Acting Rejection, NYC Chaos, Aliens & Surviving Cancer Twice with Carly Otte

This week, Taylor sits down with actress Carly Otte for a conversation that truly goes everywhere in the best way. They get into the rejection that comes with acting, moving to New York in your early 20s, getting scammed by your first apartment, getting robbed, fake designer bag discourse, conspiracy theories, aliens, and Carly’s new mockumentary Conspiracists.

But beneath all the chaos, this episode gets deeply real too. Carly opens up about being a two-time cancer survivor, what it felt like to be the strong one in the room until she couldn’t be, and how surviving something that heavy pushed her back toward the life she actually wanted.

It’s funny, honest, emotional, and just unhinged enough to make perfect sense here.

💚 Support the Pod: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2550540/support

🎙️ Recorded at: https://westchesterstudios.co/

📲 Follow along / stalk politely: https://linktree.com/taylortaylortaylor / https://www.instagram.com/carlyotte/

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:16

Welcome to that featured on the Taylor Taylor Tinder shows intended for entertainment purposes only. All stories discussed here in are based on alleged events and personal opinions. Nothing share back or professional buttons.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome back to the Taylor Taylor Taylor Show. I'm your host, I'm Taylor Brooke, and today I have someone very, very special. This is our very first time meeting each other. We've been talking virtually. She's a friend of a friend, and I've become obsessed with her in the past couple months. Here's my friend Carly.

unknown 0:55

Hi.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

Hi, welcome to the podcast. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to have you here. Me too. So, for people who don't know you, give us a little background on who you are, what you do.

SPEAKER_02 1:05

Yeah, my name's Carly Att. I'm an actor. I'm local to the Philly area. And we got connected, yeah, through a mutual friend because I have a film that came out recently and I was looking to talk about it, to share it with the world. And yeah, I feel like uh we were destined to meet.

SPEAKER_01 1:21

I think so too. And not only did we just have a friend in common and you're in this cool new film that just came out, but when we first got on a like video conference, I felt like I could talk to you for hours and just like gossip about things. Yeah. So I'm so happy to have you instantly. We'll get into all of it. Yes, we'll get into all of it. So I want to first ask you you're an actress. I uh as a former child actor myself, I don't think I could do this career as an adult. And because I say that because of the rejection portion of it.

SPEAKER_03 1:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:52

Like I'm a very sensitive soul. You guys are like, no, she's not. No, no, she's not. She's a fucking crazy bitch on this podcast. No, I'm very sensitive. So tell me, how do you deal with that rejection portion of being an actor?

SPEAKER_02 2:05

I think it's interesting. I'm also very sensitive as a person in general. Um, and I notice in times in my life where I'm facing rejection in multiple ways, I feel it heavy in a more heavy way. Um but I think with my acting, I just kind of accepted from an early age that that's part of the game. And I think the key is just longevity, right? If you if you want to be an artist of any kind, I think it's about like, okay, I'm in this for the long haul, which I know comes with periods of rejection, periods where maybe I'm not doing it so much, periods of self-doubt, and it's just kind of the roller coaster is part of it. Um, and I I don't know if I have like a golden answer of what I tell myself. I think I just kind of accepted it. But I do feel it sometimes. Yeah, I did you start acting at an early age or was this into adulthood that you Yeah, I I um I started my parents because I'm an only child. Okay, and I think in an attempt to just kind of socialize me from a young age, you know, whatever you know they could afford to put me in at the time, you know, they'd put me in different classes or camps. Cool. And I tried a lot of stuff at a young age. Um, so I did, you know, sports camps and science camps and all kinds of things. But kind of the the happy accident out of that was that at five years old, I took my first theater like class. That's awesome, yeah. And was just like, this is it, like this is my life, you know. Um, and they they were like, okay, that's your thing, you know. And so I was very much a theater kid. Film and TV didn't come until I was in my twenties. After college, I moved to New York and I shifted more into the film and TV side of things. So that was a bit of a later adulthood realization. Sure. But yeah, I was always a performer kid for sure.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

So what made you move to New York? That's a big move. What made you just decide to because you said you're a sensitive person. What made you decide, hell, I'm just gonna do it. I'm gonna move to the big city.

SPEAKER_02 4:01

I'm definitely a city person. Okay. I love living in the city. I went to the fur I went to New York for the first time on my 16th birthday. My mom said, You can have a sweet 16 party, or we'll take you to New York to see your first Broadway show. And I was like, that and I was I was like not very popular in school either. I was pretty bullied, so I was like, a big party sounds like my worst nightmare. But going to New York to see my first Broadway show sounds like perfect. Yeah. So I saw Legally Blonde on Broadway on the first time. Couldn't be better. Yeah. I was like crying, I was in heaven. Oh my gosh. And I mean, but you know, I think like my first few trips to New York at that age, like New York to me was just Times Square. Sure. Oh my gosh. Yes, yep. Um, and I couldn't go to New York without like standing in Times Square because that was all I really understood it to be.

