Two Women. One Choice. Alcohol Free and Happy As F***! | Ep 1

Funny. Free. Happy as F***!  In this debut episode of Happy AF, hosts Maxine Linehan and Isabelle Laurier share how one crazy challenge and one very real conversation sparked a zero-proof journey neither of them ever expected. From quitting alcohol to finding freedom, laughter, and clarity, they flip the script on what it means to live alcohol-free. Sober and Somber? No Way! Happy AF is honest, hilarious, and unapologetic. This is the story of how it all started and how  they discovered living alcohol free is far from what society tells us: it’s not dull or restrictive, and they’re not “sober.” They are empowered, free, and funny as f***!

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www.happyafpodcast.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:04

Welcome to Happy AF. That's happy alcohol free. Or better yet, happy as fuck. Either way, we're zero-proof, but full of laughs. I'm Isabel Laurier.

SPEAKER_02 0:15

And I'm Maxine Lenahan, and together we are changing the narrative on drinking booze. One hilarious episode at a time.

SPEAKER_03 0:23

Hi, everybody. I am Maxine Lenahan. I am uh an Irish singer, actor, producer.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

I'm Isabel, a chemical engineer. Oh gosh. French is so much more impressed. Impressive French Canadian, meaning that I'm from the part of Canada where you speak French. I'm not part French and part Canadian. That doesn't, I'm sure it exists somewhere, but that's not me. And therefore my accent is funny because I learned English when I was 11. Okay, so it's not, I didn't come out of the womb speaking this way. Um we're super excited to be talking to each other, but before we go deep, I'm almost off the sauce a year. It's gonna be in two weeks, I'm off the sauce a year, but I still need a crutch. And it's not too early. That's a beautiful thing of drinking AF. You can start as early as you want.

SPEAKER_03 1:15

Oh my gosh, as early as you want. All of the amazing.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

Come on. Oh my gosh, it's legit. By the way, when I was drinking, I would have already been on. So why change about habit? No, give me a winky, baby. Make yourself useful. Come on, geez that women nowadays.

SPEAKER_03 1:34

Okay, so I think the best introduction to us, and you know, we're here to talk about alcohol-free living and how it has impacted our lives, the reason we made the decision, the experiences we've had, the challenges we've had, the relationships that have been impacted, blah, blah, blah. But I think we have to first of all talk about how we met. How we met. An Irish girl and a French-Canadian girl in not in a bar.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

Not in a bar. Actually, our first meeting was in a bar, but that's not how we met.

SPEAKER_03 2:07

That's not how we were connected. Correct. Yes. So we were connected by a mutual friend. A mutual friend who um a couple, Ryan and Kate, um, who we were really close with respectively, as wine connoisseurs. Right. I mean, that's what we bonded over. And I can't believe, actually, when I think about it, that you and I have lived in this tiny little corner of Vermont and had never met until this moment when I'm having a wine dinner. Cheers. Oh, cheers. Slauncha. Where are my manners? Chin chin. Chin chin. Um, that's lovely. Listen, it's good shit.

SPEAKER_01 2:51

I don't drink, I wasn't drinking cheap stuff when I was on the sauce, and I'm not drinking cheap stuff.

SPEAKER_03 2:56

No, and every single one that you have recommended to me. Oh, gosh. There goes Priscilla. There goes Priscilla. Oh my gosh, that's exactly what that was. That was the laptop of my creative director. Okay, hold on, let's fix that.

SPEAKER_01 3:10

Poor Priscilla. Priscilla, are you okay? Wait, if you're okay.

unknown 3:14

Gosh.

SPEAKER_03 3:15

So we met we met through our friends Ryan and Kate. They were here having dinner with Andrew and I. Um, and all of the time years that we've known them, we were such close friends, but we bonded over wine. Of course. Like we had collected certain wines from California together. Anyway, they were here for dinner, and it was the first time I was not drinking at a wine dinner.

SPEAKER_00 3:38

Right.

SPEAKER_03 3:38

And I I kind of just dropped it on them. Or I don't know. They knew, they knew I was not drinking, and we'll tell the story each of us of how we got there. But um, you know, we're sitting down to dinner, and I was like, Yeah, no, I'm not drinking wine. And they were both like, for good, for what what? And, you know, everyone's trying to process the fact that I said I'm not drinking. Um, and and then they said, you know what? This is crazy. Our other friend, Isabel, who we have been drinking great wine with for years, also just quit drinking like two weeks ago. There's something in a war. And they were like, how what is going on? And then Ryan said, Hold on a second, how come you two don't know each other? Right. And it was so funny because he was like, I can't wait to introduce you. And he said, Then I want a big bucket of popcorn and I want to sit and watch you two meet each other.

SPEAKER_01 4:34

Yeah, because it was like you're shy and she's shy. And then it's gonna be really awkward for the two of you to make friends.

SPEAKER_03 4:40

I don't know, you'll ever have a conversation. It's like he actually said, he said, I think the world might like go off its axis. It's like, what's gonna happen when you oh narrow Priscilla?

SPEAKER_01 4:53

I think your thing is not like poor Priscilla. You know, on Soft Park, I used to listen to that years ago. They're like, somebody killed Kenny. Ours could be like, oh, there goes Priscilla.

SPEAKER_03 5:04

Yes, somebody dropped Priscilla. So Ryan and Kate say, You've got to meet Isabel. And they just connected us by text, and then we met. Remember that first night we met?

SPEAKER_01 5:13

Yes. And the thing is that by the time we had texted so much that by the time we met, I felt as though we were like, let's catch up on all days. Yeah. You know, we had already like this is right.

SPEAKER_03 5:27

We had like we had a text exchange. Once we started going, we were like, it was a hundred texts over the course of a couple of days because we couldn't believe the connection, you know, and the idea of people from two countries, which we joke about all the time, like drinking cultures. Drinking cultures. Drinking is a national sport in our cultures. And here we are, and we've met in Vermont, and we've both made this decision. That was the other thing, right? Within weeks of each other. Correct. So two weeks of each other. Within two weeks. So we we had just independently made this choice and then came together, and the rest is history. Because here we are. Let's each talk about how we made the decision. Um, like, how did you what what was the moment or the catalyst?

