Q & A. Straight Up Answers! | Episode 19

One of our favorite traditions is back: a Happy AF Q&A episode. These listener-driven conversations have become some of our most popular episodes—and they're among our favorites to record as well. This time, Maxine and Isabelle tackle questions about life after alcohol, including what they do when they're stressed, angry, or overwhelmed, how long it took for alcohol-free living to feel normal, and whether they ever imagine drinking again. They also dive into one of the questions Maxine is asked most often: looking back now, does she consider herself an alcoholic?
As always, we share our personal experiences, not universal answers, and we're grateful for the thoughtful questions that continue to shape these conversations. Keep them coming—we may feature yours in a future episode.

Liquid Joy:
Wilfred’s Spritz

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www.happyafpodcast.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hi everybody, I'm Maxine. This is episode 19 of Happy AF Podcast. Um, I'm happy alcohol free. And I'm happy as fuck. And we're happy together.

SPEAKER_01 0:14

We are happy together. And by the way, in an effort to keep the episodes ever green, it's actually like minus 20 outside and snowing.

SPEAKER_02 0:25

We are actually in the height of summer. Yeah, that's not, you're not, you're missing the point of that. Now you're confusing everybody. I'm just doing a purpose. I think it's hysterical. It is gorgeous. We're still in the height of summer here. We just love, love, love, love, love it. You're wearing a gorgeous summer dress today. Thank you. Love is.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

COVID, COVID purchase. How wonderful was COVID for that, right? So during COVID, what happened is we went, we didn't know it was going to be COVID. We were living in New York City. We went to our little lake cabin. It was more. You told that story. Yes, you week or before. And then for a year and a half, we're going to be. Then you were like, well, and we're here. And I had no clothes. So you had to. Well, I need to stock up. Darn it.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

It's great. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 1:06

I I love it. I didn't do very much shopping during COVID. I fully, I fully embraced the lockdown though. I mean, we were so grateful that we had left the city as well. We had already moved here. Right. We moved three years before COVID. So everyone was like, Did you know it was coming? Right. Um, we moved to Vermont, and um, I know you have to be careful about because it was a very dark time. It was a very dark time. It was so magical.

SPEAKER_01 1:31

I know my sister-in-law keeps saying that. So I loved it so much. You always have to be like, you always have to rephrase it by I know COVID was horrible, a lot of people died. It sucked for people in New York City that were stuck. Like, yes, empathy, empathy. But then, like, when I'm done, like putting out there how I get it, I'm like, we had the best fucking COVID. We got so lucky, we didn't know. We got up there on a lake in the mountains. My sister was next door. That was our bubble, and I had people to drink with because I've always been an heavy drinker, but I was by myself. Now everybody's drinking with me starting noon.

SPEAKER_02 2:02

So listen, not again, not remotely on our podcast. I don't even like it. I don't know why I even have this. Anyway, um the the COVID period is widely known as being the time when people just became fucking alcoholics. Right. Like everyone was just drinking all the time. Yeah. Now I look back and realize that I was super cautious because I think at that point I was already in the place, very much aware that there were uh issues for me as a drinker that because I was a binge drinker, right? So um, and I think what COVID did for me was just solidify that whole binge drinking thing because I loved being at home. I did a lot of writing, I did a lot of home like work in my home. I was uh homeschooling two children at the time. Um, I was a music teacher, God help them, for on for an on online for school. Right. So I was, you know, I had very, very full days still, quite full days, but Saturday night I could switch off. Right. And I would drink Saturday on almost all through Sunday.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

Man, you sound like a fucking school teacher compared to me. So uh because so I was working remotely, so I still was working, but obviously the load was different, right? Because it was COVID. But and I've said that before, all it did is add company, you know. So I would start drinking noon-ish, but all of a sudden I wasn't alone drinking at noon-ish, and I didn't, I never hid my drinking, but let's say I didn't necessarily flaunt it, you know, that I had a glass of wine at 1 p.m. on a Monday, right? I didn't flaunt it this time around in COVID. I could. Yes, and we would go hiking. So let's say, you know, I had I would work, and then let's say I didn't have any calls or any startup. I work in construction. So we're like, okay, let's go for a nice hike. Me and my sister or a kid, and we had a couple of dogs and brooks. I would make lunch and obviously in terms bring a lot of Chablis, right? So and I would have done that regardless. But now people were like, oh yeah, it's COVID. And I was like, Oh yeah, right? Like it just made me look I had an excuse. You were normalized. That's it. You were normalized. But I already speaking of drinking, what are we drinking? And speaking of white wine and shabby, that's exactly what happened today. So you were like, Isabel, can you bring wine? I'm like, of course, I have a full when I say wine, we all know I mean NA wine, right? Yes, yes. Full very much so calve of wine. Except I was all over the map this week in Boston round trip yesterday, and my white wine is warm. And God forgive, I'm not gonna put a fucking ice cube in my white wine. I just go-to when that happens is this baby here. That's one of the go-to. Wilfred's. So I'll do an april spritz in my haste.

SPEAKER_02 5:09

And there are some not good versions of that. This one's a good version of that. Of the apple spritz, yeah. This is my favorite, yeah, hands down. And it's got a little citrusy to it. Correct.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

And in my haste, usually you should put tonic. Okay. But I took club soda. Fever tree, also my favorite. Yep. So I and well, Fred's like you were one mentioning, it is orangey, it's got rosemary, it's got rhubarb, it's got gensin. What the fuck that is, I don't know, but it's good. Ginzing. Not ginzing. Oh. Gen Xian, like a Gen Z, but not a Gen Z. G-E-N-T-K-I-R-D. And it's got carrots and blackcurrants. For color, probably. No, I say it's for our vitamins. Oh, and that. Vitamins. But nice vitamins. Like the British people say. No, and Irish people say vitamins too. It cracks me up. So, Brooks and I, I was listening to this podcast, and a man kept saying, and you will get your vitamins. So now I cannot say vitamins. I'm always having vitamins.

SPEAKER_02 6:07

Yeah, vitamins. We say vitamins and we say yogurt. Yogurt instead of yogurt.

SPEAKER_01 6:14

What the yog is fucking yogurt? It's yogurt. Yog. But I prefer yogurt.

SPEAKER_02 6:19

You know, I switched. People have asked me that, you know, what at what point did I switch from using words that I grew up with versus using words that are used in this country? Right. And it's been, it was a while ago. I think it was right around the time I had kids because it was like, it's, you know, I'm living here. I'm gonna raise my family here. I'm just cheers, cheers. Cheers. I had to, I was thirsty. Winifred's.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

Um I think there's certain words you should not be. Number one, Lou. I've my best friend. Yeah, my best friend was British. She passed away. She was one of my big drinking buddies, didn't die of alcohol, die of a fluke, like Diane Keaton, got up pneumonia and was gone at 41 years old. Tragic, tragic story.