SPEAKER_01 4:44

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 4:45

Um, and then in college, I would go up as much as I can on spring breaks or in the summer I'd take little trips. And I think that's when I started to learn what it actually would be like potentially to live there. And I just, it was like never really a question. I just thought, like, this is my place. I need to figure it out. Incredible. But I still, I mean, I moved there at 22, such a little dummy, like thinking I knew it all like you do at 22. Yeah. And actually not not at all.

SPEAKER_01 5:10

Knowing nothing.

SPEAKER_02 5:11

Yeah. Yeah. And I think, you know, I was strong-willed, and I got lucky in some respects too, just in terms of, you know, finding I think things happened the way they happened that allowed me to be able to stay there and you know, even like finding my first New York apartment.

SPEAKER_01 5:29

I was gonna ask, where did you live?

SPEAKER_02 5:30

My roommate and I, so we went up for like a week in the summer. We viewed a bunch of places, none of them worked out. Kind of a long story, but none of them really worked out, and we ended up leaving the week without signing a lease. And but we had to go back.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

Right.

SPEAKER_02 5:45

And we're just like, huh, okay, I hope it works out. And the real estate agent we'd been working with ended up saying calling us later and saying, Okay, I have this other one that isn't is is currently being renovated, and you can move in, you know, August 1st. It'll be done by August 1st. Awesome. So we had to do, we had to like sign it, sign at least like sight unseen, which in hindsight is anxiety, yeah. Dumb, dumb, like silly dumb, right? But we were just like, Yeah, sure, I'm sure it's fine. Like, you're trying to trust me too. Yeah, yeah. We're like so trusting. And he calls us the night before we move. We literally were having a good like a goodbye party at my parents. Our U-Haul is like packed outside the house. We're like getting ready to drive to New York the next morning with this U-Haul. Okay. He calls and he's like, I'm standing in your new apartment. It's beautiful. Like, I can't wait for you to get here tomorrow. Like, you're gonna love it. So we're just jazzed. Yeah. We roll up to that apartment the next day. There is a construction crew running around it frantically. There's no kitchen, there's no bathroom, there's no lock on the front door. What, Carly? What? What did you do? So this is crazy. Yeah, I know. I went, well, I'm like the action planner person. Like my two roommates were panicking, and I was like, I was like running around to the construction crew guys. I was like, who's in charge? Like who's who's the manager here? Who do I need to talk to right now? And I go up to him and I was like, look, I know that's not your fault that it's not done. It's our real estate agent's fault for lying to us, totally sending us here when it wasn't done. Literally, he clearly just didn't go to see it and was like hoping for the best. I was like, but I have a U-Haul outside with literally everything I own, and I don't have the money to get a hotel or do anything with it. Like, I'm sleeping here tonight. Yeah. So I need a lock. I was like, stop whatever you're doing. Your new priorities are a working toilet and a lock on the front door.

SPEAKER_01 7:31

Damn, girl.

SPEAKER_02 7:32

Because we can't sleep here tonight without those two things. I was like, the kitchen can wait, we can eat out. Sure. Yeah. You know, like other things can wait, but like those are the two things we need. And he said, Okay, I got you. And so he like went and rounded up his crew and was like, All right, though, these are our new tasks, lock and toilet.

SPEAKER_01 7:46

I I love that you walked into a construction site and we're just like, all right, you guys gotta listen to me. This is what we need, this is what we need done. Yeah, I mean, yeah. I was like, I don't have any other option.

SPEAKER_02 7:56

Like, I can't like what am I gonna do with all my stuff, you know? Was your best friend like crying? Was she like Yeah? My two roommates were just like ah and um and they had stuff in every room. And I also said the big, the largest bedroom, I said, I need that completely clear because we're gonna move all of our stuff into that room.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

Smart.

SPEAKER_02 8:13

That's really so we started unloading the U-Haul just all into one room so that they could still be in the other rooms doing their thing. Oh my god. And we literally, we like slept on our mattresses on the floor, we ate out. That is what how long did it take for it to be finished? It ended up actually taking, we ended up getting half of our all of our like broker fees and like uh good real estate fees back because we threatened to sue them, so they gave us half of it back, which probably should have been all of it back maybe. Yeah, but uh but you know, it's fine. And they said we didn't have to pay rent until everything was done. Oh. So we didn't pay rent for our first two months. That's kind of awesome. Because it took them a really long time to finish like every I was like, we're not paying rent until every trim and detail is done.

SPEAKER_01 8:51

Heck yeah. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 8:53

I didn't see this conversation going there. So I didn't either. Um, but yeah, but that was like my intro to New York. And you stayed. Yes. Well, because I I mean I rolled up, I didn't have a job there, you know. It was like I literally all the money I have went into this apartment. Yeah. I have a month's rent paid and a month to like get a job and figure it out. And so I was like, this is it. Like I've invested everything into this place, so it has to work. It has to work. And I think that's that's probably just that's how I am. Like, I'm like, I'll figure it out. Yeah. But I look back at that girl and I'm like, I think I got lucky in a lot of ways too, that you know, I did find a job and I was able to stay, and I, you know, it it's not an easy place to live, but I loved it. I loved living there.

