Te Warena Takatāpui Talk

In this beautiful and deeply personal episode, Te Warena shares her journey from childhood into a remarkable working life shaped by creativity, education and service.

She reflects on growing up takatāpui, challenging the idea that our identities are something we are “influenced” into, before taking us through the many chapters of her career. At the heart of her kōrero is the extraordinary pastoral care she offers her learners—seeing the whole person, creating safety and helping each one recognise their own potential.

Warm, funny and full of wisdom, this is a conversation about identity, purpose and the lasting difference one caring person can make.

Thank you for listening to Takatāpui Talk with Donald Hollingsworth.

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Transcript

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SPEAKER_03 0:01

Tenakoto and welcome to Takatapui Talk, Indigenous Voices. Tonight I'm joined by the extraordinary Tewarena, hair and makeup artist, educator, mother, and proud Takatapui Wahine. We begin our incredible corridor talking about childhood and whether the characters we loved influenced who we became or simply reflected who we already were. Here's Tiwarina. We weren't influenced really. I mean I loved Wonder Woman. I was always Wonder Woman when we were playing superheroes. And a lot of the boys didn't really understand. Um, but I didn't care. I really didn't.

SPEAKER_02 0:49

I was also Wonder Woman. And um and this is this is, you know, not a fetish, nothing to do with that. But I always, you know, thought, well, if if if I was Wonder Woman, it I'd put like my dad to be incredible Hulk and my mum to be like like Wonder Woman. So I was like a version of yeah, those and how that match up. But it was I the when I grew up with the Hulk, um, there was something that resonated there that strengthened all those things. And also we think of Hulk as being a negative character, but it was all he was always a good character. Yeah, yeah. He was always a good being, so that's why he was a rescuer. Yes, he was. And that's what I sort of liked. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:33

Yeah. This is so precious. I just love it, and I love sharing this with you. I mean, we growing, I when uh I remember being six, and I used to love Farah Fawcett. I mean, I really wanted to be her. Charlie's Angels was around, and she was married to Steve Austen, you know, the Barnick man. You know, it'd be like I'd be lying on the floor watching it with my family, uh Steve Austen, and I just piped up and I said, He's so good looking. And you could hear crickets. You know, people didn't know, and my older brother, he was so lovely, he looked up and he goes, Yes, he is, isn't he, Donald?

SPEAKER_02 2:06

I was just you know, and those those are the shows like Remington Steel, but art, those were my, you know, there was always characters in me that I felt the same way about.

SPEAKER_00 2:17

Yeah.

unknown 2:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:18

Just secretly to myself, because it was really, you know, it wasn't one of those things you just said for me, because it was just like one of those things like, wow, just learning to for those emotions to stir up.

SPEAKER_03 2:28

Well, we didn't even think we were being um scandalous. We weren't when it we weren't wanting to upset people. These were, you know, like maybe today I might say it to shock people, but um back then it was our genuine feelings. Wasn't it?

SPEAKER_02 2:43

Yeah. And I didn't know when I grew up, I had never met a gay person or openly gay, or a transgender, or um you know, where it's like um any anybody to do with those genders and who's who identified in those areas.

SPEAKER_03 3:05

And and so there were no influences for you. I mean you were a bit older than you, but I grew up in the 70s, you know, 1974, I was four, and I would always wear my sister's tutu, lie in the front yard and make a daisy chain for my father who'd come back on the bus, and I'd run across the road. And just like you with your father, my dad would pick me up and I'd go, Hi, dad, hi dad. And you know, he'd be with all the people from forestry and he'd pick me up and say to me, Hello, my son, just so that people knew that I was his son.

SPEAKER_02 3:37

Yeah. It's I can I I had really good experiences like that as well. Even though I know that my father could, you know, because he was quite a rough man, sure. He he came across that way. But he sort of also had the uh the incredible Hulk feelings for me as well, because he was strong and yeah, that and protective. So that's how I how I would relate to him as being a strong character in my life. Yeah. Even though sometimes I never saw him much, you know, because it just always take off, come back, you know, take off. It was always on the move. Oh, wow. Was always on the move. Yeah. What sort of Mahi did you did he do? Do you remember? Well, he was just a he was just a labourer. So one time I remember going in there and it was just like we'd be pushing those trolleys across the train track. Okay. You know, the two people things and then we'd just go across there. He'd sort of work on those areas. Other parts he'd be just doing labor work, I don't know, you know, you'd just be doing anything. Fishing for the old people, for the co-march. You know, that's just what you did. Yeah. Everything was plentiful then. Now it's just everything cost. Yeah. But then all of the seabird bishats are network next to nothing. Yeah. Because you went out and got it yourself.

