Adulting with Autism | Lean Into It with Guest April Ratchford

In this episode of Amplifying Autism, Wendy speaks with April Ratchford about self-acceptance, late autism diagnosis, and what it means to truly “lean into” being autistic.

April is the host of the top-ranking podcast Adulting with Autism, a resource for neurodivergent adults seeking validation and practical tools for navigating adulthood. She originally created the podcast for her autistic son before realizing later in life that she is autistic herself.

Drawing from both clinical experience and lived experience, April shares advice on self-advocacy, college, work, and relationships.  She encourages autistic adults to stop masking and instead embrace who they are. By leaning into your identity and surrounding yourself with people who accept you, you can create a more fulfilling life.

Takeaways:

• Lean into it, instead of hiding it
• There is nothing wrong with you
• Your life experience is valuable
• Find your people and a space where you can unmask and be yourself

About April Ratchford:

April Ratchford, OTR/L, is an Autistic occupational therapist, writer, and host of the top-ranking podcast Adulting with Autism, which has over 2.7 million downloads worldwide. Her work combines clinical expertise with lived experience to support neurodivergent adults navigating independence, workplace challenges, and mental health. 

As an Executive Contributor for Brainz Magazine, she focuses on helping autistic adults advocate for themselves and thrive.

Linktree: https://linktr.ee/adultingwithautism

Website: adulting-with-autism-shop.fourthwall.com

About Your Host:

Wendela Whitcomb Marsh, MA, RSD, is an award-winning author, TEDx speaker, and host of Amplifying Autism. Though not autistic herself, Wendy has dedicated her career to supporting the neurodivergent community. She is the founder of Adulting While Autistic and helps late-diagnosed autistic adults find clarity and community. 

Website: wendelawhitcombmarsh.com

Books Available on Amazon

Instagram: @wendela.w.marsh

Adulting While Autistic: @adultingwhileautistic 

Join the Newsletter: https://forms.aweber.com/form/49/591191449.htm

Thank You for Listening:

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it. Your support helps us reach more late-diagnosed autistic adults and those who care about them. 

YouTube: @AmplifyingAutism

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

This is Amplifying Autism, where every voice matters and every story shines. Join us as autistic authors, professionals, and trailblazers share their journeys, real stories, and real insight from those changing the world, one conversation at a time. I'm excited to have April Ratchford on the show today. April is an autistic, occupational therapist, a writer, an executive contributor for Brains magazine, and the host of a top-ranking podcast, Adulting with Autism, which is a vital resource for neurodivergent adults seeking validation, clarity, and practical tools for navigating adulthood. She started the podcast for her autistic son, and she didn't learn that she was autistic herself until much later in life. I first met April when I appeared as a guest on her podcast. And now I'm looking forward to continuing our conversation. April, I am so pleased to uh have you on the podcast today. It's great to see you again. Thanks for having me, Wendy. I'm excited to learn more about you. Can you tell me a little bit of your journey or your family's journey into just discovering uh neurodiversity in the family?

SPEAKER_01 1:32

So um I didn't discover I was autistic until I started my podcast, and it was from interviewing so many people, and then I had that aha moment, and I was like, oh, that's why I got fired and did all the things because I didn't know, and then when I was talking to another expert, they were like, Yeah, a lot of women in the room menopause don't realize they're autistic until they hit menopause. And I was like, Oh, so I wasn't crazy. So, but then um my sister was telling me that my mom is probably undiagnosed autistic as well. So um, and then in my baby book, it's written, I didn't speak until I was two and a half. Ah. But I have a cousin who's exactly seven months to the day behind me, and she's typical. So we mimicked everything together. So of course, kids follow kids, and no one would notice there was anything wrong with me because I just did everything she did. So they treated us like little twins, and then my sister realized that her oldest son was autistic. Um, and back then it was called um Asperger's, and she knew, well, I'm not gonna give him the label because there's nothing you can do for it in '97.

