The Uncomfortable Questions. Answered. Ep 14

In this episode, Maxine and Isabelle respond to your questions—the real ones. The complicated ones. The ones that don’t have neat, tidy answers.

From loving someone whose drinking worries you… to being the only one not drinking in the room. What to say when the pressure’s on, why people suddenly tell you everything about their own drinking, and how to stay steady in those early, shaky days.

They also talk sugar, substitutes, and their colleague’s kid who calls them “the women who don’t know how to drink”, au contraire kiddo!

Real questions. Real (often hilarious) answers.

Please remember to subscribe to the podcast and to visit our website at:
www.happyafpodcast.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hi everybody, I am Maxine and I am happy alcohol free.

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Hi, I'm Isabel. I can't say I just got back from Canada, so now I'm saying my name with an H. That's and I'm tired. I am Isabelle. It's the first time I called myself Isabel. Isabel and I'm happy as fuck. And a little tired because it is Sunday. Listen, you know what I love though? What?

SPEAKER_02 0:25

We don't have bloopers. Because we we just what what we do here is what the listeners get. No, but I mean bloopers meaning mistakes. Right, right. Because like so many, so many podcast episodes they stop and they start again. And because it's scripted. Right. And actually, one one of the things that I've noticed when we're listening to ours for editing purposes, I'm like, I mean, other people would say, you know what, cut that. Cut that. But we we're just we're we're au naturel.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

Well, taping with me, if you had to cut little pieces, we would be here for like four or five hours in a row. And by the way, you were saying, like, you know, last week, Priscilla, your buddy Priscilla in Minnesota. Yes. Remember that text? So Priscilla My colleague. I mean, she's my buddy, but she's my colleague. And she edits, right, our tape. And she sent us this really funny text because she has a set of twins, and I think they're like seven or something. They're young. And I guess in the background, they keep hearing our tape as she's cutting, rewinding. She does our social media, yes. And so one of her kids asked her like to do something, and she's like, wait, wait, wait, let me finish this. And he goes, Oh, is it those ladies that can't drink in a cup? Because they went, we have a drinking problem. So they and like the other one said, like, maybe she should drink in a straw. So they think her drinking problem is like something to do, like, we're drinking from how to drink. How to drink. We don't know how to drink. I thought it was really funny.

SPEAKER_02 1:53

That was so good. Is it those ladies that don't know how to drink? But so here's the problem.

SPEAKER_01 1:59

We did know we knew how to drink with the straw, with the cup, without the bottle. From the bottle's hot.

SPEAKER_02 2:08

We knew how to drink too well. We're working on how to drink other things. Other things. Diversify. We're diversifying. So so that is hilarious. Wow, that brought a little tear to my eye because that's really funny. When yeah, that's anyways. That was funny. So today we're gonna do these a couple of times a year, which I love, because it's an opportunity for us to answer questions that our listeners are sending us. Which, by the way, we have listeners, which is kind of amazing. It's the other thing I feel like people perhaps don't understand. I was interviewed on a podcast recently about my music, and they were like, and then someone told me you have a podcast about being alcohol free. And I was like, Oh, I do. And then the other woman was like, I listen to it. It's amazing. Oh my god. And then she was like, also, by the way, it's super professional. Like, how big is your team? Well, there's personal or two to the club. Well, there's um uh there's me and Isabel, and then there's my husband, and um hysterical. It's hysterical because uh makes me proud though that people think it's very professional. Um, so we do have listeners, which is kind of amazing and and it's resonating, and that's why we keep doing it. We're gonna start. Oh my goodness, forgot. We can do that dry.

SPEAKER_01 3:21

Yeah, I need to be lubed. Let's end.

SPEAKER_02 3:24

Here she goes, here she goes. Well, it is Sunday. So this is called Blind Tiger.

unknown 3:30

I love it.

SPEAKER_02 3:30

It is a really cute can. So, do you know what I love? I love a single serve situation. Oh, yeah. Otherwise, you're stuck with cans of it. It's well, also, it's just great to have in the fridge. Yeah, it is. So blind tiger, and because it's a Sunday that we're filming on, obviously, this will not be released on a Sunday, but um, we're having a mimosa, blind tiger, uh sidecar mimosa. Those are pretty good. Sparkling blend of orange and lemon with hints of it's got a brandy extract extract.

SPEAKER_01 4:01

It does. It says brandy extract, but it says I had to triple check, it says 0% alcohol, but it's with and monk fruit. Is that thing gonna make me high? The monk fruit? Is it not like that makes me high anymore? Like that damn herb mushroom ashwanga makes me high. Ashwell, ashwa something.

SPEAKER_02 4:20

Yeah. Um I thought monk fruit had a bad reputation for something. I think some people it upsets their tummies. Uh like I feel like it's a digestive thing. Anyway, this is blind tiger um mimbosa. Ooh, it smells smells good. Doesn't smell like brandy though. No, I don't like brandy, so I hope. Don't like brandy either. Oh, this doesn't this smells delicious. Okay, let's taste it.

SPEAKER_01 4:43

Oh. Oh, I like that. It tastes better than it smells. Wow, it's got like a different taste in the back. Like cinnamon? Do I taste cinnamon? There's a little spicy something, or maybe that's a brandy extract.

SPEAKER_02 4:55

Maybe showing this little can to everyone because we realize we're really not good at showing things. Um, I can show certain things, just the can I forget to show. I knew you were gonna go there too. It's like blind tiger for anyone who's listening and not watching, spirit-free cocktails, single serving, 0% alcohol. I love it. That's delicious. Um okay.

SPEAKER_01 5:19

And this could be good also with some NA booze in it, like to give it a little mouth.

SPEAKER_02 5:24

Yeah, to give it a little extra. I've been tasting a bunch of those. And then I just also have to see because you always come here with a gift, which I just can't. You can't show up empty-handed. Someone's house. I know, I know, but this is work. Like, but anyway, this is thank you. Saucisant de boch. Mm-hmm. The boch.

SPEAKER_01 5:43

The boch, the boch. You don't say that. Of course.

SPEAKER_02 5:46

Don't I knew that?

SPEAKER_01 5:47

Oh, you do, okay.

SPEAKER_02 5:48

No, that's terrible that I said that, though. I have not been like, calling it like Majitos. It's it's it's but listen, you just called yourself Isabel. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:56

So I need you to take a deep breath and give me a I'm not too, I'm not to correct anybody.

SPEAKER_02 6:02

You just put an H in your name. And the reason, so this is from the border depart. I have not been practicing my French and my my schedule has been packed. I've been traveling a lot, and it's it, so I need to get back to it.