SPEAKER_01 9:34

What was your first job in New York?

SPEAKER_02 9:36

I my very first job I got was at a as a cater waiter, like for a catering agency. Okay. And um, and then I think that was like day three in New York, I got that job. Oh my goodness. That's a pretty good job, too. Yeah, I mean it's it's a it's where a lot of people start when you move to New York because there's always gigs. And um, and then I also worked as a nanny for like a little six-month-old baby. I was like her, her like nanny a few days a week. Oh my gosh. Okay, so you were doing everything.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

And I worked retail, yeah. I did I worked. You did it all. I did a lot. Wow. So what's your most New York moment that you've had? Was it the walking in and not having your apartment done?

SPEAKER_02 10:12

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

Uh I mean, that's a good one.

SPEAKER_02 10:14

Yeah. I feel like that first year was just a lot of we had a bed bug scare at one point. We had, you know, it was just like there was always a thing. We got robbed, actually.

SPEAKER_01 10:23

I that's what I was waiting for because everyone has that story of, yeah, that time I was robbed at Gunpoint, New York, and you're like, wait, are you are you okay?

SPEAKER_02 10:31

Oh, well, we um no, our apartment got robbed because there wasn't a lock on the door.

unknown 10:37

No.

SPEAKER_02 10:39

No, it's it's even dumber. Um I so the the building had a bunch of empty apartments, and we were the first one to be renovated in a series of renovations. Naturally. So I think what we kind of came to learn later was that squatters had knew there were empty apartments in there and were kind of sneaking in at night to sleep there. Oh my god. Just like because they thought the apartments were empty and you know, whatever. And we had recently moved in and they didn't no one knew that, right? Because it was a newly renovated apartment. And so these two guys came in one night just to sleep, we think. And my roommate, one of my roommates, had left the night before to go to her boyfriend's and didn't lock the door behind her. And we didn't, we were so green that we didn't even know that like apartment doors in New York, like you could like do the auto lock where it like automatically closes behind you. We learned it that night that they do that.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 11:27

So we were like manually locking our door every time we came and went, you know? Yeah. She left to her boyfriends, didn't lock the door. In the middle of the night, these two guys come in. Luckily, they walked into my roommate, um, my male roommate's room. Okay. Which I I am very grateful for because it could have been worse, maybe. Yeah, could have been a different situation. They walked into his room, they turned the light on. They were just as surprised to see him as he was to see them from the way he tells the story. There was like a lot of chaos. And he's blind without his glasses, so he's like reaching for his glasses, he's trying to figure it out. This poor guy. They run, they leave. He's like, get out, get out. They run, they leave, it's fine. He comes into my room, he wakes me up, and he's like, There were just two guys in my room. And I said, And I'm the opposite, right? Like, I'm not, he's like a groggy, like he's slowly kind of come, and I'm like, I'm up like a light. I'm like, Did you call the police? It's like, were they your friends? Like, are you okay? I'm like, did they steal anything? And I'm immediately like running around the apartment, like looking to see if anything's missing. Oh my god, you're like, Are you okay? Did they hurt you? Right. I'm like, I'm like action mode again, right? And he's like, No, no, no, I don't know. They just left. And I was like, they they just left, like they didn't take anything. And then all of a sudden his eyes get really big and he runs into his room and he realizes his computer, his laptop is gone. So, like in his like groggy state looking for his glasses, they had swiped his laptop. I don't think they came in to rob us. I think they just saw an opportunity because they were there.

SPEAKER_01 12:45

Because they were there, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:46

And we could see this, we their security cameras like downstairs that we saw after the fact that when they were leaving, you could tell there was like something under their shirt.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 12:54

Um, and so we call uh we also had another friend staying with us who had been apartment hunting, so she was like for her, she was probably terrified. We call the police. Also, it was like they brought out the big guns for this too. We call the police, shows up two detectives. Okay. Um, and a lady like was there like sweeping for fingerprints, doing the little like dusting for fingerprints thing. Oh yeah, okay. And these detectives are like yelling at us. We're all like sitting on our little futon. Stop you know, probably from the local Walmart. That's where mine was from. Yeah. And like these and these police detectives are like, you idiots. Like, this is New York City. You can't leave your door unlocked. And we were like, Yes, sir, we know, sir.

SPEAKER_01 13:38

You're like, I'm so sorry. I got robbed, actually. I'm really sorry. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:42

And they're like, there's nothing we can do. Like, you're never seeing that again. And she and the other person's like dusting for fingerprints, like, oh my god. Gave us like the biggest lecture, taught us how to auto lock our door. Important. That's what I mean. I feel like we, you know, it's like we had so many. I feel like, especially in my first couple years, there were so many just like New York moments that I'm like, that could have been so much worse. But you know, exactly. Someone was looking out for us, or we, you know, we made it through somehow. Like, yeah. And what part of the city were you in? So that was I lived on 155th um for my first five years. That's where that was. Um, which ended up, you know, as rocky as it started, I loved living there. It ended up being like a great for the most part, you know, there were some bugs, there were some problems, but uh that's pretty, I feel like part for the course in your first New York apartment. Totally.

