A Session With Mauri Haze

In this episode of A Session With Kage, the studio was graced with the presence of the beautiful Mauri Haze! What a big personality that could don't even need a joint to have fun! 

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Spotify : https://open.spotify.com/artist/5YuEvZBiI2j2XeZCEu3HJL
IG : https://www.instagram.com/maurihaze/?hl=en

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:00

But I'm gonna get you high today. Shit. I do everything and like my biggest skill set is that even though I have ADHD, I somehow manage to make sure I I remembered to do most of it. At least in a timely manner.

SPEAKER_02 0:24

Like uh finish part what you finish.

SPEAKER_04 0:28

Yeah, which is hard. And I'm unmedicated, so like I got hard ADHD.

SPEAKER_01 0:33

I honestly I can't complete a task until like he's happy to be like, you need to smoke.

SPEAKER_04 0:37

Yeah, see, and I can't do the weed, and I'm not gonna do meth, which is what Adderall is. So I just uh compartmentalize everything until I need a couple. I need I'll take like a month off.

SPEAKER_01 0:48

I ain't balling enough for Adderall yet.

SPEAKER_04 0:50

You don't have insurance?

SPEAKER_01 0:52

No. Are you poor? Yes. Go take on OHP. Actually, so I I just became poor.

SPEAKER_04 1:00

So go get on OHP right now. They'll give it to you right now. Oh shit, but like right now, tomorrow, like Monday morning.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

No, like l like literally dead ass. Okay, so I I technically I have to wait another week. So I'm le like I'm I'm separated from the job that I'm currently at. Uh, because I can't I just can't medically keep up with it. Yeah. Um so what when I had it, I couldn't apply for it because I was making too much. But also their insurance was ass. Yeah, and expensive. Yeah, so I was like, honestly, and this is probably the first year span, like year and a half span, I haven't had insurance. So this is probably like the first time I'm like, fuck, bro, this is weird.

SPEAKER_04 1:32

No, literally go on Monday, sign up for OHP, and then they'll give you a doctor immediately. It doesn't even take a month to get all the way fully done with that shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

Okay, bet, bad, bad.

SPEAKER_04 1:42

And I say that as a I'm on governmental housing and my like all the I'm on all the shit, all the help you can get, I'm on it.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

Bet, bet, bet. I don't know nobody who know the systems.

SPEAKER_04 1:52

Well, so I was married for six years to somebody in the army, but before that I was poor. And so I was on it then, and then obviously with the divorce, now I'm a single mom, now I'm extra fucking poor, and I gotta think about a fucking thing that has to be fed every day. So I just make sure the government is helping me as much as possible, so I don't have to put my baby daddy on tri support and do with him. And so I know all the systems now. So, you know, if you really need help, like I will go with you.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

Hey, hey, hey, but hey, buddy, shout out to those systems for you, because them systems save your wallet. Uh, but as I continue to roll this joint, go ahead and that is not a joint, nigga.

SPEAKER_04 2:26

Oh, are we rolling? And I'm talking about being poor. Yeah, I am not poor.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

See, see, that's the best part about this show is that we don't have an official site. We just start with a poor one. I am I am rich. Well, he's really good. He's looking at catching you at like the best.

SPEAKER_03 2:41

I'm rich.

SPEAKER_04 2:45

Five minutes? Yeah, it's like that is out of pocket. Oh my god, that is not cool. Maybe you are supposed to tell people that you're what the fuck? That's the best part.

SPEAKER_00 2:57

Why do you think people love this show? I feel like it's a good vibe.

SPEAKER_04 2:59

Is it orchestrating this shit? These niggas flash recorded me. And that's not a joint, by the way. That is not, that is way more weed than you can legally qualify as a joint.

SPEAKER_01 3:10

What are you talking about? Have you never seen oh you haven't seen my joints yet?

SPEAKER_04 3:13

I don't smoke weed, so that just looks that's like not a regular pile of weed. Extendo, extend. It's pink. I like that.

SPEAKER_01 3:21

Yeah, I wrote pink papers.

SPEAKER_04 3:22

It's my favorite color.

SPEAKER_01 3:24

Pink bong.

SPEAKER_04 3:25

Yeah, this is cute. Wait, is this you can smoke this? No. This is stuffy. That was a good form. Yeah, fuck ice.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

Matter of fact, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:33

Yeah, fuck ice.

unknown 3:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

All around, all around. Uh what's good, Stoners? Welcome to another episode of Session with Kage. I am your host, Kage, and I am joined today with the wonderful musician, artist, and all around content creator, Mariah Hayes. What's good?

SPEAKER_04 3:47

So listen, I thought your name was Cage.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

Everyone thinks my name is Cage because they don't want it's an it's an anime thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:53

Once you said Kage, it like clicked for me like that. My name is Mari.

SPEAKER_00 3:58

Ha, I know Mariah. So I read that.

SPEAKER_04 4:01

Yeah, it spelled weird because of the you, but my name. Okay, this is like real Mari Lord. My name is Marisa. My dad's name is Maurice. He ain't shit for that. So that's crazy. Ah yeah, that'll do it. That'll work.

SPEAKER_01 4:17

You said we haven't a girl? Okay. Uh that's great.

SPEAKER_04 4:21

Yeah, literally Marisa. He ain't gonna be.

SPEAKER_01 4:22

That's worse than my granddad. Damn, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_04 4:24

I went to school, like elementary school, with a bitch named Steve Yana. Fuck that bitch, by the way. She was a bully. Her dad's name was Steve and her mom's name was Anna, and she's from Portland. And if she sees this, she's gonna comment. Oh god, that was her name. But fuck you, bitch. Because you bullied me and I remember you, so eat my ass.

SPEAKER_01 4:37

No, no, no. We got Steve Anna. Front and center, please. What the fuck is your name? Stevie. You're basically you're Stevia. You're fake sugar.

SPEAKER_04 4:48

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. This fake sweet ass bitch. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:52

Alright.

SPEAKER_04 4:52

She cut my ponytail off. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:54

No, you deserve every word, every word of insult you get inside. You cutting ponytails.

SPEAKER_04 4:58

Yeah. Yeah, raggedy bitch. I be holding grudges. Like any nigga that bullied me in elementary school that tries to slide in my DMs, I'm immediately embarrassing. Fuck you, bitch. Go die. I don't even give a shit.

SPEAKER_01 5:10

I'm not gonna hold you. I love that shit. Like, I live for watching, because like I I I like to have a lot of like women as friends because like I like one, I like to see insight on like what be going on in y'all world. On like the other half of how niggas be interacting. Yeah. Cause like, but be going this long and having guy friends and hearing their half of the story. One, it's boring. Yeah, it's the same. Yep. No details.

SPEAKER_04 5:29

And they always like I was fucking that bitch.

SPEAKER_01 5:31

And then she was giving me money and letting me drive her car. And they pose it in a way I'm like, oh fuck, that's what happened in that. That's not what happened. You guys say A, B, and that's somewhere now we're at E. E and J.

SPEAKER_04 5:41

It's not making sense.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 5:42

Um they're not detail-oriented at all. Nah. I have 10 brothers and I'm the only girl. So actually, I'm I like process a lot like a man.

SPEAKER_03 5:50

Sorry.

SPEAKER_04 5:50

And behave a lot like a man, but I still tell stories like a girl. So you get like the parts that the boys say that are funny, but like with the details of a girl.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

Okay, okay. Nah, we rock, we rock with that. Because like I love hearing, I love look, men, a lot of y'all niggas truly ain't shit.

SPEAKER_04 6:05

At all.

SPEAKER_01 6:06

And actually, actually, I was actually listening, I was listening music today. I need to know who uh couldn't be me is about. I got a story. It feels like there was like this wasn't just like I'm a this wasn't just like I'm a bad bitch, or I'm I'm I'm that I'm that bitch type of song. This like sound like it was a diss song.

SPEAKER_04 6:23

Yeah, you can hear that like if you listen really closely to the ad lips, I'm like broke ass, bitch ass nigga, you need your inhaler, bitch, sleeping on the floor ass nigga. Like, so basically, I was on Tinder and I met this tall, six foot six dark-skinned man with the dreadlocks from Michigan.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

He caught you. He got you.

SPEAKER_04 6:43

Okay, so we met, but like he was here, he's an engineer. Like, good job. I'm like, oh shit, a bitch got her work.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

We're all engineers. Okay, I'm not every nigga on Tinder is a good one.

SPEAKER_04 6:51

Wait, not a music engineer, like a white people engineer, like he's engineering. Yeah, no, I'm not. No, I'm in that. They all have great somehow.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

Every nigga on Tinder has a great job.

SPEAKER_04 7:00

Yeah, great jobs. Okay, so boom, I'm like, yeah, I got me one. And we're like, it's like we're months in, bro. I mean, he's flying me out, he's flying here, we're visiting, yada, yada, yada. It's great. And then one day, his baby mother messages me. I'm pregnant. Oh, he's been cheating on you with me, and bitch, he said this, this, this, and this. And I'm just like, and he's like basically like, oh, well, you know, I did tell you that like I thought about like open relationships a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 7:28

I did tell you to anything is not when that's also something that follows means you're definitely in the wrong.

SPEAKER_04 7:34

He's a liar. So then he was like, Well, I did tell you I had thought about open relationships before, and you didn't say anything, so I just thought that was cool. I said, an open relationship implies that we're both aware, like you're just a liar, basically. And so then um, this is like crazy, nobody knows this. This this part is crazy. I was pregnant at the same time his baby mom was pregnant and had no idea. So the bitch tells me I'm pregnant, da da da. Something in me goes, maybe just take a pregnancy test. So I take a pregnancy test, and thank God, bro, I didn't have to get an abortion or anything. I went to Planned Parenthood to get an abortion, and the doctor is all, um, this baby is like not growing. Like, you're this baby is dead already. And I was like, Oh, bet. The good universe knew what the fuck to do for me. But the whole time I was with him, like, you know, he just was, you know, basically just like portray it's basically she was like, My nigga's the best nigga ever, and I'm gonna keep him. And I'm like, but he's been cheating on you, and bitch, that could never be, I would never, that could never be me. That could never be me. And so I wrote the diss song. Like, really, the same day that I went to the doctors and they gave me the medicine, I I hit up Carlos. I'm like, I got some shit to say.

SPEAKER_01 8:40

I got some shit to say.

SPEAKER_04 8:41

And yeah, you that nigga to these bitches just a nigga to me.

SPEAKER_01 8:45

That that line, that line, honestly, that that line was kind of hard. I think that was what caught me on that one.

SPEAKER_04 8:50

Thank you, thank you. You know, this project is um, I've been trying to make music like off and on my whole life, but my family really discouraged me. Like, they always would be like, bitch, you suck. So I yeah, so I mostly just did spoken word and poetry and like, you know, performed my poems. I would even sometimes record my poems, like crucify me as a poem.

SPEAKER_01 9:06

Is I was gonna say, is uh what is the one? The one about uh Portland.