SPEAKER_01 6:13

Right now that my my travel season is slowing down a little bit for the summer, and I will get back to my um get back to my and then we discovered something else who had in common when I presented you with this denison of the pork family. Um, the reason I like it is from you know where I where we have a little lake house in Quebec, but the reason we like it is because I don't digest raw garlic that great. Yes, and I don't like raw garlic. I don't like the garlic. So you don't, you know, like when you eat saucisse, you love it, and you're like, oh man, I'm gonna burb this thing for the next three hours. Not with this. No.

SPEAKER_02 6:50

Well, thank you. I'm gonna just slice that up and have that later. Thank you. I appreciate it. All right, here we go. So these are questions from our listeners, and they come from different places. Some of them are people who I know personally who are like, hey, could you ever talk about and then others come on social media through our Instagram or our YouTube shorts, okay? Um, our Facebook. Like people we actually don't know are writing to us. Yes, I tell you this all the time. I feel like you're not listening to me. Do you know I do know?

SPEAKER_01 7:23

Wow, wow. But wow, that's great. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 7:29

Well, maybe like maybe I'm just in disbelief. No, no. Uh it's we social media is where we're capturing our listeners from right. So people are listening to the clips that Priscilla does, and then they're going, oh, I'd like to listen to the whole thing. And then they go over to either Apple or Spotify or what whatever podcast platform you listen to, and then you listen to the whole thing, or you go on YouTube and you watch it. So there's many different ways to do it. So we are getting listeners from all of these different places. I love it. I mean, listen, we're getting listeners to the point that alcohol-free companies are sending us free shit because they want us to taste them and talk about them. Oh, but I feel like, you know, we got to do that as long as we like it. Because I don't want to be talking about the shit we don't like. Well, I can, but I'll say I don't like it. No. No, no, no. Right? And then they're not gonna send us any more shit. Yeah. So these are from people who listen to our podcast and want us to ask, answer some questions. Um, okay, here's the first one. How do you help? Oh, this is a good one. How do you help or suggest to someone you love that they should drink less when you don't when they don't think they have a problem, but you can clearly see that alcohol is having a negative impact on their life. That's a really tricky one.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

That's really tricky. I feel as though the only way and it's trickier if you've stopped drinking. I feel as though the only way you can broach that is if you were uh involved and you sit in a situation where they did something that was like without as an example to bring to bring the conversation. Without question, like without question, like because they drank too much, they did something they wouldn't have done. Yes, yes. Oh, that's the thing. I think that's the only way you could broach it. Otherwise, it's kind of like, who are you telling me? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 9:18

Yeah, yeah. And and that's and that's the thing that I find interesting as someone who I have, as you know, a a very close family member who's an addict and has been in and out of rehab. What I learned over the years for 25 years on this roller coaster with him and trying to support him and putting him into rehab and supporting him in every way that I thought I could do, he he didn't accept that he had a problem for so many years. Which, by the way, I think all of us can can say that to a degree. Like I I lived in denial for a long time about about my relationship. Obviously, I wasn't an addict like that, but but I I was in denial about the negative impact that alcohol, and I think that's what this question is.

SPEAKER_01 10:10

But that's what I was gonna say. Like that I think the the people that have a real bad addiction, I think that's pretty straightforward.

SPEAKER_02 10:18

I think it's tricky when you're in the grace.

SPEAKER_01 10:21

Like, for instance, it it wasn't tricky for someone to tell me because I always claimed that I was I drank too much and I was not alcoholic because I knew I was addicted to it. But for instance, like um like Brooks once, my husband had gastritis, you know, yeah, and he quit drinking when I first quit, right? But I I quit forever, but he quit drinking, he like took that that uh occasion to take a three-month break because that's what the doctor had recommended. But he had that been going on for a whole year, right? So at that point, I could I couldn't be like you drink too much in general. Like I was like, you've been drinking too much, now you have a gastritis. Like you it shows like you know, that even though we think we're okay, we're not, it's doing stuff, right? But it's still tricky if someone is a great drinker and if you've quit yourself, because then they think they want like the pious, and you're like the cult, like you want to drink them to your cult, you know. So what you know what I've done is um unless like you're unless a person brings it up to you, or usually at that point people will try to moderate, and then I applaud that effort. Yes, right? I applaud that effort.

SPEAKER_02 11:31

Yes, you know, like that's good. You know, I mean, this is I I I I I'd love to know more about this question. I like I would love to know like what's the relationship of the person that you're talking about? Is your husband? Is it your sister? Is it just your friends? Right because I think they're all different. Uh for me, you know, I've never had this conversation with anyone, but I think what we're doing through our choice is a lot is leading inspirational. Correct. So I have had a number of friends, close friends, who quit drinking after I quit drinking.

SPEAKER_01 12:10

Because we drank so much, we were like a poster child of drinking a lot but keeping it together.

SPEAKER_02 12:15

Yes, and then being able to see someone turn off the booze and and and still be joyful and happy and still have fun and also feel so much better. So I think the the you know, leading by example, and it's about I think about this with parenting a lot as well, because people say to me, Oh gosh, your children, they're they're amazing, they're so kind, and they're I was like, they they emulate what they see, right? Right. So if if if I'm yelling at Andrew and swearing and blinding and doing all that, that's what they're gonna see in their minds.

SPEAKER_01 12:50

It's so funny you'd say that. I I think I sent you that post too. I saw this such an interesting post about that this week on Instagram. Some philosopher guy, I don't know why it was on my feed, but he was basically saying how we act to strangers, that we're kind to stranger and stuff like that. Yes, that is actually it's nice, but that's just image management. It's how you actually act with people that are inside your mind. When no one's watching. When no one's watching it. The most important is so true. Like how you treat your spouse, how you treat your kids, like do you demean them, do you yell at them? Like that's where like the real kindness comes in. Yes. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 13:27

Yes, and that's and I think that's the same. And here's another piece that I think is important because obviously the person that asked this question is someone who's listening to our podcast, which means they're either curious about not drinking or they're not drinking. Right. Everybody who's choosing to not drink should talk about it. And I understand that that's hard for some people. Look at us. You know, we've had plenty of people saying, shut up about not drinking. But the more people who make the choice to not drink and then talk about not drinking and not drink publicly versus hiding the not drinking, the more we're normalizing it as an option. Right. Again, I want to go back. I've had so many conversations recently that have frustrated me. And again, it's usually people who will approach me on social media so they don't know me very well, which is, you know, for goodness sake, it is it's not everybody has to be sober. I'm like, absolutely. I would not like the option. So no, but I would like the option, and don't tell me to shut up talking about it.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

And don't tell me that when, like, for instance, when I go out to dinner, and by the way, I have a story on that, but I don't know if we have time for that. Like, I want the I always have time for that. I want the option to like not have a Coca-Cola if I don't drink booze, right? Like, and it's like so this is so frustrating. In my the my birthland in Quebec, they are so backwards about the non-alcoholic like you get in. So they're telling me, like, everywhere I've been except for one place. No, two places. Two places are like, okay, we'll charge you the quirking fee, and it was reasonable. Great. The other places, like, no, we're not allowed to have anything from the outside. Listen, man, this is non-alcoholic. I'll pay. No, you can't have anything from the outside. So my mother, fear. It's fear. My mother, who is like, she's so funny. So I'm in Gen X. So my parents were not helicopter parents. First time I babysat my brother and my sister for a whole weekend. I was 12. But that's like if my parents were not. Did I tell my children that no, but it's Gen X in North America, right? Like we, all my friends' parents were always missing. Like, I don't know where they were, nobody. We were left around the card. So that was just normal. So they were my parents were like Gen X is the best.

