Am I the Problem? Let’s Write a Song About It! (With Xoë Miles)

This week on The Taylor Taylor Taylor Show, I’m sitting down with Xoë Miles, one of iHeart’s Top 10 Indie Artists!

From teaching herself guitar on YouTube with a $25 purple plastic guitar (as one does), to moving to Nashville at 22 and just deciding “yeah, I’m doing this,” xoë walks me through how she actually built her music career from the ground up.

We get into early pop girl influences (One Direction girls, rise), childhood delusion (she genuinely thought she was talking to Harry Styles online… and honestly? same), and the very real pipeline of having situationships but turning them into songs instead. Enjoy, little gremlins 🖤

Follow along / stalk politely: https://www.instagram.com/taylor____brooke/  & https://www.instagram.com/xoemiles/

A special thank you to a few of our incredible partners who helped make the trip what it was:

Rackhouse Media (Sean Haynes) for exceptional photography and production throughout the day!!
https://www.rackhousemedia.com/about/

The Airbnb Sisters for hosting us in such a beautiful and welcoming space ♡
  / the.airbnb.sisters 

Big Drag Bus (our presenting sponsor!!!) https://www.bigdragbus.com/

Tiffany Zing (Makeup Artist & Hair Pro) / tiffanyzinghmua 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:41

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome back to the Taylor Taylor Taylor Show, the show where we say things three times until they make sense. And today we are live in Nashville, Tennessee. We are staying at a beautiful property brought to us by the Airbnb sisters, and our production is all done by Rackhouse Media today, Nashville Local. You're gonna want to find them at the links in our bio. But I also have a guest here with me today. It's not just me yapping. I have one of iHeart's top 10 indie artists of the year. I have Zoe Miles here. Hi Hello! That made me sound so cool. What? Okay, you are so cool.

SPEAKER_02 1:19

You're so cool.

SPEAKER_01 1:20

Okay, how my gosh. So what was the feeling when you got the call? You got the message, and iHeart was like, You're one of our top 10 indie artists this year. I was like, Are you sure? Are you sure? Like, do we need to listen one more time?

SPEAKER_02 1:34

Do we need to double check? Are you sure it wasn't like Zoe Deschanel or something like that? Like, I don't, I don't know what's going on. Like, but who was your first call? Yeah, it wasn't my mom.

SPEAKER_01 1:43

Your mom. That was that was your mom. Your mom was like, yeah, it was boots down. Yes, it was. So how has that changed? Like your music for real?

SPEAKER_02 1:54

You know, it honestly just made me more motivated because I was like, okay, I'm doing something right. Yeah. Because I get very in my head of like, I'm 25, my mom's 26. So I'm like, okay, when it when are things gonna start happening? You know what I mean? Because it's like I've been doing it for a while, and so now I'm like, okay, that's the sign that I'm like on the right track. So it's exciting. I'm really hyped about it.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

So you're originally from Texas. I am. You made your way to Nashville, Tennessee. I did. How old were you when you decided to move? I was 22, so a baby, a fresh baby.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

I had lived at home my entire life up until I moved to Nashville.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Oh, and we were talking before this. Your mom is like your bestie, like my mom is. And you left your mom. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 2:33

I left my mom, left my dad, left my brother, left my animals back home, the family pets. It was a whole thing.

SPEAKER_01 2:39

But how was that? Was it freeing in a way, or were you just fucking terrified?

SPEAKER_02 2:45

I was honestly so excited. Because I was just ready, and I've always had like goals from a very young age, and like knowing what I want. And so I was like, okay, it's time. Like I gotta spread my wing. I'm like a bird, you know what I mean? Like literally, I have to. Yeah. And also it was a thing of like, I'm the first person in my family to go to a completely different state by myself. Like I lived there for an extended period of time by myself. Um, in my immediate family, at least, I think. Sure. That's what I've been told. I'm not entirely sure. But that's what I've been told. My mom's always like talking about and stuff, and yeah, it was it was awesome.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

It was so cool. Yeah. Oh my goodness. So when you first got here, you got to Nashville, you're 22 years old. What did you what was your first job?

SPEAKER_02 3:27

I honestly I'm very, I'm in a very lucky position right now. So basically, I had a job at a smoothie place, a juice bar. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

We loved it. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 3:37

And I still love juice bars and smoothies and all that. But then it would start to be like a thing of like, my parents are very supportive. And basically, me being here is like my college because I didn't go to like actual college. Right. And so they were like, okay, well, we'll support you, like being in Nashville as long as you're working hard, type of thing. Okay. But of course, moving here, I was like, no, I want to have a job. Like, I don't want to put in the effort and the work effort and whatnot. And then it just started to be a thing where it was like my dad was like, you know, just just focus on what you do, just just focus on the music and jump golden. So yeah. Wow. So I'm able to do music full time, luckily.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

That is so incredible.

SPEAKER_02 4:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

When you think about your music ability, because you can sing, like you obviously can sing. Where do you think you got that from?

