Taylor Taylor Taylor Show
Taylor’s got the charm of your funniest friend, the wisdom of someone who’s Googled it at 2 a.m., and the guts to spill the tea on her own life, embarrassing moments and all. Whether she’s interviewing intriguing guests, sharing industry secrets, promoting female rage, pop culture, or riffing on whatever’s trending, she’ll have you hooked faster than you can say “Taylor” (three times, obviously). It’s equal parts laugh therapy, real talk, and the kind of chaos you didn’t know you needed in your life.
Taylor Taylor Taylor Show
Aviation Misinformation
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Dave Cruise is back, and unfortunately, no one brought adult supervision. Taylor attempts to explain why airplanes cannot fly left, argues that ketchup is technically a smoothie, and reveals that she has somehow visited New York countless times without ever taking the subway. Along the way, Taylor and Dave investigate shirtless men, dad bods, whether the human brain eventually runs out of storage, the cultural decline of radio, Dune’s excessive sand, Taylor’s newly infamous eyes, and the devastating realization that neither of them was considered cool enough to join the workplace cult. This episode contains alcohol, geography misinformation, several unnecessary left turns, and absolutely no intention of returning to corporate America.
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Taylor. Taylor. Taylor. Hello and welcome back to the Taylor Dealer Taylor Show. I'm your host, Taylor Brooke, back with Dave Cruz, and we're talking about what's important in America right now, and that's how do you fly? You fly right to left on a plane. You can't fly left to right because of the wind.
SPEAKER_00Left to right.
SPEAKER_01So say you're going to Trinidad from California.
SPEAKER_00Let's pick a country that I have no idea on the globe where it is. If you gave me a fucking globe right now and said, Dave, point to a hundred countries, I would point to Canada and say it's Trinidad, Tobago. I don't know where it is.
SPEAKER_01Trinidad and Tobago is right by Africa. Right?
SPEAKER_00I don't.
SPEAKER_01Okay, he says no. John Craig says no. Allegedly, okay, say Europe. You're gonna go to Europe, Paris. Okay. You can't go left to right. You can't make a left, never eat shredded wheat. West. Make a left.
unknownWest.
SPEAKER_00I can't make a left.
SPEAKER_01You can't go west to get to Europe.
SPEAKER_00So if you're in if you're in Moscow, they have to go all the way around the globe to get to Europe rather than just going. No.
SPEAKER_01Then how did Sarah Palin get from Russia to Alaska?
SPEAKER_00Jesus Christ. Well, Russia's right across the whatever, the Bering Strait or whatever's there. Did I just make up a body of water?
SPEAKER_01The Gulf of America?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's right across the Gulf of America. Formerly known as the Gulf of Mexico. Russia's as close to Alaska as like Cherry Hill is to Philly, right? Like it's just right across a body of water.
SPEAKER_01So did she actually see Alaska? But to your point.
SPEAKER_00But to your point, that'd be left to right.
SPEAKER_01You can't go left to right. Does it make sense to anybody listening? Like you can't go left to right. You can't go west. You can only go east.
SPEAKER_00You can't go. So how do people in You can go south.
SPEAKER_01So you can go under, not over.
SPEAKER_00If you want to go from New York to LA, how do you get there?
SPEAKER_01Oh no shit. You do go left.
SPEAKER_00Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_01So it's been a long day. And I'm just, I'm tired, okay? I'm tired and I'm not drunk enough yet.
SPEAKER_00Is this how you drive too?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Oh my God. For the World Cup festival that we went to. So embarrassing. We went with my friend Rachel. My friend Rachel, she's a woman in the arts, a woman in STEM. She works, she's a news reporter. I show up to her house. She lives in a normal suburban neighborhood. And my GPS, it has stop one, Rachel's. Stop two, Dave's. So I'm like, okay, Rachel's. Get to Rachel's. It takes us eight minutes in the car. She touches my arm and she goes, I'm so sorry. Because she's so fucking sweet. She goes, I'm so sorry. And I don't mean to insult you, but we've been going in a circle for the past eight minutes because you never checked off that way.
SPEAKER_00So she just keeps taking you back to the same place.
SPEAKER_01But she waited like eight minutes to tell me. I was like, bitch, why?
SPEAKER_00Oh my god. Oh yeah, blame her. You think at some point she'd be like, why are we just going in a circle?
SPEAKER_01She did get quiet and I was like, Am I talking too much?
SPEAKER_00Well, I guarantee you talk the entire She wanted to tell you right away in minute one.
SPEAKER_01And I just didn't get quiet.