SPEAKER_03 7:03

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 7:04

Uh yeah, really bad. Um, but uh she used to say, I need to go to Lou. She was British. And uh my mother-in-law is British, and I'm like, that's the best, and it's stuck, and I love going to the Lou. The Lou is one vitamins, I think vitamins is brilliant.

SPEAKER_02 7:19

Vitamins, vitamins, and then we also say words like um rubbish. I love rubbish. Throw out your rubbish, I love rubbish trash, and also from from your lips to God's ears. Oh, love that. I mean, there are so many, and don't even get me started on the Irish language. Like in Irish, we have the most extraordinary sayings, and I don't speak Irish. I love sayings, but but we have we have the most incredible sayings. I love sayings. That's another podcast for another day. When I have when I have my I have a cousin um who actually she'd be great on this podcast. She doesn't drink, never drank. Wow. Um she's the daughter of the aunt that I'm always referring to. When I say my aunt who has one glass of wine a year, it's her daughter. So not surprisingly, didn't grow up in a big alcohol household. Not our thing. Um yeah. Um, but Emer, my cousin Emer is um uh she's an an expert linguist. She's fluent French speaker. Wow. So beautiful. A fluent Irish speaker. What is an Irish speaker? It's like you mean Celtic or Gaelic or no, no, it's neither of those things, just called Irish. And it's called Irish. It's not English, it's Irish. So same as Gaelic is Gaelic and Yes, right? Gaelic is just a misnomer. We don't use that term in Ireland. We just call it the Irish language. Okay, but I mean it's Gaelic languages from all of those places, but yeah, in Ireland we speak Irish. Uh well, we don't speak Irish because if I could reference again the 800 years of colonization and ruination of our language.

SPEAKER_01 8:48

But I want to say on that, you can also tell your little Maxime, the little French guy that's saying at your house that I don't speak French Canadian, actually speaks French too. So you can put that in his pipe. Okay. I'm not getting over it.

SPEAKER_02 9:01

We need to get Maxime over here. Yeah, Maxime needs to come over here. I don't care. He's 13. He can't be exposed to this. Oh, I can get to both. Uh all right. Today I love our QA sessions. I love them. And they actually do keep us a little bit on track. Although we end up having like seven or eight questions and we only get through three because we never stop talking. Right. Um, but it's actually funny because I forgot what some of these questions were. And the first one is for you. Oh, Jesus. It's actually amazing because this is someone I personally know. I no. Oh, no. These are people these are people who like post on the side or on the So you know I'm on the idea. Whatever. Right. Um, when we ask people to send us questions. Because I don't know the answer to this. Oh, please do ask. Isabel.

SPEAKER_01 9:49

Is it sexy? Oh no fuck. You change the question.

SPEAKER_02 9:55

Um, Isabel, what do you do?

SPEAKER_01 9:58

What do you mean, do I do? My job? Oh my god. So it's it's because you've referenced it many times. But if somebody said to me, hey, what is your friend? Isabelle gonna be like most unsexy thing ever, and I'm gonna try to keep it like short. So I'm an engineer by trade. I'm a chemical engineer. Chemical engineer. I mean, that sounds so smart, fancy pants. I am so fucking smart. Anyway, uh, that's why I had to drink just to be with the land of humans, numb myself to your level. Yeah, to them myself now. No, so anywho, I am a chemical engineer and I work in construction on construction sites because in Laman's term, to make air conditioning in big buildings, pharmaceutical plants, data centers, they can't just put little air conditioning in the windows. That doesn't work. They use water, and that water, you have to do a lot of things to it, and one of the things you have to do is filter it really well. So we make filters, they're big machines with valves and pumps, and I'm responsible for everything about this filter. I design it with the design engineers, I start it up, that means I wear a hat and boots and I have tools. So, yeah, so let me and I have to sell it.

SPEAKER_02 11:13

Hold on a second, because we were actually talking about this in our team meeting the other day. Okay, I need a picture because now obviously all I'm thinking about is the village. And I've got a village people image of you.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

Full clothed naked. Wait, which one do you want? I can go both ways, I don't care. If I need to sell a big job, I take my top off, I put that on the page. I would like a photo of you in construction.

SPEAKER_02 11:35

And then we're gonna put it on the website, and then we're gonna go over to happyafpodcast.com and look at Isabelle in uh in a construction outfit.

SPEAKER_01 11:44

You know, years ago was Halloween. I was living in Harlem and I was coming back from traveling, got invited to a party last minute. I was like, fuck, I don't have anything to wear. I wore my construction garb. It was a big and I bought a T mustache. It was a big hit. Amazing. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:00

Do you have the um you're you're in too good shape to have the crack, the showing, you know. Oh, you can be skinny and have a crack. Plus, I have like the buttons. You have to wear super, super low uh Britney Spears.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

No, like my jeans, I wear loose clothes. So when I bend down, sometimes I do think I show a dip hole, a butt dip dip. Okay. I think I do show. Okay. Hey, listen, whatever is gonna close the deal.

SPEAKER_02 12:23

Okay, amazing. So I honestly like until this moment didn't know what to do.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

So most that's why most of the time you'll see me wearing um makeup, if I can I wear a dress, because I'm wearing jeans and hard boots. Correct.

SPEAKER_02 12:38

Wow. So I have a uh a sub-question then. So construction engineering, typically a very male-dominated business. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 12:51

So when I start, and also when I do design work, I teach design engineers. So once in a while I get to dress like a normal office person. That's yay, because I do teachings. Okay. Um, so when I was starting in the 90s, it was mainly, especially in New York City, Italian Americans and Irish, and actually have a funny story, and I was really cute. I was like 25, my accent was thicker, had long hair. And so I was a big hit in mechanical rooms that it was easy to sell because I'm also in sales. And I learned the most of my construction and engineering skills from these people that work in the field, right? Not in school, like really, because they'd be like, honey, come over here, let me show you this pump. Because I would learn how to calculate shit that I know how it works.

