Tales of Ferret-Legging, Bob Ross, & Rum with Dave Cruise

Dave Cruise returns to the show and somehow we end up discussing ferret leggings, Bob Ross, rum before noon, Sydney Sweeney, birthdays, adoption, celebrity culture, and several other topics that probably should not exist in the same conversation.

What starts as a normal catch-up quickly turns into one of the most chaotic episodes of the season. No agenda. No structure. Just two friends following every questionable thought to its natural conclusion.

Grab a drink and enjoy the spiral.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:19

All content featured on the Taylor Taylor Taylor show is intended for entertainment purposes only. All stories discussed herein are based on alleged events and personal opinions. Helping shared should be taken as bagged with professional advice. Any viewpoints expressed are solely those of host and do not represent any business or organizations.

SPEAKER_03 0:34

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome back to the Taylor Taylor Taylor Show, the show where we say things three times until they make sense. And today we have back by popular demand Dave Cruz.

SPEAKER_02 0:46

Is it really popular demand?

SPEAKER_03 0:47

I mean, our episodes are like the highest-grossing ones. People like it when we talk.

SPEAKER_02 0:51

They do like because there's really no plan. This time I brought I brought nothing but the thoughts in my head. And I'm pretty sure that index card is blank.

SPEAKER_03 0:59

It's always blank. Yeah. It's a pro- I mean, I do have a sticky note on it this time, and the sticky note says one thing. Are you ready?

SPEAKER_02 1:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:07

Ferret legging.

SPEAKER_02 1:08

It says who?

SPEAKER_03 1:09

Ferret legging. Do you know what that is?

SPEAKER_02 1:11

I don't know it. No. Like ferret, like the animal?

SPEAKER_03 1:13

Yeah, like the animal. Remember mutton busting?

SPEAKER_02 1:15

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:16

How could we forget? Obviously, yeah. Can't forget about mutton busting. There's a thing called ferret legging where it developed in Yorkshire, England, where men put ferrets in their pants. And you have to be the man that has the ferret in their pants the longest. And the ferret has to have all 34 teeth.

SPEAKER_02 1:35

So does it do some chewing?

SPEAKER_03 1:37

Yeah. And you have to how long how's the point of doing this?

SPEAKER_02 1:40

Just to show that you're the manliest man? It's a challenge. You won't be after the ferret's done.

SPEAKER_03 1:44

It's a challenge. They like the challenge. How long do you think it has been the longest that someone has held the ferret in their pants?

SPEAKER_02 1:52

Did the ferret die?

SPEAKER_03 1:53

Yeah, I guess so.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

What if the ferret like slips through the back, like like past the taint into the back area and wants to like look for a new home?

SPEAKER_03 2:00

That that has happened. And then they have to give themselves medication or they have to forfeit the competition. So like bad things do happen, but we should be more concerned about the ferrets than the men. The men are stupid. The ferrets. Who?

SPEAKER_02 2:13

PETA.

SPEAKER_03 2:13

PETA. I thought you said Peter. I was like, who is Peter?

SPEAKER_02 2:16

And Peter. He makes a lot of bad decisions.

SPEAKER_03 2:19

God damn. I'm always very surprised that PETA hasn't reached back out to this podcast in general. Because we say a lot of stuff that PETA would not love.

SPEAKER_02 2:27

There's a lot of places that should be shutting down this podcast.

SPEAKER_03 2:30

That's really true.

SPEAKER_02 2:31

Back to the opening where it we say uh what'd you say it say it three times until it makes sense? Shouldn't it be uh say it three times and still might not make sense?

SPEAKER_03 2:41

I kind of like that. Maybe we alter it. Saying it three times and it still doesn't make sense.

SPEAKER_02 2:46

Uh I also have to say last time I was on the pod, I don't know if people noticed, but I was wearing a black shirt and you could see I was it was uh like on top of the shirt, it was like a sweater of dog hair. So now I'm only wearing light stuff, so you can't tell that I'm covered in dog hair.

SPEAKER_03 2:59

What does it say about me that I edited that podcast and I didn't notice?

SPEAKER_02 3:02

That's the only thing I noticed. Really?

SPEAKER_03 3:03

I don't think I look at you when I edit, I only look at myself.

SPEAKER_02 3:06

That sounds about right.

SPEAKER_03 3:07

It does sound about right. It does. Wait, so do you have my gift? Or did you forget it? So this is so fake. Dave has a fake gift for me.

SPEAKER_02 3:17

So the last pod we did, uh, you hurt my feelings at the beginning by saying that I was an acquaintance and not a friend. But to back you up, two things. Uh, number one, you threw a birthday party for yourself and you scheduled it the only weekend a year that I'm not here. So that would indicate that yeah, we're not friends. And my birthday was a couple days ago, and according to Facebook, 169 friends wished me a happy birthday on Facebook, and you were not one of them. So maybe we are just acquaintances. Despite that, yeah, I brought your present.

SPEAKER_03 3:47

Oh my god, wait, Dave, did I miss your birthday?

SPEAKER_02 3:50

Yeah, it was Monday.

SPEAKER_03 3:51

So wait.

unknown 3:52

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 3:53

I wrapped it too professionally.

SPEAKER_03 3:55

Stop.

SPEAKER_02 3:56

So here's the thing with this present. Uh, I went shopping at a store uh just for my regular stuff, and I saw it and I was like, oh, this has to be Taylor's. So, and I'm pretty sure I'm the only person to ever buy you something from this store. Do you want to know what the store is first, or do you want to open the store? No, tell me the store. Lowe's.

SPEAKER_03 4:13

You went to Lowe's?

SPEAKER_02 4:14

Lowe's Home Improvement.

SPEAKER_03 4:15

Yeah, and I saw this and it's like Lowe's Home Improvement as if I don't know what Lowe's is.

SPEAKER_02 4:19

And who and who knew that they did professional rapping there?

SPEAKER_03 4:22

That is beautiful. Okay, Lowe's.

SPEAKER_02 4:25

You want to shake it a little bit?

SPEAKER_03 4:26

Okay. I like that there's a fake bow. That's like the best part.

SPEAKER_02 4:30

What do you think? Any guesses?

SPEAKER_03 4:33

Is it it sounds like light bulbs?