SPEAKER_04 9:10

Yeah, that that I actually during like the initial Black Lives Matter protest, I was performing that.

SPEAKER_01 9:15

So that's why I think that one so that one's really like I uh and I don't know, it was a weird comparison or a weird like contrast. Uh not that when I when I heard it, it like it the notes are like where it like brought my brain was to kawaii days of Donald Clover.

SPEAKER_04 9:31

Okay. When he had big inspiration for me.

SPEAKER_01 9:34

Oh, well I was like, damn, I can nail that shit. Yeah, because the way that you spoke about it and like it's the tone and the pattern the pattern that you took when speaking about it, I felt very it was very calm and very uh calm and like like but also light in the way he did his little speech that he had he has a speech and that and that uh and like I thought it was really really cool and like sort of forced me to sit down and listen to it because it wasn't like give me this message in a way that's like in the anger that most of us kind of like convey it. Yeah and gave it to us in a way that's like I'm sad.

SPEAKER_04 10:06

Yeah, I want you to hear what I'm saying because I mean this. That's actually like 10 years old, Damnera.

SPEAKER_01 10:11

Damn, that's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy how much it still feels like it fits today, to be honest with you.

SPEAKER_04 10:15

But it just keeps happening. I mean, they're they're literally about to tear down. You know, Lloyd Center was like the first mall on the West Coast, and it was the biggest mall ever at one point, and they're about to tear it down to build a part of the city. Yeah, uh Lloyd Center was one of the first indoor malls in America, and and they're gonna tear it down to make high-rises instead of you know investing in the infrastructure of our community. I mean, like, where are our children gonna have common spaces?

SPEAKER_01 10:42

That like you can do so much with the mall too. Yeah, and it's I feel like they kind of they were it because like I went there for the ice skating. Yeah, when they had to be a little bit of a lot of people, it's uh and like just seeing people in there for that. It's like, okay, well, this is a thing, and like you can turn malls into so much cool shit.

SPEAKER_04 10:54

You can also just bring stores back, like they got rid of the stores, but there's like, first of all, I feel like right now what it is is like it's like an anime, like there's a lot of small businesses. We have comics, we have some cool ass shit in there, bro. Like, I went for Christmas and got uh got my my friend's uh husband like a fucking bunch of fucking one piece, like you can really and you know, like at the end of the day, the children is what I think about. They're closing the libraries, they're closing the malls. When we were kids, we had common places that we could go and hang out, and they talk about how our kids are chronically online and how our kids are like not having social interaction, they don't even know how to socially interact because they're on their phones so much, and it's like, yeah, because we're we're taking away the leisure spaces, like they can't go, you can't hang out outside that outside. That's loitering, you know.

SPEAKER_01 11:43

It's crazy when people like when you say kids, like people think like, oh well, my 15 and 12 are gonna try to like, but like I was just talking to my little sister, like she's just turned 20, 21, 22, this like this year, yeah. And like for to my eyes, that like to me, those are real those are still like those are some formative years, like growing up and like hanging with the homies and learning who you are, yeah, exactly. And like, and I talked there, I was talking to her, she was like, Yeah, like she was claiming, she was complaining about all dudes. She was like, Yeah, like dudes just don't know how to like, they don't know how to talk, they don't know how to socialize. And I was like, damn, I was like, for real?

SPEAKER_04 12:13

Don't know how to love, don't know how to do shit, don't know how to communicate.

SPEAKER_01 12:16

Those are those are the ones are for every. That's for every that's not that's not new. That's not new. See, but the socializing part we always had, I feel like yeah, I think.

SPEAKER_04 12:25

You know, I think like also like to note the death of common spaces, it has a lot to do with dating. Like, most people's first thought, like when I think, let me go meet somebody, or even if I'm trying to like, listen, I ain't no fucking fake and flodgered ass. Bitch, if I'm trying to find somebody to fuck, my first thought is to go to the bar. These kids' first thought is to go on the internet to a person they have never seen before. They don't know if this is what they look like, they don't know shit, and they're gonna go meet them and link up with them. And Hobson has a song called Sexy Cyber. The bitch dies in the motherfucking song, and that's all I think about every time I get on Tinder or anything, like I forgot Hobson existed. Yeah, I might die in a fucking Denny's parking lot. I don't know, you know, because she like I mean, not dead ass.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

I feel like, yeah, like you get you get on, you get online and you start looking like you start swiping and swiping, like, oh, I like this girl, these girls. Like, there's no real like because I remember having a girlfriend like I have to muster up courage, I go talk to a girl tomorrow real quick. Or like trying to get like trying to learn like what are like the body language thing was saying, come dance over here with me.

SPEAKER_04 13:21

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 13:21

Like that shit's gone.

SPEAKER_04 13:22

They don't know. I mean, even like I have younger guys try to hit on me all the time. Like, I'm I'm 28, I'll be 29 in June. When I say younger guys, I mean like 25, 26. Yeah, these men are so motherfucking aggressive. Like, still, where is the suave A? Like, they're like, hey, bitch, you think I'm fine? Is you finna be my ball? And I'm like, yo, you're the niggas finna say that shit? Yes. You some fine shit. That was a joke. You some fine shit. You trying to be my ball.

SPEAKER_00 13:45

I thought ball was an online joke.

SPEAKER_04 13:47

What the fuck? Niggas are using that shit in real life. Balls, property. Like, I don't, I've never heard that. I real life shit. That's real life shit. Like, and I'm freshly on the market, right? I was married for six years.

SPEAKER_00 14:01

Oh, so you're like, you're you're you're in shell shocks, the trenches.

SPEAKER_04 14:05

I feel like it's World War III, bro. I don't even know. Like, it's really, it's it's scary. Like, um or niggas will I had a nigga like he was probably old enough to know like some body language things. I told him on the street, I'm leaving work, but I'm in like a crusty ass sweatsuit. And I'm like, hey, bro, I like your pants. Let me miss some rock star pants. Like, those are cute. I walk, I get into my car, close the door. I'm I'm like texting at this point. He walks up to my window, like, let me take you out to dinner tomorrow. So I'm like, okay, like this is the most forward someone has been in a respectable way in a long time. So cool, here's here's my number. The same night, he like, let me slide to your house right now.

unknown 14:43

Damn.

SPEAKER_04 14:43

What happened to the big thing? What happened to the big thing?

SPEAKER_01 14:46

He was halfway there.

SPEAKER_04 14:47

So close, but no cigar.

SPEAKER_01 14:50

You know, I honestly somehow I do think that like YouTube is low-key responsible for some of that shit. Cause like I remember growing up, like, I would have to like ignore, like, oh, charisma. Like, I I I can remember some of the titles, like Charisma on Command, yeah, and dumb shit like that. And be like, and always be like some dude be like, well, you gotta do this, this, and this, and say this, and then when you get home, now I can do this. Don't respond for three days to be like, what the fuck? And like and like it's crazy because like I grew up, like I don't know if you ever watch Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Yeah, of course. Uh, you remember the Dennis Method?

SPEAKER_04 15:19

No.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

Good. Well, actually, no, not good. You should. That's it. That's a it's it's a very important thing that guys remember all too well for all the wrong reasons. Uh I think sometimes people people forget that shows like that are satire and it hit people in ways like people don't understand satire anymore. You're kind of right. I think people forget that like the reason why they have this character on screen is because yes, they're real. But they're just you don't want to be a good thing.

SPEAKER_04 15:39

You're laughing at this guy.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

So Dennis has a method on how he gets women.

SPEAKER_04 15:43

Oh, you said Dennis. I thought you said dentist.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

Oh, yeah, no.

SPEAKER_04 15:46

Explain it to the people though.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

So then so the Dennis method, if you haven't watched this episode of Always Sunny, is basically um you meet a girl, um, you get into her life, but then once you do, uh, you start causing you orchestrate troubles. You orchestrate troubles. That means you can set someone up to get her robbed, you know, knock on her door, you know, be do some weird shit. And you come in like a superhero. And now she has now she's clung to you for whatever reasons, and now you have this weird control over her. That's the idea of the fucking tennis method. It's a fucking supervillain's story. But that's really how niggas are. And it took me, it took me hitting 2021 and found it or like for it to click like, oh, y'all really seriously, like, y'all mean this shit.

SPEAKER_04 16:24

My homegirl's ex-boyfriend put a nail in her tire so that she would like they were on no contact. He put a nail in her tire so she would call him. And the nigga's stupid because she caught him on the ring camera.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

How? Like, where? How you know?

SPEAKER_04 16:40

I don't know. That's I don't want to rag on niggas the whole time though, because I do have 10 beautiful men in my life that I love. I have a single father who he did a shitty job, but he raised me. I love men, but y'all do need to tighten the fuck up just a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 16:53

You know, talk talk on talk about people. I like talking to strong people, but I don't get to do it very often. Yeah, it's fun.

SPEAKER_04 16:57

It's a girly thing. We're having a lot of people.

SPEAKER_01 16:59

It's one of the moments, one of the moments. I love that shit. I don't mind.

SPEAKER_04 17:02

I can talk shit about niggas all night. I just want the niggas to know I love them.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

But your your music is very, your music is very like very bolsterious too. So I feel like it kind of invite it invites that moment.

SPEAKER_04 17:10

Yeah, but I'm that kind of like, you know, since I was a little girl, like I mean like kindergarten. Like I've had people be like, you need to shut the fuck up. Like you are so loud, you are so like you're taking up the entire room and you just need to stop. And I'm just like, bitch, I can't fucking help it. So it makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

And it's funny because this project is about to come out on the 18th, but I actually have one coming out like this is gonna be on uh it's like uh uh Witch O Triflin A. Yeah, which are Trifling? I remember I remember the Trifling part because I should that's the part that got me.

SPEAKER_04 17:38

My name is Triflin Ass Mari, because I'm a little trifling. So, like if you look at my Instagram, my name is Mari Hayes, but like my subname is Triflin Ass Mari. Okay. Yeah, um, and so it's coming out on the 18th, but I have another project coming out like very shortly after that. That's like way more alternative. But it's like I can't help but to yell at people and be like loud and like, yeah, I'm that bitch. So even in the alternative project where I tried to be like on rock shit. Yeah, but I actually that's what I listen to.

SPEAKER_01 18:05

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_04 18:05

Yeah, so I'm a hip hop artist, but I like alternative music. I like rock music. I actually like country. I have a country project. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 18:12

So who's like kind of like who's like your inspir, like who's like your inspiration artist that you like be listening to? That's like that's let's like even though you can tell you're a melodic rapper, usually they also listen to rap. It seems like you with the stuff you have, it seems you listen to like more like a Cardi and like every now and then.