unknown 3:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

So she didn't. She had my niece, and we couldn't figure out what was quite wrong with that one because my son came six seven months behind her, and we couldn't figure out what was wrong with my niece. She would do these weird things, but it was different. She would ride her bike down the stairs twice. Oh, yeah, we were like, what's wrong with this one? We can't figure it out. She's autistic too. And mine, then came my, of course, my son's autistic, and then we have a younger one who's an Audi. He's autistic and ADHD. And then come to find out, my sister is also an Audi, Autistic and ADHD, because she's now going through perimenopause. She goes, I don't know what's wrong with me. And I'm like, I bet you you're an Audi. So all of us, it's probably a genetic component, but all of us are on the spectrum.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

You know, we have that genetic component in our family too. Um, and we didn't know, you know, but now looking back, uh, it's nice to reframe it so it's not what's wrong with me or what's wrong with somebody, but oh, it's just a difference, you know, there's there's nothing wrong with you at all.

SPEAKER_01 4:39

No, it's just we're all like on the spectrum and we're all very different, and we just that's how we roll. You should be us at family gatherings. It's Uno will never be the same ever again.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

Oh, and that sounds like a story.

SPEAKER_01 4:57

It is.

SPEAKER_00 5:06

Oh, it sounds like fun. It is now when when we first met, I noticed we have a lot in common. Um, I I love your hair, by the way, and the color. Yeah. Um, but not just that we both like colorful hair, but your uh, you know, I wrote a five book series that is adulting while autistic. And then I found your uh your podcast is adulting with autism. It's like we're both in the same uh the same mindset. I I would love for you to tell our listeners about that podcast because um they're gonna want to follow you.

SPEAKER_01 5:46

So I created this podcast um, particularly for my son, when he came out of college. He bombed out of college, and he was devastated because he couldn't figure out why his two older cousins were doing so well, and he couldn't grasp college. And I was trying to find him supports in Kentucky, and I couldn't find, and at the time I was driving all over Kentucky working, and I was listening to podcasts, and I couldn't find a podcast for parents, I couldn't find a podcast for him, and I got frustrated and I got mad. And my fiance at the time finally said, just freaking start a podcast. I was like, I don't know how to start a podcast, I don't know anything about that. I'm a healthcare worker, I don't like to talk. He just threw the mic at me and said, Here, that's all you need to do. So I started a podcast, and here I am January 1st. It'll be two years in going on season three.

SPEAKER_00 6:56

Wow, congratulations.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 6:59

And it's it's such an important topic. I think it's really needed to have your voice out there because you know, autism doesn't go away when people grow up.

SPEAKER_01 7:11

It does not, and it's a much needed conversation because parents transition and they transition and it gets messy. It gets messy.

SPEAKER_00 7:30

It does, doesn't it? When a lot of people are challenged with things that they look around and it looks like it's easy for everyone else, you know, going to college, getting a job, um, relationships. Um, and it's just not as easy for everyone. But that doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with them. You know, if you've got a different way of looking at the world, a different way of problem solving and um interpreting and perceiving the world around you, uh, you're not necessarily going to be just like everybody else in the college or the workforce, are you?

SPEAKER_01 8:08

No, and I tell my son that all the time. Like I was the first to go to college out of my sister and my cousins, and I was the last to graduate.

SPEAKER_00 8:19

But you did it.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

I did it. I failed out of five colleges.

SPEAKER_00 8:26

And you never gave up.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

It's what people need to understand is that you're gonna go on your own timeline and your maturity comes with experience, and that's what I told my own kid. Like, I'm not gonna tell him I saw his grades, and I'm not gonna tell him his grades are up because he's gonna be so disappointed because he worked so hard this semester because it's not gonna be what he wanted it to be. But what he fails to realize is that he did it without autism specific supports, he did it while managing a housing crisis within the first two weeks of school, navigating two and a half hours away from home.

