The Summer House Defense Fund

Amanda Batula deserves a public defender and unfortunately that public defender is me.

This week I'm breaking down the second half of the Summer House reunion, why everyone seems determined to blame Amanda for everything, why West failed the assignment, and why I have some thoughts about Kyle Cooke that may or may not get me yelled at online.

Plus: friendship audits, Taylor Swift getting introduced as Travis Kelce's "girlfriend", a stranger being rude to my dog, and a reminder that women somehow keep getting blamed for things they didn't start.

Welcome to The Amanda Batula Defense Fund.


👚 50% off Rent The Runway: https://www.renttherunway.com/?utm_source=affiliate&utm_medium=cirqle&utm_campaign=taylor____brooke&utm_term=575025-6198 
💚 Support the Pod: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2550540/support
🎙️ Recorded at: https://westchesterstudios.co/
📲 Follow along / stalk politely: https://www.instagram.com/taylor____brooke/ 

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

SPEAKER_03 0:19

All content featured on the Taylor Taylor Taylor show is intended for entertainment purposes only. All stories discussed herein are based on alleged events and personal opinions. Nothing shared should be taken as back to professional advice. Any viewpoints expressed are solely those of host and do not represent any business or organizations.

SPEAKER_02 0:34

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome back to the Taylor Taylor Taylor Show, the show where we talk about things three times until they make sense. I'm your host, I'm Taylor Brooke, and little gremlins, do we have a very special bonus episode for you? And by we, I mean me. I'm a woman of the people and I'm doing this for you. Summer House came out this week. We saw episode two of the reunion, and I have thoughts. Of course, I have thoughts. I have so many thoughts about all of this, and all of them are controversial and contrarian. So buckle up, get seated, or if you're in your car, try not to swerve or crash when you're listening to this. But we're gonna start out with Lindsay's comment about West being pathy. Okay, let's talk about it. Pathy is what we're calling pathological liars now. Question mark? Don't know. I did love that. That was like my little segment in the beginning where I was like, this reunion is going to be so fucking good. Part two and three. Haven't gotten to part three yet. That's next week. But I loved that comment on behalf of Lindsay. Also, when Lindsay called a break, when she looked at Andy Cohen and was like, okay, I think it's time for us to break. And Andy was like, Yeah, let's take a like a 10-minute break here. That was so funny. She's running the show. This show would be nothing without Lindsay Hubbard. With that said, does she bother me a little bit sometimes when she just like keeps injecting and keeps feeding this fire? Yes, a little bit. So I understand where some of the little gremlins are a little bit annoyed with her, but I think that Lindsay Hubbard is single-handedly carrying in the city, and she's carrying this whole summer house reunion. Now let's talk about the things that I didn't like. And guys, I made I made notes. I made notes. Okay. West didn't go after Amanda. She got upset, she was crying, there were a couple tears coming down of her kilonopin-induced face, and he didn't go after her. And then when they were like, get up, go after your girl. West, go after your girl, get up. My thought process was, why isn't Kyle going after her? No, that's not her man anymore. Her man is West. Why aren't you getting up, following your girl out of the reunion, and going to the what makeup lounges, whatever they are, the B the B rooms, the green rooms. I work in this fucking industry. I should know the terminology by now. Didn't like that. And then when Lindsay was like, go check on Amanda, and West was like, What? So I can get up and then you can say you guys both walked out of the reunion. Come on, dude. Someone shouldn't have to tell you to go check on your girlfriend. Especially her ex-husband. When he was like, No, West, go and check on her. That's when West like finally got up and went and checked on her. Didn't co-sign on that, didn't love it. But then again, I don't co-sign or really like men at all. So it's no surprise that I'm Team Amanda. Now let me saying Team Amanda is actually kind of crazy, but this is my soap box. This is me standing on it, and this is me just saying how I feel from the bottom of my heart. Everyone is ganging up on this girl. And I I hesitate to use this in like an aggressive fashion or like even throw this word around