SPEAKER_01 14:30

And the fact that I got it all out of the way the first year.

SPEAKER_02 14:32

All things considered, it was a really good place to live. Um, they like rarely raised our rent. So it was the perfect like I that's why I stayed there for five years because it was just so affordable for you know in your early 20s. Oh my gosh. The neighborhood was was was good. And uh and then I moved to Brooklyn for a while with my partner. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:50

I uh most recently I've been to I went to Brooklyn for the first time in like maybe seven or eight years this year. And we were invited up to like an opening of a bar up there, and for some reason I had this like sex in the city mentality of Brooklyn where I'm like, oh, Brooklyn's not cute, like it's not aesthetic. I loved it. In doses, I'm good with the city. I think I went to school in Wilmington, Delaware. So like I'm used to that, like they called it Kilmington back in the day of like, okay, you're gonna die on these streets. So like I've been going to New York more often. I kind of grew up in that New York like adjacent atmosphere. So I'm like, okay, maybe we take some time and we we do Brooklyn next time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:27

I think the cool thing about New York too is that you could live there for years and never see all of it because there every neighborhood has its own vibe. You know? Yeah. It's it's really just a it's a cool place. There's there's and just endless things to do and see and explore.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

Endless. Um, when I went up, so my best friend and I took a trip and she lived up there. So she had an apartment up there, and I was like, Oh, I'll come up with you for the weekend. We were just graduated college, and this is when my most like New York thing that's happened to me is we're maybe like 1 a.m. We're walking home from a bar and there's an overhang, and it's like for a funeral home. And I was like, we're like taking Snapchats or whatever was cool at the time. And I was like, that's weird, like there's a funeral home sign in the back, and underneath the funeral home was a karaoke bar. And I remember just being like, This is so weird that this is like formaldehyde upstairs, downstairs tequila shots. Like, I don't know what's happening, but I'm loving it. And I remember like getting home that night and I was like, this this will never happen to me in Philadelphia. Ever. I'm not ever going to walk into a karaoke bar and be like, okay, there's dead people upstairs. Yeah, like that's what's happening.

SPEAKER_02 16:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:31

It's truly New York.

SPEAKER_02 16:33

I will say I was very when I lived there, I was very like New York or nowhere. I and I still I love it. Um so moving to Philly was like a big surprise in my life too. Like I never I never pictured myself living there or really just anywhere else. So um, yeah, shout out to my new home, Philly. I am really enjoying it.

SPEAKER_01 16:52

So you mentioned your partner. Yeah. How did you guys meet? Was that through acting? Was that through something else?

SPEAKER_02 16:58

No, we were working retail together in Soho in New York.

SPEAKER_01 17:01

Where were you working retail? Lululemon. You met under Lululemon lights. That is so freaking cute.

SPEAKER_02 17:08

In the stretchiest pants. Oh my god. Yeah. Uh yeah, we've been together for 10 years. Was we met in 2016.

SPEAKER_01 17:15

Oh my gosh. You don't look like you could have been with someone for 10 years. You look 26. You met when you were 15, 16 years old. That's a fun game. Guess my age now. Oh my gosh. Okay, so did you fall in love first sight? Like you met him and you were like, this is the guy I want to be with forever.

SPEAKER_02 17:30

Not really.

SPEAKER_01 17:30

Um You're like, no, I'm still not sure, actually.

SPEAKER_02 17:35

He's great. Uh yeah, I I was 24. And so I was not looking for my person. I was definitely in my like carefree dating era. Sure. Um and you know, on all the apps, just doing my like the bright of passage. Yeah, when you're 24 in New York, like that's what you're doing. Yeah. And he was the new guy at work. And I definitely thought he was cute, but was not, I don't think that's where my mind was necessarily. Right, right. But I remember there was one day we were both getting off um around like dinner time. Like our we just our ships were ending around dinner time, and I didn't feel like going home, but I didn't have plans. And we're in Soho, so I was like, I'm gonna just go grab dinner somewhere. Like, do you wanna join me? Like, hey new guy, like wanna go get dinner, you know? Oh my god, I love it. And he was like, Oh, okay. And uh so we got dinner. So, but now he always jokes that that was me like making the first move asking him out. Uh which I guess it kind of was, but that wasn't necessarily my specific intention. Sure. Um, but I think we just became really fast friends all and then fast other things, you know. Like it was just kind of very natural, but we hid it from our coworkers because we didn't we're like, we don't know if this is a thing and we don't need all our coworkers in our business.

SPEAKER_01 18:46

Especially in retail. Yeah. Yep. Everyone would be on your ship.

SPEAKER_02 18:50

Yeah, we had one manager that clocked us because he was like, Well, you guys always like start together, and you'll like if one of you ends a shift before, you'll find some excuse to hang around until the other one's done. He was like, It was pretty obvious. Like, I can see what the guy's gonna do. I mean, everyone else figured it out. Um, and then I ended up leaving Lulu after a few months, so then like we were clear together.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

So you mentioned Soho, so I have to ask you, just because I've been doing a poll of New Yorkers and asking if I'll get in trouble for this, and on threads, people are like, You're literally fine. I think you're panicking for no reason. If I want to go and buy a bag from one of those people on the street that are selling them, uh the other studio we record at is WTF Studio, so it's right in the middle of Soho. Am I gonna get in trouble? I can buy a bag, like a knockoff bag, right?

