How to Attract and Retain Dream Clients ( Not Chase )

Today I’m sitting down with business coach Steph Rubio to talk about what NO ONE talks about enough in online business: aligned clients, client retention, boundaries, referrals, and building a service based business that actually supports your life.

Because finding more clients is great… but keeping the RIGHT clients? That’s where the magic (and the sustainable revenue) happens.

We’re diving into how to stop operating from scarcity, how to identify red flags before someone signs the contract, and why your client experience is directly tied to your referrals, reputation, and high ticket sales.

Steph also shares her genius approach to client retention, why she offboards disengaged clients, and how creating intentional experiences inside your offers can completely transform your business.

This episode honestly feels like a masterclass in building a business people never want to leave.

In this episode, we cover:

• How to find aligned clients in your service based business
• The mindset shifts behind high ticket sales and client retention
• Why female founders need stronger boundaries with clients
• The “strategic ripple effect” of aligned vs. misaligned clients
• How poor-fit clients affect your referrals and reputation
• Red flags, orange flags, and green flags to watch for
• How to create a luxury client experience without overcomplicating it
• The importance of onboarding, offboarding, and communication
• Why retaining clients is more profitable than constantly finding more clients
• Creating communities clients actually want to engage in
• Steph’s approach to referrals, retention, and relationship-building
• How systems and workflows improve the customer experience
• Why your business should support your LIFE — not consume it

If you’re a female founder trying to grow your business sustainably, improve your client retention, increase referrals, and create a business that actually feels good to run… you’re going to LOVE this conversation.

Connect with Steph:
Follow her on Instagram

Listen to her Podcast: Rooted & Relentless 

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If you’re ready to scale your coaching business, attract dream clients, and close more high ticket sales — I’m your girl. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Everyone's always talking about how do I get more clients? How do I get more clients? But no one's really talking about actually keeping the right clients. Today I'm gonna come into you why that's actually the secret sauce. Hey y'all, welcome to Your Girl, the podcast for six to seven figure coaches who are ready to scale their business and hit their dream numbers. I'm your host, Brady, the founder of Your Girl Media. Essentially, I have a boutique agency where I am scaling coaches through podcasting, through high-ticket sales, and through my community, Cocktails and Clothes. So today we are talking to Steph Rubio, who I met on a networking call. And I was like, who is this woman? I need to talk to her. Because she just like had this sexy bookcase bra behind her with this sexy dark green walls, and then she spoke. And I was like, that is one of the sexiest voices I've ever heard. I was like, I've I've got to be friends with this woman. And so yeah, we're talking to Steph Rubio, who is an incredible business coach, and we are talking about something she is always harping on, which is how to retain your clients and not just constantly chase new ones. I think we're always chasing something new, like that's human nature. But actually retaining your clients and upgrading them has more scaling potential than just always chasing new ones. I don't have to tell you about, you know, maybe you get a new client and you realize they actually kind of suck. Meanwhile, the clients you already have in your pocket are just begging to be upgraded. So that's kind of what we're gonna be getting into today, because again, we're always chasing the new, but the oldies are the goodies for everything. So let's get into it. The question I like to start off with is well definitely say your name for your business, but if your business was a cocktail, what would it be?

SPEAKER_02 1:31

If my business was a cocktail, it would be the same cocktail I would drink if I was drinking right now, and it would be a ranch water, an authentic ranch water, which is hard to find unless you live in Texas.

SPEAKER_00 1:42

Um there was an in-authentic one.

SPEAKER_02 1:45

Yeah, so like soda water, like oh, we don't have um specifically the Topo Chico mineral water, is like the best one you can put into it. And so around here, if they don't just stock Topo Chico like at the bar, which most of them don't, it's like oh, I could do soda, and I'm like, okay, put like five limes in there because it's not the same. There's something this isn't, I'm gonna have to take it back now because now this cocktail is making me sound like my brand is real bougie and I am, and that's anything but. But the cocktail itself, if you make it like that, the mineral water is refreshing too, which also sounds crazy if you don't like tequila. It's like a tequila tastes refreshing, it does because it's more water than carbonated, even though it's carbonated a little bit, so there's not a lot of sugar. That's definitely on brand. We're not sweetening it or anything like that. We're getting direct into the point. What are we trying to get with this drink? We're just trying to take a little edge off. So tequila, mineral water, preferably like sparkling mineral water. So Topo Chico and one lime.

SPEAKER_00 2:43

Okay, I'm hearing like high quality, like high quality service, high quality topo chico. It's refreshing. Like you're gonna leave, like uh, you know, but then you're hydrated. But also, we're we're not, it's not a freaking sex on the beach. We're not sex like sweet and like let me walk and hold your hand, you know.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

No, yes, yeah. Yeah, yeah, on brand and online because we want some flavor. That's cool.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

Your voice though, which I will want to talk about that that later in cocktail hour, is so sexy. I feel like it should be. I don't know a lot of like cocktails ironically, but um ironically something like something like a sexy dark bar. Like that's what I was imagining. Like your actual tone of voice. I feel like an old fashioned or something like a sexy little, not a little drink, a sexy drink. That's what your voice sounds like to me.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

Okay, I could go with that with the brand. I do not like bourbon and whiskey, and I wish I did, Marie. Like, legit. I also give the vibe, right? Yeah, I tell people all the time, you know, I read a lot of fantasy books. I'm like, I wish I could pour like a knuckle of whiskey. That's what they all call it in the fancy books, a knuckle at the end of their long day, and they like throw it back or before a hard conversation with a partner, and I'm like, vomits, disgusting, but that's what I drink actually.

SPEAKER_00 3:59

I actually drink that.

SPEAKER_02 4:01

I wish I could. Everybody tells me, like, uh, as I get older, my palate will refine. So I'm like, okay, once a year I'll try whatever you're pouring to see, and it's just so far is a lie. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

Yeah, yeah. It's okay. I got I got you on that. I I drink like that.

SPEAKER_02 4:14

So you drink that, I'll drink the ranch water. Yeah, we'll just mix it up here.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

Yeah. Okay, we'll get into business. So do it. Okay, you are a business coach who is perfect for everyone, honestly, if listening to this podcast, because everyone that's a podcast listening is very growth oriented, all about scaling, and they take fucking action, which is this is great. They're literally perfect guests for this. Today I want to talk about like how to find aligned clients, not just any client, you know, and then we want to talk about how to keep them. Um what are some ways you can find aligned clients in your coaching business? And like, how do we not just get in that like that rat race of like, oh, I'll just take your money? You don't actually like sit back and be like, is Stephanie actually a good fit for this? Are we wasting both of our times? How do you find an aligned client? And then, like, how literally do you find an aligned client?