like nonchalantly, but Amanda's a victim of abuse for the past 10 years on Summer House. Okay, let that sink in. The way that Kyle talked to her, the way that Kyle treated her last summer, the summer before, the summer before that. I'm sorry, but if my man were out sleeping at fans' houses and there were videos of him making out with random girls all over the internet, I wouldn't have sex with him for seven years either. Okay? Okay. So, like, let's get rid of this narrative that Kyle is an amazing guy. Kyle's so fucking great. Oh my god, Kyle's amazing. Yeah, Kyle seems like a great friend, and I would love to hang out with Kyle. Kyle Cook, hit me up. Your team, hit me up. Listen, the way that we're justifying his behavior, the way that we're justifying the way that he said, fuck you, to Amanda across the dinner table with rage in his eyes is actually fucking crazy. We should all be very, very, very embarrassed that we're defending the actions of this man because this girl, after they broke up, after they broke up, decided to date someone in their friend group. Fucking spare me. That is ridiculous. I think that us hating on Amanda so much is it's it's despicable. And I hate it and I don't like it. And I get a lot of heat on threads for saying this stuff, and I don't care. I don't co-sign on women hating other women to this extent. When Sierra said, yeah, like I just didn't really understand Kyle's perspective, and I just like didn't realize like what he was going through, like behind the scenes, so yeah, like I apologized to Kyle. You apologize to Kyle when he was actively treating one of your friends like absolute shit for the past 10 years. No. No, I don't like, and I love Sierra, and I love Sierra, I like Amanda. I'm not over here picking sides, you know. I'm not Team Sierra versus Team Amanda. Let's like hate on West. That's what I'm not understanding. Even Kyle had to stick up for Amanda at one point and be like, okay, Sierra, like that was a little far calling her weak. Like that made me feel uncomfortable too. Yeah. Uh, yeah, you guys are all coming at the girl. Have we learned nothing? Have we learned nothing from history at all? The whole history of man, they always blame the woman. I mean, we can bring it back to like Greek tragedies. Everybody always blames the woman. Men start wars, yet Troy hates Helen. That's amazing, Peter's line, actually, and that fit very well here. So I am not okay with how the reunion has gone so far. I also don't like that we didn't see Levi like at all. And then she comes in for a hot second, and then Andy's like, bye Levi, thanks for being here. Like it was so nice to meet you. And then she just like saunters off in her beautiful green dress. Big fan. I love Levi. Um, that's also because like offline we're like real life friends outside of the show. But she's authentic and I love her, and I think her and Bailey are like the only gonna are going to be the only cruxes of next season. With that, oh, I don't care who hugs Ben. Why are we like when they were like, Ben, tell us about your relationship with Sabrina? And he was like, Well, my dad never hugged me as a child, and Sabrina visited my hometown and she hugged my dad every morning and night, and then on the last day, my dad hugged me. I don't give a fuck. I don't know why we kept that in the reunion. Who cares? Who cares if your dad hugs you, Ben? No one even likes you. Even Bailey doesn't like you, and Bailey likes everyone. That's embarrassing. You're embarrassing. Get on a different franchise, get off my fucking screen. Also, when when Kyle said fuck you, dumbass bitch to Amanda, we glossed over that. We completely glossed over that because it was not said at the dinner table. It was said in their bedroom or in the bathroom, wherever they were. And she was like, Yeah, I'm a dumbass bitch, Kyle. And then she like walked past West all angrily. It was like, okay, that's still not okay. I don't know how we're justifying this. It's getting me so riled up and uncomfortable. And I think that maybe in like five to seven years, when we reach like some other thing to be pissed off or annoyed about, and like some other big thing happens in pop culture, we're gonna look back and we're gonna say, Oh my god, I cannot believe the way that we treated this woman. Cause if I were Amanda, I would be 10 steps from jumping off the side of a building right now. Mental health is like a real thing. And the way that she was at their reunion, completely stonefaced. Like, girl took a couple kilonopins, took a couple too many kilonopens, maybe she popped in edible. We've all been there. We've all been there. But the one single