SPEAKER_02 19:33

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:34

Like, is it okay if I follow them to their car? Because a lot of them have like the booklets. They're like those little women with the booklets, and they're like, Come to my vehicle, lady. Do you think that's fine, right?

SPEAKER_02 19:44

I think as long as you're staying in a public place. Yeah, you okay. Safety-wise, I wouldn't, I don't know if I would follow someone. Oh, sure, sure. But it legally, I don't think anyone's coming for you.

SPEAKER_01 19:55

That's what I thought. And so, like, there's a lot of discourse online where people are like, girl, you gotta like be cool. Like, no cops are really gonna care if you're buying a fake Balenciaga bag. But like, I've always just wanted to do it just for the thrill.

SPEAKER_02 20:06

I mean, I'm no lawyer, but if if I feel like the they are so brazen out there selling that they're not gonna waste their time on you. Like, fair enough.

SPEAKER_01 20:18

Fair enough. Because I they they look pretty high quality. I digress. This is like a whole other topic that I'm into.

SPEAKER_02 20:23

Um not my area of expertise, but I think you'd be fine.

SPEAKER_01 20:26

I okay, perfect. So I'm gonna use that. So if I do get arrested, I'll be like, okay, um, I need to call my friend Carly. I need to call my friend Carly because she said the car this was legal here. She lived there once and she said it's funny. She lived there once and she said it's amazing, and everyone does it. Um so tell me about your sweatshirt that you're wearing. Oh yeah. Because we were all complimenting it when you came in.

SPEAKER_02 20:42

Thank you. Uh so this is it says Larry Survi's East End Kids. Uh, this is the performing arts group that I uh was a part of growing up. And uh Larry Survey, my like lifelong mentor, he passed away recently. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you. And I don't know, I was getting dressed this morning and I saw this in my closet, and I just thought Yeah, well, I wanted uh yeah, it felt like a cozy, I don't really wear it, you know. Fire engine red is not typically like the color I gravitate towards.

SPEAKER_01 21:10

I was gonna say, you look great in red though. Thank you. You look and it matches your bag too. Um, if you didn't see, she came in here with a fire red bag.

SPEAKER_02 21:18

I know those are like the two red things I own. I was like, that's my outfit today. Uh but yeah, so I just yeah, this is my special shout out to Larry Sarrise Sand Kids. Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_01 21:28

So we talked about you being a child actress, you getting into the the arts world. Um now I have to ask you because I did child acting for a little bit. My sister did more than I did. We did this program called Act. Have you ever heard of it? I've it's one of those things that I've been asking people recently because you know, like how on TikTok there's that trending thing of like the gifted program, and there's that conspiracy theory behind it.

SPEAKER_02 21:52

Uh huh.

SPEAKER_01 21:52

I think that there must be one with this act because we used to go to like the Sheridan in the middle of Philadelphia, and then we would go. To New York sometimes, they would send us on auditions, and like the auditions were very creepy, like, and I feel like a lot of them like would be, but they were like underground in the city, no windows, and like you were auditioning for these random ass parts. But it was called Act, and they had like these different 30 to 60 second TV commercials, and they'd be like, Is your kid destined to be a child actor? And I was always like, Yes, mom, that's me. They're talking to me, they want me there. And now I look back and I'm like, there were hundreds and hundreds of kids doing this. Like, this Sheridan was packed on a Saturday for this. I'm like, was this a con there's a conspiracy theory in here somewhere? Like maybe they were, I don't know. I don't know, money laundering.

SPEAKER_02 22:40

Honestly, now I think everything is a conspiracy.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

Me too.

SPEAKER_02 22:44

I the older I get, I'm like, hmm.

SPEAKER_01 22:48

What's your favorite conspiracy theory right now?

SPEAKER_02 22:51

Oh gosh. Not for off air. I feel like they're so dark nowadays, too. It's like no, they are so dark. It's getting dark twistier and darker. Oh, for sure. But I'm so much more uh open-minded.

SPEAKER_01 23:07

So am I yeah. I love to go on YouTube and just watch a full video essay on something I don't think really happened and then be like, yep, aliens are real.

SPEAKER_02 23:14

Oh, yeah. I don't even think that's a conspiracy. I do think aliens are real.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

I I believe that too. Absolutely. After Obama was like, they're not at Area 51, I was like, so where are they? Oh Barack.

SPEAKER_02 23:25

Yeah. I mean, I I think I've always kind of felt that way. I don't think that they exist in the way that maybe we think they exist, but how self-centered would we be to think that we're the only beings in the galaxy? You know, like what a good point. Like, of course. I also think like we are probably like one of the least evolved species. Interesting. I think I feel like the aliens watch us. Like we are their reality TV. They're like, look at these idiots, just like.