SPEAKER_01 6:18

Right. Or so yeah. So, first of all, like you and I have that in common that there's no rock bottom moment. So my rock bottom was like falling off a barstool, right? So that's certainly not a hard rock. I I mean, I was drinking bottle, bottle and a half of wine a day, every day, for like 20-something years. As I said, no hard rock moment. I would wake up at five in the morning and go work out. Yeah, but a bottle and a half, that's if there was no big party going on. So, you know, it could go standard hydration. Standard. Yes, and I could hold it like a sailor. So no one has ever said to me, you should really think about your drinking. No one ever. On the opposite, people would be like, maybe you need a drink. Because it was a fun drunk. Yeah. But, you know, and you're, you know, I'm an engineer, I'm a science-based person, you're like, I drink too much, I had diarrhea every day because I had to take two pepsidae C in order to not have acid reflux, you know, my sleep was starting to suffer, and it was not going down. My consumption was not going down, it was going up. So I would try to moderate, and that was hard. And as I was trying to moderate, because I never wanted to quit forever, I'd studied to be a sommelier.

SPEAKER_04 7:31

Yes. That was the other thing we had in common.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

My mom was like, Don't you think you think justifying your alcoholism a little bit too far? Like studying to be a sommelier. Anyway, um, so I was not at all wanting to quit. It was not on my radar. Yes. And I picked up a book, and I don't know if I'm allowed to name it. No, we have to name it. Oh, okay. I don't know anybody, so it was the naked mind. Yeah, right. Yeah. And because she basically, this is just a meta-analysis, she went and took all the good studies on stuff and put it out there and explained them properly. Yeah. And once I understood what was happening in my brain, that I could not just have a glass, because when I just had one glass, I felt like shit. I understood why. Yeah. I was like, man. The science. Now I can't, yeah, I can't unknow it. I just couldn't drink anymore. She broke it for me.

SPEAKER_03 8:21

And that was it. Annie Grace, this naked mind. She messed it up. That is the book. I mean, it really is the book that was the catalyst for so many people. So then you just one day, after you'd read that book, you were like, That's it, I'm done.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

I finished a book four days before my birthday. And it's September 13th. And my husband was like, On your birthday, you can't give yourself a pass. And I I couldn't because I was like, it's not a pass now. And I see it's it's not, I'm, it's not doing anything for me. It was a switch that just and it's not like you know, like life wasn't wonderful like right away, but it wasn't as hard as I thought it was gonna be. I used to be a two-pack a day smoker and I quit smoking 23 years ago. That was far harder. Uh, because I just you know it's bad for you, but you know, and I was younger. Uh, but this is just yeah, so it was a switch, it turned a switch. I saw it for what it was a poison that I thought was making me calmer, but it wasn't, that I thought tastes good. That the one, the only thing I disagree with her with. It does taste good.

SPEAKER_03 9:31

I like wine. Okay, but that's a conversation that I like this because that is one thing I I don't know. We we have to explore that because I think it is different for every person. But so my um alcohol-free origin story, but it's the same, right? Neither one of us were people that um ended up in rehab. No, neither one of us were people that are like, oh my gosh, that person has lost a job, has lost a relationship, has right? Right. It was it was not that. And that's the thing that I think is important in these conversations, is that there's no, I I can't remember which book it is that talks about the spectrum. Right. And as soon as you've had the gray, it's like there's, you know, there's people who don't drink alcohol and never have, or you know, one of my aunts in Ireland who I think has had six glasses of wine in the course of her entire 60 years of living, um, there's those people. Right. And there's there's full addicted alcoholics, um, people who just battle with addiction their whole lives and are in and out of rehab, and some find recovery and some don't. And then there's everybody in between, right? And if you've had alcohol, you're somewhere on that spectrum. Correct. But so for me, it was exactly the same. No plan. I didn't, you know, think, oh gosh, I really need to stop drinking. Now, for many, many years, I would think I need to drink less. Correct. Moderate because I kept trying the whole moderation thing, but just never worked. And I am somebody who spent um 30 years drinking alcohol on and off, sometimes not drinking at all, obviously during pregnancies for me, but also my Irish Catholic guilt during Lent never drank alcohol, would do dry Januaries, would happily do all of those things and not, it was never difficult for me. I'm like, people are like, oh God, how do you not drink for 40 days of Lent? I'm like, so easy. I just don't drink for those 40 days.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

That would be horrible. That would listen. If I try, when I was trying to moderate, and I would be saying, I'm gonna dry, I'm not gonna do Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. It would be like this, Thursday, come on. Like it was hard. Yeah, hard, but quitting was easier.

SPEAKER_03 11:42

Yeah, well, and I think if you give it up for a chunk of time, yeah, for two, yeah, you know, so for me, 40 days was it, but I always had the oh, I can't wait for Easter Sunday when I'm going to have champagne and chocolate for breakfast. So that was the absolutely right, right. Um, so so there was no, you know, rock bottom moment for me either. For me, it was feeling at the end of the summer of last year of 2024, September rolled around, and I always like September because to me it's like a little mini start again. Yes. And I was like, ugh, I feel ugh. Heavy. I feel like I had a very fun and very indulgent summer when it comes to food and wine and barbecues and parties and da-da-da. And I just looked in the mirror and I was like, oh, I'm ugh, I look ugh, I feel ugh. And there was no like pinpoint anything is wrong. I said, you know what? I need a reset, I need a cleanse, I need a, and I'm all about that. And I discovered late to the party, because I guess 75 heart is the you know, this um oh I could never do that. God bless you, oh my lord. And I guess it became viral during COVID. Anyway, a friend of mine was doing it, and I learned all about it, and I thought, and so you know, for people who don't know what 75 heart is, it's this challenge, uh, a health challenge, a health reset for 75 days, two workouts a day, 45 minutes each minimum, a diet of your choice, right? You pick something that's structured that you think you can stick to, big one, no alcohol, right, one gallon of water a day, and reading, like self-help, self-development, self-growth. Can I say this would have sent me right to the bottle?

SPEAKER_01 13:25

That's a hard. I don't know how you did that. That's hard. All of this, oh my God. I'm like, you know what I've been like, that's fucking I raised my glass to you, sister. Wow, that's hard. I can't believe you did all of that.

