This Episode Is a Recession Indicator!

Taylor is alone in the studio, which means no one can stop the spiral. She investigates the questions currently plaguing her, including whether a living room keeps its name after someone dies in it, where airplane babies are from, and whether Lightning McQueen needs car or life insurance. She also covers a tire crisis, illegal August pumpkin spice, eyebrow-dye failure, stolen DSW points, and her husband’s offensive rejection of homemade tuna salad. Plus, Taylor remembers Hayden Panettiere and reflects on postpartum mental health, online cruelty, and why women deserve more compassion.

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Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:08

Hello, hello, hello. Taylor, Taylor, Taylor Show. The show where we say things three times until it makes sense. I'm your host. I'm Taylor Brooke, and it's just me today. There's no one in the chair across from me besides my nice pink rain jacket. It's Michael Kors. You can't see it, but it is really adorable. Similar to how adorable my shirt is. Um, let me give you guys a minute just to look at it. Adorable. It's Rachel Antonoff. It's also Rent the Runway. You can use my promo code RTRX Taylor Brooke for 60% off your first month on Rent the Runway. Um, I'm just starting out this podcast with an ad. And that's the kind of girl that I am: a woman in the arts, a woman in STEM, a woman who's just trying to make her coin recently. You know, we have reached new heights. No Jason Kelsey, Travis Kelsey joke need it. We really reached new heights with this podcast, we have listeners all over the place now. So we're not just the Northeast. I want to give a shout out to Germany, Frankfurt, Germany. Um, a large percentage of our population on this podcast comes from my German friends. And I love that. I'm a big fan of your work, and I love your cars. Actually, let's talk about my German-engineered car just for like a millisecond. So yesterday, I go outside and I'm about to get in my little vehicle, and I get a whim whip, like one of those like sirens on the inside of your car that says, something's wrong with your tire. So I think, this sucks. What do you do when something's wrong with your tire? You call your dad. So I call my dad and he doesn't answer because I guess he has a life and other things to do besides wait for his children's phone calls. So that happens. I call my husband, he's in a meeting because he has a real life adult job. So I'm like, what do I do right now? Probably call triple A. So I call AAA and there is a screw or like a nail of sorts in my tire. They fix it, they patch it up, right? Easy breezy, beautiful. And then I get my car today, my German-engineered vehicle, and I realize that there's still a tire light on. So I'm a little conflicted. I was able to drive to the studio and I'm fine, but who knows if I'll make it home. This could be the last time you guys ever see me. This is like Hannah Baker. Like, I'm giving you my um, what was that show? It was Hannah Baker. Yes, 13 Reasons Why? Yes. And she was like, This is why I actually fucking killed myself. That was crazy. That was crazy. And we all like took that as like gospel, Bible. We were like, you're the reason why she fucking killed herself. Um, yeah, let's Hannah Baker this bitch up today. Let's no, I'm I'm kidding. I'm kidding. We don't make suicide jokes on this podcast. Yes, we do. Welcome to the Taylor, Taylor, Taylor Show. So I have some questions that have plagued me recently. And last time I did questions that have plagued me, we got a good response out of it. The response mostly came from my question about shellfish. Like, if you have a shellfish allergy, can you swim in the ocean? We had allergists like reply with videos of like, well, some people can, some people can't. So I have more questions like that of things that have plagued me recently. Okay, so if you die, we're talking about death. So if you die in your living room, can you still call it a living room? Like, okay, say you're going to see your great uncle David and he's in hospice in his house and then he dies in the living room. When you sell that house, do you gotta call it a dying room? It's not a joke. That's a real question. Um, I already asked the question about ketchup, so we're not gonna go there. This is a terrible one. I'm gonna ask it anyway. If you're lactose intolerant like I am, okay, you're lactose intolerant, you're probably lactose intolerant since birth, I think. I feel like that's how it goes. Like I feel like I've never had a good stomach. If you're lactose intolerant when you're born, can you have breast milk? Probably not. You probably have to have formula, but how do they know? There's gonna be a lot of moms in the comments. Um, I'm sure about