SPEAKER_03 4:57

And um so that's really beautiful about your dad. And I think, as my father did, we're we're their children, and so they love us regardless, and then just manage what people might say about us, you know, and their own way of managing it. Probably for my father just ignoring it, you know, he would just ignore it. Um, because I was his um I was his little treasure, I always thought. Yeah. That's why I think I loved him so much.

unknown 5:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:28

And I did that. And then no longer there, but you know, he was the first person I I told um that, you know, that it's well, was ready to transition. We would just laugh. We just laugh about it. We'd be thinking, so now I show him my birth certificate, and now saying, Huh, where does it say boy? It doesn't. We were just laughing because it was amazing to him that that's the that's the area I I believed that I was, and trying to get into his head that this is what I wanted to do, this is how I was going to do it. You know, they didn't look at it as being a dangerous thing, they looked at it as being very brave, very courageous, and and also because I had already created a a reputation and you know, I was always I was already educated and traveling the world that you know I stood on my own feet and I was able to do those things and be accepted for it.

SPEAKER_03 6:21

That's right. And then and and going back to our childhoods too, we were already, you were already that person. Do you you know, so um it it's not even it's not even choosing it, it's the direction that you are going to go down anyway. It's your destiny, you know, it's who you are, and I love how so your father is still with us?

SPEAKER_02 6:43

No, he he passed three years ago. Oh, did he? And he um and but when when when I went to his tangy, you know, it was just only good things that I could remember. You know, this is you know, it and this is very different for people to hear as well. But you know, I had to carry the casket with all his mongrel mob man. But the my kids just had to look around and think, oh, this is different. Sitting on the front of the pie pie with them all, and I was thinking just two two two boys sitting up there with all them, they didn't know each other. I just said, look, we're just here for this this this one on purpose, and um yeah, and that's how how I remember the finish of that. And yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:24

I I think these Mongomov men would have loved your father, and so of course you came with the father, so there's nothing but love there. You know, they were there to say goodbye to him, his pure puro aqua. You know?

SPEAKER_02 7:35

Yeah, and my mate, my dad wasn't a full gang member, but he was honorary. Yeah, so you know, on the East Coast. So he um uh he would never do colours or any patches w around us as a as a child. So you know, that's one thing I remember him doing is being respectful to us.

SPEAKER_03 7:53

Yeah, well he didn't bring it to his home, did he? Because he didn't involve views. Yeah. That's really sure. Um thank you so much for sharing this stuff because it's just it um people love it. People love understanding our childhoods and and and uh how wonderful our parents tend to be towards us in the way that uh they treat us. Um so you during that period you left school very early and you began to practice hair and makeup. Let's talk about our careers. Um how did hairdressing first find you?

SPEAKER_02 8:25

Well, hairdressing was just something that we did as kids. We just cut Barbie dolls here. I would get in trouble with all of my friends' mums and dads because their Barbie dolls would be cut if we, you know, went around there always. There would be scissors somewhere, and I would cut a fringe, or it would all go out like this. I was always intrigued by what it did every time I cut the hair. And so it went to my cousins and our fades at the time with just getting the scissors and sharing it right across the skin. But you'd cut them, yeah. But that was cool. Yes. Because it was extreme. So, you know, these boys were wearing that, and it was just like just oh yeah, no one cared. Everything was, you know, it wasn't a fade, but you know, fades were happening back then.

SPEAKER_03 9:08

And then there were no YouTube videos, right? There were no YouTube videos.

SPEAKER_02 9:13

No, no, no phones, no nothing. No, no internet, no internet. And you didn't have all these mobile phones. You when you said I'm gonna meet you at Trafalgar Square at 3 a.m. three weeks from now, you'd be there. You know, now it's just like, oh sorry, I can't make it, like how I was with you. Oh you know, but it but it's easier to communicate through those, you know, all those tools that people use now. And we rang people. We rang on a landline, yeah, yeah. Didn't we? And back then our phone number was like 543, and it was the two ones like this. And um, that's how I remember our f our television our first phones before it was this yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:57

Yeah, totally. We had one of those as well, got growing up in Nungataha, Dortua. And um, it's so special though, because we made it, you know. Yeah, we still communicated. Sometimes we could pick up from people from the sky. Um, was there someone who recognized your talent before you recognized it yourself?

