Feminist Erotica Matters: Reclaiming Pleasure, Consent & Sexuality

What happens when adult entertainment is created through a feminist, queer, and pleasure-centred lens instead of the male gaze?

This week on Ava Devine’s Bad Advice, I sit down with Dahlia Von Knight, owner of Sinners Vault VR and co-founder of Queer Crush, two queer-inclusive adult entertainment platforms focused on ethical, authentic, and pleasure-driven erotic content.

We explore how mainstream erotica shapes expectations around sex, intimacy, consent, and connection, often prioritizing performance over genuine human experience. Dahlia breaks down why feminist and queer erotica takes a different approach by centring communication, mutual pleasure, representation, and realism.

We discuss the importance of foreplay, consent behind the scenes, why many viewers are seeking alternatives to traditional adult content, and how queer creators are challenging long-held assumptions about what sex is supposed to look like. We also talk about representation, inclusivity, body diversity, and why authentic intimacy can be far more powerful than fantasy alone.

This conversation isn't just about adult entertainment. It's about pleasure, connection, consent, and expanding the way we think about sexuality.

So get cozy if you're watching from home and turn up the volume if you're listening—this is Ava Devine’s Bad Advice.

In This Episode:

• Feminist and queer erotica
• The male gaze in adult entertainment
• Why foreplay and intimacy matter
• Consent and performer safety behind the scenes
• Sinners Vault VR & Queer Crush
• Female and queer pleasure
• Representation and inclusivity in adult content
• The psychology of intimacy and connection
• Body diversity and authentic sexuality
• Fan Questions & Bad Advice

🎬 Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for real stories and more candid conversations with adult entertainment stars, experts in psychology, sexology, recovery, and wellness.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

What does it mean to rethink adult entertainment and pleasure through a feminist, sapphic, and queer lens? In this episode of Ava Divine's Bad Advice, I sit down with my girl, Dahlia Vaughn Knights, owner of Sinners Vault VR and co-founder of Queer Crush, two feminist and queer inclusive adult entertainment companies focused on creating ethical, story-driven, erotic content that centers women and queer pleasure. She breaks down why feminist erotica and centering female and queer pleasure matter. We unpack how mainstream erotica has been shaped by the male gaze, often overlooking authentic intimacy and mutual pleasure. So get cozy if you're watching from home and turn up the volume if you're listening. This is Ava Devine's Bad Advice. Well, hello, my Dahlia. Hello. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Very, very good. Now that you're here. So welcome to the show. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Thank you for being on here. No, I'm so honored. You know, you and I go way back. I love you. I love you dearly. But just in case, for the viewers, today we're talking about something that a lot of people consume, but not many people critically examine. Erotica shapes I uh shapes ideas about sex, intimacy, and even power dynamics in relationships. So I'm really curious to hear your perspective on how that could look different with feminist and queer erotica. Okay. So we talked a little bit before, but I want you to elaborate. What inspired Sinners Vault's uh VR and why did you decide to be a co-founder of Queer Crush?

SPEAKER_02 1:48

All right, loaded question.

SPEAKER_01 1:50

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

Uh so Sinners Vault, um VR's new, yes, but really fun, and there wasn't much queer VR porn at all. No. Um also when you Google VR porn, it's just straight white women, um, you know, the same like five girls. Same as like alternative porn. They use the same five tattooed people. Um so I just wanted to create a space, like if you were to go to the red light district and pick your experience. Um, I wanted to create a little VR world where you go into the pink light district and you pick your experience. And this could include BBWs, trans women, um, it could include kink and different fetishes, uh, aside from age play and race play. Um and even like there's educational things that we do, there's comedy. Uh just I wanted something for everyone in there. I like it. And um and both m most of the companies that I do work for or do, it's um I'm losing my losing my words. That's okay. Um there isn't really performing. You know, I want if someone wants to work for either site, they're gonna do what they want to do, what they do in real life. Um, no performing, no acting. We want the viewers at home to relate to what they're seeing. And I think we'll we'll go deeper into that later. But uh we mean deeper. Yeah, deeper. Queer Crush. Yeah, um uh me and Electra Rain uh came up with it. Uh she was tired of not seeing porn that looks like how she has sex with her wife at home. And um, I guess I could also relate. Uh it's ri I watch the same video every time I wanna.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:51

Because it's so hard to find, you know, what what I like. But um she was like, Dolly, do you want to do this with me? And I'm like, hell yeah, brother, let's do it. So we're uh like almost four years now. And um, she funds the uh payment through working at a legal place out here in Nevada, and I think that's so badass. And um, yeah, so for Queer Crush, it's very different. There is no acting, there's no scenario, there's no, it's two people. Hey, I think you're hot. Let's get to know each other. And so they're all giggly and um just having a a good time, you know. Uh they could drink water, they could use lube, they can stop and have a non-sexual conversation in the middle of it. It's literally, if you were at home, what happens?

SPEAKER_00 4:42

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 4:42

And I think that's we want the people at home to relate to that because there's a lot of stigma or assumption of what sex is supposed to look like.