SPEAKER_02 5:01

Yeah, well, you just answered part of it. I want to get more specific, but I wrote mindset, then you said mindset. So there's two parts here that you have to peel off. And I find that when I'm supporting people, and what I did myself too, was that it starts with that mindset component. You like we have this uh scarcity, especially when we start businesses and we start to grow, and we're like validating ourselves. I call it validating the business idea, but you're validating yourself when you are the service provider and you just don't want to admit that sometimes, and sometimes you do, whatever. And so anyone who wants to work with us is like it feels like the best thing that could ever happen to us. It's like so gratifying. So, how would you say no to money when you're like, I'm just seeing if this thing is gonna work and oh my god, it didn't. People are gonna pay me, boom. That that means I'm successful. Well, you also started to cover it when we talk about aligned, you said time, wasting time right there. I think the way that to trick you into getting over that mindset, I talk the mindset a lot, it's like, let me trick you with data. Let me talk about why this matters, is because when you start to see the detrimental effect of just taking all of those clients, of having non-aligned clients, misaligned clients, whatever, you start to see the strategic ripple effect is how I always talk about this, is really bad for you because the strategic ripple effect of having aligned clients is good. Think about it, Marie. If you you're like, well, we're we're trading services even and and they're like paying me this, and they're gonna give me referrals, they're gonna give me access to their network. Well, if they're a shit client, who do you think they're referring? Shit clients. So it's not this benefit that it sounds like it is at face value if you stop and you go a little bit deeper. So the mindset component is what is an aligned client for you? What does that mean? First, you have to get really clear on that. So for me, and it's always values aligned, that is gonna be the same for everyone. It has to do with your values. What matters to you? What matters to me is my life and my family come first. That is never to be misconstrued with I'm not gonna give 110% in my business. I give 110% to everything I do. I'm known for that. And I just have to do that in certain pockets. But if something happens, I'm gonna put my life first. If you're trying to work at 7 p.m. and that's not my work time and that's a problem for you, we're misaligned and we're not gonna do this. So it comes with that scarcity mindset that we want to hold on to. People are paying us, oh my God, we're flattered, instead of just knowing that if the right people pay you, they also refer the right people to you and you're happier day to day doing it. Does that answer the first one with mindset pretty well?

SPEAKER_00 7:31

Yeah, I love how you said values because I feel like we're always talking about like you're messaging, you're messaging, you're messaging. And it's like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good to have your clients fit into your niche, but there's a second part of that. Time is clearly a value for you. You want to save time for your family. You don't need to work with someone who's like, Stephanie, I just emailed you at 9 p.m. Where are you? You need someone who's also like, girl, I don't want to be online either. And that's fine. But like, I feel like there's a second part that no one's talking about. It's like, wait, do you actually know what you value?

SPEAKER_02 7:57

Yeah, so there's a third layer too to answer this question because you were like, there's a second layer, your values. There's a third layer is living your values. So there's a difference in saying them and talking about them and saying, like, I'm done at 4 p.m. and then actually answering those emails at 8 p.m. and 9 p.m. and jumping on. So people are gonna listen to what you do and not what you say. We've heard that with the kids, right? Do as I say, not as I do. Well, it's the same. So I can say that integrity is really important to me. And then I cannot show that four or five times because I do some sneaky stuff or something like that. And then people are like, okay, well, she doesn't mean integrity, she means this thing. Same with time boundaries, money boundaries, whatever it is. You have to live it. So that's the first thing. Hopefully, people like get on this call on your ideal client, like you're saying, right, Marie. And hopefully at some point you've seen something, especially if you're the one trying to hire, like get hired, hired, whatever. We're vetting each other, right? Yeah, so you should be able to see that first off, and you should know if there's some misalignment there. But getting clear on yours and then communicating that communication's always gonna be key. So if we're at this point, and I don't mean like art, Marie, let me tell you all the things you cannot do. That's not what I'm talking about. That's not how we're gonna do a working relationship. More realistically, in that case, we hit it off personally somehow. In real life, now, Marie talking about you and me, we hit it off because our energies and we're talking about that, and we're talking about lipstick and right. So we have something personal and we start to get to know each other, but we're also getting to know each other about our businesses. That's the point of this said call, right? To see if we can work together. So we're getting through what you need. What are your pain points and your problems? And here's me offering that solution. Somewhere in there, especially offering the solution, you're talking about some of this already. Here's what we're going to do, here's how we're going to work together, that's what it looks like. Sending you the invoice, we're doing the damn thing. Well, then you're also onboarding them and doing the damn thing, you know, whatever that damn thing is for you. And you're going to communicate expectations in there and set your standards there. And then you're going to reset them as needed. This is for any onboarding process. I don't care what it is and how it looks. But for me, and coaches specifically, because what we're doing usually has a higher touch point than most people, is you're setting those communication norms. When am I taking vacations? I tell people this from the start. I take off two weeks at the end of the year, I take off a week in March, and I take off a week or two in the summer, always. And I'll take other times in there. People know from day zero that this is the case with me. They know my turnaround times. If they're in their mastermind, they know that they can drop something and I'm shooting for within two days to get back to them. I might do it sooner. This is where you have to live what you're talking about, right? You have to temper that. If you're constantly responding within two hours, they're going to believe the two hours. They're not going to believe the two days. So get clear on what it is for you. Set that from the start. And now you're getting people that are aligned because if they don't like that, they're not going to work with you. If they need that two-hour turnaround and you're more of a two-day or a two-week, this goes to VIP days and stuff, right? A lot of people are like in that instant gratification, and I love that too. If you now have a program that takes four to eight weeks that some people do in a VIP day, you're looking for those people who like that. That's what we talk about when we're talking about aligned. Instead, what typically happens if we go to that two-hour and two-day scenario is like you don't want them to know the two days because, like, what if they don't want to work with you? No, no, no. You do want those people to work with you. If they want the two-hour response and that's not your thing, that's where the scarcity mindset is the issue. Is like, no, I'll I don't want to lose them over that. I'm gonna hold on to them. I want the client, I want the payment.

SPEAKER_01 11:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:18

Versus on the other side of that, you're not losing them. You're cutting the right people in, cutting the wrong people out. We always feel I'm cutting people out. Just switch it. You're cutting the right people in. Then that means your nervous system's gonna be okay because you have a two-day preferred turnaround. So and everybody understands that, and you're good to go. Instead of saying one thing and doing another and packing people in there because they're going to pay you. Now you're misaligned, you're unhappy, they're unhappy because there's misalignment in what you said you would do and what you're actually doing, and now they're not going to refer you anyway. Or, like I said, they're gonna refer you, it's not gonna work, you're gonna off-board them, you're wasting time. Like, now I'm going down to the ripple effect.

SPEAKER_00 11:53

It all starts from that. And like I think that's what we get like addicted to like the the onboarding, like the client signed the contract, the money's coming in, and then we're like, oh shit, I'm three months in and I'm starting to resent this person. Oh shit, it's six months in, and this is my worst client, and I'm starting to like resent my business. And it's like this all can be resolved if at the very, very beginning you find this alignment. Like, I have something called um I call it red, orange, green flags. And so whenever I haven't had a red flag client in a long knock on time, knock on wood, like because of the system. Like I I write down my red flags and very, very upfront about those, and then I keep open in mind with the orange flags, I could turn it into red flags, and then I have a list of my green flags. And ever since like I've gotten written written down, like written down in track of like what these orange and red flags are, I only get green flag clients, but I also know my values. My green flags could be your red flags, you know? So it's just like I think creating like um just like really journaling and figuring out what are your values, and then also keeping track. Why didn't I like working with Susie? Was it you, was it her? Was it the values? And then put it in like is it an orange flag, red flag? And I feel like that's how I filter my discovery calls, how I feel after, and I can journal about it. And then afterwards, I I it's like it's a legit thing, like it's a bullet point list. Oh, I like Stephanie because oh, wait, that makes sense. She looks like that client who has a green flag. It's a list that you're writing down to keep track of some dating.

SPEAKER_02 13:16

Yeah, that was all I have to say. It sounds like we're swiping left or right, you know.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

I will say I've been working for four years in my business. I've had three bad clients. Okay, that's fucking good.

SPEAKER_02 13:29

Yeah, that's incredible. Yeah, and you know what, Berea like on the other side of that is being for real. Because so I coach people, so obviously, this is like the large part of what I do. I'm coaching them all that, but I'm like, don't forget you're the problem too, if that's the case, right? So, what I mean is like when you get to that point, what can you do in the future to avoid some of this? And we we already talked about that, like spoiler, we just gave you some of that, figure out your values, be clear, all of that. But um, there's another part that a lot of times I'm seeing this a lot lately is there's this direct communication piece missing.

