How to Recognize and Change Unwanted Subconscious Patterns

Why do we keep repeating the same patterns—even when we know better? In this episode, Abram breaks down how to recognize and shift unwanted subconscious patterns that quietly shape your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

We explore the root of emotional triggers, the hidden dynamics behind fear of success and fear of failure, and how these patterns are often wired beneath conscious awareness. You’ll learn how to identify your personal triggers in real time, understand what they’re revealing, and begin rewiring your responses. We also unpack the powerful distinction between confidence and self-worth—why one can fluctuate based on external validation, while the other is an internal foundation that determines how you show up in every area of life.

This episode offers practical insights, mindset shifts, and grounded awareness tools to help you move from reactive patterns into intentional living. If you’re ready to understand yourself on a deeper level and create lasting internal change, this conversation will guide you there.

Thank you for spending time with us! You may contact us at www.abramchanneling.net and www.mediumunplugged.com  

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Hey everyone. If you're here for the first time, I'm Thomas Airy, sometimes referred to as the grandfather of channeling, since I've been channeling for a little over 53 years now. I work a little differently than a lot of other channels out there. I don't channel collectives or councils or federations or anything like that or aliens. I channel one source only, and that source is Abram.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

Hi everyone, I'm Susanna Massery, Psychic Medium, author of Living Beyond Death, and host of the podcast Metaphysical Hippie Chicks 2.0. And today we are going to be speaking with Abram on how to recognize and change unwanted subconscious patterns.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

Hello, my friends. Thank you for joining us. Hello, Susanna.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

Hello, Abram.

SPEAKER_00 0:53

And what do we have today?

SPEAKER_01 0:56

We would like to speak about unwanted subconscious patterns that are developed usually in childhood and quite often from families with challenging situations and how we can become more self-aware and recognize our own patterns and what we can do to change them.