SPEAKER_01 4:53

Sure. And so there's no script where you're like, okay, you're gonna come in and pretend you're the milk woman and you're the plumber. And okay, so there's no script. Now, also when when you're talking about sinner's vault VR, would you tell the viewers what exactly? So say if you hired me, okay, to be tell me, tell the viewers and myself what would you what would I be doing?

SPEAKER_02 5:16

Whatever the hell you want to do.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

Okay, but but I'd be catering to instead of telling the man to pull out his penis or or schlong, right? I'm talking to the woman, the female audience. So I do both. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 5:31

Um especially if the person that I'm shooting is actually queer. Yeah, we're gonna do like a lesbian J O I or something. Great, okay. I've actually filmed a lecture doing that. I really want to do more. Yeah. It's just to sit there and pretend there's a woman in front of you. What would you do? And you just look through the little the two eyeballs. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 5:51

Yeah, but you know, sometimes we use a torso that is, you know, is you know, there is a lot of porn that I do for men. It's just more of we're not faking, we're not performing. You know, it's okay if you fuck up or just do what you would do.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 6:09

Just more chill, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

Okay. Okay. Great. Okay, Doll. Yeah. So here's a question that we talked about prior to this interview. How is feminist erotica different from mainstream erotica? Elaborate, please.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

Yes. So feminist is when uh you believe that men and women are equal. But I think in this scenario, um, when we're talking about adult film, it's more of uh mainstream.

SPEAKER_01 6:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 6:40

Or uh queer.

SPEAKER_01 6:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

Queer is a is a big word and encapsulates what we're what we're doing. Yes. Um I don't want to say that mainstream is better or, you know, they're not they're so, yeah, they're they're so different. It's really just what you enjoy. Um of course, mainstream has more acting, more performing, more for the male gaze, more, you know queer porn is usually more authentic. It's more laid back. There is more care into it. I don't that's a really I'm not saying that mainstream doesn't have care. Exactly. Um, because nowadays mainstream is getting better about like their consent talks. Yes. So I think just queer is more real, sure, authentic. Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:40

And just in case like somebody's under a rock or doesn't understand what when you say queer, describe that umbrella or describe that that category. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:51

Everyone probably has a different idea, but to me, queer is a lifestyle. It's more open-minded, you know, in my beliefs, like you only live once. Uh, there is no time for shaming people for liking the same sex or being bi, being pan, being poly. Um just fucking do what you want to do.

SPEAKER_00 8:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:16

And um love each other, care for each other. It goes more, like queerness to me is more than just sexuality. It's a way of life.

SPEAKER_01 8:25

It's um yeah, it's yeah, a way of life. Sure. Um and sometimes it's same sex, sometimes it's trans, sometimes it's with uh non-binary, right? Exactly. So would you say that um would you shoot male, uh male and female adult uh films with like the the the talent would be male and adult. Okay, so that would be that could be four centers?

SPEAKER_02 8:51

Well, yes.

SPEAKER_01 8:52

Okay, and could you consider that queer?

SPEAKER_02 8:55

Um my set, yes. Of course. But I mean, I'm very picky with who the men that I bring around.

SPEAKER_00 9:04

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 9:05

Uh so yeah, if I'm gonna work with a cis man, they have to be open-minded. They can't be a butthole.

SPEAKER_01 9:14

Yeah, sure, sure. Um and would pegging be involved? Because like I don't think uh naughty America, like I'm just naming a uh a company, uh, would have a peg scene.

SPEAKER_02 9:23

I would put it so so that so so yeah. If they want to do schlong into donut, cool. But my preference, my priority is that would be pegging, uh girl on girl.

SPEAKER_01 9:41

Yes, specify, yes, you know, trans on girls, trans on male, okay, cis men. Okay, I like it.

SPEAKER_02 9:49

I want to have a space for everything. Exactly. Me as a queer woman and what I actually enjoy, I just want to prioritize that. There's plenty of other hetero. Sure, exactly, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 9:59

And and so that's why there is a difference, and that's why you and and Sapphire created this. Electra. Right. Electra, sorry. Um sapphix, sorry. Yeah, Electra, yes, sexy name. Okay. All right. Why is centering female pleasure important in this industry? Come on, baby. Oh, you got a good one.

SPEAKER_02 10:20

Wait, wait, wait. I'm still thinking of the last question. Okay. Because I want to make sure that there's a difference. So queer crush is no cis men.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

Okay, perfect.

SPEAKER_02 10:31

Queer crush is sapphics only. So trans women, non-binary, into other women.

SPEAKER_01 10:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 10:38

Uh so no cis men, no pegging on that one. Okay. Queer crush is authentic lesbian porn.

SPEAKER_01 10:45

Yes. Made by dykes.

SPEAKER_02 10:47

Our crew, all dykes.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

Okay, love it. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 10:50

Next question. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 10:51

No, well, that's important though. Because, right? We need to exp explain the difference, right? Yes. Because a lot of people don't know. I didn't even know, to be quite honest. So that's why I wanted you on here because I need your explanation. I need you to elaborate. Okay. All right. Why is centering female pleasure important in this industry? Tell us about Queer Crush.