SPEAKER_04 18:26

I like Cardi, yeah. Okay, so I would say I love Cardi actually, but I would say I like Deuce, I like Little Peep, I like X. Oh shit, those are like modern people that I like, but I like Avra Levine, um I like Kurt Cobain. Um, let's see. Listen, like as a kid, I really listened to everything. So look, I'm like, I liked Avra Levine, but I also liked Lauren Hill. And I liked Little Wayne, but I also love Daughtery and Nickelback like bad. I like Buck Cherry. Um, I really like um, oh fuck, why is their name escaping me? I've been looking for it the whole time I'm naming these other people, but um, they have that song like Fly Leaf. I really like Fly Leaf. Okay. Like, I can feel you all around me. She had throat cancer, and Jesus cured her throat cancer. And then she went from a Screamo satanic singer to a Jesus singer. And I don't really believe in Jesus, but if that works for her, fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:17

Hey shit. I feel it. I'm I'm hey, whatever for whatever get her healed.

SPEAKER_04 19:21

I performed Tracy Chapman at a lot of my school uh talent shows. I like Miranda Lambert a lot. That's country, um, Kenny Chesney. Um, you know, the first time that I knew black people could do uh country music was um Big and Rich. Really? They have a song called Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy, and it's like a country? Yeah, country hip hop fusion, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:44

Which is crazy because like I don't like Shabuzi. Really?

SPEAKER_04 19:47

I'm not gonna lie. If you're gonna make a country song, nigga, don't steal some other nigga's whole.

SPEAKER_01 19:54

When you say honestly, when you say I'm uh like because I'm kind of new into into accepting like more country songs and country music, but some of the collabs like some artists have done. Uh I also don't consider that country. Okay, well it's a hip hop song on a country beat.

SPEAKER_04 20:08

You took the hip-hop song and put it on a country beat. But like, I kind of like that shit. It's cool, but make your own hip-hop song on the country beat. Yeah, big and rich did it.

SPEAKER_01 20:15

Like they I don't even know. So it was crazy, I don't even know what he's copying.

SPEAKER_04 20:19

One, here comes to two to the three to the foe. Oh shit. Wow. One, here comes the two to the three to the foe. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

I don't know how to hate him because I don't even listen to his music.

SPEAKER_04 20:34

Yeah, one, here comes the two to the three to the foe. That's wild. Yeah, he stole the entire the entire song. He gotta write his own right now. That's insane. That's like taking six foot and putting it on a fucking country beat.

SPEAKER_01 20:45

They do that already. YouTube is full of that.

SPEAKER_04 20:47

It's ugly though, and like he got famous off of it. So I just like for example, like I did bring up Big and Rich, which is like um the first time I ever heard hip hop country like fusion, and I was a child. They have a song called Come Into Your City. And like that shit is hard. It's it's like actually really fucking hard. Like, if y'all don't listen to country, bro, I'm putting y'all on right now to some real cool shit. But like, you know, they made all those lyrics themselves. And I think if you're gonna like fuse a genre, like Little Nas X did a great job fusing a genre. Like, you know, I mean, and they tried to really knock him and not give him his country credits, but that was a motherfucking country song. Yeah, no, that should that was that was a motherfucking, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:23

Okay, so like I don't know, like I feel like as long as it has like their like as long as it has like there's like a certain thing, say nothing too crazy because the white people gonna get you about it. As long as like a certain like twang, like a certain, I want to say twang to it.

SPEAKER_04 21:33

But how you I feel like the twang isn't what they look for. So like banjo, fiddle, like there's certain interest instruments, I don't think there's core instruments you should have that they consider if you don't have that, you can't even get the country award.

SPEAKER_01 21:44

Um I'm tentative to say I'm usually tentative on any uh music category to say subject matter, only because I feel like there are always outliers. I mean, when you say subject matter on in within a genre.

SPEAKER_04 21:54

No, no, wait, hold on. Let me let me tell you why that's incorrect.

SPEAKER_01 21:57

Okay, no, I'm I'm here for you.

SPEAKER_04 21:59

You can cry. To any genre, there's a song that you can cry to in any any fucking genre.

SPEAKER_01 22:06

I've cried to plenty of niggas spitting bars.

SPEAKER_04 22:08

You know what I'm saying? Like that, that that's why it comes down to like instruments for real and cadence. Because like I could write lyrics right now. Like I could write a lyric about being sad. Like, you broke my heart, um, you went too far, um, and now I'm alone in the dark. I can rap that, I can scream that, I can, you broke my heart, you went too far. You know, like you can so it's like it's not about subject matter, because like you could be a rich nigga in any genre, you could be a broke nigga in any genre, you could be a struggling motherfucker in any genre, and you can always be a heartbroken bitch.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

Okay, so for you it's more like it's it's it's it's as simple as like the the elements that make that genre.

SPEAKER_04 22:47

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:47

Okay, no, I'm with that. I'm kind of with that.

SPEAKER_04 22:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:49

Because like that, that's why I think that's what holds me back because I feel like people always gonna say, well, what are they talking about in the song?

SPEAKER_04 22:53

I mean, unless you're talking about Shuck and Hay, like she thinks Matras.

SPEAKER_01 22:57

No matter how you no matter how you talk about Shuck and Hay, I'm putting that in cut. You're gonna wrap that bitch as a cunning.

SPEAKER_04 23:01

Well, actually, Ludacris, Ludacris has a song where he says, um, jump down, turn around, pick a bella cotton, jump down, turn around, pick a bella hay, oh lord it, pick a bell of cotton, oh lore, pick a pillow of hay. He's it's a not it's like obviously like that's an old Negro spiritual, but that's not a country song, that's a hip-hop song. So again, it can't be subject matter. It can't be subject matter.

SPEAKER_01 23:25

Ah, you're right. Ah, damn, damn, okay, yeah, it can't be.

SPEAKER_04 23:28

And I feel like because I don't have that much music out, and the music that I have out is kind of boom bap, people probably wouldn't know how educated I am on music. But before I started putting my music out, like I told you guys, I've always wanted to be an artist, but I used to be like, I hate saying shit like this because it makes me sound like such a terrible, treacherous bitch.

SPEAKER_01 23:44

But I used to be in the studio with like some of everybody's favorite artists, and that's what how I learned really a lot about music is like being a young girl who is chasing you know certain things, and I'm in the studio and I'm what's honestly that's crazy because I think that's a that's a realistic, that's just a realistic take on like the I think your story is like sort of evidence of where the landscape of hip-hop is kind of gone to. People are like, oh, where are all these like women in hip-hop coming from? And blah blah blah. I was like, Y'all niggas create like y'all niggas really made them like y'all, y'all brought them to the studio, y'all little listen to y'all shit. Y'all y'all had you've had women help y'all niggas on bars. Yes, literally. And so, like, well, like, so like I mean actually, tell me about tell me a little bit about that. Cause like, you know, I it seems like you do I imagine you write for yourself. Yeah, like I write all my own bars. Before you got into like you're writing your own music and city and stuff like that, like what got you to be like, okay, I have a pen for myself. Like, how'd you get there?

SPEAKER_04 24:29

I actually have been writing like full form poetry since like the second or third grade. Since I knew how to write, even when I couldn't spell the words properly, I've always written. Um, so that's bold. Um, I wanted to publish a book, like fresh out of high school. I got the EWesley scholarship for writing. I'm like a writer for real, but my dad is a hating ass bitch. And so I was supposed to turn in like all my writing so I could get this college scholarship. And he threw, I mean, like year, like second grade to the end of high school, like all of it. He threw it all away. And that like fueled something in me. Like, I'm never gonna put shit on paper again. Now I I do write, I'm not a freestyler. You will not catch me freestyling. As much as I love the art of it, something in my brain always says, like, I'm not writing it out, so it's not gonna come out correctly. I feel that. But so I've always written and poetry is like the you know, basis of music. And um I wanted to rap and I wanted to sing. I always did, like always. But my like I said, my family, they would be like, um, you don't have no rhythm or you can't sing.

SPEAKER_01 25:30

So I just never that is the blackest insult I've ever heard. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:37

Yeah, you got, you know, and and actually that's because I think it's a confidence issue and not a skill issue. Um, but like I do struggle with rapping on beat. I have to use a reference track sometimes or like write to this, like listen to the beat 13 times before I rap on it.

SPEAKER_01 25:51

No, actually, so it's great. You're not the first person I've heard say that before. Yeah, like there's people who I know who they they rap really well, they make really good songs, or even just when it comes to freestyling, they're really, really good at it. And now is when they tell me that, I was like, what do you what do you mean you can't be on the case? It's a confidence thing.

SPEAKER_04 26:06

It's a confidence thing. Like, okay, so imagine for me, it's like jump roping. Like you're double dutching. Imagine you're double dutching and you're waiting for the time to jump in. I cannot figure out for the life of me if it's safe to jump in.

SPEAKER_01 26:17

That's an easy understandable one for me because I can't.

SPEAKER_04 26:19

You're trying to think of when to jump in. You're in and out, you're in and out, and you just can't find it, you know? So that's never good. Yeah, that's it. So that's how it is for me. So, like, if I don't feel confident enough, I'm not gonna jump in. So, but okay, so back to like, yeah. So basically, I just always wrote, and then one day I just was like, let me just at least record my poems. So that way, like it's not just at these open mics, like people can listen to them if they want to.

SPEAKER_01 26:42

Yeah, like there's some content out there.

SPEAKER_04 26:44

And I went to Carlos. Carlos at the time was my my like ex-boyfriend's best friend. So I went to Carlos and I'm like, hey, Carlos, I know this is very strange, but I need you to get me in the studio. Um, and he gets me in the studio, and we we're we're trying to make the beat for Crucify Me, which is my first song that I ever actually like put out. And it's really just flowetry, like it's still a poem. I'm still like saying it over the beat. Um, but I'm like, yo, I love the weekend, and I would really love to have like the birds on this beat, like the birds by the weekend. I want that on the beat. So can we do that? And so we record that song, and it's the first time that I record a poem that sounds like a song. And I'm like, well, I did that on beat. Like that sounds good. It's really slow, but like it sounds good. And from there, I was like, fuck it. And I started writing and I started writing, and then I got married. So because I got married, I left Portland. I was gone for six years, and my husband was one of the people that were like, You're too loud, you're too like you're not gonna let you practice. I was not recording, I was not modeling, and modeling is my first love.

SPEAKER_01 27:47

So it's like I was gonna say, because I know I know you do a lot of other congregations.

SPEAKER_04 27:50

I do everything, but yeah, so I wasn't right. He basically told me, like, your job is to like be a stay-at-home mom. And so, like, yeah, um, I wasn't doing anything, and it was super fucking depressing. And so when my divorce got finalized, and I felt like I felt like a literally like a caged bird who got free. And um, the first thing I did when I got home was hit up Carlos because he was who I knew could record me, and it was still weird because he's still my ex-boyfriend's best friend. But I'm like, Carlos, you're the person I know. And Carlos ghosted me for three fucking months because he didn't want to be weird, like he didn't want to make it a situation between him and his friend. And then finally I was like, look, bitch, you're not gonna keep ignoring me. Like, we're not gonna do this. Um, I live really close to you. Can we please fucking record? And I got in the studio and I just haven't stopped. And I've been just every single day, just like in the studio. Now I have a studio at my house. So oh shit.

