Now, it's not all of us, I get it.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:12

But I want us to change that mentality. It's so suffocating, it's so stifling, right? It limits our full growth. So if three of us are able to do some things and then we're having to feed 15 people behind us, look at how it limits our growth. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:28

But if 10 of you would just join us in the push, we can actually have a hundred more people.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:34

But they don't want to put in the work.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:36

Correct. And and they don't they don't listen. So this this man just hit it on the head. Like, I've obtained this, whatever I've obtained. You might want to sit down and talk to that person and like put them on game about it. 100%. They won't even take the class or even try to sign up, take it. Take the next step because they just want it from you.

unknown 1:03:56

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:56

Like, I'm I'm trying to put you on game and you're not even listening. You know, so and like you said, our community, that that just might be the way. Whereas in some other communities, it's like I'm gonna do exactly what he did because he gave me the blueprint.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:08

So yeah, I think it boils down to they don't want to invest in themselves. And what I've always told people on my team that worked for me is if you don't invest in yourself, who else will? Because at the end of the day, if I'm taking my money to invest in you, you're not gonna see the worth. You're not going to see the value at the end of the day or the struggle. You haven't lost anything. That's true, you know, and I think that mindset they need to change as well. Because it's all about gimme, gimme, gimme. What can you do for me at the end of the day?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:44

Let me give you some game so you can get like me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:47

And and knowledge is power.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:48

Yeah, and you know, with respect to our community, amazing, phenomenal, talented people, generations, right, of talent, the things that we've been able to build in spite of. That's amazing, it's beautiful, right? How do you have successful families? How do you grow businesses when the laws are set up in a way to keep you down? I mean, there's no other group of individuals in this world historically that have fought this kind of fight. So it is a smaller percentage, but unfortunately, that percentage is a loud percentage, right? That's always looking to say, hey, I want to be entitled, I should get this, I should get this. We got to grind, we gotta stick together, we gotta plan, we gotta build, we gotta listen. And you're right, many a times you would sit down and you offer information, you offer game, but it's too much, right? Oh, that's gonna take six weeks, it's gonna take a month, it's gonna take six weeks to change your life. Like what? Right? But but you would go through the same thing for six years and still be in the same situation. Yeah. So that's what I'm saying. It's a it's an adjustment, it's a character defect, it's a mental flaw, and we don't hold each other accountable enough within our families, within our circles to say, you know what, I'm not gonna name Of this behavior, right? I've watched you do this, right? We all know the the uncle and the cousins who you know is always calling because you know I need to call you because my son needs to get this. Yeah, my daughter needs to get this. And every year for 10 years it's been the same thing, right? You've you've basically put their kids through school. Right, right. And we keep doing it. So when do we get to a point where we say, you know what? Enough is enough. I did it the first year. Let me show you what I've done and you can learn. And if not, then unfortunately it is what it is. And sometimes our heart takes over and we don't want people to suffer. You know, I take a different stance now, right? This may make you not like me, but I'm like, well, you know, if you don't want to learn, if you want to listen, if you don't want to take the state. Then maybe you gotta go through some suffering.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:44

You know?

SPEAKER_00 1:06:44

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:45

Yeah, you know, so and it's interesting that you would say that because I was gonna say, how are like, are you holding yourself accountable for allowing that person to continue to take from you? To, you know, you're enabling them at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:04

Oh, I don't enable. I I I tell you a real story. I had a family member one time call me and say, Hey, can I borrow X amount? And before I answer the question, I heard another family member behind him say, What did he say? What? I was like, Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Can I borrow X amount? What did he say? And I heard that and I'm like, no. Right? And that has been almost a decade trying to let him borrow a dime. Yeah, me.

unknown 1:07:33

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:34

Because it's it's it's disrespectful and hurtful at the end of the day, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:38

So yeah, me personally, like if I saw that you were like a youth, right? A younger youth, like I saw you in college grinding, you know, I saw you uh like showing me that you're trying to take yourself to the next steps, next level. Then I think if you call me and you reached out to me about some financial situation, I'd be more inclined to help you.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:57

You know, but if I see you working like some dead end job or or you know, not doing much of nothing at all, then I don't want to help. So it's no problem with me helping, but I want to see that you're, like you said, making that investment in yourself as well to try to better yourself.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:12

So we are at the end. So before we go, I do want to ask you guys what advice can you give to the younger generation, whether female or male, about owning their own business, uh education, self-worth, loving, you know, loving themselves at the end of the day, and not selling themselves short for the dollar.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:48

Yeah, I would just encourage um to think long term. So you won't start with the end in mind. Where do you want to be? Um there's young people, there are young people that would come to me and I say, well, what do you want to major in? What do you want to do with your life? Oh, I want to do this major and I won't call it out, but they want to do a certain major. And the number one thing I'll say to them now is, well, look up what the average salary is for that major. And when they look at it, oh, it's it's $27,000 a year, it's $32,000 a year. Again, I'm not knocking anybody who's in that, but that doesn't match the dream that you have for yourself. So you have to then re-engineer the life that you want. So I'll say if you are doing that from a school standpoint, if you're doing it from a business standpoint, re-engineer what is it that you want your life to end up being and start making the steps to get there. Don't look at the people around you. That's the number one mistake that people make. You start to compare yourself to other people. You think you should be further along because of this, because of that. Everyone's running their own race, right? It's about whether or not you can get it, whether it's sustainable. It's not how much money you make, it's how much you keep. So you can make 50 million, but if you spend 70 million, then you're gonna you got problems, right? So that's what I would encourage is start with the end in mind. What is the goal? How do you want to live? How do you really want to be, and then take the steps to be intentional to get there.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:05

Yeah, I would definitely encourage them to be goal-oriented. Um, be goal-oriented. And all of the, I mean, when I was growing up, there was no, the internet wasn't even there. Now you have it at your hand, you have all these different, that's that's the wave that we're going towards. So don't shy away from it. Indulge yourself in it. Um, indulge yourself into this new day and age of all of this AI and uh all of the education, in my opinion, is even easier to get now because you have so much assisted things that's gonna help you obtain it. So create goals, hold yourself accountable, and just take advantage of this new age that we're living in right now.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:43

Yeah, I would say, especially if they're young, start early and fail very quickly. You know, you have a lot of time to make mistakes. And I would say always educate yourself. What I make has always been directly connected to how much I know, right? And you know, it could be an MBA, PhD, it could be YouTube, it could be asking a mentor, what have you. And something funny happens over time when you just invest in yourself. The dots connect, right? So you're in you go from 20 and then you're 40, and then this new big thing comes and you're surprised. Oh, I can solve this problem that pays me a lot of money because I've connected the dots of all the things I've learned because I took the time to do that. So just never stop learning. People say that, but it's directly connected to your income.