SPEAKER_00 14:02

Oh God, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:03

So, and that sucks, you know, especially we're service providers and stuff, or excuse me, I like I do a provider service, obviously, but who I coach is a lot of service providers, your back end, online business managers, operations, creatives, marketing agencies, and stuff like that. And so a lot of times it's them with this client, you know, that are facing this, and they have to unfortunately step up and be the leader because they have to fill in those direct communication holes. Like someone, the amount of times I see on the other side, I'm like, that person needs a coach. I don't know who their client is. That's not what I'm talking about. But when they give me examples, I'm like, that's out of your scope to handle. But here's what you can do in the future. And what I mean, and it comes to some of this, this misalignment from the get is like a client that's a partnership, and the partners aren't communicating well. One comes in this channel outside of what was set for me communication, so they don't know about this approval over here and all of that. That comes with you, you have to stop the train falling off the tracks there, and you have to reset those expectations that you did in the beginning. This is where we communicate, you know, this is why, this is how approvals go, all of that, because you're like protecting your sanity. So when we talk about red flags and green flags and orange flags, I'm obsessed with that by the way. Is there anything you could do that moves them to orange or not? You know, it's not like not that it's your role to do so, but how long do you let that go before you just off-board them? So it's always this fine line because that's a lot of what happens is they can't get it together. They're a red flag client, they got to go. So, how can you spot the red flags before you ever start working with them? And if it's kind of too late and you're already in there because you didn't, because some of that you don't know, people aren't gonna show up on a discovery call all the time and be like, we suck at communicating with each other and hear about CS fight on a call. Rarely, if they do, then your red flags are freaking easy. Get rid of them, you know? Um, but that's uh just not the case sometimes. Sometimes it's like alignment on paper, it feels like alignment, and you had a great call, and you're like, I can certainly help with all those things. And we laughed because you have inappropriate humor, and then we start working together, and you're like, So there's a few issues here, a few things that aren't going to work. You then have to figure out how to tackle that. And I find that direct communication is always key. What actually they need is someone else coaching them how to work as a partnership, like in this case that I'm giving you, they need someone else in there, but you can't just like deal with the frustration all the time because they don't have that. So, what can you do about it?

SPEAKER_00 16:29

Oh my gosh. Yeah, I just just some guidelines and some boundaries, and then see how that goes. And if they start to disrespect that, then you gotta know. Like, it's like that's all you can really do, like, is set the boundaries. You had something cool that you said in your podcast, um, Rooted and Relentless. That's your podcast. Okay, you said if so someone goes goes into your coaching membership and then they're literally not active. And you've hey, hey, how you doing? Are you alive? And they literally are not doing the work, they're not active. And you said you you off-board them, you don't even like just let their money keep running through your system. You're like, hey, you're out. Like, because I don't see you're being active. Like, I don't think many people do that. Why do you why do you take that action?

SPEAKER_02 18:45

Well, uh, because me to start with, um, it was definitely a me thing, is what started this. Is like I couldn't, why? I couldn't live in that zone of like, why aren't you? Like, what do you need? Could I be doing something differently? That's kind of how it started. So it kind of started with my own, like, what could I be delivering here? What do you need? And at the end of the day, I sell it for a purpose. If that purpose isn't happening, then you are wasting my time and energy. And that's not from a negative place that I'm making it sound like. Because a lot of people will be like, well, they'll pay me the money and they'll let me know when they need me. I take the proactive approach that was started with a single kind of one-to-one little very small offer. They could hop in my Slack and I was like back pocket coach. And that was great for like two or three months, but then the level of support they needed was beyond back pocket at that point. Back pocket should be more of like a after offer. We've done all the deep work in the one run, right? And you can like pop in and ask me questions later. Whereas I had created it and it was like their intro to me because I was trying to meet the market, I was trying to meet those service providers who couldn't quite invest yet, and I knew the help they needed, and it was just all ass backwards, if you will. And so it had some immediate support for them, and they found mad value, and then we kind of hit this two or three months for one or two, and and life had happened or something. They just didn't, there wasn't enough one-on-one for them to get comfortable with me and the way I coached to say, I can't use this right now because literally my life fell apart, and this happened. Um, so I was asking, I was just proactively like, okay, you went radio silent, what's going on? You're not doing the things you wanted, you're not hitting that revenue mark. So you clearly have still needs here, but now you're not playing an active role in those needs, what's going on? And that allowed me to naturally off-board some people because they were honest. I gave them, I guess, more than anything, the open door to be comfortable just being honest with me. Like, oh, I'm not going to be able to do what I thought I was going to here. Versus, I think in our space, especially, people get concerned about how that affects their reputation. Like, do you want to tell someone who's very visible in public that suddenly you can't run your business the way you thought for three to six months? You know, I think that's their default until they get to know me and they're like, yeah, I can tell stuff at anything, actually. But I take that in my programs and stuff too, you know. Now, Marie, like, there's a group program, and I haven't had to off-board anyone like from my mastermind specifically for this, but I start paying attention to engagement. You know, we've only been live October, and there's this four-month where engagement wanes. That's a statistic that's not for me. But we hit, yeah, four to five months for me now. If we did October and now we're in March, where I'm paying attention to has their has it has what they need shifted? And that's typically what it is, right? It's like you've met now, because four intensive months together, and I'm doing evergreen. Have we hit what they initially came in for? And what else can I do? But as people disengage, I also have those conversations because it's more empowering them. Like, if this isn't why you need any more one, it's market research. So tell me what you do need to have.

SPEAKER_00 21:34

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 21:36

If we've hit that mark, what other mark do we need to hit? Um, and in programs like this, groups to answer your original question of like the purpose of off-boarding would be I have a really active community and a really engaged community, whether they're on my Monday mastermind call or in the platform together, whereas some other communities you'll see that like there's one lane or something where people are really active, but like then the platform is like crickets, and no one can put in a piece of copy and get actual feedback or something there or or what they're looking for. I set those expectations from the beginning. If you couldn't tell already, that I like to set expectations from the start, and it's this community only works if you work. You can only come in here and put that you want eyes on something if you're also doing that in return. And so I set the engagement expectations that this is an exchange, it's not a come and take everything I need. Um yeah, if it was that would be different, but it's not. That's it's a mastermind, right? So, what is your offer in your program? And then I keep those communication lines open or I restart them if I feel like you know somebody's starting to kind of fade to the dark a little bit in the back end. Why? What is it again? Is it market research? Do you need something else? Is it you and something going on because something personal behind the scenes in my groups is still something to work through? So let's talk through that. And if it's not this anymore and you're not going to show up, then you're actually affecting my engagement rates. You're affecting if I have a guest coming to workshop and I say I have 14 highly engaged members, but there's actually only four, I'm not doing that shit here.

SPEAKER_00 23:02

So that's so oh, that's such a good point. I love everything you just said. Okay, essentially retaining clients. I feel like we're we're so obsessed with on the internet, on the business internet. It's like X amount of months. I hit like revenue, this, revenue that, like how to get new clients. And it's like, hey, what about the current people? And I feel like sometimes we're like forgetting there's there, you already have people in your program who are like are ready to spend more money, but you're you're over here looking the other way all the time for getting in new. So I want to talk about that. Like, how do we like actually retain these clients? Like instead of getting all these highs about signing contracts and getting new deals, and it's like, wait, how do we actually retain these people? Like you have 40 members in your membership, but only five are active. Like, there's top getting more people in. Like, let's get the 35 other people at least talking, you know? So I want to talk about that.