SPEAKER_02 4:18

I think both sides. Both sides. I really do. Because my mom is from Louisiana originally. Okay. And so they grew up, you know, listening to Bluegrass and Country, and she always had like MTV music videos like playing on in the house. And I was just surrounded by music from a very young age on that side. And then my dad, I think my dad can sing, he just like chooses not to. Okay. Um, my parents actually both met in like the law field. So my dad's an attorney, and then my mom was a legal secretary, and that's like how they met. Yeah. So very random for me to just be like, hey, I'm doing music.

SPEAKER_01 4:49

Like also, like, so convenient for you because just to break the fourth wall, working in entertainment, if you don't have a good lawyer, you're fucked.

SPEAKER_02 4:56

And it's like funny though, because everyone says that my dad knows nothing about entertainment law. Stop. Absolutely nothing. He doesn't, he used to do like medical malpractice. So he's like, you know, I can help you find somebody that might know, but I'm not sure what I'm saying. That is so funny. I am so annoyed.

SPEAKER_01 5:11

I call my legal team like no one's business, and they're always like, Taylor, don't say that. And I'm like, got it, you got it. And I'm like, so guys, guess what happened? Like, so here's the T. That's why I have like a little disclaimer and like a little legal moment on like during my podcast episodes. Cause I'm like, maybe this will protect me just a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 5:27

It's so real. That's so real. I'm such a yapper. I'm just I'm open book, like yap about everything. But no, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

No, I love that. So you're a yapper, you write your song. So do you write about people that you date?

SPEAKER_02 5:40

You know, I've never actually had like a serious relationship before, which is wild.

SPEAKER_01 5:46

That is wild. So do you say you go on a date with a boy, some or or a girl, yeah, and something crazy happens, and they like, I don't know, like they tell you this crazy story, and you're like, okay, this is nuts, I'm never gonna see them again. Would you write about it? Oh, absolutely. You would for the plot. Yes. Absolutely. Okay, so you just haven't had the opportunity. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 6:03

Exactly. Yeah, but I do write a lot about like, because I've had like little like situationships. Totally. You know what I mean? So I have written about They haven't earned the title of boyfriend. Exactly. Right. Like I've only been with like one guy as like a relationship, and it was only like a month. So I'm like, Did you break up or did he break up? He broke up with me.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

Okay, so we hate him. Exactly. Okay, fair enough. You suck. You were terrible. Okay, Joe.

SPEAKER_02 6:28

Whatever. Because I hadn't blocked on everything.

SPEAKER_01 6:32

Okay, I need to tell I need to talk about this. I need to talk about this. I'm 28 and you're you said you're 25. So you're still younger than me, and I need to get a younger person's perspective. Okay, what's up? Why is this happening? I get the Venmo request from people I've never or I haven't talked to in like seven years, and it's like for a scent. And it's like, hey, was that you at Wawa? What? Hey, haven't talked to you in a while. Why is everyone sliding in to my Venmo? Is that a thing? I don't, is it? I don't know. I feel like I'm out of touch, but yes, that is so weird. That happened to me recently. Three times. It's so weird. Yeah, and I'm like, why?

SPEAKER_02 7:06

And the thing is, I don't have my Venmo like, well, I do have my Venmo publicly, actually. I take that back.

SPEAKER_01 7:11

I just made mine private because of this. I'm like, that's so weird.

SPEAKER_02 7:14

I'm like, do I need to? Because like for gigs and stuff, I have it as like a virtual like tip jar thing. But I'm like, do I need to like what's going on? What's the So like hey, I'm scared.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

Like I'm scared. So I had a situation once uh where I was like walking into a convenience store, I get my car, and I get a message on Instagram and it's like a requested DM. And they're like, hey, I just saw you at recent convenience store. I'm sorry, what? Has that ever happened to you? No, really, it's never I feel like it would.

SPEAKER_02 7:42

That's so scary. Yeah. I've had something, okay. I didn't have that happen, but I had like a wholesome moment happen. So my mom was in Texas at the airport. Okay. And we have stickers with like QR codes on them to like go to like my stuff. And essentially is like, if you like pop music, like go follow Zoe Miles, like blah blah blah blah blah, whole nine yards. And so I guess someone like saw it. She put it on like one of like the trains or whatever at IAH because they have like shuttle things or whatever. And someone like scanned it that day and was like, Oh my god, saw this on the on the bus.

SPEAKER_01 8:11

So that's so nice. That was cool. That is so cool. It's always cool when like someone comes up and they know your art. Yeah. And you're like, wait, I changed again. I changed that person's perspective on something.

SPEAKER_02 8:23

Dude, I literally, so I've like started this little like community on like Discord and like through TikTok and everything. I'm starting to have like a good group of people who like follow myself and watch my stuff. And there's this one girl who quite literally reconnected 2025, and she was like, Oh my god, I knew about you in 2023 through your song Miss Me. And I was like, wait, how? I was like, That's crazy. She's like, Yeah, I was like, What?

SPEAKER_01 8:46

Oh my god, it's wild. It is so wild. Yeah, I got that feeling with somebody or someone's somebody. Oh my god, like I love that song. Thank you. Tell me about writing it, tell me about producing it. Like, yeah, give me the whole story.