SPEAKER_02 13:36

And I found that now, now I'm going to we're gonna swap roles here. Yeah, and I'm just gonna highlight that you said, honey, come over here and let me show you this pump.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

Yes, oh my god, there's so many innuendos that we do. It's so bad. You've ruined me. So bad I've ruined you. But one year I remember I was 25. I don't know if I said that story. I was dating a boy from New Jersey, a medical student, right? And we broke up. So I show up on a site and I'm looking destitute, right? I have no friends because it was a male-dominated word. I'm a young woman in New York. I didn't study here, I don't know anybody here. And all my work surroundings are middle-aged men, not necessarily people I'm gonna hang out with. So I was quite lonely for many years. And this guy goes, Vinny. Goes his actual name. Of course his name is Vinny. Vinny, Frankie's, Joey, Joe. It's all everybody. Mickey. Al, Al, a lot of Al. So Vinny, hey, Isabella, not for nothing, but you don't look so good. What's going on? Is it the doctor? He was a medical student, not a doctor. So I'm like, yeah, we broke up. Oh, yeah? Huh? Listen, uh, not for nothing. Yeah, just tell me where he lives. We just we don't hurt him, we just scare him a little. Me and my cousin. And I was like, no, no, no, no. Like I'm good. And they were dead fucking serious. Oh, that's how it was. They were dead serious. Like I remember being in a meeting, I was so fresh. I was at a meeting with my boss. Again, this guy was Bobby. I mean, I can't make it up. The Bobby. And my boss was Al. I wanted his last name, and Al was Italian American too. I'm still friends with Al. So Bobby's like, Al, close the door. So we close the door. He's like, listen, uh, so we make a conversation. We have to go out for bid, but he wants us to retain the business. So he's basically telling this is the 90s. How we can do this without doing this. You know, how we can retain the business, but pretend we're going out to bid. Okay. So at the end of it, and I'm so French Canadian, I'm so green. Bobby goes to Al. So um, we never had this conversation. So Al goes, like, what conversation? And I turned like this one asshole. And Al's like, oh my God. He's like, Bobby, yeah, I've got you forgive her. Listen, forget. I mean, I didn't know what the fuck they were talking about. So that's just a shout out.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

Everyone's dumb.

SPEAKER_01 15:53

Oh no, I had like, so it was all male. Yes. I will be honest with you that if I was discriminated against, I didn't feel it that much. But um I like working with guys.

SPEAKER_02 16:06

But you were just a bit of a fish out of water. Here's the question, though, related to that.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

What what is was is the drinking culture like in the so I so back then I was a heavy smoker. So I didn't drink as much. I drank, but not as much as when I at 27, 28, when I had a bad relationship. We drank a lot and then I went downhill. So I don't recall that it was uh, and I didn't socialize with these people that much. You know, there weren't listen I was 20.

SPEAKER_02 16:39

So work dinners or work functions are not many of those.

SPEAKER_01 16:42

No, not back then, not with this and it was construction, it wasn't horrible. What was, I remember, is when I started making friends outside of that industry, and this was the 90s, and maybe you remember that, where like 24-year-old on Wall Streets were making hundreds of thousands of dollars and would go to restaurants and drop, like, you know, and it was like the big red wines from California that was like a thousand dollars. Right. So that like I remember like, and then that's when I started taking wine. I went to the international wine center center and did like parts of the Sommelier for four years um curriculum, right? Because that's in the 90s in New York, that the wine culture was becoming you had to be in it. Yeah, and the restaurant, yeah, right. And I have a few chefs under my sleeves, you know. Uh that was like, but that was like a big that that my wine drinking culture was more surrounded by that. And what about now? In terms of what?

SPEAKER_00 17:44

Oh, the way I work.

SPEAKER_01 17:45

Oh, so I don't like to socialize for work. I never did. It was never my thing, so I do it very little. Um that's not how I sell. So it's and and when I do socialize for work, it's people I actually like. And interestingly enough, most of these people from work don't drink that much. Those men don't drink that much. Interesting, very interesting. And I don't know if it's because, first of all, it's a very early morning kind of work, right? They're up at six. I mean, they're on the field at six. You're dealing with a lot of heavy machinery. So I'll be honest with you that there are people that drink heavily, but they're the minority in my experience. And I remember having to curtail it at dinners, like where I would have one glass and that's it, and then go home and open a bottle and finish it. You know what I'm saying? So I wasn't in an industry that I felt was drinking a lot.

SPEAKER_02 18:42

Because it's I mean, it's interesting because I've heard so many stories, both from books I've read and also from people that I've known. In fact, one of our friends who um Leah, yeah, who is uh um also an engineer, a nuclear engineer. Yes, like brainy people. Yeah. And she's really smart. She's incredibly smart. And one of the things she was talking about is and my mother-in-law who worked in finance in the 70s and 80s, I have friends who were lawyers, I have friends who've worked in advertising, and so much of those uh deals, back room, boardroom things, all they're just so heavily steeped in alcohol. Yeah, and Leah was saying that she's been going out on on uh these work trips and has still feels like really uncomfortable because it's mostly men and they're mostly drinking whiskeys and high-end wine. And she's like, I still feel a little bit, oh, I'm I don't, you know, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 19:46

It's funny. So I'm always I'm actually more comfortable in the company of men than I am with women. I've always struggled with women friendships. I always feel like a fish out of water with women's friendship. I always not with the meeting. No doubt. But like I always feel like I'm not enough or I did something wrong. I'm much more less comfortable. I'm very comfortable with men. So I've never so maybe they are drinking heavily. I don't see it. I will see that in construction. Think about it. These guys are hanging off pipes, right, right, right, right. You can't be hung over, right? And now, especially with the secure safety rules, there's a lot of eyes on these people and they'll lose their job automatically. So I think it might be more in the design engineering world in offices, right? Perhaps than maybe on site. That makes perfect sense though. Than on site, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:32

Well, I'm just glad that I and everybody listening now knows what Isabel does for a living.

SPEAKER_01 20:36

Yeah, more or less. Yeah. And then there's shit like we can talk about on this podcast.

SPEAKER_02 20:40

I'm kidding. What do you moonlight as? Um, this one's for me. Uh Maxine, do you now do you now think that you were an alcoholic? So that's an interesting one because and I feel there's no yes or no answer. But remind everyone like kind of drinker you were. Yeah, no, no, but I'm that's what I'm saying. There's not a yes. Right. It's not a yes or no answer. That's what I'm saying. It's like it there's many ways you could interpret it. And I think when I think labels are very dangerous, period, across the board. Um my brother, who struggled with addiction his whole life, I think one of the big um something that really held him back was not wanting to be labeled an alcoholic because of the connotation around that and how people then view you. You think it held back is recovery? Yes, yes, yes. Because he was like, I'm not an alcoholic, I don't want that label. I don't want to be put in that category. Um and then I don't know, one of the many, many, many um quit literature books that I read talked about the labels don't matter because what what somebody Considers to be an alcoholic and what someone else considers to be an alcoholic could be do different, could be two completely different things. Right. Um I would say for me, because I grew up around very clearly defined examples of alcoholism, of people going to in my family having to be in rehab, drinking in secret, doing all of those things. I always considered that alcoholism. And I think that label too probably held me back from addressing who I was as a drinker. That's true. Because I would look and say, Well, I'm not that. I'm not an alcoholic. I don't have to go to rehab. I've never lost a job. I've never, so looking at people who are labeled as alcoholics made me think, well, I'm not fine. When the truth of the matter is, I had a drinking problem. I had a problem with my relationship to alcohol, in that I could happily not drink it for long, long periods of time. But then when I did, I had the high likelihood is that I would overindulge.

