Single & Set Apart: Learning to Be Alone With God

In this episode of For Such a Time As This, I sit down with my friend Lamont to talk about what it’s looked like for him to truly be single for the first time and begin letting God take the lead in his life.

We talk about the tension of wanting control while learning to trust that God’s plan is better than our own even when it doesn’t happen on our timeline.

In this conversation, we also dive into:

• Breaking old relationship patterns and unhealthy cycles

• Learning not to fall back into the same habits from past relationships

• The reality of loneliness and how everyone experiences it differently

• Taking time to grow, heal, and get closer to God

• Letting God reshape your desires and direction

This episode is honest, relatable, and a reminder that growth often starts when we finally stop trying to drive everything ourselves.

Season 2, Single & Set Apart, is all about calling, timing, and trusting God in every season of life.

🎧 Listen now and join the conversation.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:04

Welcome back to another episode of Perfect Timers This is a podcast about calling, timing, and trusting God in the season that you're actually in, not just the one you hope to be in. My name is Bethany and I'm your host. This season is our second season. It's called Single and Set Apart. So I'm talking to um Christian singles or people that were single kind of later in life but aren't single anymore. Um and I'm super excited for what you guys might learn in this season. Um so let's just sit back, relax, and see what God might have for you in this episode. Hey guys, this is my friend Lamont. So we are here on another episode of For Such a Time as This. I am so excited to have you here today. Thanks for joining.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

Of course. I'm glad I'm glad to be here. Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_03 0:50

Of course. All right, so let's just jump right in.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

What's up?

SPEAKER_03 0:54

What's your singleness journey look like so far?

SPEAKER_00 0:57

Singleness journey. Well, this is probably the first time in my life that I've been on this singleness journey.

SPEAKER_03 1:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

Um, I was in a three-year relationship last year. Well, yeah, three years in a relationship with that person, and then I was in a relationship with somebody before that for three years. So this is the first time in my life where I'm on a single journey, and it's kind of different. Um, I'm used to having somebody to love, you know, and to care for. But, you know, things happen, and I think right now for me, um, this is important for me, not just the individual, um, but just learning about myself. I think for so long I was trying to learn others, but I didn't really know me myself. Yeah. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:54

How like fast did you jump from one to the other?

SPEAKER_00 1:57

Um, so it was it was I want to say maybe six months. Okay. Um, well no, maybe it was longer than that. I was talking to somebody that actually became my girlfriend. Um we didn't make it official or we were dating or whatever. And we made it official. It was probably actually a year.

SPEAKER_01 2:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

Um, but you know, from that dating, it was about six months. Um, then you know, that was another three years. But yeah, now I'm here and it's just me.

SPEAKER_03 2:33

So how long have you been single now? Like how long has this journey been?

SPEAKER_00 2:38

Six or seven months now. Uh here we go with six again. But yeah, another six or seven months. But right now, I'm not I'm not really talking to anybody or dating anybody. Just like I said earlier, just learning about myself. Which is good, yeah. Um that's needed. And not just not like I said, not just about myself, but spiritually about me and just being prepared for when I am, you know, when I have my wife or whatever, but just this this uh I named this year um all about Lamont. And not saying and not saying don't care about other people, but it's more so getting the foundation right with me. So that's sure 2026 has been a good year for me. So good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:26

I love that.

SPEAKER_00 3:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 3:27

Yeah, and I think you're still young, right? How old are you?

SPEAKER_00 3:29

I'll be 26 in wow, uh 22 days. Okay. So three weeks. Three weeks. I'll be 26.

SPEAKER_03 3:37

Yeah, I think like having a like singleness for a little while to like focus on yourself is really important. I went from uh I was, I mean, I was single like through high school and all that, but then when I started dating, I was in a relationship for two years, like from like 19 to 21, and then like really, really, really fast. I don't know how fast, like three or four months later, was in another relationship for like three or four years. So now I've been single for like five years, but I think that the this has been necessary very much necessary. Because like after I broke up with my past ex, I was like, I never even really processed the first relationship and like all the trauma and everything from the first one that I progress and everything. Yeah, so I had to process like my first relationship and my second relationship and go through like a whole bunch of healing, growth, all the things it took a while.