SPEAKER_01 23:52

I love that concept. I like am obsessed. That needs to be an adult swim TV show. The aliens are just watching us. Like, it's so good.

SPEAKER_02 24:00

100%. Yeah. Okay, so uh I need them to step in. We I think we we need them to step in soon because things are not going well.

SPEAKER_01 24:06

Things are not going well.

SPEAKER_02 24:09

Please come help us. I promise, like, some of us are nice. You can live with me or Carly. Carly's used to strangers living in her apartment. I was in a job interview once, like semi-recently, where they asked if I would ever go to space. That was like, it was kind of their weird, I think, just like a weird question. They were like, would you ever go to space? And I said, never in anything man-made, but if the aliens wanted to come get me and take me for a little ride, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 24:33

What a great answer to that question.

SPEAKER_02 24:35

Was the interviewer like, oh, okay? Like, who says that? Yeah, they were both like, that's the best answer we've heard, actually. I mean, so funny. I agree with that.

SPEAKER_01 24:45

We're like same, actually. Yeah, same. So we're talking about conspiracy theories. This ties in really well to something that you've just done. Conspiracist. Tell me about it. Tell me about the film. Where can you stream it?

SPEAKER_02 24:55

Yes. It's a feature-length mockumentary. So if you're familiar with the mockumentary style, um, it's very inspired by Christopher Guest movies from like the 90s, 2000s, uh, Best in Show, Waiting for Guffman, um, or like TV shows like The Office, Parks and Rec that are done in a fake documentary style. Um, but it's a 90-minute feature, follows a brother and sister who are planning a conspiracy convention, aka Con Con. I love it. And uh the kind of the main wrinkle is that my character is uh the ex-fiance to the brother. And so kind of the drama that unfolds from our breakup is kind of threatening con. And uh but you meet just like you know, in true mock-umarinary style, you just meet a bunch of different kinds of characters. Um, you get to kind of learn some of their conspiracy theories.

SPEAKER_01 25:46

I love it.

SPEAKER_02 25:47

Um, but it's also very sweet, it's it has a lot of heart, it has a nice underlying message um just about community and like why do people seek spaces, right? Like we all at the end of the day, we all just want to find a place where we belong. Totally. Your niche. Yeah, uh, so it's it's really fun. It's available to stream on Amazon Prime, uh, Verizon Fios, Tubi.

SPEAKER_01 26:08

It's on a few, yeah. So tell me, you play a podcaster. I do. So right now, we're podcasting. Obviously, this is a really popular show, and everybody on earth listens to it and beyond and aliens as well. Aliens aren't listening, yeah. Totally. And if they weren't, I'd be very offended. Um, but what did you learn about podcasting? Was it weird for you to be a podcaster? What's different than like real life?

SPEAKER_02 26:33

Oh, yeah. I I did have to work on like my podcast voice. Um, I was actually really struggling with it a bit in rehearsals, and it won't you know, it's a bit it's like a big no-no to give an actor a line reading. That's what it's called, where the director will say, like, I want you to say it exactly like this, right? And they'll give you kind of the inflection or got it, you know. It a lot of people are, you know, like line reading is very taboo. Um, I was not getting the podcasting kind of cadence right. Interesting, okay. And I could tell I knew I wasn't, and I could and my wonderful friend who our director, he didn't want to give me a line reading, and at one point I was like, Can you just say it for me?

SPEAKER_01 27:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:11

Because I I'm not doing it, and I need to like hear Kate, because I do feel like there is this sort of cliche cadence totally that he they we were trying to achieve with this character. So he did it for me, and I was like, Okay, all right. And then I could practice kind of in that cadence. Right. And um, and then when we got to set, they had to like show me how to use the microphones because I was very kind of awkward with them. Oh my gosh. And they were like, you have to look like you talk, you know, like you use these every day. Oh my goodness. So there was a little bit of a learning curve, but yeah, she's she's like an influencer in the conspiracy space. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:44

That's so cool. Did it make you any part of you, even a little part of you, did it make you want to start your own podcast? Because just talking to you here and the conversations we've had like offline, you have so many stories and you're so fucking cool. Like I would sit and listen to you. Like, have you ever thought about it?

SPEAKER_02 28:00

I have. Well, my my partner Jonathan and I joke about starting a podcast together all the time.

SPEAKER_01 28:04

Do it.

SPEAKER_02 28:05

Um, but then I also think uh that feels like a lot. I don't know. I'm happy to be a guest. I'll come here and chat with you anytime.

SPEAKER_01 28:14

Amazing. Well, we love to hear that on the show because we don't always get that feedback.

SPEAKER_02 28:18

I don't know if I have the energy to really actually start one. I totally get that. I do love them. I love listening.

SPEAKER_01 28:23

What's your favorite podcast besides this one, of course?

SPEAKER_02 28:26

Well, my favorite this year is probably the cliche answer is Good Hang.

SPEAKER_01 28:30

Good hang is so it's so well done.