SPEAKER_01 23:09

But like one of the quit lit that we've both read as mentioned, and I agree with that, when you label anyone, yourself or someone else, and like you said, labeling someone an alcoholic then is also a disservice to you because then you compare yourself. Yes. But also then you're making it the responsibility of the person to have gotten addicted to an addictive substance. Yes. Right? Yes. Like you, like you so don't say like he's a like you do cocoa cocoa in addict or whatever, like he's a coke addict, is of course is your that's because anyone who's gonna do coke, if they do it too much, you're gonna become addicted.

SPEAKER_02 23:42

But so that is, and that is so interesting because I was thinking about that the other day when someone asked me a question. Uh I was thinking about how anybody has the potential to be an alcoholic. If you're you man, you if we if we took someone who only drinks one glass of wine a year and gave him a glass of wine every day at every meal, they would eventually become addicted too. Absolutely. So it's you know, I I think uh I I also don't like the there's just the labels, the labels that go with this kind of abstinence, I think are problematic. Yes. I I I think calling someone an alcoholic um can put them in a category that is is that category is far too broad. I look back now and I would say I was a binge drinker because I was someone who would just drink too much in in various, unlike you, right, who had a pretty stable consumption, right?

SPEAKER_01 24:48

Heavy, high, stable consumption.

SPEAKER_02 24:50

Yeah, whereas mine was very, very roller coaster, very, very much um recognized that there were large parts of my week, month, years where I didn't drink.

SPEAKER_01 25:04

Would you be like, okay, would you be more acceptable of the term functional alcoholic? I guess. I think like if like you know, sometimes people want labels not to label, but just to understand. Yeah. Right? Like, and I think sometimes it's just an easy way to understand something. And just like you, uh, for me and alcoholic, because we grew up in the same era, is the guy who is on the street and like is drinking and sanitizer, right? Uh, and that's what we learn. So it is what it is. We're the product of our generation. But I think if you need to label someone who is using alcohol and it's not healthy anymore, I would call that a functional alcoholic. Right, right. I definitely was watching.

SPEAKER_02 25:49

Yeah, I mean, uh I just I hate labels. I understand. I hate labels. Um whether it's in relation to how you look or how you um socialize, or I I just feel like labels are restrictive, right? Yeah. They're they're they're putting people into a category and every single person is different. And I I love to reference the spectrum on which we fall as as users of alcohol when we were when we were users. And and I look at where I fell on that scale, and I was probably somewhere in the middle. So I would never say, oh God, yeah, no, she was a she had a big problem. And I don't think anyone in my life would ever have looked at me and thought, oh, Maxine's got a problem. Right. In fact, a not a lot of people, way more than than not, have said to me, Oh my gosh, I I would never have considered you as somebody who needed to quit drinking.

SPEAKER_01 26:50

Oh, that and that's the probably the one of the most difficult difficult hurdle when you quit drinking, if you were a very well-behaved drunk, like I was, is people are like, I don't know. Well, I'm friends always a well-behaved drunk. I was pretty beh well-behaved as a drunk. And and that's the most difficult hurdle because people are like, I don't understand why you're quite. Why? Why are you quitting? Why can't you? Yeah, right. Uh and and like one of these books pointed out that was really interesting is one of the reasons that anyone can become quickly an alcoholic is not just physically, but how your brains learn. Like, for instance, she was giving the example of someone who's always drank very reasonably in very moderation, very seldom, all of a sudden they go through a divorce and they have a drink, and their brain sees, oh, okay, I feel better during this crisis thing with this one, and you don't realize the association. And that reassociation gets done over and over. And now, next thing you know, you're drinking every day, and next thing you know you're drinking a bottle a day. Yeah. So anyone can become quote unquote an alcoholic at any time in their life. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:57

I agree with that. And and I would, you know, to wrap that subject up, I would just say whatever helps you. Like it uh labeling or recognizing a term of alcoholism or not was not a factor for me. Like for me, it was how I felt. Um, and you and I were talking about this off-camera earlier. It's like my my productivity, the increase in my my output as a human being is the thing that made me realize not necessarily anything other than I was holding myself back from my full potential. And you've also mentioned that your moods were not as great when you were drinking. Oh, definitely not. So not roller coaster moods, roller coaster moods be from the from the you know, crazy, as we talked about on the last episode, carefree party animal, da-da-da-da. But then the next day, the bear with the sore head situation and the being grumpy and the being tired and the not wanting to do anything and canceling plans and for me, overeating.

SPEAKER_01 29:04

So it's kind of like you don't have to be a diabetic to want to quit sugar, right? Like I know I don't quit sugar, but if I have, you know, I don't pay attention to sugar that much. But I've I've for since I'm a kid, if I have a little bit too much, especially in the morning, then I have to pay for it for three hours where I'm so sleepy, I barely can't put a foot in front of the other. If you take sugar, oh yeah, I love pastries in the morning. I don't like sugar the rest of the day, but in the I love pastries. And if there's if they're a bit too sweet, I'll eat the whole thing. I think it's delicious. And then I pay for it. Okay, because you have a sugar. I mean, uh a slum that you can, a slumber that you can't imagine. You can't, it's like your drug. So my point is, even though I might like the taste, if you're gonna pay for it, like fuck it. And I'm not a diabetic, so you don't have to be an alcoholic to be like, it makes me feel crappy.

SPEAKER_02 29:54

And and and that uh piece of advice that my another aunt of mine had shared, which was if you, you know, and this is for our listeners who have asked these questions, you know, you don't have to label yourself an alcoholic, you don't have to label yourself anything. If you are questioning your relationship with alcohol, then you're on to something. That's right. If you're one of those people who's like, oh God, I can't deal with these hangovers anymore, or I can't, then you're on to something and explore it and figure out, you know, for me, it was okay, I did 75 hard, and then and then I I I uh I did it twice and then I never wanted to go back. So whatever, whatever whatever leads you down the path to your better version of you, right, then do forget who cares about lazy.