it. But that's okay. We welcome the moms on this podcast. We need some mom correspondence on this podcast, besides my own mom, because I feel like I'm really out of touch with the kids these days. We know I love Helen Keller. Okay, I have a Helen Keller Barbie doll. I have Helen Keller quotes around my home. I love to retweet a Helen Keller retweet? What year am I in? Retweet? I haven't had Twitter since 2014. Ew. Ew. Repost, repost. Um, and we often talk about Helen Keller the musical, which, okay, quick side swipe here. Helen Keller the musical happened. I would like everyone to know that I fucking thought of this. I was the first person, I think, on mic to say, we need to do Helen Keller the musical. But my idea is different than the Helen Keller the musical that was popularized recently. So I would want to have to, I would want to hold Helen Keller the musical at the sight and sound theater in Lancaster. Lancaster. Lancaster. I don't, I don't know, I'm not from there. I want to hold it there and get it to sight and sound theater. So you walk in and you're like, okay, this is called the Helen Keller experience, brought to you by Taylor, Taylor, Taylor Brook Media. So you walk in, you sit down, and then all of a sudden, black. The lights go off. You look on the stage, black. There's no red curtain, it's a black curtain, and then you sit for 90 minutes in silence, looking at darkness. So you can experience life in the way that Helen Keller did. 90 minutes, sight and sound theater, Lancaster PA, give me a call. I really think this could sell out if we market it correctly. So when I'm thinking about blind and deaf people, I think that's not people first language. People who are blind and deaf. People who suffer from being blind. I it's been a while since my special ed degree. Do you think that if a baby is deaf and then they grow up and they become an adult, do you think they think in English? What language do they think in? Like if you've never heard words ever, you're born blind and deaf. What language do you think in? Do you have a language? Someone get back to me on that. This is also very niche. Um, do you think that people who are named Hunter get really uncomfortable when someone's an actual hunter? If you're like, hi, my name's Hunter, and they're like, oh, Hunter, I hunt. Like, I don't I feel like that would be weird. I don't like the name hunter. It's not a thing that I love. Also, I was around cows the other day and I kept thinking, do they know that I'm an ally? Like, I don't eat red meat. Do they know that I'm an ally of their of their culture, of their species? I don't think that they did. So let's talk about why I was in cow country. I decided to go to intercourse for the day. I made a video about it. If you want to see it, it's present on my social media channels at Taylor for underscores brook. You can find it everywhere. So I went to Intercourse PA for the day and I hung out with the Amish. And it was a great experience. Everybody was like very nice. Um, I I mean I didn't really talk to anybody. I just kind of like drank coffee and wandered around in the cornfields, and it was beautiful. There is a point of me talking about intercourse. I don't know. It fled. It fled just as quick as intercourse does. Um, do you think Lightning McQueen has car insurance or life insurance or both? Probably both. This this plagued me at a restaurant recently. So you know how we call them waiters. So it's like, that's your waiter. Okay. Well, if you're waiting for your waiter, like if you're seated at a restaurant and you're waiting for like 20 minutes for your waiter, wouldn't that make you the waiter? It would make me it makes me the waiter when I'm waiting. I don't know. There's something about that. Um, I have Duncan here today, and it's very important to note that on the day of this filming, Duncan came out with their pumpkin uh menu. So pumpkin spice, pumpkin pie, pumpkin everything. I love pumpkin. I also notably was not a fall girly. I didn't like fall, I only liked summer, but now I'm way too hot. Um, like way too hot. It's like a hundred degrees outside every single day, and I'm sweating too much, and I fucking hate it. So I went to Dunkin' today and I went with the full intention of getting pumpkin because I'm kind of into this fall theme, like this fall vibe, but I didn't because I'm not a fucking lunatic. You can't have a pumpkin spice latte in August. Like there's just something wrong about it. There's, I don't know. Maybe it's me, and maybe it's my generation, maybe there's something wrong with me. There is something wrong with me. Um, but yeah, I could not make myself do the pumpkin today. I wanted to, but I didn't. I didn't. I did want to get a pumpkin muffin because I felt like that was a nice hybrid. Like, okay, fair