SPEAKER_02 9:01

So basically, I my writing process is very like it varies from case to case. Sometimes I'll write on guitar, sometimes I'll write while I'm producing. Sure. And this one was a writing while producing moment. So I did both at the same time, and I was just kind of like in a situation where I was like, you know, I'm starting to think maybe I'm the problem. Cause like I said, never been in a long-term relationship. Yeah. Starting to think I'm the problem. Like, I just want to be someone somebody type B. Yeah. You know?

SPEAKER_01 9:25

So that's basically girl. Sometimes it's so hard, especially after COVID, to find a group of girlfriends and find people that like respect you and get you in that certain way. So, like me being married and like not really identifying with that like relationship aspect. I listened to the song through the lens of like friendship. Yeah, it would be so nice to like have a friend that got it. Like was in this industry. Because all of my friends, I say they have real pupil jobs, they like work in computer science and coding and lawyer. And like my one friend Nate, uh not my husband, Nate, my friend, uh little Nate, we call him. He's like, he's like my little brother. He's like going to school to be an ophthalmologist. And then like the other day, like someone one of our friends' eyes was like messed up, and he like diagnosed her, and then she went to like a real doctor. I say real doctor. She went to another doctor, and then like they said the same thing, and I was like spiraling. I'm like, wait, so like our our friends can diagnose people now, like Pierre Watson. Yeah, like it's like how crazy is this? So it's like listening to someone, somebody. It was so interesting. Yeah, I love that lens.

SPEAKER_02 10:30

I've never heard that lens through like that song through that lens before, and I love it.

SPEAKER_01 10:34

That's so cool. So, uh, growing up, you your musical, when do you get your first instrument and what is it?

SPEAKER_02 10:40

So I started playing guitar whenever I was 12. Everyone does. Okay, everyone has that answer. They're like, I was 12, 12, yep. The golden universal age of learn learning. I taught myself through YouTube. So I went to songwriting camp in Texas. It was real life, real music. They had these like songwriters experience camps. I don't know if they still do, so rest in peace to that. But it was sick, it was so cool. And it was where you literally took two days to write a song, and then you went to studio for two days, recorded a demo to it, and then you practiced on Friday for showcase that you had on Sunday. And so I went to one of those, and that's how I started everything. I was like, okay, I want to do this for like forever now. Yeah. And then everyone played guitar but me. So I was like, obviously, I have to play guitar. Yeah. Right. So I bought this. I was, I literally will never forget. I was at my brother played golf. So I was at my brother's golf tournament. I was looking on eBay and there was a purple plastic guitar for $25. I love it. And I sent it to my parents and I said, Hey, just putting this in your noggin. And they were like, Okay. So got the purple plastic guitar and put a neon green One Direction sticker on it, called it a day, taught myself on YouTube.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

I love that. And I love that you were like, not accent music, not guitar center. You were like, I'm gonna go on eBay. Usually, absolutely. Like convenience. So you mentioned One Direction. Oh, yes. You went to their concert in 2014. How did you find yes? So you went to their concert five seconds of summer opened. Yes. Um what do you think? What do you think of Harry Styles' new album? Oh my god, I haven't listened to it.

SPEAKER_02 12:18

I know. I need to. I want to react on live to it. You have to. I want to listen to it on live.

SPEAKER_01 12:23

Who was your favorite person in One Direction? Harry. Well, okay.

SPEAKER_02 12:26

Nile. I have a story.

SPEAKER_01 12:28

Tell us, please.

SPEAKER_02 12:29

And my mom does not know this. We're so sorry. I'm so sorry, mom. So basically, it's part of my lore, and my community knows about it. I literally thought that I talked to Harry Styles whenever I was like 12. Okay. I went on a website called onDirection.net.

SPEAKER_01 12:47

Okay. Very legit. Yes. Very legit.

SPEAKER_02 12:50

And they had like open chat rooms, right? And so it was just back in the day, all the time. Back in the day. Bro. So it was just all these like 12-year-olds were on there, right? So it was all like people my age 12, so I thought. But then there would be probably, oh, I don't know, a solid eight Harry Styles. Okay. I keep hitting this thing. Eight Harry Styles accounts. And everyone would argue over who the real Harry was. Stop.

SPEAKER_01 13:13

Yeah. Stop. Yeah. So but you so you talked to Harry Styles basically.

SPEAKER_02 13:17

I thought I did. And then I went to my youth group the next day on a Wednesday night, and I told everybody that I had talked to Harry Styles. I would have too. In reality, no.

SPEAKER_01 13:25

I I would still tell people that. I would lie. I would be like, no, I totally did, actually.

SPEAKER_02 13:28

Oh my god, I told a girl that I was Miley Cyrus' cousin. I would believe that. It's the hair. Really? Oh my god. It's the hair, the eyebrows, like, yeah, there's something. Yeah, I just want to be cool in fifth grade. So I told like one of my best friends, I was like, yeah, I'm cousins with Miley Cyrus. And then we had a thing where it was like people came to school and they were like, okay, interview someone who has your dream job. And my friend was like, Oh my god, you could just call Miley. And I had to pull the no, she's busy. She's Oh my god, she's she's on tour, she's filming in a montana like and like I lost her number. Like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

Yeah, like my mom won't let me call her every now.