tear like rolling down her cheek was iconic. And I think the half bun ponytail thing, isn't that like ugly? I kind of like it. I should have put my hair like that for the pod today and just see what you guys thought. Uh so I'm gonna get a lot of he first sticking up for Amanda, but I actually don't give a fuck because I do not co-sign on being mean to moon, being mean to other women on the internet. I don't. I also don't co-sign on people being mean to my dog. This happened to me yesterday. I was driving. This is gonna be such a complaining episode, and I don't care. I love them. I was driving yesterday. I had my poodle in the back. She's a standard black poodle. She's so cute. Her name is Kenzie. So she's in the backseat, she's got her seatbelt on, I got the windows down. I'm going up the road. I live 30 seconds from my mom's house. We're going up the road so she can run in the yard, play by the pool. So she's got her head out the window. She's loving life. She's just being a kid. Then I'm at a red light. There's one red light in between our homes. I'm at a red light. And it turns green. And then three seconds later, beep beep. There's a beep behind me. And it was an aggressive beep. It wasn't like a cute little even a Honda Civic has a cute beep. Beep, beep. No, it was like beep beep. And Kenzie freaked. She was not happy. She was scared. She's a rescue. And I was so intensely irritated because why would you beep and scare my dog? So I drove three miles an hour the rest of the way, the rest of the 30 seconds, just because this woman was behind me. So like that's just something I don't do. If I am in my car and someone pisses me off that's ahead of me, they're going so slow or they cut me off or something, and there's a dog in the car, I'm not gonna beep. I'm not going to beep. That's mean. That's mean spirited. That's even more mean-spirited than like beeping when someone has like a baby sticker on the back of their car. I don't give a fuck about your kid. Care more about your dog. Now that we're talking about kids and dogs, I do need to talk about my friendships recently. I've made some executive decisions in my group of friends. And we all know I have five friends. Count them. One, two, three, four, five. We got five friends in Taylor, Taylor, Taylor camp. I'm not shrinking the group any smaller because we don't need to do that. We've already made eliminations and the elimination round is done. But what I have done is the bench, the bench, the outliers in the front group, I've cut them down. So we have the five core friends, and then the rest of the bench, we're cutting down. Because you know what I'm learning in my ripe age of 29 years old is that I do not have the emotional capacity for people in my life that make me nervous. Let me elaborate. If you are a friend and you're consistently bringing your problems relationship-wise, work-wise, kid-wise, dog-wise, cat, whatever it is, if you're consistently bringing me problems that I feel like I have to solve as your friend, we're done. We're done. I'm not bringing that energy into my life anymore. I love a lost cause. I love a lost cause. I love someone that's like, I don't have any family, or like everybody hates me for some reason. I'm like, yes, come into my life. Let me love you. No, not anymore. Because I feel fucked over every single time I do that. Because then people stop needing you and then they just poof and then they disappear. And I don't like that. So if you're wondering why you haven't heard from me in a while, it's probably because I cut your ass off and it's gonna stay that way. Not accepting new friends, not accepting people on the bench. You gotta go. You gotta go. Let's talk about Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift. They went to a Knicks game, question mark Knicks. Maybe it was a basketball game. People were bouncing the ball. Michael Jordan wasn't there. Okay. We need that still. That still is gonna be the thumbnail of this video for sure. Um, they were at a basketball game and the announcer, I don't know who the announcer was, so please forgive me. Producer Nate, look up who the announcer was at this game. He could be famous. We'll tag him in this. He said, and tonight, who is here? Is Travis Kelsey and his girlfriend? Sir, that girlfriend, one fiance, to make that little asterisk. Two, that's Taylor fucking Swift, you you loser. What? How how talented and decorated do you have to be as a woman to get your name first? She's Taylor Swift. And they were like, yeah, Travis Kelsey and his girlfriend. That is so fucking funny and awful, and I hate everything about it. Have we found out who the producer was?