SPEAKER_00 9:18

It's hard.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

He also doesn't call me. He used to call me all the time. He doesn't call me anymore. He has his own friends, he learned how to ride a bus himself with two other friends. He knew how to get help when he needed help, he knew how to trust his academic advisor when he said, This is too much, and so he made these decisions himself. And grades aren't always the end all be all.

SPEAKER_00 9:54

That's so true, yeah. They put everything on the grades, but and that's what I like about Marshall.

SPEAKER_01 10:03

They saw, yes, it's young probation, absolutely, but they saw the whole person. They saw, okay, we shouldn't have given this kid two writing classes in 15 hours. That was too much. Yeah, but he had the common sense to say, I need to withdraw out of these two classes before I completely bomb.

SPEAKER_00 10:25

Good for him. So knowing when to pivot, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:29

Yeah, so he listened to his advisor, he's going back for the spring. And they know he can do it because they saw he took a four-hour writing class in EKU and graduated with a B. And they're like, Well, what if we had just given him one writing class versus a business communication on top of the English class? So they're like, maybe we just gave him too much. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:00

Were there any specific uh accommodations that would have been uh more useful to him or that that he did use that were useful?

SPEAKER_01 11:10

He was trying to, he got tutors, um he was trying to do recordings um for class because one of his teachers didn't speak English very well, and so he was using recordings, but then he noticed that his the recordings weren't working, so what he did was take it upon himself to go to his professor and say, Listen, I'm a visual kinesthetic audio learner, you have to show me how to do this. So his professor said, Well, come to my office every week and I'll show you how to do it. Because that's great professor every week to get help. And he was the only student the first week of class that did this. He was a freshman in a class full of juniors and seniors.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 12:01

So he felt like he was behind, and he probably was because it's a CIT course, he'd never taken one, but he got a C out of it. He kept up. Good. So he's like, I feel like I'm behind. I'm like, you know, you're just maturing faster than you think you are.

SPEAKER_00 12:22

But and you know, that skill of advocating for himself, going to the professor and telling him that is so important. Not everyone is that's not easy for everyone to do. So he should be proud of himself for stepping up for himself.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

Yeah, I just told him I was like, get in. I'm like, listen, you're paying for this. I'm like, your job is to get in their face so you know, so they know who you are, and that you're autistic, you need help. You're not just sitting there like a bump on a log.

SPEAKER_00 12:53

That's awesome. Yeah. And he should be proud of himself. Should so you've been doing your podcast for you said two years, three years? Two years. Two years now, three seasons. Um, what uh what can you tell our listeners about what is um what's the main idea of the podcast so that they will come and listen to you?

SPEAKER_01 13:20

So I try to help with what comes next after you're out there after high school. Whether you need coaching, whether you need um mental health, whether it's relationships, um finance, whether you help need help navigating home life with your parents, because that changes. You're not it's not the mom tells me everything role anymore. It's the now you gotta navigate both because you're both adults. How to advocate for yourself, the workplace because now you have jobs, what's the red flags because there are red flags and jobs, um travel, which you can do to travel on your own. I try to kind of cover it as what would my kid need, and what would I want if I was in my 20s coming out of school, and what would I listen to to help me out between the ages of 18 and 34?

SPEAKER_00 14:40

That's brilliant because there's such a need for that. So I'm glad that you're out there and you've been out there long enough that if people start listening, they can go back and listen to your past episodes and get caught up.

SPEAKER_01 14:51

I try those early episodes, are rough.

SPEAKER_00 14:55

You know, we I think we all understand that when we start something new, we're not perfect the first time out of the box. And and I've I've listened to podcasts also where I go back and listen to the first ones, I go, oh, he learned a lot. And we are all learning a lot. Next, I'd like to ask if you have any new projects you want to tell us about, or if there's any question that you wished that I had asked you that I didn't ask you yet.