SPEAKER_00But there was no brakes, you just kept driving in a circle. There is, do you ever want to do a podcast while we're in the car?
SPEAKER_01I think that would be amazing.
SPEAKER_00I can know what Seinfeld did the one in the car.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, yes.
SPEAKER_00But I thought about two, like you talked about your whole left-right thing, which I'm still not sure. I understand what's happening. There's a podcast, and I can't think of the name, and not to promote a competing podcast. Well, I'm not gonna get the name right anyway. It's like two guys that have the same name. Say their name is like John or something.
SPEAKER_01It's like John Craig and John Craig.
SPEAKER_00But it's like two Johns don't make a right, and they go through New York and they never make a right turn. They can only turn left while they're doing interviews. They can only turn left, which you can imagine is hard in Manhattan to only make left. Yeah. And I thought that's a funny, that's a funny premise.
SPEAKER_01Only make right. I guess we just end up in a circle.
SPEAKER_00Taylor's always right, and you can only make rights. And you can only make right turns.
SPEAKER_01I love that.
SPEAKER_00I think that'd be kind of funny.
SPEAKER_01That's amazing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so you get so you get one of your real housewives on or something. Okay, yeah. Yeah, welcome to the Taylor's Always Right. We're gonna talk till we get to the destination, but I can only make right turns, so who knows how long it'll be.
SPEAKER_01Who knows if we're gonna get there? Actually, it's actually like serendipity, and we're just getting frozen hot chocolate.
SPEAKER_00And by the way, uh yeah, Taylor gave me this alcohol, so I sure did. I drank this one very fast. It's nine percent.
SPEAKER_01Watermelon crush. Yeah, these have I bought these recently and I was like, hmm, they're cute. I love good packaging, you know.
SPEAKER_00And it's premium.
SPEAKER_01It is premium.
SPEAKER_00Um, so I have uh bone to pick with you. And this is, I guess, more me insulting myself.
SPEAKER_01Oh, great. We love that.
SPEAKER_00Uh so I was working yesterday, and the way like I guess people, you know, used to be if you wanted if you wanted to go out with someone or you like someone, you'd ask for their number. Yeah. And they write it on a napkin or something stupid like that. Now it's the whole, oh, you want, oh, give me your Instagram or something like that.
SPEAKER_01Lord.
SPEAKER_00So this person wanted to see my Instagram, and one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, nine of the top ten things are a picture of you.
unknownGod damn it.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god, all that stuff like collab. Blonde girl, blonde girl, blonde girl, blonde girl, blonde girl. Hey, there's me. Blonde girl, blonde girl.
SPEAKER_01But you know what? That helps you.
SPEAKER_00It's all you. You're nine of the top ten.
SPEAKER_01That helps you because you look safe. A woman sees that, she's like, oh, he's safe to be around. Another woman of the blind.
SPEAKER_00One woman will be with him.
SPEAKER_01It's like the hot girl effect. Think about it. Think of your ugliest friend.
SPEAKER_00Hold on. Yeah, I know. Okay. Wait, a guy or girl?
SPEAKER_01Guy.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Your ugliest friend. Think about the one hot girl that he dated. Because every and did that change him? I bet it did.
SPEAKER_00How do you mean changed him?
SPEAKER_01Changed him. He got confident because one hot girl liked him. I bet there was a period of time, like six months, where he was like, I'm the coolest guy on the block. Because I got that girl on the block.
SPEAKER_00Did she eventually dump him?
SPEAKER_01I'm assuming, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Okay. But then did he go to another hot girl because now he has that confidence which radiates?
SPEAKER_01I don't think it's like that. I think like one hot girl's like mentally ill and she gives him a chance. And then she's like, she gets better and she's like, ew, why was I dating this guy?
SPEAKER_00I did see something that women, and you know, maybe I just intentionally look for stuff like this. Women are much more attracted to men who have dad bods than have great ripped. I think that's true.
SPEAKER_01I encourage my friends not to date the six-pack guys because if they're taking pictures of themselves in the mirror without a shirt on, ew.
SPEAKER_00That brings me to my pet peeve. I don't know if I mentioned this before.
SPEAKER_01I don't think so.
SPEAKER_00Grown men in public who are not wearing a shirt.
SPEAKER_01Why are they doing that?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01If I don't wear a shirt, people would call the cops. So I just don't think that's like fair from a feminist perspective, actually. So don't love it.