SPEAKER_02 10:15

My aunties. Yeah, so my dad's sisters, those are the ones who, you know, that have always backed me every part of my career. So they did, and then they said, What would you like to do? So they took all of us cousins, the same ages, around to the Polytech and around South Auckland, okay, and and and planted our careers.

SPEAKER_03 10:37

Right. And so you are we talking about Manuco Polytech or back then it was like Hapakuda.

SPEAKER_02 10:45

There was like a there was a Neon Flair School of Hairdressing there. There was our Academy of Hairdressing in Howick at one stage that you know that they would pick us up and take us there. Those were topps courses where I privileged, you know, those now you sort of get them, but they run out of trades programs. But you know, and then um I remember Dwight through or something like that, and he was in Vic Villary. And when I saw the gallery in Manuco, and the city and it was a big selling, I thought it was so fancy.

SPEAKER_03 11:15

I remember the gallery, yes, absolutely. Yeah, that's fancy. That's when I thought, oh, that's fancy.

SPEAKER_02 11:21

So that's where I looked up at it. And I had a friend in Manuriwa who inspired me, and so um Imati ear, so he passed away a few years ago, and and he used to do his hair so amazing. Um, Alvis Queff, blow dryer and the roller brush really worked at, and that's where I really I like I love the form. I love the communication between people and the creating creating things, and that took yeah, that took is where my career took all.

SPEAKER_03 11:49

So, um, how did a young person doing hair in the mud eye brought a crane, you know, in spanning fashion, makeup, is prosthetics. So your learning moved into from here, then makeup, then prosthetics.

SPEAKER_02 12:02

I I basically not tricked my way through it all, but I was very strong. You probably did. Yeah, I did. But I like Richard Taylor from Whereder Workshop sent him out and Tuesday's words coming up. And um how did you meet lovely? Sorry, just quickly, how did you meet Richard Taylor? Because he's huge. How did that happen? Richard and Peter went to Wesley College. Um, and so they went there and I met their mother in the salon. I was being an apprentice and that became only got $30, $40 a week. Yeah, we're it's amazing you could buy lunch, everybody did. And it was um, and so we went, and then they came and telling me all about the gore and the blood and guts of fascinating. And little did I know that years later I would be working on them, cutting my hair, you know, and then and and working for them.

SPEAKER_03 12:59

Right. So that it just it just takes that recommendation, doesn't it? Because that's the magical thing about hairdressing, is the incredible people that we get to meet along the way, and then they'll your son will start cutting, you know, you'll start cutting their son's hair, and their son happens to be uh Richard Taylor.

unknown 13:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:17

And I think you'd already heard about but when I started there, just the tale of Lord of the Rings, and but you know, I never I never grew up with any of these books. Any of all these uh, you know, it was one of those ones where I was thinking, what is you know, didn't it didn't interest me. But when I got into film and I learned how to airbrush, you know, you learnt on the job. When I got a job, when I when I started there, I thought I was strong in hair, but we had to make wigs. And you know, they just kept me there. I was no good at it. You know, so I was just one strand at a time. Everyone was doing 10. Yeah and I, you know, but they took me under their wing and that I stayed under there ever since and built my career around that.

SPEAKER_03 14:00

Because, you know, practice makes perfect in hairdressing. People are like, oh, I just want to be like you if you take on a training. You're like, oh, well, you can in about 30 years, you know, it takes it's practice makes perfect, but you've got to constantly practice and you can never stop. So I bet you can whip a wig up quite perfectly now.

SPEAKER_02 14:16

Like what I can do is I can I can teach correctly when it comes to you know, quite strict tutor as well. And I'm just going, look, you would never do it like that. Some would cry. But I say that you cannot go into this industry thinking that what you've done is acceptable. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 14:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:37

I'm always one because it has to be HD ready, has to be high definition, and get rid of all those strengths. And now all of my students today have got 17 finalist nominations for New Zealand Air Awards. And that's just a testament to them wanting and having that mission. Yeah. So I see that drive in them as when I had it, I never had someone to mentor me the way I have with them.