SPEAKER_01 28:39

Hey, them home studios is booming.

SPEAKER_04 28:42

My home studio, shout out to Carlos. Carlos is my manager now, guys. So that's a love story for the books.

SPEAKER_01 28:48

Um but that's dope. That's dope. He's my best friend. Just y'all know that's see there, there are good reasons as to why bro code is stupid.

SPEAKER_04 28:54

Yeah, yeah. Because like now, me and him are very like he's literally my best friend. Like, that's all right. He's my manager, he's my best friend. Um, I help him with the content part, he helps me with the music part, and it's like a great business partnership, you know. Um, but he invested in my studio. That motherfucking studio is noise. I ain't even gonna hold you as a good studio. You just yeah. So um, yeah, that's what I do. I just like try I just try to make art. It doesn't even matter what it is. Like we were saying, I do as long as I can make art, I'm like happy. Like if I if I can't, that's it. Like if I was in jail, I'll be colored all over the wall. I can't I would learn how to draw.

SPEAKER_01 29:27

Coloring in jail. Okay, I mean that that'd be cool too. Uh yeah, because even when I was looking at it, I saw you said your model, uh, you know, nail tech. Um I do tooth gems. Tooth gems, okay.

SPEAKER_04 29:38

Yeah, so you have beautiful teeth. If you want one, let me know.

SPEAKER_01 29:41

Alright. I might, I might, I might look into one. I might look into one one day. Uh I'm I'm weird about jewelry. I'm not a big jewelry dude. Even my accessories are all very little and like everything. It's tiny, you won't even feel it.

SPEAKER_04 29:52

It'll just be like on the camera.

SPEAKER_01 29:54

Like a little uh yeah, like what so like wow. Have you like always have you always just like wanted to get to music or are you kind of like kind of like y'all think through a different creative uh creative option to say like what your niche was really gonna be?

SPEAKER_04 30:13

I've always wanted to do everything.

SPEAKER_01 30:16

That's not a bad idea.

SPEAKER_04 30:17

Since I was a little girl, like I learned how to use a camera. Probably at the same time I learned how to write like second grade. My uncle Grover, that's the one who just passed away. He taught me how to use a computer. I mean, he taught me how to use a camera. Um he taught me how to whistle. I can whistle full songs like all the way through. Uh yeah. So since I was a little girl, I would just literally, people would be like, oh well, who are you? And I'd be like, I'm Marissa Golden, and I'm gonna be famous. Um and I did commercials like Skippy Squeeze commercials, like whatever, as a kid. Like I've always just wanted everybody to know who the fuck I am. Like, honestly, bro, the embodiment of like an attention whore, that's probably exactly what I am. Except for I'm not like, I don't want regular people's attention, bro. I want everybody to know me.

SPEAKER_01 30:56

No, you wanna you wanna leave a mark.

SPEAKER_04 30:57

I want to be a household name. Like I wanna be Michael Jackson.

SPEAKER_01 31:00

Okay, no, that's lit, though. That's I mean, I can always tell because like you're you definitely like have a lot of like cool shit. Even like, I mean shit, we didn't get to mention earlier, uh, but you got a podcast out now.

SPEAKER_04 31:10

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:11

Like that's really dope as fuck. Um, so like how that how'd that come to be?

SPEAKER_04 31:15

Okay, honestly, bro, I had a podcast for myself when I was living in Georgia called What's the Horror One One? And I would interview the world. I would I would interview sex workers. I would interview sex workers and rappers. I would ask the rappers about the sex workers. I'm asking the sex workers about the rappers. I'm on the street asking niggas their craziest ho stories. Like I'm really having fun with it, but my husband did not like it. So we shut the podcast down. What the fuck? And then I was talking to Tech over at Backrooms, franchise PDX. We love you, bad tech. Um, I was talking to Tech, and he was telling me, like, I think I'm gonna be starting a podcast soon with this dude named Spaz. And now the crazy thing is, I went to elementary school with Spaz, but I did not know who the fuck Spaz is because bitch, I went to elementary school with you. We wasn't calling you that in elementary school type shit. So he posted, like, I need uh a co-host for my podcast, hit me up. And I messaged him and he was like, actually, this is perfect. And that was it. Like, and then I met Spaz and I'm like, hey, I think I know you. And he's like, Oh, chill out with the bitch word. And I'm like, my bad. And I'm like, yeah, you went to SEI, you went to Jeff. He's like, Yeah, I'm like, Yeah, me too. And I really, really, really love Spaz, but that nigga gets on my nerves. Like, when we're arguing on the pod, y'all, that is genuine. Like, we do not agree on shit, like anything. So, yeah, and we've got I love that.

SPEAKER_01 32:34

I love that, I love didn't even disagree with some podcast.

SPEAKER_04 32:36

We've got some good chemistry. Like, he thinks R. Kelly is not guilty, and uh excuse me. I think Diddy wasn't that bad. So look, okay, Diddy was terrible, but if you go I don't even know which one to tackle first. If you go to 32 Diddy parties, you wanted to get diddled.

SPEAKER_01 32:52

He wasn't there, or he's not here, so focus on your problem. Excuse me?

SPEAKER_04 32:56

Okay, but listen, it's Diddy was terrible and he beat bitches and he was gay. Cool. We love gay people. We don't love gay people.

SPEAKER_01 33:03

Those things are my problems.

SPEAKER_04 33:04

We don't okay, but here, hear me out. If you're um going to like not everybody that went to the Diddy parties wanted to get diddled, but I'm sorry. If you went to 32 Diddy parties, bro, you knew what the fuck you was going for and you liked it.

SPEAKER_01 33:16

The people the the people that he brought that he hired were hired to be at Diddy parties. We all want his guests to also be in the same trouble that nigga in, too. Yeah, I mean, he also picked that girl up and down a hallway. He was beating her ass. Now that is wrong. And that was that was the most comfortable time. That was not time. Everybody in the inner in the things. Diddy is terrible. Oh, yeah. I remember one time he beat this. Diddy is terrible. I remember another time this beat. He blew up Kid Cudi's car.

SPEAKER_04 33:44

That's what I'm talking about, who got beat up and down the hallway. But let Cassie, but listen. It is Cassie, nothing. But listen, but hear me out. Diddy is treacherous. But if you went to 32 Diddy parties, like I said, R. Kelly is worse than D P. Diddy because R. Kelly was dealing with children. That's all I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 34:01

I can I can agree with you there.

SPEAKER_04 34:03

Like you're diddling children, not diddling a grown-up who has used.

SPEAKER_01 34:06

But like, is that like is that really a good line to like draw?

SPEAKER_04 34:10

Yes. As a mother with a child and a bitch who's been to celebrity parties. If I went to the celebrity party.

SPEAKER_00 34:15

They're getting my question wrong. I'm saying all these niggas is on the same side of the city. They're all terrible.

SPEAKER_04 34:19

Yeah, they are. But like, if I go to a party, put my phone in a bowl, and head to the back room and accept drugs.

SPEAKER_01 34:26

You're gonna accept drugs from Diddy?

SPEAKER_04 34:28

That's what they were doing. They went to the party, put their phone in the bowl, took the fucking drugs. They they, you know? I mean, okay.

SPEAKER_01 34:35

I've been to a celebrity party. I was literally just gonna say, on its face, that sounds like just a celebrity party. Exactly. But everything else after, that's different.

SPEAKER_04 34:42

Okay, but if you're but that's what I'm saying. Like every time I've gone to a celebrity party, I knew in the back of my brain. Were there multiple male men hired to with in the back of my brain? I always thought this could turn into a very shitty situation. And so you have to be on your P's and Q's, you know? Like you're choosing to do that. And that's it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_01 35:01

Hold on. I reali I realize the problem now. Your focus is on everyone else. Fuck everyone else. We're talking about Diddy. Diddy's an evil piece of shit. Okay, that that's that's what we're getting at.

SPEAKER_04 35:10

But I don't, I think out of all the things that he was the thing is that people made Diddy parties the big deal. They weren't the big deal. Like when you talk about Diddy, they talk about baby oil and okay, I agree.

SPEAKER_01 35:20

Yeah. Diddy parties weren't a big deal. Him beating women and raping. Yeah, like you know. Everything else that he was on trial for, yes, I think. That's the point that I'm making. The problem.

SPEAKER_04 35:30

Yes, but they but all we talk about, we infantilize the Diddy parties. Them motherfucking grown ass people knew they was going to the motherfucking Diddley Diddler party.

SPEAKER_01 35:38

I think unfortunately, like, I think because like mostly like dudes control a lot of a lot of that conversation, and like they're focusing, they're focusing on who Diddy is and his legacy. Fuck his legacy. No, I mean I don't want to say all those thunder. To you men, fuck his legacy. To them, all that stuff is legacy. Yeah. And like are Kelly pissing on people is legacy. And I've come to learn at uh at this young, at this young grown age, that uh a lot of that like that coping with like coping for someone else, yeah, also means you're coping for yourself on something that you're doing that's very, very similar, it's not one for one.

SPEAKER_04 36:09

Well, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 36:10

Uh I agree. And like that's where like usually I'm like most dudes who agree with or are fine with Diddy, I think I have a story to tell.

SPEAKER_04 36:21

I think that's another thing, too. Like I told you at the beginning of the pod, I have a lot of brothers. So when I think about these evil, evil fucking men, my brain automatically is like empathizing with them. Like he probably had some real trauma to be raping and beating people, but like I'm working on that in therapy, guys, because I be saving niggas that are like that too, and it's not cool. Like, oh, he just only slapped her one time. No, he probably heard his own.

SPEAKER_01 36:48

I mean, honestly, it's that's not your fault. That's men's that's our that's our fault.

SPEAKER_04 36:51

That's that's our you know, like that's me. Like, I have a strong love for men, and I understand that men are like not allowed to feel their feelings a lot of time, which fuel these angry outbursts, but like also, bitch, you're grown. Like, I'm not out here slapping every nigga that grabs my ass without permission, you know. Right, it's just you know, so it's still assault. Yeah, so I'm I'm working on that. So, like, that is probably where I'm coming from on the Diddy issue. Like, well, these other people were grown and wanted to be there, but it's like but what about him, yeah, blowing up a nigga's car? Because if my ex-boyfriend blows up a nigga's car because I don't want to fuck with him no more, like I would be fucking traumatized forever. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 37:30

Yes, that's that's that's I don't I don't I I don't know how to get that mad. I don't even know, like, what are the steps one takes?

SPEAKER_04 37:41

Never throwing a nigga's clothes out, I'm not gonna put somebody's car.

SPEAKER_01 37:43

I'm saying though.

SPEAKER_04 37:44

If you are fucking me over, bitch, that's it.

SPEAKER_01 37:46

Not even like, and like I don't mean like, oh yeah, like like it was allowed and like I bumped something and like it broke. I mean like how do you plan it? That's a plan.