SPEAKER_02 23:53

Like, yeah, I'm like, I'm already bobbing because we can go so many ways with this. But I am huge on attract, retain, and refer. And so, not even like Chase, do I go out and find people? Sure. But mostly let's attract them to you initially, and then let's retain those people. And let me give you one of the first whys that will be so common to people is think about when we're talking about that, like what we've been taught, what you're talking about, is like it's been marketing and sales for years. And you, yes, those matter to your business. Absolutely. Do you know what referrals are though? They're they're marketing, they're free marketing. It's called word of mouth marketing. And so, like, it comes down to which you prefer, sure, omnipresence and all of that, but like also it's a lot easier and less costly for me from a time standpoint, for sure, and a money standpoint, if I'm paying people for support and all of this, to retain and make money off the people I already have than it does to go acquire those. So, this is well known. Client retention is better for your business than client acquisition from a cost standpoint. So, the more that you can retain, that helps your bottom line and your profitability more than acquiring new clients. But let's talk about it in a way that that's like your data nerd moment, a way that everyone will understand. When we talk about marketing, we're talking about social proof and trust a lot. That's a big segment of it, right? If you went to someone in the past five years and you were like, I need help marketing on social media, you would have heard somewhere in there that they need you need to share social proof. People have to trust you to buy from you. I agree. I've said the same thing. They have to trust you to buy from you. And how do you build that trust and all of that? They already trust you if they already bought from you and you delivered. So you immediately bypass what everyone else is telling you you need to do because you've done it. They you already proved in some sort of way they're your social proof. Like, think about it. If I was telling you to go get on Instagram right now and share a social proof and create a use case, you would use a client as your use case. We're saying use that use case. You don't even got to go tell people about that. I mean, you do, we I still want you to do that. But what I'm saying is you don't even like you're gonna do that because it's a normal part of your setup now, and yeah, you want new clients. Leverage the use case. You're talking, the people that you're trying to turn into a pretty Instagram carousel are sitting there waiting on you to re-engage them or to give them the best experience that you can so that they not only retain, but they refer people to you. So again, we talked about like trust, and we just said that retaining clients is better than acquiring new clients from like a profitability standpoint, but also then they refer people to you, and if they're aligned, they're the right people. So now you have money showing up while you sleep essentially, and it doesn't completely bypass the trust factor, but it's a little bit more than just your blind cold marketing that is trying to attract or go find people. You because someone that is trusted, if you go refer me to someone you know, Marie, they have a little bit of trust. So let's just, I can't throw a blanket percentage out there because it would be lying, but let's just, you know, hope it's at least the 20 or 40 percent already on the trust. And all I then have to do is start that conversation and do your you're jumping kind of right into your sales process instead of your marketing process at that point of like, okay, Marie sent you to me, what's going on? You know, tell me about it. Uncover their pain points, smack them over the head with how you fix it, send your offer, you're good to go. So client retention, better than client acquisition. Then you get referrals. So not only did you save money, but you're making more money on top of that because you're getting referrals, and hopefully you're gonna leverage those existing clients for some upgraded offer, some exclusive access inside of the mastermind. And now I've made more money on top of that.

SPEAKER_00 27:34

How do we like reward these people? Like your like business besties, the your your referral clients referring the crap out of you. Like, how do you actually like reward these people?

SPEAKER_02 27:43

For me, it just depends on like the program. So in my mastermind, I have a and I think that this is strategy for me all the time is personalized. Sometimes you don't have to do anything, you don't have to give them money. Excuse me, I shouldn't say do anything because you always want to thank people, right?

SPEAKER_01 27:58

Yeah, yeah. Like a good thank you.

SPEAKER_02 28:00

Yeah, a good thank you. Um, but it kind of depends on that. It's like, is do you formalize something? Do you need it to leverage it to make more money? It depends on what that formalization looks like. And or is it just like if you have one-on-one, right? You there's a very real capacity load to it. You're gonna hit some ceiling on one-on-one, right? So when it think of referring people like that, maybe that's less of like here's a big monetary referralness or something because you can only refer so many people to me, but some sort of gift or thank you or shout out publicly works. Like what would help them the most? And I do systematize that a little bit on the back end because I don't want to go two or three years without act at like accidentally not thinking someone in our space, we become a bit like friends, you know, even if it's not like I can't meet you all the time for cocktail, you know, Marie. But like we care and respect each other enough from that baseline that we'll send each other. Like, I consider us biz buddies. Well, now we're collaborators technically because of today. So when we talk about like stakeholders, is the approach I take. Because if you're just floating, if you're not focusing on your client experience, you're leaving way too much money on the table. We just proved that. But it's more than just clients in our business, especially as like solopreneurs and lean teams. We are everyone who has a stake in our business carries our reputation, and our reputation is our revenue in this business. Well, you and I are proof of that, right? If you don't see throughout this collaboration process that I stand on business, you probably won't tell other people they should have me on their podcast, and that could affect my visibility. It's the same thing as the client experience we were just talking. So putting that best foot forward builds your reputation. People start to know you as what you stand for. They start to trust that you deliver what you say, and then they start saying your name and rooms you're not in, and that is your revenue engine. That's the one that you want. So it's not just clients, it's collaborators, it's business buddies. And that's what I was getting to here is like before today, you and I technically hadn't collaborated, but we met on a networking call last year. We hit it off, we became friends on Instagram, kind of talking and commenting. And had I known someone that needed podcast editing services or high-ticket sales, I would say your name, right? In the same way you would be comfortable referring me out, even though we hadn't, even though we haven't worked together yet. And so what I like to do is keep a track of everyone that falls in that category, and then have a little reminder in my system, like task management, so a sauna or something like that. That's like clients, it's a lot more formalized. I send them gifts at certain points. In my mastermind, there's an affiliate program, so they get referrals because they were naturally popping up on their stories and talking about me. And that's the best, best gift you can give me, right? And so I do then just recently, that's my first really rewards program or referral program that's like formalized, is my mastermind. But on the back end, consider what the trade-off is of what people are doing, and sometimes it's just that if they're referring and you're referring, that's good enough. That's your referral program, you know, that's how you think people. But like every six months, I have a task to just kind of look through that list so I can intentionally think through like, oh, I haven't I haven't thanked Maria lately or sent someone her way recently, or something like that. Um, and then with clients, it's just a little more, it's also easier to send them money because I already have their payment details or set up in PayPal.

SPEAKER_00 31:22

Okay, something I did last year that y'all can absolutely steal is I held a Christmas party just for my clients. Obviously, ideally, I would love to meet up in person, have this party, but it was online. And like we just like talk shit, played games. I sent them a little coffee. Well, when I'm even wealthier, I'll send them a nicer gift. But you know, I sent them a hot chocolate coffee, yeah. It's it's not like it was a crazy amount, but like it's just that that thought of like go get yourself a hot chocolate and like um just hosting like your like own exclusive thing. So something that I have a membership now called Cocktails and Clothes, but before that, it was just a experience just for my clients where I was like, guys, what do you want to learn about in your businesses? And I'll go find the best expert for you, and it's just for you guys to have a QA with this expert. Like I was like trying to create a experience just for them outside of just our like normal experience. So and now it became a whole membership, but still I feel like that's something I've done. I've done I've hosted little Christmas parties or their own like expert masterminds with whoever they want to meet. So, how have you how have you like done like little your little magic tricks for your clients?

SPEAKER_02 32:26

Yeah, I like the exclusive of that. Let's not skip over that, Marie, because I think that's probably underutilized too. And the fact that you were like, I'll go find an expert for this. So then they're not like what program or what what do I need to join and do now to solve this gap? You're like, you tell me the gap and I'll just take care of the groundwork for you and we'll show up and we'll have a good time together.