SPEAKER_02 4:36

Do you need light bulbs? LED or uh I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 4:39

I'd have to ask my dad. My dad knows that.

SPEAKER_02 4:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 4:44

It's Bob Ross. Shut up. A Chia pet! A Bob Ross Chia pet.

SPEAKER_02 4:53

Right? Does that not scream you? How can I walk down the aisle and not go, oh, this is for Taylor.

SPEAKER_03 4:58

Honestly, he kind of looks like me if you really squint. Oh my god, this is awesome.

SPEAKER_02 5:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:04

You know what I think I might do with this? This might be decor. We might bring this to every episode that we film.

SPEAKER_02 5:12

And then see his progress.

SPEAKER_03 5:13

And see his progress. Aw, little Bob. That's so cute.

SPEAKER_02 5:18

Yeah. Happy birthday.

SPEAKER_03 5:19

Thank you so much. Thank you. I think I'm gonna hold him for a little while.

SPEAKER_02 5:22

So is this the only thing anyone's ever got you from Lowe's?

SPEAKER_03 5:24

Yeah. I don't Okay, here's something embarrassing. I used to go to Lowe's to take selfies because of their lighting department.

SPEAKER_02 5:33

Because of all the lights, yeah. It would be a good place for lights. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:36

Uh you said that I missed your birthday. Yeah. I did miss your birthday. But I I didn't miss giving you a gift. Because I got you one.

SPEAKER_02 5:44

The gift of friendship? Yeah, we're best friends now.

SPEAKER_03 5:47

We're not acquaintances anymore. Ready?

SPEAKER_02 5:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:53

It's rum.

SPEAKER_02 5:54

It's rum with a hot lady on it.

SPEAKER_03 5:56

That's that's why Nate said we had to get it. He was like, there's a naked moment on the front of it. We have to get it. And it's made in Pennsylvania, I think. Seriously, yeah? Yep. In Schwankinsville. Three sisters rum. Hey, three sisters. Collab with the pot.

SPEAKER_02 6:09

I feel like it's only appropriate to drink the entire thing and the remaining thing.

SPEAKER_03 6:15

I think what we have to do is we need to open it.

SPEAKER_02 6:18

What would happen if you poured some into the Bob Ross head?

SPEAKER_03 6:20

We don't want to kill Bob Ross. He's already been through it, man.

SPEAKER_02 6:23

He has been through it.

unknown 6:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 6:26

Are you gonna take a swig?

unknown 6:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:30

You drink rum? I thought you were just kind of prosecco, champagne, Miller Light girl. Course light, sorry.

SPEAKER_03 6:38

Oh my god, it does smell like rubbing alcohol. This is beautiful. Um, thank you, three sisters, rum.

SPEAKER_02 6:52

Yeah, I don't like rum.

SPEAKER_03 6:54

Oh my god, I have to have stick on it. Fantastic.

SPEAKER_02 7:01

Oh, and on the back you can't see, it's got pictures of three little half-naked ladies.

SPEAKER_03 7:06

It's getting crazy. This is great. Right?

SPEAKER_02 7:10

Can I save this even after I'm done drinking it?

SPEAKER_03 7:12

It's yours. It's your birthday. Great. There's gonna be a podcast to do that.

SPEAKER_02 7:17

Holy Jesus!

SPEAKER_03 7:19

It is kind of like rubbing alcohol.

SPEAKER_02 7:21

Oh, God.

SPEAKER_03 7:22

Nate, you want to swim? Oh, yeah, you want some? Screw it. Well, Pat, well, that happens.

SPEAKER_02 7:28

That's great.

SPEAKER_03 7:29

Let's go.

SPEAKER_02 7:31

Nothing says to Pod like Bob Ross and some rum.

SPEAKER_03 7:34

And some rum. John, you want some?

unknown 7:36

I'm good.

SPEAKER_02 7:37

Oh, no. It's his birthday tomorrow.

SPEAKER_03 7:40

Your birthday's tomorrow?

SPEAKER_02 7:42

Yeah. You have to have one.

SPEAKER_03 7:44

You have to take some. Well, then this is to you, John. To John.

SPEAKER_02 7:48

Okay, now we all have to do another one on his behalf.

SPEAKER_03 7:50

Yep. You know what's funny? Poor John over here. I did get him vodka on Monday when we recorded. And now I'm coming in here with Rum. Um, John, can I ask you a question?

SPEAKER_02 8:02

Slick.

SPEAKER_03 8:03

It is aggressive. Okay. John, what's your last name?

unknown 8:08

Craig.

SPEAKER_03 8:08

I noticed that via the email. How do you feel about having two last names? Or two first names.

unknown 8:15

Yeah, I've heard it all through my life.

SPEAKER_03 8:19

It's a privilege.

SPEAKER_02 8:20

Kind of like Taylor Brooke.

SPEAKER_03 8:21

Kind of like Taylor Brooke. Can we can we talk about two first names? Yeah. Do you trust people with two first names? No. I don't trust.

SPEAKER_02 8:27

Well, I particularly don't trust their parents.

SPEAKER_03 8:29

That's fair. Yeah. That's fair.

SPEAKER_02 8:31

Because if you have a last, if your last name is a first name, your first name should be a last name.

SPEAKER_03 8:35

I agree with that. Yes. That is the theory that should go around. I don't trust, or Nate said something the other day it was like someone Carol, a football player perhaps. Pete Carroll.

SPEAKER_02 8:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 8:45

Pete Carroll. I don't trust him. I don't trust him.

SPEAKER_02 8:48

What if he marries someone named Carol? Does she have to change her name so she'll be Carol?

SPEAKER_03 8:51

Carol Carroll? Aw. I always thought that like perhaps I would marry someone with the last name Taylor, and then I would get to be Taylor Taylor. I would just change my middle name to Taylor.

SPEAKER_02 9:00

What famous people in with Taylor? James Taylor, but I think he's 100.

SPEAKER_03 9:03

Taylor Lautner.

SPEAKER_02 9:04

No, but that's a first name Taylor.

SPEAKER_03 9:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 9:08

Lawrence Taylor. He's also like 70.

SPEAKER_03 9:12

Yeah. Oh, but that's not a deterrent for me.

