Raising with the village

#5- Melissa - Three babies, three water births

• Raising with the Village • Season 1 • Episode 5

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 50:45

In this powerful episode, Melissa walks us through her three water births — two of which resulted in rare “mermaid babies,” born entirely in their amniotic sac. She also shares how she discovered she had a heart-shaped uterus, her anxiety during pregnancy, and how each labour unfolded.
From a dramatic early pregnancy scare to three medication-free water births, Melissa’s story is filled with surprise, humour, and extraordinary moments (including her first baby swimming to the surface still in her sac!).

✨ Key Topics Covered

  • Discovering a heart-shaped (bicornuate) uterus at 8 weeks
  • Two babies born en caul (in the sac) — “mermaid babies”
  • Why water birth felt right for Melissa
  • Anxiety during pregnancy & navigating unexpected bleeding
  • The difference between her first, second, and third water births
  • The role of midwives, her mum, and her partner
  • Gas & air, pain management, and what really happens in the pool
  • Going past her due date for the first time with baby #3
  • A sweep that triggered labour
  • Recovering between births and leaving the hospital within hours
  • The emotional side of birth stories and trusting your body

💬 Memorable Moments

  • “Half of my uterus knew I was pregnant… the other half didn’t.”
  • “My firstborn literally swam to the top in her little alien sack.”
  • “I know it sounds like I made my birth stories up — but I swear it all happened!”
  • “Gas & air? I’m taking that if they let me!”
  • “With my second, I gave birth at 4:45 AM and was walking around Sainsbury’s by lunchtime.”

📚 Resources Mentioned / Related Helpful Links

These links provide accurate, medically reviewed information related to topics in the episode.

Water Birth

En Caul Birth (“Mermaid Baby”)

Bicornuate / Heart-Shaped Uterus

Signs of Labour & What to Expect

  • NHS — Stages of Labour
    https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/labour-and-birth/the-stages-of-labour-and-birth/

Mucus Plug (“The Show”)

Gas & Air (Entonox)

💛 Raising with the Village

This podcast is about real parents sharing real stories — because no one should feel alone in parenthood.
New episodes every Thursday!

🌐 Website: https://raisingwith.co.uk/
📸 Instagram: @raisingwiththevillage
🎧 Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and all major platforms.

If you’d like to share your own story — about birth, parenting, or family life — get in touch via the website or Instagram DMs.

SPEAKER_01

Hi, I'm Maeva, and this is Raising with the Village, a podcast where real parents share real stories so we can all feel a little more connected in this world journey of raising children. Today, we're diving into a story that flows quite literally actually with calm, confidence and a lot of water. Melissa is a mum of three, and all three of her babies were born in water. In this episode, she takes us through her journey from being a first-time mum in her twenties to a seasoned water birther who's learned how to trust her body, her instincts, and the process. She'll share what first inspired her to choose a water birth, how each experience was different, and what she's learned along the way. Including what she might do differently if she could go back. Let's listen back to Melissa's story. Hi, how are you?

SPEAKER_02

I'm good, how are you?

SPEAKER_01

I'm very good, thank you. Good. Shall we start with some quick introductions?

SPEAKER_02

Okay, my name's Melissa. Um I'm a mum of three, and I had all my berths were in water, which I I appreciate I'm quite lucky. And um two of the get girls, they were both born in their sack, which is again, I heard, quite unusual. And back in the day this was called um a mermaid baby because the sailors used to take the sack on the ships of them for good luck. Um, and I was quite lucky to have two that came out like that. It was quite impressive, if I'm honest, when my firstborn swam to the top in a little alien sack.

SPEAKER_01

I'm so excited to hear about that story. All right, let's so let's get started. Let's restart, sorry. Okay. Uh let's go back to the very, very top of the story. Okay. So you said you had um you've had three water births. Yes. Three children, three water birds. Yeah. Um let's start with the very first one. So how long ago was that? Ten years ago. Ten years ago. And can I ask you how old you were at the time?

SPEAKER_02

I just turned 26.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So you were quite young. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And okay, so start of the pregnancy were you already thinking about your birth plan? Is that something you even had in mind actually? No. No.