SPEAKER_01 30:39

And there's something to be said also about the from the tail wagging the dog, you know, like that that person one of the quitlet was mentioning, like it you have to wonder. It's not normal if you're like tonight I'm just having a glass of wine, and every time you're having four, like even though you don't want to, you're doing something you don't want to do. And that was happening to me a lot. I was setting out for one thing and able to achieve it, and that's weird.

SPEAKER_02 31:04

You're like, okay, that's weird, like yeah, you know, yeah, yeah, agreed, agreed. We're still on the same page there. What do you do now when you're either stressed, angry, or overwhelmed? Oh, that's so funny because this this time of year, this summer, so uh in in the parenting sphere, uh, you know, they talk about crazy end of year, December. Uh May, they call May it May Mayhem, which we've gone through. And for me, it this year uh it overflowed well, well into June. And the that overwhelm is the thing that many people uh treat with wine, yeah. With with you know, the the mom wine culture. Yes. And and again, something that was so fed to a certain demographic of you work so hard as a mom, you never get a break. Here you go, here's your wine. Um, instead of saying, actually, how could we fucking give mothers a break? Right. Thank you very much. Right. Let's not give them something that's gonna make them feel like shit the next day. But of course, you know, if we had universal welfare and we had universal previous, we had a whole lot of things that would make mothers' lives better. But we don't. And and so the question, what do you do? What do you do in to manage your stress or your discomfort?

SPEAKER_01 32:27

That's a tough one. It's a tough one.

SPEAKER_02 32:29

I uh so I have carved out me time as much as I possibly can. Um things I love to do. I'm all caught up on Bridgerton and now I have to wait. That sucks. So that was my that was my not overwhelm and not angry or stressed, but um, so that's not really answering the question.

SPEAKER_01 32:53

Uh it's difficult. It's a difficult question. It's not because alcohol is an easy reach. And that's the part of quitting drinking, one of the parts that's the most difficult one. Yeah for me, it's been like literally I I'm a compensator, right? So when I quit smoking, I start drinking more, right? Literally. Yeah. So now I've replaced with NA. I mean, right.

SPEAKER_02 33:17

I drink so much of it. So you've got your NA. I would say something that I've definitely done is relax my crazy rules that I have given myself over the years about eating because I was constantly watching. As I have discovered mostly related to my alcohol consumption and then my my poor eating habits that would come from hangovers. Right. Um, I definitely will say, oh, yeah, totally having a slice of chocolate cake. I was out for dinner last night with a friend, and um, you know, before I would have said, no, I'm going to have I I would have said these exact words. I'm gonna drink my dessert. Yes. Last night I had a giant piece of chocolate tort. And it probably was better than booze. It was so good. So I would say that's something I do. Um, the other thing that I I that I do when I am overwhelmed, and it I'm very mindful of being overwhelmed because I I have I ever told you about my carotid artery dissection? Yeah. So one of, you know, so that that moment in my life we're thinking it could all be over made, and it wasn't as a result of overwhelm, or at least we don't know, but certainly it happened at a time in my life where I was completely exhausted. Yeah, I was completely stressed, I was not sleeping well, I was drinking too much. All of these certainly conflated the but so now sleep, my sleep is a thing that I will go to in any any situation of I'm I'm grouchy, I'm tired, I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm like, I need a fucking nap. Like a toddler. It's like I need a nap.

SPEAKER_01 35:08

I can't nap. Oh, I can nap. I've been blessed with sleeping. Obviously, my sleep was wonky when I was drinking, but considering even though it was wonky, it was better than most people because I've been blessed, like my late father, with this. It's like I'm going under anesthesia. Oh, what a great came and when I wake up every morning, I'm like, what happened? Where is it? What? Like, I where am I? Like every morning, it's like it was a black hole. You're like a dog. Oh like a dogby dog. It's like a black hole. So I've been blessed with that. But it's funny because you're talking about it. It is. I mean, I'm so grateful for it. It's so grateful because I've known insomnia only once in my life when you know those two years of being being sick all the time. And by the way, you're talking about your care, your artery. Yeah. Uh so the last night of these two years when finally you had the mother load of the appendix attack, which led to perentonitis, which that means the shit is everywhere. I was drinking, I was in pain, yeah, pain. And I remember thinking, this must be psychological. So I went and got myself a big old glass of Bordeaux, and I fucking drank all the way to my way to bed. And it was the kind of pain that at some point I was like, I might die. And I was drinking till I went to bed. At some point, I couldn't drink anymore because I was, you know, everything. But I so, right? It's so good. But again, and it's so ingrained in us.

SPEAKER_02 36:34

So it's funny, after my after my carotid artery dissection, uh, I was on um very serious blood thinners. Oh, Jesus. Because the clot had to dissolve and the artery had to heal. And so it was, you know, uh, so I was on blood. You cannot drink on blood thinners. Did you? No. Okay. So I didn't, but you know what? There were a number of people because I was terrified. I was probably I would reach the precipice of I might never see my children again.

SPEAKER_01 37:04

And now Did you not did you not have PTSD? Did you not have to take antidepressant for a while after that? Were you not reliving it all the time? I wasn't. Okay. I was very PTSD for a while. Oh yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:17

You know, I went into um, I went into a period where I wasn't allowed to do anything. Right. I had to be very mindful. There could be no stress. There had, like, it was all about and I have pretty low blood pressure, but it was all maintaining my calm and no exertion, no moving your neck too hard. Like none of this stuff. It's like we just need this thing to heal. Because the surgery that treats that in older people is has a very high morbidity rate.

SPEAKER_01 37:45

So what did you do to calm down? Like that's tying with diet.

SPEAKER_02 37:48

Can I tell you, it so ties in with this? So what did you do? I started taking well, first of all, everything had to stop, right? Right. And then I I was so mindful of what I put on my plate. On what not my physical plate, no, what's on my schedule, what's on my diary. Right. And and I wasn't able to do many, many things. So it's one of it's funny. Maybe next episode I need to wear one. I I embraced, I embraced the lady of the manor because it happened in the summer, it happened in June. And so all the way for six months, I was I was on um the blood thinners, but for the first three months, I wasn't even allowed to go for a long walk. Wow. So I sat on my front porch on a little I could do very gentle walking around. You could do anything. It was just super. I mean, it's other than that, you have to be on a stroke. Of course not. And uh. So I I was able to do that, but I bought these lovely caftans.