SPEAKER_04 37:54

Yeah, like I have friends who pull up to niggas' cars and beat them with bats. Like, bitch, you were mad. You let that nigga get you mad, mad. I would never get that mad at a nigga. I'll laugh in niggas' face before I beat a nigga's car up. Like, you're punching through the you're breaking up.

SPEAKER_01 38:06

But then also, like, you have to think about how to not get in trouble when you did that too.

SPEAKER_04 38:09

Well, you just like don't, you just skirt the button.

SPEAKER_01 38:13

I guess you can skip the reason.

SPEAKER_04 38:20

You know these stories also and chocolate in a nigga's yard for his dog to eat because she was mad. I said, Bitch you're a murderer. Not that that's not okay. Yeah, that's not okay.

SPEAKER_01 38:30

Yeah, yeah, not that I love revenge. I'm here for revenge.

SPEAKER_04 38:35

That's not okay. Nobody could ever make I don't give a fuck if you fucked my dad. I would never be that angry, bro. I just couldn't be that angry at anybody. Like, that's you that's they say I need therapy. That's therapy.

SPEAKER_01 38:48

It's a fine line. It's a fine line.

SPEAKER_04 38:50

I'm so sorry. I probably should have told you I was wildly out of pocket before you had me come on here.

SPEAKER_01 38:55

You're all good. You are all good. Honestly, I'm enjoying it. We don't have to ever usually everyone that we have on here is this is very much is very much so an artist, not an insult to them, just like you know, artists like the artists like to talk and like to talk about themselves and like it uh ask usually what what the platform I do create it for. Yeah, but it is also also always refreshing to be able to just like conversate with uh with some of my guests and talking about.

SPEAKER_04 39:19

I'm just like crazy, so all the things about myself are also fucking crazy.

SPEAKER_01 39:22

So just fair enough, fair enough.

SPEAKER_04 39:24

I feel like you're right though. Like I have been like talking myself about that. Like Mari Hayes is like this big energy and this big person, but like people really don't know who the fuck I am, like inside of that. And like my art is like you said, so boist boisterous, it's not always like speaking, like you can't listen to my music and be like, this is Mari. You're like, this bitch said fuck all these niggas and she robbing niggas, and where's the money?

SPEAKER_01 39:49

You know, and it's like it's it's not like listen, I mean, and for air comparison, it's not like when you listen to Sissy and be like, I just really know who Sizzle is like I know that relationship is just got issues and like no, you listen to me and you're like, So, what does this girl do? I mean, but no, I mean I think like sometimes you like like I like even I listen to some songs for more of like a certain level of confidence that I need. Like one of my favorite, actually, it's funny, I thought I don't tell people this uh often, but I told people sometimes I tell people that one of my favorite songs was uh I forget the name of it, but it's I'm a boss ass bitch. Yep, bitch, bitch. I'm a boss ass like that should just get you lit. It gets you feel a common.

SPEAKER_04 40:23

I love niggas that love the song. Any nigga that knows that song, that's a good nigga, ladies. Just know that. Kage a good nigga. Oh my god. So kage like hokage.

SPEAKER_01 40:34

What?

SPEAKER_04 40:35

Kage like hook hokage.

SPEAKER_01 40:37

Yes, yes. You said that's a fucking fact.

SPEAKER_04 40:40

Yeah, I talk a little fast sometimes. It's because I'm a crack baby.

SPEAKER_01 40:43

You weren't born in the 80s, though.

SPEAKER_04 40:45

No, I know. That's crazy, right?

SPEAKER_01 40:46

I was literally born in the parents is on that shit late.

SPEAKER_04 40:48

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:49

They was not letting it go.

SPEAKER_04 40:50

She's still on crack, my mom. She lived in California somewhere, San Francisco. She's still a crackhead. She left me for like two months with my daddy and we got to her.

SPEAKER_01 40:57

Damn, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_04 40:58

You know, like, but I am a crack baby, so I do think that's why I be like super speeding through shit sometimes. I mean, it's it's cool. I don't I'm a cute crack baby. Like, I ain't all fucked up. I do got a little bit of a lazy eye if you look real hard, but other than that, I'm cool. You wouldn't.

SPEAKER_01 41:12

Is that one of the telltale songs good? I guess I'm a little bit of crack baby. I got like because I oh, yeah, I got like I got one, I got like a squinty eye. Yeah, I got like a fucked up eye. Uh niggas is mirrors out here.

SPEAKER_04 41:23

I feel like that actually has to be something like genetically through black people because most black people that I meet with a squinty eye, it's always the same eye.

SPEAKER_01 41:31

Really?

SPEAKER_04 41:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:32

I so oddly enough, I was told I I just can't remember the story of why I have it, but I was told when I was a baby I had a like a something of a stroke, and like half my face was stuck.

SPEAKER_02 41:42

That's fucked up.

SPEAKER_01 41:43

Yeah, yo, like hearing the story scares me, but like obviously like I'm fucking here right now. I was like, yo, one screening eye, which which one? Look, nigga.

SPEAKER_00 41:56

Look, most people don't know because I've lived with it my whole life and I've learned how to correct my fucking face.

SPEAKER_04 42:03

So sorry.

SPEAKER_01 42:05

But I used to hate what the motherfucker is. I used to actually because people always compliment my smile, but I told I used to hate my smile because part of my smile was my eye.

SPEAKER_03 42:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:16

And then so obviously, somewhere past like elementary middle school, I was like, oh yeah, we gotta fix that shit.

SPEAKER_04 42:22

I think I'm conscious about it too. Like if I'm doing photos, I like or like even now, if you notice, I like blink a lot. I feel that I felt it no same.

SPEAKER_01 42:33

Being high all the time helps too, because I wear my eyes are always low.

SPEAKER_04 42:36

Yeah, I have like kind of almond, like almost Asian-y eyes.

SPEAKER_01 42:40

Yeah, yeah, low-key. I can see that.

SPEAKER_04 42:42

Yeah, so I just be like, and the lashes help.

SPEAKER_01 42:45

But also, you wear glasses. Yes, yeah, like people don't be fooled. She wore glasses. I saw her trying to pull up, and she had to put them on for a moment. I saw this. She had to put them on for a moment to turn. That's not safe.

SPEAKER_04 42:59

Honestly, if you ride with me and I don't have my glasses on, you're putting your life at risk. Especially at nighttime. My depth per I have astigmatism. My depth perception, depth depth perception is treacherous.

SPEAKER_01 43:10

Oh, Jesus. So you're you're you're definitely you're definitely an artist. Yeah.

unknown 43:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:17

Uh so I mean, we got what we got we covered music. We got music on the way. So apparently, I thought it was just one project, but two projects on the way.

SPEAKER_04 43:25

Three for real, for real. This year or stupid.

SPEAKER_01 43:28

Damn, okay. This is a good year for music. I don't even know. This is a good year for music. So please do, please do. Um, but like, okay, so you're saying, like, you're just saying, like, since there's not so much identity in the music that you have now, like is that like is that something that you want to keep, like you want to keep it like that? Or like do you plan, like, do you plan to like tell your story, like and like let people know like who you like who you are for real?

SPEAKER_04 43:48

So Witcher Trifling Ass was actually um even down to the title versus like the title and the cover, everything. Witcher Trifling Ass was meant to like be catchy, to be stuck in your. Head to make you think about it. Like the title is crazy. You're like, bitch, what the fuck? I have to listen to this in every single song. The hook is double each time in every single song. Like most of the time, it's one you say the hook one time, verse, hook one time, verse. Every song on which I'm trying to ask is hook, hook, verse, hook, hook, verse. Because I wanted it to be catchy. Like right now, we're in the age of TikTok. I want bitches to be able to out the club, out the club, nigga, who's gonna snatch me out the club? Like, I you know, that's what it was for. So that I could get gain a little bit of traction so that when I do put out my more heartfelt music that might be a little unconventional because I like unconventional styles of music, um you already kind of like have heard me before. You might have something saved, and you know on Spotify, if I have your song saved and you drop something else, it puts you on my release radar. Okay. So it was actually really strategic to put out such a like boom bap, like girly pop, dum-dum-dum type of project. Like almost like Doja Cat with Moo.

SPEAKER_01 44:56

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's crazy, it's crazy. Like I like I I thought I hated that song, but then like I oh I heavily fuck with Doja Cat because like I listened to all her, I listened all our hours.

SPEAKER_04 45:05

She'd be rapping her fucking ass off, bro. So when I was a baby stripper, I had a cow outfit and a whole routine.

SPEAKER_01 45:11

I'm sorry. Backtrack, a what?

SPEAKER_04 45:12

Baby stripper. That means when I was like freshly starting being a stripper when I was 18.

SPEAKER_01 45:16

Oh, this is new lingo for me. Uh y'all should not use that term ever again.

SPEAKER_04 45:21

It works in the club, but it doesn't matter. There's no what? That's how we that's how we refer to each other. So, like, if you're a baby stripper, you tell one of the best strippers that you're a baby stripper and they will help you.

SPEAKER_01 45:31

Okay. You know, as long as that's like a woman to woman tell me.

SPEAKER_04 45:34

If a man called me a baby stripper, I would slap the fuck out of here.

SPEAKER_01 45:37

Yeah, because like I'm like, excuse me? I was almost defending. I was like a what?

SPEAKER_04 45:41

A novice. When I was a novice stripper. No, you could. I had a whole routine to moo. And honestly, even now. Uh, but but so Doja Cat put out Moo, but I knew Doja Cat before Moo.

SPEAKER_03 45:51

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_04 45:52

Where's the visine? I mean, I'm throwing she always has had bars. And so when Moo came out, I actually hated it because I'm like, this fucking bitch is so fucking good, and this is the song that blows up a troll song. The bitch is playing with us, and this is what makes her. I called it a troll song.

SPEAKER_01 46:10

I said and I was like, nah, she's like, this song is not for real.

SPEAKER_04 46:15

No, but the bars in the song were still crazy.

SPEAKER_01 46:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 46:18

So I took that as a bit of an inspiration, and I said, you know what? This bitch, if I just make the worst songs ever, they're at least gonna go viral for being terrible. And then when I because like, oh my god, let me sh make it girl, smash it, and bang it. Like, you know, I'm from that generation. You're from that generation, you know. Like, we had horrible songs, but we all knew them. I'm a gummy bear, terrible.

SPEAKER_01 46:39

Oh fuck, I don't remember me back there.

SPEAKER_04 46:42

Gunnum stuff.

SPEAKER_01 46:44

That song was heat. We had all the YouTube trends and all that shit.

SPEAKER_04 46:48

G6, like a G6. These songs are all fundamentally terrible.

SPEAKER_00 46:52

Yeah, you're not damn.

SPEAKER_04 46:53

You know, but we loved it. So that's it. Like, as an old head, that's what I'm thinking. I'm like, damn, maybe I just do some like um, you know.