SPEAKER_00I I I don't like it because number one, either uh not to be judgmental, but whatever. Either your body is gross and no one wants to see it, put a shirt on. Or if you are just ripped and chiseled it's like, well, now I've now I feel like I have to go to the gym. You've ruined my day. You've ruined my ruined my day with your six pack and your muscles.
SPEAKER_01There's too much confidence there. I don't like it.
SPEAKER_00Well, and the worst part is when they don't even have a shirt. I can sort of get it if it's 95 degrees and you're running and you're at least holding a shirt. Yeah. If you don't even have a shirt, it's like you were at home where I'm assuming you have drawers full of shirts. You said, no, today's the day. It's nips out and we're just going out like this.
SPEAKER_01Well, maybe they're like you and they just keep ripping the t-shirts. So they they can't wear a button-up to run out.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Can't wear t-shirts anymore. It's only button-ups.
SPEAKER_01Not a lot of people agreed with you.
SPEAKER_00That what?
SPEAKER_01That it was hard to take off a t-shirt.
SPEAKER_00Well, no one showed how do you how do they take them off? Do people come? Can I have another drink?
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, yes, of course. So how do people um This is it's a cash bar that'll be six bucks, actually.
SPEAKER_00You got it? You got me? He's he's picking up the tap. You know what? Give her a 40% tip. What's 40% is zero? Um, so are you still on your first?
SPEAKER_01Yes. I actually'm there. Because I have somewhere to go.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god, that's embarrassing.
SPEAKER_01Tomatoes are fruits, right? Like that's a fruit.
SPEAKER_00Is it?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Like it's not a vegetable. Tomatoes are fruit.
SPEAKER_00I don't know. I don't need tomatoes. Or ketchup.
SPEAKER_01I think tomatoes are fruit.
SPEAKER_00Isn't it one of those things?
SPEAKER_01Tomatoes are fruits. I think it is. Yeah, tomatoes are botanically classified as fruit.
SPEAKER_00As they develop from a flower and contain seeds.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So don't don't you think that ketchup now is a smoothie?
SPEAKER_00This is like the flying left all over again.
SPEAKER_01The flying left.
SPEAKER_00So you mean you could just eat packs of ketchup? You just take the thing of Heinz and just shoot it in your mouth and it's a smoothie? Yeah. But there's more to a smoothie than just fruit. Like there's stuff in it.
SPEAKER_01Well, there's stuff in ketchup too. There's like sodium. So it's basically a smoothie. Remember that Asian family who got stuck in their car in the middle of the wilderness and then they survived for like eight days because they ate ketchup packets. What are you talking?
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_01It was like a lifetime documentary.
SPEAKER_00Was it a documentary?
SPEAKER_01I think so. I don't think it was a no, it wasn't fiction.
SPEAKER_00Is this some weird anime you watch?
SPEAKER_01It might have been anime.
SPEAKER_00Did the girl have a tail and bunny ears?
SPEAKER_01She did. She was adorable. They sexualized her too much.
SPEAKER_00Excellent. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But no, I think ketchup is a smoothie if you really think about it.
SPEAKER_00Okay. So so if someone comes to your place for a smoothie, you're like, hey, you want a smoothie? I make a great smoothie. You're just gonna take ketchup packets and into a cup full of ice.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I think that's beautiful at the end of the day. That's that was actually on my list of things to talk about, ketchup being a smoothie. Next to do you think blind people dream? And if they do, how do they dream? Because if you're blind, you can't see, right? So like do you dream in black?
SPEAKER_00Like your dreams are just nothing?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Think about it. If you're blind, like you can dream, like you can reach for the stars, metaphorically.
SPEAKER_00But like and I assume you're talking about someone who's like born blind, so they don't know what anything looks like.
SPEAKER_01I don't know. Like Stevie Wonder. Do you think he dreams? Probably he probably dreams in color.
SPEAKER_00That's fascinating.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Like Helen Keller?
SPEAKER_00You don't believe in.
SPEAKER_01I don't believe in. Actually, you know what? Someone else did Helen Keller the musical. So I need to sue them because that was my idea.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that was your idea.
SPEAKER_01But it wasn't just a black theater. I still want the sight and sound theater in Lancaster. Call me to do a Helen Keller experience.
SPEAKER_00I'm gonna take this podcast in a weird I was gonna say left turn, but I don't know where people are allowed to turn anymore based on our previous conversation. Uh I heard a Stevie Wonder thing, and this is very inspirational. I want to say it was somebody like Melissa Etheridge was on stage performing back in the day for like uh the Grammy Awards or something. And she was still kind of new. Uh, you know, the curtains open and she starts playing and jamming and singing. And at those award shows, usually everyone's very conservative, right? Everyone's dressed to the nines, they don't want to, you know, don't want to do it, so we're sitting there. And so she said she's really nervous, and she focused on one person standing in the audience clapping and dancing.
