Episode 13: When I Choose to Overdo It: Autonomy, Chronic Illness, and the Right to Decide

In Episode 13, Kari explores a deeply familiar tension for people living with chronic illness: being told “don’t overdo it.” While often well-intentioned, Kari explains how this phrase can feel controlling, dismissive, and painful, especially for people who already live with constant limitation and loss.

This episode is not about ignoring consequences or denying the reality of chronic illness. Instead, Kari centers choice and autonomy, emphasizing that chronically ill adults still have the right to decide how they use their bodies, even when those choices come with a cost. She challenges the idea that risk assessment belongs only to healthcare providers or loved ones, pointing out that everyone, ill or not, makes daily decisions that balance effort, desire, and consequence.

Kari distinguishes between denial and intentional choice. Denial looks like ignoring limits and warning signs; intentional choice means understanding the risks, planning for them, and deciding that an experience, connection, or moment of normalcy is worth the recovery that may follow. She shares personal examples, painting a room, tending a garden, attending events, that highlight how quality of life can sometimes matter more than symptom minimization.

The episode also explores the emotional layers beneath choosing to “overdo it”: anger at the unfairness of illness, grief for lost capacity, and even moments of rebellion as a way of reclaiming humanity. Kari normalizes these feelings while encouraging safe, thoughtful decision-making rather than high-risk behavior.

Practical strategies are woven throughout, including planning rest before and after activities, adjusting hydration or medication when appropriate, modifying events, accepting help without shame, and avoiding stacking multiple high-cost activities. Kari also offers scripts for responding to people who repeatedly warn or monitor, helping listeners protect their autonomy without escalating conflict.

The episode closes with reassurance and permission: wanting a full life does not make someone reckless. Choosing joy is not denial; it’s human. Sometimes rest is the right choice. Sometimes the moment is. Both are allowed.