SPEAKER_02

I didn't I was very naive, didn't know that you had to have a birth plan in place. Um in my head, I thought, yeah, I'd love to have it in water. But at um eight weeks, I started having a bleed, um, which I was led to rush to hospital, um, very prepared to be told that I was having a miscarriage. And um I was in I was in A ⁇ E for hours, and then eventually we went and got a scan, and I can remember the midwife really prepared me um that there probably won't be a baby, and she was completely gobsmacked when she saw there was a little heartbeat going, um, and then that's when we discovered that I had a love heart uterus, which at the time I thought was bizarre. So half of my uterus um thought I was pregnant, the other half didn't, so it was flushing out the blood. Um, and it just meant I had to be under watch for a while. But as my little one grew, my uterus just sorted itself out and everything became safe. Um, so at one point I was told I might have to have a C-section, um, but luckily that that wasn't the case, and then I just thought I'd just have a natural birth. And in my head, I always thought I'd have a water birth, but never discussed it with my midwife because I was so naive. And it was only when we turned up at the hospital that I was like, oh no, I want to have a water birth. And then they were like, Oh, we better ring Oases and see if they've got availability.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, sorry. So so so before we jump into that, because I felt like we're gonna jump into a whole story and that's gonna be great. Um, but can we just go back a little bit? Um so eight weeks you find out that you've got a love heart shape, loved, heart shape, uterus. Uterus, yes. Um meaning that half of your uterus is aware that you're pregnant and the other half isn't. Yeah. And how was the follow-up with that um through your maybe first trimester?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it was just really the first and the second trimester. I just had a few extra midwife appointments, not scams, but just where they kept a check of the um of the heartbeat basically. Um but other than that, I think because I was so young at the time, like at the time I didn't feel young, but looking back now, I was quite young at the time, I think that was always I had age on my side, so they they wasn't that concerned. Um but other we other than just a few extra heartbeat sessions, if you like, where they just monitor, that was all that really happened. Um but I did bleed for about two weeks after, which was quite a lot. And I can remember I was so anxious, I always did everything by the book, but I kept doing pregnancy tests because I kept thinking, Have I lost her? Have I lost I didn't know it was a girl at the time, but I kept thinking, Have I lost the baby?

SPEAKER_01

Um Were you involved with the early pregnancy unit at this point to have um extra scans maybe to check the progression of the fetus?

SPEAKER_02

No, they didn't do anything like that. So, like I said, once they were only ever monitoring the heartbeat, um, I just had a couple of extras, and I remember um I was so concerned that I rang up my auntie who was a midwife, um, well, an ex-midwife, and she rang up her midwife friend, and I popped to her house for her to just do a random check um of the heartbeat. Um, but other than that, I didn't get any special treatment at all. It was just a few extra midwives to check the sizing of my belly and things like that. And then once I got to we had the 20-week scan at King's, which is a very thorough um scab where I can remember we were there for two hours. Um, everything was this smooth sailing after that. Okay. And it was just uh you'll be fine to have a regular berth.

SPEAKER_01

Right. Because up to that point were they thinking It was gonna be a C-section. A C-section. Yeah. Yeah. To be on the safe side. Yeah. Okay. Exactly. That makes sense. And obviously that's a decade ago, but are you able to remember what state of mind you were in? Do you think maybe you're helped you? No.

SPEAKER_02

I was anxious as anything. Like I wouldn't drink coffee, um, I certainly wouldn't touch alcohol, I wouldn't even go near a prawn. Anything that was told was bad for you and you shouldn't do. I made sure I didn't do, I took all the supplements, I was a real anxious person, and I did nothing that you weren't meant to do, and I was ever so careful.

SPEAKER_01

Um well, let's be clear, um, alcohol in pregnancy is never fine. Uh it's not a case of no, that's fine, I've got a regular uterus, okay. Let's have a bit of sham. Never enough shrimp.

SPEAKER_02

I know, but some people do tend to have the odd one, don't they? I've never I'm not that type of mum, but I know I know of people that have had the odd toast at a wedding and things like that.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um, but no, I was very careful with everything after that. But I am genuinely an anxious person anyway, but it made me probably didn't help. Yeah, it made me a lot worse. So um, but yeah, and I it was I can remember it the bigger we got and you felt the kicked, it was like hang on. Have again I didn't know she was a girl, but I was constantly, have I felt any movement today? Um monitoring very closely. Very closely. Yeah. Um but I don't think it ever stops even once they arrive. It gets worse.

SPEAKER_01

Oh. Um okay, so 20 weeks um scan, very thorough scan, and they confirm that your but which actually is probably the point where you found out that it was a little girl. No, I didn't find out. Okay, so the surprise baby, then at 20 weeks um confirmation, green flag, yeah, the baby is good.

SPEAKER_02

The uterus is what back to its is this grown as it should. So now the now that bab babies just pushed it out basically. So it with my um second and third, that wasn't an issue at all.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, okay. So it was just the first time that somehow your uterus was like, well, let's be a duplex. Yeah. Um after that it was like, no, no, no, let's be uh a fool loft. Yeah, pretty much. Something like that. Um okay, so 20 weeks, you've got, you know, confirmation from uh the medical professionals, everything is fine, baby is good, uh, growth is good, I'm assuming. Yep, baby's growing well. And so at this point, are you uh do they start talking about birth plan at 20 weeks? It sounds a bit early, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_02