SPEAKER_03 13:40

Plus, you quit drinking. Wait, I did the 75 hard. I love the 75 hard. I love the 75 hard so much, I did 150 hard. So I doubled down. What is wrong with you? I don't want to join your quad. After the 75 days, for me, I was like, I feel so good. What you did, just felt so good. And I was working out, I was like, 20,000 a week. Not 2000. No, two times a day. And that that was actually tricky because it it was time management. Like, where do you fit in two separate things? No shit. Then you have two kids. I don't know. Five o'clock in the morning, get on your Pelotone bike, and before dinner or after dinner, depending on you know how light it is out, go for a walk for 45 minutes. So it once I got in the structure of it, I am someone who thrives on structure and a challenge. So it just really spoke to me and it worked for me. And after 75 days, um, the thing that made me double down was the reaction of other people that were putting pressure on me to start drinking again. Right. So a lot of my friends were saying things like, Ugh, when is that 75 hard over? Throughout my life, people would say, Ugh, when is Lent over? Right, right, right. And I'm like, hold on a second, you're not not drinking. I'm the one that's not drinking. Why do you need Lent to end? Why do you? Why do you want my 75 hard day 75 hard challenge to be over? And so it made me think, okay, what is the expectation on of other people on me at the end of 75 Hard? And I was like, you know what? And it was coming up to the holiday season. So everyone was like, oh my God, thank goodness that's gonna be over before you know Thanksgiving and Christmas and all of that. So I got a little anxious about it and I said, you know what? I'm actually doing it twice. I'm doing 150 hard. I'm doing 150 hard. You know what?

SPEAKER_01 15:29

Instead of doing that, there's a way easier way to get rid of people. Go on. You look at them and you're like, why don't you go fuck yourself? Right? Mind you, I'm not drinking. That's it. That's what I would do because I'm lazy. I'm not unlike, unlike Maxine everyone. I'm not struggling. Well, no, that's not true. I'm a Virgo and I'm an engineer. I'm structured, but I'm not a sadist. No. Sadigist? Sadistic? How do you sadistic masosadicist? Oh gosh, I don't even know where you're going with that word.

SPEAKER_03 15:58

But you know what I mean? But no, no, no, no. I get you. You would have just given people the middle finger. But for me, I internalized it a little bit. And but I also wanted to figure out why I was feeling this way. Like I was feeling stressed. People pleaser. I am a people pleaser. Absolutely no question. Total people pleaser. Also, I work in the arts. My job is to please people. So um, anyway, the last day of it happened to coincidentally be January 1st, 2025. Oh. And still, through those 150 days, I wasn't thinking I'm done with alcohol until that morning. And I woke up and we were down in Florida on holiday with my husband and my kids. And it was the first New Year's Day in 30 years that I didn't have some kind of hangover. Right. I was awake at six o'clock in the morning. My daughter and I watched the sunrise on the beach. We ended up picking up garbage. And it was in that moment, sitting on the beach, where I said, you know what? I'm done. Right. But that was it. It was just a moment where I sat really quietly and thought to myself, I'm done. I don't need or want this in my life anymore. That's the thing.

SPEAKER_01 17:06

I so that's for me, it happened really fast, and I couldn't maybe there's a higher power that decided to help me out, but I don't want it. Like I'm I'm more calm, I'm less reactive. I don't want it. The only time that I don't even want it, but that I don't even miss it, but I feel as though it made a hole. Yes. Right? But I don't want to fill it with booze. No. But the only time I'm like, oh man, now it's there's a little bit of a hole, is like, let's say you are in a situation you're at the dinner, you're at a party, and it one of the compliments people give me, they're like, Man, Isabel, are you sure there's no booze in your wine? Because people think I haven't changed, which is great. Yes. But then they get wasted, which is fine. I don't care. My husband still drinks. Yeah. Uh and your husband still drinks. But eventually the party gets for me boring, right? The jokes are the same, they get repetitive, they get sloppy. And I don't feel I'm not, I feel they know that people are excluding you, but you're not included anymore. Like you're not enjoying yourself, and they seem like that, and you just want to go home. You've had enough. Yeah. So I feel sometimes a little bit left out in that sense. But I don't want to belong to the group. I'm done, right? But you're like, all right, so, but then when you wake up the next day, I'm quite glad that wasn't part of the, you know what I'm saying? Because they didn't have fun, they didn't look like they were the fun part of the evening is before everybody gets wasted.

SPEAKER_03 18:37

Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah. No, and I think, you know, this is a perfect segue to talk about why we're doing this podcast. Right. So when you and I met and we talked about it, and instantly we just had such a similar path to alcohol-free living. And um, we connected so much. For me, you know, when I wrote a newsletter to my fan base about this, and the response to my honest storytelling that was what I've just told you just now, not some big drama. I was picked off the gutter and had left my children stranded. Like it wasn't one some big drama like that. But it was giving me the opportunity. What I did in that period of time was start to feel um I did this mental trick where I was like, oh gosh, if I was drinking, this is why this is how I would be feeling right now. Right. So, for example, on that New Year's Day, waking up and going, oh God, if I had we had gone to the Fontainebleau in Miami the night before, which was the absolute worst New Year's Eve of my life because it was just so poorly organized, and we spent thousands of dollars on these tickets for Calvin Harris to please my children who I thought they were gonna love this. And Calvin Harris came on, calling him out now if he ever sees this. He came on at 11:59. That sucks. It's like anyway, so and we ended up going home and it's not I did not miss alcohol. We had the wristbands where it's an open bar, everything, and and there was no missing it because I was locked in. Right, correct. And then the next day, I just started this thing, and I've done it, I've done it a thousand times since where I think, oh, if I drank yesterday, this is how I would be feeling today. Right. And on that New Year's Day, I was like, if I were drinking yesterday, even if it wasn't a big party, which it wouldn't have been when we were just with our kids, I would still be like this morning.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

And not even the next morning, for me, it's also been has your drinking. So it takes a little while to get there. Like you're not gonna feel this way after two weeks. But yeah, after like, even I threw a bachelor's party for my sister nine days sober right here in Vermont. And I even like, even though it was early, I remember thinking, if I were to drink right now, you know that kind of sluggishness that starts creeping into you. Yeah, there's a point where you actually, when you are removed from alcohol for long enough, meaning a couple of weeks, you start liking not feeling sluggish. Yeah, yeah, you know, not having that kind of buzz. You know, one of my friends was like, Don't you miss the buzz? I was like, actually, I don't miss the buzz. No, you know what I mean? You know, because the buzz is such a small part of it. And I don't and it makes you kind of dolls everything out.

