feeling discouraged?

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Colossians 3:1-4 🫶🏽

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Transcript

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Hello everyone and welcome to Eden Citizen. My name is Brie, and I have been trying to record this episode for a while. Okay. Usually I have to do a couple of takes, but I don't know what it is about this episode. The Lord must just have something good to say because I'm really struggling. I'm hot. Um, I'm overstimulated. My cat is making noises, like it's a lot going on. So we're gonna jump in. I do want to say that I figured out how to do like messages. So I'm gonna put a link in the description and you can send me messages, you can send questions. I would love it if you sent topics, things you want to hear about. Um, that would be amazing. So you can click on that link, and I'm also gonna put my Cash App in the description as well. If you feel led to donate, slide a little something to the podcast. Please do, no pressure at all. Anyways, um, okay, so I'm gonna start out with scripture. So the scripture that's on my heart for today is Colossians 3, 1 through 4. And it says, Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God's right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory. This scripture will essentially anchor a lot of the things that I talk about today. Um, because specifically when it comes to discouragement, I think that often the source of discouragement is us focusing on the things of earth and not the things of heaven. Uh, what comes to mind is Peter, you know, when he's walking on water and he takes his eyes off of the Lord and immediately starts drowning. That experience is so relevant, especially when it comes to discouragement. Because if you think about it, like after you have a really good quiet time with the Lord, or you heard a really good sermon, you know, or you just have like a breakthrough moment with God, the feeling that comes from that is often like unmatched. Okay, like you feel so motivated, you feel so encouraged, you feel so like high on life, literally. And um, I think that's what a lot of people love about church. Now, I think there's a conversation to be had with are we forming our own relationships with the Lord, or are we leaning on like sermons and lights and worship? But I think the reason why a lot of people really love the whole experience of going to church is just the feeling you get, the encouragement. So many of us leave encouraged, even if it's like a convicting message, like we leave feeling encouraged to please the Lord. And you know, I think that kind of illustrates how discouragement is the opposite of how the Lord makes us feel, and the opposite of focusing on him, like quite literally, when we take our eyes off of him, we're discouraged immediately. And in the context of singleness, I really feel like this is pretty explanatory of how quickly you can transition from encouragement to discouragement. Uh I think that there are moments definitely where even if you are like steadfast and on fire and filled with the spirit, there are moments when you naturally struggle with like loneliness and sadness and discouragement. And oftentimes it just comes from weariness, I think. You know, when you're exhausted and you've been kind of doing the same thing over and over again, you don't really see much changing. I think that weariness can naturally produce discouragement. But oftentimes what feeds that discouragement is when we shift our eyes. So when we start looking at other people and being like, well, look what he did for her, look what he did for him, or we start reading things on social media and we start looking at statistics and we start, you know, looking at tweets about how you know frustrated people are that they can't find godly partners, and like once we start like consuming those things, quite literally eating those things, the phrase you are, which you eat have has been stuck on my mind like all week. But once we start consuming those things, that's when we're feeding the discouragement because that's when we're focusing on the things of earth and not the things of heaven. And so I kind of just want to talk about what it looks like to think about the things of heaven and maybe some crafty ways that I've seen the enemy personally and with other people, you know, kind of slowly take our eyes off of the Lord. And so the first thing that comes to mind is social media. Now, disclaimer, I'm not someone who thinks that all social media is bad. However, if I'm honest, I can see myself one day like completely unsubscribing. That is a goal of mine to just not be on social media. Now, I don't know how realistic that is, and I think about the logistics of having so many like long-distance friends and family, like the best way to keep up with them feels like social media. So gotta figure that out. But honestly, I'm not against social media. However, I think in this space, especially when it comes to dating and relationships and singleness, any topic related to those, social media is so awful right now. Like, I kid you not, like the think pieces, the substacks, the threads, the TikToks, the analysis. It is just not helpful, I guess is the best way to put it. Um, I think about the scripture in 1 Corinthians 10 23. It says, I have the right to do anything you say, but not everything is beneficial. I have the right to do anything, but not everything is constructive. There