SPEAKER_03 15:02

I think though, you know, you're learning that you did say it went a workshop and you were trained, when trained, you were working with people on the job, and then you learning on the job and then going into a structured environment and teaching that way. Because what can happen with a lot of people that are doing these courses is they still think they're at school and it's not at school anymore. You know, you're going into a working environment, you just think it's school. So you training them that way, you would have incredible apprentices coming out of it. Because that's what I struggle with sometimes with our beauty colleges, is the apprentices that come through. And it's like you're not at school anymore. This is a working environment. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:41

And even if they come out qualified, I'm always saying you'll need a good two to three years of experience. And um, that doesn't come when you're just doing all the training. That comes when you start your career in and sell on or on site on on set or but I you know, I just I was very fortunate, to be honest. You've got to excuse me moving around all the time. I'm on the floor, stretching and you know, you've got to stretch your yes, I am, and so I've just got this little table here, so it's kind of like means no one ever thinks that I was sitting on the floor.

SPEAKER_03 16:14

Well, it's because of your it's probably your positioning, isn't it? I move around a lot myself. I've always been like that. I'm very expressive. You can tell I'm not at.

SPEAKER_02 16:24

I thought, do I sit at the table? No, I'll just sit myself up here, it's all complete, and then I can just relax and you're wherever you're comfortable, wherever you're comfortable.

SPEAKER_03 16:35

Uh so the um remarkable career, like seriously remarkable, and I just love what I love sharing about you too is this whole process of schooling and training and stuff like that. Because I really I talk to these two the schools here or the beauty colleges or at Torhomai, and I was just like, they're not at school. You need to put them into the working environment. Because I've had I've had apprentice, you know, trainees come in for like um, you know, just to sort of work in the weekends, and they'll be like, Can you shampoo? Yeah, yeah, I've I I got the unit standard, but when did you do last do one? You know, and I said, Look, it's not just a unit standard, it's a skill headressing is a skill set, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 17:14

Yeah, you only need to do it three and get the unit out. I mean, it's you know, so it's one of those things. I mean, I even have to get moderated for teaching unit standards. You know, like years ago I had the a unit whatever at two four nine oh eight or four oh nine eight, but now it's a requirement. And also a lot of people don't have it. But then we had to go and get more teaching quals and numeracy and literacy and do all these other courses and and then uh, you know, because the level of uh mental health that's around now with a lot of our students, um, you need to be equipped with being able to identify those things when you know, when you you're not un when you're unsure. But if they come from school, I can read a little bit of history, but they don't they don't give you everything. And then I have to pick it up and identify that with them and and then I can see it when I look with it. This is interesting. What does that look like for our Langatahi that exists? When we're dealing with oh Langatahi today, a lot of self-diagnosed, you know, I've got this, I've got that. I'm I you know, but I I haven't been diagnosed and I just see, well, and this is uh what I used to do is I still meet too, you know, so I can relate just to make just to be on the same level. And then I go, yeah, and oh yes, I was really depressed. I said me too, you know, it's just a natural thing. And then I would build on their strengths rather than, you know, it's easier looking after someone else's kids than it is, like I'm babysitting most of the time, than it is with your own. Yeah. Because you have to be a little bit more professional with your own with with with peach chain, so it's one of those ones.

SPEAKER_03 19:03

Yeah, that's interesting. So even getting them to um bring the best out of them, because sometimes you you want to encourage people not to stay in that thought, you know? Yeah, today's my day.

SPEAKER_02 19:14

It is a very full-on thing. It's kind of like, and then like, what are we doing today? I said, Well, if you wait, I'll give some instructions. But sit down, and sometimes I'll be like, stand up, just to get them No, sit down. Yes, no, stand up again, move move seats, you know, and right, you move over there, okay. And so I could I just change their thought patterns by doing a little bit of not military style, but more of a you know, connecting with their peers. Because they get um as long as you get caught up in their little thicky groups. Yep, yep, yep and that's how they become safe. But take them out of that safety net, then they have to learn. Yeah, I've I figured that up without, you know, because I've got 15-year-olds as well. And you know 15. Sometimes I've got 50 year olds in one room of the same as 15. And 50. So it's you know, having to be respectful for the 50 year olds, then realizing they're at the same level as a 15-year-old, but not in terms of um maturity. That's the difference.

SPEAKER_03 20:22

It's yeah, so it's um Do you it's one of those things? What sort of people are coming through the course? You know, are there situations where parents are like, look, you've got to get off the couch, go and do hairdressing. I thought it was easy. It's easy. You know, is there a little bit of that?