SPEAKER_01Stevie Wonder.
SPEAKER_00And it was Stevie Wonder, the only one in the whole auditorium that couldn't see her. Because he didn't well, because he didn't know. Oh everybody else was seated, not doing anything.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00But he heard he heard the music and he got up and just started clapping and dancing. And she's like, I focused on him, was like, yeah, I'm doing it. I wonder what it's like. Isn't that great?
SPEAKER_01Like imagine being unanchored by social burdens. Like you weren't like nervous about what people thought. You just like did stuff.
SPEAKER_00Like, oh I guess I have to wear pants.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, just like that. Yeah. Or like at concerts in general.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know, just like dancing and being funny. Like people look at you so weird when you dance at one point.
SPEAKER_00Well, they look at you weird when you dance.
SPEAKER_01That's true.
SPEAKER_00Is there the is there a video somewhere of you dancing that we can splice into this?
SPEAKER_01I have to. I have to put it because we talk about it so much, but I do have a video from Barnabies where I am horrifying. Yeah, it is horrifying. Like to be very clear, it's terrifying.
SPEAKER_00Is there anything that you do worse than dancing? Um You are the dancing version of Ben Simmons playing basketball.
SPEAKER_01Thank you so much for saying that. I think that's a beautiful thing to be compared to Fisherman Ben Simmons, formerly of Philadelphia. Um I think what do I do worse than dancing? I think I'm a ter I can cook an Italian dinner. Like I can make meatballs, sauce, everything from scratch. Ask me to do anything else, it's it's not happening.
SPEAKER_00Like to cook anything other than that?
SPEAKER_01I can't even make a traditional chocolate chip cookie. And I think I'm a great baker. Like there's just something, like I just am not great in the kitchen, you know? But I can do pasta and sauce and meatballs and all that. Which is great. So if Nate wants dinner, it's that or nothing.
SPEAKER_00You would think you and Nate would be bigger if it's just all meatballs and pasta every meal.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but now that I don't eat red meat, we don't make it as how is husband in the kitchen?
SPEAKER_00Does Nate do much? Oh, Nate cooks a lot.
SPEAKER_01He's a salmon earlier this week. Like he's he's pretty he loves that stuff. He loves to cook.
SPEAKER_00Do you like a guy that cooks? Like, is that a is that a turn on? Oh, yeah. When the husband can cook?
SPEAKER_01Because if I if not, I would have to do it. Okay. And like if not, I would just be ordering out every single night.
SPEAKER_00It's not a big aphrodisiac where it's sexy, it's just well, it's less I have to do.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Everything in my life is is there for convenience, including Nate cooking.
SPEAKER_00That's great. So I from what I learned as a single person, like you should know how to make as a guy one great dish. Oh, what's your just in case just in case you meet a girl and she's like, you know, what you know, what do you want to do? Blah, blah, blah. I want to go somewhere. She's like, oh, you know, if you can cook anything, I'll come over. I'm like, okay, uh now I have to make it.
SPEAKER_01What do you make? Hot dogs.
SPEAKER_00I would never share my hot dogs. I make um, and I wouldn't be able to do it now, uh, chicken cordon blue.
SPEAKER_01Did you ever dress up like chicken cordon blue?
SPEAKER_00What would that be?
SPEAKER_01People used to do that at the restaurant I used to work at. Like as a kid, and they would dress up as a chicken and they would put a cord around their neck and it would be blue.
SPEAKER_00Chicken cord on blue. Yeah. That's cute. By people, you mean you?
SPEAKER_01No, I didn't. JT was his name.
SPEAKER_00Do why are people dressing up at work? Like Halloween? Did you dress up?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00What was what was your did you have to dress up as food?
SPEAKER_01I don't think it was a requirement to dress up as food. I think I was a cat. I love a cat ear, you know, just easy breezy. Yeah. But okay, so we're going to be able to do that.
SPEAKER_00Girls can always pull off a cat.
SPEAKER_01It's easy.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Uh okay, so we should have to do that.
SPEAKER_00Did she take the black marker and do like a little whiskers and things?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's too much.
SPEAKER_00That's too much?
SPEAKER_01Okay, we need to talk about makeup though. Because I want everyone to know I'm wearing mascara today. Thank you very much. My eyes look normal. At least I hope. Yeah. Yay, yay. Because the pictures of my eyes on the internet are just terri it's terrible.