Do you know what? I think, like I said, I think I was so naive, and I'm pretty sure I never had any midwife mention a birth plan to me because I didn't have anything in place, and it was only after that having my first, now I know, like I knew for the second and the third what to have in place. Um I can remember just thinking I wanted a water birth, but never discussed it apart from casually saying, Oh, I want a water birth. I think probably at my 36 weeks um appointment, I probably mentioned it. I can remember my midwife that I saw regularly was called Pat, which doesn't happen now, didn't happen with my second, and it didn't happen with my third. But with my first, the midwife appointments were much far and few between. And um I had a regular midwife at every appointment that I saw, and her name was Pat. So lucky, but I don't think like that never happened with my second, and it didn't happen with my third. So I don't think that happens anymore. Um, which was quite nice. And I remember saying to her, I want a water berth, and she was like, Yeah, yeah, you'd be fine to have that. And that was it. But she never said we need to arrange it, we need to talk to um because the birthing suite at my hospital was called Oasis. She never said, like, let's contact them. But for my second and third, I knew that I had to contact them and um put my neck, like give them the dates that I was due and stuff so they could be prepared for me to turn up.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Um, but it was this off-the-off chance with my first.

SPEAKER_01

So then, first pregnancy, you're chatting with pad and you're telling her that you'd like a water berth, and she's like, Yeah, that's fine, that's good. Yeah. Um, so everyone's very relaxed about it.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Did you ever prepare for this water birth? Did you ever have any, I don't know, sessions, maybe maybe with Pat? Um sound like it, uh, but maybe with other people. I don't know, doula, no?

SPEAKER_02

No, like I said, I was 26, so we were not we didn't have much money. I didn't know about a jeweller or anything like that, and I couldn't afford NCT because I had to pay out for a Pram and everything else. So no, we had no support apart from like my parents and my partner's parents and my auntie, because she's a midwife, everything went back to her a lot. But um yeah, we did I just Googled. That was how I got most of my information, was Googling at the time. And I think back thinking, oh my god, I was so unprepared. But um, but like I said, I was young, I was so much younger.

SPEAKER_01

So you mentioned your partner. What about what was the preparation there?

SPEAKER_02

I I just had m my batter half and my mum.

SPEAKER_01

So it's like, by the way, it's gonna be a water bath.

SPEAKER_02

Oh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Take your swimming trunks.

SPEAKER_02

No, he wasn't getting it with me. He did have that option.

SPEAKER_01

It's not for you. The jacuzzi is for me and the baby. Not you. Yeah, so no preparation for him.

SPEAKER_02

No. And I didn't even bring him. I remember packing um my stuff, and I just brought him um some boxes and socks, but that was it. And then obviously I had a load of stuff for me and little one. But um, yeah, hardly anything. Didn't bring him any snacks, nothing. Didn't even bring him a drink.

SPEAKER_01

So sorry, did you say I didn't bring him a s? Yeah, but I I don't think that doesn't I you know, I think it's fine if you don't pack for him. Yeah, I know I feel like you're busy enough that he he probably should be able to pack for himself.

SPEAKER_02

I agree. But we as you know, we do everything for them.

SPEAKER_01

So So but uh so before we um unfold the story, I was just wondering where did you get the idea from in the first place? Like what did you did did you know someone who had had a water bath or didn't know anyone.

SPEAKER_02

I think I probably just saw it in tele that it was something it was an option. I know they did water baths at home, but I I was not gonna do that at home. But it was just something I've always been comfortable in water. Um, and I just thought it was something that would be right for me. As you know yourself, when you have um period pains, the nice thing to do is go get in the bath. And again, that is such a thing that you get in the water, and as you're having them contractions, you do feel more comfortable because it's nice and warm, you've got the um gravity helping you. It's just more relaxing than laying on the bed against the grain, if you like. Um, and I just knew it was the right thing for me. But obviously there was a lot of things I was really worried about.

SPEAKER_01

Um Did you realise um when you went for the water birth option? Did you realize that it meant a medication free? Or actually, am I even right in thinking it's a medication-free option?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you can't have an epidural.

SPEAKER_01

Exactly. So did you realise just what it meant?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, because I didn't want an epidural. Uh-huh. I really was against epidural. Uh I wanted the gas nair. And I had the gas in air. Yeah, is that you're not allowed an epidural to have it. That makes sense.

SPEAKER_01

That doesn't sound very safe to have an epidural whilst in water. Or I mean before getting in water, but yeah, this doesn't sound very safe. But what else can you get in terms of pain? Um I think it's just gas gas and air.

SPEAKER_02

That's it, yeah. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, I think yeah, if you wanted something like that. But I don't think they genuinely they never offered me that with any of them. Um, but they offered me the gas and air. Um, which really did help. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Good. Right, so um so let's jump to the day or the night, I don't know. How far how far along um did you go in your term, if you remember?

SPEAKER_02

I went to the labor on my exact due date.

SPEAKER_01

Wow wow. Oh my god. And that was a mermaid baby we all you know. So it was a mermaid baby in a love heart shape uterus um that came on their um due date. Exact due date in water.