SPEAKER_00 4:32

Because I think sometimes too, as people, we fall into this thing of like loneliness and wanting to be held or with somebody to feel whole, but uh you're whole with this year by yourself.

SPEAKER_03 4:47

So Lord, you're whole with the Lord.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

And whole with the Lord, absolutely. Um but sometimes, like I said, sometimes we fall into this thing of no, I just wanna be with somebody, but that may not be the season for you to be with somebody. Yeah, this may be the season for you to just learn about yourself, grow, and then boom, once you know, you'll figure out who you're supposed to be with or whatever, with the guidance of the Lord. Oh, you just don't jump into anything. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:18

And I think so. I even I had a someone I dated like exclusively, like we never like labeled it or anything, but last year um for a couple months, and even like getting back into that after like four years of being single, I think there are still then some things you're gonna learn like once you get back into a relationship, because once I got back into that, I was like, oh, I didn't really fix this as much as I needed to fix it.

SPEAKER_00 5:41

And it's like not falling, yeah, not falling back into the same trends or you know how you were in a relationship dependency and all of that. Just more so take what you've learned through the journey and apply it to a new relationship, but also too, like you say, you'll still learn and right, you'll still learn when you get back out there.

SPEAKER_03 6:04

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 6:04

It's always learning, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_03 6:07

Literally, I'm I think we're just gonna be learning and growing our whole life.

SPEAKER_00 6:10

That's kind of what you're gonna have.

SPEAKER_03 6:12

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 6:14

For sure.

SPEAKER_03 6:15

What do you think? What's the hardest part or the most um like tension-filled part of being single?

SPEAKER_00 6:23

I would say the hardest part, um, like I said, is more so just being alone. Um, like I, you know, for me, I was with somebody, you know, for a long consecutive, you know, period of time and then with another person. Um, so I don't even know what alone is, really. Right. Um, but that's really the hardest part for me. I think right now in this season, uh, I've been leaning on my you know, spirituality, of course, but also my family. So my old my one of my sisters, I have a lot of sisters, but she has also been going through a journey of um dealing with somebody and not dealing with them no more. So we've really been leaning on each other to try to get through, um, whether that's sending, you know, uplifting messages in the morning to each other uh or a uh sermon or whatever, or just us talking on the phone and just being in each other's presence. And actually me and her, our relationship has gotten a lot, we've gotten a lot a lot closer this year um because of our situation.

SPEAKER_01 7:37

So that's nice, you know, and everything happens.

SPEAKER_03 7:41

Somebody to talk to that relates for sure.

SPEAKER_00 7:43

So yeah, I'm alone. Um well, I won't say I'm alone, but I don't have, you know, I'm not dealing with anybody, but to lean, like you said, on your community. Um that that makes me whole. I don't feel alone. I know of course I'm single, but I don't feel alone and I I love where I am right now.

SPEAKER_03 8:04

So we love that. Do you think you still kind of have a wrestle between like the desire to be like out there and with someone and like trying to still be content and where the Lord has you?

SPEAKER_00 8:16

Uh of course. I feel like I wouldn't be human if I didn't have those feelings. Um, but at the same time, too, when you lean in, like so for me, we go to Union, of course. Um fast uh prey 21 was very helpful for me during this journey. Like I this is probably the most I've leaned in to God in my life. Um, because one, I'm not depending on a person or whatever, and of course, I'm not saying me and God weren't locked in, you know, when I was getting with people, but it's different. Yeah. Oh, sure. So, you know, I was in church every day for pray 21. That was the first time I've did that.

SPEAKER_03 9:00

Oh, that's awesome. Picking up at six was yeah, you don't even have to wake up at six, you have to be there.

SPEAKER_00 9:05

Yeah, be there is exactly right, right, right. So be being there at six, um, yeah, and every day. And actually when pray 21 was over, it was kind of like weird. I'm like, I'm used to missing. Yeah, I'm just being in church every day. Um and I was sad too because we had some snow days, so we know we weren't in the building.