SPEAKER_02 14:00

Yeah, Sophia, if you're watching this, I'm sorry. I have something to tell you.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

That's so funny. So you were a Nile fan. I was. That was your that was your person. Yes, Niall and Harry. Yeah. Oh my gosh, I love that. Nile. I had a night out with Niall Horen's like band, like his whole band, and his like photographer and stuff. And the funny thing was, I was single at the time and I was working in radio. And on Tinder, like it tells you like who's around, right? Like it has like the miles. And there were two boys that were like, We're touring with Niall Horen. And I was like, Well, yes. I I love this. Amazing. Also, like you're Scottish or something. This is better. So in my head, I'm like, I'm not even thinking about dating them. I'm like, I am going to bring them in the studio and get a great episode. I'm going to my manager's gonna love me. I worked at a classic rock station. Nobody wanted this, okay? It's not like it was not in the cards. So I like get my sister, and I'm like, Lexi, we have to go out. She's like, okay, I guess we're going to Philadelphia on a Tuesday night. Like, I work at 4 a.m. So, like, okay, so we're out, we're chatting, and I'm like, I just gotta get to Nile. Like, I just feel like I need to get to Nile. They like go around, they're like, you know, it's like Niall like doesn't go out. I was like, oh, so he doesn't go, so I'm wasting my time is what I'm gathering. I'm wasting my time to this day. Both hi Jake and hi Christian something, hey, what's up? They like still following like my stuff and like we've been buddies, but it's so crazy that I was such in that one direction, like headspace where I was like, if you are connected to them, I will find you. Oh, absolutely. Who like what? We went to a random Irish bar in the middle of like South Philly on a Tuesday night. Like who does that? Yeah. Sounds about right though. That's something I would do. And and then I asked them afterwards. I was like, so like, why'd you slide you both slide in to my DMs on Tinder? And they were like, we wanted to see who you would answer first. Like, we were so bored on the plane. And I was like, okay, so we're all thinking this is a joke.

SPEAKER_02 15:45

Nobody went into this. Nobody's taking this seriously.

SPEAKER_01 15:48

However, however, like here's my business card if you want to slide it to your friend Niall. Yes, amazing.

SPEAKER_02 15:54

Please get Niall on the podcast.

SPEAKER_01 15:55

Like Taylor Taylor's Taylor show featuring Niall Horen when featuring Nile and Nile. Yes, Nile and Nile. Oh, I love it. Um, Harry Styles would be such a good guest, though, for sure. Did you watch him on SNL? No, I haven't watched it yet either. I watched him on Brittany Brosky, though.

SPEAKER_02 16:07

The brosky. Oh my god. So funny. So funny. So funny.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

I love him. So do you like Taylor Swift?

SPEAKER_02 16:12

I honestly am not the biggest Swifty, but I do love Taylor Swift. I think she's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 16:16

It wasn't in a fever dream that her and Harry dated. You know?

SPEAKER_02 16:20

No, it wasn't in a fever dream. I vividly remember being jealous. I was like 12 years old, and I was like, no. I was like, no, Taylor, he's mine. Back off. Back off. It was a whole thing. I was so upset. I was heartbroken. That was my first heartbreak by Harry Styles.

SPEAKER_01 16:37

Wow, now you have beef with Taylor Swift. Oh, mmm. I don't know, man.

SPEAKER_02 16:41

I don't know. Swifties, if you're watching this, I I don't want beef. I'm sorry. I'm It's okay. This is like a Swifty podcast in general.

SPEAKER_01 16:49

Like we all love Taylor Swift. So you're no, you're totally fine. You're totally fine. Yes. She's amazing. And no, she is amazing. Just in terms of songwriters, because she's a songwriter. Yes. You write your songs. Who do you look up to?

SPEAKER_02 16:59

Oh my gosh. So Taylor, definitely. Of course. I used to listen to our song like on the daily Picture to Burn, iconic. Um Selena Gomez was a really big influence of mine. Really? Yes. I love Selena Gomez. Yeah. Like she's great. Love her.

SPEAKER_01 17:15

Her last album with Benny Blanco, the song Fun, is like one of those. So amazing.

SPEAKER_02 17:22

Love her. Billy Eilish. Definitely like old Billy Eilish. Like you've got to be a good thing. I hear that in your music.

SPEAKER_01 17:28

Really? Oh my god. I do. No, I hear Billy in the way of like not vocally, but just the way that you like almost raspy. Like that like kind of breathy sound. Yes. Yeah. Oh my god. Thank you. You're welcome.

SPEAKER_02 17:40

I love Billy. Miley Cyrus for sure. Old Miley Cyrus. See you again. Oh my god. Iconic. I literally cover that at gigs. Do you? Yeah. Oh my god. It's amazing. I am I love it.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

Do you remember that music video? Like it was so good.

SPEAKER_02 17:53

Yes, it was so good. Oh my god. The music video, oh my god, what song is it? She's on the bus.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

Oh, um.

unknown 18:01

Start alone.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

Uh uh. Isn't it? Isn't it called Stardom? I think is it? Oh, into the Nunner. Yes. You make me want to forget. Yeah, that song.