SPEAKER_02

I mean Yeah, it's bizarre. I literally always say, uh, it m I sound like I'm making my birth story up, but I promise you I'm not. It all fell in this place. And I can even remember the song that she was born to, and again, it did sound like amazing.

SPEAKER_01

What was it?

SPEAKER_02

Isn't she lovely? I swear to God, I'm not making this up. I swear to God.

SPEAKER_00

I'm trying to think about horrible song to be born to.

SPEAKER_02

I know I don't know. Isn't she lovely? But with my I did have my with my son, there was horrible songs playing. I I had everybody hurt sometime, and I was like, why? Why is this playing right now? But um, yeah, my first ball, it was like a real magical experience. When I relay it, everyone's like, really? I'm like, honestly, this 100% happened.

unknown

It did.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so um that is that is so amazing that it happened on your due date, on your exact due date. So on your due date, if you can remember, um, how did the labour start?

SPEAKER_02

So I can remember. Um we had, I was at home, we had we were renting a little flat at the time, and I was at home, and um I woke up first thing in the morning, and um I went to the toilet and I had blood, and I instantly rang my mum, and I was like, Oh my god, this blood. She's like, Don't panic, that's probably your plug. And I was like, Oh, okay. And um, she was like, It just means that baby will be coming shortly, don't worry too much. And then um as the day progressed, I was just getting contractions throughout the day. Um, and I went round my mum's because I was in so much pain, and she cooked us a roast dinner, like I remember eating the roast dinner. Um, and then we did phone the hospital, but they told us like don't rush. Um, and I believe that we left my flat for about 8 30. Um PM. PM. 8 30 pm.

SPEAKER_01

Oh yeah, of course you just had a roast. Yeah. We've been odd to have it for breakfast.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, no, we left at about 8 30 p.m. Um and I don't think I was fully dilated to about eleven, eleven thirty and then my got into um into the water about that time, about eleven thirty.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so you so you phone them hospital when you're still at home. Yeah. When you called them, do you tell them about the water birth?

SPEAKER_02

No.

SPEAKER_01

Or still okay still.

SPEAKER_02

I literally just turned up and I we went to that the main berthing area, and then I was like, oh, but I really want a water berth, and then they rang Oasis, and then we went, we walked over. They were like, Yeah, we've got a room free, tell her to come over. So I was incredibly lucky because it wasn't planned at all. Even though in my head it was planned, it wasn't planned with the hospital.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. It was not shared with the team for for them to prepare for you. Yeah. Tell me a bit about what the room looks like, Oasis. What does it like? Um first of all, I really like it. I mean, we're in the the whole musical theme. Um, so I'm liking that. Um but what what does it look like, that room, when you walk into the room?

SPEAKER_02

So for my first bomb, the room was very big. Um, and in the middle of the room was this massive pool, which looks like a jacuzzi. Um, and it's very, very big. There was a bed, and there was actually a sofa in this room. It was bizarrely big. Um, and I can't remember they had a Dyson uh purifier, and I was like, Yeah, let's get it. Oh, okay. No, a Dyson purifier. I was like, let's stick that on because it's really hot in here. And um, and then they put the radio on and they're like, What do you want to listen to? And I think we just went for heart. Um, and then we get in the water and they give you the gas and air. And I got I did get told off a lot by the midwives because you don't really know what you're doing, do you? You have no clue what you're doing. And she kept telling me that I've got to stop taking the gas in air in and and start pushing. But I just wanted that gas and air.

SPEAKER_01

Um Do you remember how many people were in the room with you?

SPEAKER_02

I had my mum, um, my partner, and then also I had two I had one midwife, but another midwife just kept coming in and checking. Um but that main midwife was with me the majority of the night and until she was born.

SPEAKER_01

What was the atmosphere in that room? Was it sort of calm and relaxed? Or was it on the contrary a bit I don't know, filled with excitement?

SPEAKER_02

I think it was a lot of excitement. It I don't think it wasn't relaxed. Um certainly like looking back at my looking back at all three, the other two felt a lot more relaxed. Um as my first felt more clinical, even though it was water, it was much more clinical. The lights were all the lights were on. Okay. And in my others, they weren't. Um so it was much more clinical. Um but yeah, it like I no one everyone thinks they had a hard birth, of course. And thinking at the time it was like this is hard, like just get out of me now. But um when I look back I realised how lucky I was, but it did feel very clinical and stressful. It didn't feel busy.

SPEAKER_01

Did you ever have any doubts whilst you were going through your labour? Well, you know, when with the contractions coming, do you have any doubts that you were like, actually, do you know what? It's much stronger than what I expected. I've changed my mind. No. Can I have the epidural?

SPEAKER_02

No, I I I was really against having the epidural from the get-go. So that I don't think I would ever would have gone for that. Um but no, I was I knew water was always the right thing for me. Like, I just knew it.