SPEAKER_00I don't understand this eye thing that's happened.
SPEAKER_01I don't get it.
SPEAKER_00Like Are people like I did when I sent you a message because I thought it was funny, screenshotting your eyes and then like spreading it and Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And then putting like commenting it or putting it places. I saw my sister today, like early, and she looked at me. She's off the grid. She's not on social media. She looked at me and she goes, Your eyes look nice today. And I said, Bitch, was this you? Did you start this? Do you have a burner account? And she was like, No, why would I do that? And I was like, okay. Duly noted.
SPEAKER_00So do you think the eye thing is a lack of mascara, or you just give like a like a fierce sort of No, I think it was a lack of mascara because they were like, How can she talk about sugar gay?
SPEAKER_01Look at her eyes. And I'm like, what is wrong with me? And I was like, is it the Botox? I don't think so. I don't get Botox up here. Maybe I need it.
SPEAKER_00Since then, have you been have you been super self-conscious about your eyes?
SPEAKER_01Yes. Yeah. Because it's like one of them, ChatGBT even said one of them is a different size than the other.
SPEAKER_00How does it get to that point in your day? Really? Did you input a picture and say what's wrong with these eyes? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I was like, chat, this is what people are saying about me on the internet. What do you think? She was like, Diva, it's fine, but like, yeah, they're right. And I was like, okay. That one eye is bigger? Yeah. One eye is bigger.
SPEAKER_00It's the right eye?
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. It's definitely bigger.
SPEAKER_01It's definitely bigger.
SPEAKER_00It's hard not to see it now.
SPEAKER_01I once you see it, you can't unsee it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01When I smile, one side is different.
SPEAKER_00It's almost like you might as well be a cyclops.
SPEAKER_01Um, okay, a little a little harsh, but I'll go fuck myself, I guess.
SPEAKER_00I'm gonna keep drinking.
SPEAKER_01I wish you were Stevie Wonder. You would have nothing but compliments. You'd be like, this no, you'd be like this girl's voice is so fucking annoying.
SPEAKER_00What color are your eyes? Are they blue? Blue.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. You have blue eyes too. Yeah, you do. What color are you? Yeah, they're blue. What do you think? What color do you think they are? You're colorblind. If people do not take screenshots of that and they just hate on me, I'm gonna have such a problem.
SPEAKER_00Hazel.
SPEAKER_01Hazel? Yeah. Is that also the name of your channel?
SPEAKER_00Just like the popular 90s band, Sister Hazel, all for you. Top 10 hit. You're welcome. Put it in here.
SPEAKER_01That's the name of someone that worked at Ben FM.
SPEAKER_00You're Sister Hazel, all for you. Nine-second intro for me to talk over. Song's 351 long.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god. Isn't it funny how you can remember intro times? Like I can remember them to a T and it's so freaky.
SPEAKER_00It is so weird.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I'll stop and be like, oh man, this song's an 18-second intro. Right. It's so strange. So weird. And like radio is in lost art these days, so no one's gonna understand that in the future.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Radio's cool. I wish radio were cool again, like in life.
SPEAKER_00What has taken the has taken the place of radio on the coolness factor?
SPEAKER_01I think podcasting. Podcasting. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um YouTube uh channels or no?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, Nate does that. Like he'll listen to YouTube in the car all the time. Okay.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But that's also like a boy thing, I think. Like movie breakdowns. He listens to them.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_01Like, do you listen to movies?
SPEAKER_00I like reaction channels.
SPEAKER_01I love reaction channels. That's what Cody Co. is. A reaction channel. Sugar gay.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, reaction channel.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, because I like, I don't know if this is why people like them, but being old, uh, like I love Prince and like movies from the 80s and 90s, so it's it's fun to watch younger people now first realizing prints or Shawshank Redemption or Caddyshack or stuff like that. That's such a good segue. Yeah, so that's why I like watching stuff like that.
SPEAKER_01Okay, this is so good. I need to hear your opinions on Michael Jackson.
SPEAKER_00What about him? The little boy part or the music part?
SPEAKER_01I'm a Michael Jackson apologizer because I love him.
SPEAKER_00Um did you see the movie?
SPEAKER_01No, of course not.
SPEAKER_00Jesus Christ. The biggest movie of the last three years. Nope, never saw it.
SPEAKER_01No, never seen it. Um I saw Obsession, and that was big for me, okay? That was very good. Such a good movie. Wait, you know what wasn't a good movie? Was uh the new Zendaya Robert Pattinson movie, the drama. Facts, John Craig. Facts. I feel I feel so validated by the way, when John Craig is like, yeah, that's true. I'm like, yeah, that is.