SPEAKER_03 21:28

Yeah. You know what I mean? And the euphoria of a clear mind and and a body that feels energized, right, so far surpasses for me any drunken happiness. Right. Look, I I am a naturally happy person. Well, we're both high on life. We live high on life, and I have always done done that and lived that way. So I don't, you know, I also, neither were you, a person who needed alcohol to go to a party. No, that's not. Not who we were. And but so that newsletter that I that I shared in January, I got hundreds of people writing back to me. Wow. To say, I've been thinking about this. I've been and so it really surprised me. And now I still hear it all the time. I had a friend visit me from South Carolina a couple of weeks ago, and she said, Oh, I just wanted to say thank you for inspiring my husband. And I was like, Oh, you quit drinking? He quit drinking. She was like, She read your newsletter and thought, I've been wanting to do that. Right. And so I'm going to do it. So the reason for this podcast for you and I is you and I have just felt so inspired to talk about our experience to see how that can start the conversation and other people.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

Other cool people. That was one of my biggest things is feeling, you know, I like I'm 53, but I forget it all the time. Oh, me too. And there's a part of me that's like, I'm cool. Of course I'm not. Okay. But I think. Oh, okay. Stop me right there. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 23:07

Look at you. You are the epitome of cool. You are you can't do it. French Canadian annual cool. Like it's your listen, so you don't even stop.

SPEAKER_01 23:17

But when you quit drinking, I was like, so I don't do drugs. Yeah. I quit smoking cigarettes. Nah, I'm quit drinking. I was like, shit, what am I? Like Mother Theresa? Like, where are my cool like where's gonna be my cool edge? I kid you not. Like a five grader. I was like, oh my God, now I'm like this squeaky clean, like what the hell? That's not matching my tattoos. Like, oh shit. Like I was that really bothered me. Like that image of like you go to a party, like, hey, you want uh, you know, some wine? Oh no, I don't have a consona. I was like, oh shit, my image. Yeah, yeah. And I started Googling cool celebrities that didn't drink. Like I wanted a lot of them. Right. And so because what I listened to a lot of podcasts, and it was always like, no offense to mothers or anything, but like mommy, sober mommies, like these like beauty pie, like really nice people. And I was like, I want cool people that don't drink, I want badass people that don't drink. Yeah, and when I met you, I was like, okay, cool. Now there's one badass in my town that doesn't drink. Yeah, I'm starting a movement.

SPEAKER_03 24:18

And I was like, we were hoping that this podcast would be to represent the badassy, yes, and also the the space on the spectrum for everybody to be a part of this conversation. You don't have to be an addict, you don't have to be somebody who says, I need to stop drinking. It it's just an awareness. You don't have to be a goody two shoes. No, no, and the whole idea of this is entertaining, inspiring conversation. And look, you must be living under a rock if you don't see that more and more people are talking about living without alcohol.

SPEAKER_01 24:59

Because we're realizing that we're just a victim of this huge marketing couple. Yes, right? Yes, that is the alcohol industry, which is the same as the pharmaceutical, right? It's a huge lobby. And we're realizing, like, remember, like this guy, like I think was a general surgeon of of um England, lost his job when he blew the whistle. Yeah, that alcohol was like a carcinogen, like uh asbestos. Yes, and like put there was like no alcohol that's good for you, blah, blah, blah. They canned him. Yeah, it's such a like a big thing if you quit drinking or you demonize alcohol, all of a sudden, you know, there's there's something wrong with you. Whereas like someone pointed out to me, you know, as well, you go to a party, this person quit drinking. And he's like, you know, if you're like, oh yeah, I don't drink, I love, you know, a merch, virgin, blah, blah, blah. People are like, oh, what happened? He's like, if I had quit cooking, nobody would ask me.

SPEAKER_03 25:52

Oh my gosh. So, Jim Gaffigan, one of my favorite comedians, one of my favorite clean comedians, he does a whole bit about this. It's like you go into a party and you're like, no, he must be if he's telling this joke. Where uh he's like, you know, I don't, I don't drink, and people are like, Why? You know what I've been thinking about. What's wrong? And he's like, You nobody says that when I say I don't want mayonnaise on my sandwich.

SPEAKER_01 26:12

They're not like, why? Do you have a problem with mayonnaise? I wasn't uh I was at a uh lunch with a bunch of like engineers, you know, like engineers in construction, like a cool bunch, right? White men in a certain age. And you hear And you so like So I'm one of them. So we're sitting at luncheon and everybody's having wine and it's my turn. So I'm like, no, I'll just have club soda. And then someone's like, and they're used to me drinking like a fish. I can't drink everybody under the table at the table. And he goes, You're not drinking? And I go, I'm pregnant. And I left it like that. I didn't even start laughing or anything. I left a pregnant pause, and the whole table went like this. And this was like six minutes ago. I'm like 53, I've been menopaused at 40. Like every world knows. It was pretty funny. And then I fessed up, no, I'm not pregnant, asshole. Oh my gosh, I wish there was video footage of that. I should have filmed it, it was great. But next time someone does that, you know, you're just like, I'm pregnant. Well, they might believe you in your case, but me, it was assured. Oh no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 27:09

No one, no one is believing. I had a hysterectomy to 10 years ago. So, you know, the ship is there.

SPEAKER_01 27:14

Well, we have so much, I don't have an hysterectomy, but I have an unused uterus. We're like on this, we're like so similar in so many ways. So many ways.

SPEAKER_03 27:23

Accents and the other, yeah, accents, right? Um, although uh, you know, and actually where we're from, I think is another big part of the the one of the challenges of not drinking. Of not drinking is people's view of, I mean, for me, I mean, how many drunk Irish jokes have you made in your life? I mean, it's like people still say it to me. Right. I mean, you know, I mean, I the the ignorance around everyone's culture, if you're not really well, well read, but you know, it's got it's pretty extreme. My experience has been over the years, for everything from your Irish, oh, I loved that movie Braveheart. So I'm like, well, that's about Scotland. You know, I've never seen it's hysterical. You know that I've never worked about that. Um, but you know, the thing that always goes with Irish, oh, Irish, oh, you guys love to drink. Did it? It's just this constant thing that has loomed over our country forever. No, I'm not saying there's no smoke without fire. You know what?