SPEAKER_02 11:12

Well, I feel like this is gonna come up a lot, but it's kind of annoying when men watch porn and then they're ex like then they're like hooking up with someone in their real life, you know, and they're expecting that this is how it's supposed to be. Oh yeah, I'm supposed to pound you really hard, and oh yeah, that feels good when the girl's in pain the whole time. And well, what happened to foreplay?

SPEAKER_00 11:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:40

Um so like I said, there's so much films out there. I don't know if there's much that we can do to help that issue. But if we can make more queer porn, more porn or sorry, adult films that um focus focuses on actual pleasure and saying, like, oh, that doesn't feel good. Like just slower. More we make slower people. Can you can you go slower? Yeah, right? Okay. Um focusing on female pleasure. Uh I don't know if I really answered the question, but You did. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 12:24

I I hear I heard it. I hear that it's it's realistic that we like foreplay, or there should be like foreplay, right? And it's not about taking me to Pound Town immediately on your set, right? You're you're you're v or it could be, right? But but generally speaking, right, you want to showcase that the feminine approach wants foreplay.

SPEAKER_02 12:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:47

Not all, but for through your eyes, since you're the director, yeah, you want to see a little bit more foreplay.

SPEAKER_02 12:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:55

I like it. Yes, take your time.

SPEAKER_02 12:57

The body that you are trying to please. Um.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

Sure. And and you did touch on it earlier. You said it's realistic. Realistically, at off-camera, I'm not going to pound town. I don't want that. You know, on camera, cool, if that's what the scene requires. Yeah. If the script requires. Exactly. But at home, yeah. No, thank you. You know, I mean, sometimes sure, switch it up. But generally speaking, yeah, can we have a little foreplay? Right? Can can we put a little romance? Can you, can you, can you pet me? You know, can I pet you, right? You know. Yes, right? Yes. We didn't go straight into strap city. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

Round two. Yeah. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 13:42

Stay tuned. Okay. All right. What does safety and consent look like behind the scenes? Let's talk about that.

SPEAKER_02 13:55

Good question.

SPEAKER_01 13:56

On your set.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

Okay, focusing on my set. Okay. Um well, beforehand for Queer Crush, we send out a survey before the scene. Like, I don't know, like when they first say that they want to shoot for us, we'll send the survey. And that they'll answer um questions like are if they're comfortable talking about when and how they knew they were queer, um, anything they're not like verbiage they're not uh comfortable with, um toys that they prefer or don't want to do, what their testing protocol is. And so we'll that I think that's where consent starts. So once we get that survey back, then we'll look at it um and plan from there. When we're on set, um, we'll have them show each other their tests and then we'll go over do's and don'ts.

SPEAKER_00 14:44

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 14:44

So um we have to make sure that at least two of us are in the room uh to listen to that in case we need to cut at any time. But Queer Crush is very different. The performers are allowed to call cut whenever they need. Sure. They could pause, they could take a break whenever they need. Um but for safety, yeah, if they say they don't like spitting and the co co-performer doesn't catch it, then we will cut. Um yeah, you have you can be very vocal about things that don't feel good or oh, I didn't like that, or go lighter. Um, we keep all of that in. We keep bloopers in the whole scene. Oh, fine. So yeah, it's it's really cool.

SPEAKER_01 15:25

I like that. Okay. Very realistic. Yeah, okay. Okay. Now I can't speak for everyone, but I know it's common for people, especially women, to engage with queer porn. I've been told by friends that they prefer it because it feels safer. Okay. I want to know your thoughts on that and your opinion. Why do many viewers, including straight women, seek out queer porn?

SPEAKER_02 15:54

You know, my answer I think is because it's it's slower. You can tell that I'm not just a cis man trying to get my Yes, get off. Yeah. There is mutual respect. I feel like Yeah. We just care. The experience is enjoyable, I guess. Maybe we're not thinking about the money that we're getting paid and we're not even getting paid most of the time. We're just trying to create content.

SPEAKER_01 16:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:26

Um you're slower. You're really like, I don't know. There's a difference between men liking like the attraction men have towards women and the attraction that a a woman has to a woman. I think it's it can be softer and you pay attention to details. You would you pay attention to body language. Not saying that men can't do that, but a majority there's a a certain way men are. Um I'm not a man hater, I swear.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

No, I know. We're we're not. We're but that we're not. Like, like we're we're trying to like express like Yeah, there's just a difference. Exactly. I know a lot of my girlfriends that are so-called straight, whatever. I don't really believe in straight, but whatever. Exactly. My opinion. But they're like, oh, I like I I love to watch girl on girl. And and I know some guys are like, girl on girl's hot.

SPEAKER_02 17:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:20

Like, so so tell me about that.

SPEAKER_02 17:22

It's sensual. And I mean, I know what parts I have, I know what I like, and so I'm gonna try that on a girl. But again, if she doesn't like it, she's gonna tell me and she's gonna guide me, and it's just more of an experience instead of a show. Yeah, a sh a show, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:45

Yeah, yeah. Or an act.

SPEAKER_02 17:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:47

Right? And and and we don't mean faking, I mean it's an act, right? So it's like, wait a second, yeah. I want a little bit slower, you know, and and does it look good on camera?

SPEAKER_02 17:57

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 17:58

We don't care.