SPEAKER_01

That's so powerful. I'm I'm really loving that. That's so great. Okay, so you're so you're going in, you've got your cheerleaders, um, mum and partner, you've got your midwife staying with you through the night. How how long did um birth last for sorry? Did you mention that um she was born at eleven?

SPEAKER_02

No, I got in the water about eleven thirty and she was born at 3.45. Oh, yes, I am so quite a few hours really.

SPEAKER_01

Um And were you in in water for the whole time? You didn't leave it.

SPEAKER_02

No, it didn't get out. They top top it up a lot.

SPEAKER_01

I was gonna say from a practical point of view, do they top it up to maintain the temperature?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, constantly. So they're like, Do you need more water? And I'm like, Yeah, yeah, top it up. Um yeah, they do top it up a lot. So um, but yeah, no, it was yeah, whatever you want, they get you, if you know what I mean. And they'll call stuffing, if I wanted to get out, there is a bed in that room for you to get out and do what's needed. So, but I was lucky enough that I didn't need to get out.

SPEAKER_01

So what were your um sorry, your mum and your partner doing when you were in the pool? Were they, I don't know, holding your hand? Were they talking to you?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I think my mum was holding my hand. I think my partner was probably just irritating me if I'm honest. Knowing knowing him, I was probably like just go away. I'll probably diswait my mum. But um yeah, yeah, knowing Yeah, knowing him it was probably just annoying me. I don't remember ever shouting or being aggressive towards him. Um I think I was quite tamed like in the water, but yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't remember ever arguing with him, but I know he probably was irritating me.

SPEAKER_01

Poor him if that was not the case, but that's how we'll remember it. Um and now it's here forever. Um okay, and then uh a good few hours later, baby girl comes out. Yeah. It's a surprise, and so you mentioned at the very top of the conversation that she was born in her sack. Yes. So what what does that mean? Because usually babies like um head first and then shoulders and so on and so on. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

But what what does So I she still came out like head first, then shoulders, but because she was born in her because my waters didn't break, she was still in her little sack, and then it I I wish we recorded it because it was like so mad. But she literally swam to the top of the water in this bubble, and then the midwife just like popped the sack and then just gave it to me. Um I'm still in the water at this point, and instantly she pooed this sort of black tar or hold down a bit. You're in the water, so you're not that bothered.

SPEAKER_01

Um also you're probably full of lots of different fluids from yes, so you're probably not that bothered anyway.

SPEAKER_02

Um they gave me only a few minutes, I guess, and then took her off with me and gave her to dad. Um, and then I had to get out because I then had to berth the placenta, which I did opt for the injection. Yes. Because I wasn't going through that again. So um and that was on on a bed. Okay. Okay, so that was not in the water.

SPEAKER_01

You came out of water and that was it. You didn't Yeah, of course you don't go back, because I'm assuming that is probably not the cleanest water.

SPEAKER_02

No. So you come out, you you buff um the placenta, and then they cut the cord. And then it's pretty much your choice if you shower or get dressed or whatever. I think I'm trying to remember, I think I just got dressed and then I cuddled her. And then I think about an hour or so later I did go shower. Um I think, yeah, oh about probably about an hour later I went and showered and really freshened up. So um and yeah, that was was my first.

SPEAKER_01

So that that's such a beautiful story, and I'm so glad that it went the way it went. It sounds like everything was just so just so perfect, so aligned.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I know. Like I said, I know when I'm talking about it, it sounds like I made it up, but I promise you the truth. It's the absolute truth.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so first birth, a few years later, you decide to have a second child. Yes. Did you know already this time from the get-go, it was like it's going to be a water birth?

SPEAKER_02

And oh yeah, instantly, but I really prepared myself that I've already had a water birth, so like like chances are it's not gonna happen because no births are the same, um it is just pure chance, and but in my head it was always a water birth. So from the get-go, I was on and even though there was only two and a half year gap, things had really changed for the hospital. Um, but from the get-go, I was under the Oasis suite. So all of my midwife appointments were now at OASIS, um, and not like before my midwife appointments were either at King's or um the Beacon in Beckenham. But this time everything was just at the hospital or at King's, and um it was all done at uh Oasis because I was I don't know if things had changed or or what, but it was this completely different experience.

SPEAKER_01

Was it a good experience?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah, it was good. Um sh again I had another girl, everything was the Love Heart uterus wasn't it was not a thing anymore. Um I did have a touch of spotting to begin with, um, but other than that, and it was tiny, tiny bit, which I believe is quite common. Um, but other than that, everything was normal. Um and then again she came, I went into Labour on her due date.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god. Did you play the lottery?

SPEAKER_02

I know. Twice. No, yeah. So even though I went into labour on their due date, but because it was in the evening, they were born the next day.