SPEAKER_01 38:47

Oh, I love those.

SPEAKER_02 38:49

So comfortable. So that was my summer of caftans, and I would just go from one different place in my garden throughout the summer, let it all air out, fucking underwear. Just this lovely, and they were long sleeved because I can't be in the sun very much. These long sleeves, long thing, and I just spent three months wearing those. Like that is that is all I did. And it was 100% the least stressful time of my life.

SPEAKER_01 39:13

So, what would you recommend someone who doesn't have the luxury of cleaning up their uh pericole plate? Yeah. Someone that is maybe like a uh a single parent, so they're just them, yeah, and they're they're quitting drinking and they're getting overwhelmed and stressed out like we all do. What would you tell that person to do to help out?

SPEAKER_02 39:35

Well, so I mean, it depends on on what your schedule will allow you to do. But for me, like things that we can do that don't cost anything are find a 30-minute moment to be outside. Right. For me, take a nap. Like I, you know, because we're the same. I'm 5 a.m. awake. Right. And now in the summertime, I'm wide awake with the birds and they're chirping outside my window and it's amazing. But I'm like wide awake, wide awake. In fact, today I was awake at 4:45 and there was no going back to sleep. Right. Which was fine because I get up and the sun is out and I sit outside and I work and it's amazing. Um, but I'm 52 years old, I'm 50 about to be 53 years old. I I get tired. Right. And and I have developed a knack of giving myself a nap in the middle of the day if I can do it.

SPEAKER_01 40:27

I would probably tell this person, like, let's say you can't do a nap, you you you don't you're living in the city, you don't have the outdoors. I would say, like, do what you used to do. Take, but take it non-alcoholic. Yeah. Get yourself a big old fucking glass of NA wine. Or call a friend, call your mama, call somebody, call somebody, like, call somebody to talk about whatever. You can bitch about politics, you can, but let it out, let it out. No, don't keep it in. Yeah, because it always goes away. It always goes away. And I've learned that more so when I quit smoking because I was so much more because you're physically addicted, and this fucking sucks. And it goes away. You just need to remember that it goes away much faster. Yeah, but you need to let it out. So I'd be like, you can't go walk in your garden because you live in the city, you've got three kids, you're a single person, and you're limited, and like you have all these responsibilities. You can't take a chill pill, take an NA wine or an NA whatever, and call somebody you like to kick the shit with and do that for five minutes. Well, and figure out whatever it is because there are plenty of people that's not going to be able to do NA wine, right? Or maybe you want to knit, or maybe you want to. Maybe you want a big slice of chocolate torque. Yes. Okay, so my that's my dessert. Right. Give yourself a fucking piece. I don't like sweets that much. I don't think about it.

SPEAKER_02 41:47

But if you like dessert, it's finding the thing for you that makes you gas.

SPEAKER_03 41:51

Ooh.

SPEAKER_02 41:52

Because that's what I sent a friend of mine a case of um uh a half a case of non-alcoholic champagne the other day because he said to me, My treat, it's my treat when I get home is is after a long day of work, I need my treat. And my treat is a glass of champagne, or you know, I keep a bottle in the fridge.

SPEAKER_01 42:16

That's what I do that. I yesterday, so I drove seven hours round trip to Boston. I had a big meeting with design engineers and all that, and I'm like, ah, and you know, I was getting all these calls. It was a busy day, and at 54, doing a seven almost and a half round trip. It's a lot. I was tired. And when I got home, first thing first, I burned the bra. By the way, I don't even remove my bra home. I remove it in the fucking truck. I'm like, I have this whole technique and I take it off my sleeve. Yes, there goes the bra. I almost tossed it through the window. I fucking hate those things. So first the bra goes, and I sped my way from Boston to have my nice NA Oceano Chardonnay, my God, with my boobies in the wind. I was so happy. So I understand this man, like, yeah, you want, and you did the best thing. You sent him a case of NA champagne, and it does, but you need to have a little bit, put a little bit of yourself in it. If you're gonna be like, well, that's not wine, well, that don't, well, then.

SPEAKER_02 43:19

Well, exactly. But replacing it with something, yeah, giving yourself.

SPEAKER_01 43:22

Now, what do you say on that? Like, one of the things that quitting alcohol has given a lot of people is we treat ourselves when we used to not. Well, well, that's the thing, but right the alcohol was the treat before because we were. Yeah, but we knew it was like it was, but you wouldn't treat yourself past that, right? You the alcohol that was a big enough treat that I feel as though when people quit drinking, they will just not say no to themselves on anything. Yeah. If they want chocolate, they'll have chocolate. If they want a massage, they'll have a massage. If they want, you know what I'm saying? I feel as though they're like, you've given up something difficult, so fuck it. I'm not saying no to you ever again. I feel as though you allow yourself more kindness and more treats. Yes. When you can drink it, when you realize that you've done this thing that is to some people impossible.

SPEAKER_02 44:13

It's hard. And to everyone who has done it, or most people, right? Who who if it was a big part of your life, it it's hard. Right. It's hard. And it actually segues beautifully into this next question, which is how long did it take before not drinking felt normal?

SPEAKER_01 44:33

Are you asking me or are you gonna um I think it sneaks in on you in little it? I don't think it happened all at once. I will say that definitely within maybe one year, it starts feeling where you don't think about it at all. Right. Like I realized I stopped counting the days. You know, after one year, like I stopped counting the days. I don't even know how many days it is, right? But it'll sneak in on you before that, where you'll go to a party and then get home and be like, oh, that's right, I didn't even drink. And you didn't think about it, you know. And I think that starts happening within months. Yeah. Right? What would you say?

SPEAKER_02 45:15

I would say it's different, you know. Of course it's gonna be different for everybody, as uh as we know. Um, I mean, it definitely feels so completely normal to me now. Right. Um, and I'm not even two years. Uh we're we're not because we're kind of the same. Yeah. I didn't I didn't do the day counting thing. Um, and it wasn't actually I had to go back and figure out what my stop date was date was because I had never intentionally stopped drinking, but I went back and realized what day I started 75 hard, which was September 23rd. And then um one of my friends who counts her days and counts uh, you know, she was like, That's that's a milestone in your life. You should give it the attention it deserves. Um, and so now I will always mark that day, or I will at least say, Oh, now I'm two years or or whatever. Um, it I feel I feel I've even gone further than it feeling normal to not drink. I feel empowered and free. That is true. It's very empowering. There's something very empowering about it. And it's, you know, I joke about the I feel a little um uh not arrogant, but a little bit like definitely it's like I'm like a little bit I've I've evolved past that um part of my life, which was a very, very big part of my life for three decades. So uh yeah, I would say if I'm looking back, probably when I probably around the one year mark, I was like, look at me, I don't even think about it anymore.