SPEAKER_01 46:59

Fuck all the songs I remember are all bad.

SPEAKER_04 47:01

Yeah, or like what's the Black and Yellow is actually a terrible song. A horrible fucking song.

SPEAKER_01 47:05

I've never listened to that shit past that year.

SPEAKER_04 47:08

Or like um, what's the niggas with the afro and the glasses? And they used to wear like tight pants.

SPEAKER_01 47:13

Oh uh LMFAO.

SPEAKER_04 47:15

LMFAO.

SPEAKER_01 47:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 47:16

They were horrible. Yeah, yeah. Yes. What what you don't talk at all? No, I'm not mic'd up. He's not mic'd up. What is the song?

SPEAKER_02 47:26

I'm a shuffle.

SPEAKER_04 47:27

Yeah. Sha, sha, shuffle.

SPEAKER_01 47:31

Like, yeah, it's crazy. Those songs all work.

SPEAKER_04 47:34

Terrible.

SPEAKER_01 47:34

Because you know, because they fit for moments. Yes. There's all there's but they're catchy.

SPEAKER_04 47:38

You can hear it right now and know every word. And that's what my goal was. Like, okay, like this, it will get their attention. Like Kesha. Kesha has music now that's like heartfelt.

SPEAKER_01 47:48

Honestly, that I mean that makes more that makes a whole lot of sense for uh for couldn't be me. Because like that was like the it stuck in my head. Like, I think like after I heard it, like for like after that, I could like I can't like I can just hear that part in my head. Yeah, and like it's not it's not a bad song, just you've nailed the I mean, like what some rappers always say is like their their least favorite moment, like their the radio moment.

SPEAKER_04 48:06

Yeah, um that's what the whole thing is supposed to be. It's a t it's a TikTok album. That was like literally told Carlos, like before we work on anything that fucking matters to me, I need my TikTok album. Because after that, you know, I'm hoping to have core fans. Because truthfully, for the last 10 years, I've been operating as just a model or like just an entertainer, really. Like I might host a show, or um, I used to do like like co-ops where I'd get all the models and photographers and stylists together in one studio, and we just all shoot as much as we can for one day and get the content. So, like I'm a curator for real. So before I even wrote anything for this project, I had it all curated in my head. Like, this is how it's gonna be. And the first song I wrote for it is low. Drop the low, low, low, low, low, low. So fucking stupid, a terrible song.

SPEAKER_01 48:54

That song was so like that one got stuck in my head so bad.

SPEAKER_04 48:58

And like Yeah, it's like because it I just wanted them to be love me, like just dumb shit. And but I what I will say is this the songs are very intentional, like they're intentionally catchy, and the visuals will be just as intentional.

SPEAKER_01 49:12

They feel they would they feel like going out songs. I think that I I'm not a going out person, so I think it's for like they're not like they're like not, I don't go out too much.

SPEAKER_04 49:17

Like then I'm gonna listen to Larry June.

SPEAKER_01 49:19

Of course I listen to Larry June. Oh yeah, I love Larry June. Larry June, you know, June is fine. June gives all the niggas.

SPEAKER_04 49:25

I just did a YouTube, I was like writing something and I had to look up Larry June type beat on YouTube. And I don't normally use YouTube beats, but comments is out the country.

SPEAKER_01 49:33

Yeah, honestly, any anybody alchemists is work with, like I'll I like uh You don't even have to tell me, I can look at you and see what you're gonna do. Damn, everyone's everyone fucking say that. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_04 49:42

I'm also a uh a stripper, so it's like my job to be able to look at it again if it's fair, that's fair to them about immediately.

SPEAKER_01 49:49

That's fair. Like, yeah, I don't like when I want to listen to someone like I guess like because I'm from LA, like if I'm trying to listen to something crazy or like hard, like I'll listen to like Blueface and EBK.

SPEAKER_04 49:56

Okay, I like Blueface, I like YG.

SPEAKER_01 49:58

That's my like it turns out. It's crazy. My Spotify and my YouTube like algorithm knows I like YG more than I do because I don't search YG as on there. But yeah, I'm like, damn, I'll fuck it, I'll fuck with YG apparently, and I know all the songs.

SPEAKER_04 50:10

Well, you know, like a it's kind of funny because like Portland has its own culture, but our culture heavily, specifically musically, relies on LA and the Bay Area.

SPEAKER_01 50:20

I've noticed that. I've noticed that a lot because I feel like uh a lot of the a lot of the sound, like actually when I'm usually when I meet when I meet kids, like even like even like the the white kids I meet around here, they'd be like, oh yeah, you listen to Eve. I'm like, they even try to emulate the fuck do y'all like y'all don't know that's what they do, but like But it's like and that's why because it's like and that's my thing.

SPEAKER_04 50:40

I'm from Portland, I'm born and raised, I was born in a manual hospital, like this is where I'm from. I love Portland, and I think like the as much as people talk shit about how we don't have our own sound, that's like the beauty here. You hear artists that do everything, um, and so for me, I think like generating my sound is important because there isn't like you can't listen to my music and no, I'm from Portland because there's no Portland sound. And what am I gonna say in the song? Like you're like, oh yeah, bitch, I'm in I'm in the motherfucking what do they call us now? What the fuck? A put I'm in Puddle Town, like Puddle, ooh, fuck.

SPEAKER_01 51:20

Like, do y'all have like a Rose City? Like my whole crazy, like I don't even I've never recognized this area as Rose City because Pasadena. Pasadena exists. Yeah, Pasadena has the Rose Parade, we have the Rose Bowl. Yeah, every like it's it's all right. Like I'm most of my family's from Altadina and Pasadena, so like yeah, I if I like when I hear like Portland St. Rose City, I'm like, y'all niggas is fakes.

SPEAKER_04 51:41

But we got the city of Roses, and you know what? My family's originally from California, so I have like a lot of love for California, but I was born here, so like okay, okay.

SPEAKER_01 51:49

No, I mean that's that's fair.

SPEAKER_04 51:50

I mean so when you say that I know exactly what you mean. I'm always born in the city. And I'm fucking up here. I've born here and I'm always like, why are we a Rose City? Like, you know, yeah, but but yeah, so fucking.

SPEAKER_01 52:02

You also got a long beach too out here, too, which is wild.

SPEAKER_04 52:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:06

I mean, we have I feel like I've lived in like almost all 50 states, and like the beach names are kind of like Yeah, there's a long beat, there's a there's a long beach out in the East Coast because I've lived in New York as well, and yeah, there's a long beach out there. It actually right now, probably the best time to go because they've kind of like changed a lot of shit up, and like we just got became like crazy type legal out there, and like there's a lot of cool stuff happening.

SPEAKER_04 52:28

That's why it doesn't matter where I go. I'm cool. I don't give a fuck. Oh, I'm going everywhere, baby.

SPEAKER_01 52:34

Man, it's I just I I smoke so much weed I just some everyone smokes so weed.

SPEAKER_04 52:38

My friends all smoke weed, so I probably wouldn't have that much fun with a bunch of angry stoners that can't smoke if I'm somewhere that's not all right. Shut your bitch ass up.

SPEAKER_01 52:44

I don't like going to places where I can't smoke because yeah, I I I'm not I'm not there very very long.

SPEAKER_04 52:48

People don't think weed gives you withdrawals, but it does. We have a fucking attitude without that weed.

SPEAKER_01 52:52

So I I so it's crazy. I I do I actually correct people on that. Um, like most people who smoke already have issues, like they would have had like you that you complain about them when they don't smoke before before they started smoking. It's it's it's our Adderall, it's our it's our mood regulator.

SPEAKER_04 53:07

That's what I call it.

SPEAKER_01 53:08

Yeah, it is like it is our medication. Like the withdrawal is like now it's like having to face our fucking medicine.

SPEAKER_04 53:15

So my dad smoked weed and grew weed my whole life. So I really do love weed.

SPEAKER_01 53:18

That's fine.

SPEAKER_04 53:19

I just cannot. I used to eat it.

SPEAKER_01 53:20

No, I like for so for me, like I like I couldn't do this. Like us talking this much is usually the result of weed.

SPEAKER_04 53:26

If I was high right now, I would be quiet as fuck.

SPEAKER_01 53:29

And so that's why. So when people I uh I had to learn about endocannabinoid systems, and I have that's part, I think that's what the fuck did you just say? Uh so how it's it's called your endocannabinoid system.

SPEAKER_04 53:38

Endocannabinoid, yes.

SPEAKER_01 53:40

Okay, so uh just like how you have like your other regulatory systems within your body, uh when you and then it's not just weed that like kind of interacts with it, there's other things like different fruits and all these other things. Uh depends. Uh but like it interacts with your body and basically like certain things like all the terpenes people talk about, like my scene, careful, all these other like different components of weed, basically go into your body um and start regulating you and see what that vitamins do. So, like if you eat too much, if you have too much vitamin B, you're gonna pee green. Weed has that so in that same thing, like you should only take vitamins you're deficient in, or else your body's gonna have a negative reaction if you're overly uh overly supplied in that thing with weed, you may shut down because that part of your brain that regulates that part for you doesn't need more of it. But the part that like maybe regulates something else for like for how it works for me. I don't have enough of that to talk. I don't talk. Yeah, like I if I can shut the fuck up all day, I will. But like as soon as I smoke some weed, like now I feel like I gotta say the fucking word.

SPEAKER_04 54:40

I gotta say everything. See, I can't I'm like I once I told you I get after like 18. I started getting, I told them, I don't know if that was in here, but I started getting like weed-induced psychosis. So I'm like, everybody's looking at me, they're talking about it. Makes me anxious. They're like, everybody's judging all of the bad things that I think that I like ignore all day. Yeah, they start to like like literally like voices in my head, like they're watching you, that they think you're weird.

SPEAKER_01 55:02

I definitely think that's a result of like the how weed's kind of grown now.

SPEAKER_04 55:05

Yeah, because I can smoke that old shit.

SPEAKER_01 55:07

Uh a lot of it's kind of been like, I think what people want to talk about like in on in the industry is like how honestly people who have experience with flour and weed should now switch over to like the edible world. Yeah. Because uh, like I've actually recommended to most people who don't smoke at all. They're things where it has like minimal THC and has high uh like CBC, yeah, like all the other all the other C's and T's and G all the letters and all that shit for for weed. Yeah, uh and people like I there was this lady, she was like, I have she had issues with her stomach. And I said that way, I don't know what it was. They they never I was no doctor. People come to me like I'm a doctor and they start describing me shit, like I'm gonna be able to like like tell them. This is the perfect for that problem. No, I can do that, but like I wasn't I wasn't trained to be a doctor, so like I can just get there. I can't tell you all these scientific words that tell you what you also got, yeah, um, would be the problem. But this lady she kept coming to me saying like she has some problems, and like I learned what uh CBG does, it helps inflammation of that type. Uh and so I just like, yeah, take the low dose, mental THC. She was she came and she's like, I don't like my doctor's, I'm good now for a while.