SPEAKER_01 28:28

Like, we might get canceled for what I'm gonna say, but you know why our countries drink so much? Because we were both under the juke of Catholicism, and you needed something to forget. Oh, yes. Right? Yes. I mean, like, so you needed something to forget, like this prison you had been put in. Right, right. Did I did I just lose half of our audience right now?

SPEAKER_03 28:46

No, no, no, I don't think so. And but and it's but it's true. Right. It's it's it the the um the guilt and the structure and the things that come around certain cultures uh ends up leading to the world.

SPEAKER_01 28:59

And if you keep your people drunk or stoned, as a matter of fact, they're too buzzed to see what's going on or to rise up and to wise up and revolt.

SPEAKER_03 29:09

Yeah, and look, listen, the Irish people we're storytellers, we're partyers, we we love to do all of that, but the stereotypical Irish drunk just drives me crazy, you know. It's it but you have with your French connection to to wine and the culture of wine in and your upbringing, yes, it's it's the same. It's like people are like, What do you mean? You know, people would say to me, You're Irish and you don't drink. I mean, you must get the same thing.

SPEAKER_01 29:40

Oh, well, so yeah, so just even like, yeah, my mother who doesn't really like drinking, just she have a glass of wine and not finish it, right? Like it's not a thought. Yeah, yeah. It's like me and sugar. I don't care for sugar. I'm one of those, yeah. Right. So she's there like that with booze. And yet, when I was seven years old, and she denies that because she thinks I'm trying to call like protective services. I'm like, mom, don't worry. I turn out okay. But when I was about seven or eight years old, I'll never forget we're at a restaurant and everybody's having red wine, and I was the only child. And I had a seven up, and my mom took some of my seven up, put it in a separate glass, and put a little bit of red wine in it, and she said so that you can get used to the taste. So when you're older and you go at work, you you know, you drink red wine. And this is not someone who's she's not an abusive mother, let me tell you. No, no, no. But it was part of the cultural that you need to drink wine, and especially French Canadians. We were uh the kind of like the bitches of Canada, like we were the little people back then in the 70s. We drank beer, you know. So we were starting to come out of our shell, shelf, shell, shell, yeah. So drinking wine was a sign of sophistication, right? Like along with learning English. You were drinking wine, you weren't like a blue-collar, like you were somebody had gone to university. And so for my mother, it was very important that I knew how to drink this beverage, you know, of grown-ups. So yeah, I told you when I showed up with non-alcoholic wine in my parents' house the other day for myself, mind you. And no, I I was not gonna share shit. Shit's expensive. My dad almost had a heart attack. Whoa! I'm not, no, no, you're like it's not for you. Um relax, you know. So, yes, it's been quite a shock. So they don't even know that we're doing this podcast. I'm not even telling them. No, don't. No, I checked this in there, I did. Listen, like they'll cut me out of there.

SPEAKER_03 31:39

They'll cut you off. I mean, and then again, it's like, oh gosh. So my my alcohol very beginning. Um, I was just, I just had my childhood best friend here for the weekend. We've known each other since we were two, two or three years old. And um, we were talking about an Irish upbringing and and what that's like. And for me, so in Ireland, alcohol, certainly when I was growing up, 70s and 80s and early 90s, alcohol is a no. You may not have it. You need to know that stay away from it. It is bad for you, the divil drink we call it. So there's a real awareness that it is bad for you, and no, certainly when you're young. So we have this thing in Ireland called in Catholic in Irish Catholic upbringing called the pledge, where you pledge to the Holy Spirit or something. The Holy Spirit, I think, yes. It's been a long time, uh, where you pledge not to drink alcohol. So it's when you're confirmed, when you get your confirmation. Right, right, right. Do your confirmation, you pledge not to drink alcohol to a certain age, and you can either choose 18 or 21. Um, overachiever, I was like absolutely going for maximum credit here. So I'm committing to 21. And I had no problem with it. But when I think back when I was doing all this exploration into why, for me, the, you know, this this connection and then now disconnection from alcohol and not wanting it anymore, is when, you know, going back to think, when is the first time alcohol crossed your lips? So your yours was in a seven-up pocket.

SPEAKER_01 33:13

I was just thinking the pledge that would have sent me to become Protestant, like right away.

SPEAKER_03 33:17

It would have been like, ah, drink this. We need you to get used to this very special taste. That's a therapy. For me, it was I was a flower girl, I was in the bridal party of one of my aunts when I was very young. So I want to say I was like nine or ten years old, and I was up on the altar, and I remember, you know, one of those moments that's just in your brain. You can never ever forget the feeling and the moment, the crying, the emotion, where you know, you they're giving you communion. Uh-huh. And and normally they would skip the kids where you don't have to drink the wine, the blood. She cried horrible. Oh my god. So the guy, I'll never forget this priest. I don't remember what he was looking, what he looked like, but I remember him standing in front of me, and I remember this chalice being given to me, and me standing, looking at him, thinking, Do you see that I'm a child? I like I don't want that. And then he just looked at me and he went, Well, I would have whooped up a stroke. So I you were like, Have you got some seven up that I could just I need to cut it? Um, so I took it and I drank it, and I remember it tasting like poison to me. And I'm and it's in my mouth, and then I start bawling, crying, and I see my my parents in the pews going like this.

unknown 34:29

Stop.

SPEAKER_03 34:30

I was embarrassing everybody because I was crying up on the altar.

SPEAKER_01 34:33

Your parents ever force you to swallow, right?