SPEAKER_02 20:38

So I had a lot of um people who are still at school as well. Um in my last courses, I had everything from um English being a second language to not even being able to speak English. Wow. So you know, sort of having very difficult, it's very difficult, and especially with the old the elder people coming through who who English is not their first language, I had to create a safe environment. So mine is all inclusive. If I have to point it out, I point it out. If they bring up their phones, using it as a tool, the education tool, they can go through and maybe pick out words that that describe what we're talking about and put it together. So I have to create PowerPoint presentations and you know, because these aren't even though we teach unit standards, you still got to deliver in a way where they can understand to get to that that that unit standard to pass it. So it's you know, it's it's a difficult struggling, it's struggling those things can be very difficult, especially when you know you've got lots of learning difficulties. I've got also a Muslim woman who I have to protect and and partition off. Correct. Because yeah, so you know, just being respectful for them. I'm always yelling, are you all right? And then next minute they're behind the screen, walking around. I said, Can you get back a dear? Because we've got building Coming in all the time, you know, electricians checking for teams. I say, you get back into your area, please. You know, just to keep everybody safe and you know, they're just laughed now. Because they always want to do their hair and make it side.

SPEAKER_03 22:14

And what about when they're um you're assessing them? So that their models, so if they have a uh hijab, you know, and and and um what's that like? You know, because no one can see them in their, you know, because their models tend to be their family, right? People that they practice on. It does.

SPEAKER_02 22:30

It does, but not all of them wear them. So a lot of yeah, so s some do, some don't. Mine do. And it's um one of those things because in a lot of my assessments, you have to have you have to have photo evidence. Yeah. So for me, I I've learnt to navigate around the same because of practices of, you know, religious faith. Yeah. And um the differences between this and that, I've accepted it as a makeup. Or under there, she has explained what she's done. Or I get them to do what they've done on a mannequin um and show me what they've done. So I just I I I do it like that. I don't know if you you know, no one's ever come in to to because I have tepless. Yeah, yeah, you couldn't. So, but no one's ever questioned it. And the schools certainly don't come in. So mine mine are all yeah, this year it's year twelves and thirteens, and finishing their NCEA. So I'm um I'm that babysitter. So it's a bit more difficult as well. And um a little bit difficult to take on feedback. So it's one of those ones that they also get down on themselves if they haven't. I just say, listen, I don't expect you to be positive. I just expect you to participate. Okay. Yeah. So I do it like that, and then anyone's going, it's not good. And I said, Daddy, you need to stop telling me it's not good. Yeah. I'll come back in five minutes, and then you're gonna tell me what you've done. And I'm quite strict. And then I sit down and I'm just watching through mirrors. You know, we we learn to navigate through mirrors. Yes, yeah, you do. Where they don't, yeah. It is, and that and everyone else doesn't. So by the time they've looked at you, you're already seeing what they're doing on the other side of the mirror. So it's kind of like, and I just say I know what you're all doing. And then I tell them at the end of the at the end of the year, and I say, I see you there, there. Even if you put it got a screen up, I see you right there, right in that corner. And they didn't realize they didn't.

SPEAKER_03 24:29

No. Fascinating. Yes. Fascinating managing them. It's almost the course on how to manage all these incredible cultures that you get to work with.

SPEAKER_02 24:40

And this is what we often see is that no one you know, you go and do all these different courses. Like I do a lot of um personal development courses and have all these people come in and how are we going to deal with this kind of student? But until you actually get to be in the room with them, it changes. Everything you ever learn changes. And you have to change your your learning and your teaching style to suit individual needs. And they yeah, instead of just treating them all the same. I've learned to identify now when I walk into a room or that one doesn't like me. So I'm just going to leave that person there and um, I'll quit back to that person, see how they warm up. The next one will be shy. So I'll place you with someone who is a little stronger. And then uh the others a little bit their English structure, so I'll place them with someone who is bilingual. And, you know, whether it be Tido or Samoan, so they understand. Yeah. So I've learned to do that myself, and that's been my survival technique. I'm still employed today. It's hard being a tutor, an educator. You know, you do. Yeah. But I'm just the reason why I believe they leave they leave me be is because I am heavily skilled in all areas. Yeah. And I can teach across the board of our faculties. This is the thing. And um, every tutor is only specialized in one area, where I'm specialized in all of our code water areas.

SPEAKER_03 26:07

And you know what? I know that because you are do you think it's because you're a fuckerwahini?

SPEAKER_02 26:13

I I feel like because now they're asking questions like my my 15-year-olds and 16th, how long have you had your muck or coke by? I said, I said, oh, that's you know, way off topic. But then I'm relating it back to when we're doing research on tarmacor. So it's it's relevant. So I just say, you know, this all came about for this purpose, and they go, no. And then they've seen some of my content. I say, as well, make it can we do a TikTok? I say, you give me your parents' consent, I'll give something like this at the end of the year, you're all showing me how to do a dance. Yeah, of course. You know, and then that encourages I never use my platforms um to lure anybody because it's I I know that other schools do and training providers do, but mine are children, you know, so it's kind of like keeping them safe. I just say it's about safety. Yeah, but they don't care because they're all on private anyway.