SPEAKER_02 18:13

So fire.

SPEAKER_01 18:14

It's gonna be my head all day. Oh, me too. All day.

SPEAKER_02 18:16

Me too. Um, okay, Dream Collab. Oh my god. So many. Um, I'm a big EDM girly, so Skrillix. I would love to have a song with Skrillix. I am obsessed. I'm always his top 0.01% of listeners.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

Okay, I'm gonna mention her again because she's my bestie, Gracie Van Brunt. Do you know who she is? She is one of like just the top females in EDM right now, and she's killing it.

SPEAKER_03 18:40

Oh my god, wait, killing it.

SPEAKER_01 18:41

So I have to send you her info after the show. Love to talk to you. Yes. But she's actually playing her first festival like near me. I'm from the Northeast. Okay. So I'm like, okay, you're gonna be in New York. That's amazing. Yes. But she says a lot with the EDM world. When we were talking last, she was like, it's crazy because it's a male-dominated field. Like music is in general, like entertainment basically is at this point. She's like, but when I walk into like an EDM set, they always think I'm my husband's assistant. And her husband doesn't work in music. What? How does that make sense? I'm like, that is crazy. Yeah. Because she's just like, she's so spunky too. And I'm like, what assistants dress like that? Like, who's a neon with their hair tied down? That's okay. I love it though. That's so cool. Anyone else in EDM that you're looking up to right now?

SPEAKER_02 19:25

Oh gosh. I so Skrillix, Excision is a big, I'm a big fan of Excision. Okay. Um Chain Smokers. I would love to collab with the Chain Smokers. I think they're so cool. Especially like their newer stuff. There's a song. Oh my god, what song is it? I can't remember the name. Their newer stuff is great though. I love their new stuff. Um Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:47

I feel like you and Haley Williams would also get along. I could see that.

SPEAKER_02 19:52

I saw Paramour with Fallout Boy.

SPEAKER_01 19:54

Yeah. What how did I not find that when I was socials? I had no idea.

SPEAKER_02 19:58

Oh my god. I don't think I posted much about it. It was Fallout Boy and Paramour. Incredible show. So good. Probably one of the best concerts I've been to, like, hands down.

SPEAKER_01 20:06

And that was like, wait, that had to be like 2013. Like that's like 2014, yeah. That was like peak Fallout Boy, Paramour, like lore. Oh my god. It was so good. Yeah. Who have you not seen perform live but that you want to?

SPEAKER_02 20:18

Adela. Yeah. There's an artist named Adela. She's up and coming right now. She was on, there's a Netflix show called Popstar Academy. Okay. She was on that. Okay. Uh with like Cat's Eye and all them. And so she's so sick. I'm obsessed with her. I love her. So I would love to see her live. I would love to see. There's an artist named Tiffany Day who does like hyper pop type stuff. Love that. Uh she's really cool. I've seen some videos of her live, and I'm like, I want to see her live. Billie Eilish, I want to see her live.

SPEAKER_01 20:44

She I've seen her live. She's a great show. Dude, it's such a great show. I want to see her live so bad. Something at the Billie Eilish show. I don't know why at the time this didn't trouble me more than it like did. Maybe I was drinking. But like we were at the show. Of course, my sister was there. And we're looking in the crowd, me and my bestie Meg, and I'm like, wait, so like you have to go through security to get into these arenas and they perform at. Everybody was vaping inside. What? And like it was okay. Like no one was coming around being like stop. Like, and it was an indoor like studio. Oh. And I remember like looking at my sister and looking at my bestie Meg, and we were like, why is everybody vaping? Like what is going on? And that was the only show that it's ever been like, okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:23

So weird.

SPEAKER_01 21:24

And I was like, that makes sense for like Billie Eyelish. Like she would be funky.

SPEAKER_02 21:27

Like yeah, she'd be like, anything goes.

SPEAKER_01 21:29

She would be like, I'm gonna pay the fine for all of my girls and gaze up. Yes, like just what a big one. Like, yeah, she wouldn't do that. It was cracking me up. I'm like, this is nuts. And also, I smell like a jewel.

SPEAKER_02 21:39

It was like a jewel, like a bunch of different scents going on at the same time. Totally. Oh, I I feel like I'd have such a headache though.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

No, it was yeah, and it was like overstimulating. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was very overstimulating. And it was also funny enough, it was the night of the Super Bowl. Oh. Like a couple years ago, and it was packed. The arena was filled, completely filled, and half of the people there were dads. And they were all on their phones. And like they were like watching the game. So they didn't even care that their daughters were like smoking their like y'all do what you want. I'm just playing football right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Did you you like boy bands? I mean gathering. Were you a Jonas Brothers?

SPEAKER_02 22:15

I honestly, whenever I was younger, there were a couple other songs I liked. Yeah. Like Burning Up, my childhood best friend and I used to like, she had a pool. So we would go over, I would go over to her house. She lived like three doors down. And well, crazy band may name mentioned, but she was kind of make a joke about that. Okay. It's gonna be like kryptonite. She was your kryptonite. Quite literally, like three houses over. So I would walk over and we would just like hang out in her backyard and sing Jonas Brothers burning up and do like concerts.

