Empathy Is the Only Path to Real Influence

In this episode:

Influence is often misunderstood as persuasion, confidence, or the ability to make a strong case. Many believe that to influence others, you must convince them, impress them, or push past resistance. But what actually changes people happens much more quietly, and it begins with empathy. This piece explores why the hardest attempts to persuade often fall flat, even when the reasoning is sound. When conversations turn into effort rather than connection, something important is missing.

If this message resonates, order Ari’s new books at www.TheTrustBook.com and learn how to build trust in a way that feels natural, calm, and pressure-free.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to the Trust-Based Living Podcast. This podcast is about living a life centered on trust, integrity, and meaningful connection. Each episode will explore ideas and stories that help you align your values, build deeper relationships, and create a life that is authentic and fulfilling. Ari Galper is the world's number one authority on trust-based selling. In this episode, Ari will be sharing his new insights and ideas to help you live a trust-based life. Let's hear what Ari has to share today.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

Influence is often misunderstood. It is commonly associated with persuasion, confidence, or the ability to make a strong case. Many people believe that to influence others, you must convince them, impress them, or push your point through resistance. What actually changes people happens much more quietly. Real influence begins with empathy. I noticed this when attempts to persuade fell flat. Even when my reasoning was sound, the harder I tried to explain or justify my position, the more distant the other person became. The conversation turned into effort rather than connection. Something was missing. That missing piece was understanding. Empathy shifts the focus away from what you want someone to see and toward what they are experiencing. It asks you to slow down enough to understand their perspective before trying to change it. When people feel understood, they relax. Defensiveness softens, resistance lowers, trust begins to form. I saw this clearly in conversations where I stopped trying to steer the outcome and started listening without an agenda. When I reflected back what I was hearing rather than countering it, the tone changed. The exchange became collaborative instead of adversarial. Empathy does not mean agreement, it means presence. You can understand someone deeply and still hold a different view. What matters is that the other person feels seen rather than managed. Influence that comes from force creates compliance at best. Influence that comes from empathy creates willingness. People are far more open to new ideas when they feel respected. They are more likely to reconsider their position when they sense that their experience matters. This is why empathy is powerful. It bypasses argument and goes straight to connection. I also noticed how empathy changed my own responses. When I focused on understanding rather than winning, I became calmer. My thinking became clearer. I no longer needed to prove anything in the moment. That calmness carried influence of its own. People respond to steadiness. They trust those who can stay present without becoming reactive. Empathy creates that steadiness because it removes the need to control the interaction. Real influence is not about getting someone to do what you want. It is about creating the conditions where change feels safe. When you listen without interrupting, acknowledge without correcting, and respond without dismissing, you invite openness. You give people room to think, reflect, and choose. That choice matters. Influence that respects autonomy lasts longer than influence that pressures it. The next time you want to influence someone, notice where your attention goes. If it is focused on your argument, pause. Shift your attention to their experience instead. Ask yourself what they might be feeling, needing, or protecting. Often the moment someone feels truly understood is the moment they become open to seeing things differently. And that is where real influence begins.

SPEAKER_01 3:58

Thank you for listening to this episode on how to live a trust-based life with Ari Galper. If you would like to learn more about Ari's work, including his books, membership programs, speaking, and consulting, visit www.arigulper.com.