SPEAKER_02 17:59

Even like in personal life, I feel like it's more of a performance too. Like you're performing to get this guy off. Yes. But when I'm having sex with a girl, it's it's calm. Uh you can really enjoy it. You're not trying to put on a show for your per your your other person.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

Yeah. Um it's more intimate too. Very when I'm with a girl, it's like we kiss gently, we touch gently, you know?

SPEAKER_02 18:36

Yep. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 18:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:38

So I know you too.

SPEAKER_01 18:42

I'm like, and you can tell I'm a bottom.

SPEAKER_00 18:44

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 18:48

Okay. But okay. Um do you feel that queer porn creates space for more authenticity and fluidity?

SPEAKER_02 18:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 18:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 18:58

Yes. Please make more queer films.

SPEAKER_01 19:01

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 19:02

The more we make, the better it's gonna be.

SPEAKER_01 19:04

Yeah. And and what do you think? Like, I know I remember back in like uh you're too young to know, but like 90s, early 2000s, that was like really popular. How do you feel it is on a scale of popularity in today's society?

SPEAKER_02 19:18

Uh I don't think it's as popular as it was then. And I actually do collect those films. Awesome.

SPEAKER_01 19:25

Ugh, yeah. Right.

SPEAKER_02 19:26

It's so different. I I always say that I wish I grew up in the 90s. Yeah. Because life was a lot different, especially in the in the porn world.

SPEAKER_01 19:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 19:35

Or adult film world.

SPEAKER_01 19:36

Yeah, you're fine.

SPEAKER_02 19:38

Uh it was raunchy and it was so like taboo back then. So I think it was a lot more exciting.

SPEAKER_00 19:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:50

But it just Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:00

Yeah, I mean, it's back then it was like, you know, I don't know, it was very uh I mean, it was it's very glamorous, you know, to see girl on girl.

SPEAKER_00 20:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

You know, and yes, it was like, you know, it was like there was candles and and there's like, you know, fluffy pillows. Like, you know, like I'd watched Jenna Jameson and and uh what's the other girl? Tara uh I forgot there was another, there was Tara Patrick, Tara Patrick, you know, and it was like, I don't know if they'd but like what I watched, it was like very I don't know, it's very glamorous and soft and gentle and and and white lingeries and stuff. And and like today that that's like you said, it doesn't necessarily have to be like that, but but it was it was such a like a beautiful, it was like a beautiful thing, you know? It wasn't in the um van or anything, you know, or like it was like like you know, candles and stuff like that, which is hot too, but like even girls in vans are hot too, you know. So it's like I mean it doesn't matter, but I'm saying back in back then it was like a a big production. And today I feel like it's that's it's not as relevant, yeah, you know, and I'm not sure why, but yeah, it is very different, and I'm not sure why either. But I I bring it back.

SPEAKER_02 21:17

Uh that's I was just talking with Summer, actually, Summer and Cody Vore about um, because they also go back and collect and admire. And I'm like, you know what? We need to recreate this. This is insane. This is so hot. Yeah. So that's it.

SPEAKER_01 21:32

And it did very well in the 90s. It was like guys, cis men, straight women, cis women, all about it. Yep. Right? Yep. Yeah. Okay. Um, what are your what are people missing when sexuality is uh only portrayed through heteronormative dynamics? We I mean we touched on it, but let's yeah, let's let's touch on the softness. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:58

Um pleasure.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Sensual yeah, sensuality, right?

SPEAKER_02 22:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:03

Yeah. Yeah. I agree.

SPEAKER_02 22:06

I I wish I had the words. I I suck at words, but like just I wish people could just like go in my head and see what I'm thinking. Like just let loose a little bit. Like pull the stick out of your yeah, right. Um just why? Like if you enjoy things with like same sex or a trans person, that's okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:34

Like sure.

SPEAKER_02 22:35

Like uh Summer was saying, like we are humans and sexuality is part of it. It's normal.

SPEAKER_01 22:42

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 22:43

And the whole stigma about same sex and uh it's annoying.

SPEAKER_01 22:49

Sure, but but like what what was discussed, you know, with Summer and I too, there's a lot of uncomfortability because some could be envy, right? Some could be I'm not supposed to, even though deep down inside I'm gonna secretly, you know, or in my head, but but I don't, I'm so uncomfortable with it that I'm gonna pretend that I hate it and I'm gonna point at it and make fun of it, right?

SPEAKER_00 23:11

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 23:12

Mm-hmm. Right. So it's like, yeah, unfortunate. And and sorry, that's that sucks for that person, right? But but you know, and look, heteronormative uh dynamics works. I'm not I'm not hating on it, right? We're not hating on it. Sometimes I like that. Sometimes I want to be treated like that. But for the general part, I think it's great to have variety.

SPEAKER_02 23:33

And exactly we need variety, right?

SPEAKER_01 23:35

And and if you want to focus on girl on girl, sensuality or not, yeah, great, right? It's yeah, that's what it is. Variety is the spice of life.