SPEAKER_01 22:46

Yeah. Having concerts with your best friends as kids is unlike anything else. I still do it by myself now. Like I will turn off the lights in my basement, I will turn on a crowd on the TV, and I'll get my little karaoke mic and I'll be like, I'm famous. As you should.

SPEAKER_02 22:58

My cousin and I literally used to do like performances for our family. Oh and every kid has that experience, I feel like. Stop it. Like Slave Boots Down House, Miley Cyrus.

SPEAKER_01 23:10

Love it. I think I did the talent show in like second grade and I did like True Friend. Like a dance to True Friend, and like it was my peak moment. I was like, Yeah. Oh my god. So good. I love that. You should cover old school Miley. Like old school pianna in your school. Oh my god, wait, I would love that. I'm like giving you things to do. I like the mental notes. Yes. Um, okay, I want to talk about your name. Okay. Your name is Zoe. Yeah. You spell it so fucking cool. Oh my god, thank you! Did your mom decide that? Did your dad decide that? Is this your stage name?

SPEAKER_02 23:38

So I have a secret. Yeah, it's not my real name.

SPEAKER_01 23:40

No way.

SPEAKER_02 23:41

It's not my real name.

SPEAKER_01 23:42

Your name isn't Zoe.

SPEAKER_02 23:43

My real name is Emily. What? I know. So my real name is Emily. I can explain. So for a little bit. Lily, tell us who you really are. I know. I've my hidden identity is being revealed right now. So I used to go by Emily Cole, which was my first name and half my middle name, which is cool. My real last name is Little, which leads me. Funny story. So, speaking of names, my dad, six foot four. Okay, last name Little, ironically. He goes by his middle name. His middle name is Wayne. Flip Wayne Little. What do you get?

SPEAKER_01 24:10

Oh my god, Lil Wayne.

SPEAKER_02 24:12

So we call him Lil Wayne. I love it. It's incredible. It's a whole inside joke. I love it. Yes. But anyway, so first name's Emily. And then I was like signing things off with like XO a lot. And so I also got diagnosed with autism whenever I was 21. And so it kind of was like this whole new like era for me of just like stepping into like who I am as a person, understanding who I really am. I was like, I feel like I need a rebrand. Like I feel like I'm a new person, I need a new name. So I just put XO in front of some letters of my name at three in the morning, and I was like, oh, this is sick.

SPEAKER_01 24:40

So oh my gosh. Yeah. And it just caught on. Yeah. So you talked about getting diagnosed. And you were how old? 21? 21. Yeah. How how did that impact you?

SPEAKER_02 24:48

Oh my god, it quite literally probably saved my life. Like, because up until then, I don't really talk about this openly like a whole lot, but I want to, so I'm glad that it was brought up. Up until then, I was always like, because I had, like I said, never been in a relationship, and I always felt like I was molding myself to like fit into people that were around me and my surroundings. And so I was like, oh my god, like what's wrong with me? I feel like I'm not like connecting with anybody or like no one likes me. Like, what's wrong with me? Type B, you know what I mean? Yeah. Which of course it's like, oh poor me boo-hoo, but that's just where I was at. Yeah. And then I had I knew this one girl get diagnosed, and she like posted about it, and her and I were really similar. And so I was like, okay, because I also have like sensory issues. I get really bad burnout every time, like time to time. And I was like, okay, if her and I are similar and she got diagnosed with autism, like I wonder if this is something that I should like look into.

SPEAKER_03 25:41

Sure, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:41

And so sure enough, I reached out to her, um, and she gave me like the person who diagnosed her, and then I started doing my own research, and I was like, oh my god, everything that I'm seeing makes so much sense and like aligns with like who I am. And so it probably was like the best thing that ever happened to me. Because like it just made me like more confident in myself, too. Being like, Yeah, I am on the spectrum. Like, even if people like don't believe it, like I know my own struggles in my personal life that like I will probably never show to the public, but like it's like, yeah, I am, and this is something that makes me who I am, and like I'm proud of it, and I own up to it and I own it, and yeah, it just gave me a confidence boost.

SPEAKER_01 26:19

So I think that's so powerful, especially you saying it on this podcast to all the young girls that do listen. Yes, and like maybe they feel like in a similar situation that you did prior to being 21. Oh and like just getting that confidence, like you had a friend, but maybe you're their friend. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 26:33

You know, like and get this the DSM 5 is based, like, I don't remember the exact number, but it was like based on men. So, like, there's no like there's starting to be studies on it now for like women that are like on the spectrum or neurodivergent, like whatever, whether it's ADHD or autism or like OCD, you know, whatever it may be. But it's like the DSM 5 like wasn't made for it's so funny you're talking about this.