are so many things on social media specifically right now that are not constructive and not beneficial, not necessarily sinful, but also just not helpful. Um, and specifically, you know, when it comes to people's opinions, okay, let's just camp out there for a second. We were never meant to see this many people's opinions. Like, we were never meant to be exposed to um, you know, Sally's opinion in Rhode Island. You know, I don't even know her. Why do I know what what all that she thinks about, you know, this particular topic? We shouldn't be exposed to it. Um, it's actually a lot, and it like produces so much clutter cognitively, it's scary uh to see kind of an experience to just being filled up with stuff with gunk. Um, so that's my like not so hot take is that like we were never meant to see this many people's opinions. And what used to be social media has slowly turned into like I don't even know how to describe it, a Socratic seminar. Okay, if you've ever participated in one of those, I remember we used to do them in college, and it was when we just sit in a circle and talk about like a book or an article. Social media has turned into one big Socratic seminar. However, in Socratic seminars, okay, we had a specific topic that we were focusing on, right? Whether it was a book or an article or a piece, and I hate to put it like this, but we were all relatively the same education level. Hopefully, I'm not offending anyone with this. I'm not saying, I'm just gonna say it. So we were all the same education level, so the conversations kind of made sense, you know, because we were all people who were all a part of the same major, we had done our respective research, and so even though we had different opinions, there was some backing to it, like there was some basis to what we were saying, right? And it made sense, it was related to that thing. Now imagine social media is like a big Socratic seminar with several different topics, with people of vastly different backgrounds, and everybody's asserting their opinion as if it's facts, as if they've studied that thing for 30 years, and they could have literally looked up what the word meant three minutes ago. You just don't know. Like you you never know. Um, it's it's one big dumpster fire, honestly. But I think especially, especially if we're talking about relationships. Oh my gosh, if we're talking about singleness, like it is, it's way too much going on. And I think that would that would be the theme of like this entire episode. If I could just leave you with one thing, unsubscribe, stop reading the Think Pieces, stop reading the Substacks, stop swiping through the pieces on Instagram. I know that it's very tempting, trust me, as a girl who enjoys research and analysis myself. I think it's very tempting to kind of indulge in those things, but especially if you're in a place of hopefulness and you're in a place of waiting on God in whatever area, if you're waiting on a promise, if you're waiting to hear him, that stuff only distracts. That stuff is like turning up the music so you can't hear him at all. Like it's literally cluttering our brains. Um, so yeah. And you know, one example that comes to mind to be specific is I remember probably like about a year and a half ago, everyone was talking about something called like the taxicab theory. And if you don't know what it is, um, essentially it just likened men to taxis and like having their lights on, quote unquote. And so essentially say stating that men don't actually marry who they love, um, they marry who's there whenever they are ready to get married, whether, you know, whenever it's convenient, when their light is on. And so it started this whole discourse about, you know, are people actually with the people that they love, the, you know, the people they love the most, or is there are they with people who were there when they're ready to get married? Super interesting discourse, right? Super interesting topic. But I remember asking myself, how is this helpful? As a heterosexual woman, as a believer, as someone waiting on the Lord in that particular area, how is that helpful for me to engage in that discourse? How is that helpful for me to believe that? Right? Like, it's not necessarily sinful to read about it, but it's not helpful in any way for me to take on that perspective because then I'll just be wondering for the rest of my life, like, oh, is this person with me because they love me or because I was there when they wanted to get married? And ultimately, you know, I don't want to say that people have negative intentions, but a lot of what is being spit out, okay, I do believe is from the enemy. I do believe that his goal is to sow discord and division in the world, but especially in the body. And so if he can sow discord between the man and the woman, and if he can sow division amongst us as believers, then he can ultimately get to us. Because, you know, the Bible emphasizes, you know, one of the most important commandments, love your neighbor. If he can attack that, everything else is like collateral damage. And so I think that's something that I noticed early on in my journey was that I had to not subscribe and not engage with a lot of discourse online, especially about relationships. And this was discourse in or outside of the church, like, you know, I think especially like a lot of worldly discourse, but even, you know, I see some things amongst believers. I remember, you know, seeing things about how difficult it