enough. She's having pumpkin, but she's not committing to a full pumpkin drink. Yeah. Okay, speaking of coffee and drinks, yesterday as I was waiting for AAA to fix my vehicle, I thought I'm gonna order groceries because I can't go out and drive. Also, I haven't grocery shopped legitimately been inside of a grocery store. Grocery shopped with a cart and like checked out with a real person in five or six years. I don't go grocery shopping. Um, so I like to incit a cart, I like to DoorDash. So what did I get yesterday? I was like, okay, I'm gonna get some groceries because there's nothing in this house. So I got iced coffee, I got Chobani creamer, I got Dr. Pepper, I got cottage cheese was a fourth thing. I got cottage cheese, some lactose-free cottage cheese. And then my damn husband has the audacity to come home. We'll let that sink in. First, he has the audacity to even come home. Um, but to open the fridge and go, oh, you went grocery shopping today, babe. And I said, Yeah, I did. And he opened it up and he goes, Did we get anything? Yeah, we did. We got coffee, we got coffee creamer, we got Dr. Pepper, and we got lactose-free cottage cheese. Oh, and Cape Cod chips. I love Cape Cod chips. Like they're the best. And like as a Lay's family growing up, we always had Lay's. Love them. But the Cape Cod Kettle Cooked, you can get a whole pack of them, like 10 little like lunch-size packs for like $7, which feels like a massive steal. This is now a thrifting podcast, actually. But so so I got five things, not four. I am blonde, I can't count. But my husband had the audacity to be like, so like, what should I make for dinner? I'm like, get yourself a Dr. Pepper and calm the fuck down, actually. Because we don't have anything for dinner tonight. We're up to our own devices. And then you know what I said? Ranting about my husband today. And then I said, you know what I can do for dinner? I said, I can cook. And he's like, What do what are you gonna make, babe? I make one thing and that's pasta sauce and meatballs, and that's just because I had to do it every single Sunday growing up. He goes, Okay, what are you gonna cook? And I said, I think I can make us tuna salad sandwiches. I make a great tuna salad, let me tell you. So you put the with the white tuna in, two scoops of mayo, a little bit of lemon juice from a fresh lemon, not like lemon juice from like a plastic container. No microplastics. Just kidding, I fucking love microplastics, but we'll get into that. Um, so I s and then we put like some French onion on the top, like some crispy French onion on the top of the sandwich. You do salt, you do pepper, a little bit of uh like the red stuff, seasoning, I'm forgetting what it's called. Paprika. So then you put a little bit of paprika on. It's incredible. And then uh my husband has the audacity to look at me and go, Yeah, babe, I love you, but like, I don't really like tuna that much. I know he doesn't like tuna, by the way. Like, we've been married forever. I I know that, but in my head last night I was like, how dare you? How dare you turn down a Dr. Pepper and a homemade tuna fish sandwich? Like, the audacity of men, the misogyny that lives within the four walls of my house is fucking crazy. Um, now he's gonna wish he ate that tuna salad sandwich. You know, like when he listens to this, which he does do, that is something that I can count on my husband for. He's always listening to the podcast and he listens like on the way home or to work, and he'll text me and be like, oh, I loved that part, or like, that's really funny. So, Nate, when you listen to this part, shoot me a text. Okay, love you, babe. And take a sip of my coffee. I need to, I need to calm down. This regulates my nervous system. Have we seen that Gen Alpha is making fun of Gen Z now? It's very funny. There are these two Gen Alpha kids and they're Scottish and they put on this American accent and they make fun of Gen Z Americans. They're like, gotta get my Hydro Flask and my reusable straw. I'm gonna talk about the Hydro Flask thing. I love a Hydro Flask. I love a Stanley, but I only love them in the 15 to like 20 ounce cups. I don't like the big ones. Like, even this for a coffee is obnoxious. Bringing large water or large beverages places really just make me uncomfortable. I don't know what about it. Like, like this is crazy. This is a crazy size. I would rather buy two little ones, but you can't get the $6 meal deal if you buy two little ones. You know? You can Duncan, call me. Let's figure this out together. There's also a new Alex Earl, like line Duncan. She is so far out of my orbit, which would not make sense because it seems like I would really love Alex Earl, right? Like she's blonde. That's just a prerequisite of people that I'm obsessed with. You have to be blonde.