SPEAKER_03 34:36

Or drink alcohol at the time. It was so I was like, okay, so um that was the memory of me hating it so much. And then it was, okay, now go back to you're not allowed to drink anymore. Right. And so for me, not drinking, I didn't drink my first alcoholic beverage, aside from that very difficult moment on the altar. Um, I was 20. So I didn't, like I stuck to my pledge because I believed, I can't remember what I believed. I can't whether it was I was going to burn in hell or I was getting extra special treatment in heaven. Right. But I, you know, that's what we're being taught as Catholics. Of course. It's one or the other. You're either getting a special chair upstairs or you're burning in hell for breaking these rules. So for me, I was like, oh gosh, I pledged to drink. And when I got to 20, which I think is pretty darn great. Um and then from 20 to I'm 52, and so also almost a year. So from 20 to 51, though, um, three decades of rock star life. Absolutely. You know, once the door was open then for me, um, and we'll, you know, I think we'll at some point along our podcast, we'll talk about our first time being drunk. Um, but so it's it's um, it's just wonderful now to be in this place where I'm not telling anybody not to drink. Oh god. Drink if you want. Of course. I am telling you my story, right? And you're telling your story, and we're talking about the challenges and then all of the wonderful things that have happened physically to us. You know, the plan for us, this is our pilot test, right? See if people, this is resonating with people. Um, and then September coming up, and then we're into holiday season. Right. So our plan is to do a little mini um mini season gearing up to the holidays because it's such a huge trigger time for people emotionally, around parties, what do you do? And all of the, you know, somebody said this to me the other day, and it really something that I have thought about a lot, which is the freedom that I have given myself to stop thinking about booze whether or not I'm drinking. Right. And when you're coming into the holidays and you look at your schedule of office parties, um, family gatherings, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, whatever it is you're celebrating, everybody is thinking about alcohol.

SPEAKER_01 37:04

But that's funny because thinking of which, now that I don't drink, I can go to more parties. Because it used to be like even though I drank every day, I was an everyday drinker, that never you know bothered me. But there's so many hangovers you can accumulate before you're like, shit, man, I can't stay home. I would stay home and drink, but if you don't drink as much, and maybe not an empty stomach, you know, whatever. Whereas now it's not a thought, right? Like, or how many things that people like someone would be like, Oh, do you want to, I don't know, play pickleball at six? I'd be like, six? Are they are they out of their fucking minds? Six o'clock. I'm not gonna be waste at six o'clock. Like, I can do anything past four. And now I can do all this stuff, right? And one of the things I think we're also looking to in the podcast is some of the tools. Yes. If you're a boozer like I was and you enjoy wine, I have discovered a world of non-alcoholic wines. Like real wines that were dealized, that are delicious, that are made by winemakers, actually. Um, so we'll discuss some of those after dinner drinks and all of that.

SPEAKER_03 38:13

All of the amazing mocktails that you and I have concocted. Yeah. Um, I also want to throughout the podcast talk about the books right there because I discovered the whole uh genre of quit lit. Yes, quit literature, literature based on quitting an addiction. Yeah. Mostly they're um around alcohol. For me, mostly I would say 80% of the books I read were written by women. That's true. A lot of them were written by. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure there's plenty of books written by men about it. I just gravitated towards the ones about women, also because I think women have a very specific relationship with alcohol, thanks to alcohol's introduction to the world and to society, same as cigarettes, right? How the you know big marketing campaigns were geared towards women, making them feel free, making them feel sexy, making them feel all of these things. If you drink this, if you smoke this. Right. Those, those, I mean, it is clear as we look back now, those were targeted at women. And and so for us, and it's the um it's the learning for me, other people's journeys, as well as great books like Outlive, the Peter Atia book, right? Which which like Annie Grayson's book. Oh, you I did you did, right? I mean, it's so amazing. But that's all about the science. It's like, holy moly, I the things that we didn't know combined with the things we were lied about to about so, so many things. So I I think for you and I, this journey is about all of those different aspects. One of the local wine distributors the other day said to me, He's like, Let me just tell you, in a few years from now, we're getting so close. He's like, it will be hard to tell. Like they it just keeps getting better and better. Correct. And all the different ones, everyone that you have recommended to me, I have absolutely loved.

SPEAKER_01 40:12

Well, to the point that for some people, actually, that not for me, but for some people, it's a trigger. Yes. Not for me, because I love the Rydell glass. I'm a there's a I like the ritual, right? I gave up Catholicism, so I had to pick up other rituals, right? So, like the nice glass and the nice pour, and the the you know, the incense is burning and the fireplace is roaring. Like, I need that special. Otherwise, like that's you know, you and I just came back from France recently, like separately, uh on separate trips. And I sat at a cafe with my husband, Brooks, who still drinks, but he's much more reasonable of a drinker than I am. And I remember sitting there and thinking, I need I need something to feel like a badass, right? I didn't have non-alcoholic wine, I can't smoke cigarettes. And I was like, Brooks, do you have a cigar? Because he smokes cigars like once in a while. He happened to have one. I had two puffs, I was like, I'm gonna vomit. Yeah, that's it. So I gave it back. But I remember like I was like, I need I just needed something to make me like, okay, you're on vacation, you're different than your home. You know, and like booze would have been that, but the non-alcoholic booze, you know, that ritual, the ritual is a lot.

SPEAKER_03 41:18

No, and and I actually think that for me was was well how I discovered it became easy. What I realized was I could easily live without any kind of drunk high or drunk buzz because I can get that on life and a really good night's sleep and performing and all of the ways that I get excited and high on life. I didn't, I knew that it wasn't that that I needed, but I figured it out. It was the ritual, it was the lovely sharing in a social moment that and I'm and I love a nice glass and all my water for crystal. I was like, I love to do that.