SPEAKER_01 26:56

I was just uh talking to my psychiatrist, love that, and my therapist. Hi, Helen. Um, we we were like going through it and she was like, Okay, Taylor, like you like I have very strict like OCD, like I'm a very anxious girl. Me too. And like I get depressed very easily. My listeners are like, we get it, Taylor. We we've heard your Sunday spirals, like you're a fucking mess. But she was saying, like, a lot of young girls, like at a young age, I think I was 17 when I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Yeah, and uh she was like, This like PTSD that you have, this OCD that you have, like a lot of the times, like it is ADHD. Like, we need you, like you should go and take the test just to see, because it's misdiagnosed so much. And I've yet to do it, and I'm I'm excited to do it. Yeah, but it opened up that conversation for me, like with some of my friends too, to be like, okay, like, are you like are you guys like what yeah, like let me try to figure this out and like know my body and not just know what this doctor is telling me. Exactly. Like, and of course, my psychiatrist is a man, so like it's time to switch.

SPEAKER_02 27:56

Yeah, I might wanna, yeah. I've gotten very lucky with like the people that have like helped mirror all woman and like specialize in woman. And like I have a therapist right now. Her name's Caitlyn, she's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 28:05

Hi Caitlin, if you're seeing this, I don't know if she has any of my social media, but I like actively send Helen like these clips and I'm like, I want you to know how much I'm obsessed with you. And now Helen's like, okay, babe, like I love you too, but like I can't say hi to you like in public. I'm like, that will cause trauma for me. What do you mean? I just mean your friend. Literally, literally. I'm like asking her how our kids are, how's your husband? How are your in-laws? I'm like, this is crazy. This is literally crazy. That's awesome. Have you ever made a PowerPoint for your therapist? I okay, so I made this was not an immediate no. This is not an immediate no.

SPEAKER_02 28:41

Um I made a, I printed out, it was probably 10 pages long when I first got diagnosed, like reasons that I think I might be like, and I literally had this whole entire like pamphlet basically, like ready to love it. And I was like, I have done my due diligence of looking into my brain and things, and like I can present the reasons why I think I might be.

SPEAKER_01 29:05

And I'm You're so funny. I love that. You were like, I did my homework?

SPEAKER_02 29:08

I did my homework, and I'm not even kidding you. And sometimes I question, I'm like, am I really? And then I A, have sensory issues in private, and then B, remember whenever I walked into the building for the first time to the woman who diagnosed me back in Texas, I walked into the building, it was raining outside. And I guess I was like, I don't even know what I was doing, but like I I hate the feeling of rain. I think it's sticky, cannot stand it. Like I can't I just can't do rain. Like I have to throw on a jacket even if it's 80 degrees outside. I will be hood and all, going into the store, not making sure rain doesn't get on me. Sure. But so I walk into the building, and at the end of it, because my parents were there as well. At the end of it, my parents are like, So do we think that you know this is like a thing? And my the lady was like, I could tell just by the way she walked into this building that she was on the spectrum. I was like, Wow, what she was like, Yeah, it's just like your manner mannerisms and like just the way you were like stood and like the way you interested interacted. I was like, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 30:06

So fascinating, so enlightening that like someone was able to clock it, like that, you know? Yeah, wow, yeah. So we talk a lot, we name drop a lot on this podcast. I love it. Um, I know you I knew you what the tea went. I love the tea. So I have two questions for you. Okay. Who was the nicest celebrity you've ever met or worked with? Who is the worst? Oh the worst, we can also bleep it out. Like, okay, no worries if you sign shit, because like we all sign NDAs here. It's fine.

SPEAKER_02 30:34

Oh my god. Honestly, what celebrities have I ever met? I think, okay, there hasn't really been a worst.

SPEAKER_01 30:44

Oh, that's so refreshing.

SPEAKER_02 30:46

Yeah, I think everyone that I've gotten to meet has been extremely nice. Okay. Um, there's okay. I recorded my first studio album at Beyonce's dad's studio. Oh yeah, I was very lucky. The people that I was surrounded with, they were they were cool. Um, so my producer was working out of Matthew Knowles' studio, and so and I was like 13 at the time. So I went into a session, it was like my first or second session there, and Matthew Knowles just walks in and he's like, Hey, like, show me your stuff. Oh my god, oh my god. Yeah, so Beyonce's literal father, I was like so nervous. I was so nervous, and he did point out he was like, um, of course, I like cried, but he was like, he was like, you know, I think he like kind of got on to like the guy I was working with. He was like, she she doesn't like she's young, like these are songs that are like should be for someone older than her, like she hasn't experienced any of this stuff. Because I was like starting to write songs about like guys and stuff where sure I didn't have that experience, you know what I mean? So I couldn't really connect with the lyric at all.

SPEAKER_01 31:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:48

And so he just kind of made that observation, but of course I was like so nervous, and I think it was also like not to bring it back to autism thing, but like I was so like masking, you know what I mean? And so it's like I was like, oh my god, I was overwhelmed too. Yeah, so I like you know, obviously got like extremely emotional. But no, he was a nice guy though. I will say that character, but nice guy. Um, and then I this is crazy, this is crazy. Drake Bell. Okay, insane, insane. I did this thing called High School Nation Tour back in 2017, I think was the year that I did just one day of it, and then I did it again in 2019. But 2017, I just made like a one-day like stop with them, and Drake Bell was like the headliner, and so basically I like so random like open for Drake Bell and I have like a selfie with him.