unknown 13:41

I'm kidding.

SPEAKER_00 13:42

Um, but Alex Earl is so far out of my orbit that I really do not think about her. So this whole Alex Earl family TV show, I don't know if I'll watch. I probab well, who am I kidding? I probably will. It's reality TV. But it is interesting to me that her dad married a porn star. Question mark. I think that's what it was. Like the dad and the mom split. The dad ended up marrying a porn star, stripper, something like that. We love women in the arts, so like it doesn't really matter to me. But I just find that very curious and like interesting. Um, also, will she talk about Braxton Berrios? Someone has to. No one else is fucking talking about Braxton and Berrios. Oh my God. Speaking of, not speaking of Braxton, no one gives a fuck, but speaking of like the Eagles and like whoo, go birds, all of that stuff, I was informed last night that we have a man on our team now who is named Makai Lemon. Let's let that sink in. We're gonna have to be going, go Lemon. Like, do you think like if you're a professional football player, like a professional sport player, an athlete is what they called them actually. Um, if you have like a funky last name, do you think you're ever like, maybe I should change that? Cause you're lemon. Like, isn't that what they call cars that don't work? Like my German engineered vehicle, a lemon? I don't know. There was this one kid when I was in like first or second grade and we were on a bus for a field trip, and he called, he was like doing a prank call, and he called like one of those car services, and he was like, Hey, I have a lemon, but I want to drive a lime. And I just thought it was so funny, like back in the day. I was like, that's peak comedy. I think the kid's name was Chris. Maybe. I don't know. It probably wasn't. It was probably like Jacob or something. Okay. Um, I just got a glimpse of my reflection too, and I do need to talk about the eyebrows because I got a little preoccupied this morning. I woke up, thank God, thank the good lord, woke up this morning and canned, exfoliated, all that stuff, washed my hair, put in curlers, which, as you can tell, I put so much effort into my appearance today. Um, but I decided to put a little dye on my eyebrows just for men's. You gotta love it. So put some just for men's on my eyebrows, and then I got inundated with emails and phone calls. So I was on the phone and I forgot that I had dye on my eyebrows, and it's really cute because this one is aggressive and this one is not that aggressive, and it just won't come off. Like I almost put acetone on my face this morning just to get it off, which is like a huge no. You're not supposed to like put peroxide and acetone on your face, but I was trying to get this hair dye out, but it's not coming out. So now I'm stuck like this, and I'm sure that there will be more pictures of my eyes or maybe my eyebrows on the internet. Um, I actually did a hardcore like Reddit research on me yesterday just to see if there's any new and fun things out there that I can self-obsess over, and there's not. It's the same thing. Same things over and over again. Uh the Concord Mall got a lot of traction too. If you're close to the Wilmington, Delaware, or you're a Delawarean in any sort of way, fashion, maybe you know someone from Delaware. They probably know about the Concord Mall. I went to the Concord Mall last weekend and chatted to a bunch of Concord Mall folk who were hanging out until they demolish it, which is gonna be kind of sad to demolish the Concord Mall. I love a mall. I love to shop. I love, like, I am one of those old people who would love to just like walk around the mall. I used to do that after my shifts in morning radio. I used to walk around the mall. The King Oppression Mall, actually. But now I can't do that because if you do those sorts of things now, you could um, you could die. Literally, you could die and get stabbed. Because I'm pretty sure at the Christian mall, there was someone that was hiding under cars with a knife and stabbing people's ankles just to get into their car and take their stuff. Is this something that actually happened, or is it something that I made up in my head just to be scared about? I think it actually happened. You should fact check me though, guys. Just kidding, don't do that. Um Okay, I have more questions. More, more questions. Um if a baby, I these are a lot of baby questions today. I think I'm just like having trouble conceptualizing the fact that like people are born and then they like learn things and then we become who we are. Um, if a baby is born on a plane, where are they from? Like, what if they're in the air coming from Europe and they're born just in the atmosphere? I just like where are you from? Does that happen a lot? I never see pregnant women like on planes though. And I travel a good bit, so and I never see a pregnant woman. Hmm. That's a