SPEAKER_01 46:52

Right, I don't think about and and I I still sometimes think about it, but not think about it like I want to drink. Yes, just think about it because it's so prevalent, I would say, or omnipresent in society, like way more than cigarettes was that you're always navigating, not every day navigating it, but it's always gonna be around where you know, reminders of how things used to be, and now you're not this way anymore, or everybody's doing it and you're not more like that. But uh I just like you, there's not a day that I'm like, I want to drink. No, no, no. Right. But where there you have a bad day and you're like, fuck, I can't reach out for anything. Okay, but I don't want to have alcohol. I'm just saying I can't reach out for anything. Yeah, you know. Um but you can. You can reach out for your NA wine or your chocolate torch. But it's not gonna numb me. Yeah, no, you have to let it you have to do the human thing. Yeah, you have to be a human, you have to you have to do the actual healthy thing, which is kind of like deal with it and let it be.

SPEAKER_02 47:49

Deal with it, deal with it. And that's the that's the thing that's actually healthy. We forget that that instead of numbing it, it's supposed to deal with it. Like, why are you feeling this way? And it's easier said than done because we think that quick fix is is the answer.

SPEAKER_01 48:04

Um and by the way, I've I was thinking about that this week. This is not at all scientific. I don't know this for a fact. Okay, just lest we forget to remind everybody we are not science. By the way, this is just from one white privileged bitch from Vermont to another. Yes, correct. Um, I wonder if people that have a propensity to drugs and alcohol just are not the kind of people that feel more than the average, like that feel intensely things. Yes. I wonder that, because I I I seem to see a commonality, not necessarily big personalities, but that tend to feel things pretty intensely, and therefore, and oftentimes I feel as though not as completely going off track on that, but and you tell me if that's the case with you, where I've always often been accused of being too much, right? I feel like my mom would be like, Why do you have to be so extremist? Yes, you know, if you knit, you knit like if you play piano at this, you know, and if you're happy, you're super happy. If you're in a bad mood, you're in a fucking bad mood, right? And I'm my moods are pretty stable, so it's not that, but she I've often been accused of being too much or a lot.

SPEAKER_02 49:19

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 49:20

And I feel as though that's-and that I've always been. And I feel a lot of the quit lit or people that were like, Well, I use the alcohol a lot, all say that. So many that they were accused of being a lot, like that's something bad. So to answer this person, that's the stuff you're gonna deal with all your life. That now that you're not drinking, you're always gonna be a lot or you're always gonna be too much. Yeah. But now you have to deal with it.

SPEAKER_02 49:46

Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, and you know, does I we keep saying you have to deal with it without and who said that it's out avoiding without avoiding the source of whatever has brought you to this point?

SPEAKER_01 50:01

And who's the who's the uh who's the authority? Who decided that I'm too much and you're too much? Like, yeah, who decided that if you're a certain way, that is too much? Where's the fucking line? Right? So I'm to these people that think we're too much, I'm like, maybe you're not enough. Yes. Or you know what? It's like everybody's enough in your own capacity. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 50:23

But so don't tell me I'm not, I'm too much. I'm saying you're not enough. No, no, no, no, but I'm saying that's how we get to we get to that problem. Correct. And and also, I just love to say, because I've had this my whole life, and even inside my family, where it's like, oh gosh, she's too much, she's too optimistic, she's too extended, she's too too everything. It's like, you don't have to like me. Move on. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 50:48

Right? It's it's yeah, but then I'm guilty. Like if you don't like me, then I'm that hurts my feelings, and then I start self-fake-that doesn't hurt my feelings anymore.

SPEAKER_02 50:55

Because I'm better I don't give a fuck. I'm better, but I'm better. But and of course, we still do it, still does hurt when someone's like, Oh, it's it's like the person who wrote then said, But then privileged white bitches from Vermont. You don't have to like us, go away.

SPEAKER_01 51:11

So, like some someone, I forget who told me that. Maybe it was my mom, some I forget whom, but someone like let's say someone doesn't like you, and you're, you know, I I can some sometimes I don't give a fuck, but there's other times I tend to go inward and feel like victimized by not being liked, right? And then the person was like, oh no, it was a friend of mine. She's like, Well, do you like her? And I'm like, no, okay, so why do you want her to like you? Like, you know, like I would be upset that someone I actually don't like doesn't like me. Yeah, you know, so I have a little bit of a complex of the adoration.

SPEAKER_02 51:46

Like, well, we're humans, we want to be loved, right? We want to be liked, we want to be appreciated. Possibly adored. Yeah. Oh, I like that. I want to be adored. Um, yeah. So, you know, to to wrap up that question, I would say around the year mark for me, it felt like. And now it's it's um, oh, and actually, this is this is pretty great. And this might have to be our last question, but um, see, we never get through all of them, but we can roll them over. Yes. This is a great one. This is a great one. Do you think you will ever drink again? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. The door has been closed. There is a question that is. Every one, I've been like, there's no straight answer.

SPEAKER_01 52:31

Like, if God came down and gave me, first of all, aligned eyes, right? So that I don't look like Picasso, boobs that stand up, so I never have to wear a bra. And if he said, Oh, I'll get I'll grant you a third wish, you can on occasion have just one glass of wine and you you won't have any more, right? Like it's a special occasion, you're like, oh, I rewon't, you know. You know, I'm granting you that wish. Like, and you're you're gonna be able to have one glass of wine every month and you're not gonna want any more than that. I would take that wish. I would take it. Would you?

SPEAKER_02 53:06

Yeah, even knowing now that what we talk about all the time, which is one glass of wine is not good for you.

SPEAKER_01 53:11

No, but one glass of wine is as bad for you as downhill skiing, it's it's treacherous, right? Like there's risk to everything, right? I think if you're able to have one glass of wine a month without it being a struggle, for me it would be a huge struggle. But let's say God came down, it's like, no, it's like uh then it's like it's such a diluted risk. And if you it's a delicious Bordeaux with your friends, and I'm like, it's like, as I said, downhill skiing, it's like riding a motor scooter, they all carry risk, right? I would take that, but that's it. And it would have to be granted by God.

SPEAKER_02 53:42

And that is the problem, though, because that is what the other side of this argument is using to tell people not to quit drinking. No, God, God would grant me.