SPEAKER_02 15:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

So my parents were certainly not super involved. Like they made sure we're fed and not putting the house on fire, and our grades were good, and that's about it. And then I love them for it. But so I'll let's say so. Again, we go out for pizza and we went really early because it was a hockey game, and my mom wanted to watch it to my nephew. So it's like 5:15 in a pizza area up there. And um, the owner was there. There was nobody there yet because we're so early. It's just the four of us with my husband. So I'm like, can I, you know, I brought non-alcoholic wine? You don't have any non-alcoholic one on the menu. Could I pay the quirking fee? No. I'm like, all right, you did hear that there's no alcohol in it, right? Like zero. I showed a bottle, like zero, like none. Yeah, no, we're not allowed to have anything from the outside. I'm like, not even water. So anyway, so my I'm like, you know what? Like by the way, my question is, I'm sorry, who's not allowing you?

SPEAKER_02 16:27

Is there non-alcoholics? Is it a police guy that's gonna be a big thing?

SPEAKER_01 16:30

They're saying the government? I'm like, bullshit. When's the last time they give a fuck? They give a fuck about booze. So my but I didn't want to make a stand. I'm like, uh, I roll my, I'm like, you know, play. I'm like, that's fine. I get it. I he's trying to justify. I'm like, no, no, I I we're good. That's fine. That's fine. So my mother could not let it go. Again, I love your mom. Excuse me. She's like, are you certain there's nobody here? That's a little bit ridiculous. And I'm like, mom, please. She's like, no, but I like really, we're paying customers. There's no alcohol in that. I don't understand. You don't even have non-alcoholic wine on your menu. Like, how can you impose these rules? And she's like going on, and she's like a pit bull. She's like, uh, won't let it go. And I'm like, and she's like, as she's drinking her sans serre, with Brooks, like, like, getting and like after that, when we left, she's like, next time I say, don't ask permission, just sneak it. And I was like, oh my God. Like, that's who like, but so my mother is so like crazy. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 17:25

It's a thing. And and again, I keep talking about we have to talk about it. We have to talk about it when you go to a restaurant. I mean, you did in that scenario, but the restaurateurs, the hospitality industry is very, very slow to embrace it. And the people that have embraced it have done so very well, right? That are giving you options because I find they're the smart business owners because they're not going to lose my business. Right.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

So now my mom's like, I don't want to go there anymore. Exactly. And by the way, how stupid was this guy? In in so I ended up having sparkling water, but in retaliation, my mother was really mad at sparkling. She was like, he wouldn't even take a uh quirkney fee. She's like, You should have tap water. He should not make any money from you. And he's like, I don't like tap water, I want sparkling. She's like, Don't have it. I've tap, have tap. She was like, Oh, show him. I can make zero money on beverages. But if she's right, like, imagine like if he had charged 15 bucks, I'd been like gladly paid it. Whereas, like, and you would go back there. Right. Whereas like now I I did have sparkling, but I could have chosen to just have water, right? In which case he's shit out of luck.

SPEAKER_02 18:35

But I think more importantly, they're not understanding the long game of now you're not coming back. Now I'm not going back. That's right. So you've now just lost a customer because you wouldn't let her open your non-alcohol her non-alcoholic. Charge. And charge and plus like charge for it. Yeah. It's so dumb. So crazy. But so anyway, to go back to that question, I think one of the most important things that we can do is and for all of our listeners, um share this, share this stuff. Like share your experiences, share our experiences, share our podcast, please, so we can keep it. And I'll share my mom.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

Anyone has any issues, she loves, she loves it. She loves an issue. Ah, she likes taking this shit on. She thinks it's so unfair. She's funny.

SPEAKER_02 19:18

But that's right. It is unfair. So I think you're right. That's it. So good calls to action there. First of all, if you have somebody like this in your life, I think that's a great idea. If there's been a very specific incident that you can be like, you know, when this happened, I think it's tricky.

SPEAKER_01 19:35

I feel like there's tricky, but like you can like if something happened that was clearly caused because of too much booze, I think then you have you there's a good it's a good nucleus to be like, you know, I don't think XYZ would have happened had you not drink so much. So you're not saying the person drink too much all the time. They're like, I don't think this would have happened and you not drank so much because you're not like that. Yeah, yeah. And no one is not gonna, it's gonna sit with the person. Yes. They might not do anything right away about it, but your message would have been loud and clear.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

And then for me, I think that the being the living proof, the example of I my life is much better by it's so funny. Listening, listening to us right now. I realized I've been listening to all these podcasts when I'm doing research about what we could do better, you know, because we don't have a team and we don't have producers and we don't have all of this stuff. Priscilla and our twins. It's like we've got that. Um, and he's not quite sure what we're doing, but um is is I'm like, oh gosh, we when you're doing QA's like this, it's like also here's a quick reminder we are not therapists, we are not doctors, we are not even wellness gurus. We're like um, you know, we're entertainers. If we make you pee your pants a little bit, I feel like then we've done a good job, right?

SPEAKER_01 20:53

Or you might want to consult with your urologist. Maybe it's that time, that time. I've been dealing not with myself, but people in my life. Okay. I know.

SPEAKER_02 21:01

Okay, but if we're causing you to pee a little bit while you listen to the podcast, I think we've done a great job. Yes. And if there is a dash of inspiration based on our life example, then that's great. That's it. But most importantly, we're here to make you laugh. So um, all of these questions are just um uh our experience and not not medical advice. That's the the lawyer inside me won't go away. Well, of course, the barrister you mean. Okay, any hints? And this is a new question. Any hints to handling a situation oh gosh, when everyone around you is drinking and expects you to join in or you're feeling judged because you're not joining in. That's how you're handling it. Yeah. Yeah, so think back to your early days and being in a situation like that.