SPEAKER_02 23:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:46

Okay. So I totally understand now the challenges facing female and queer performers, but also those who want to be able to consume erotica that makes them feel safe and aroused. But I want to talk about the psychological impact of always seeing heterofocused erotica. How can repeated exposure to male-centered erotica shape expectations around sex and intimacy, which we talked about before, but answer that question again.

SPEAKER_02 24:14

That's the uh a big problem, in my opinion. Um the the people watching don't see the consent talk. I feel like normal people in their sex life are not having consent talk, especially in the hetero pairings. Uh they're seeing the edited version, yeah. Um major, like, oh yeah, the plumber's coming in and I'm, you know, they're gonna rail me. Like, oh god, please, no. Like the expectations or uh yes, yeah, the expectations, and I've even dealt with this in my personal life. Like, well, I want the dahlia experience. Sorry, buddy, like uh that was performing. That's not me. Um it's hard.

SPEAKER_01 25:10

Exactly. Oh, it must be.

SPEAKER_02 25:12

Because now you just like, you know, I d I struggled with that a lot of wow, he doesn't like me because I can't give him well, I don't want to give him this performance.

SPEAKER_01 25:22

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 25:23

It doesn't feel good to me. I'm supposed to do this for you so you could get your pleasure.

SPEAKER_01 25:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:30

Not not feeling it. Exactly. So yeah, it's teaching men that this is how you're supposed to do, and that this is okay, and that's right. And um sex just looks like this. There is no other way, there is no fluidity to it. That's another big word in my brain, heart, fluidity, fluid. You can experience so many different things and enjoy it. And just be fluid and oh god.

SPEAKER_01 26:06

Yeah, no, no, no. Well, yeah, see, see, I wanted to ask that question because I am able to like understand. Like when I would uh go and meet and greet, um, you know, the people don't understand that in that one scene, I starved all day. We start right, like that I starved all day so I can go so deep down my throat. And but then guess what? When I when that scene is over, I'm able to eat my meals, right? And then when I'm meeting and greeting, right? That's from like sometimes 8 a.m. to like 11 p.m.

SPEAKER_02 26:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:42

I it's unrealistic for me to starve that long. Yes, and like they're like, but I want to I want you to be what I saw on that. And I'm like, but I'm human, honey. Like I'll try my hardest, but I just ate like I had no choice, or like like and and you know, and I understand that, but at the same time, it's like they have an expectation, right? And even even when I date, they're like, oh, I expect Ava. And I'm like, you know what, but like there's you don't have to go that roughly because there's no camera and I'm not benefiting from this, like other than to please you, and that's not really cool. What about me? Exactly. I'm here too, right? So yeah, so it's like that expectation is like I'm human, yeah. You know, and and as much as I want to be a blow-up doll sometimes or a sex doll, I'm human. At the end of the day, we're human, you know? So it's like the expectation for the um, you know, the male-centered erotica is cool, it's great, but yeah, we're human, right? And and we're feminine, you know, like we're females. So sometimes I want to be cuddled.

unknown 27:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:55

Just for like a few seconds.

SPEAKER_02 27:56

Yeah. And I don't know how we help that. Like, yeah, there's a difference, okay, watch this film over here, but I don't know, we can make all these educational videos, but what's gonna make them watch it? Or exactly put like a a blurb before the film, they're not gonna watch it, they're just gonna be able to do it. Sure, of course. So, and I don't know if that would, you know, damage the film industry when people don't look at it the same.

SPEAKER_01 28:23

Sure. You know, that's exactly. But but how we can help them, or maybe it's not even about them, it's about us being able to have a voice and go, Yeah. Safe word, pause or cut, like, you know, like I could. I could say, okay, uh-uh, cut, you know, and just be more vocal, right? Yeah. So I don't know. You think that's a good idea?

unknown 28:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:46

All right, Dolly. I got Dolly's approval. Okay. So I believe that everyone should enjoy whatever type of erotica they want, but I'm also aware that when you seek it out, often it's the women, it's the woman being subjected to a more aggressive or degrading type of adult films. What concerns you most about that sexual content being more mainstream than the latter? And or is this just a hetero issue or all genders? I mean, because don't forget. Well, you elaborate and then I'll I'm gonna I'm gonna chime in.

SPEAKER_02 29:20

Yep. Again, same same issue. Uh I feel I don't know exact numbers, but if I were to guess, I would say like 85% of films is going to be uh your dom man and your submissive girl. Sorry. Um but okay, so put a pin in that. There is dominant women and submissive girls too. Yes, but it's from my experience, the consent, the talk that goes in before it is a lot different. And in my experience, in the queer realm, the people that are DOMs are experienced and trained versus this random male talent that's hired to do this, that doesn't know where to hit in the right space. And you know, you could really hurt someone when BDSM is a huge part of the queer community too. And mostly if you're doing that, you're actually into it in your real life and you practice and play outside of work or outside of the camera. So I think that's a big difference too. There is no education and training on the main side mainstream side when they're asked to do this scene. Sure. And I think that's really scary and really effed up.

SPEAKER_01 30:51

Yeah. And and also like when we're talking about BDSM, right? There's always a crew on set that know um if you're getting rigged, right? If you're getting tied up, right? They there's help.

SPEAKER_02 31:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 31:03

And when you have to get down, there's help. It's not just that the DOM.