SPEAKER_01 42:02

And have that like when you go and they're like offering you fizzy water, yes, I'm like, I am not a child, I don't want juice and I don't want fizzy water. Give me like either a mockdown and I want an umbrella and I want all the fruit and it like don't give me the other day. I went to this bar and I'm like, oh, I love a mockdown. Like, make whatever you have. Yes, and it was a local place, I won't say where because I like the person. Okay. It's somewhere I don't go often, though. Okay. But the person is very nice, but this was a letdown. They have all these cocktails, so all you have to do is put it together, don't put the boost. Not hard. And they have all these cool glasses, they have all the fruits. Like, I want the fruits, I want the whole bouquet. Yeah, I got a straight glass like this with club soda and like a shot of like lime juice. And I was like, No, that's not what I was looking for. Yeah, that's not a mock down. And it did give that six-year-old, you know what I mean? Yeah, the ritual is very important. And that's how you and you rewire your brain this way. And the one thing, like, I had quit cigarettes, so I knew what it felt like to quit something. And you know, some people like will tell you, oh, you'll never, never forget about cigarettes, or oh, you'll never never forget about alcohol. It is bullshit. Yes, I smoke two packs a day, I never think about it anymore. Same with alcohol. The more distance you take from something, the more your brain relearns to enjoy things without the substance. Yeah, and it eventually just doesn't go there anymore. You just you don't want it. Right. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 43:32

Yeah. And for me, like I think it is important to recognize, and I do, you know, I know people who really just battled with alcoholism. Right. And and that something like this too close is too close. And it's like, no, no, no, that could set off. And for me, so and I'm also one of those people that have, in however long it's been now, 11 months, I have over the Course of that time, absolutely tasted alcohol. Like you? Oh, yes. I won't. See, I have because a couple of times Andrew ordered a really nice glass of wine and I said, Oh, I remember that one. Let me taste it. Here was another massive turning point for me. It tastes like vinegar. It tasted disgusting. And I was like, oh gosh. And I had read about that too. Some people, if your palate is reset that way, that now, and it was the biggest shock to me.

SPEAKER_01 44:28

You should just smell it. I'll smell it. Yeah. And the smell is good, but I would be still good. I think I was more addicted to alcohol than you were, in the sense that you were able to like not drink for 40 days. Like I remember doing once one month, once. And I was like, all right, so I did one month. So now I'm not gonna drink until Thursday. And that lasted one week.

SPEAKER_03 44:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:50

And then creep right back up to a bottle and a half a day. Right. So I would be for me, if I took one sip, I would be afraid that that alcohol that would just trigger something.

SPEAKER_03 44:59

I mean, and it could, and I'm not gonna encourage you to do it. Oh, good, though. No, but I also think that you can do it. I also just think that it's your palate. I think you would not like the taste anymore. Um, like I I mean, and every time Andrew, I brought Andrew for Christmas um the caravan, right? You know, the wine system where you can extract one bottle of one glass of wine out of the bottle and you don't compromise the rest of the bottle, it goes back in the cellar. Uh he took a glass a couple of times of a wine that I have loved for decades. What was it? Um, it's multiple times this has happened when he first opened a bottle of sea.

SPEAKER_01 45:36

Which what is it called?

SPEAKER_03 45:38

Sea smoke. I don't know it. Oh my gosh. Uh that's gotta be American. It is American. I was an old world wine. Oh, well, so was I. I mean, uh the same. Right. The other day we had um, actually, segue back to our friends the Myosex. Um, Ryan and Kate, they were here for dinner, and we opened a gift that Andrew and I had been given of an 83, 82 Petruse. Oh, Jesus. Ha ha. Did you smell it? Did you taste it? Both. Shit. I did not like the taste, Isabel. I didn't like the.

SPEAKER_01 46:11

Good for you, but then don't say it's a little bit of a little bit of a little bit more.

SPEAKER_03 46:12

So it actually just made it easier for me. It was like, I don't like the taste of this anymore. Then don't taste it anymore because I'd be concerned that it would re-work. I think I would have to drink a lot of it to like it. It would rework itself. And also it's not, I don't even have that fear. You don't want to reopen those pathways, is what I mean. The neural pathways, but uh honestly, I have easily just said You're done.

SPEAKER_01 46:35

But don't taste it anymore then. If it tastes like piss, it tastes like piss. Yeah, yes.

SPEAKER_03 46:38

I suppose you're right. You're like, why do you think trying then?

SPEAKER_01 46:40

Oh, it's my god, like next thing I know she's gonna show up drunk as a skunk. We're like, wait, what?

SPEAKER_03 46:47

No, I have absolutely no fear of it. Like, I've no feeling. It's not that I don't have any fear, I have no desire. My desire just evaporates. Right. And if you told me this one year ago, I would have never believed that I used to say to my husband all the time on days where I had a miserable hangover, I would say, I mean, how many of us have said that's it? I am never drinking again. And you would drink that day. And then you would drink that day to like make it a little bit better. And then you felt better. So I drank that. One thing I would say, as I got older, I was like, oh, I could easily give up everything except red wine. Correct. That was my one caveat. I was like, I can't live. I really, until a year ago, I would have believed that life was not really worth living without good red wine.

SPEAKER_01 47:33

That's a good point, because that's another thing you're making me think that like before I quit drinking, like I remember I'd be, let's say you're traveling. My husband and I like to go to weird places, right? And one of the weird places, well, it's not that weird, but this one was like northern, northern Norway, as in like North Pole. We're doing a road trip, and it's like nothing. There's nothing. And they'd be like these cute little houses. We're on the Lofoten Islands at some point, and these cute little houses on rocks in the middle of the ocean alone. And I remember thinking, oh, I could do that as long as I would have like four or five cases of wine. Like I could go without mayonnaise, is my other thing. I love mayonnaise. And I was like, I could, I could live, I would think of what I would need. Okay, I wouldn't need brooks. I don't need electricity, but I need like, so we're gonna say, what, a month? All right, like eight, eight cases of wine. Like, and then that's it. I don't need food, but I need wine. And I remember thinking, fuck, that's scary. That's scary that I'd be like, I can't live in a place where there's no wine access. But uh, you know, if they don't have food or water, I'm good with that. Right. But they need to have wine access. There's something warped about that.

SPEAKER_03 48:41

But not really, because we had ourselves to believe that. Correct, that's true. I told myself there is no way I want to live in a world that doesn't have a great burgundy.

SPEAKER_01 48:51

Plus, Jesus turned water into wine. Like they started at the Bible level to tell us how good the stuff was. Marketing genius.

SPEAKER_03 48:59

Yes, and it's hard to believe, isn't it? For me, it's still hard to believe.