was to find a man of God who truly, you know, was a man of God, and how, you know, so many men are just like, you know, lustful and not who they say they are. And here's my thing: I never want to invalidate anyone's experiences. I actually don't think it's bad to have these discussions and you know, call people higher. However, I think whenever it comes to discourse online and even conversations that you may hear amongst your friends, it's often left without solution. There's often like a this is it matter of fact, and there's no solution. But the crazy thing is there has to be a solution because we are believers. We serve a good God, we serve a good father, he gives good gifts, he withholds nothing. Like the that when we base our lives off of those like ideas and those facts, really, I shouldn't even call them ideas, when we base them off of those facts, like there is a solution to everything that's going on. And it may not be clear-cut, but I definitely feel like, you know, oftentimes we forget, bringing it back to scripture, we've been raised to new life with Christ. We set our sights on the realities of heaven where Christ sits in the place of honor at God's right hand. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. I just want to like deep that real quick, because I remember like reading that for the first time and feeling like my eyes had been opened in a new way. Like, just that scales had been, you know, ripped off from my eyes, because I was like, just like it says in like ecclesiastics, none of this really matters, you know, none of this really matters, even the you know, good things, you know, it just doesn't matter. And so, especially when it comes to the worries of this life, the cares of this life, like that part is dead. Our real life is hidden with Christ in God. When you really think about that, it quite literally changes your whole perspective. When it comes to this world, this is not to say not to be informed or know what's going on around you, but know that a lot of that is the things of earth, not the things of heaven. And certain things, okay, you just have to know as children of God, certain things don't apply to you. A lot doesn't apply to you, actually, I would argue. The word holy quite literally means set apart. So we were designed to be separate, right? So things that may apply to this world, theories that people may come up with, facts that people may spit out, it just simply does not apply to you, okay? And this is not to say that you can earn your way into the most perfect relationship, or if you are a believer, that means God's gonna bless you, you know, in this area with just the perfect relationship. But it's just to say that we don't have to be discouraged by the things that the world is discouraged by. We don't have to take on the perspectives of the world. We don't have to, those they don't apply to us. I think about um, I remember I saw this video on Instagram and it just it was so good. It was this girl, and she was talking about, she was like, you are the exception. And she was talking about, you know, as believers, we have to start knowing that we are the exception. We're not the rule, we're the exception. And um, she was talking about favor and how, you know, certain things that people may have to work hard for just in their own strength, we don't have to because the we have the Lord. And I remember like saying this, it applied to me obviously, but I remember saying this to a friend of mine because she was in the process of applying to like um, she was in her um applying to different um programs for medical school. And I remember telling her, like, yeah, the rules don't apply to you. She was like, Oh, but this field is so hard to get into, like, blah, blah. I'm like, but the rules don't apply to you. You are the exception. You know, you are God's daughter, you have favor. We have to start moving that way. Like, you are the exception. And what that means is just to know that we live our lives set apart. We don't set our mind on the things of this earth, we set our mind on the things of heaven. And it's not a calling to be naive, but it's a calling to fix your perspective. Because, again, I think it's way easier to drown, to take our eyes off of the Lord and start drowning. That's just our default. And it takes more effort for us to fix our eyes on him, to think about the things of heaven, okay, to fix our eyes on eternity. We're here to bring glory to God. We're here so that everything we are is worship to him. That includes our work, that includes our friendships, that includes our marriages, that includes, you know, our families that we develop, that includes just the way you move in this world. It is for worship, it is to bring God glory. And so it can't look like everybody else, it can't be like everything else because you're set apart. And again, hear me when I say this: the things that we do for the Lord, it is not to earn something from him, it's not to get something from him. Your obedience doesn't equal, well, you're just gonna have this, you know, situation because God is allows us free will, first of all. Second of all, we live in a fallen world, and so you know, things happen. And yeah, I'll leave it at that. However, I will say that there's no need to be afraid, there's no need to live in a heart posture of discouragement because the rules simply don't apply to you. You are set apart, you are his daughter. It says in Corinth, uh Colossians 3 12, it says, Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, he chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must close yours clothe yourselves with tender hearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. I just love that. Like he chose you to be set apart, the people that he loves. And I think it's when we are in a heart posture of discouragement, when we're in a heart posture of feeling like this will never happen for me, I see it happening for everybody else, or if it does happen for me, this is what's gonna happen, this is what's gonna go wrong, or why do I think I'm special? Everybody else is having bad experiences, I'm gonna have bad experiences, maybe my standard standards are too high, maybe I'm delusional. When we have all of those thoughts, we forget that we're chosen. Like we are actually chosen. Um uh at a couple episodes ago, I just had a blank, I don't know what that was, but a couple episodes ago, episodes ago, I was talking about Annie, and I was talking about how I really loved Annie growing up, and the story of Annie was she was. An orphan and she lived in this rundown orphanage. She gets adopted by Daddy Warbucks and she goes on to live this beautiful life, right? And you know, in him adopting her, he gives her a life of luxury, like he blesses her with all these beautiful things. She never has to want or need for anything. And that literally is what happens for us. When we accept God into our hearts, we don't have to want or need for anything. Our lives aren't perfect. You know, we still endure, we still experience suffering regardless. But there's nothing that we necessarily have to be out here earning. We don't have to break our backs, okay? We don't have to do all of the things that people do, we don't have to do the five-step courses. We have a good God, and we have a sovereign God, and when he sees fit, he does what he wants to do. And some people use that as a threat, but that's actually a blessing. And I think that's also how we need to shift our perspective is that God's sovereignty is a blessing. It is not a threat, it is a blessing that he moves in his timing, it is a blessing that he takes into account what we need individually and he blesses us accordingly. It is a blessing that we can't earn anything. Because if we did have the ability to earn things, we would have nothing. If you really think about it. So, anyways, I think getting back to my point, I think all of this started with me saying social media um has fueled a lot of discouragement. I believe it truly has, especially, especially in women, just being real, women just know I believe that there is an attack on our hope. There is an attack on our joy. And there are people who I don't even think they realize what they're doing, but their goal is to get everyone into a posture of discouragement. People are trying to rationalize their way into kind of spreading the misery, if you will. You know, the saying like misery needs company, like genuinely, I think that a lot of people are hurt, a lot of people are discouraged, and instead of facing that head on, they're trying to rationalize it and come up with, you know, theories as to why these experiences are happening or what, you know, what's going on. And I think, again, I don't think we should be ill-informed, and I don't think we should be naive. And I don't think we should ignore very real things that are happening. But we can't just consume without a solution. You gen you are what you eat. And I say this, I I just remember like actively making the decision. I was not gonna read articles about, you know, statistics about black women getting married and how low the likelihood of us getting married was. That was just me, you know. I think again, it's important to be informed, but I knew that what that would do for me and my hope. And like what I was asking God for. There was, it was, it was just not helpful for me to consume those things. It wasn't helpful for me to read articles about um, you know, ambitious women and how people, you know, how hard it is to find someone that matches your socioeconomic status. Like, what what help does that provide? You know, like is that helpful for me? No. Is that helpful for my mind and my heart? No. Is that beneficial? Is it constructive? Not at all. Because at the end of the day, it's just feeding discouragement. When the reality is, we don't live in reality, we we live by the things of heaven. And I I was gonna say, I hope I don't sound delusional, but I don't care if I sound delusional. My point is that you have to know who you are in Christ. That's what it comes down to, is knowing that you are the daughter of a king. If you think about little Annie when she got adopted by Daddy Warbucks, right? People were probably looking at her like, you know, you are just an orphan. How did you get all these nice things? How do you live in this nice house? How do you have all of this? She would answer most likely, do you know who my father is? And I think that's how we need to start responding. Is do you know who our father is? And that's a word in itself. Discouragement comes from not knowing who your father is. Like, you know the creator of the universe, that is your father. This is nothing for him. For him to to give you a spouse is nothing. Okay, it's it would be like, I don't know, he'd probably have to blink one eye one. I don't know how to like it's really nothing for him to bless you with a beautiful family. It's nothing for him to give you the child, it's