SPEAKER_02 31:08

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 31:08

Right, doing the work. There, like there's a full crew that's helping you assist, being assisted and all that. Um, in you know, the mainstream, I'm not sure if if there's even a safe word.

SPEAKER_02 31:21

I would hope so. You know, I've never done a BDSM mainstream store.

SPEAKER_01 31:25

I mean, uh there's not really BD, but like I'm just saying, if the guy is uh, you know, making me go down roughly, like I don't think there's I mean, we can just say stop. You know, I don't think there's like red or you know, we we and there's nothing we don't discuss that. We just say stop or not, you know, or I don't even know if that's being discussed, not that I think about it, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:44

I also feel like in the on the hetero mainstream side that there is um a pressure to not stop saying. Complain.

SPEAKER_01 31:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:56

Yeah. You don't want to be a diva, you just want to power through it. And then at the end, I've heard plenty of stories, you know, all over Twitter, you know, of something that happened on set. And I'm like, well, a lot of people are like, well, why are you waiting a year later to say anything? Because you're scared and you're in shock. And yeah, the industry industry does not teach treat you very well when you complain.

SPEAKER_01 32:21

Sure. Sure. Speak up. Sure, but but I feel like I have to be my own advocate. Like if I let allow someone to treat me like that, like I play a big part in it though. Like, like whether it's fear or not, I gotta stick up for myself. Cause because I will get resentful. I will be in pain. And so I do gotta speak up for myself. So it's like it's I understand the fear factor part, but we like we have to speak up because nobody's gonna do it for me. Nobody's gonna go, uh, pause. Is it the director's like is this too rough? Like, yeah, we're shooting, right? So I just feel like I don't know, but it is difficult. Yeah, it is, it's hard.

SPEAKER_02 33:00

Or you should have model liaisons or you know, someone there to keep an eye out for you. Like the way I look at it is uh, these people are here for me, they're doing me a favor, they're creating a scene for me. And if they're uncomfy, they're not gonna come back. They're gonna tell their friends that they had a bad time, and then those friends won't want to come work for me. So just make a good experience. Care for your performers that are doing you the biggest favor and putting money in your pocket.

SPEAKER_01 33:27

Yeah. Yeah. Um, but I do see like ha the mainstream ha are having model liaisons and and uh as they should because too much crampy shit happens.

SPEAKER_02 33:38

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 33:39

And and and that was from all those negative experiences in a lot of people with the the you know, the me too and all that, but which is fine, right? And and I think it's important about the do's and don'ts. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. How how do feminist and queer erotica approach power, consent, and communication differently?

SPEAKER_02 34:01

Um I don't want to name names, but I've seen some of the mainstream, you know, consent, and there is one that is doing a little better than the others. You know, they have a whole chart, you know, they have a a print list, yeah. Uh, of a outline of a person, and you go from head to toe what you're okay with, what you're not okay with, with everyone that's in that scene, and where signing. Yes, I saw their consent and you know, and all around the table. Um, so that's good, but I can't, you know, I don't know of anyone else that goes that into detail on safety and consent. And it I feel like it's kind of just like, oh, it's this thing that we have to do, and like the directors or whoever else the crew is that's in charge of keeping the performer safe, they're not actually listening, like, and things are just going, and then that's when things um I feel like the end product or the end goal is different from mainstream to queer or indie film. Like, yeah, we're here to make a s uh a scene. But I don't know, the people over here, indie, queer, it's about I don't want to say not the performance, but the act and the the enjoyment, uh everyone's safe um to make a beautiful film. Over here, yeah, you make we want to make a beautiful film. You want to make a a film that's gonna get a dude off. Sure. Um and your paycheck. Sure. You want to make sure that your boss is gonna like the scene that you submit to them.

SPEAKER_00 35:51

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 35:52

It's just a different vibe. I feel like you're walking on eggshells over here, but over here, you're just treated like a human and not uh not a piece of meat, but like just dollar signs.

SPEAKER_01 36:08

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and and in all fairness, I will say at least the male uh talent are much more aware these days. And there's so much protocol now. Like you said, there's a checklist with like circle the body part you don't want, you know, be touched or like we're we're getting very detailed. Yes. We're getting very, very, very in into depth of what is cool and what is not. So it's great.

SPEAKER_02 36:32

We should want a set that sh stuff doesn't happen.

SPEAKER_01 36:35

Yeah, most definitely, most definitely, yeah. But but for your for your sake, right? You just like the people to just enjoy themselves. Like you said, there's no script. So it's not like, okay, we need uh five minutes of uh BJ, five minutes reverse, right? Yeah. And so it's just like, hey, let's just have fun. Yeah. So there is a difference there, you know? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:56

For Queer Crush, uh, they ask us, like, how long does the scene need to be? I'm like, well, we would like at least 20 minutes, but if you finish at 15 and you had a great time and there is a authentic authentic ending and you're all cuddly now, I'm just gonna pan off and cut.

SPEAKER_01 37:13

That's great. Sure.

SPEAKER_02 37:14

That's what felt good to you.

SPEAKER_01 37:16

It's great. See, I like that. Now now I do have a quick question. What do you think? How is the uh VR going for the the J-O-I for the women? Is that does that sell? Is that is that big in demand?