SPEAKER_02 28:33

Yes, it's so well done. I mean, I've always been a big Amy Poeh fan. Um and so when she started podcasts, like, of course, yeah, you're gonna listen. But I also just love the way she does it. And I love, I love the like talking well behind people's backs. I love just the way she interviews is so natural and fun to listen to. It feels like you're a part of the conversation with these celebrities, you know. And and I love that her whole background sort of I guess it's partially a joke, but I think it's probably true, is that you there's all these men just half-assing their way through podcasts. So why can't I? And then she went to become like number one, you know, within the first her first few months.

SPEAKER_01 29:11

Insane. Everything she does turns to gold. It's like one of those things. You mentioned the mockumentary styles and shows and movies like that. One of my favorite movies, Spinal Tap. Yeah. Very like mockumentary-esque, and then The Office and Parks and Rec hold that like special place in my heart. Is there a character from Parks and Rec that you identify most with?

SPEAKER_02 29:30

Oh, it'd probably be Leslie Nope. Really? Yeah, yeah, for sure. I think I have a lot of that character in me. Yeah. Um I care, I care a lot. I care sometimes too much, you know, and I want everyone to be. And that shows your work. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Uh thank you. Yeah, I I think that's gotten me in trouble at some points in my life, being, you know, I I do I worry about other people's feelings and well-beings quite a lot. Um, yeah. But I think that's what's so endearing about the Leslie Nope character, right? Is that she's just she's so earnest. She really, she's a badass who gets shit done, but she does it from a really empathetic place. Totally. Yeah. So I think I think characters like that, like fe showing women like that is is nice.

SPEAKER_01 30:17

It's so important, especially so many years later. Tell me, you have had a cancer journey and you're a two-time cancer survivor. So tell me what that was like besides horrible.

SPEAKER_02 30:26

Like um, so the my first diagnosis was when I was pretty young. I was 19.

SPEAKER_01 30:34

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 30:34

And I was in college, and I think I I didn't really let it phase me. I was very determined to not, I didn't want that to be what I was known for. I feel like at 19 and in college, like you're trying to make your mark and figure out who you are. And I was like, I don't want that to be part of my identity. Like I really pushed against it.

SPEAKER_01 30:54

That's so powerful, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:55

And I kind of just plowed through, and you know, I I think now in hindsight, I realize like the long-term side effects and things from that more so than I did for like the years after, because I just was young, I had energy, I plowed through it, and and you know, that was that.

SPEAKER_01 31:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:13

Um, getting my second diagnosis um a few years ago at that was hit me like a train. Like I really I I I went to a dark place for a bit, and I remember even my my mom and my my partner were like, you have to be positive, you know, you're only gonna get through this if you're positive. It's not like you to be so negative. You're usually the strong one, you know, the positive one. And I I remember saying to them at one point, I was like, I hear you, and I I'm sure I will get to that place again, but I need you to let me go through it. Yeah. Because this is awful. Yeah. Like, no, you know, and I they were both head and neck cancers, unrelated. I I do believe they're related, but you know, um genetically not connected, I'll say. And um, you know, I've never smoked a day in my life. Like I'm a pretty healthy person, like so it, you know, not that that means much in this day and age, I think, but it really it was I went through that period where it was just very much like why me? Yeah, you know, like there I could I there was nothing I could point to to be like why, you know. And I just had to go through my dark place and they let me. They were like, okay, go go to your dark place, like you know, we'll see you on the other side. They were, you know, that thought they were supportive, yeah. Yeah, they were there, but I was like, I really just feel like I need to go, you know, through this. I need to work myself through this. Um and with my second cancer, it was a very different process. Like it took a much harder toll on my body, on my mind. Um, and I think it it forced me to process the stuff for my first cancer too that maybe I had kind of buried. Yikes. Um but I will say when I came out the other side and I knew, okay, I'm not dying, I'm good. I it kind of reinvigorated my acting because I had kind of gone through a few years where I thought maybe I don't want to pursue acting in the same way anymore. Um I was a little maybe like belated quarter life crisis, you know. Like I turned, it was in my early 30s, I turned 30, and I was kind of like, uh, maybe I would do something else. I don't know. Like, what do I want?

SPEAKER_01 33:20

Yeah, you're still so young. You can do whatever you wanted.

SPEAKER_02 33:22

What do I want my next decade of life to look like? And I was like, maybe it's not acting. And that thought kind of scared me because I'd never really questioned it before. But anyway, I came through my cancer diagnosis, and that was actually the thing that kind of shook me out of that. And I came out and I said, you know, I want to be an actor. That's all I've ever really wanted. There's other things I love, there's other things I do. Um, but at the end of the day, I'll never not want to pursue this. And life is short. Yeah. So why not? And I, you know, I think I realized I had a lot of fear that held me back too from certain things. Um fear of the unknown with acting or fear of rejection. Maybe, maybe a little bit what we were how we started this. You know, I do think there is maybe a little bit in that, right? Like, I don't, I always felt like I made a bad impression. I had a lot of like social anxiety with it, and networking is such a big part of being an actor. Yeah. Yep. And I think I held myself back a lot. And coming out of the diagnosis, I thought, you know, like I've beat cancer twice. Like, I can go talk to people about being an actor. Like, I can do this. Like, this is not scary. I've been scary. This is not scary, you know. And I'm just gonna go after the thing I really love.