recession indicator right there. That's a recession indicator. I love to say that to anyone. Anyone over the age of 50, if you just reply to them with that's a recession indicator, they they don't know what to say back. And it's even more funny if they're not from here. Like it's even funnier if they're not from America. So, like a lot of my counterparts are in Canada or the UK, and it's funny because they'll be like, that's a recession indicator, and they'll be like, Oh yeah. And I'm like, what's going on with you? We have it rough right now. I don't know what the fuck is happening in Canada, but I cannot imagine that it's as bad as the United States right now. Um, just kidding, I love this country. Go USA. Uh Hayden Paneteer died, which is so sad. I'm talking about the death of our country, and now I'm talking about the death of our country's sweetheart. Um, she spoke a lot about postpartum and mental health and advocacy and all of those things. Notably, uh, Neutrogena dropped her for speaking about postpartum on live with Kelly and Michael. I think it's so important that as women, we are talking about these things. And as much as this podcast is a joke and it's leisure and it's funny, um, I at least I hope you think it's funny. We are big advocates of women and mental health on this podcast. So I will uh link some resources in the notes of this episode, but it's so sad, and I would love to shed more light on what women especially are going through after pregnancy or just mental health-wise, like it's very, very treacherous right now, and I think we need to act with a lot of compassion. I talk about it a lot with like Bravo and the celebrities that we have on here, the Bravo Lebs, and you know, telling people to kill themselves and uh, you know, instigating mean commentary is just never cool. You know, it's not cool. So let's just be kind. Let's a be kind moment. Um, I'm feeling really kind at the moment, so I'll probably cut that later because I'll feel like she seems a little preachy. Get off your soapbox, Taylor. Um, you know it's completely, again, an offshoot of a thought. A town troubadour. Remember in Gilmore Girls how there is a town troubadour? Why don't we have a town troubadour? Like, why don't we have a Westchester troubadour? You know, it's just like someone that like plays music and that's their only job is to just like hop around and be the town troubadour. Or like maybe you had one in your neighborhood. Like every neighborhood had a troubadour. I just like saying the word troubadour. It's like the word habitasher. I love the word habitasher. Um, my I was given uh I was assigned the name of Habidasher during my time in radio. There is a specific person who always called me habitasher because a habitasher is a tailor. Um, and so they're synonymous in my head. Okay. School starts soon. And by school, I mean like college starts soon. So I need to figure out how to communicate with my Gen Z students this year, and I really need some new vernacular. I need some new vocabulary because last year, not last year, last semester, I was getting a little stale towards the end. I could tell that they were like, what is she talking about? Because I wasn't, I wasn't speaking their language. Also, my classes are 8 a.m. They're 8 a.m. Also, I almost said sold out. I sold out tickets to my 8 a.m. class. No, all of my classes are sold out. They're all booked, which is awesome. But I okay, it's awesome if we think about it from the lens of they heard Taylor's a cool professor and they want to take her class, or she's so easy and so stupid, like she's getting. Give me one A, you gotta take it. But why else would you want to go to an 8 a.m.? And I have to take attendance. Like, I don't want to be a narc and I say that like the first day of class, but like I also don't want to lose my job. Also, we don't come to class if it rains or snows or ice or I'm just like really tired. Um, which like that happens, you know? It happens. I'm supposed to go to a winery tomorrow. I'm very excited about that. I have two choices for wineries. Okay. Let me just like throw this out to the audience, to the fans, to the big F's. Would you rather spend a night at a winery that's doing quizzo, topic unknown, straight up quizzo, or a musician who you can't find to their music on the internet. So you don't know if they're good or not. Quizzo, random musician. Quizzo, random musician. I don't know which side I'm going to go on. So I thought quizzo, but I hate games. I like to win, but I hate games. I also don't have the best track record at Quizzo. The last time I went to Quizzo, some woman was like, You're cheating. And I was like, I'm not even fucking playing. And she was like, no, you're cheating. And I was like, uh, I'm not cheating. To be fair, I'm not cheating at Quizzo. I also don't care that much. We're in the middle of, it was Newcastle. I think we were in the middle