SPEAKER_00 1:19

Good idea, good topic, because everyone on your planet Earth has and acts out a lot of the time unwanted subconscious patterns that have become ingrained beliefs ingrained in them. Deep-rooted ingrained beliefs. Everyone has them. And everyone judges their life by and with them. It does not have to be a family with challenges. It can be a very normal loving family that will kind of instill the beginnings of patterns in young children at a very, very, very, very early age. In fact, with the first time you are told no, as a baby or young child, no. You cannot do that. You cannot have that. So already you are thinking, well, no, I should not do that. I will not do that. I cannot do that. It is not up to me to do that. I cannot have that. That is for someone else to have, not me. So not feeling very good about myself. Maybe I do not really deserve that. I cannot do it. I cannot have it. And my parents are like gods to me. So I should grow up, I should grow up to be much more like them. Parents have patterns also. And as children watch their parents, they mimic their parents' behavior all the time, all the time. Until the child reaches an age, it can be anywhere from ten years to twenty three years old, as you say, old, but there is no time, so there is no young or old. Then the child breaks free of the parental patterns, but will still rely on and function with his or her own deeply ingrained, deeply rooted patterns and beliefs for the course of their lifetime. Let me put it that way, for the course of their lifetime. Since everyone has the old patterns, everyone judges himself or herself all throughout his or her lifetime, which means that they judge not only themselves but other people as well. They also judge situations and things, animals, everything else in their lifetime. This is normal human behavior. Everyone has been taught to and trained to judge. If, as a baby, you were left all alone and had parents that only praised you, not in a false way, but in a real way, you would really not understand the idea of judgment. You would understand more the idea of recognition and allowance and compassion. Now, moving on to school, boy oh boy, are you trained in school? All the children in school are trained to act one way. Be a part of the collective, in this way only. Do not attempt to be yourself. You will get into trouble. So you be like everyone else, and you be like everyone else, and you be like everyone else. This is a pattern that stays with you for the rest of your life until you decide to break free of it. You are just like everyone else. In a sense you are, because you are not better than, nor are you beneath anyone else. All is equal with all. All is equal with all. That includes people, animals, nature, insects, and what you refer to as God. But understand one thing. The God is nature. There is no man wearing white robes with a long white beard judging you. This is a falsehood. If you believe in God, believe in God as being more so nature. Because nature provides you with everything you need, and nature does not judge you. But God might, if you make him angry, is found in all religions. God loves you, but please do not make him angry. He will judge you, he will be harsh with you, he will punish you. A loving God has no room for that. But you know this by now. Back to and on to religion. Boy, oh boy, here we go again. Think this way only. Pray this way only. Act this way only. Do not think that way. Do not pray that way. Do not act that way. It is blasphemy. You are creating sin. In fact, you were born with sin. My friends, I meant to differ. When you were born, you had done nothing yet to sin. But what is sin? Simply a violation of one's own truth. This is all sin is. A violation of one's own truth. You cannot sin to God, you cannot sin to religion. No priest, no pastor, no one will absolve you of your sin. You go throughout your schooling, you go throughout your religious days, and you learn a lot about yourself in the wrong way. In the wrong way. Now I know there is no right and no wrong, but there is a complete way to understand yourself and an incomplete way to understand yourself. So with schooling and religion, you learn to understand yourself in an incomplete way, which means you don't even know who what and why you are completely. You guess at that. And you run your life using all of the patterns, subconscious patterns, unwanted patterns, and those that have now become beliefs. Now, when you can recognize and understand that, yes, I have an old unwanted pattern rearing its head up, when you can understand and recognize that this is the first step in changing your old pattern or allowing it to change itself. Therefore, you change your belief, or your belief will change itself. When you recognize you are running an old pattern, what do you usually do? This applies for everyone, not just you who is watching this video. It applies for everyone upon your planet Earth, my friends. What do you do? Too many times you do nothing. Well, this is the way I am. Take me or leave me. That is one way to look at it. Or I recognize I have a pattern. It does not serve me for your your highest good or my highest good at that. So what can I do about it? I think what I can do is when I feel that old pattern rearing its head up, starting to bark out and blast out and speak itself, maybe I can stop it and think to it, thank you. You have served me for quite a while, but there is no room for you anymore. You cannot serve me anymore in the ways that I need to be served. So again I will thank you, and I will allow you to change in yourself as I practice a different pattern that will be the exact opposite of what and how you have been. The old pattern states you cannot, you should not, do not, you must not, and all the rest. New pattern can be I can, I will, I do, and I am. Because when you say I am, you are acknowledging yourself as being everything, everything found in the universe. And that includes religion, schooling, God, parents, and all the rest. You are all of that as you are. Now there are ways to be all of that. There is an incomplete way which does not allow you to express yourself totally and completely, or there is a complete way by knowing that since you are all of that, everything, and you know this by now, everything comes from you. Entire realities plural realities come from you. Religion comes from you. How would you like religion to be for yourself? How would you like your reality to be? How would you like to have your past schooling days or present schooling days serve you in complete ways for your highest good? How would you like all of that to be? Think about it. When you arrive at how you would like all of that to be, begin seeing it that way by imagining it is happening that way now. This is how you change the old unwanted stale subconscious pattern. You also have unconscious patterns. Those are quite difficult to pinpoint and to change. But what you can do is as you prepare for sleep, ask your dreams to present to you unconscious, unwanted patterns and or beliefs, or one of them or multiple of them that do not serve you anymore, so that you in your dream state can begin to change those unconscious, unwanted, old stale patterns and old stale beliefs. What do you do in your dream state? You do everything. You play all of the roles, all of the characters, you play the theme, you are the theme of your dreams. Which means you have not complete control, but you have complete commandment over your dreams. How the dream plays itself out, how the characters in your dream behave, how they play themselves out, how the dream comes to a close, comes to an end. What is the end result of the dream? This is all up to you. You decide all of that as you are creating the dream, as you are going through creating the dream. You create all of that, you design all of that, and you become all of that. And when you awaken, you might think, boy, that was a crazy dream. It was really so real. I don't know what that meant, but I think it means something. I don't know. Maybe I will think about it to see if I can come up with an answer. I cannot logically find a solution for that dream. Do not logically try to find a solution for an unconscious dream. You will not find anything about the dream. What you do instead is feel the energy of the unconscious dream. Feel the energy, because all information is in the energy of the dream. And when you feel the energy, just only feel the energy of the dream, you will be subconsciously given all of the information that the dream has to offer you. Within two to three days, all of that information will transfer into your conscious mind. And then you'll think, that dream three, two, two, three, four days ago. Now I know what it meant. It meant this and that, these, them, and those about me. Only about me. The dream was all about me. Yes, congratulations. I think that is a good beginning. So thank you. Anything else, my friend? That's a lot to think about. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 12:28