nothing for him to give you your dream job, it's nothing for him to bring you community, it's nothing for him to reconcile your family that's been estranged for years. It's nothing for him to come through and pay that bill. It's nothing for him to bring you out of debt. It's nothing for him to get you into that school, it's nothing for him to save that friend that you've been praying for. Like, it's it's quite literally nothing for him to do these things, and it comes down to knowing who your father is and knowing who you are in Christ. Um, Deuteronomy 14, 2 says, Oh, Adam lost it. Chow. Oh, you have been set apart as holy to the Lord your God, and he has chosen you from all the nations of the earth to be his own special treasure. I think we just have to meditate on that. Like we are his special treasure, we are his chosen possession, we are set apart, and so we are called to live our lives differently from the world. We are called to be separate, and that just looks like things not applying to us, whether it's, you know, quote unquote good things or bad things. Again, it doesn't mean like this perfect, you know, utopian life where nothing bad happens to us, but we don't have to be discouraged by the things everyone else is discouraged about. And again, I feel like we understand that on a level of like when we're talking about the world going down up in flames, or we're talking about wars, like people really acknowledge, like, oh yeah, like when I fix my eyes on Jesus, like I don't have to necessarily be worried about the things a lot of people are worried about, you know, or some of us are really good when it comes to finances of like, yeah, I don't know how this bill's gonna get paid, but I know who I serve, right? But when it comes to relationships and it comes to specifically waiting seasons, I think a lot of that, you know, is missed of like, well, but I don't know if God can really do this for me. Or there's people like, I know he can do it, but is he gonna do it for me specifically? And I really think that's just something you gotta again, you gotta go back to the basics of knowing who he is. Because I've expressed on here, I believe, that you know, if you have that desire, if it's from the Lord, he gives us the desires of our heart, he placed that desire on your heart. I do believe he will fulfill it in his timing. Um, but I think sometimes, again, the enemy will try to plant doubts in our head. The longer we wait, the more our circumstances may look, you know, kind of crazy. Doubts come. But especially, I think, when it's fueled by other people experiencing discouragement or other people doubting, or people writing think pieces and theories and you know, information about what they believe that our generation is incapable of. That's just fueling the discouragement. And so, yeah, I think I'm gonna leave it at that. Um, because you know, I really just will be praying for anyone who is experiencing discouragement, anyone who feels like they're growing weary and they don't know where to go from here. And I do want to end off by reading some scriptures in my God's Promises for Your Every Need book. Um, and it just has scriptures related to quite literally any topic. And this, these are the scriptures related to what to do when you feel discouraged. First one. So the ransom of the Lord shall return and come to Zion with singing, with everlasting joy in their heads, they shall obtain joy and gladness, sorrow and sighing shall flee away. Isaiah 51, 11. Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you will revive me, you will stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand will save me. That's Psalm 138.7. I love this one. We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed. We are perplexed but not in despair, persecuted but not forsaken, struck down but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4 8 9. I feel like I can create a whole episode on that one. Hard press on every side yet not crushed. Yeah, I know that feeling well, and it's I think it's beautiful that it ends with it saying, but not destroyed. Like, we don't have to end in discouragement. I've said it before, like, there is a solution, there is a other side. I think the reason why Colossians, you know, focuses on set your thing, set your eyes, or you know, set your mind on the things of heaven is knowing that we're living for eternity. Like the war is fixed, the battle is won. And so no matter what, even if whatever, you know, even if this side of heaven is not doesn't feel good to you, or you feel like you haven't, you know, experienced the solution or resolution on this side of heaven, there is a s there is a solution, and that's eternity. And I think it's just so encouraging to set our minds, just knowing that we live our lives not for what happens here, but for what happens after. So we can have peace. Just knowing that we don't have to be discouraged. There's no reason to be discouraged. We already know how this ends, and it's not about, you know, what specific thing that God does, you know. Although, again, I do believe that, you know, he is a promise keeper, but it's about eternity and it's about the fact that we get to reside with our father for forever. And so our only assignment here is just to bring glory to him and um do what he's called us here on earth. So, yeah, I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. I pray that someone leaves here feeling encouraged, and I will see y'all next time. Love you guys.