SPEAKER_00 12:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:32

Or who the announcer was?

SPEAKER_00 12:33

Yeah, and it was a famous basketball player, too, Richard Jefferson. He's now a uh uh play-by-play.

SPEAKER_02 12:40

Hey Richard Jefferson. Hi, hi, I'm Taylor. Next time you say, hey, Travis Kelsey's here with his girlfriend, get it right, it's his fiance. Two, that's Taylor fucking Swift. Do you not have a wife, daughters? Do you not know any women? Maybe he doesn't know women, maybe he just doesn't know any women in general. So that bothered me. The second part that bothered me was the fact that Travis Kelsey took the beer and chugged it. I'll tell you what. One, if I'm ever at a basketball game sitting courtside, one, call my mom because someone needs to come get me. Call my best friend. Call someone in my life. Call my dad. Someone needs to come get your girl because I don't know why the fuck I'm at a basketball game to begin with. Second of all, if my husband is given a beer and then he stands up and chugs it for everyone, I would politely say, Hey, babe, hey, babe. We know we're not still in a frat, right? This is not pie lam. No, sir. We are in our 30s, and you're not chugging a beer on the basketball court. That is embarrassing. That is embarrassing. And she was embarrassed, and I'm embarrassed for her. Uh also, it's a good time to bring up that Travis Kelsey reminds me of one of those cigarettes that you snap and then they become menthol. He reminds me of a menthol cigarette, and I don't know what it is, but he reminds me of it. The World Cup is in Philadelphia. Let's talk about that. The World Cup is soccer, and I bought a soccer ball the other day, and it's the same color as this amazing blazer, which you can actually get. Here's a quick caveat. So this blazer fits me, it's a vibe. I think it really encompasses my personality, and I got it from Rent the Runway. You may be thinking, Taylor, what is Rent the Runway? Rent the Runway is where you can rent designer pieces. You get five pieces a month, and you get to pick out your sizes, they do bags, they do earrings, they also do blazers, dresses, pants, matching sets, cohorts, the whole nine yards. They do it all, and you get to pick out five pieces every month. If you want 50% off your first month, you just have to use promo code RTRX TaylorBrook. RTRX Taylor Brook. Rent the runway. I'll also put the link in this episode's description because I'm a woman of the people and I'm trying to get nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize at some point in my life. And this is just the next step: affiliate marketing. Um, so we talked about Taylor Swift, we talked about Travis Kelsey, now we need to talk about the World Cup. I bought a soccer ball. As a child, I really thought that there was potential for me in soccer because I played one time and I was because I played once. One time, and I was like kind of good at it, I think. But also I'm not a sporty girl. So I'm gonna try to learn a little bit of soccer before the World Cup, maybe get some content, get some videos. You guys can tell me how if I'm, you know, what is it, like your form? That sort of thing, if I'm doing it right. I think you have to kick with the side of your foot, though. That's the thing. Gotta kick with the side, not the not the front. I wanna do one of those things where like you kick the ball up and then it hits your knee and then you kick it again. That's what I want to do. I don't know what that's called, but I'm gonna call it the tailor. And then that'll be my signature move on the soccer field. On the soccer court. Court? Field?

SPEAKER_01 15:36

The pitch.

SPEAKER_02 15:37

A pitch?

SPEAKER_01 15:38

On the pitch.

SPEAKER_02 15:39

It's called on the pitch. Okay, I I retracted all of my statements before. That's the d dumbest thing I've ever heard. The pitch? The pit? The pitch. It sounds like it would be a baseball term, actually. It is my eyes are rolling to the back of my head. You know, okay, I'm gonna talk about baseball too. Baseball is one of those things that like I feel like everybody knows a baseball player. Let me elaborate. Everyone, men do this a lot. Men do this all the time. So you know how like if you're talking to a girlfriend of yours and you're like, oh, do you watch the ultimatum reality show? Do you watch The Pit? It's like on fucking ABC or something, and then someone's like, Oh my god, my best friend's younger sister's brother was actually an extra on that show. And you're like, Okay, Brenda, I actually don't give a fuck, and nobody in this group does. Men do this all the time, but sometimes they actually care. And they do it a lot with baseball players. They'll be like, oh my god, you know, give me a second, let me think of a baseball player. You know, Rob Holliday. Was he a baseball player?