Absolutely. There are patterns of thinking that we get into, especially from childhood, schooling. And it can come from anywhere. It can come from a peer, a teacher, a parent. And one of the basic ones is I'm not good enough. Another one is people always leave. And these tend to be form into beliefs that we carry with us. Yes. No matter how successful we are, that could be running in the background. I'm just not good enough.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

Just like a program runs in the background on your computing machine, constantly running, constantly running. Same with you people. Continue.

SPEAKER_01 13:13

And that sometimes plays into a person's fear of either success or failure.

SPEAKER_00 13:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 13:21

So can you explain more about that and what someone can do if they have that conditioning when they were a child? Let's say they were always berated for something that they did, or always told that they were stupid, or got the message that they were lovable.

SPEAKER_00 13:40

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

So what would be your advice in changing that? Because that's that's something very deep. It can be. It can be.

SPEAKER_00 13:50

Does not have to be, but it can be. Thank you. I don't deserve it. Stop it. Of course you deserve it. Well, why do I deserve it? Are you alive? Yes. Are you an alive human being? Yes. Do you have your own identity usually most of the time? Yes. Do you kind of know who and what and why you are? Yes. Then yes, you deserve everything. Do you create everything? Well, that's what you told me. But do you believe that? Do you think that? Well, yes, I kind of believe it. Then you deserve everything because you create, you design all of it. You design all of those patterns also. People deliver to you possibilities for patterns and you accept them consciously and become you become complete with them. Let me put it that way. You become comfortable consciously with those possibilities, and then you create the pattern. You do. You create it. But it began with your parents, school, religion, friends, and all the rest, all the peers, and everything else in life. You do deserve everything. People seem to fall away from me. Could be a very good thing. Because all throughout your life, and this applies for everyone, you change. You have growth patterns mentally, physically, and all the rest, spiritually, psychically, and all the rest. As you grow, as you mature, as you develop, friends drop away from you. Good idea. What do you mean good idea? It is hurting me. It is hurtful, yes. You find sorrow in that. But understand as they drop away from you, new friends, if you want to call them friends, new acquaintances, new people will arrive in your life with energies that match your new energy. Because your energy will change. You go through cycles in your lifetime, and your energy will change. Your spiritual state of being will change, your consciousness will change, your conscious mind will change, unconscious mind, subconscious mind. But usually unconscious mind pretty much stays the same throughout your lifetime. Just really recognizes itself as one component of all that you are, let me put it that way. So yes, you deserve everything. Let people fall away when they fall away. This is a good thing, because you will acquire new people whose energy will match your energy. This is what you want. This allows you to grow and prosper. You can't have a fear of success. You can't have a fear of failure, you can't have a fear of anything. What is fear? Fear is just not knowing something about something. Defying success for yourself. Well, I think success to me means having a lot of money, brand new automobile, nice house, and good family, good job. If that is what success means, do you redefine it, my friend? Because you are success. You are not a success, but you are success. And with that knowing or understanding, you can have your life and reality be any way you design it to be. You deserve everything. Let people fall away from you. Success is a good thing. You are it. You are all of it. And I am not flattering you. I do not do that. I tell you what you need to hear. And you will do what you need to do with that information. So think about it. Do what you want with it. Thank you. Anything else, my friend?

SPEAKER_01 17:26

People get into situations, conversations, whatever it might be, and they are triggered, which may or may not have anything to do with them personally, but they take it personally.