SPEAKER_02 9:15

No.

SPEAKER_03 9:15

My second husband will definitely be in his 70s.

SPEAKER_02 9:18

Your first husband is right there.

SPEAKER_03 9:20

I know, he knows. Oh, she represents the right.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

He's drinking the brum.

SPEAKER_03 9:23

He's yeah, no. I've been aware since the day she gave her vows when she referred to me as her first husband in our house.

SPEAKER_02 9:29

Was that in the vows?

SPEAKER_03 9:30

The first thing I said was, you're gonna be a great first husband. And you want to know who laughed the most? His dad.

SPEAKER_02 9:36

Really?

SPEAKER_03 9:37

My husband's dad cracked up, and I thought, I'm gonna really fit in this family. I'm really gonna fit in here.

SPEAKER_02 9:44

Well, I mean, Nate, you knew what you're getting into. I really aware of that.

SPEAKER_03 9:47

That's very true. I did. I wrote the vows that morning, and funny enough, David, you know, David, he edited them and he took out three jokes and said, I want to be honest with you, I think you're really funny. But 9-11 jokes and World War II jokes aren't funny at the altar. And I was like, but I think it's my personality because like half of these people lived through it. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 10:08

And he's like, You're not at helium. Like this is supposed to be.

SPEAKER_03 10:11

Yeah. I I do think helium should book me though.

SPEAKER_02 10:14

I am impressed uh about your vows that you waited till the morning of. I would have spent months writing them and rewriting them and re-editing them.

SPEAKER_03 10:22

Really?

SPEAKER_02 10:23

And ChatGPT. What do you think of what I've written?

SPEAKER_03 10:25

That doesn't surprise me because you take a while on a dating app to send a message.

SPEAKER_02 10:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:30

Like I noticed that you you take a moment, give it a couple iterations, and then you send a message.

SPEAKER_02 10:34

It's not going well. I should just do your theory, just first thing that pops into your head.

SPEAKER_03 10:37

That's what I did at my house.

SPEAKER_02 10:38

Hey, want a dick pic? Send. See what happens.

SPEAKER_03 10:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

Because they're gonna get one anyway, so okay.

SPEAKER_03 10:43

Let's talk about dick pics. Are they requested or do you just send them?

SPEAKER_02 10:48

Is that gonna be the like for every episode do you have the Taylor, Taylor, Taylor show? Let's talk about dick pics. Like that's gonna be this episode title.

SPEAKER_03 10:55

Yeah, let's talk about penis picks.

SPEAKER_02 10:56

Okay, what so your question was what?

SPEAKER_03 10:58

Do you just Do you just send them or do you wait for someone to ask for them?

SPEAKER_02 11:01

I was specifically told in the hallway, I think by your friend Nicole, she yelled, Dave, no unsolicited dick pics.

SPEAKER_03 11:08

Wait, shut up. She did do that.

SPEAKER_02 11:10

I don't know why she would yell that to me, because I did not send her any.

SPEAKER_03 11:14

But dicks. I know, because I would have known about that.

SPEAKER_02 11:17

Yeah, because everyone would have it on it.

SPEAKER_03 11:18

Everybody would have had it, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:19

Uh I think uh, not being expert on dicks, but I think they're probably weird-looking things. And uh, do women like looking at them? Like men want to see all the boobs and butts you want to send them. Like you don't need to ask, just send them.

SPEAKER_03 11:31

True.

SPEAKER_02 11:32

But I would think if you got a picture of a dick, you'd be like, I don't what am I supposed to do with this?

SPEAKER_03 11:36

Yeah. 1,000%.

SPEAKER_02 11:37

Why is it shaped like a banana?

SPEAKER_03 11:39

No unsolicited. Yeah. I I I agree with that.

SPEAKER_02 11:42

Have you have you gotten any where it's just there's a dick pic?

SPEAKER_03 11:44

I when I was single, I would, and then I would block.

SPEAKER_02 11:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 11:47

You know, that's not my vibe. That's not my style.

SPEAKER_02 11:49

Yeah, girls aren't gonna be like, oh, that's sweet. Give me some more. No. Give me some more of that sweet dick pic.

SPEAKER_03 11:54

Yeah, like absolutely not. Actually, notably, one of my best friends sent me a nude the other day. She was like, What do you think of this nude? I replied, and I was like, Oh my god, your floor looks so fucking clean. I love your organization in the back. She calls me, she goes, Taylor, I wasn't fucking asking about how clean my fucking room was. And I was like, I misunderstood this assignment. I'm like not doing well.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

Is this normal? Like, if someone were to hack into any girl's phone, would they find other female nudes on there? Like, is this a thing girls do?

SPEAKER_03 12:21

Oh, yeah. Did you watch Euphoria? Are you watching Euphoria?

SPEAKER_02 12:24

I've never seen one episode of Euphoria.

SPEAKER_03 12:27

What?

unknown 12:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:28

Okay, can you tell me what you think?

SPEAKER_02 12:29

Isn't that the one where Sydney Sweeney's naked in it?

SPEAKER_03 12:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:31

Yeah, then you would think I would watch it, right? Yeah, I was gonna say. Yeah, but no. I mean, I've seen those scenes.

SPEAKER_03 12:36

It's there, they're all over. You can't get away from the side. Wait, did you see that Scooter Braun posted this week and was like, when your girl tells you that she's never been to Times Square, you take her out at 2 a.m. and you bike through Times Square, and it was him and Sydney Sweeney biking through Times Square. You're gonna tell me Sydney Sweeney has never been to Times Square.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

Right.

SPEAKER_03 13:01

That's like telling me that she's a real blonde. Like, come on. That is so fake. I couldn't. That's so lame. Yeah. And I hate Scooby.

SPEAKER_02 13:08

So do you think she told him that, or is he just that dumb to believe her if she were to say that? I She spent half her life in Manhattan. How has she not been in Times Square?

SPEAKER_03 13:16

Right? Like you've been to Times Square. Yeah. Many times.

SPEAKER_02 13:18

I was in Times Square twice last week.

SPEAKER_03 13:20

Can we talk about that? What were you filming?