SPEAKER_04 56:14

They don't care, but like it helps it is it's medication, it's been medication in my life as long as I've known what weed is. My dad uses weed for IBS, which is irritable bowel syndrome. Like, if he cannot go to the bathroom, he smokes weed, he can go to the bathroom. Um, you know, I get migraines, and so I do take sometimes like different gummies for my migraines because it's like I know that my issue is the THC. Yeah, like um, and and marijuana is medicine, it's one of the earliest forms of medicine. So it's like my dad grows weed still sometimes. I can smoke that weed, surprisingly.

SPEAKER_01 56:47

I mean, he's probably I mean he's probably growing it from like from the same seeds that you can. Yeah, he's probably growing from like from really good genetics.

SPEAKER_04 56:52

That is fucking strange. Oh, that's crazy. That's a white widow, and he's been growing that shit since I was.

SPEAKER_01 56:56

He's like, I got some old white widow seeds right here.

SPEAKER_04 56:59

I'm not feeling good, I'm like feeling anxious. He's like, I got you, hold on. And then he, you know, so it's like um That's lit.

SPEAKER_01 57:04

That's super lit. And honestly, strange, like I think people, especially because it's not legal everywhere. Yeah, and like we've just gotten to a point where it's so many varieties and strains, different types, that like people don't understand how important strain speci specificity is. Like, even me, I I smoke different types of weed throughout the day as much as I possibly can, as much as I can get my hands. Obviously, I can't have two different types, but like I I pick my weed, like I pick like I pick my weed, like I pick my daily vitamins. I'll be like, mm, I need this one because I'm about to go do this. Yeah, I need this one because I tight sleep time, I haven't eaten all day, so I need to smoke this one.

SPEAKER_04 57:33

So I have underage friends who I buy weed for all the time. And I've noticed No, she don't. Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry. But I've noticed that they're so ignorant to it. Like to me, because it's medicine, before I go into the dispensary, well, what kind of weed do you need? And they're like, uh, I don't know, whatever is has the highest THC. And I'm like, but what about the other stuff? Like, you want the stuff that makes you sleepy or the stuff that wakes you up? You want some indica, sativa? Like at least that. And they're like, I don't even know. And I'm like, you've been smoking weed since you were 12, bro. How you fucking don't know? But that's maybe like because I look at it as medicine.

SPEAKER_01 58:04

Like, I'm like Nah the the birth, the birth of the story. Like, I've noticed that even people who come into work at uh work in dispensaries, like like when they're young, like when they're a lot younger. Hey, welcome to the industry. Uh don't know shit about weed.

SPEAKER_04 58:17

I'm not I don't know shit about today's weed. I do know about weed, I can help, like you know, but I don't smoke.

SPEAKER_01 58:23

Hey, no, that's I mean that's that's that's that's a brave that's a brave thing to do this this day and age and then get into the tricks. People be asking some wild questions.

SPEAKER_04 58:28

I'll be asking questions when I go in the dispensary. Like, which one do you smoke? How does it make you feel? Do your lips be tingling when you smoke that lips. Then people would be like, this bitch should get that.

SPEAKER_01 58:39

No, it's crazy. I tell people y'all people need to be that inquisitive about their weed. Um, and like people and like I try, I encourage when I was uh when I was butting in like regularly, I was encouraging our customers like nah, ask me more questions. Like, I I wouldn't even entertain, I would give them that attitude of like, like, the THC part's not gonna get you the answer you're looking for. Like, I sometimes be f I'll be flat out with them, like, hey, I like I would ask them, like, hey, how many times have you asked that question? Like, I got you what you're looking for. And they're like, uh and so and like sometimes like you just gotta invite coax them into the conversation, Loki. Yeah, uh, but yeah, no, people.

SPEAKER_04 59:09

My friends always say I pick them the best weed because it's like for me, I'm like, okay, you don't want to tell me if it's indica or sativa. Let me think about who you are and what you need. Bitch, you be taking perks. That means you need some shit that puts you down, so I don't see you take no perks because I don't want to see you take that shit. Or oh, you be doing the whippets. That means you like a head high, so I'm gonna get you some, you know, you know, like or or even like you're anxious as fuck all the time. So let me get you some weed that helps with that because bitch, shut up. Nobody wanna hear you thinking that somebody following the car. That ain't even the phoneies, chill out, you know. Yeah, um, so so I always pick good weed for my friends, which is funny because I don't smoke. So I think I'll do good working in the dispensary.

SPEAKER_01 59:43

No, I I I got I got comments. If if you if you if you're if you're around uh weed people and like you just have it in clean cooking.

SPEAKER_04 59:50

This makes me I be wanting to, like you were smoking that rose, I was like, oh my god, I just want a little hit of that motherfucker, but I would have been in this bitch.

SPEAKER_01 59:59

KO'd. No, and I I unfortunately I do have like I do get very good quality weed. Um yeah, either sleep or just too too high.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:08

So no, I was gonna be sleep. Because I know I have the sometimes I will smoke like if I'm gonna hike with my.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:14

Well, yes, so I guess I like the I like to often get social weed. Like I get tropicana cookies is one of my favorites, and uh like or the current like offhand one is super boof and it's a little bit more relaxing.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:23

I think I've heard of superboost.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:25

It's popular, it's very, very popular right now.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:27

I if I smoke weed and I start to feel like the little psychosis, I literally force myself to sleep. It's the same thing I do if I have an anxiety attack. You just yawn, yawn, yawn, like force yourself to eat.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:37

I can't do it. I guess I can do that and then go to sleep. Do you not struggle with? I mean, like I just I just I just smoke.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:44

Do you sleep?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:45

Not a lot.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:46

I don't sleep. I sleep like three hours ago.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:48

Like, I I I uh I used to not I used to sleep a lot less. I've gotten better at sleeping now. Like I had to like train myself to sleep at some point.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:55

I did that thing where they tell you to take melatonin for like five days straight every time you want to go to bed. Boy, that shit doesn't do shit here. Because melatonin fucks you up too. I was so asleep, I pissed the bed, bro. I was sleep, you can't wake up off and I like kids have accidents. I don't give a fuck, y'all. I am crazy. No, you good kids have accidents when you give them melatonin. And I give my son melatonin, and I'm like, he doesn't pee himself a lot, but sometimes you'll have an accident. He's six years old, that's crazy. Yeah, and then I took the fucking, I took the fucking melatonin, and I'm like, well, I'm like in the dream. I'm in in the dream, I'm at the toilet seat, but I'm I can't lift the toilet seat up. Start feeling wet.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:35

I've heard that one often, actually. That's specific, like something like that specific like scenario for people, like that's how it happens.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:41

You start to feel it wet, it's because you're imagining that you're pinging on the body.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:43

You're trying so hard. Yeah, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:45

And I'm like running through a church, like trying to get to the bathroom. Like, and so then I realized, like, damn, maybe I shouldn't give my kid melatonin on some mommy shit. And I also a lot of people don't know I have a kid, but I have a kid.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:55

No, I mean, actually, I mean, like before I can do it. I didn't remind me, because I did want to ask you about that, like as far as like being a mom, being an artist, being a parent. Like, uh I really also realize how long we've been we've been going for. I'm a yeah, I'm fucking with we don't too often get too many long episodes, but like uh this, I mean, that's probably our last topic, but you know, kind of like give people a little bit for more information about you. Like, what the fuck is that like? Being a mom, being an artist, like you hear about it, like you hear about the whole crazy stories. You got Cardi B stories all the time, of course. You hear every other artist and shit like that going on. Like, for you, like being a more like a more realistic person for my for my world. Uh I'm a human. I don't expect myself to be meeting Cardi B tomorrow.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:37

Still, it's okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:38

Um vegetables be easy to grab. Uh yeah, what's like what's that shit like? How's that balancing?

SPEAKER_04 1:02:43

So my son is autistic.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:45

That that what?

SPEAKER_04 1:02:47

Are you doing all this nigga? My son is like the smart autistic. I have a very cool little Albert Einstein. He is six years old, he can do chemistry, algebra. Like, he's really like he's smarter than me. Like, I have a six, are you smarter than a fifth grader? I'm not smarter than a six-year-old. Um so like for his birthday was like a number themed party. Last year for his birthday was a number themed party. We gave his friends um flashcards because he picked out which flashcards each friend needed. Um he's very, very hyper-intelligent. So he comes everywhere with me. I don't have any help. I'm a single mom. Um, I was married, I'm divorced, he's military. He goes to his dad for like one or two months out the summer. The rest of the year I have him. He was almost here with me tonight, but I have a cousin in town because my uncle passed away. So yeah, um, Genesis, that's my son's name. Uh he's a dope kid. Uh for the most part, I bring him everywhere with me. It can be super overwhelming because he's like, I'm like filming my podcast and he's asking for chicken nuggets.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:46

His brain's always firing off.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:48

Yeah, you know, um, and it is really hard. But and a lot of times, like when I'm very frustrated, I like that's my complaint. Like, if I didn't have my son all the time, like I could do more. If I didn't have, if I had some help, if somebody would just fucking help me, I could have a regular, like I can't have a job. I haven't had a job. I've been home almost two years, I haven't had a real job. That's why I'm a stripper. I don't really like being a stripper, it's not fun for me, but I have to feel like it's a good one.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:12

Yeah, but no, it's it's one of the things that it's quick money, it's and it's like sleep, I go work.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:16

Yeah, um, it's quick and convenient. Yeah, and it can be really challenging. I bring him to photo shoots, I bring I mean literally, like he gets off of school at 4 30. So in the morning I wake up, I put him on the school bus, I go back to sleep till nine. I wake up, I do all my whatever reels.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:31

Yeah, like your career is not like right now, your career. Yeah, your career is his career.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:35

Yeah. So then I pick him up from the bus at 4 30, and then we go back outside and do whatever, and I get him whatever he wants to eat on the way, and he's my little road dog. And yeah, it is challenging. I know a lot of other women who have quit art completely because they had children. Um, that will never be me. It could never be me. Um I love my kid, and I love my kid enough that I just explain to him like, you know, I know you want to go home, I know you want to do this, but guess what? Mommy wants the best for you one day, and like I hope it could be a fool's dream, but I hope this doesn't, and so he'll say that. Or like, my kid is really smart, so if we're struggling really bad, like he's like, Mommy, I know we're poor right now. Maybe we can like DoorDash so we can have extra money. Um so he is like my little best friend, but it's like because he understands so much, like when I was leaving to come here, he literally was like, Okay, mommy, have fun um with your podcast. Don't talk too much. He'll hear like other, like, you know, he's at my podcast, so he's hearing like tech say, Okay, guys, we gotta keep these episodes shorter. Like the sweet spot is an hour and 30 minutes, and he's good with numbers. So he remembers that an hour and 30 minutes, or like mommy, he's also really helpful though, because he's like, Mommy, you said we had to go here by six o'clock at 5 50. We're not gonna make it there because the miles between here and there, like literally at six, so co-manager, yeah, and it's really cool but yeah it is frustrating like I feel like sometimes I'm not like giving him everything that he needs um and then sometimes I feel like I'm not giving me everything that I need and I I just like I never he like I never want him to feel like anything was above him but also like knowing that this if like and you know so many people want to be famous and so many people want to be artists but like for me I it's strictly off of love so if this is what's gonna make me happy enough that I can like be a healthy mom because like if I wasn't doing this I would be a depressed evil bitch um you know so like yeah I think it's a double it's a double edged sword and I don't even know if I got to the point because no I mean I think you explained I think you explained it very well like you you got like it it it sounds like well like I mean and you're handling it seems like you're handling it very well but there are it seems like it seems like it's a challenge and but like at the same time like it also sounds like the challenge for you is worth it.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:56