SPEAKER_01

The next day. But I'm I think it's still I think it still counts. In my in my book it still counts.

SPEAKER_02

So, um and again we arrived I can remember again I had the the plug, so I was like, oh, could be coming today. And then um I was still in the same flat actually. And I had contractions throughout the day, but I thought I'm just gonna try to sleep. I went to bed and then at two o'clock I woke up and I was like, This is bad, I've got to ring the hospital. So I rang my mum first because she had to come and look after my baby, and then um and then I rang the hospital and they were like, okay. We're ready for you. Um, so when we arrived, the pool was already set up. I quickly changed into my my top and I got in the pool, and again, um my waters didn't break with her. So I can remember like getting her head and shoulders out, and then it she just came out, but again she was in her sack, but this time as she hit the water, um her sack broke as she hit the water, and the midwife had her, and um and again was giving her for a few minutes until I had to get out to again berth the percenter. Um, and that was a very fast. She I got to the hospital for about 2.30 and at 4.45 she was born, so it was a much quicker.

SPEAKER_01

It was quick. Yeah. No so no roast at this time.

SPEAKER_02

No roast. Right. But again it was evening. Uh in my mind, babies are always born at night, because that's what's always happened for me.

SPEAKER_01

Well, that that's very fair. I think it's quite common as well.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I think it's when our bodies relax. Yeah. That's when we kind of go into labour.

SPEAKER_01

And so for this second birth, did you did you do any preparation? Or did you think I've done it before, I trust my body, I trust myself. Yeah, pretty much. How it goes.

SPEAKER_02

Um I was this obviously very insistent when I worked at a water birth. Um, thought I was very conscious because obviously I meet well, it's your mum, you meet loads of other mums, and you hear about their stories, and I thought it's very unlikely I'm gonna get two water births. Um but it was still that's what I wanted, and I was lucky enough that again I just had a textbook um labour and it was very quick and she was healthy. I again just might I had to add, I was still in my early um mid-late twenties, or well, mid-20s, late 20s, um, which I think helps a little bit being that little bit younger. Um but she just came out really easy, and I can remember we were were home by 12 o'clock the next day. Wow. So like once they did their checks, uh hearing checks and all of that, they then just let us go home at 12 the next day. So we wasn't we were just in and out of that hospital, it was bizarre. And I can remember like walking around Sainsbury's thinking, I gave birth like 12 hours ago, and now I'm walking around Sainsbury's buying her clothes.

SPEAKER_01

I like this idea. Um but it's true.

SPEAKER_02

So um, but yeah, so that was shiddh was definitely my easiest. Definitely.

SPEAKER_01

Because it was so quick?

SPEAKER_02

It was very quick. My body took over. I knew when to breathe. I knew not not I knew when to push and when to breathe, and my body just knew what it was doing, and it was very, very easy. Did you take gas in air as well? I took gas in air I'm taking that gas in air if I can take the gas in air.

SPEAKER_01

I'm taking it home, thank you. I'll I'll go home with it.

SPEAKER_02

No, it was very good. So um and then the unfortunately I did rip every time, but I always had that gas in air when I was being stitched. So which is quite nice that they still give it to you for that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, and so um second birth, so second birth, um, your easiest out of um all three. Yeah. And a few years later you decide to have a third baby. Yeah. Uh still a um gender surprise?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, still don't know what I'm having.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um, but things were just slightly different with this pregnancy. I was a little bit older. I I was now in my early 30s, definitely felt more tired, but I was still very convinced I was having another girl. Um, but my due date came and went. And I was like, oh, maybe, maybe this isn't a girl. Because my due day came and went, and then um I went in to have a sweep, which was not something that I would ever want to do again. And that brought on my labour. Was it uncomfortable?

SPEAKER_01

Was it painful?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I'm just very cringed out by things like that. And um, it wasn't the most pleasant thing, but it certainly did bring on my labour. Like I was ready to have this baby, and it did say I was like, yeah, let's just do the sweep because I want them to arrive. Um, so he was one week late, and the sweep brought the labour on. Um again, all seemed quite good. I rang up. Um, we again going for a water berth, couldn't believe I was getting another water berth. Got to there, the water was ready. Um and pushing him out was okay. It was quite quick. I think we got there again around about the same sort of time. Well, a bit earlier. He was born at 1.30, so we must have got there for about 11-ish. Um, but I remember not being in the water that long at all. And um, and this is when we were having songs that everybody hurts sometimes. And I was like, Who instruments was that?

SPEAKER_01

Was that the radio still? Was that your playlist?