SPEAKER_01 49:02

Next thing you're gonna find out Hennessy was behind the Bible. Oh, Jesus turned the wine, the water into brandy. Yeah, into brandy and to wine and to, you know, when you think about that. So it's like you're right, like we were hardwired. It's the only drug, it really is a drug, that I can think of that the whole culture, the histories, the stories you read hardwire you from since you're little to drink. And as a matter of fact, the few people I know that never drank because they don't like it, yeah, are almost apologetic about it. Like they did something wrong. Yes. One of them is my niece. She's this gorgeous, Adonis looking, five feet ten, blonde. She looks like she was carved out of a freaking like Barbie model. I mean, she's hot and she's a medical student. She's hot and smart, never cared for alcohol. And she still says it in the way that's like an apology. Yes. Like I'm society. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:59

But here's the thing, and I don't even know how long we've been talking, but I think, I think we're we're good. We're good. But I think the timing of this, of you and I talking about this, is so perfect. Because you see that that idea of apologizing for not drinking, of hiding the fact that you're not drinking, is so ridiculous. And now we're all waking up to the fact that it is bullshit. And that and the more we talk about it, it's like anything. The more we normalize the non-alcoholic life, the more we normalize the conversation this way, the more people are going to feel okay about it. Like, honestly, probably half a dozen of my close friends who would never had these conversations with me before have been like, oh gosh, it's really made me think. And I'm scared. I'm scared to stop drinking, but I wanna. There's a big part of me that wants to not drink anymore, but I don't know how to do it.

SPEAKER_01 50:52

And I can't wait for us to share our funny stories on the subject. Because when I'm driving and I'm listening to those podcasts, oftentimes I want to feel I want something funny, uplifting, like make you feel part of the gang, you know, like a lot of the other podcasts are super helpful, but for me it's sometimes a little bit too serious, or you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 51:12

No, and what we're talking about is I I think the reason that you and I connected, and the reason I think this is a great platform for us, is that we're proof that um not drinking doesn't mean not fun. Correct. Like it's absolutely quite the opposite. Yes, and for me, I keep getting this, these waves still every day. Yes, of euphoria.

SPEAKER_01 51:36

And it's so funny, you're still living the ping clown? Yes, I still do sometimes too. I am so still here.

SPEAKER_03 51:42

And I'm talking about I'm coming up to a year as well. Yes, it has not gone away from me.

SPEAKER_01 51:46

So me neither. I it but it comes in a wave, it's not every day, but it'll come in a wave and you're just like, I'm so happy. And you're like, what is this? Yes, holy shit. And you know, I'm more like humor noir type girl, and I'm like, all this pink cloud shit coming up me like every couple of days. I'm like, what is this? Am I gonna start like breathing out bubbles? Yeah, what's going on?

SPEAKER_03 52:08

If I see you waltzing in here in a tutu, then you're like in a plane, we need something floral tutu. That's fine. So I just want to, you know, before we wrap up, like I think we've covered all of the things we're gonna talk about. Yes, right? We're gonna talk, well, first of all, we're gonna do um a mini season, a mini launch for the holidays. Because I think talking about this when everyone is getting a little bit anxious about the stress of the holiday season and what that makes them feel like, and you know, and also for you to like to look back. I mean, I have some hilarious holiday story experiences. Um and and like I said, the the different uh options, tools, ways to embrace the change if you want to, and how to leave the party.

SPEAKER_01 52:55

Oh yeah, how to leave the party without being feeling like you're the party pooper, like you need to leave the party.

SPEAKER_03 53:03

I mean, I also feel like you get to a certain age in your life where you, you know, as a people pleaser my whole life, um, being able to just say, I need to go home, I don't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_01 53:15

Yeah, that's the thing.

SPEAKER_03 53:16

If you think I'm a party pooper anymore, and if you think I don't, I'm not fun, then you don't know me.

SPEAKER_01 53:22

Right.

SPEAKER_03 53:22

Right? You just don't get it. It's or right, you know, and the fact that I don't want to sit up at a bar to two or three o'clock in the morning has got nothing to do with alcohol anymore. It's just like I am in a phase in my life where what I prioritize most is my health, the people that I love, my my um early mornings to me that are just clear-headed. I'm so productive and I'm so like, I don't know. I find myself these days spontaneously just driving along and going, wow, I'm so happy.

SPEAKER_01 53:57

Yes, that is so true. I've had those two that are so weird, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:00

But it's so good. And imagine, imagine even imparting that feeling of joy and happiness to one other person. Correct.

SPEAKER_04 54:10

Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 54:10

It's like that's what we're gonna do. Right. So, um, Maxine and Isabel. Well, so nice chatting with you today. We're here, we're going to launch a holiday season, a holiday mini season, and then we're gonna launch proper at the perfect time, I think, right, in January, when everyone's doing dry January. That's the perfect time to give your body. I mean, dry January is not enough, and there's plenty of science around that too. Correct. 30 days is not enough. It's just a bit of a science now says you need 90 to 100 days to actually give your body the chance to reset. Correct. But maybe if we start really spreading the word in January that it's dry January, February, March.

SPEAKER_01 54:52

Or I can if we can make dry January funny enough, you want to keep it into February and hope so.

SPEAKER_03 54:59

Exactly. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 55:01

It was great. This is great talking to you. I polished a whole bottle bottle.

SPEAKER_03 55:07

She polished up a whole bunch.

SPEAKER_01 55:09

I love that stuff.

SPEAKER_03 55:10

Okay, so we've got to tell what is that one? Well, am I getting paid for this shit?

SPEAKER_01 55:14

I'm gonna give them a plant for free.

SPEAKER_03 55:16

Cool your jets. Just tell us what it is.

SPEAKER_01 55:18

All right, so I will say prima pave, it's made in Italy. They're blonde blanc, which means it's a still white one. Yeah, it's mainly Chardonnay, I believe, is amazing. And very low sugar, by the way.

SPEAKER_02 55:32

See, and that's the other idea.

SPEAKER_01 55:34

I always look at so many of these. Because I'm not a sugar person and I don't want to have another problem now. And they also make fantastic champagne, it's not champagne because it's but uh sparkling amazing to the point where my drinking friends can't tell the difference. So, Prima Pave is really good. Prima Pave. Send me at least a t-shirt, Prima Pave, just plug you.

SPEAKER_03 55:58

Amazing. Okay, all right, thank you for listening, watching, and see you next time.

SPEAKER_01 56:04

Thanks for listening to Happy AF. We hope you laughed, learned, and maybe thought twice about what's in your glass. Subscribe, share, and find out more at happyafpodcast.com. And until next time, don't forget, stay zero proof and always happy as fuck.