SPEAKER_02 37:28

So I I've only done one.

SPEAKER_01 37:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 37:30

And I did, it was a really sweet comment on one of them, and it was from a woman, and she was like, I'm so I'm so glad you thought of us, you know, more of this. And so there is some woman watching it, so I I am motivated to do more. It's just really hard for me to find dikes, you know, people that people that really know what they want to talk about and what they enjoy on women. So yeah, I definitely want to do more of that. Yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_01 38:01

You know I love J O I guess I love it all. Yeah, exactly. But J O I for women, or whoever, yeah. You know I love it all. Okay. Okay. Um, all right. So uh what do you why do you think mainstream heteroerotica often centers around male pleasure?

SPEAKER_02 38:25

Because that's who's watching?

SPEAKER_01 38:27

Exactly. I think it's the consumers. Yeah. And and look, this is the business, right? So we gotta cater to who's purchasing them, right? So it's it's not necessarily a bad thing, but that's who purchases most of the adult stuff.

SPEAKER_02 38:42

That is another thing that's tough, is because lesbian films don't sell that much. It's but I do it because I enjoy it. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 38:52

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 38:53

There needs to be it needs to exist. So I'm gonna keep making it. Good, right?

SPEAKER_01 38:58

There is a market.

SPEAKER_02 38:59

Making money, but people are having fun, it's hot. I don't know, maybe things will change later.

SPEAKER_01 39:05

Sure, who knows? Maybe all the viewers will be like, okay, let's let's check it out. Yeah. Come on, you guys. Yes, and girls, and whoever. Yes. Okay. Okay. In what ways do you think mainstream erotica teaches people distorted ideas about female and queer pleasure? Or is it a myth? And we we touched on that.

SPEAKER_02 39:23

Yeah, definitely not a definitely not a myth. Uh there is no education on like what you need to do to get a donut ready and um how things can be enjoyable and that it is okay to check in with each other and you're not, you know, just pounding like a fucking brick. Yeah. Like get some rhythm in there. Go, you know, like focus on your person that you're also should your focus should be trying to please them, not you getting your thing. So and also time. Time is a lot like men have a distorted idea of how long they're supposed to be doing this act for.

SPEAKER_01 40:09

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:10

And what's normal is actually not as long as they think. So and they get like, oh, I wish I last longer. Like, yeah. That was that was plenty. Exactly. That's great for me. For sure. And you obviously you had a great time.

SPEAKER_01 40:24

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 40:24

We don't need to be doing this for three hours.

SPEAKER_01 40:26

Exactly, exactly. And and and look, some like I said too, also the edited version of of the scene. Yes, you know, I mean, it takes longer, but but people don't realize that. Like, like there's cuts. Yeah. Like we take water breaks, we use the restroom, and he needs to get work in the case. Exactly, exactly. He's sitting in the corner or whatever, you know. So it's like people don't understand the real the true scene, right? So they think I gotta be Superman and you know, last for hours. And for me, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I'm like, yeah. And and honestly, it's not about rushing. It's it's like the passion's there. It's like my body feels it. My body wants climax for both of us. Yes. You know, it's like 15 minutes, 20, whatever. Like I don't even calculate. It's just I'm not trying to do a marathon. Cause then, you know, it's like it, then, then, then it's like, am I d doing a job or a scene or like then then I lose all like Yeah, you just dissociate, sure. Disconnect. Sure, sure.

SPEAKER_00 41:30

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 41:31

Okay. I suspect a lot of women and members of the queer community struggle with knowing what to ask for and how to ask for their sexual desire. How does performative pleasure affect viewers psychologically?

SPEAKER_02 41:45

Kind of hit on that too. Uh yeah. And mainstream, you you have a script, you're s stuck to the oohs, the ahs, the o's. Five minutes in this position. Yeah. Um it's just a different vibe. And on the other side with you, with yours. Yeah, that's welcome. You we don't want you to have a bad time. Um again, we want the people at home watching to know that that is normal. You don't have to stay in this position because you're trying to perform for your partner. Say things don't hurt, and you know, your partner should be more than willing to switch things up and make you both feel good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:32

So you don't need the angle of reverse for five to six minutes. No. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:38

We I mean, we don't even tell them to open up to the camera.

SPEAKER_01 42:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:42

The only thing we say is, hey, you could use those pillows to prop up hips, you could throw the pillows off, just try and keep your hair out of your face. But if you don't, I'm not gonna cut, you know, and mostly I'm focusing on faces, you know, and the enjoyment rather than the penetration.

SPEAKER_01 42:57

Yeah. Yeah. Cool. All right, I like that. Okay, how do you think the male gays have shaped the industry?

SPEAKER_02 43:04

I feel like it's most of the shaping, and we have our little queer community trying to change that.

SPEAKER_01 43:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:12

Uh oh, that's a tough question.