SPEAKER_00 32:46

A while, but then everyone wanted to join in, and I was like, is it okay if I opened this up? And they actually said yes because they've realized the networking is again what brings in business. They're like, Yes, please bring in more people. But before, for about six months, it was just a private experience from just my clients where like they wanted to learn about paid ads. I was like, bitch, I'll go find the best paid ads expert for you guys. So that's like what I've yeah, I think the exclusivity makes it makes them feel like I'm in Steph Rubio's crew, you know.

SPEAKER_02 33:14

Yeah, I am I am of the people now. Okay, I call this being extra. Yeah, so bringing something extra. So this is a difficult one too to peel back because it's like everything I do. Some my baseline is extra to some people, if that makes sense. So I'll give you one example that's more classic that it is extra for some people, um, is I do onboarding gifts for everyone, and I don't think that's yeah, that's not like uncommon, but I do, and there's strategy to it because everything I do has a touch of strategy. One, it's branded. So when they go posting this everywhere, oh my god, thank you so much. It's branded with my stuff. Obviously, they're tagging me in their shout-outs and stuff like that, but it's another like a little extra on top of that. Like when I launched the mastermind at the end of last year, I called the founding round the Clarity Coven for no other reason than like it was October, it was witchy, make them feel special. That's exclusive, right?

SPEAKER_00 34:08

I love that. It's like a theme. I love that.

SPEAKER_02 34:10

Yeah, and the coven, so they the founding team members like the coven, so they have this camaraderie among them. They were the first, right? Well, in addition to this, this nice onboarding box that is branded that has gifts they'll actually utilize in it, and so it's like pens that they'll use, notebooks that they'll use, and it's related to these are the doers, the operators, the action takers. They're always taking notes and shit, so it's stuff that they'll use. I put a little, um, I'm looking, I don't have it in here, like a little crocheted witch in there that's about this tall, and would sit on your desk. Nothing they could use, but it was related to the theme, and every time they see it, use it, someone asked them about it now. Guess who they're gonna talk about? And they're exclusive for being in there. So I send gifts to everyone, and the tier depends on like again the offer. So um, those boxes were$60, which was pretty heavy for like my founding round trade-off. But one, that should be in your pricing offer. If you don't understand pricing your offers and stuff like that, it's more than just like your hourly, it's actually the cost to deliver that service, and the cost to deliver that is a jam up experience, and that's part of it. Um, but then like if it is like um depending on the tier, so my one-on-one support is a lot higher, so they'll get one of those nice boxes. You still get something nice and branded. It might be a padded envelope with that notebook and that pen, you know, no cool little witch, because it's it it doesn't count. But that's a little way that I like to be extra and also make sure it pays off for me, like in this ripple effect, so that folks are having conversations, or you know, something branded comes up on their camera and someone likes it and they're talking about it, then you get to talk about it.

SPEAKER_00 35:50

I love that. Like an on-boarding gift, like just like that's just the little things. It's just the little things where you're like, I feel so special. I I did a whole episode on this, um, but it actually was very popular, which makes me feel like people really want to learn about this. It's just like people just want to feel special. And just that little tiny witch, it's just such a nice touch. It's just such a nice touch. And like it just in the end, like customer services is everything like it really is.

SPEAKER_02 36:17

Like it is the difference in people again staying with you and being so balled in. It's one of the things I'm proud of. It's like I have a community that's so balled in, they're ready for the next thing I do, they're ready to hear the next thing I say, and that comes from really a culmination of what we're talking about here. It's like I know my values and I live them. I provide the experience as they paid with a little extra. So always deliver what the hell they paid for to the best of your abilities. And then I build with intention too. So one thing it's so hard to package this and talk about it, though, Marie, is like it's similar to what you're doing, but I don't even like stop to do it, if you will. So I got complimented recently from one of my mastermind members actually that was like, you the the guest workshops I was having were so spot on and so on time with what they need. And they're like, You build with such intention. And I'm like, I do, and I'm proud of that. But what I also did to be able to do that is take the data I have in my hands. They're talking about this all the time. And in my group specifically, right, we started with audits, seven audits. So I literally have data I could pull from spreadsheets, put into Chat GPT, and say, tell me what the hell we need to be doing here. I could read that too, obviously. I did, and I had noted some throughout reviewing all of their audits and all of these plans we were doing, but I had it in my fingertips. I can hear the struggles, I can also pay attention to what people online are saying that are in the same stage of business, or um, maybe like the stage right before, so I know what stage they're moving into and start to fill gaps early. But it's it like extra that would be extra to some people, but I'm like that's just built into how I deliver, and I do make it easy on myself as in just paying attention to what people are talking about. And in your one-on-ones, you have notes, right? Put those notes into AI and ask it to pull out themes for me. Five minutes after my master, my Monday calls, I can spend and like what we talked about, because I got a little notebook here, I jot down my circles like this or my ADHD. Okay, I can't see.

SPEAKER_00 38:19

I'm like that.

SPEAKER_02 38:22

And I'm like, so when you're saying something, I'm like, trust, you're gonna say that to Marie, you know? It's like that's my ticker not to forget. Well, I do that in my mastermind calls, and so I like will sit there mostly to create a reel or a story really quick that's gonna be promo. Like, this is what we covered, and this is the way I coached and stuff. But what I found really shocking that I started to talk about today was like the themes are almost the same. The problems, the three problems we talked over today were different, but they all came back to a theme of like direct communication, having the hard conversation, managing the people around you. And so if that's a theme with three people, that's a theme with a lot of people. And so, do we pull someone in to talk about it? Do I create a master class on it?

SPEAKER_00 38:59

Something I do is um I'm a bit, I just love a poll. I love a poll. And I have daily polls in my community. Um, some are silly, some are like team edward or team Jacob, you know, but then some are like low-key market research. And so like today's poll was um what are you focused on this month? Okay. Everyone's everyone, 44% say Legion, new leads, invisibility. That means I probably should get someone on Legion as for my workshops, you know, like and then just polling everyone, like for sometimes I do polls like, hey guys, pick these three options for your experts. So then they poll, and I now I know they're gonna love the workshop because they polled for it. So I that's also a very, very simple thing you can do too. If you don't want to do an audit or something, like just fucking ask, like exactly anticipating the needs. Like it I feel like I worked in restaurants for years, so I feel like I just understand uh customer service because like it's the same thing, but faster, like anticipating needs, like making people feel warm when they come in and when they leave. Like that's another thing. Offboarding, offboarding needs to feel super warm too, because that's the last experience they have with you. And like, let's say it just ended your mastermind, it shouldn't be like cool, bye. Like, right, how does that person leave where they're like I feel so taken care of? And like maybe have like a maybe a last one on 30 minute one-on-one sesh where you can review of like, what did we go over? How have I seen you change? You know, what are your goals? And then they leave so cozy.