SPEAKER_01 21:45

It's not fun. It's not fun when you're like you're you're you're I remember like a new uh no, no, you're I knew remember Thanksgiving incident with a family member. I think I might have talked about it here. And you can remind us. Okay, so like it was Thanksgiving and everybody over. for like for like four days and we are the last day you know like now it was no it was a Thanksgiving weekend but like the meal it was like Saturday right and I'd hosted this whole time and I was sober like 34 days or something. So you know for someone that's like you know very early they've drank for 30 years every day. And so the last night we went all went out to an early dinner at the local inn and then um we were done with dinner and everybody went to the bar and I had company but now I was really tired and I have a little bit of social like anxiety where I'm like man and now it's been four days and I'm entertaining so I'm spent right and now they're having like digestif and scotch and I'm like you know what like they're getting and the jokes are getting a little stupid and I'm just tired and I can tell that I'm I don't even have like the strength to laugh to be nice. Yes. So I'm I've figured let me take myself home right so I tell my husband Brooks hey Brooks I'm gonna go home I'm really tired and he's like whoa stay and I was like Brooks I'm not gonna be nice you know I'm getting tired he's like okay so I turn around and I tell my family members and the husband understands and and the other family member did not and got really mad at me that we're getting all sauced but she got really mad at me and I left right but I felt in that moment I felt okay because I'm not drunk and now it's getting a little bit boring and I'm removing myself I'm getting in trouble you know right thankfully like but I remember because I wasn't drunk I knew I didn't said anything bad I I remember saying I'm gonna go home because I'm not gonna be very nice anymore blah blah I'm losing my patience I'm tired you know it was great seeing you guys but I need to like I remember being nice about it.

SPEAKER_02 23:42

Yes uh thankfully but I felt icky yeah I felt icky I took but thankfully so the the answer to that is I did the right thing by owning how you felt how I felt because Brooks came home like he finished his scotch they dropped him home and he walked in and he didn't say that like to defend me or anything the first thing out of his mouth was like the person was not very nice you were fine yeah I'm so sorry that happened and I was like okay so he's like no you weren't rude you were tired and he's like I'm tired I need to go home and you guys go ahead and enjoy your scotch right so but you know you there will be situations like that where you feel left out because you're not yeah yeah you know yeah I mean I feel like I've been in in the situation a number of times and it's funny I was just having this conversation with my daughter today about um prom and I said you know they're all 16 ish some of them are 17 and I said but was anybody trying to you know get some booze afterwards or da da da and I said well how's the whole like because there were a couple of people in her circle that were vaping and I said you know how's that all going and she said yeah people seem to have calmed down a little bit and she said I didn't see anybody back trying to get any alcohol but I think some people did right and I said what do you feel like in that situation she said one of my friends said to me do you feel left out if you're the only person not vaping and what'd she say and she was like no because I I just don't want to do it. Right so I don't feel left out about it. And so for me I reached this place where I am so confident in not wanting it. Oh now is fine right early sobriety can be a little but diff different that's but still now when other people are all drinking and then saying oh come on have one and they still say that I mean not people I know obviously right right but I'm I'm on the road all the time and I've you know I've met people in the last couple of months who've been like when I said no no thank you to a drink an hour later they're like oh well now you have one do you want to drink now do you and it's it does get a little it gets a bit annoying. I think you have to extract your yourself in a way and look down and go, here's me right choosing not to drink and it's got nothing to do with the other person.

SPEAKER_01 26:11

And plus to your point about that what I've noticed is the next day nobody remembers that you were turning down those drinks. Certainly not the people who drank seven more drinks. And I think oftentimes it's just they're looking for a drinking buddy is all it is. It's for them for themselves drinking. It's not so much for your company drinking.

SPEAKER_02 26:30

No I think it's also we've talked about this many times the mirror situation where they're like they don't want you to not be drinking because they don't want to have to question how much they're drinking. Right.

SPEAKER_01 26:44

I think it's tricky though to for that question when it's people that you were drinking with. Yes. So that happens you mean before drinking with previously yes right so in early sobriety I think we've all encountered this situation. And I think my advice to that question would be you just need to kind of stick to your gun and know that you're gonna feel uncomfortable. It is uncomfortable it's all new stuff but it goes away it evens out people get used to not you not drinking you get used to not drinking with people you are drinking with and it's all okay in the end. Yeah I mean so I still hang out with people I was drinking with and I don't even think about it anymore. It's not even a thing anymore. So it will go away it'll get normalized.

SPEAKER_02 27:21

Yes I think with people you know I mean not a single one of my friends would ever offer me a drink not anymore no no it's been 18 months like they they know I'm done we started a podcast right we're so committed right um but it is the situation where you go to to a party or you go somewhere where you haven't met people before and or you're meeting new people and it's that constant I I I talk about I always talk about my purpose in life and I that's what drives me as an entertainer, as an artist is the creation of art and music. And um but I didn't know that this whole piece of my life was going to become part of the purpose because I see that I have handled it differently but but I'm I'm also a person that's absolutely happy to get on a soapbox. Right. And not other people not everybody is and so people that are in a situation they're like I don't want to rock the boat or I don't want to like you said stick to your guns but there's nothing to be ashamed of in not drinking. And this and and and that's like this is what's driving me more and more to talk about it and and more and more to do these podcasts that are a lot of work for us. But it's because I feel there's such purpose in giving voice to or letting people hear that that it's okay for you to make this choice and I understand like it's that community that we're trying to create that I know what that felt like to be in that room where everyone was like oh my God why are you not drinking? What's wrong with you?

SPEAKER_01 28:56

And to just know that when you change a behavior it's there's always gonna be discomfort and it's all right. Yes it's all right it's just it is normal it's not comfortable for a little bit it's not that easy to change something especially change something that has been uh adopted by the majority of people as you know people offer you drinks all the time not because they're malicious often is because that's how we show care right like a welcoming and good hostess of blah blah blah. You know it's how we've been that's how we've been socialized.

SPEAKER_02 29:25

It's how we've been conditioned and oh my God I had this moment the other day where someone said oh well you know my take on it is is everything in moderation and I'm like if I could if I if I were allowed to remove that I would or if I could remove one stupid phrase from the English language it would be that like that thing that we say all the time everything in moderation. I'm like that's a bullshit moderation correct I'm like okay only have a little bit of fentanyl and you'll be fine. Yeah but you cannot apply everything in moderation to something that is toxic and poisonous and bad for you. Right?

SPEAKER_01 30:05

It's an addictive and plus like if like they are saying that two glasses of alcohol a week is moderation and if you can do that that's great. A lot of us cannot so even if you told me Isabel why don't you just moderate great do you have a pill I can because I can't I tried it I tried it I tried it and I tried it. So it doesn't work for me it's too addictive for my body so that's it. So when they say that like and I've had like that's annoying at early on my mom would be like why can't you just right yes and she stopped when I said why don't you just she has a wicked sweet tooth and when I said why don't you just have one one bite of that cake she's like I she understood and I was like end of it. She's like I'll never but she understood she's like she could never have a bite of cake without finishing the whole thing. As a matter of fact she cannot keep cake in our house right so I can keep booze in my house right but if I drink it fuck it. I have to so so you're right so not everything can be moderated and there's certain substances are really difficult.