SPEAKER_02 13:23

Um there's an episode of Dexter. Oh, by the way, because we did, because I did something with Lindsay Lohan, right? That blew my mind. And does she listen to the I don't want to say anything mean about that?

SPEAKER_03 13:35

I don't think she listens, unfortunately. She's busy.

SPEAKER_02 13:38

Um probably not a shock. Does not look great.

SPEAKER_03 13:41

That's so sad.

SPEAKER_02 13:42

She was she's in the show with uh Shailen Woodley, one of Aaron Rogers exes. I can't stand her. And she's kind of she looks decent. She's shockingly skinny.

SPEAKER_03 13:52

Shailen Woodley was hotter than Lindsay Lohan.

SPEAKER_02 13:55

Yeah. Yeah. But the hottest of them all, Uma Thurman.

SPEAKER_03 13:59

Oh, yeah. Who is on Dexter.

SPEAKER_02 14:00

Yeah. Duh. And she's 56.

SPEAKER_03 14:02

Uma Thurman is smoking hot.

SPEAKER_02 14:05

Smoking hot. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:06

I think she's one of those like people like beacon of just like womanhood. Like she's like one of those like women figures that I feel like you're always just gonna be like, okay, she's hot. Like Pamela Anderson. You think Pamela Anderson, you think, okay, she's hot.

SPEAKER_02 14:21

Yeah, always hot.

SPEAKER_03 14:22

What you don't think Pamela Anderson's hot?

SPEAKER_02 14:25

Your husband's drink is still drinking the rum over there.

SPEAKER_03 14:26

Yeah, he's drinking the rum. Take a swig of rum.

SPEAKER_02 14:28

Take a swig of the rum. Shut up.

SPEAKER_03 14:33

So what else did you do this week besides filming Lindsay Lohan, Uma Thurman, and uh and Shailen Woodley.

SPEAKER_02 14:39

Um I eliminate her. I don't care. A couple shows that don't start filming till Monday.

SPEAKER_03 14:44

Ooh.

SPEAKER_02 14:44

One with Uma Thurman's daughter, by the way, who's in Stranger Things.

SPEAKER_03 14:47

I never saw Stranger Things.

SPEAKER_02 14:49

First name is Maya. Who's Uma Thurman's husband?

SPEAKER_03 14:51

Maya Rudolph.

SPEAKER_02 14:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:53

Hook?

unknown 14:54

Hook.

SPEAKER_02 14:55

Ethan Hawkes.

SPEAKER_03 14:56

I thought he was just saying fuck. I thought he was like, fuck. I was like, okay, wow. All right.

SPEAKER_02 15:01

Every now and then everyone just yells fuck.

SPEAKER_03 15:03

Every now and then the engineer just gets fed up with us. Um so you saw that they have Grand Royale duels to see who engineers are podcaster.

SPEAKER_02 15:11

Yes, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:12

Isn't that beautiful? Nate and I passed the battlefield the other day where they do it.

SPEAKER_02 15:15

Where the bodies were laying there?

SPEAKER_03 15:16

Yeah, where the bodies were laying there, yeah. All the all the fallen soldiers of Westchester and KOP studios were just in the battlefield.

SPEAKER_02 15:23

Are we sure it's not the opposite? Like they look at the schedule for the day and they're like, oh, I wish I had COVID. No, 1000%.

SPEAKER_03 15:30

No, I feel like Matt does that and he's just like not today.

SPEAKER_02 15:34

I could see that. Not today. I could see that.

SPEAKER_03 15:35

I could see that too.

SPEAKER_02 15:36

So can I uh can I say you uh are talking about or or one new sponsor of the show is a new dating app, right?

SPEAKER_03 15:43

Yes. So we're very, very excited. It is called Alter Meat.

SPEAKER_02 15:47

Okay. For people who want um a hamburger made of kale, that would also be an alter meat.

SPEAKER_03 15:53

That would also be an altered meat.

SPEAKER_02 15:54

Spelled differently.

SPEAKER_03 15:54

But spelled differently.

SPEAKER_02 15:58

I'm like, this does not look like dating.

SPEAKER_03 16:00

No, not at all. Well, it's a wait list right now. M E E T. Yeah. Yeah, M-E-E-T. It's a wait list. So you signed up, you're on the wait list.

SPEAKER_02 16:06

So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:07

Oh, hi. As someone who has made their entire career out of talking to people on the internet, I think I have some sort of authority to say this. It's hard making friends in adulthood. It's even harder to date in adulthood. And that's why your best friend Taylor is giving you a little piece of advice. Altermeat. That's the advice. Ultra meat. You're gonna want to go to altermeat.com, download the app, go to the website, and sign up to be on their wait list because it launches July 4th. That's why I'm wearing red. It's a platform that helps you connect with people through real events and shared interests instead of that awkward, endless scrolling. Plus, everybody is verified, so there's no guessing when you're going out on a date. Because going out on a date is exciting. We should be excited to go out and date. Well, not me, I'm married. But for all of you guys that are single out there, go to ultrameat.com, join their wait list. And you can thank me later.

SPEAKER_02 17:15

Yeah. So I feel like I can say this without it coming across as being mean. Like I'm trying to help you if you're on the dating apps. Yeah. Because I'm on all of them, and as you can tell, I have no success. So I know from experience what not to do. So I have four tips for your because all that really matters is your main profile picture, right?

SPEAKER_03 17:32

I feel like that's 99% of the time.

SPEAKER_02 17:34

You're just swipe, you don't even bother. You can go with the profile and the fancy words and other pictures. Those are for what when guys are like, oh, here, here, woman, what do you think of this girl? Then you'll read everything. Yes. We're just looking at the first picture.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 17:48

So number one, like you normally have like, say, five pictures. They all have to be of you. Like I've seen pictures where it's like, oh, it's woman, it's a woman. Here's a plate of food. Here's the Eiffel Tower. Here's a dog. Like, not you with the dog. Right. You eat just a plate of food. I'm like, well, now I'm assuming it's not you. Because every woman I know has a thousand pictures of herself on her phone. Every hot girl I know has 10,000 pictures of herself on her phone, right? How many do you have?

SPEAKER_03 18:15

Oh my God, like a million? So many phones. I'm actually adding a new line to my Verizon account.