SPEAKER_03 9:25

So I feel that. But I yeah, this same like when I ended my long-term relationships, I was like, I found the Lord in like new ways and fell like I felt like I fell in love with the Lord again. It was really, really cool.

SPEAKER_00 9:37

Yeah. So like I said, prey 21 was beautiful for me. Um, I definitely leaned in a whole lot. I was, of course, praying, fasting. I lost weight during a fast, um, and which was one of my goals for this year.

SPEAKER_03 9:52

There we go. Up that.

SPEAKER_00 9:54

Um, and you know, this is the first time too I leaned in on a Bible and reading every day through the night. And when you're fasting and praying, you're not even thinking about food. So and I'm not a reader. Don't I hate I hate reading. However, um, January was, and it's still even now, um, I really enjoy reading the Bible.

SPEAKER_03 10:18

Yeah. Um that's one of those things, once you do it, like the longer you do it, the more you like want to do it. Yeah, it is. That's cool.

SPEAKER_00 10:25

I I don't even have any words like this is the first time I finished Genesis and Exodus, and oh, you know, I I finished a few I finished a few books in the Bible, and I'm still, you know, we had to plan for um pre-21 with the Bible plan for the year. I've been leaning on it.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 10:44

I'm actually a few weeks ahead. Okay. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:48

So those first couple books of the Bible, like, we love them, but they're a little hard to get through sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 10:54

Yes. So I'm familiar. Um I actually have in my notes, I'm like, I'm gonna need to read Exodus again and lean into research and all of that. Yes, yes, yes. For sure. That's one of those chapters or books in the Bible where it's like this can get confusing, and you're gonna have to reread that a couple times to grasp what's going on there.

SPEAKER_03 11:16

So yeah, what what translation do you use? Because sometimes that helps.

SPEAKER_00 11:20

Um, so my Bible is NIV. Well, I have an NIV Bible and I have a New King James Version Bible. Now on my phone, I have Right, that's true. What I different versions. Yeah. Um, so when I read in the morning, I have I read all of them, so I can really get a consensus of I have uh new international version, new King James version, NLT, King James, um N A NASB, the message, all of those I read every morning because of course they're saying the you know, they have all the same general message, but I just want to feel like understand differently.

SPEAKER_03 12:00

That's good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:01

Yeah. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:04

That's good. Do you feel like there's pressure, whether it's in your own self or like from other people at church, your family, to like get back in a relationship because like, come on, you need to get married.

SPEAKER_00 12:17

No, I don't I don't feel any pressure at all. Um, but I will say there are times like we were talking about earlier, of course, like you want the you want the wife, you want the kids, you want the big ticket fence house or whatever. Right. Um, but no, there isn't pressure for me. For me, it's more so just preparing myself because I know God has something great. Um, so yeah, no pressure. I'm just good. I'm just in the move, in a season of just being alone and preparing. I I feel like we don't prepare a lot. We're we're so ready to jump like and don't know, and we don't use God as guidance. Right. Um, I know for me, uh there's a lot that has been done with you know, in my own will. And this year, like I said, with praying and fasting, I surrender. God, you have all control because in my own will and control is not good. Not saying it's not good, but it's not how you win it.

SPEAKER_03 13:24

It's not as good as it would be if it was in his control. And when you do that and you like step back and are like, I don't know anymore. Lord, here you go. That's when the best stuff happens. So you're in the right place.

SPEAKER_00 13:35

Exactly. So you have it, God. You have the you have the wheel. I am in the back seat because sometimes you can tell God, like, hey, you got the wheel, but wanna be in the passenger seat drive of the car. Yeah, you yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm in the back seat. I'm laying down, you have it.

SPEAKER_03 13:54

So on that analogy.

SPEAKER_00 13:57

Because I don't want to be outside the car, then I don't know what you know. But I'm in the back, and you have full control. I got the seat. I have the seatbelt over here on that. All the seat belts are on. You got it. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:08

Love that. Do you uh find yourself like comparing where you are to where other people are though?