SPEAKER_02 40:26

Yes, and build that into like people hear that. I can almost guarantee someone heard that and they were like, Well, that's time, that's this price for it. If you're gonna off board everyone with a 30-minute call, that's 30 minutes of your time, you're baking that into your pricing first off. So you're covered from that standpoint, and you can also make this fit yours. So, like my thoughts were like, Okay, if you can't do 30, you can send a loom that's personalized, that's two minutes, and that has that same. So, it's that personalization and that care because you should hopefully want to sell to them at some point in the future, unless they really have phased out of what you do. Yeah, they are still going to be a great referral engine from you. So, yes, the care that you give them, and I would say through offboarding in any sort of re-engagement strategy. And a lot of people don't have a re-engagement strategy at all or even know what it is, and it's exactly that is like you nurture them very similar to how you nurture new clients, just probably further apart because we're probably nurturing someone that hit our lead magnet like every day. Yeah, you know. So a client that just offboarded, we don't need to do that, but we should what you know makes sense for you to drip them once every three months for the next year. What makes sense? Is it and it doesn't have to be anything to do with you at one point? You can obviously strategically then sell to them at some point, but it's like how I saw this blog article and it made me think of you, and you can totally automate that too, based on, but like in you know, here's this podcast episode, here's whatever makes you think of, and have them like your touch points shouldn't end just because your paid relationship ends.

SPEAKER_00 41:55

Oh my gosh, no. Yeah, like again, you're the that's the last experience they have with you, so that's the next thing they're gonna think of when they're referring you, is like the literal last experience. So seeing our referrals, because we're gonna go into cocktail hour, Rachel Perry, our friend, is the perfect example of someone who's a fucking homie. Like all she does is refer everyone in her network, and that's all I hear about is your mastermind. All I hear about is your mastermind. And it gives me the most FOMO, and it's like that's a perfect example of this whole entire episode is someone like our friend Rachel Perry, who's been on this podcast. And so I feel like, yeah, let's talk about your mastermind and your podcast. So good, and then we'll get into cocktail hour. And any of you have any last things you wanted to cover that I missed out on.

SPEAKER_02 42:39

Yeah, no, I mean, I could talk about this all day, so we have to cap the conversation at some point because this is really just scratching the surface of like what I bring it back to again, being that strategic ripple effect. It's not one trade-off that you get from focusing in this area. And like the next layer, I would say, as everyone listens to this and they start thinking through like how they can give a great experience to every stakeholder, the the how is in your systems and your workflows. You need to turn every single part of this into a workflow that you can repeat. And workflows are as simple as a one, two, three, four, five and a Google Doc to as complex as setting that up into a system that automates for you. Only you and your team can really determine like what stage fits you for that. But that's how you follow this up is to make sure that you're actually caring for everyone. And it you have to filter it through how do I want them to feel? What experience do I want them to have? Because what happens is we usually start with systems, especially if you're operations folks. You do some systems stuff because you're like, I don't have the capacity, we've got to do this quick and give them the best experience. And the experience actually gets lost in the steps that systems will allow you to set up when you always have to come back to that's why I like start with a Google Doc, a brand dump, put in order. What do I want that to be? And as a systems and operations scale, it shocks a lot of people to know that I don't workflow anything really unless there's gonna be a large amount, but nothing, even my founding round was 10. So I handled most of that manually following my process though. So I set up the workflow. How do I want them to feel? What do I want this onboarding experience to be? And if I deliver this first one manually to find any holes or anything I want to adjust or change or make that form different or move it here, then we'll automate it later. So that's how you give everyone the best experience. That's really the last like closeout. As far as my mastermind, I mean of Rachel, is she is a homie, like you said. She has loved on and supported me way before we started working together, which was the mastermind in October. So me and Rachel have been kicking it since like into 2024 now, probably, um, maybe early 2025. An example of someone who notices the intention, who feels that care, and who knows other people genuinely need what I have to offer, who accredits like my support even before, because again, we didn't start working together until October, but she found support in my methods and how I show up boldly and demand that like other women and entrepreneurs do the same in some way, shape, or form, like start staying true to them. She attributes like me and my support before ever paying me and the way I show up on Instagram in some of the success she's had. And we know that she's been pretty bold, like what she's done herself, and I take that to heart. That's why I have the podcast. Like, it's obviously a I consider it like a free way to work with me. I know a lot of people are like, you know, you do podcasts, Marie. It's like your visibility. Does it help me with that? Yeah, for sure. Um, it's going to, but It's also a way that I can give people free advice who can't maybe afford to pay me yet. And they will at some point and they will find still like it expands my impact. I can help other women and historically underrepresented entrepreneurs learn why something matters and kind of give them the control and the power to go do something about it.

SPEAKER_00 45:53

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I've only heard incredible things about your mastermind. And then I I love your podcast. I mean, I could listen to your voice all day. It's so sexy. Um, yeah. So I I feel like I'll I'll have everything in the show notes for that, especially if your mastermind send me those links for sure. Um and I feel like yeah, just find your business bestie. Like who's the girl who like always hyped you up? That's probably your pipeline. Like, like low-key.

SPEAKER_02 46:20

For sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:21

Like find that, find that person.

SPEAKER_02 46:23

Yeah, the person that hypes you up, your clients that are obsessed with you, that talk about you in rooms you're not in. The same with collaborators, anyone who like sends something your way, put your claws in calmly, you know, thank them. Love on them. But put your claws in and keep them around. And a lot of that is just reciprocal. Like, how can you reciprocate what they've done? So if it's just shout out.

SPEAKER_00 46:46

So it's like, I love that you can ask, be like, girl, what you did means the world to me. How how can I support you? Put it back in their court.

SPEAKER_02 46:54

I do that a lot too. If there's no actual value exchange, uh sorry, not value, monetary exchange. So um, like clients, you know, that's obvious. They're paying you and that they're referring people, you can set up a referral and pay them. So money's a great one, but what is what is uh another like value exchange that would be helpful in asking people, like if it's a referral, if it's a shout-out, like you, if it's money, then cool. What are we setting up here? And it needs to like the again needs to align with what you're trying to achieve in your business. Like if you're doing one-on-one only, like I said earlier, and you hit there's a very real capacity ceiling you're going to hit, why would you go spend time creating a referral program that gives someone$500 every time they refer someone your way? You can only help five, ten people this month.

SPEAKER_00 47:37

Oh god, that's me. Okay, well, let's get into cocktail hour. Which is my favorite part where we can just literally yap. Um, so my first question to you is what is your current life motto right now?

SPEAKER_02 47:49

What is my current life motto? Live. Just live. Yeah, just live. Um, yeah, I'm like, oh god, I how do I buy if it's a motto, I can't give you a paragraph. You know, that's the so if I had to sum it up, it would come to live. Because, you know, like it I have like hard has been my default. I was talking about this recently. Like, there's been hard with losing my dad. There's been hard with caring for my brothers, there's been this hard. And when I talk about this on social media, it gives this like, oh, things are really hard for Stephanie right now. Well, that's not the highlight of the story. Heart is not fucking, that is not um foreign to me. Like, there's been a lot of hard in life, you know? And so I tell people a lot of times, like, my default is it's work and it's busy and it's taking care of all the things. So what I have to do, what I have to prioritize is me and my life. Because the rest of the shit, especially as women, that's our default. It's caring about the kids, it's caring about my brother, it's caring about my business. And worse, I love what I do in my business. A lot of people wouldn't say that's worse, but I'm like, I work right harder for me than I did. I never worked at 8 p.m. for anyone else. Um, and I understand workloaded capacity, so you'd no need to at me there. I could talk about like my why all day that I've changed my schedule. But some people find it really fascinating when I get in and I'm like, no, you have to find 30 minutes to an hour for yourself. When I start working with women that are like, I can't though. I have kids. Yes, you can. I have kids too. You have to put your life first at some point. You have to live because it's only yours at the end of the day. Another hard concept for people to get is because I'm like, oh, well, my partner cares for sure. He helps, uh, it's not even helping. He does a ton, he wants me to be happy, but he does not own my happiness. I do at the end of the day. Not one single person does more than me because it's my life. So this is more of like a that part's kind of a newer realization to me, and like live, obviously, for losing my dad, but he did live. So it's not even a spark of that. It's just that it's more apparent to me than ever that every single day, kind of every hour of breath, every month is limited. We all know that. Um I have to live it every day, not just one day. Not when I do this thing and then I'll do that, and I'm when I do this other thing and then I'll do that. Like I have to live it right now because that's what adds up to your to my life.