SPEAKER_02

No, it's just the radio, like heart, I think. And I can remember thinking, why are they playing this song? And it was loads of songs about people being in pain. I was like, Yes, I know. Um, but I can't remember what the song he was born to, but there was a lot of wham being played as well. I always say I think he was born to wham. But um once I gave birth to him, he came out, he was a really big boy, um, really big. And then I had to get out and do the placenta, but then I had a really heavy bleed, and I think this is probably why um he was my hardest. Is everything was always really textbook before, um, and everything was really safe, but because I had this bleed, I knit I didn't realise at the time how serious it was, but they got me out, they rushed me straight over to a different unit, um, which was really unusual because before it was like you were just in this thing, in this room until you were you asked to leave basically, you had the birthing suite until you left, but instantly they just rushed me over to a different thing, and I can remember my partner stayed with little man, and um I I was just really like, what's happening? And then they came and they just kept doing checks and I just couldn't stop bleeding, and um and then eventually it just all came to a stop. The blood just stopped, but they had to attach me up to a um oh I can't think of what they're called, a cafeter, which is like my worst nightmare. I couldn't think of anything worse. So I was attached to a cafeter and I was monitored really closely. Um, and eventually I was like, Oh, can we try take it off? So they eventually took the cafeter off and they were like, Listen, you're gonna be in for a couple of days, and I was like, Oh, I really don't want to, I want to go home, I want to see my girls. Um, and they kept they were very cautious, and then they were like, Look, let's see, let's play it by ear. Um, but we need to keep seeing you, we and I was like, that's fine, I love to wear I I just kept going. I love to wee. I do. And I just had to keep showing them my we and eventually they were like, I think you're okay, you can go home. So um, but it was a really when I look back, it was quite an scary experience, but I didn't think it was at the time. But when I think about it they they weren't they I don't remember them doing any checks on little man, they were just worried about me. So my bleed must have been quite bad. Um, but eventually it just sorted itself out. So but yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So you stayed an extra couple of days?

SPEAKER_02

No, they did let me go out, they let me leave. Um so in total it was 24 hours, which wasn't that bad. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

So it was probably more the anticipation of having to stay for much longer, being away from girls. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And that's and I I think I was just really emotional about that, and I was I just want to go home, I don't want to be here. Uh and of course, before I was never an award, I was always just had my own little room. Yeah, that was new. Which was completely new to you. Yeah, and I so it was really overwhelming being an award. And I think most of the women must have had C-sections because they were all on catheters, and I think and it was during COVID, so I had to keep having COVID tests, and it was a really different experience to the girls.

SPEAKER_01

To the to g to the girls, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um But I don't I don't know what caused it. Just one of them things. I just thought everything would be textbook again, and it wasn't. But um yeah.

SPEAKER_01

You you mentioned something about your baby being big, the the third third one, your your son being big. Actually I was thinking, I didn't ask you. Um how big were uh the first one?

SPEAKER_02

They were they were both seven seven point two. Oh, okay. So they're both quite small girls. And then um my little ma'am was eight nine, which is quite big from having.

SPEAKER_00

Did you ever take that into consideration when you considered your water birth?

SPEAKER_02

No, because and I feel like they always say this. They're like, oh, not sure what size baby is, look a bit small, or or sometimes they go, Oh, baby looks a bit big. Um but they would never told me that he was big. Obviously I didn't know it was a boy at the time, but it was this that he's the right size, and I just think he was too big for me.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. May m do you think maybe that's what happened that he was a bit too big and so I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

I don't I no one told me why I bled so much. I was never it was mysteries. Never um told why that was. It was just one of them things I um I could have just had more blood than needed, maybe, who knows? Because obviously and then after each birth they were all very different. Like I can remember I stopped bleeding quite um I like within a few weeks with with my first, but with my second, I bled for ages um like for a really long time. But again with him, it I did stop bleeding after a couple of weeks. So I know e each time it's all very different, but um yeah, I just don't know what that was. And it don't get me wrong, I'm I've I'm very lucky to have what I have, but I wouldn't want to go in for any more. No. Not because of the experience of the last, but I just think I'm I've my family's complete basically.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So And that that came together beautifully as well. If you were to sort of travel in time and meet with Melissa from eleven years ago, what would you tell her? With regards to um the water bus, is there anything that you feel you'd want her to know?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, to be more organised and stop being so naive. So, like I said, I think I was just so young. Um I don't know, I just think I was young and I didn't have any friends with children. Um and NCT was still a really big thing back then, but of course it was so much money. And there wasn't other options like there are now. Um I just think I needed probably th the NHS should have given me more guidance if I'm honest.

SPEAKER_01

Well, did did that change through the births? Did you um find that you had more information um as you were progressing with second and then third birth?