SPEAKER_00 14:15

Um no. I've all so I'll say this with um well that's one of the uh commandments, thou shalt not covet. Um but no, but no, I don't really compare myself. I always thought I don't want to sound so I don't know, but I don't I never really compare myself to anybody. I always thought um I was different from everybody. Yeah. Um I always like my friends, I always had older friends because the people my age or younger, they just didn't. I'm I'm more of a wisdom guy. So people my age and younger, they always look for me. Hey, you know, they so in high school my nickname was Uncle Mont.

SPEAKER_01 15:03

Oh okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:04

So, you know, they always look for me like, hey, you know, what do you think about this? What do you think about that? And it's more so me giving the wisdom, but I had those people higher up, friends, family, or whatever, that community that I lean on because I've always thought I was older than what I what I am. You know, I listen to older music, um, and just being around older people, they have something I don't have, and that's wisdom. Um, they've gone through things that I haven't or have, you know, and I can lean on to them to, you know, either feel like, okay, I'm not alone in this, or you know, okay, not to do this. Um, so no pressure. Um, but of course, you kind of sometimes us as individuals, we put pressure on ourselves to try to be like, oh, well, I'm this age, and you know, but it's really at the end of the day, it's God's timing.

SPEAKER_01 15:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:59

Um and once you once you get to that point or you know, I I usually like to tell people, if you change your perspective, you won't really worry about a lot. Um, and once you're, you know, once your perspective changes, once your mind changes, everything will be okay.

SPEAKER_03 16:18

That's so good. I love that. So what's something that God has like taught you in this season?

SPEAKER_00 16:24

Lean on me. Stop worrying about the outside noise. Um, so for me as well, with the well, I actually kind of did it last year, but I I've been off social media. Oh, okay. Um so just being getting out of the world stuff, the worldly stuff. Um I've I'm off Instagram, I was off TikTok, but TikTok I've I've gradually got back on. Um and I'm off everything else. And it's more so like not I don't want to say the world is bad, because it's good is good in the world, but we sometimes get distracted on what our main purpose is. Yeah, for sure. Um, and that was that was a focal point for me for fasting and praying in January. It's more so like I don't want any distractions. Yeah, I just want to be locked in, me and God, and we're gonna go on this journey um together. Um, I did tell myself I was gonna do pray, pray, uh, pray and fasting again, um, probably sometime soon. Um but and that was another thing too. I so I think we started on I want to say the 11th. Yeah, but I started a week early because I was in like at the beginning of January? Yeah, okay. I was more so like, why not? You know, why wait? So so yeah, I had a few more days that I did for praying and fasting.

SPEAKER_03 17:57

But I love that.

SPEAKER_00 17:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:59

Um, were there are there any like beliefs that you've had to unlearn about your worth or about marriage or anything like that in the season?

SPEAKER_00 18:09

No, I would say no. I don't think I had any had anything to unlearn.

SPEAKER_03 18:16

Um there's just lots to learn.

SPEAKER_00 18:18

Because there's lots to learn. Um, and also that all marriages aren't the same.

SPEAKER_03 18:24

Right.

SPEAKER_00 18:25

Um, you know, you see, you know, your parents or your friends or whatever, and you look at their marriages and it's just like, oh well, you know, this marriage isn't just isn't like this one or whatever. Um, but then you start to think like, Well, I wonder what my marriage will be like. Um, but other than that, I don't there isn't anything I had to unbelieve or unbelieve in this journey. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:51

Um, so how are you are you even trying to navigate the dating world nowadays? No, you're just fully surrendered.

SPEAKER_00 18:59

I'm fully surrendered. I am backed away. Um guys, don't get me wrong, date or whatever. But for me right now, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:09

We all have our time with eating it to like be single.

SPEAKER_00 19:12

Yeah, so for me right now, like I said, you know, being in long relationships or whatever, right now for me is more so singleness, singleness, learning about me, preparing myself, being in God's word. Um, and of course, somebody will come, you know. Of course, I'm not expecting them to jump from the sky.

SPEAKER_03 19:34

You know, just go laying in your lap.

SPEAKER_00 19:37

Well, God, you are a man of mirac many miracles, so you know, but no, I I would say for me right now, being single um is helpful for me because it's the first time I'm alone where I can really lean in on God. Um and this first time in my life where I really leaned on him the most because so I wouldn't feel the loneliness or whatever, because he he say lean on to me, and you know, everything will be fine. So I'm I'm good where I am.