SPEAKER_02 31:10

But also now that like there's enough evidence that has been presented to us that there's no benefit to having any amount of alcohol and by the way in the case of alcohol moderation is two glasses a week how many people my mother is the probably the only person I know that drinks that level right right and oh trust me the person that said this to me does not drink two glasses a week. That's right I'm like how many is that you've had today and it's but it's just it's one of those phrases that it's so flippant when people say it because you know like that person was judging me by going well well everything in moderation I'm like okay Julia Wright was right Julia Child was right because she said everything in moderation including moderation right so it's like that she was famous for saying that and then you can take that both ways right so the other thing I do in those situations is is and I said this to my daughter too I was like I love to think about in my inner head right is is I'm like I feel just a little bit superior because I've cut this is a little bit of a bragging because I've cut alcohol out of my life. I really do and I I feel like I I'm owning that I made a really really hard choice it was really hard to say no to something that has been a part of my existence for three decades. Right.

SPEAKER_01 32:32

And so I would never say that out loud to a person who's like well you just need to moderate I'm like you know what no you're right there's a bad and plus like with all the at first when I first quit I was afraid to be boring. Yes and when I'm sorry have you met you and and you know like you start seeing by the way oh my god this week so oh I have something about that what about you being boring no no about how like the influence of people that are super cool that quit drinking makes you feel like a badass. So the only man that I've ever had a poster of because I thought this like I was never a fanny a fan kind of girl ever. But the one guy that I just was gonna give my okay I'm on the edge of my seat. Except for him there was one poster of Duran Duran because it was black and white and I was in love with James Taylor but I didn't think he was cool. Okay. But but the guy that was cool the coolest David Bowie. Okay of David Bowie was my religion since I'm 13. And David there was a thing there's this thing on Instagram like sober life I don't know and you get these snippets of people that could drink it are super yes because the algorithms got our number now so and I knew that David Bowie had quit drugs. Yes but I did not know that he quit alcohol and he was like I'm a major alcoholic and he's like when I quit it was just better relationships better everything better this better that you know the only thing he couldn't quit and kill them was cigarettes.

SPEAKER_02 33:58

Oh my next question was is he alive?

SPEAKER_01 34:00

He's died and it's so funny he was such a damn it because I was putting together in my head this week my my my um dream list of guests when we get to having guests so I was gonna say oh let's try and get him on but he was such a big deal for me when he passed away my dad called me to say he was sorry like people were called like he was my my I'm terrible about this pop culture stuff.

SPEAKER_02 34:23

When did he pass away?

SPEAKER_01 34:24

He passed away like less than 10 years ago of can't uh can't liver cancer but he was like a fiend smoker like a three packet like I don't have any packs but like nonstop smoker. But my point is like he and he quit alcohol like this tape looked like it was like early 2000s and he quit a long time ago I think it was in the 80s actually 80s or 90s a long time ago uh don't quote me on that I just know it was a long time ago but I remember when I saw this I was like it it re-uh shines the the armor of sobriety right like you are part of a group that was a bunch of badass bad asses.

SPEAKER_02 34:59

I was performing yesterday um in New York City at a private event and it was for a a gentleman who's very big in the world of publicity and it was a family event that he asked me to perform at and he introduced me the way everyone introduces me with my performance background blah blah blah blah I've done this I've done that but then he said and it was so funny because the room was filled with Boston Irish people. Oh Jesus and he was joking with me before he was like you're probably the only person in here is not drinking. And and but so he gets up and as he's he said oh and one more thing um she's a badass.

SPEAKER_01 35:36

Oh that's so cool.

SPEAKER_02 35:37

That's a great compliment she's got a podcast called Happy AF and I'm not gonna tell you what it's about you can all Google it and look it up later. But like that was his introduction. Wow and it was about he he said you're a badass for not drinking. Right. He's like in the industry that we work in like he represents major music artists and executives and and he was like it's just it's it's it's badassery that you're working this this room you're working this industry and you're just like uh no no especially we we didn't go in a rehab that's $35,000 a week.

SPEAKER_01 36:13

Yes yes you know to get there although I would do one of those but I can't afford it.

SPEAKER_02 36:19

It's just for a spa.

SPEAKER_01 36:20

That's what I mean I would pretend to be hooked on anything to go on. 35 grand I feel like we'd get a lot of massages oh my God my dream.

SPEAKER_02 36:26

All right next question uh oh it's another good one again because this happens all the time what do you do when people start telling you their drinking stories the second they find out you don't drink do you know it's like that moment when you're like I don't drink and then the person kicks into some kind of weird gear about well I actually don't drink that much it's just on some days that da da da right that that's what that's about.

SPEAKER_01 36:52

Right, right. Right? I'm trying to think that hasn't happened to me that much has it happened to me has happened to me a lot. Really?

SPEAKER_02 36:58

It has not now because again I feel like people don't talk to me unless it's about could you please recommend a great non-alcoholic wine talking about it though. But in the beginning I got a lot of this and I still do get it again with people I don't know right who when I say I don't drink their response is yeah I don't drink that much either I've actually stopped drinking during the week or I don't and I'm like I who fucking asked you that's right it's like why are you telling me this? That's great. You can't I mean that's not really helpful to this question. I mean I for for me I just like again it's that's that's another mirror situation. Right. That is the person saying all of this why she doesn't drink or he doesn't drink that much anymore or giving you their rituals. Like I've had that where when I'll say no I don't drink and then the person would be like yeah I don't normally drink on a Wednesday as she's pouring a big glass of wine I'm like I mean you do you and you want to drink all the wine on Wednesday that is fine.

SPEAKER_01 37:57

I don't know why you feel the need to tell me that or like they would say in the South bless your heart. Bless your heart. Right is not the best answer to anything.

SPEAKER_02 38:05

Oh gosh I love I have a South story that I gotta tell you. Did we answer that question? Do you think we answered that question?

SPEAKER_01 38:12

I think you answered that with bless your heart if they come in with their drinking story. The answer to that is bless your heart blessing heart. Yeah yeah what's your South story for you that's great for you.