SPEAKER_02 18:23

So if you can't find five pictures of yourself on your phone, you're probably not a real person.

SPEAKER_03 18:28

Well, the cool thing about Altarmeet is you don't get to see the pictures until you match, which is even better because you're not wasting your time.

SPEAKER_02 18:37

That's shocking.

SPEAKER_03 18:38

You're not wasting your time with people that don't have the same interests as you.

SPEAKER_02 18:42

You're being matched on interests?

SPEAKER_03 18:43

Yeah. On interests, on what you love to do, your career goals, things like that. So for you, you're gonna have to say career goals, marry a celebrity.

SPEAKER_02 18:53

Yeah. OnlyFans.

SPEAKER_03 18:55

An OnlyFans celebrity.

SPEAKER_02 18:56

Well, and I'm and I'm gonna be an OnlyFans celebrity. Oh. And then we can do couple stuff.

SPEAKER_03 19:00

Oh my god. Good job.

SPEAKER_02 19:02

And then we can do couple stuff with other couples. We're gonna be so rich.

SPEAKER_03 19:06

Okay, it's like six months from now, and now you're working for browsers. And Dave Cruz.

SPEAKER_02 19:13

Can I still wear a Taylor, Taylor, Taylor hat?

SPEAKER_03 19:15

I think that's amazing when trying to get into the porn industry. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:18

Um, so number two, so now that we've identified you have to have all pictures of you.

SPEAKER_03 19:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 19:23

Show your goddamn teeth. All the times that women are smiling with their mouth closed, or you do that pucker face or the fish face, whatever. If you don't show your teeth, I'm assuming you have teeth like the Singer Jewel. Like they're all pointed a different direction and different color.

SPEAKER_03 19:38

Not the Singer Jewel catching strays. I've never thought about her teeth being that bad.

SPEAKER_02 19:44

It's awful.

SPEAKER_03 19:45

Really? Okay.

SPEAKER_02 19:46

It's awful. So if your teeth are that jacked up, get that shit fixed, then go on the dating up. And then go on the dating up, okay? Let me see that you have teeth.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:53

Uh number three, full body shot. Because I don't know. Women don't seem to care as much about a guy's body, but as we know, men care about the body. And I and I understand women might be self-conscious, but no matter what your body is like, there's a guy who wants that.

SPEAKER_03 20:08

That's true.

SPEAKER_02 20:08

So whether you're a bigger bone girl, whether you're built like a 12-year-old boy, there's a guy that wants that. So show us what we're getting.

SPEAKER_03 20:14

Okay. Right. Well, because we often, as women, we look for the men with like certain height requirements, right? I feel like that can kind of be the same with men looking for women. Yeah. You want to know if she's six foot two. Right. You want to know if she's five foot.

SPEAKER_02 20:26

So, guys, you think we should stand next to something that will show our height? I mean Like I'm gonna say like I'm gonna say I'm six four on my dating apps. Honestly. You won't know I'm five ten until you meet me.

SPEAKER_03 20:36

No, Dave, I would believe you. I think everyone's like six foot.

SPEAKER_02 20:39

So you should always have a uh uh what do we call them? A little person friend? Oh, just a lot just you can stand next to and go, no, they're five foot ten.

SPEAKER_03 20:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:48

I'm clearly seven and a half feet.

SPEAKER_03 20:50

I'm clearly this tall. You know how speaking of height, you know Michael Jordan is six six?

SPEAKER_02 20:54

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 20:55

I didn't know that he was exactly six six. I just wanted to throw that out there. Okay, keep going.

SPEAKER_02 20:59

So one more. So for the main picture, which is the most important, and I don't care if you're smoking hot nine out of ten. That main picture cannot be you with a hotter friend. Because we're gonna look at the picture. We don't know who you are. And if we look at the picture, we're like, huh, I wonder which one she is. Boy, I hope she's that one. And then we scroll to the next picture and we see that you're not the hotter one, you're gone.

SPEAKER_03 21:22

You're gone.

SPEAKER_02 21:23

So your main picture either has to be just you or you with your ugly friend. You can still put the picture of you with your hot friend, but that's at the bottom. That's at the bottom. And that's where, as this podcast always comes to, we'll get down there and be like, wow, I really like this girl. Oh, she has a hot friend. I'm thinking threesome in the future.

SPEAKER_03 21:39

Oh, and I was wondering when we were gonna hit that threesome where and then we hit it.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

Yeah, so start off with you and the ugly friend, and then by the end, you and the hot friend. You know that makes sense?

SPEAKER_03 21:48

It makes sense. Yeah. And just uh a little background on what women do, or at least what I would do when I was single. You go through, you're swiping, you see like a group of guys. And they're like all friends, and then there's like three hot guys, and the two ugly guys are in the middle, and you're like, Okay, it's gotta be one of the ugly guys that like is on this app. Yeah, you still go out with them. You know why you still go out with them?

SPEAKER_02 22:11

Because of the hot friends?

SPEAKER_03 22:12

Because then you meet the hot friends, and then you're in the friend group, and then you date as many of the hot friends as you want.

SPEAKER_02 22:16

Wait, but I don't think if you're one of the hot friends, you're not gonna date the girl that just dumped your ugly buddy.

SPEAKER_03 22:22

You go out on the time. You go say you go out the club.

SPEAKER_02 22:24

Right now you won't go out with your buddy's girl, ex-girl. She's friend zoning right now. Yeah, yep. Okay. Yeah, that's what she's gonna do. Getting the free drinks and the free dinner, and then hanging out with getting to be friends with all the hot guys.

SPEAKER_03 22:37

Yeah, and then you jump in that group. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 22:39

Okay. So but you're eventually gonna dump the ugly guy.

SPEAKER_03 22:42

Yeah, I feel like you just friend zone them to begin with, and you're like, oh my god, it was so nice to like find a side.

SPEAKER_02 22:46

But then you can still hang out with uh hot guys? Why not? You're just giving them handies and blowies all over the place?

SPEAKER_03 22:50

I I mean, sure. If that's your vibe, that's your vibe. Um, okay, well, we said blowjobs, you said handies. Um do you know what an OTPHJ is?

SPEAKER_02 23:00

Or the pants hand job.