SPEAKER_03 20:11

I love that. Hey you guys, it's me again. Don't worry, I'll be right back with our guests. I just wanted to take a moment and say thank you so much for spending time with us today. I hope you're enjoying the episode so far. Let's sit and think about what might have been said that can relate to your life today. And if you're enjoying it, make sure you like, subscribe, follow, comment, all the things you can find us on YouTube for such a time as this with Bethany Garner, or you can find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Alright, let's get back to them. Um what do you think when we think about the church, not our church that we go to, but like just the American church, what do you think the church could do better as far as like speaking into singleness?

SPEAKER_00 21:04

I would say what the church can do. Our church is great, uh by the way. Um I think they do an amazing job with their relationship series and just not condemning people. I think a lot of churches and like I said, with the worldly stuff, a lot of churches and like worldly people condemn you for whatever you've done, right? Right. And we're all human, we all make mistakes, but God has grace. Um, and that was another thing I learned this year, was more so like, yeah, you can screw up or whatever, but at the end of the day, God's grace is so beautiful. Um, of course, He don't want you to keep making the same mistakes.

SPEAKER_01 21:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:50

But you know, He He's forgiving. Um, and you know, not saying your choices won't have any consequences, and and consequences could be good or bad. Bad. However, you know, God's grace is so so beautiful where you know you can mess up, but He don't He doesn't even condemn me for it. So I think you know sometimes people will switch or change what He said in His Word. Of course, you he was harsh in the Old Testament. Don't get me wrong. He was a little harsh, but you know, that's why Jesus came, you know, to forgive, you know, die for our sins, and we're forgiven for it. So um that's what I think the world and other churches can do is don't condemn people because we're all learning, we don't have all of the answers. Um, yes, of course, the Bible. So I don't know if you know this acronym, I use it. Um, Bible is basic instructions before leaving Earth.

SPEAKER_03 22:51

Oh, I don't think I've heard that one.

SPEAKER_00 22:54

That's good. Um, but I would say, yeah, just just don't condemn people because we're all learning at the end of the day, um, and we're all trying to figure it out. So um, yeah. We're we're all the same. Of course, you know, even when the people that do the condemning or whatever, you were once you were once a person where you were screwing up or messing up or whatever, and you wanted that same grace. So give other people that same grace as well.

SPEAKER_03 23:28

Yeah, that's good.

SPEAKER_00 23:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:30

All right. Some questions that like we just need some like single men's opinion.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

Okay, what's that?

SPEAKER_03 23:35

What's that? There's so much like in the church, there's so many different opinions. Like when you ask for um, like how should we go about dating? Like, I feel like there's so many people. Some people are like, just wait, it'll happen when it happens, it'll come around when it comes around. Just like lean on God. And then some people are like, you gotta put yourself out there. Um, where what what is the balance there?

SPEAKER_00 24:00

I was I was about to say there's a fine b I was just about to say there's a fine balance. Um, but I would say, of course, you know, lean into God. Um, you know, pray first, first, prayer is our first response, not our last. So if there's a person you're interested in, pray about it, you know. You may have you may need to pray multiple times about it. I'm sure one prayer, you know, you pray about it and you won't get the answer right away. But I'll say too, of course, if you're looking for somebody or looking to be or looking to date somebody, you of course have to put yourself out there. Nobody's coming at your front door knocking, like, hey, this is who I am, and this we're supposed to be together. That would be nice, you know. That would be nice. Um, I remember actually early on in this journey with myself, I said, God, you know what? You're gonna have to, oh well, I said, when Jesus, who was it, um, when he came back and was showing the holes in the disciple's hand, I said, Yeah, God, you're gonna have to send Jesus back to tell me who I'm supposed to marry because you know, you had to come back in your physical being to tell me who I'm supposed to marry, but of course, that was me just being crazy or silly.

SPEAKER_03 25:25

I've heard other people be like, I'm not dating again again until the Lord comes down, sits on my bed, and tells me this is my person.