SPEAKER_03 27:09

Sure. But um even though it's more I'm I'm also thinking about, you know, your incredible skill that you have with your uh learners and the different cultures that you do and the classes that you've constructed, and the fact that people aren't questioning you and they're not questioning you because there is proof in the pudding of the people that you're looking after, they're they're um they're filling the criteria, they're passing their assessments, you know, because it's all sort of a numbers game, but then you're keeping them really, really safe. So this is lots of skill that um where do you think it comes from?

SPEAKER_02 27:45

Well, Golly, do you know that you part of the time you're teaching right off the chart where you might be having to teach hairdressing, but you end up teaching about personal development around their emotions. Yes. I mean, and some people, you know, some people come to you and go, I want to do hairdressing, but I I just don't know how to talk to people. You know, or you know, I want to do hairdressing, but I've got all the stermatitis, and you know, I I'm not allowed to shampoo, I can't shampoo. I said, Well, you can't sit the assessment. So you've got to find out what how are we gonna get through that part. And um and then a great thing about what I have is I have a um pastoral care. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 28:23

But this is what I'm saying. How did you, you know, you know, the person that you are, this is incredible skills. Your pastoral care, that's not something that just happens. You can't learn it. That's what I'm this is what I'm I'm I'm getting from you. You know, you do the unit standards, you do all the things, you know, you do the professional development courses and stuff like that. So you're taking pieces of everything and then the piece of who you are. Do you do you can you see what I'm saying?

unknown 28:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:50

I do. And you know, at the same time too, I went in there with no teaching qualifications. Yes. So I was at the very lowest scale. Yes. And I'm so you're you're at the absolute that end of you know that teaching.

SPEAKER_03 29:04

And I bet they were watching you then. I bet they were watching you then.

SPEAKER_02 29:08

Yeah. They were watching everything I did, and I had to do, you know, online feedback, feedback from students. But then every year I got qualifications in every area that built up. And then my PD now is today's, and it's night and long, everyone's still at level one, which gives me a little bit more of a, you know, a little bit more of a level two, level three expertise. And um, and so I'm able to keep climbing to the very top tier of that now. So it's um it's one of those ones where I I earned that part. So I just feel the stronger I get that way and through my expertise, the stronger I become in my teaching. Difficult. Teaching is not for everybody. No, it's one of those ones that even I get in there and I'm like, what am I gonna do today? I have to read the the room. Sure. I don't know. Yeah, because I have to swap my my lessons and my delivery every day to suit the mood of the room. And that's the hardest thing. And to get them through some of the boring units. Because I'm just saying, you might pass these units, but that's why if you're here, you need to earn them. You need to show me, you know. They don't they don't have that drive like we did. You know, I'm telling them in my days, and someone said, never say that, that we were smoking on the left-hand side of the and no, no smoking on the other. Well, I was smoking with my clients, putting my cigarette down, roll brush going through their hands, and then stop, don't have a cigarette. Your fingers, now I just could not believe that's what we did. It was it was smoking in every part of the McDonald's, everywhere. They couldn't believe it. I said, We had ashtrays in the set, um, the dryers and the setting dryers, there were ashtrays on the chairs.

SPEAKER_03 30:52

Yeah, on the little chairs on the side.

SPEAKER_02 30:54

Yeah. So it's like that's and I'm it I tell that story, and they're like, Oh, I just could never imagine that.

SPEAKER_03 31:01

And then there's the personal hygiene that comes behind that. If you are smoking and you know, you need to wash your hands, you know, before you come back. And do you have a lot of students that still are smoking? And they are all babying.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

Yeah, and so I I don't ask for the baby. I say this because a lot of them are school. I said, if you're gonna do that, you leave these whole premises, you go right down the end of that rugby field, way back past where I cannot see you because I don't know what you're doing. But you can't do it on the premises. Yeah, because I'm in touch with you while you're on the premises, and I'm not gonna be in charge of that. Yeah.

unknown 31:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:38

And how and your learners, they listen to you pretty much straight away. Do they test your boundaries?

SPEAKER_02 31:44

Um, they they try to because at the same time you realize, like for me, most of mine in my direct class are all they're all female. So it's kind of I have to earn their trust for the so that they feel safe with me. But you know what? I'm quite strict.