SPEAKER_01 53:52

I can't, if God eliminates it, right? No, but like pretend there's one. I can't drink a glass of wine but per month. I can't. If I do, it's a glass of wine every half hour. So that's not existing. So same as my eyes will never be even, same as my boobs will never stand up. So it's literally there has to be God that comes down and is like, I'm gonna give you standing up boobs, even eyes, and also while we're at it, you have a third one. You can have a glass of great Bordeaux per month, and you'll never want more than that. I'll be like, fuck yeah, in that situation, maybe I would drink. Yeah. You think that's likely to happen?

SPEAKER_02 54:30

No, it's not likely to happen, but I don't, I guess my answer is different, and it's a firm no, chapters closed, right? It's over. Also, I no longer like the taste of it. So I would be the problem. I don't miss the taste of Bordeaux anymore because anytime I've tasted it, I'm like, wow, can't believe I like that. So for me, it's a very simple no. But the the the the sort of caveat to that is I also I also very much live in the present. So I don't look back and go, I wish I never drank. No, because that was a chapter of my life that I did. I also live in a world, you know, where you just don't know what is around the corner. But I wake up every single day with a fucking smile on my face, with no headache, knowing someone, I think I posted this on social media the other day on one of our clips. I was like, just knowing that I will never have a hangover again. Ever. Never, period, is enough for me to be oof, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:39

But by the way, short of God, and by the way, if he granted me that wish, I didn't think about that poor part, one glass of wine a month, that glass is not gonna taste good. So I'm probably not gonna drink it because you don't get used to it at all. So that's not gonna work. So then no. But what I can say with certainty that we'll never drink again, yeah, is even though the most horrible of things were to happen to me, which I hope the fuck not, yeah, then it would, if I drink because of that, now I have two fucking problems. Well, that's one of my favorite things of yours is for me one glass is like the whole the it there's I've tried it enough time, more than 25 times, yeah, to moderate, in very seriously moderate. Not like, okay, tonight I'm just gonna have one. That's not even a try. Okay. To know, right? And what that leads to. So, so there's not a situation. If you give me cancer, like I'm not gonna drink, that's not gonna help, you know.

SPEAKER_02 56:34

And I think with all of these questions, is while that is a black and white, that is a yes or no answer for us. I think that is sometimes um, and actually it's the whole premise of so curious, so is that for many people, never is too dark. Yes. To say I will never drink again is far too much for many people to grasp. Well, that's why earlier I'm gonna. That's why she says in her book, she was like, I she's oh did a plant just fly on me. Um, well, it's live here, everybody. Um what what um what Ruby says, Ruby Warrington says, is when someone says to her, Will you ever drink again? She says, I don't know. So that's her answer.

SPEAKER_01 57:25

My I rarely, like I said earlier on this podcast or the one before, I said, I don't like to say I'll never drink again. Yeah. Even though I know I will never drink. There's something about the finality of it. But I like to say it. Right. Right because also my mom has always said, You never say never. Yeah. It's almost bad luck.

SPEAKER_02 57:43

And I get that. I get that. But for me, I'm able to to to spin the the viewpoint around from not what I'm missing in in saying I would never drink again and thinking exclusively about it. Here I am, the eternal optimist again. Thinking exclusively about it from what I get. Right. What not what I don't have anymore, but what I do have. Right. So I would never, ever, ever for the rest of my days, trade the freedom and the knowledge of never having a hangover. Right. That's that that is enough for me to say, where do I sign? Where do I sign? And I have signed. Right. And that's it. You know? And cheers to us. Cheers to us, happy as fuck app, alcohol free. Again, and every now and again I we slur our words on here, and it's like we're drink.

SPEAKER_01 58:39

Oh my god. There's so many examples. So, first of all, my accent is still thick, but when I was drinking, when I was getting a little slush, woo! I mean, I don't know. We certainly our listeners would not be able to understand you. You know, the other day I was listening, I need to talk slower because I even struggle to understand me when I listen back to the podcast. No shit. I don't know how Brooks does it.

SPEAKER_02 59:01

I think don't even don't even talk to Priscilla about the closed captioning that she has to put on the things. She was like, I want you to know that because you can just tell the the video editing platform and it does it automatically. Yeah, not for you. No, she's like, no, I have to go back and like, no, that's not a good thing. You know, you know what did she say?

SPEAKER_01 59:23

You know, when you talk on your phone for the text when you're driving, do you know many times people are writing back, are you fucking talking to your phone because it's coming out gibberish? It's insane. Do you know how many times I have to say, I'm so sorry, she's not understanding my accent? Like, do you know? Oh my god, the shit.

SPEAKER_02 59:44

I mean, that even happens to me. And I, you know, don't well, because sometimes I say things and I'll say to Andrew, I was like, Siri just won't write what I'm saying right now. So I will call you later. But um, well, listen, this was a fun QA. Yes, very fun. Very fun. I'm glad we still have some leftovers. Well, because these these are and they're really popular, yes, these episodes. So we will always do one of these every three or four episodes. So we'll just roll these questions over. Um, but thank you, as always, for listening to HappyAF. Um go on over to happyAfpodcast.com where we're gonna find and post a picture of Isabelle in her construction outfit. Oh shit. Yeah, send us one of those. We have to send you to send us one of those. Um, as you know, we are on all the platforms Instagram, TikTok. You can watch us on YouTube, um, you can listen to us on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and all of the places and um communicate with us. It's our favorite thing and it's what keeps us going. You know, I I reference all the time the fact that we just did this one day and didn't realize it was going to become this uh thing that it is that is now a team and lots of listeners and lots of um uh friends in this alcohol-free space, and we do it for community. Like that's um one of the things we talked about in our in our uh team meeting was uh why do we do this? This is a huge lift for us. It's it's a big thing to run a podcast, it is a big thing for us to commit to recording them on a regular schedule. It is a big thing for our amazing um team, the tiny team that we have of three people. Um it's but but what motivates us, and I loved that that came out of our team meeting and our team dinner, was uh it it's building a community. And and that to me is so worthy. It is so worthwhile doing this without yet sponsors or or any kind of financial backing, is that we're doing it because we we fucking believe so much in building a community where people can be alcohol free and feel good about it and feel celebrated and feel connected. That's what we want as human beings, and that's what we're doing here.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:12

Well, I think I think you're a much better human than I am because personally it's just free therapy. So but I love it.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:20

That is the fresh creme fraî on top of my chocolate torch.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:24

All I want is to be adored and have fruit therapy and even eyes and stand-along boobs. That's it.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:31

We love you, don't we love her? Thank you for listening, everybody. I'm Maxine, I am happy alcohol free. I'm Isabel, I'm a happy as fuck. And we will see you on the next episode.