SPEAKER_01 16:46

Uh it was Roy, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:48

Yeah, sure, Roy Holiday. So say it's Roy Holiday, and you're like, oh my god, he's great, he's a great batter on on the Phillies. Say that's what it was. Okay, so Roy Holiday, he's a great batter on the Phillies. There is always one man in the group that'll be like, Well, you know, Roy's ex-girlfriend's third cousin's little daughter from Vietnam is my neighbor. And you're like, who gives a fuck, Chad? No one cares. But there's always one man that has that story about a baseball player, a football player. Oh my god, you know that football player, that guy's little sister's best friend's ex lived next to my mom. And you're like, no one cares. No one cares. Nobody cares. I'm so sick of that. Oh my god, the amount of meaning than calls, and just in people in life that have been like, oh, and this person knows this person. I don't care. And no one and at this table, no one else cares either. We're all just being polite, we're all just nodding our heads, going, that is so cool. It's like when someone's when someone asks you, oh, you went to this school, do you know this person? And you sit and you're like, no, I don't. Or if you do know the person, you're like, oh my god, Amanda's so nice. I really like her. And then you get in your car later and you're like, fuck Amanda, she's such a piece of shit, and I can't stand her. That's the same energy it gives. I hate that. I also hate small talk. That's something else to be noted. I've been having to do a lot of small talk recently. You jump on a call and you're the first one on, and you have to be like, where are you from? What's the weather like in your town today? I don't care. I don't care. And I know damn well that you don't care how the weather is in Philadelphia. We're all just making conversation. Speaking of like talking to people from different lands, I talked to some I've talked to a lot of people from Canada recently, and I'm changing my my whole frame of mind on that. I think they might be on to something in the great white north because they're really nice. Every Canadian I've talked to recently has been very kind. They don't look like the South Park characterization of them. They don't have the slinted eyes, which is crazy. I thought perhaps they would, but I've been really, really, really into my Canadian cohorts lately. They've been really cool and kind, and it's making me think that maybe I'll go to Montreal. I was thinking about Toronto, but Toronto's on like the other side, I think. I think it's gonna take longer to get there. And Montreal is like the French portion, and you can like drive there. I'm thinking of driving there. I don't know, we'll see. Maybe not. Maybe this is just a fever dream and I'll get over it in like 48 hours. But I've had a lot of recent luck with Canadians and I'm a big fan. Am I using people first in language with that Canadians? People who are from Canada? That's probably what I should be saying. Oh, here we go. Another tirade. Okay, let me tell you about the question I'm getting so often these days. Hi, Taylor. Oh my god, it's so good to see you. What do you do for work? I'm a podcaster, I'm an entertainer, I work in entertainment, I have a media company. I say one of those things. Oh, really? How do you make money? Brenda, let me say this for you, for me, for every other entrepreneur out there. That is none of your goddamn business. Don't ask somebody else how they make their money. That is so tacky. To count other people's money for them is tacky, but to look at me dead in the eyes and say, oh, how do you make money from that? How do you make money working at JP Morgan? They're probably like uh I'm a banker, Taylor. And I don't know. I also like don't uh let's back that up. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna make an enemy with JP Morgan. I actually know nothing about JP Morgan, but I know Sonia Morgan from the Raw Housewives of New York, and she married Morgan, and then they got divorced, so maybe they're not that great. Was there a knock on the door?

unknown 20:26

It's like the song for a different dude.