SPEAKER_03 32:02

Yeah, you should be.

SPEAKER_02 32:03

So it's just like, yeah, very strict, kind of like a strict auntie, but also that borderline if someone's sweary, I cannot handle all those young girls sweary. So I'm like, get out. You pick pick your stuff and get out of my class right now. Yeah. And so they know they know that that's what I do. And then I cluck them all out individually. I say, and then there's phones ringing. I said, put it on speaker phone.

unknown 32:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:31

Oh my mum. I don't know who it is. Yeah, your mum knows you're in class. Why would your mother be calling? So it's just like those sorts of things. And then, you know, everyone's always gotta go because, you know, if it's one o'clock, they come, I've got my mum's meeting me outside. Tell us, I said, tell her to come in. Yeah, tell us come in. Let me let me sit let me hear her um see where are you going, you know. So it's one of those, if it's really personal, I know that that is. It's written in the notes. They don't know that the schools are writing in the notes, and I'm writing in there too. I'm saying, look, they they were 17 minutes late. Unacceptable. Follow that up, please, so I don't have to do it. Then they'll then they're looking at their attendance and then they're going, Well, how come I I'm only at 80% when I should be 90% because of all your lateness. Yeah, it all it all calculates so they understand.

SPEAKER_03 33:23

Yeah, so understand that. And but then you're also you're con you're you're obviously able to control it. And they're actually and are you uh do you see that they're listening to you? They're listening to you.

SPEAKER_02 33:35

Now they they are because individually, I don't have individual chats on them with them on their own. I'll always do it in a room. So while they're busy, I'll I'll pull one out aside, they'll set at a desk that I've set up, and we will go through the list of units they need to do. I'll get them to bring out their study guides. We're gonna go through everything to mark off what they've done so that they can see the progress and manage their own progress through that. And I say, Well, when you're ready to sit that, you need to book a time with me so that it gives them credibility when it comes to organizing themselves. Yes. I just I I push you that far, but it's now if you need to do this, you need to organize or start with this. People think that we just teach hairdressing and makeup. I have to teach cash handling, I have to teach fraud and theft, I have to teach legislate legislation and you know, people don't see that boring side. I have to I have to teach read text and analyze and and build summaries around, you know, all these different paragraphs and you know, that's most boring units. How do you make it not boring? You just cannot. I've asked every I I've asked all of the oh, I said, how do you make a hamburger sentence really exciting? And then they tell me that we were learning hamburger sentences at primary. I said, Oh, but I said, look, it's not me writing this, NCQA approved this.

SPEAKER_03 34:59

Yeah, right. Yes, yeah. And we can do this, we just need to get to it. So, uh, what would you say to a transgender or Takatapu Maori person who feels their identity is constantly questioned by others?

SPEAKER_02 35:15

Yeah, this is a big one because this I struggled this with this for five, five or so years, or mainly all my life, but I feel as though if it is being questioned by others, it's about others and the way how they feel, not how your you feel. I've I've learned to deal with the fact that they don't might not accept it. You know, not everyone accepts will accept me or me. So I have to accept the fact that they don't accept me. So I've learned to just allow them to have their opinion, and it's very important to allow others to have their opinions. We're all very opinionated, so I just realized that you know everyone is entitled and it is their right.

SPEAKER_03 35:59

That's beautiful. That's it. So it's it. Um after everything you have created and survived, what still excites you about your next chapter in life?

SPEAKER_02 36:10

Do you know what ex what excites me about the next chapter in my life is the unknowing. You know, sometimes I just think to myself, what next? Yeah. But then all these wonderful things happen. So mine is about being excited for what I don't know what is about to happen. I've got these wonderful things in the pipeline, but I just know anything can happen between before that. So it's um it's exciting. So it's one of those things. I know there's a lot of exciting things. I've just got to keep well mentally, physically, all those things, and all of those have to be that's important.

SPEAKER_03 36:42

So and how do you how do you care for yourself? What is some sort of the special whole order that you give yourself?