of Newcastle, Delaware. Like your population's like 40, okay? And then at the end, I said, I like went back up to her and I said, by the way, I didn't play this week because I won last week and I didn't take the gift card. And she was like, What? Because they give you a gift card. Usually if you win like Quizzo, they'll be like, here's a gift card to this establishment. I didn't take it. And I was like, I didn't take it because I didn't. It was like during COVID, by the way. So I was like, I didn't want to take money out of the pocket of the institution of like that we're at. And she had one quizzo. So she like took the gift card and I was like, that's really embarrassing for you and for society. I think her name was Marie. So Marie from Newcastle, I still have ill feelings toward you. Um, not that you care. You know what? A lot of you do care. Something beautiful and fun is that I can see everyone that views my profile. So if you've ever hated me or you've ever talked shit on me, it's great to like watch you view my stuff in real time because like you're still thinking about me. And I'm fucking crazy. So that means you're fucking crazy. Um, I I was gonna name drop. I'm not gonna name drop. Although a lot of people have reached out asking if I've stolen their DSW points. I let me be clear. I did that once. Okay? I stole someone's DSW points one time. Did she deserve it? Yes. Should she have raised a better son? Yes. If that's not your issue, if you've raised great kids, you're a great person, you got no beef with me out in the world, I'm not gonna steal your DSW points. But if you're asking me if I've like stolen your DSW points, now I'm going to. And I don't even shop at DSW anymore. Um, so there's that. I also like I love to take points from people at different places. I always steal my best friend's points at I almost said Ulta. I can't tell you the last time I stepped foot in an Ulta. Not because I don't like Ulta or like I disagree with their values. I don't know if they're there if there's a target situation going on there, but I go to Sephora because Sephora's next to my house. It's it's so bad. And I okay, so I went to Sephora last weekend, guys, and I got them to give I got them to give me. No, I bought. I I fucking paid for it, was like this under eye cream. So like maybe they're not as bad, but they're looking pretty bad. Whatever, whatever, whatever. It's hard being a woman, it's hard being a girl. Um I'm gonna finish my Fool Dunkin'. No, I'm not gonna finish my Fool Dunkin'. Like, like I said, this is crazy. The sizing. Did you see all the people that were here for the World Cup and they were like going to Walmart and going to McDonald's and they were like, look at the size of these meals, look at the Walmart. I love a Walmart. I love a Walmart. And the downside of a Walmart is the folk at Walmart are a little different. Like you can get yourself in a dicey situation if you're in a random town. But chances are walking into like your suburban Walmart, you're gonna be fine and you're gonna get candles for $3.99. Three wick candles for $3.99. And this isn't even a fucking ad. Like, I love the Walmart. I really do. I haven't been to a Target in years. Walmart? Still haven't been to a Walmart in years, actually. But I order from there. I sure do. I need a new vacuum. I think I'm gonna order it from Walmart. That's something about adulthood people don't tell you. You have to like buy new appliances and clean your house. Like, no, I don't, I don't love it. I was cleaning my um the top of my kitchen cabinets yesterday. Like, that's just so fucking tragic. Like, as a kid, I never thought like if I could like glimpse into my adult life, I'd be standing on top of my countertops, cleaning the top of my kitchen counters, making sure that the granite was like sturdy enough so I wasn't gonna slip in my socks, which I shouldn't have been wearing socks on the kitchen counters anyway. That's tragic in itself. I need to breathe. Yeah, that was long enough. That was a long enough breath. If you have not rated, subscribed, told me how much you've loved this podcast, then I don't know what you're doing in your life because we're trying to get those Spotify reviews up there. I am giving away a free month of rent, the runway. If you give us a review on Spotify, give us five stars. I'm going to be picking a random winner in October. So you still have a good 60 days. I don't know. There's a certain X amount. When's the last time you've done math? Do you speaking of, remember when you were a kid and your teachers were like, you're never gonna have a calculator in your pocket? Really? Because I fucking do now. I've never had to do math in the real world. This is going off the rails. I'm going off the rails. Go rate, review, subscribe. Taylor Taylor Taylor show, Taylor for underscores brook on Instagram. And I will see you guys next Tuesday.

unknown 28:10

Bye.