SPEAKER_02 20:29

I was like, who wants to be on the show? Are we are we bringing in the masses here at Westchester Studios? I also want to bring up a Westchester Studios moment. Um, it has been confirmed, I'll put the screenshots here, that the engineers at Westchester Studios have a Grand Royale duel to see who gets to engineer my podcast every time I come in. And I think that's beautiful. I really think that's beautiful. Um, if you're looking to film within the Philadelphia area, KOP, anywhere around here, hit up Westchester Studios. I drop their link in the episode description every time. So if you're wondering where we record, that's where we record. If you're trying to stalk me, you could probably find me here. So there's that. I also want to talk about dirty martinis. They've gotten a bad reputation from me recently in the past year because martinis make me mean. It's a known fact. I'm very big into the self-awareness portion of life. I think that I do a pretty good job with that. I'm self-aware that when I have a martini, I'm not nice. And it's not like I know I'm not being nice, it's more like people will say, Hey Taylor, how do you feel about this? No, they won't. No one ever says that. Usually they're just talking, and I'm like, actually, I fucking hate that, and I think you're stupid for doing that, and I don't like you, and I didn't like your mom, and I'm just mean to everybody. But I'm having a resurgence of the dirty martinis. We're talking stateside, we're talking a little bit of vermouth, we're talking blue cheese olives and a nice swirl. And let me tell you, it hits different. And I think what I'm doing differently with the dirty martinis now than I had been prior is I'm making them bitch session nights. I'm not going into the night saying I'm gonna have a good night and like things are gonna be good. I'm bitching. I'm having a gossip session. Tonight, I'll be having an extra dirty martini with blue cheese olives with my best friend Kennedy because it's a bitching session. We're gonna just talk and gossip. If I want to have a good night with my husband and have a good date night, I'm not having a dirty martini because we will fight. And by we will fight, it will be me crying about something that never happened or something that might happen. And then he's asking, Are you okay? And I'm like, Why are you yelling at me? He's like, No, no, no one's yelled. You you've been yelling for 44 and a half minutes, Taylor. I'm about to call your mom. So there's the thing. My mom's also like had a dirty martini a couple times here and there. She likes them, but she's not as big into them as I am. Actually, my husband's grandfather is getting into dirty martinis, and I really think that's gonna be a turning point in the whole relationship of my me and my step-grandfather, grandfather-in-law, grandfather-in-law, a pop-in-law? A pop-in-law! I kind of like the way that sounds. I'm gonna trademark that. Hallmark, call me, because that's gonna be a nice thing for your cards. Pop-in-law. I actually there was a movie back in the day, I think it was like Jason Bateman, maybe, and he like played a greeting card maker. Like he wrote greeting cards. Do we remember that movie? I think it was Jason Bateman. It was someone that like he just looked like a typical white man and he had brown hair, and he like wrote greeting cards, and that was his job. And as a child, I thought someone's job is to make greeting cards, and now it's probably Chat GPT.

SPEAKER_01 23:30

It's not Mr. Deeds, was it? I don't know. Adam Sandler?

SPEAKER_02 23:34

Maybe.

SPEAKER_01 23:35

Because he did, he was, he was, he wanted, he aspired to be a greeting card writer, but he never was actually no.

SPEAKER_02 23:41

This guy was a greeting card writer, and he was oh, and it was sympathy. That was his yeah, and he was a sympathy card constructor. I don't know, but that's probably ChatGBT now. Or Claude. I've tried Claude, all the creative girls out there, you're like, try Claude, you're gonna love it. And it's okay. It's okay. Also, let me, I was in a meeting, and this girl, she was really nice, by the way. So, like, if you are watching this, this girl, you were really nice, and I enjoyed our time together. The one thing I didn't love was I asked about AI, and they were like, the environment. Like, I have a soul, I'm not gonna use it. And I was like, okay, this is where we differ, babe. I have no moral compass, I have no moral direction, and I actually will use AI. I was a big fan of global warming up until like two years ago when it stopped getting fucking warm and started getting cold. Don't co-sign on it anymore. I don't like it. All the environmentalists are like dying in their seats right now. They're crashing their cars, they're jumping. Actually, they probably don't care. They probably don't listen to this podcast. Although I am trying to market it as a health and wellness podcast just to like get the downloads. I think it would be funny as fuck if we got to like number four on Apple and it was like health and wellness therapy podcasts, the Taylor, Taylor, Taylor show. We help you make the decision to jump off the bridge. It's gonna get axed by my legal team. Um, with all of that, I hope you all have a great fucking week. And I I hope that this was everything that you ever needed it to be on your Friday. And I hope you woke up this morning and you were like, thank God! Thank you, G-O-D, capital G God, for Taylor Brooke, for having this podcast, for talking, and for being my internet friend. Because that's what I wake up every Friday, and I think for you guys, I think I'm so lucky to have you little gremlins in my life, and I genuinely am serious about that. It sounds sarcastic, but I'm not. Thank you so much for listening to the Taylor Taylor Taylor show. We're gonna be back next Tuesday with a very special guest, and we're gonna talk more on reality TV. I know, shocker. I'll see you guys next Tuesday. Bye, little gremlins.