SPEAKER_00Uh speaking of Zendaya, I did watch uh the two Dunes this past week, Dune 1 and Dune 2, because Dune 3 is coming out in December. Did you watch the Dunes? No. They're too long? No, what too much sand?
SPEAKER_01Too much sand, too long. I also like was jaillocked in an apartment once where all these boys were watching Dune, and they were like, It's time to watch Dune. I was like, oh my god.
SPEAKER_00Is it more of a boy thing? That's what I think.
SPEAKER_01I think it's like a boy thing.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_01But you liked it.
SPEAKER_00I did like it, yeah. Okay. She's not in it enough. She needs to be in it more. You know what's it's it's 99% Chalamet, and he's a great actor and all, but and he's dating Kylie Jenner.
SPEAKER_01So that's a big plus for him.
SPEAKER_00Is that the one that used to be a man?
SPEAKER_01No, that's Bruce Jenner. Oh, uh, speaking of the Olympics, I didn't realize that the Olympics. The Olympics happen like when.
SPEAKER_00I would like to spend one minute in your brain to see how these synapses connect.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so the other day I was thinking and we were Googling, and me and my friend, we could not figure it out. How often did the Olympics happen? Because there's Summer Olympics, there's Winter Olympics, but they're in different countries, and then there's like like Bruce Jenner won like three different sports in the Olympics? Question mark? I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Maybe I mean that was 76. That was a long time ago.
SPEAKER_01Well, you knew the year.
SPEAKER_00Isn't it every two like every two years? So it's like so the winter's every four and s and the summer's every four, so they staggered them. Because they used to be back in the day, the winter and summer were in the same year. Oh. Then you had to wait four years for anything. Then I think they realized, well, this is dumb. Let's stagger them, so every two years you get something.
SPEAKER_01Okay. So when are the Olympics happening again?
SPEAKER_00I have no fucking idea. It could be today. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01I just Didn't we just have one? It's important for us to go to them, is what I'm getting at. Because we went to the FIFA thing, and I just think you and I should be at the Olympics as the cultural foundations of our generations. Is that what we are? You being Gen X question mark? Me being Gen Z.
SPEAKER_00Are you Gen Z?
SPEAKER_01I am because I'm 97. So like I'm not a millennial, even though I feel like one at heart.
SPEAKER_00What do they say about Gen Z?
SPEAKER_01They're annoying.
SPEAKER_00I could say that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00What do they say about my great generation?
SPEAKER_01People love Gen Xers. They love them because okay. Because let me ask you some Gen X questions. When you were a kid, what did your parents most frequently get on you about? Like what were they most annoyed about?
SPEAKER_00For me, I've the amount of hot girls I was bringing home.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_01You see, this is why Dave is canceled. This is why Dave is canceled. And he can never be on the podcast ever again until next week, I guess. Um these are pretty good, by the way, the Monacos. I'm a I'm a fan.
SPEAKER_00These are I'm gonna finish this whole box before I leave here, and then I'm gonna fall asleep in the car.
SPEAKER_01Well, we know how to we know how to prevent that. Falling asleep in the car.
SPEAKER_00How?
SPEAKER_01Cocaine.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, cocaine. It does keep you awake.
SPEAKER_01It keeps you awake.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but I need a stripper to give it to me. Yeah. Um, so to speak.
SPEAKER_01And I just got rid of my stripping pole, too. I was gonna give it to you, but I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_00What do you mean you got rid of it?
SPEAKER_01Got rid of it.
SPEAKER_00Too much damage at the last party?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, literally. We have marks in the hardwood floors because of the falling. Yeah, so.
SPEAKER_00Um back to your Gen X thing. I'm trying to think because back then I don't know if my parents got on me for anything because uh there was no concern about coming home. It was just you just stayed out until my mom would ring a cowbell.
SPEAKER_01Really?
SPEAKER_00At dinner time. Oh my god. At like six day you could hear for blocks, and that's when it was time to come home. That's so but you know it's but you know, it's climbing trees, riding your bike to someone's house, and just come home when you hear the cowbell.
SPEAKER_01That sounds beautiful. Because now like kids are just like on iPads, I guess. Yeah. So it's like such a discrepancy from then to now. My sister would stay outside until my mom would call her.
SPEAKER_00Did your parents get on you about anything? Like I don't think it was uh I mean maybe homework, but whatever.