SPEAKER_02 38:22

My South Would you like to have a medal little trophy round of applause well done um so my my story down south uh and I'm first of all I have to admit to my Irishness or my non-Americanness in that I didn't grow up in this country right didn't really study the geography of it. Right. And so I still am constantly saying places are in places that they're not like I mean for a long time I thought Priscilla we've talked about Priscilla a lot in this episode we gotta have her on right now right um but I she lives in Minneapolis and I kept saying she lived somewhere else with an M. But anyway I'm constantly not knowing where places are the same issue. But I guess Savannah is in Georgia. Yes it is but it's really damn close with South Carolina I was in both states because I was down there and I was performing in s in in South Carolina. Right and uh so Savannah is in Georgia but I just don't know what's considered the South but oh got it Georgia is it is definitely the south it is definitely the south yes and I had never been to Savannah before it's absolutely gorgeous so so beautiful there's a lot of the America South whatever that culture history that that gives gives me pause. Right like it I mean it really I I went to a couple of museums and you know the black history in that part of America is is so tragic it's so tragic. It's so sad it makes me it makes me sad about humanity that we are capable and you know same as anything. You do any of the terrible things that humans have done and you look at it up close you're like oh gosh um but anyway was at a dinner at a very very fancy house and it was incredible the hostess was one of the most gracious hostesses I've ever been um oh wow the privilege of of being a guest of anyway she would put this this team together she was like everybody wants to meet you and everybody wants to you know talk to you about my music not about of course yeah not about the music you are down there for that yes um but but um then what I realized is during this dinner it was the first time in a long time I there was eight of us I think um where I watched the demise oh no like the demise of sadly mostly the women so were they men I was gonna ask or they mainly men women it was men and women it was half and half and and everybody was drinking and this was these folks have a high-end wine cellar right so I mean this was top tier vintage wines being poured like it was water and this hostess was so gracious that she had written to me a week before and said what wines do you like? And I said I actually don't drink alcohol. And she followed up and said what other beverages would you like me to have it was so sweet and I said sparkling water is absolutely fine if you are in the mind to there's lots of alcohol free wines and champagnes on the market if you're doing that and would like to bring some in for me I would happily consume it you can even order it and have it shipped but I'm like absolutely water is perfect sparkling water is good for me. Anyway she had so many non-alcoholic options for me when I got there like it was amazing. And I had all of these different things and and but anyway so the the these people are so gracious right the the manners the hospitality is amazing. It's and I have experienced it before but it was just something about this but then when I saw a couple of the guests at this lady's dinner getting so in a mix of ages too but the ones that got really wasted inebriated. Oh okay like like one person was almost asleep at the table. Maybe they're not used to drinking maybe they were novice. No no nope nope because the next day there was big conversation about it. So it was like it was so these were like people that know how to drink and got that wasted but I feel like that is that is part of their lives.

SPEAKER_01 42:52

That is just that kind of you know um drinking and and you know one of one of the women was leaving and and um they she said something oh would you like to take anything with you any of this extra she was like oh no I don't want to take anything but I'd take Maxine with like um sorry I'm not a to-go treat but thank you so much I was like put you on a stick and we'll wrap you in some aluminum we'll take we'll take her with us and I'm like oh my gosh yeah so then how badly drunk like what did it look like like falling asleep or they like were they insults so having no no no no no no no no like insults we were in the south that everybody's like you know in our it was it was the nodding this like slow blinking and um but but that's not the point of the story.

SPEAKER_02 43:45

Although the hilarious thing that the lady wanted me to take her home which is wanted to take me home like a party favor. I'm like what am I going to be doing with you anyway oh God that was a whole other can of worms that is the can of worms But so the next day, um, I'm having breakfast with the hostess, again, the most gracious, one of the most gracious women I've ever met in my life. And she said, So I'd love to know a little bit more about you not drinking. Uh-huh. And I told her, but in a nutshell, um, and I I would hope she's a new listener, and and I tell her why and how I didn't ever intend to not drink. Right. And she said to me, I would be so curious to try that. Uh-huh. But it's really hard because down here, as you saw, that that's life. Right. Everybody's going to everybody's homes in different parts to and we entertain each other and we drink. And I said, But but but did you see how much fun I had last night? And did you see that my my glass looked like everyone else's? Yeah. Because I had red wine and a beautiful glass that looked like yours. But but I was up at six o'clock this morning and bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and ready to go off for my day. Um, and she took out her phone and went on. She was like, okay, where do I go? And I actually told her to go on to Boisson.co. Yeah, yeah. I love Hannah. Hi. Um, your one-stop shop for all things non-alcoholic. And I said, go on this website. And she shopped and she bought all of these different things. And she was like, I'm having it all shipped here. And the next time I have a party, I'm gonna have both available to people. Oh, that's great. Good for her. Isn't that great though? That's great. Because and then it goes back to what we were talking about right at the beginning, which is the leading by example. I think there's no better there's no better way to do it than to just do it and show people like that that woman had never ever thought about quitting drinking, but she had in the back of her head, I drink too much, or everybody at my house is drinking too much, or when we all go out, we're drinking too much, but I don't know how to stop it. Right. Like I don't know, and I'm like, here's an alternative. Look, have this in your house so you can drink this and still look like you're having a lovely beverage. Right. Absolutely. That's great. Yeah. So anyway, that's my that's my sad story. But the lady didn't get to take me home. And Savannah is great art. Did you go to the art uh SCAD? I didn't go to SCAD because I wasn't there for very long, and I was there to maybe the Savannah Music Festival. I went to the Telfer Museum, which is amazing. Um I went to their modern art wing. Just walking around Savannah. The gorgeous buildings and spring was fully, fully in um in full bloom. Um uh oh gosh, I'm in my early days of being alcohol free, and some days I feel like I'm on really shaky ground. What were some of the things you did in those early weeks and months to help you shake the urge and re-up your commitment?

SPEAKER_01 46:56

I did a lot, like I love spas, massages.

SPEAKER_02 47:00

Oh, good.

SPEAKER_01 47:01

Yeah, so I was like booking myself like weekly massages, like just to you know, that was give myself a treat. A treat. Like I feel as though you have to treat yourself a lot, and I I think you have to also recognize now. By the way, I had tried quitting several times before by like moderating and stuff like that. So I I'd been in the discomfort zone a bunch of times before. So you recognized that right, but I think like when I finally decided that's it, you're willing to you understand that this is not gonna be forever. Yeah, that you're not feeling that the feeling of shaky and not being a good one that you're not it's not gonna be forever, you know. And with someone who's nice about that, my husband is so nice about these things. I'd be like, like, for instance, I would feel really, really sleepy sometimes, and he was like, That's gonna go away, you know. Like, and he was he's right, it's gonna go away.

SPEAKER_02 47:49

So to remind you But you're so lucky, like you had you had Brooks in your life to tell you that. And again, that's another reason for I feel so passionate about this podcast is I know I my mind is blown by how many people I'm meeting or are writing to us about how they want to try this, but don't feel like they have the support in society or in their friend circle or in their home. And and I feel like, you know, just a reminder to everybody that's listening if you ever need to reach us, it's so easy to reach us, right? Right. You can send us an Instagram message, you can do any of those things.