SPEAKER_00 25:32

And you know, and and from that, people say that because of things that go wrong or things that go wrong in relationships, or it wasn't how they intended it to be. But at the end of the day, we have to check ourselves. Yeah. Um what how did we play a part in either the collapse of the relationship or or anything? Um, because we often tend to blame other people, um, but we also play a part as well. Um, and that would I feel like that's another thing with relationships is communication. We all have different communication styles. And if we don't know how to communicate, then everything will go left. But also too, you have to be s with someone who is equally yoked or spiritually yoked as you. Yeah. Um, not saying that you can't have somebody and you introduce them to church and they're growing their faith and y'all, y'all doing, y'all are doing the thing, you know, but at the same time, too, there has to be some sort of give, like that person has to give to you spiritually, and the same for you. Um and I'll say another thing with relationships um is our love languages.

SPEAKER_01 26:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:58

We have to we have to love people in their own love language. I think at times we love people in our love language, yeah, which isn't their love language, which it's nice, but there's it's not their like love language.

SPEAKER_03 27:13

And and like if you don't understand that, you're like, it does not go well.

SPEAKER_00 27:19

Right. So I mean, you know, you can have conversations with people like, yeah, this is what I like, this is what I love, this is my love language. But if they're not loving you in in your specific love language, then it's it can be draining because the other person may feel like, well, I'm doing everything, you know, that that I'm doing, you know, I think it's their love language, but that's why we need to communicate, right? Have these hard conversations. And you know, I think that's where some relationships fall. Um one with the communication styles, but two not loving each other's loving each other in our own love languages. Yeah. So that's good.

SPEAKER_03 28:01

That's love languages are like one of my favorite things. So because I like love to understand people and like how they work and what they want and drives them. Um so, but that was a big like fight in my last relationship because my ex's um love language was like words and words of affirmation. Yeah, words of affirmation, and mine is like quality time and touch.

SPEAKER_01 28:21

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:22

So I'd be like, want to be around him all the time. And he's like, Can I like have some space? And I'd be like, fine, fine. And then he'd like want like me to encourage him. And I got to the point where like I understand the love languages, I understand that you like need words, but I would have to like remind myself, like, oh, he needs me to like affirm him. Right. So let me think of how like different ways I can affirm him. And if I hadn't like stepped back and like thought of that, like he would have been not feeling loved, I'm not feeling loved, it just doesn't right.

SPEAKER_00 28:51

It's a balance, honestly. It's a balance. And I think for me, even looking, looking on past relationships where, like I said, where I could be better. Um, I think most of the people I was with, their love languages was words of affirmation. If I affirmed them more, maybe I would have gotten the love, you know, my love languages, you know, my love languages like yours, quality time and touch. Um, but theirs was words of affirmation. If I affirmed them more, maybe I could have got the you know the quality time or the physical touch. And of course, physical touch doesn't have to be anything, you know, we can just go to them all, uh hold hands, you know. And that's and now you hit both of my love languages. We you spending time with each other literally, you know. That's all I want.

SPEAKER_03 29:36

It's not that hard.

SPEAKER_00 29:38

So I I understand that completely. But yeah, once once we love people and how they need to be loved, then I feel like most relationships will blossom. I mean, of course, God has to be in the center of it all. Right. Um, but those those love languages that we need, those emotional, the emotional side that we need, we have to love each other then in those love languages. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 30:04

That's good. What's your opinion on that? Because this is a big thing nowadays. What's your opinion on like women shooting their shot? What is that supposed to look like? Are they supposed to do that?

SPEAKER_00 30:14

Uh I perhaps so to be completely honest with you, um I don't see a problem with it. I'm more so it's like for me, if you see something that you like or that you want, why not go get it? Or you know, go holla or whatever. Like, so you know, um, girls shooting that shot, I don't see a problem with it. Um, but I don't think men should should sit back and wait either, especially if it's somebody they want. Like for me, if it's somebody I want, I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna shoot Steph Kerr. You know, um, but yeah, women shooting that shot, it shouldn't be a problem. If like I say, if it's something that they really want or like, go get it.

SPEAKER_03 31:01

But what should that look like? Because like us on the women's side, we also don't want to come off as like being the pursuer, you know.