SPEAKER_01No, my parents would get on they'd be like, Listen, we don't they'd be like, We don't know who puts so much pressure on you, but like you don't have to like be this aggressive with school. Really?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, the absolute- You were aggressive at school and they told you to slow down.
SPEAKER_01I uh have always had a four point.
SPEAKER_00Well, that's why you're a professor.
SPEAKER_01I've always had a four-point now. Always my whole life. I've been uh obsessed with like school and learning. And to the point where like in college it was a Saturday night, my mom and dad looked over. We were like watching Mad Men. They were like, Don't you want to go out tonight? And I was like, What? This is our night. Like we Wow. Like I was so lame. I would do all of my homework on Fridays and Saturdays so I could have Sunday as like my relaxed day.
SPEAKER_00Like I was So that's the opposite of what everyone else does. Totally. They go out Friday, Saturday, and then Sunday at like 8 p.m.
SPEAKER_01they're like, oh crap.
SPEAKER_00I would 20-page report due tomorrow.
SPEAKER_01I was putting on my good old Real Housewives at the age of like 17, 18 years old and doing all my papers. Yeah, I like love school. Like that's why I'm on Substack now. Follow me on Substack. That's where I write all my feminist essays.
SPEAKER_00Um, and I'm proud to say, being a Gen Xer, I don't know what Substack is. I've never heard of it.
SPEAKER_01It's basically like you can put articles up there and then people give you a monthly fee to read them. So it's like the New York Times.
SPEAKER_00So you're like the New York Times.
SPEAKER_01I'm just I think that should be a quote. I'm putting all the fun quotes that people say about me on my website, by the way.
SPEAKER_00Okay, kind of like movie reviews do.
SPEAKER_01Well, Brittany Bateman, Raw Houseways of Salt Lake City, she said casually, she said, Oh, Taylor, you're an icon. I called my web guy. I said, Nick, put it on the website.
SPEAKER_00Pull it and put it on. And it says, You're an icon. What was the word after icon? Iconic bitch is what she said.
SPEAKER_01She said, You're a fucking cunt, actually.
SPEAKER_00Well, that's what like movies do, right? Like the oh, you know, Gene Siskel said it was spectacular. Yes. Oh, it was a spectacular disaster. But they well, we'll leave that word off.
SPEAKER_01That's exactly what I'm doing. That's how my whole PR team works.
SPEAKER_00You have a team?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's me and my Gen Z correspondent Stephanie. Okay. You've met Stephanie.
SPEAKER_00Have I?
SPEAKER_01Uh at the bar in Westchester. Yes. Meh.
SPEAKER_00Sure.
SPEAKER_01Sure. Speaking of, are you free the weekend? You're gonna be around the weekend, like Saturday maybe.
SPEAKER_00This weekend? Yeah. Um, I will answer that once I know what's going on.
SPEAKER_01Oh, okay. Ooh, what's in the works? What you have other friends, other plans?
SPEAKER_00No, I have nothing going on, but I don't know what you're gonna ask me to do. I have nothing to do from now till the end of the year. Um but I may be busy.
SPEAKER_01But you may be busy. That's totally fine. Why?
SPEAKER_00What's happening?
SPEAKER_01Oh, I was gonna go to the winery on Saturday and I just didn't know if you wanted to to pound some back. I was gonna invite Michelle first anyway. And if she can make it come back. My cousin Michelle. Um, okay, so this is these are some questions that I just thought up.
SPEAKER_00Oh God.
SPEAKER_01Do you have you ever sneezed in your sleep? And can that happen? Well, you've you've been driving. Imagine driving, and then you sneeze, and you're like, fuck, that was a scary moment. Do you ever sneeze in your sleep? Probably not. I've never seen someone sneeze in their sleep, and I watch a lot of people sleep.
SPEAKER_00Do you watch a lot of people? You seem like you would do that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_00Which is why you're best friends with the girl from obsession.
SPEAKER_01That's me.
SPEAKER_00Um I don't do you do have you No. I've never seen My favorite part in Obsession, by the way. I know everything we do is taking a left turn, which apparently I know you can't.
SPEAKER_01You can't go left.
SPEAKER_00God's taking a right turn. We're going straight, but I'm changing lanes. Is do you remember the moment in obsession where a bunch of shit happens, they're laying in bed together. I think we just realized the craziness is going on. Okay. He gets up to start to leave the bed, and she goes, No. Yes. And he just gets back a bit. That's when I thought of him like, that is exactly what Taylor would do.
SPEAKER_01Literally. When she was in the corner.
SPEAKER_00Have you done that?