SPEAKER_01 34:32

It's so wild to me to hear you say, like, you were so fearful, because everyone that's listening or watching this podcast here, I think they're getting the same vibe that I am that you're so fearless. So thinking that you were able to go from being so fearful to being fearless and so confident is incredible. And you also said something in the beginning that really touched with me, and I feel like will touch with a lot of my listeners, is you said your mom and your partner expressed that it was weird to see you, the strong one, be weak, like be not strong in that moment. And I feel like even a lot of us deal with that in such small ways, not health related, but maybe it's boyfriend or girlfriends, or relationships and friendships and jobs and things like that. How did you how did you feel when they said that? First off, of oh, it's so strange to see the strong one not being strong in this moment. And did that kind of shape the way that you viewed other circumstances after that? Of like, I always am the strong one in most of these.

SPEAKER_02 35:30

That's a great question. I think I already knew that about myself. You did. I've always been the friend that friends come to, usually. You know, I think I'm I'm the like I I think I've always even if they maybe sometimes even if they don't want it, right? Yeah. Yeah, no, I can see that. Like I I just I um I I I remember going through a similar thing after my dad passed away, where you know, people always want to be like, Are you okay? Like, are you okay? Right, yeah. And you're like, Yeah, I'm good, like I'm good. Like, how are you? I'm good.

SPEAKER_01 36:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:01

And then people want to push to be like, I know you're not good, right? Like something's going on, I know you're not good. And I remember then having the realization where I was like, look, no, I'm not good. Right, right. I'm sad, I'm grieving, or you know, I'm allowed to be. Yeah, but it's like, but I think for me, I've always been that person where it's like I can't I can't live full time in that place. Otherwise, you don't get up, you know, like you're not. So I was like, just trust that if I need to talk, if I'm really not good and I need to talk about it, I will come to you. Right. Trust that I will do that. But otherwise, if I say I'm good, it just means like I don't want to talk about it. Right. I want to talk about anything else.

SPEAKER_01 36:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:38

And I and I think a lot of people, and I've learned this through grief with my dad and through my cancer diagnosis. A lot of people don't know how to talk to someone going through something heavy like that. I think that's fair. Yeah. Um, which is totally fair. It's a really hard thing. Even, you know, I have some experience and I still feel those pains of discomfort if a friend loses someone or is going through something, and I think like, okay, what you know, what do I text them? What do I say? How do I, you know? Um, and I think my approach, right or wrong, is I usually just say, I'm here for you, whether you want to talk about it or you want to talk about literally anything but it.

SPEAKER_01 37:16

That's awesome. Like, that's such a good guide to go by because you're offering like I'm here, everything's okay. But also if everything's not okay with you and you want to talk about it, I'm also here.

SPEAKER_02 37:26

Yeah. But also sometimes the thing you need is distraction. Is that like sense of normalcy? Is you just want to know someone's thinking about you. Yeah. Like, hey, I'm it sucks you're going through this. I'm thinking about you. If you want to talk, I'm here. If you want a distraction, I'm here. Like, it's all good. Cause I think that's often when I was going through my cancer diagnosis. I um I had to be at the hospital every day for treatment. And Jonathan, my partner, would drive me to the hospital every day. And then I did my radiation in Philly. Actually, this circles back to the Philly conversation. Oh my goodness. And we would leave the hospital, and then I was like, I don't want to look back at this summer and only remember hospitals. Right. Right. Like I want to imprint good memories on this time too. So we would leave the hospital and we'd go try a restaurant or a museum, walk around a museum, or walk around a neighborhood, or just do a thing. And the accidental end result at the end of the summer, I was like, Philly's cool. Fuck, I want to move here. You know, and I love that. That was like so not on my horizon at all. But um, I kind of forced myself to do to get out and do fun things, and this wonderful thing came out of it. So I think that's sort of a roundabout answer to your question, right? I just think it's like even through the hard times, I try and I am the person that finds the positive. So I think in that moment where I was really dark, it was a little bit of a like back off. Yeah. Like, let me be dark. Cause sometimes, because it's okay. It's okay to be sad, it's okay to go dark. Um, and I trusted myself enough to know I would work my way out of it. It just would take time, and I did.

SPEAKER_01 39:02

This has been so inspirational. It's been funny. I've laughed, I've cried, I've done it all. Keep chatting. Yeah. I know we could chat for hours. You're gonna have to come back on the podcast for sure. Um, we've had Carly Ott here today on the Taylor Taylor TV. Watch the conspiracists, watch the conspiracists. You're gonna want to follow her on social media, give your handle one more time.

SPEAKER_02 39:22

It's just at Carlytt.

SPEAKER_01 39:23

Awesome. I will link it below in the podcast description alongside all of her works. Thank you so much for coming today.

SPEAKER_02 39:29

Thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_01 39:30

Bye guys.