SPEAKER_00 50:22

Oh man, I needed that. I'm also like, my hope my friend Andrea is listening to this podcast. I hope you heard that, Andrea.

SPEAKER_02 50:28

Um Andrea, you better put yourself first.

SPEAKER_00 50:30

Yeah, yeah, because we talk about this all the time. I don't even know what to say. I feel like yeah, so this past year, like year of the snake, whatever, I went into the most hibernation mode I've ever had in my life. Like, I literally for a year, a year, I all I did was work and work out to scale my business. And it's fine. I'm not ashamed of that. I had I really didn't need that, but I'm like coming out of I'm literally coming out of that hibernation, and I'm like, Yeah, oh my god, I've not lived. I was talking to Rachel Perry on it we had recorded. I was like, you know, I have no memories from last year. Bizarre, right?

SPEAKER_02 51:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:05

Because I had I literally went to hibernation mode for I I really needed to though.

SPEAKER_02 51:10

I was about to say, I think that like, you know, these are one of these hard conversations to have because it's like there's not, we're not giving you a black and white, it's there's a one-way to do it thing. It's like I do those too. I have these really intense periods, and I said that I went into it over the past couple weeks after losing my dad because I was like, my coping is like getting the fuck out of my head. And the only way to do that is to tunnel into other people's businesses, to grow, to work on this momentum and stuff like that, and do what I do. So it's seasons and stages for real, I think, where it's okay. What you have to do is notice those signals, yeah, in yourself and stuff like that, and like and know when to pump the brakes, when to swerve lanes or whatever. And I do it a lot more frequently, probably than people realize, and a lot more frequently than like a year at a time. Like, I almost go through stages where if I'm building and I'm in that creative zone launching the podcast in the mastermind last year, catch me going crazy and having a blast doing it, but then you have to like come out of this. And um, when I do that, when I like overload my capacity for build phases or something, and and I let loose of some of those things I do for myself every day, like taking a walk outside in nature, yes. Um, not only to move my body, but doing it without electronics, without a podcast in my ear, without my phone is huge for me. Well, when I get really busy, and then the kids get busy, like, catch me in two months, honestly, slapping myself over the hand, listening to this podcast, because the kids are about to start all their sports, and I will eventually backburden myself a little bit. But what happens is I notice the signals two or three weeks into that. My mental health struggles that my physical health struggles, obviously, and I'm like, oh, that's why. And then a week back into my routine to walking every single day and putting myself first, I'm like, well, this is why you did it because you're such a nice person now. After that 30 minutes, you're not a raging bitch right now because you're overwhelmed. Like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 53:06

And I want to like pause and and I feel like because someone could be listening to this and they could be like going down a rabbit hole of like shame. I'd be like, fuck, I haven't done that. Oh and it's like, okay, like as a person who's dealt with like serious like eating disorders, you can go down like the spiraling of shame, and then it makes you like think black and white of like you need to be doing you either need to be like the girl who works out and does her business 24-7, or you can like just reset and be like, you know what? I haven't gone a walk in a week, or and there's no shame attached to that.

SPEAKER_02 53:34

Right.

SPEAKER_00 53:35

Or I'm gonna do 10 minutes and not not an hour, just 10 minutes, and then you can start to build up because I feel like that that'll happen where they're like, Oh, I just haven't done it in a while, like I just suck. And then you're like, No, just just start back start back small, and then you'll build up again, and then you'll go through a period again, let's be honest, in three months where you're like, fuck, I I haven't I forgot, I got off track again. Like, just talk to yourself nicely, I feel like with that for sure, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:59

Notice it, like if you notice a signal, first off, go ahead and celebrate that because most people can't even do that, that self-awareness, and then like try to, I would say, eventually build in some that you don't negotiate with yourself on, and it comes with that putting yourself first. So when you go write your business goals next quarter or next year, put yourself at the top, your revenue goal at the bottom. You shouldn't only have one. And because of exactly what I said, I know what I'll do. I will chase that revenue goal and I will succeed, and I will love that shit, and everybody will have fun. That is my default. So I have to prioritize myself because it's not my default. So let the default do its thing. And ways that, like, to give an example of exactly what you're saying is when I'm talking about like my 30-minute walk, it's actually a walk because of what you're talking about. Like, I was hardcore, I hardcore worked out all my life from kickboxing, sports when I was younger, crossfit, and all of that. And then life happened. I had young kids, COVID happened, there weren't gyms or anything, and my daughter was three months when COVID hit the US, right? And so we some parents can go into the gym and work out like the garage and work out with their kids. I can't, man. I can't. We have tried all the things, so it was either it was just not working out for a long time, and that was really bad for me. I didn't see walking as a workout because of all that other stuff I did, right?

SPEAKER_00 55:17

The literally same. Oh god, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 55:20

Okay, so this was my way of tricking myself around it, and I'll tell you, I'm three years into walking every day with the exceptions we talked about of like I'm in one of those exceptions right now. But the weather's changing and I'll be coming back out of my cocoon in a little bit. Um, but I had to first say, why, Stephanie? Like, if it's not extreme working out, you can't go to the gym, you can't get yourself into the garage instead of beating myself up. We have a garage gym, but I cannot get myself to get in there. Instead of living in that, I was just accepted. That's not my jam. I'm obviously not going to be disciplined to get in there every day, but I can walk out of my front door and not come back for 30 minutes.

SPEAKER_00 55:53

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 55:54

Um, and if I can do that, if I can build that into the 30 minutes a day, then I can do whatever I want in that 30 minutes. I thought would be me tricking myself into like working out in the garage and we're two to three years in, and that's not what happened. But I can more easily find 30 minutes to walk every day and I'm like, cool, we're that's cool. I'm cool with that.

SPEAKER_00 56:10

I can do whatever you needed that because I I've been in these weird spells where like I'm at the gym for three hours. Three hours. I'm like, I'm gonna do yoga, then I'm gonna do the hit class, I'm gonna do the string class in the next two days. I'm actually so sore I can't move. And then I'm like, I this is not how you're supposed to do this. Like, I I don't I don't know why my head working out is literally you need to be like on the verge of tears when it's like what you just want to walk. Yeah, like I don't know what's happened over the past few years, but like I've just been like in these extreme boot camp. I think it's because like I saw myself getting stronger that in ways I never thought I could. And I was like, This is how you work out, you get strong, you know. And that's but then it causes these extremes, and yeah, actually I mean Laura. I'm actually living with Laura for this month. I don't know if you knew her, but hey, I didn't know that. Yeah, we're gonna go on a walk, we're gonna pause actually after this and go on a walk after because I'm like, we could work all day, we could we will we will because like I love how you said like each of each quarter, you're like, what not the revenue goals, what's your goals? Yeah, because we we we are all high achievers, we will hit that fucking goal. That's not the issue, right?

SPEAKER_02 57:15

Yeah. Catch me finding clients, selling, delivering, giving the best experience all the time. Like catch me spending a month not going on a walk because I'm doing all of that, like it's just not and whatever works for you works for you. Like I said, my mindset literally was like tricking myself. Like, I'm just gonna start the walks and then I'll go back over here and I'll like I didn't even consider those workouts, and now I'm like, well, a doctor would tell me that 30 minutes a day walking is the best thing for my heart. So boom, I'm working out and taking care of my mental health. There's other things I do too, that's not all. So just to be clear, like I've gotten to the point through effort and some of the realizations that it is in my life I have to put my love first, that there are things I don't negotiate on that are for me. And I take a hot bath every single night, and um, I work with moms that are like, I can't. And I'm like, Yeah, you can. You're just choosing not to. I'll lock my kids out of the bathroom. Like, and to moms, that's the worst thing in the world. Some of them, right? It's like, how could I not be there when my kid needs me for 30 minutes out of a 24-hour day?