SPEAKER_03 23:01

Yeah. Okay. Do you think that that's real sex?

SPEAKER_02 23:03

No.

SPEAKER_03 23:04

I agree with that. Yeah. It's a big discussion on the first time.

SPEAKER_02 23:06

There's a lot of from the last one we did about what was sex and what wasn't.

SPEAKER_03 23:10

Um, I would like to say that like a lot of middle-aged women did reach out to me and be like, um, who is the man that you're talking to? Are you safe? And I'm like, have you not watched any of these episodes? I'm the bad influence. Like in this situation, I'm the one.

SPEAKER_02 23:25

She just brought a giant bottle of rum and was passing it around. It's noon when we're recording this.

SPEAKER_03 23:30

Yeah, it's a literally 1234 right now. Yeah. It's a Friday, though. Fridays don't count when you're creative.

SPEAKER_02 23:36

True. And we both have birthdays.

SPEAKER_03 23:37

So we both have birthdays. Yeah. I can't believe I'm not.

SPEAKER_02 23:39

Are you still 29?

SPEAKER_03 23:40

I'm yeah, I actually am 29. It sounds fake when you turn 29 because it's like, okay, sure. Yeah, you're 29. How old are you?

SPEAKER_02 23:47

Well, it's kind of like uh, how old do you want me to be?

SPEAKER_03 23:50

Dave, I will never know how old you are. That is one of those things me and Ken were trying to figure it out the other day. I was like, I feel like he's 42, maybe.

SPEAKER_02 23:57

I'll go with that. Can I uh can I ask you a question about birthdays? Speaking of things you'll never know. Please. I'll never know my actual birthday because I'm adopted. Did I tell you this story? No, but I I was talking with somebody a couple months ago and everyone's talking about when their birthdays are. Um, and I said, Oh, I'm adopted. And they go, Oh, so your birthday is June 1st. I said, Yeah, it's June 1st. And they said, Well, that's the day they give to adopted kids when they don't know their actual birthday. No.

SPEAKER_03 24:20

Are you serious?

SPEAKER_02 24:21

Yeah, I mean, that's what they told me. So I'm assuming it's right because how would you just pick June 1st out of the blue?

SPEAKER_03 24:26

Have you asked your mom?

SPEAKER_02 24:28

My my adopted mom? Yeah. No, she doesn't know what my birthday is. Does she?

SPEAKER_03 24:32

They just told her June 1st. They were like, okay, you're right.

SPEAKER_02 24:35

I remember I think uh my name was Matt. I remember Matt. Your name was Matt? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:39

Have you ever gotten the urge to Matt Cruz?

unknown 24:41

I don't like Matt Cruz.

SPEAKER_03 24:43

Yeah. Have you ever gotten the urge to look up your biological parents?

SPEAKER_02 24:47

No. I was told that she was a great musician, like she was a good guitarist. So growing up, I always assumed she was Cheryl Crow.

SPEAKER_03 24:53

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 24:54

But I think Cheryl Crow's only like two years older than me. So I don't know if that would be.

SPEAKER_03 24:57

No, I feel like your mom is like.

SPEAKER_02 24:59

Maybe it's somebody like the guitarist from Heart. Is that Nancy Wilson or Ann Wilson? I think she might be a little. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 25:04

That's a really bad family dynamic to like jump in. You're like, hey, by the way, did you give up a kid? That's me.

SPEAKER_02 25:10

How are you? Sing the song Barracuda. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 25:14

Okay, so you don't know. Do you not know though?

SPEAKER_02 25:16

No, I've I have no idea.

SPEAKER_03 25:17

If they reached out to you, would you be like, get away. I have a mom.

SPEAKER_02 25:20

I'd be like, what's my birthday?

SPEAKER_03 25:21

What's my birthday?

SPEAKER_02 25:22

Yeah. So But then I feel like I've been celebrate uh celebrating it wrong for all 42 years of my life. And that would be awkward.

SPEAKER_03 25:28

Okay, more personal questions. Where did they get you? Where'd they find you? You're like your mom.

SPEAKER_02 25:32

It was in Chicago and they walk by and there was an umbilical cord just hanging out of a dumpster.

SPEAKER_03 25:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:37

And someone just hold on it, and there's a little and I was chewing on a pizza crust.

SPEAKER_03 25:42

Was it Domino's?

SPEAKER_02 25:44

I don't think Domino's was around back then. Well, I mean it was deep dish. It was Chicago.

SPEAKER_03 25:47

Oh, okay. Fair enough. Fair enough.

SPEAKER_02 25:48

It was probably the Mel Nottis. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:50

Well, do you ever wonder, because you are adopted, that you're you're out and about, you're single, you're in the world, you're hooking up with people. Do you ever wonder that there is a sibling out there and she's super hot and somehow she likes you. You guys connect.

SPEAKER_02 26:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:06

And then you you fuck your sister. Have you ever thought about that? That's the Midwest shit. That's the Midwest shit.

SPEAKER_02 26:13

But the difference is this would be accidental.

SPEAKER_03 26:15

It would be an accident.

SPEAKER_02 26:16

It's not the on-purpose hey, we're in Oklahoma with nothing to do with the sheep are busy. What else am I gonna put my wheels in? Would that be acceptable or no?

SPEAKER_03 26:24

I don't know. You tell me. You're the adopted one.

SPEAKER_02 26:28

Well, is it okay to marry them?

SPEAKER_03 26:30

Or just Okay, no. Okay, say last week you hooked up with someone, you get a text message right here in the middle of the show, and she's like, Dave, I just found out that you're Matt and we're siblings.

SPEAKER_01 26:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:43

Well, what do you do? Do you say, okay, eh, fuck it, let's hook up again? Or do you say, no, I don't believe in incest?

SPEAKER_02 26:49

I have you ever had to type that to someone before?

unknown 26:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:56

I would do what I normally do when a girl texts me that I previously fucked me like, how did you get this number?

SPEAKER_03 27:01

Oh my god, Dave.

SPEAKER_02 27:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:03

I hope we find your siblings out there.

SPEAKER_02 27:04

I can't imagine having sex with the same person more than once.

SPEAKER_03 27:07

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

Like, what's the allure?

SPEAKER_03 27:10

Okay, let's like just let's just drive on past.