SPEAKER_01 43:16

Yeah. Um I mean, my for me, like my my bad advice would be like, like I said, this is a business. We are, we are like, what do the viewers want to see? What are the consumers? Uh I think like the mainstream companies look and see which sells the most. So obviously they're like, you know, that's gonna go up better. I'm not sure if you guys do that, but I do. So okay. So so you see, like, say if um a trans is with another woman, that's like the hottest thing lately that's selling for you. You're gonna want to shoot more of that, right? So it's like, I understand we're not bashing anybody, but I guess the viewers wanna see more of that, right? But we are able to shoot something differently for variety.

SPEAKER_02 43:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:58

Right. So everybody has a. has a a taste.

SPEAKER_02 44:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:03

Right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:05

We can't like I'm going to do what I want to do. So, you know, there you it is a business and you are focused on money, but when you're already in a niche that doesn't make a lot of money, it's it's a little different.

SPEAKER_01 44:20

You know? Uh but at the same time, maybe it's not making the money now, right? Yeah. But but right, maybe this is going to get more out in the open and and more socials and more recognition eventually, right? Yeah. Or not. Regardless, you're having fun. Yeah. Right. And and this is a sexual expression and creativity for you. More correct. Exactly. Exactly. Okay. All right. So I don't want to neglect my male audience because I believe that they could benefit from watching erotica through the lens of other groups. I also feel that um they also suffer when they are only exposed to male-centered pleasure like what we're talking about. Do you think mainstream erotica disconnects men from desiring queer and female pleasure?

SPEAKER_02 45:07

Yes. Sure.

SPEAKER_01 45:08

Yes. Sure. And that's what you're here for, right? Yep. I like it. Well look at you, Dolly, you're, you're helping. You're helping many. I hope. Yes. I hope. Right?

SPEAKER_02 45:20

Yeah. I really, I wish I need to get my words together and really, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:27

You're doing great. This is because, well, look, you guys, this is for YouTube, we got to watch our P's and Q's. Yeah. But honestly, you're doing great. You're articulating beautifully and eloquently. This is your, this is your creative, this is your creative space, right? This is what you love, right? Res despite if it's a moneymaker or not. Maybe it will be, maybe it won't. But you're just sexually expressing yourself creatively and doing something you love. So it's a win-win.

SPEAKER_00 45:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:56

Right?

SPEAKER_00 45:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:58

I think so. Okay. So closing, um, Dolly, your insight has been very eye-opening. I really enjoyed this. I've been in the industry for a long time. And I know what without female and queer adult entertainers, our industry wouldn't exist. My fans wouldn't exist. They love all that. Yeah. Right? So why shouldn't their pleasure and representation be equally important? Right? So this is your purpose. Okay. So before we wrap up, I do have questions from fans. They want to hear your bad advice. As an owner of a feminist and queer and sapphic erotica platform, what kind of future would you like to see for the adult industry? Look at these fans asking that. Let's hear your bad advice, Dahlia.

SPEAKER_02 46:45

More inclusivity. Give more chances to people that aren't white and skinny.

SPEAKER_00 46:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:53

I like that. I want to see more everyday looking people having a shot because everyone has sex and like these men that are watching it should be exposed to that too.

SPEAKER_01 47:12

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 47:15

I'm always pro queer more more queer media. So watch it. Consume it.

SPEAKER_01 47:25

Enjoy it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:26

Enjoy it, please, yeah. With no um not no pressure. No judgment. Yeah. Um it's okay if it makes you tickle a little bit. Like I said, be fluid. It's okay. This is our one life experience. As much as you can.

SPEAKER_01 47:44

Sure. Sure. I like it. Okay. Another fan's asking what would surprise people about the reality of feminist porn production?

SPEAKER_02 47:58

Surprises. I laid it out pretty pretty. Yeah. We have fun. Sure. No, that that's a great answer. Are having so much fun and uh you know a lot of the time me and my PA are like laughing behind the camera and like are trying not to laugh and um I'm blushing and like oh my holding my mouth the whole time. Like it's so beautiful to see actual chemistry um rather than like being calculated on everything that you're doing and counting the minutes and making sure you have the right lighting and angle. Like yeah we're still worried about lighting we want to make sure you see stuff but it's just more magical I guess it's going to go to work. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:46

Yeah. All right. I like it. Okay. Here's another question. Do you think mainstream erotica teaches men, women andor queer performance rather than connection performance rather than connection?

SPEAKER_02 49:01

Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes yes a hundred percent um yeah it's all it's it it is performing. That's you know what you are as an adult star is you are a performer especially in mainstream when you want to be a content creator and create your own stuff and make queer film some of that is let go a little bit so yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:28

Sure. But but here you are right here you are right to to give it all. So I love it. All right. Well thank you so much Tali for being on here did you have fun? I did have fun. Did you? Did you get all bubbly and excited and warm and fuzzy and moist or yeah yeah but job well done yeah thank you for having me no thank you for being on here okay so this wraps up another episode of Ava Divine's Bad Advice. So here's my bad advice for all of you watching and listening. Okay. Drop your inhibitions if there's movement in your pants that's a good thing. Yeah and guess what we're all humans and and the reality of it is sensuality sometimes is hotter and and and consent is important. And I understand sometimes you want it just raw and nasty but sometimes sensuality is what's needed. Foreplay is fun. And that wraps up another episode you guys I will see you next week over and out. Thank you