SPEAKER_01 48:27

The thing about sports is you have to remember, like Brooks was kind to me, but if I at any point in time I've been like, fuck that, you know. Like, okay, you're back with my world. You're the you're not gonna get support from other people because it's your shtick. Yeah, it's your shit.

SPEAKER_02 48:42

That's true, too.

SPEAKER_01 48:43

You only can support yourself, you can't rely on other people to support you because they can.

SPEAKER_02 48:49

But it's good to have like this specifically is from someone who's clearly trying. Right. So I cannot, that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 48:55

Is like I I can only offer advice, right? Like, listen, it's gonna go away, it's not gonna feel like that forever. It's normal, you feel like that. Everybody that quits that gets a little addicted to it physically feels very uncomfortable. You feel uncomfortable also socially, right? Because you have to relearn how to interact with your friends. All of it is normal, all of it goes away. And don't feel bad if people don't understand you because they're not in your skin. You're doing this. Yeah, so no one really sometimes I feel as though we rely on other people, and it's too much to ask other people to do something that you have to do for yourself. Yeah, so I'm telling this person it's hard, but it's not forever, it's very, very temporary. And once you're over this, it actually gets better.

SPEAKER_02 49:39

Do not worry. And also, I feel like you we're back to the same thing. Look at us like as a year and a half in. Right. And um, so things that I did um to help me, uh, so I was coming, I was in the 75 hard challenge. Right. So I have introduced all of this structure to my life that I found really helpful. I am a I am a structure addict. Right. Like I need structure. I love to get up at the same time. I love to um, you know, do the same kinds of workout. Like I really like structure. And so this the 75 hard really gave me that, that you have to do these workouts. And as part of that, I started my daily walk, um, which was 45 minutes with a book, a quit lit book, right? Quit literature.

SPEAKER_01 50:35

That helps really listening to a lot of podcasts and stuff, just to feel as though there's other people going through the stuff you're going through. And I remember because if as I said earlier, you can only do it for yourself, you can't rely on others, but it for me, anyways, it was helpful to listen to other people that's going through it. Yes, so that means that wasn't my friends, right? Because they're not doing it. But I remember, for instance, after one year, I went through this flat plateau. Like, I maybe for two or three, two weeks, maybe I just felt like now what? Like, okay, like I've gone through a year, and now like you know, like going through the first year, everything was a first, and it's like almost like a marathon. You're like, oh my god, I like everything. And then I I I got the one-year anniversary, and it was almost like uh anti-orgasmic. I was like, oh, and there was a little bit of a flatness to that, and I was like, fuck, that's it, and it was weird. And my neighbor, Sarah, my love, came over with her husband, boy, boyfriend always, but I don't know, Chris, who's so great. And I keep forgetting that Chris is sober like 12 years or something because he doesn't make a stint about he never talks about it. So I keep forgetting, right? Right, right. And then I remember and I'm like, oh man, I feel flat. You know, after he's like, Oh yeah, first year anniversary, it's normal. I'm like, is it is it gonna get fun again? He's like, oh yeah. He's like, I'm 13 years and it's still getting better. And I remember that gave me, I was like, this is gonna be fine, it's just a thing, it's gonna go away. Like, and I was like, it still gets better after 13 years. It's like, oh yeah. Yeah, and I was like, wow, like no, that's amazing.

SPEAKER_02 52:13

So and that makes me think of two things that I have to say now. One is the other thing that helped me and continues to help me is um give give the algorithm some clues, right? Oh, wait. What do you mean? You won't go on AI? No, no, the algorithm, like Instagram and whatever social media platforms on my feed. So now I get so many great stuff coming my way. Yes. And I love those celebrity interviews. I love those like those, those are my favorite. Those are my favorite too. I'm putting my dream list together for when we get into our guest section in a couple of months. I mean, I we we should do a whole episode on just who is our who is our dream list. But you're right about that, seeing like other people. And if you interact with those, yeah, the algorithm will start sending you more things like if you like it, you know. If you do a like, if you do a like or you do a comment. Right. Commenting is the best because that's really telling the algorithm that you're engaged. Oh, okay. With that kind of content, and then they keep sending you more. That's how it works, that's how the stupid algorithm works. Okay. So, but I found that really helpful is more of that stuff when you're when you're doing your Instagram time. Then the other thing, what I was just thinking of, oh, is because you said this is where my brain went. Because you said anti-orgasmic. Yes. Um it's not a word. It's oh, I don't know if it's a word. But you know what I mean. I mean, you can put anti in front of anything, and so you gotta get it, man. It deals against the orgasm. So here's where my brain went. Oh my god, I've just started watching Bridgerton. I've never watched it. I couldn't get into it. Apparently, there's a lot of sex, right? Which is why your anti-orgasmic comment made me think about it. I'm like, it's full-on porn. Is it good?

SPEAKER_01 54:00

See, I don't like to watch full-on, like, I don't like I don't even like it.

SPEAKER_02 54:04

Okay, listen, also, my husband is probably in there laughing his ass off because he was like, she probably doesn't know what she's talking about, what porn is. But it's um you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_01 54:16

I don't like watching people getting it on.

SPEAKER_02 54:18

No, I would never choose to do that in a movie. I'm Irish and can't be a good thing. But nothing to turn the channel when somebody was kissing. You're watching it on Bridgerton. But now I'm watching Bridgerton and I'm like, well, first of all, it's again, it's another one of their shows. I'm like, I can't watch it in a room where my son's gonna walk in. Oh my god. But I was I and I'm so behind. Is it good? Like the story. It's amazing. Really? Oh my god. I'm a huge Shonda Rhimes fan of that. Okay, right. And uh it the the show is fantastic.

SPEAKER_01 54:48

Okay, I couldn't get into it. I watched like 10 minutes of it, but I need to, you know.

SPEAKER_02 54:52

Oh yeah, it's a great story line. I couldn't get into it.

SPEAKER_01 54:55

I mean, it's also like candy with the dresses.

SPEAKER_02 54:58

I mean, that era of of how the women dressed, and and you know, it's like I I just I just like I feel as though, like the other day I was watching something, and then the couple was having sex, and it was like a normal, it was it was imperfect women.