SPEAKER_02 36:49

So I'm watching you, you're on your feet all the time. I've been on my feet for so many years, my body just couldn't handle it anymore. Yeah. So it one of those things while I want to detect it, so how my how I'm looking after myself is mentally. You know, that means being absolutely um drug-free, alcohol free. Yeah. I am basically like, you know, I look as that's what I say to everybody. I say, I may look naughty, but that naughtiness, you know, that's like anybody's opinion. I am certainly not naughty and all the rest of them. You know, those those days are gone, gone. But mine is all about striving for personal best. And so it's um one of those things I feel like I earned it because I had put myself out there. I put myself out there online. I grew online and and I grew in person because people knew me online. I didn't have to explain myself. Yes. And I still don't. I just think I'm I built a reputation, a career, and don't know it. It doesn't take long to do some research. And find out, yeah. Like I did. Absolutely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:03

It doesn't take long. And you can't lie in this in this in is in this industry.

SPEAKER_02 38:14

Amongst the way you can't lie and and you'll this you will be yeah, you'll be well you'll be found out, right?

SPEAKER_03 38:26

Um so when your children and and and your students think of Twadinga in uh years to come, what do you hope they will remember the most?

SPEAKER_02 38:37

Um I just hope they know the resilience, the strength it took to be me. All the times I were mad and angry and all those things were built up of the uncertainty of, you know, just the development of my personal self. Nothing to do with a person if I was, you know, if I had said something a little offensive with that. It was all about myself. I can only work on myself to improve how how I would be perceived. And so I would just hope that that would be a delusion of hope, resilience, and strength.

SPEAKER_03 39:10

So we come to the final I wrap up this one. I call them fast five questions. You don't have to think about them too much. Uh first one hair or makeup, if you're allowed to choose one.

SPEAKER_00 39:23

Here is not yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_03 39:28

Yeah, yeah, that's what you're saying. I'm just saying. Uh film set or salon floor? Film set. Uh what immediately makes you feel at home? Kenna. What song will always eat you up in dancing?

SPEAKER_02 39:49

Oh, I want to dance with somebody by Winnie Houston.

SPEAKER_03 39:53

You know, and actually our audience, you should need to go to her TikTok and see her children doing that because it's just amazing. Your little girl, oh, I listen, I watched it over and over again on repeat. Beautiful. Yeah, love it.

SPEAKER_02 40:06

And that was by accident, you know, that's all that's just in the kitchen, but still, and I hear it everywhere. That will remind them of me all what long after I've gone.

SPEAKER_03 40:15

Yeah, and me too. What makes Tiwarena feel absolutely fabulous?

SPEAKER_02 40:21

By being my true authentic self, by being able to stand on my own feet, be employed, unemployable, um, you know, but I'm credible. And it's one of those things that people trust me. They trust me with teaching their children, they to trust me within an education system, they trust me out there in the industry. Um, yeah, that's how I feel. I feel credible. I feel seen, I feel appreciated, and you know, all those days of feeling under undervalued and unappreciated turned into something truly magnificent.

SPEAKER_03 40:53

And that is absolute honesty. Yeah, and I totally believe you and feel that. And this is where I keep going on of that. Is it because of who you are, why you can do so many uh you've got such skill dealing with people on a personal level and managing them, managing them, their partial care, their understanding them, but then also having a firm hand because it's the best way to keep going with boundaries, right? You know, and um certainly and you learn all of those skills in a salon.

SPEAKER_02 41:28

I learned all of how to deal with people, all kinds. We are therapists, we learn how to deal with every kind. We've got tears in our seat, someone having an affair with old Sandy across the road, that's coming in from all over the world. You've got celebrities that you don't even know.

SPEAKER_00 41:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:44

So it's one of those ones that come in and they love that you treat them just the same.

SPEAKER_03 41:49

And that we treat everybody the same, that's right.

SPEAKER_02 41:51

Yeah. With the with absolute respect. And you know, I once say to my student, before you even touch the police here, you need to respect them. Yeah. Because you're placing your hands on them and they need that respect from you first. Yeah. And on and then. And so that's what I always just like. I was saying you must respect them and make sure that they're feeling safe and secure before you're even allowed to have sell on days.

SPEAKER_03 42:16

Just so beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 42:17

Anything I could have asked you that you wanted me to ask you? Oh, you know, I'm just glad we had this opportunity because you know, you know, often you get caught up in this whole world of busyness. You're still on the floor. That's inspiring. That inspires me to think that, you know, you're still on a career that's placed you such a surrounding of you know, a sense to just being a humble person to be able to share other people's stories. So thank you. Namahi ken kine kyakwe.

SPEAKER_03 42:45

Kyoda. Kyle. Uh just beautiful. Namahi kyakue. And I'm so wonderful to have met you.

SPEAKER_02 42:52

Yeah, you too. Have a beautiful day.

SPEAKER_03 42:55

You too.