SPEAKER_00 31:08

Okay, I get that. Um I would say, what does it look like? Well, it can be a DM, you know, it can you can always um shoot shoot a shot in a DM like hey, I see, you know, blah blah blah blah blah. Or, you know, if if you're out somewhere, um, let's just say church. I don't know. Let's use church for an example. If it's somebody you've been eyeing for a while or whatever, and they haven't said anything to you, okay. Why not just say, hey, you know, I've been watching you. Not like that, you know. Not not not like that, of course, but you know, I've been paying attention to you. Um, and you know, how what you know, I don't know. Maybe we can go out or anything. I don't know. But I would say uh don't don't be afraid because it could be a potential person. You never know. Um and that'll be a funny story to tell, you know, if you guys get married or anything and have kids or whatever. You know what? I'll as the woman, I shot it, I shot my shot at your dad and look at us now, you know. So, you know, I I uh there is a balance, of course. You don't want to just be like out and just you know, telling guys, hey, you know, I like you or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 32:33

Right.

SPEAKER_00 32:34

But you know, being intentional.

SPEAKER_01 32:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:36

Um what I don't want to keep saying watching, but just seeing how they walk.

SPEAKER_01 32:42

Observing.

SPEAKER_00 32:42

Um, observing, exactly. Um, you know, I use church for an example. You know, how's their you know, prayer life? Of course, you can ask those questions to them or whatever, but like observing how they are in church, if they're involved, or you know, things like that, that can that can help you get your answers. Like, that's true. I actually need I don't want to shoot my shot with this person. Yeah. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:09

Yeah, that's good. Thank you. Do you have um specific like scriptures that you go to to lean on like in the singleness aspect of life?

SPEAKER_00 33:21

Well, I have a shirt on. Oh, okay. God has a plan, so that's Jeremiah 29.11. And I actually have it on my wrist too. Oh my gosh. I have a bunch, I have a bunch of bracelets on here. Um, I have Jeremiah 29.11. For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you, you know, not to harm you. Um then I have what I have Romans 12.2 on here, basically saying, don't be, don't fall into the world stuff. As I was saying earlier. Yeah. You know, change your mind, change, change everything, because you can fall into this world and it's a dark world. And you know, as as Pastor Steven always says, like the you know, what the Bible says, the battle isn't against flesh and blood, it's against the dark, dark spiritual powers of the world. Um, that's on the wrist. So do I have oh, Proverbs 3, 4, uh 3, 5, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not into your own understanding. That's one of my favorite ones. Um, it's actually it's actually my home screen, and it's a it's a reminder to me. Like, um, don't lean. You don't know everything, Lamont.

SPEAKER_01 34:38

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:39

You don't know everything. But if you trust in the Lord and and look for his guidance or seek his guidance, seek his wisdom, then you know, you'll have the answers. Um, and that's that's a quick, that's always a reminder to me. Like, let's take a step back. Um and you don't know the you don't know everything. So lean on to him.

SPEAKER_03 35:03

I love that you have them on your wrist.

SPEAKER_00 35:04

That's really yeah, it's a good reminder. Yeah, yeah. Um I have I have the uh pre-21 bracelet from 2024.

SPEAKER_03 35:14

I was gonna say, I don't remember us getting a bracelet.

SPEAKER_00 35:16

But this was from 2024. Um I so that's another reminder. Like I have Proverbs 3, 5, through 6 on my phone, but I have some some scripture that I like on my wrist as well, just to, you know, a a reminder, or if I'm out and somebody says, What's on your wrists?

SPEAKER_03 35:37

There you go.

SPEAKER_00 35:37

You know. Yeah. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:39

That's what I I use my tattoos for that. Okay. I have like multiple um like scripture-based tattoos. So I have like 70 times seven right here on my colour. Okay. And I have for such a time as this on my thigh, I and I have like walk by my faith on my foot. So I yeah, I'd let I love to use them as like people be like, Oh, what's that tattoo? And I'm like, let me tell you.

SPEAKER_00 36:01

That's good. Well, I don't have any tattoos, but I guess you could say these are my tattoos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These are my tattoos. People ask me, like, do you ever take them off? And I'm like, Well, sometimes when I take a shower, sometimes I wash with it.