SPEAKER_02

I think you do, but I then think is it that your knowledge grows anyway because you've been through it and your friendship grows because you meet new people and they give you so much advice. And again, my career changed, and I think a big part of my career change with my career path was all around children, which again gave me a lot of advice and stuff. I um yeah, definitely with my first. I was incredibly naive, and I don't think there was much support from the NHS, if I'm honest. And even after there's not much support from the NHS, like in terms of recovery? Yeah, I I think there's probably more with my first than I had with my second and my third. I can we had a lot more home visits, as with the others, there was less home visits. Um and yeah, just little things like that. But if I was to go back, I would definitely say that to join some form of like group, if it was NCT or s or something else, just to have a little bit more support and knowledge from others. And because one of the things I was always adamant about was to not breastfeed, because again, I'm quite a cringy person and and it's right for some, but just I knew it wouldn't be right for me, and I was definitely felt I was very pushed by the NHS to breastfeed. Um, but with my second and third, don't know if that's because I was already a mum, they didn't ask me at all. It was just it's your choice, and that's fine. Um but with my first, I was I felt a lot of pressure from them to try. Um and it again, I just know it wasn't for me. I'm just not sure.

SPEAKER_01

I think it's so wonderful that you know yourself and that you knew yourself so well from such a young age, because I think it can, you know, it's something that very often hopefully comes with age, comes with time. You learn to know yourself better, to trust yourself and your instincts, but to have known that from that young age, I think that's um that's quite wonderful.

SPEAKER_02

Is this because I'm really cringy? I would be like, oh no, I don't uh yeah, I just get uncomfortable by things like that. I just knew it wouldn't work. I did give it a go with with my first but with my second, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Definitely not for me. Yeah, it's not.

SPEAKER_02

And again, that was something I wasn't um like I wasn't prepared for because I didn't know and I had like we had to go get formula from um from the shop that was nearby, but you can't prepare the formula at the hospital, so you have to have pre-made formula and then most bottled teats are too big for a newborn, so you have to get really special made ones, and I was just so clueless about that. And luckily we managed to get the pre-made ones with the tiny little teats from the shop that day. But yeah, I was just looking back, I was a fool. I didn't know anything.

SPEAKER_01

Well, fair enough. It was your first time. Yeah. I think you know, most women their first time, uh, and most, you know, um co-parents as well. Their first time is their first time. Yeah. It is what it is.

SPEAKER_02

And I just don't like this your whole show's about is every other profession we are trained to do a profession or trained to do a job. And this is the one job that's probably the most important job you ever have, and you have no training for it.

SPEAKER_01

Never at any point.

SPEAKER_02

And even we're all just we're all in the same boat, we're just winging it. We are just winging it.

SPEAKER_01

It works out, but it works better when you share your knowledge. Yes, definitely. And speaking of without you, I was wondering, um, have you ever met any other uh mum that had a water birth?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, well my closest friend, um, she's got two children and both of her sort of water.

SPEAKER_01

Wow, as well. Yeah. Oh, that is so wonderful.

SPEAKER_02

Um, yeah. And then um one of my colleagues, she just had um she had a couple, she's got five children. She did have a couple of water births, but she just had twins at home in a water berth, which is very impressive.

SPEAKER_01

I think you need to introduce her to me. I think I need to talk to her. I want to know about You want to know about that. Yeah, I want to know about that.

SPEAKER_02

I'll speak to her.

SPEAKER_01

So maybe you've all heard it. Maybe we'll hear about that soon. Um Wow that oh, I still want to know about that now. That is wild. Um but cool. I think I think we're probably getting to the end of your story. Is there anything you think that we missed or you'd like to share?

SPEAKER_02

No, I just genuinely really recommend water bursts if you're considering it. Just definitely speak to your midwife about it. Um, because it's a really natural way to have children and it's a it's a natural pain relief because you're in hot water, as you guys know, always naturally helps with pain. Um, but also you're positioned in the good gravity, you're not fighting against the gravity, and it's just a really good way of having a baby, in my opinion. And I've always really raved to anyone I know to always consider a water birth when they're pregnant. So that's it.

SPEAKER_01

I think we've all heard it. Thank you so much for sharing your story. You're very welcome. Very precious. I'm uh I feel so lucky that I got to to hear that, and I'm so happy that I get to share it with, you know, the village. So thank you so much, Melissa. Thank you. Thank you for listening.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01

Bye.

SPEAKER_02

Bye.

SPEAKER_01

What an inspiring journey. Three babies, three water baths, and one mum who trusted her body and instincts every step of the way. Melissa's story is such a beautiful reminder that a birth can look and feel different for everyone. And that finding the approach that makes you feel safe, supported, and confident is what really matters. If you'd like to learn more about water births, you'll find all the links in the show notes. You've been listening to Abrazin with the Village. If you're enjoying these conversations, don't forget to subscribe on your favorite podcast platform, whether that's Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or Deezer, so you never miss a new story. New episodes come out every Thursday. You can also find us on Instagram at Raising with the Village or on our website at raisingwith.co.uk, where you'll find more about the project and past episodes. If you have a story to share about parenting, step parenting, or just about navigating family life, I'd love to hear from you. You can get in touch through the website or send a message on Instagram because every story shared helps another parent feel seen, heard, and supported. Until next time, bye-bye.