SPEAKER_01 32:34

That is wild, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:35

And like he wasn't like we didn't really have like a conversation or anything, but he was just kind of there, you know.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

He was infamous, I say infamously, but no one ever remembers this. He was on this diving show, like on ABC where like these celebrities would go on and like learn how to dive, like high dive. And I remember watching him being like, this is like what he's doing with his life. Like, that's so interesting. You know what I mean? And since then, like he's been isn't is he even canceled? I don't know. I don't know anything about drain.

SPEAKER_02 33:01

I don't know either. I didn't really keep up with it. I know something happened to do with Nickelodeon. I have no idea.

SPEAKER_01 33:06

I don't I don't keep up with the movie. I don't know, you know.

SPEAKER_02 33:09

I don't either. I uh I don't have the time.

SPEAKER_01 33:12

I literally.

SPEAKER_02 33:12

You get it, like I get it, yes, the whole entertainment. I'm too busy stalking you. No, I'm and I'm too busy stalking you.

SPEAKER_01 33:18

I love this for us.

unknown 33:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 33:21

Um, this is the perfect time for me to say thank you to another one of our sponsors, the Big Drag Bus Nashville is sponsoring this whole Nashville series. We love them. I also want to say hi to Happenstance Whiskey, a 100% owned female whiskey brand. We love it. You said you don't drink. I don't. Have you ever had whiskey?

SPEAKER_02 33:39

I have.

SPEAKER_01 33:40

And do you like it or do you not like it?

SPEAKER_02 33:42

I honestly, is fireball considered whiskey? Is fireball whiskey? Sean, yes.

SPEAKER_01 33:46

Producer Sean says yes. Okay. It was my 22nd birthday. Why is it everyone's 22nd birthday when they like overdo it on the fireball? Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 33:54

No, that's literally all I drank for my 22nd birthday. Yes. It was terrible. Blacked out. I can I no cinnamon now. I'm like I'm not even kidding you. This is what happened. Okay. I'll give you the rundown. I had rainbow hair at the time too. So just envision. This is beautiful. Me with like somewhat pastel rainbow hair, okay, and like all get up, you know what I mean? And we go out to where I'm from in Montgomery, it's like 30 minutes from a town called the Woodlands, and they have like a river lake thing in the woodlands, and there's like the woodlands water. The hall, okay. You know, literally the whole thing. And so I was like, oh my god, I want to go out to a woodlands waterway for my birthday with like you know, all my friends back home. So we go, and well, I get to my friend's house first, and they have a bucket of fireball. Okay. So I'm like, I've seen those buckets 1999.

SPEAKER_01 34:45

Yup at the local line.

SPEAKER_02 34:47

Yes! So there was one of those, and so I was like, okay, we're starting early, got it, amazing. So drank a couple at the house, and we go to a waterway. We stuffed a handful of them because we were all wearing like high boots. We stuffed a handful of them into our boots and brought them into the Mexican food restaurant that we were eating at before we went out. Okay. So we're at the Mexican food restaurant. I'm already drunk at this point, so I'm like, literally, there's a video of me, I will never forget this of like there was like a giant like pillar thing next to where I was sitting, and I I don't know why, but I like hung on to it and I was like swinging around, I was like, whoa! And I was like going like behind it, like doing some like hide and seek type beat. Love it. I don't even know, but it was a whole thing. So yeah, then we literally went to the bathroom, took more fireball shots. Uh, long story short, I was blackout by the time it was like four in the morning, and we went home. And I will never forget, we were driving on the highway, and I look at my friends and I say, I think I'm gonna throw up.

SPEAKER_01 35:44

You made it till 4 a.m. though, babe. That's impressive. Thank you. That's impressive.

SPEAKER_02 35:47

Like thank you so much. I'm really proud of myself. I I can hold up if I and this is why you don't drink anymore. Exactly, exactly. One of the many reasons why I am sober, basically. Um wow. Literally, I will never forget. I'm sitting in the back seat. I'm in the middle though. No, for some reason, I didn't throw up in the car, but for some reason, because we were on the freeway, they literally just pull off onto the side of the freeway. Okay, so we're like here, and there's all these oncoming cars at 75 miles per hour, literally like 10 feet away from me, and they let me lean over the side closest to the cars. And so I my head was literally like less than 10 feet away from cars going 75 miles per hour, and I was just throwing up.

SPEAKER_01 36:29

You know, like those truck drivers that night, like the couple dads that were going to pick up their kids from like parties were like going on.

SPEAKER_02 36:37

Like, what do not do as I did? This is what I am so do not do as I did. But that was the last time I had a fireball.

SPEAKER_01 36:45

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 36:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:46

That's very traumatic.

SPEAKER_02 36:48

It is, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:48

Yeah, that's a very traumatic thing. Um, I don't I don't even know what to say to that. Besides, I'm like really sorry that happened ago. It's okay. Were your friends like Zoe, Emily? Emily, were you okay?

SPEAKER_02 36:59

I yeah. They were they were also drunk, but not as drunk as me. Do your friends call you Zoe or did they call you Emily? My friends back home call me Emily. Um but new friends call you Zoe. New friends call me Zoe. Friends I make like through music specifically call me Zoe. Zoe, okay. Yeah. So and I I don't really have a preference. I'm like, I'm both.