SPEAKER_01 55:12

Like, it's not even about that. Like you see the guy having sex with his friend's wife's friend, right? But I mean, I'm like, how is he not actually having sex for her? Like, I'm thinking about the actors, and I cringe. I'm like, is Pee-Pee is like on this poor woman's like vagina, and they're actors, and they have like 20 cameras all around, and then I get really like uncomfortable. I'm like, that's not cool. Like, what uh right? Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 55:40

I can't watch it. Yeah, because there's a thing in the industry called an intimacy coordinator, so there's someone onset in that situation. I have never been in that situation, obviously, because I'm not in TV and movies, but I've been in today's where you have to But the what if the guy gets a heart on? Yeah. How fucking uncomfortable. I mean, it obviously it happens. It has to the shit they're doing. I mean, there's no way. I mean, the way Bridgetan is filmed, I don't know how they're uh it's it's like it's it's unbelievable. Anyway, that's just when you said antique or orgasmic, I just watched an episode yesterday and I was like, So that your is orgasmic, not anti-orgasmic. And um and I know they've like it's it's over, is it? Or are there I think it is. Oh, okay. So anyway, I'm only on like episode six or something, but I'm like, all right. I was looking for a new binge watch situation where women can watch two or three episodes at a time when I have time. Yeah. Um, because I don't watch a lot of TV. Oh my god, did you watch Bad Sisters? Oh, please, right?

SPEAKER_01 56:46

Anything that comes out of Ireland is watched. Yeah, and what's the name of the woman that she did all Sharon Horgan. Yes, she did Catastrophe also. She's just she's so beautiful, she is so beautiful, she's so talented.

SPEAKER_02 56:56

She's so beautiful and such a massive, massive. I love her. I would like a big girl crush on her. Yeah, I have such a girl crush on her. In fact, um, she's on my vision board as I'm gonna work with her someday. So, Sharon Horgan, if you ever see this episode of um, we have a girl crush. Um, and I would love to uh I have a whole TV show that I've written, and I just want you to work with me on it. So um, all right, we have time for one more question. Uh well, this is a good one. I feel like this is just for me. Uh I have have I just replaced my addiction to alcohol with an addiction to sugar. Did you? I mean, I wouldn't say um no, no. The answer is no, but I understand what it is to replace your treat that was wine or cocktail, yeah, replacing it with something else. And for me, certainly in the early days when I was like, okay, I am going to have a cupcake. You have to have it. Or I am going to have a whole bar of chocolate or whatever it is that you're doing. So depending on where you are in your journey, alcohol-free for the person that asked this question, is I would say, first of all, do not beat your shit yourself up about that shit because you are, I know somebody's gonna be like, well, it's sugar is addictive and bad for you too.

SPEAKER_01 58:28

Um yeah, but you're not gonna do something stupid because of sugar or drive and kill somebody because of sugar, no, or dial, dial, and drinking dial drunk because of sugar. There's a lot of shit you're not gonna do because of sugar. This is absolutely you're not gonna sleep with the wrong guy because of sugar. You know what I'm saying? I have to really like your cake.

SPEAKER_02 58:48

But uh, thank you for answering that stupid what would-be question. Um, or a stupid would-be comment. So in the early days for sure, I think finding the thing that takes the the edge off, the edge off or the FOMO off, or whatever it is, I would be comfortable. And then for me, who did who is uh, I mean, I wouldn't say I'm a sugar addict, but I really love I love a sweet treat. Like I'm a very big fan of chocolate and cake and cookies. And I mean, not to the point that I f I like I ever feel like it's a problem.

SPEAKER_01 59:21

Like I, you know, it's a sweet, like my mom, you have a sweet tooth.

SPEAKER_02 59:24

I do enjoy really well-made desserts. And I like you know, my mom's like, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, for goodness sake, dessert refuse to eat anything made by pinky.

SPEAKER_01 59:35

Don't ask her to have one spoon of it. No, no. If it's good, she's finishing it.

SPEAKER_02 59:39

But I say to that is indulge in things that make you feel good. Correct. Right now, especially in the early days. And then for me, what happened with my desire to give myself whatever food I wanted in place of having wine and martinis was my my weight has balanced out for the first time in 30 years. Where I'm where I'm maintaining a healthy weight. Right, right. Um and and not if one more fucking person asks me if I'm on GLP1s, right? Like, I'm like, no, I am not, but apparently I'm one of the few people um that that are not. I mean, it's it's a massive and listen, power to power to you. For me, what happened was a balance when I removed alcohol, the yo-yoing that I had done for three decades completely stopped. Same with me, and I was always thin, but doesn't matter. It was like that. It was the up and down and down, up and down. Now it has stopped, and now I can say, absolutely, I am having two delicious squares of chocolate right now in the middle of the day because I want to. And it's and it's it's no problem. So, you know, eat the cake, eat, eat, eat the ice cream, whatever it is that's making you feel good. I I would say keep doing it because you're not going to, as Isabel said brilliantly, sugar is not gonna make you sleep with the wrong guy or drive your car off the cliff.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:06

And I drink, I I definitely substituted NA wine for alcohol because I drink about a bottle of it a day. I used to drink more alcohol than that, but I'm saying I drink a good solid and you know, like take it to the restaurant where you're like, if they don't have it, I'll drink my sparkling, but it annoys me. Whereas you're like, you don't care. I it's like my crutch still. Yeah. And um, so sometimes like we I've said that before, like, you know, again, the other day, Brooks was like, Whoa, that's a big pour. There's a lot of acid in there. And I was like, There's a lot of alcohol in your fucking glass, you know, like get walk away from my NA, you little asshole. Don't even fucking touch it, right? Like, there's no weak. I bite by the case. We have a I have Brooks should know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like he has like a whole wine cellar next to that, my whole wine cellar because it's my thing. Yes, it's my thing. And um, and like a lot of people will tell me, like, oh, but there's a lot of sugar in those, right? And I'm like, you know what? There's a lot of teeth in that mother of yours, right? Like we it's like there's not that much sugar in non-alcoholic wine, there's less sugar than a half can of coke. Yeah, and I'm like, fuck off. There's a lot of alcohol in your leave. My you're doing a great thing for yourself. Nothing unless you replace your alcohol with heroin, you're most likely even ahead. Correct. You're ahead of the game. So don't sweat it.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:28

Oh my God, I love it. All right. Well, listen, that is all we have time for today. Thank you so much for listening, everybody. Um, keep listening. We're so grateful for these questions. Like it, it, it really motivates us to keep going when we know that um you're you're listening, we're resonating with you. Uh, as I said, we're we're making you laugh. I think we need our merch needs to say, we want to make you pee your pants a little.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:58

And you can't go to urologist if it doesn't stop.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:01

If it's not our fault. Uh anyway, thank you for listening, everybody. We love you. I'm Maxine. I am happy alcohol free.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:08

I'm Isabel, no age, and I'm happy as fuck.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:11

And we will see you on the next episode. Bye.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:17

I wanna be happy. Just wanna be happy. I wanna be happy and happy, brother, I'm gonna be free.