Yeah um and like I I think like every I think every mom like has that complaint like I could be or yeah has that like that realization and complain like I could be doing more without without my kid here with me right now but like I think that's I don't think that's like a bad thing to say I think that's more of like you're acknowledging the stress that you're under at that moment and like that that shit's real. Like that shit like that shit is realistic as fuck a lot of dudes get to walk around like not have to have that same brain seven kids Nick Cannon has how many kids but he's also like running all this stuff like I've never I've almost never seen like it's very rare I've seen him with his kids you know or like you hear about that story like Nick Cannon. Yeah and like I think I think that's so like that's more of like a the comparison of like you know male artists and male artists and women artists like that like their careers are kind of orchestrated differently and the things that they have to balance within their lives I think men have to sort of balance like the the uh the ego that of having a family or kids or a wife or whatever it may be women have to balance the work yeah like the like the struggle like the hard part the struggle like in the emotion like the emotional toll it takes to to deal with and balance like because historically women are people who like deal with the kid in the situation even when like you're trying to pursue being an artist. You know and like that shit's gotta be hard. That shit's gotta be tough.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:08

Regular women right because I'm not a regular woman facts facts. But regular women who have regular jobs like they're like my like my baby daddy is also an artist. He sucks he's a terrible rapper but he is a rapper he can balance being in the army full time and rapping and having a girlfriend and paying his bills because he doesn't have to worry about the kid and he can keep advancing in his career because he doesn't have to worry about his kid for real. Whereas I put all of my aspirations on the side for six years which means I'm 28 years old and if I would have been pursuing all the things that I was interested in from the time that I met him until now I could have been further than him in life. But I sacrificed that there's a big sacrifice to being a mother I sacrificed those things for my child I sacrificed those things for my marriage and now like the marriage is gone but the child is still here and all of the responsibilities that come with it. And so it's like for regular women it's the same thing. They they sacrificed all these things and now specifically single women are like either coming back into the workforce or trying to manage the workforce and they don't have the if your babysitter cancels you're getting fired it has happened to me like six times. You know your jobs are not understanding. They're like all right well this is your second time for your babysitter canceling bitch and we have so get the fuck out of here. And then you're stuck in this loop of poverty like I feel often like outside of the art thing like real world shit I feel stuck in the cycle of poverty because it's like if I get a good job they cut my benefits off immediately. The benefits include daycare daycare costs as much as two checks a month. That's all of your money a month how am I gonna pay my bills now you're cutting me off benefits because I make too much now I can't afford the childcare and now I can't work this job and now I lost this job and I have to wait three months to get benefits again. It's like a literal perpetual cycle of poverty and then people are looking at me like you're not doing better for yourself. You're not doing better for your kids you're living off the system and it's like well bitch what the fuck am I supposed to do? You look at these traits I'm like okay let me go be a dental assistant fucking $25,000 who fucking has that bitch I can't get a job because I can't pay for childcare because if I get a job to be childcare I'm not gonna have food to be my kid or a place to live.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:15

Yeah so it's not it's it's it's an impossible balancing act honestly like and even like I think like because I think like even just doing without like I don't like I don't have those sort of responsibilities it's just it's just me and my lady and that's it. And so like even then like that's that's a hard balance like enough as is. Yeah and like so like I even now I couldn't even imagine like like even like even like my like I talk to my mom like ever all the time and be like just you know we just should be chopping it up sometimes and like uh it's like you know like as she's explaining something to me like well like we grew up and all that stuff like or even just thinking back to it it's like fuck bro like that's it like I couldn't I don't know how I would have managed that in that balance myself. And so like it is honestly like it's more it's very commendable to even like see to see that happen because like I'm sitting here being like how I'm gonna pay for gas for myself and like you're thinking like how I'm gonna pay for gas and also get this little nigga food. Like that's like $10 plus an extra whatever the fuck a kid needs to eat is like every day like every day that's that's a that's a double fear.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:10

Yeah and like so I get that just turned six yesterday. Oh I didn't get eaten yeah so he turned six yesterday he got he got everything he wanted for his birthday and his like dad and I got him a party at Urban Air which is like $450. Um I had to choose between making sure that his party happened and paying my utilities on time. So I made sure his party happened and now I'm gonna have to figure out how to pay my utilities on time and that's because I think about my childhood right and like you never want your kid to know that they're going without and my kid doesn't go without and I would rather go without I haven't got a pedicure I haven't got a pedicure I do nails but it's like nice to get a pedicure is different. I haven't got a pedicure in two years like the entire time that I've been divorced I haven't got a pedicure I have not like I often sacrificed for him and I will say that is like one thing. And like it also does like make me feel bad that like I have to put him to sleep to go to work. You know like anything could happen while I'm gone at work but some people have villages and I'm just unfortunately not blessed with a village. So you know I gotta do what I gotta do put the little home camera up go get my and like come home and hope I wake up in time to get him on the school bus at six in the morning you know yeah um but yeah and and even when I was like you know single or had a boyfriend before I had my son you're right it's like you're thinking about feeding you you're thinking about feeding your partner if you have a fucking cat cat food gets fucking expensive when you're broke. Yeah that's that's a fact that's got a cat too fucking expensive when you're broke and so I have a cat I have fish I have a kid oh shit family asked me for they can't watch my kid but they can ask to borrow $60 you know um my friends need stuff and I'm a very empathetic and loving person. It's like I actually put like everybody before me. And so this is the one place where I'm selfish. Like I'm gonna make my art I'm gonna go to this event I'm gonna do this. I don't give a fuck if y'all mad that I brought my kid up in here guess what? He named this motherfucker and yeah he touched a painting and so what I'm sorry he didn't make it you know because there has to be somewhere where I'm selfish where I draw a line for me. If I sacrifice everything else like you know and I think that that's where a lot of mothers like people talk shit about moms like this bitch is on food stamps but she wouldn't pay to get her nails done. Well if that made that bitch happy yeah like you're gonna kill herself that's like she probably hasn't done that in how long?

SPEAKER_01 1:13:29

Yeah yeah like Jesus so yeah I think like that's where I even still something you have to have your kid with you to do a relaxing thing and like you have to be a mom while trying to relax.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:37

Do you know how not fun it is to bring a kid to a nail salon I know I used to be that kid that was in the nail salon imagine if you can't like kids today have phones.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:45

There are people can't afford to get their kid a phone like imagine a kid in there just that's that's that's that's being used childhood if I'm being real with you like because I remember I remember being in the in the nail salon and like I I know I was annoying. I didn't know I was annoying I didn't have a mom I had to oh you're like fucking around on the floor and doing dumb shit touching shit on the fucking walls. So I have like the opposite like I had a dad a single dad fuck him by the way really abusive um but he's like I'm at the fucking car shop he's under the fucking car with his homeboys fixing up the cars and I'm like can I have a bubble wrap dress like just fucking doing whatever you know it's like we did it we didn't have I'm I'm fucking playing with motor oil in the corner flapping the puddle you know like these my son thank god I can afford to give this nigga a phone because this like that phone saves every event I go to he's sitting in the corner with his headphones yeah and if he can't if his phone dies please take mine expeditiously fuck these pictures fuck all these people take it and go sit in I don't care who messaged me important but I'm left right because my kid likes math he likes learning honestly so he's not watching dumb shit on the phone he's watching college professors teach him math I worry about like other people who like tablet kids is what they call that it's just like damn little niggas are watching Skibbity toilet like yeah if you ever uh know something dope to check out I don't know if you ever have Crash Course is really really dope they do uh short form courses of like any subject you could think of um from math social like school shit if you just want to be like phone some flop uh philosophy type shit all that they break it down really simple give examples I think like John Green and his brothers and all the people who work with him uh orchestrate it uh really dope I learned a whole bunch of shit from there because like I you know I was I didn't pay attention all the time at school so I had to like backtrack uh yeah I had to double back on some stuff if I was at the uh but shit uh fuck I hate I hate to cut no you're I hate to cut us off um I do I do want to I I want to get out of Kat's hair because you know he needs his he needs a studio back um but before we get out of here one thank you for for talking with us you're you're a joy to have on the show you're more than welcome to come on back to please let the people know where they can find you at oh shit well um you can google me my name is Mari Hayes I will pop up and so will all of my social medias but it's Mari Hayes on every single thing that's M-A-U-R-I space h-a z and zebra e Mari Hayes yeah you literally you can look me up anywhere at that name it was easy to find on Instagram is easy name I I have 10k so I do pop up as soon as you type in all of this 10k whatever you gotta get I worked hard for that 10k okay I I we're trying okay for 10 years though that's a half in a year now I've had my account for like for too long but also like I haven't really been doing shit for real that we're saying we're supposed to fucking just start new accounts at Monitoring that either but losing all my voice doing that I have like I have I've I've done that and it doesn't work. It doesn't work all right yeah they're just trying to get us make more get more more audience on the show uh but all right stoners thank y'all for joining us please go check out uh Mari's new songs that just dropped uh because it couldn't been you if you're missing out on her music um but yeah yeah go ahead and listen to her new shit uh she also has some three new projects coming for y'all this year so stay tuned uh go check out her podcast that she has come out yeah say it with your chess podcast that's say it with your chess podcast on everything it's not type the same on everything for that one so just look for the high yellow girl so do your best do your best look for the high yellow girl and the and the dark skinned man yelling at each other for sure for sure uh and they got a few episodes up of that us too um and of course do not forget y'all when y'all are here on Hawthorne and y'all just walking up and down going to the bars going to the restaurants to do whatever you do there's a nice little shop right here next to a coffee shop by the name of Friedmell Art Studio please come down and check them out because they got some wonderful art for you guys to look at uh a cool ass studio owner by the way and awesome ass merchandise like bracelets clothes and all the like for y'all to come and look at hey honestly real shit you know that's like a problem here the parking here easy loved it yeah easy parking to um and you know once you grab me something you got plenty of other stuff you can grab up and down the street too but yeah come check them out Friedman RCO easy to find on maps Google and Instagram uh stoners thank y'all for watching and as always stay high and of course still till they are gone fuck ice yeah fuck ice all right we are done I'm a yapper I told you thank