SPEAKER_01Probably.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Uh but sneezing in bed, I don't think so. Okay, so you've got to go to the case. Yeah, I don't know if you can sleep. Also, uh, but it's one of those things where living by myself and any girl that comes over, I make them leave via the rope ladder off the balcony. Do you think they love? I I don't I don't know if I talk in my sleep because I never let anyone stay over.
SPEAKER_01You should put a camera and then go back and watch it. Like videotape you sleep. You would be surprised what you find out. People do that on the internet.
SPEAKER_00Find out that what do you think I'm doing? Like jerking off in the sleep?
SPEAKER_01You could be, and then think about it. That would explain a lot. Jesus Christ. Okay, do you think?
SPEAKER_00I'm exhausted when I wake up. And my forearm is huge.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Moving on. This is something else that I thought about.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_01So the other day I was in my bag sorting through things and I saw a hard drive, and I was like, huh. How many terabytes does this?
SPEAKER_00Wait, you were you were where?
SPEAKER_01In my bag, like just sorting things.
SPEAKER_00And there's a hard drive in your bag?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's the bag in my car, yeah. Um, type of like a bunch of hard drives because like I bring the portable hard drives where I go to film. Okay, anyway. Yeah. Okay, so I was looking at the terabytes on it, and I thought, wow, if you thought of a human as a hard drive, how many terabytes do you think we could hold? Do you think that we like get a certain like terabyte thing and then we have to like delete files, delete memories to make room for new ones?
SPEAKER_00Oh, I'm I'm sure that happens. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So where do you think they go?
SPEAKER_00Well, because that's why when I go to New York, I refuse to learn the subway system. Because I'm sure once I learn the subway system, I'll forget how to use a fork. Like it's gonna take something out of there.
SPEAKER_01Wait, I have something so out of touch to say.
SPEAKER_00Perfect.
SPEAKER_01This is so out of touch. I've n I go to New York a lot. I've never been on the fucking subway.
SPEAKER_00Never once? Never once. Is it because you're afraid you're gonna it'll all of a sudden say, Welcome to Canada? Like, oh, I went a little too far.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, or like I just feel like bad things happen on the subway. You know, like someone's gonna stab me or shoot me or kill me or rob me.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_01And like that's just not my path or my journey. Or I'd get on the wrong bus or train. What is it down there? A tube? It's like Paris, right? Like I've been on the underground in Paris.
SPEAKER_00Sure, it's just like the Paris tube. Same thing.
SPEAKER_01Do you think?
SPEAKER_00No, you'll be you'll you'll 100% die.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um Yeah, I don't know about the terror. Like, if it gets full, then you call like the Geek Squad and they come and clean it out. Then you have more memory, and you're like, oh, now I can take the subway and memorize it.
SPEAKER_01And that's what a lobotomy does. It takes a little bit out of it.
SPEAKER_00Do they still do that?
SPEAKER_01No. I've inquired. Let's make the podcast a little better. So I think that we are like hard drives, right? Um, the last thing on my list is uh think about walking in New York. You pass a billion people. You probably pass like 10 murderers, 10 people that have killed someone every time you're just like walking through the street. How does that make you feel scared?
SPEAKER_00Insulted that they didn't feel me important enough to murder.
SPEAKER_01It's like that guy at the radio station who asked everyone to be in the cult. Were you there for that?
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_00Why? See, again, I didn't get asked to be in the cult.
SPEAKER_01No, me neither.
SPEAKER_00Just like you never get asked to do drugs.
SPEAKER_01Wait, I wasn't asked to be in the cult either. So I confronted him and I said, Why don't you want me in the cult? And he was like, It's not a cult. And I was like, Okay.
SPEAKER_00So What what kind of cult was this?
SPEAKER_01I don't know. I'll have to ask Nicole. Because I think she Why was she in the cult? No, she was asked. Damn it. She's just cooler looking than both of us, you know? Like she has that edge. Yeah. Um, and we don't have that edge, we just have legal problems. So thank you everyone for listening to this episode of the Taylor Taylor Taylor show. If you have not rated the episode, given it five stars, please go do that. Please subscribe. Please get these numbers up there because we want to keep making this content for you. But to be honest, we're gonna do it, whether you subscribe or rate or not. It's too far gone. I can't go back to corporate America.
SPEAKER_00So y'all are still we'll still show up. We bought it, we bought like a 10-pack of pods, so we gotta keep coming back nine more times after this. So sorry.
SPEAKER_01And ask for John Craig as your engineer. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Taylor Taylor Taylor Show, and we'll see you next Tuesday.