SPEAKER_03 36:14

You know, it's rubber.

SPEAKER_00 36:16

And then actually on my other wrists, I have um, it's not a scripture, but it just says walking with Jesus and it has like his sandal prints on it. Oh, cool. Um, but yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:26

That's cool. Yeah. All right, last question.

SPEAKER_00 36:29

What's up?

SPEAKER_03 36:29

If you could give one piece of encouragement to somebody that's walking in the same season as you or similar season as you, what would you tell them?

SPEAKER_00 36:37

I would tell them to be patient. Okay. Um, and I say that because we as humans can get very impatient um with just sitting and waiting. Um, however, there's always good in sitting and waiting. You learn about so much. Um, I've learned about so much about myself, like, oh, I see why so-and-so said this or so-and-so said that. And it's not bashing yourself, but it's more so sitting back and understanding like um people have a different perspective, you know, see you from a different lens. Yeah. Um, be patient. That's one I would say um lean onto community. Community is important. God didn't make us to be alone in this world, um, whether that's a partner or just family, friends. Yeah. Um, I've met so many people at church um that you know, I can shoot them a text or call like, hey, pray for me here, you know, pray for me this, this and that. Um, and and not just taking, but also giving as well. Like, yeah, um, of course, your your last interviewer in Anthony or whatever, he's one of the guys I met at Union in our men's group um a couple years ago uh with Pastor DeMarcus. Um, and we've been tight ever since. Uh we sit at we we sit at church together or whatever, but we're we're doing life together. Yeah. Um that's that's my brother.

SPEAKER_03 38:18

Right, and that's so good to have.

SPEAKER_00 38:20

Um so yeah, patience. I would say lean onto your community. And I would say lean into God, um, whether that's diving into scripture, um, or or just praying. Um, I think sometimes we we get so accustomed to our actual life or what's going on around us, our jobs, our kids, our spouses, blah, blah, blah, blah. And we like kind of put him on a back burner. Yeah. But it, if you like for me, I start my days um when I wake up in the morning, I look over the sky, I say, Thank you, God for waking me up. Um, and then, you know, I go into reading those, you know, the the verse of the day with all of the versions. Um, and then I get into my prayer, and then I can start my day. Of course, it's it's different, of course, um, with pray 21. I was in the building, and it just the atmosphere of church just makes you feel like, ah, you know, at home, it's not the same. However, um, just don't forget that you still need to pray. Right. Whether whether you're in church or not, um, just just praying and being in his word because we can, you know, that this is our daily bread for sure. Um, not just feeding ourselves, you know, food-wise or whatever, but really, really understanding of trying to figure out this life thing. And that's my prayer every day, actually, with reading. I'm like, God, just give me the knowledge, the understanding, and the wisdom so I can understand the Bible and just understand the world itself.

SPEAKER_01 40:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:07

And um, and yeah, so Solomon is one of my favorite characters in the Bible. Not because of his uh 5,000 concubines and wives. No, just because he, you know, he had wisdom. Yeah. And he was one of the wealthiest people to ever live. So I'm like, well, when you have wisdom, that's really the most power. Right. You can make you can make a lot of money, you can give a give a lot to a lot to people, whether that's knowledge or whatever, but that's what I strive for or ask for from God is just I want to understand and know and give me the wisdom. Um, so I can take off and don't be like Solomon, but similar in a ways or you know, um wisdom and and um and wealth. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:59

I love that. So patience, lean on community, and lean on God.

SPEAKER_00 41:02

Lean on God. There are three points there. My three points, yes.

SPEAKER_03 41:05

All right, thank you so much again for coming. I really appreciate you.

SPEAKER_00 41:08

Thank you for having me. Yes. That's next season or whatever, just have me back.

SPEAKER_03 41:17

All right, bye guys. Thank you guys so much for spending time with us today. I really loved having you here. If you liked this episode, make sure you share it with someone you know. I'd also love if you guys would comment any questions you might have that we can answer on future episodes. Remember that each one of you was born for such a time as this. Until next time. Bye.