SPEAKER_01 15:27

I have a guest coming up in January, a big guest. His the author, JD Barker, asked to come on my podcast. Wow. Because he is autistic, he's late diagnosed. Uh-huh. And I asked him because he's this big author. I was like, how did you know you were autistic? And yeah. And then started pairing with James Patterson.

unknown 16:05

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 16:06

Until he, you know, started all these books.

SPEAKER_00 16:09

So well, that's that's amazing. That's that's quite a quite a guest you've got there. I'm gonna be listening to that one. You better believe it.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

I'm excited about that one.

SPEAKER_00 16:20

Yeah, that's exciting. So a lot of our listeners either have just found out that they're autistic or they're suspecting they think they might be autistic. What words of wisdom or encouragement or advice would you have for people who are where you were a few years ago when you didn't know that you were autistic? And from where you are now, what can you tell them as they're coming along?

SPEAKER_01 16:45

Um lean into it like there's nothing wrong with you. It's just like that aha moment. You may have a chip on your shoulder a little bit, because if you had had the supports when you were younger, you may have done better. But that doesn't compare to all the life experience that you lived. So it's like a catch-22.

SPEAKER_00 17:19

I love the lean into it. You know, it's like this is who you are. Don't don't hide from it.

SPEAKER_01 17:28

Yeah, don't I mean if you're a Gen Xer, you're just gonna lean into it anyway, because we're just wrong like that.

SPEAKER_00 17:35

But oh my goodness, yes.

SPEAKER_01 17:39

If you're a millennial, y'all are a little y'all are a little mushy. And yes, I know that it's in this realm of governments, it's not always safe to unmask, but oh sadly, true. Find your space in your people. You you know, you just know who your people are. It's for whatever reason, you just find your tribe and you can unmask.

SPEAKER_00 18:09

That's wonderful. Uh and and they're out there, people who who uh like the person behind the mask, people who think that you're charming and delightful just the way you are. Um, it it may not be the people that you've known in the past, but um but the your people are out there. I love that advice. That's great. Is there anything else that you want to add to that?

SPEAKER_01 18:32

Um if there's something you want to do, just do it. You're not gonna do it perfectly and it's gonna be messy, but it's never too late.

SPEAKER_00 18:43

I love that. That is such excellent advice. Do it, it'll be messy, and it's never too late. And you know, I will attest to it, it's never too late as the boomer. Boomer in the room, it is never too late to start something new. Thank you for sharing that. Now, I know people are gonna want to follow you and uh maybe reach out to you. What's the best way for someone to get in touch with you?

SPEAKER_01 19:08

So, because I'm elderly and I can't keep up with all my websites, I have a Linktree. So if you go to Linktree and hunt down adulting with autism, it has all my socials linked on there and how to find me.

SPEAKER_00 19:24

So that's that's brilliant. I'm gonna have to learn about that. Okay, and we're gonna put that into the show notes so that people can just find you easily. Um, thank you so much for being here, April. It has just been so much fun uh sharing this conversation, and I really am excited about what you're doing with your podcast and with uh Adulting with Autism. It's an important mission that you've taken on, and uh, I'm glad you're doing it.

SPEAKER_01 19:55

Thank you so much, and thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_00 19:57

It's been a joy. What a pleasure it was to reconnect with April Ratchford and learn more about her podcast, Adulting with Autism, and her advice for young autistic folk, navigating adulting, self-advocacy, college, and work. Here are four things I'll remember from her advice for newly diagnosed autistic adults. First, lean into it. Second, there's nothing wrong with you. Third, your life experience is valuable. And fourth, find your space, your people, your tribe, where you can unmask and be yourself. I hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I did, and that you'll go listen and subscribe to April's podcast, Adulting with Autism. If you want to be notified of upcoming episodes of Amplifying Autism, subscribe here. This is Wendell LeVoy Kammarsh. Looking forward to next time. You've been listening to Amplifying Autism, celebrating the voices that shape a more understanding world. Don't miss the next episode. More stories, more insight, and more voices that matter.