SPEAKER_02 17:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

How can someone be more self-aware about things that trigger them? And how can they take a moment and maybe not engage in a situation or a conversation because they know they're being triggered? And once they know that, how can someone develop their self-awareness to a deeper way?

SPEAKER_00 18:11

So they will not be triggered.

SPEAKER_01 18:14

They can recognize the triggers and know what it means to them and how they can deal with that.

SPEAKER_00 18:19

And many times people get triggered. They do not understand, they do not know why they are being triggered, they don't know why they are reacting that way. They don't know why they cannot take action for and against the trigger. Understand one thing. This applies for any situation of life. A situation is nothing more than a situation that has no meaning, no reason, no purpose until you give it one, by judging it, or allowing it. I would say in any situation, allow the situation, let it play itself out. If it is creating triggers in you, then what I would do, if I were being triggered by a situation, I would first look at the situation as if I am someone else, not really me. Looking at the situation, I don't see anything that is threatening in that situation. Therefore, I cannot be triggered. My triggers are only my own beliefs about myself, have nothing to do with the situation, who is presenting the situation, or anything else related to the situation or possible situation. It is all about me. So I understand that I created the situation to trigger me, but instead of allowing it to trigger me, I think I will just smile and say thank you. You really have done me a service because you allowed me to look at myself again in a different way, a real happy way, a very enjoyable, complete way. So thank you again. This is how I would handle situations. I am a success. I don't have to have a success because I am success. I am not a success, I am success, period. I am also failure when I need to be, when I need to be reminded to not do that again, do the same idea in a different way. There really is no success, there really is no failure. There is always what just is. Everything just is. Take the charge off of things in your life and in your reality. Don't judge things. If someone judges you, smile and say thank you. I appreciate your judgment. And let it roll off your back, and it can be difficult, like water rolls off of a duck's back. Let it roll off your smile and say thank you. I enjoy your job. Thank you for your judgment of me.

SPEAKER_02 20:59

And go about your day. Smile. You're always alright.

SPEAKER_00 21:07

You never have to be triggered. You never have to think lowly, incompletely about yourself unless it feels good to you. And if it does, examine that. Why does feeling incomplete feel good to you? Well, it makes me strive for something better. Better is a judgment word. Watch out. You're talking about becoming more complete. The way to become more complete is to let all things be. Allow all things to be. Let all situations work themselves out, play themselves out, let people judge you, let people attack you, and just be secure enough within yourself to know that you are always just fine. When someone judges you, They are judging what is going on emotionally inside them. It has nothing to do with you anyway. So drop it. Let it go. When someone attacks you, they are people are mirrors for each other. They are seeing because of you something in them that triggers them. They need to judge themselves. They need to punish themselves. And it seems like they are doing that to you. But again, it has nothing to do with you. Let them leave them alone. Security is found in knowing who what and why you are. So when you have time, if you want to, think a bit more about who what and why you are. The why is the most important aspect of who what and why you are. I'm sure you'll come up with something quite brilliant. Thank you. Anything else, my friend?

SPEAKER_01 22:58

One last thing. What is the difference between confidence and self-worth?

SPEAKER_00 23:04

How much do you value yourself? Think about that. I value myself completely, which means I am self-confidence. I don't have it, I am it. What you want, become it. Let the energy of what you want become a part of your energy. Therefore, then you become it. But really don't want things, because when you want something, you will not have it. You will always want it. Let it come to you. Draw the energy of it to you. Let it reside within you and become it. Anything else, my friend? I think that's it for now. Then that is it for me also. I have had fun today of your time. I love you, my friends. Thank you, Susanna. Thank you, Abram. This has been invigorating for me.

SPEAKER_02 23:57

Enjoy your day.

SPEAKER_00 24:01

Always think in complete terms about yourself. And we will see each other again. Thank you again, my friends.

SPEAKER_01 24:13

Thank you, everyone.

SPEAKER_02 24:15

We love you. We appreciate you. And we'll see you next time.