SPEAKER_02 27:14

Haven't you done everything you could do the first time, then you didn't do it right?

SPEAKER_03 27:18

I don't think that's the thought process. I think it's like you fall in love and then like you only want to have sex with that person.

SPEAKER_02 27:22

This sounds like a whole different podcast. It does.

SPEAKER_03 27:24

It does sound like a whole different podcast than what this is.

SPEAKER_02 27:26

Although you are wearing red. So maybe I am wearing red.

SPEAKER_03 27:29

I would like to draw attention to the red. Rent the runway. If you're looking for fun outfits like this, you can get them for 50% off your first month using code RTRX Taylor Brooke. I'll put it on the screen right here. And the link will be in the bio.

SPEAKER_02 27:44

Um I've never seen you in red. I like it. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 27:47

I don't wear red because my sister one time said that I don't look good in red. She said she said, I want to be honest with you. You don't look good in red. And I said, Thank you for being honest with me.

SPEAKER_02 27:56

Were you like eight and you've held it 21 minutes?

SPEAKER_03 27:59

I feel like I was like maybe 11 or 12, yeah. But yeah, and I've held on to it.

SPEAKER_02 28:02

Huh.

SPEAKER_03 28:03

Speaking of my sister, she ran a 5k last weekend. Are you serious? Yeah. Holy crap. Isn't that crazy?

SPEAKER_02 28:09

I didn't know she was a runner and was into that.

SPEAKER_03 28:11

She's like a big runner. Like she loves to run.

SPEAKER_02 28:13

Is she gonna keep going? Like doing marathons?

SPEAKER_03 28:15

I think she would. Honestly.

SPEAKER_02 28:17

Sounds exhausting.

SPEAKER_03 28:18

Doesn't that sound terrifying and awful? Like your your will is to run.

SPEAKER_02 28:22

It's kind of like whenever I see someone with kids in public, it's the same as when I see people running. They always look miserable. And I'm like, why would I ever want to run or have kids? You all look exhausted.

SPEAKER_03 28:32

They look exhausted and then they go, This is the best thing that's ever happened to me. And I'm like, Have you tried a Xanax?

unknown 28:38

Really?

SPEAKER_03 28:39

Because the best thing that ever happened to you cannot be that little ball of annoyingness in the corner that's screaming.

SPEAKER_01 28:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:45

What about when you go out to dinner? Will you want to will you change tables if there's a screaming child next to you?

SPEAKER_02 28:54

No, I'll probably just throw stuff at the kid until the parents move.

SPEAKER_03 28:59

Fair enough. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 29:00

Does that seem but does that seem better?

SPEAKER_03 29:02

It it seems like a lot of work on your part. No, I would move, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:06

I mean, it wouldn't be anything that would wound it, like a fork.

SPEAKER_03 29:09

Or a knife.

SPEAKER_02 29:10

Oh, yeah, or a knife. Yeah, I'm gonna stop doing that. Yeah. Well, not the steak knife.

SPEAKER_03 29:14

Not the steak knife.

SPEAKER_02 29:16

Butter knife is fine. It's gonna do a little dent. Their heads are very gelatinous at that age anyway, when they're little.

SPEAKER_03 29:20

They're very gelatinous. I learned.

unknown 29:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 29:24

I have to tell you about something that happened to me when I was at happy hour this week.

SPEAKER_02 29:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 29:28

I was at happy hour, I was at Joe's, and I'm sitting out on the park.

SPEAKER_02 29:31

I'm glad that you're at happy hours so often. You can't even narrow it down to one day. It's just one of the days.

SPEAKER_03 29:35

It was one of the days this week. And I was early. Not usually early, but I was early, and I said I didn't get a drink yet, and I was just typing away on my phone doing some work. Behind me are about seven girls, and I didn't get to look at them when I sat down. I was too distracted on like pictures.

SPEAKER_02 29:49

Could you hear, were they like your age girls or like little girls?

SPEAKER_03 29:52

So I thought they were around.

SPEAKER_02 29:53

We probably shouldn't be at happy hour, but we shouldn't be at happy hour.

SPEAKER_03 29:55

They had to be like early 20s. I would say maybe 21 to 24. 25.

SPEAKER_02 30:00

You can hang with that crowd. It's your crowd. Totally.

SPEAKER_03 30:01

I could hang with them if I wanted. I'm sitting there and all of a sudden I hear them start like aggressively shit talking, but in the nicest way. They were like, I love her, but oh my god, we were gonna be best friends. But she seemed nice and and I was like, oh my god, this is the perfect scenario of everything that's happening. So I took notes on what they were talking about.

SPEAKER_02 30:22

Oh god.

SPEAKER_03 30:23

And I just want to like talk about them. I sat there for 11 minutes. When my friend showed up, she came in, she was like, hey, I said, shh, I'm listening. There's something going on here.

SPEAKER_02 30:31

Now, is this stuff you would say when you were 21, 22? Or even now?

SPEAKER_03 30:36

I would probably say this now, but I just needed more information. They were scratching the surface, but they weren't getting in deep. Okay, so if you guys are these girls, if any of these girls, Sophia was like the main girl's name, if you were Sophia in Pennsylvania outside of Philadelphia on like Monday or Tuesday of this week, I need to talk to you.

SPEAKER_02 30:51

Sophia was the one they were talking about, or she was one of the girls. So she's she's the queen bee of the mean girl pod. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 30:58

So they're all teachers.

SPEAKER_02 30:59

She was a Lindsay Lohan then. She was a Lindsey Lohan.

SPEAKER_03 31:01

So I discover they're all teachers. They're talking about being a teacher. And I'm like, okay, okay, you're getting the drama. Okay, right. They were like, I can't believe she got a promotion. They're shit talking one girl for getting a promotion. I discover the woman who got the promotion, I think it's Diana because they were doing a lot of shit talking on Diana. Diana gets this promotion because she went to the eighth grade graduation two years in a row. She was being a little bit of a kiss ass because they teach elementary school.

SPEAKER_02 31:28

Isn't that what teachers are supposed to do?

SPEAKER_03 31:29

That's what I thought, but they made it seem like elementary school teachers shouldn't go to eighth grade graduation because like it's a try hard thing, but she got the promotion.

SPEAKER_01 31:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 31:38

So they're annoyed that she got the promotion. Sophia doesn't understand why everyone at the school would have been like, you and Diana are gonna be best friends when she gets here because Sophia fucking hates Diana. Then I learned not one, not two, not three, four teachers are leaving the school district because of Diana.

SPEAKER_02 31:59

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 32:00

They're leaving. Okay, so I what I was gonna ask is okay, is the salary comparable?

SPEAKER_02 32:05

Did you want to turn around and ask questions?

SPEAKER_03 32:06

I did. I really wanted to, but I I made sure that I didn't, but they answered the question. The salary is better at their current school. How much better, you ask? $15,000 better.

SPEAKER_02 32:17

They were very specific in this.

SPEAKER_03 32:18

They were. So these four teachers are going to a school paying $15,000 less just to get away from Diana. Is she that miserable? I guess she must be. The one girl, Sophia, would have left and went to another school district, but her and her partner just bought a house.

SPEAKER_02 32:33

Oh, what can you do? So, like, what can you do? Real estate. I you somehow have to get a hold of Diana. I really get her side of the story.

SPEAKER_03 32:39

And they were mad because allegedly Diana is a reading coach. And they kept going, she's a reading coach. Is that bad? Is being a reading coach.

SPEAKER_02 32:49

Does that mean you help kids? So the so their biggest problem with her is she shows up to support the kids at the graduation. Yeah. She helps kids to read. Yeah. And she's so good at her job she got a promotion.

SPEAKER_03 32:59

Yes.

unknown 33:00

Fucking bitch.

SPEAKER_03 33:01

I right? Like terrible, terrible woman, terrible person. They were so cutthroat mean without being cutthroat mean. It was crazy. And then we listened for like 20 minutes.

SPEAKER_02 33:12

When you hear as a teacher yourself, yeah. At a fine academic institution, do you ever think that the other women teachers there get together for a happy hour and they're like, ugh, fucking tailor in her cell phone photography class?

SPEAKER_03 33:25

Yeah. No, yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 33:26

And she she brings her kids coffee. And I told those kids you don't drink her coffee.

SPEAKER_03 33:30

No, I do feel like at some points they're probably like, why is this little blonde bitch walking in here 10 minutes late, canceling class because it rains, giving them alternate assignments, plugging her own social media. What is she doing here? Yeah, they probably say that. But at the end of the day, my director loves me. So I think I think we're fine.

SPEAKER_01 33:49

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:50

Yeah. But yeah, so poor Diana. She was really taking the brunt of it. And I just I hope you listen to the pod, Diana. Yeah, absolutely. I hope you're one of the little gremlins.

SPEAKER_02 33:57

Call text in so we can get your side of the story.

SPEAKER_03 34:00

I'm like thinking like it's gotta be the school district I live in, right?

SPEAKER_02 34:03

If if it's right there?

SPEAKER_03 34:04

If it's right there. So technically I guess.

SPEAKER_02 34:06

But you didn't you didn't hear Sophia and her gang talk about any specific school, right?

SPEAKER_03 34:10

No. No. They're just moving districts.

SPEAKER_02 34:12

See, if you had kids, you would know because you would know the teachers at the schools. That's not true.

SPEAKER_03 34:16

But they're big schools. I probably wouldn't know all the teachers. Right. Right? Like I went to small schools my whole life.

SPEAKER_02 34:22

On a side note, I do remember, I believe, again, you have so many happy hours, but uh it might be that specific happy hour where there are a couple martinis on the table. I remember you posted this picture on Instagram, and the person taking the picture, it's of you holding a martini, and they caption it something like, you know, happy hour with the love of my life. And I think, oh, that's very sweet of Nate. And I noticed it was not Nate, it was your friend Kennedy. Kennedy.

SPEAKER_03 34:45

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:46

I just assume it was hubby Nate. Nope.

SPEAKER_03 34:49

I just have to say, you can't be friends with the people who you work with. Besides us. We we've discovered we're best friends.

SPEAKER_02 34:56

Now we are.

SPEAKER_03 34:57

Now we are. Bob Ross, naked mermaids, like you can't get more on brand for two best friends. You can't be friends with people that you work with because then all of a sudden their personal problems are your personal problems. And then it's just awful.

SPEAKER_02 35:10

And you're like, I hired you to deal with my personal problems. Don't bring your stuff in here.

SPEAKER_03 35:14

Exactly. So that's what I'm dealing with with friends and um like business associates. I'm actively cutting people out. I want like the roster of friends to be at the exact five.

SPEAKER_02 35:25

Are you in the market for another another lawyer?

SPEAKER_03 35:27

I am, yeah. I'm I'm looking. Do you have a good lawyer?

SPEAKER_02 35:30

Uh I see a lot of billboards for Morgan and Morgan. Seems like they handle a lot of accidents at work, though. So I don't know if you could fall off these chairs, but they're so comfy.

SPEAKER_03 35:38

Uh, Morgan and Morgan, I think it would be a great opportunity for you to sponsor this podcast. You know how many people are out of work watching this because they have nothing better to do.

SPEAKER_02 35:46

And how great would it be? Taylor, Taylor, Taylor, Morgan, Morgan.

SPEAKER_03 35:50

I mean Taylor, Taylor, Taylor, brought to you by Morgan and Morgan. And Morgan. There's gotta be one more. There has to be one more Morgan out there. Thanks for coming on the Taylor Taylor Taylor show.

SPEAKER_02 35:59

Thank you for having me. Thank you for the birthday present.

SPEAKER_03 36:00

Thank you for the birthday present.

SPEAKER_02 36:02

Did we save any lives or help anybody today? Did we do anything?

SPEAKER_03 36:04

I think we Anything good? I think we're really barking up the right tree of this being a health and wellness podcast. I just want us to hit like the top 10 on the wealth and health and wellness show.

SPEAKER_02 36:12

We've encouraged people to not run but to drink rum at noon.

SPEAKER_03 36:15

Exactly. And that's called balance. And if you don't believe in balance, you don't believe in the show. Bye guys. See you next Tuesday.

SPEAKER_01 36:27

Welcome to the TLT or sign up host in the book.