SPEAKER_00 58:21

Yeah. Also train them to it'll train them to be like, Yeah, we're good now.

SPEAKER_02 58:25

They know mom is in there. Like, if there was guilt at first, so you're gonna walk through those things. It was like, oh my god, my kid's on the other side, or I'll tell my husband, like, I'm gonna go take it, you know, make sure you know that the kids don't let them come in there because I would feel bad if they started knocking and crying then, and he would just have to entertain them, and now he doesn't have to entertain them, and we don't have to trick them into mom is not available, it's just that the door is locked because I'm taking a bath and that's it. Um, because I realized if I can't have 30 minutes out of a 24-hour day, that's a fucking problem.

SPEAKER_00 58:51

That's a you're the red flag.

SPEAKER_02 58:53

Yeah, that's a fucking problem. And that carries into so I'm gonna do that and take my 30-minute walk because the same thing. If I can't take one hour for myself out of a 24-hour day, that's a fucking problem.

SPEAKER_00 59:06

Yeah, yeah. I hope this yelled at everyone, including my it didn't help. Yeah, y yelled at me. Um okay, Steph, we need to have you back on for so much shit. You just might be one of those like ongoing guests.

SPEAKER_02 59:18

Repeat, we just put a recurring podcast on the back.

SPEAKER_00 59:20

Yeah, because I'm like, there's just like this is like two percent of like what I feel like I have so many questions for you. Like, I just love your energy. I like the minute I met you, I was like, who is that bitch? Like that just like the your office, your energy, your voice. Ugh, I was like, I need her.

SPEAKER_02 59:37

Yeah, you said my voice a couple times. I know we talked about this, but like we have. I never said this on your podcast though, so it's worth saying that like you have said that to me a couple times that like you like my voice, and uh that happened a lot to me the past couple of years. And this is the kind of crazy cool stuff that happens in online in our businesses that you don't sign up for, um, but just happens is I was picked on a lot growing up for my voice being so deep and like picked on and called a man a couple times, especially from the jealous bitches in the town over when I would date one of the dudes, couldn't stand it. And then on the other side is like going through a drive-thru or calling someone and they're like, Yes, sir. And as a teenager, yeah, as a teenager who was like getting picked on like it was a problem, that was devastating at times for me. Oh my god, yeah. Well, then you become a woman and you're like, I don't fucking care. Actually, I used it for myself, like I need to be careful what I say. I'll tell you the legal one I do, I guess, is it shit. Now I gotta say it all because I'm making it sound like I do illegal shit. Um, anyways, at their time, say with my husband when like he was the only one on the phone account, and like, oh, we can't do this because it's your husband. I'm like, oh shit. I'd hang up and call back, and I'm like, yeah, the last four of my social is, you know, 0089. That's not his, so you're cool. But I'm like, I could easily get anything I needed done by calling and being my husband.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:55

Fucking love that. And they ate it up.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:58

Yeah, it was like whatever. Like, she sounds like a dude, so I can just do whatever I want. I can fraudulently pretend to be my husband and take all his money, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:08

I don't, I guess, like with your voice, I'm not even thinking that it sounds mainly. It's just so like well, it's a southern accent. I'm always a soccer fern. I just a sucker fern accent. And like it's just so sultry. I don't know, it's just like whatever you say you'll do. Mine, like, whatever. Or if you can go for a walk, I'll go for a walk.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:27

Yeah, you're like, sure, are you gonna talk in my ear the whole time, Stephanie?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:30

That's why I like again. That's why I love your podcast. It's like this is what this is for. Like, this is perfect, perfect medium for that. Like, yeah, I could listen to you all day. Um and not everyone has a podcast voice. I will say that as a podcast producer, because some people the voice is important. It's all it's literally, there's nothing else there. There's no visuals, there's there's nothing. So the voice is like pretty crucial when it comes to podcasting.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:53

Yeah, that's a good point. So is it it's the the sound of the voice, I guess, too, not just inflection and tone and stuff. Because yes, I have a deeper voice, but I also bring the energy with the ups and fucking downs of what I talk. So I know you can fear that hear that through the other side.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:09

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Um, but and then and then we talked about like maybe you should start singing, but that's interesting.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:14

Okay, so there were bright spots through some of that. One person did tell me I s well that I sounded like the number you would call on the 800 number late at night. And I was like, Oh, all right, I know what you're talking about. I was definitely in my late.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:30

Everyone has so many wild comments, like wild.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:34

And these are randoms because I can't even tell you who it is now, just a man. So this wasn't like a fucking cousin that was like, Oh, you could do that. It was like, all right. Um the oh, the ones that you're okay, yeah. And then another one in Walmart one time in the middle of nowhere, Georgia, was told me that I could sing blues or something like that. I could see that. Oh my god, that's what I'm seeing. So I'm like, You're the second person. So I've never tried a singing career, but I learned a long time ago to never say never.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:59

Yeah, no, don't never say never. Just try it out. This weekend I was like, Oh, I've never ice skated, and then I got on the ice and I was like, This might be the most fun thing I've ever done.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:07

Like, fun, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:09

So I'm like, I'm practicing to be like, it's okay to suck and just start something.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:12

I think my husband will be mad at you when I start singing now all the time.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:16

You really should just go to like a dive bar and be like, give me that mic, real quick.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:22

Yeah, oh, I love a good karaoke.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:24

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:26

I'm a lot wilder than my brand has yet revealed because I'm like was, I shouldn't say am. It's not like I'm hiding anything. I'm also like a busy ass mom now, but yes, definitely catch me singing karaoke. I've danced on bars in my Charlotte Russe BOGO heels until I couldn't feel my pinky toe for a week. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:44

Yes, I always find a table to dance on. Yeah, always, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my signature move. And I have gotten kicked out for that, but it's worth it every time. Same like we're gonna have to come party together.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:57

For sure. Yeah, we'll see each other in person at some point. I know we missed our chance this year, and then we'll miss our chance in April because you're traveling, but we will there'll be so many times.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:05

Like, we have the same, same crew. Like, I feel like we'll we'll figure it out. This just this year's just a bit crazy because I'm like trying to, I'm I'm I'm out and about. I just love talking to Steph. Like, y'all, if you really like Steph, you should go listen to her podcast called Rooted and Relentless. I'll put it in the show notes, but if you're like, I love her voice, I love her energy, I love her mindset, you should go listen to her podcast. Rooted and relentless. It's such a vibe. She also really, really loves like fantasy books. So if that's your cup of tea, you should also go yap with her on Instagram about that. Listen, I I really tried with fantasy books, and I know my friend Rachel's listening to this and is like, ah, here we go. I tried. I tried. I read Court of Thorns and Corns, whatever it's called. I think I had a bit of a problem when I feel like a lot of the scenes had a lot of bestiality in it, let's just say it like that. Like, and I was like, hey, what am I reading right now? What's going on? But if you're like, no, I love that stuff, um, yeah, you should go yeah to the Steph Ruby about fantasy books and stuff. I was actually just talking to my friend. I feel like that part of me died in like high school when I'm really sad about it. Like I used to love Hunger Games and Twilight and Divergent in high school. Like, man, I just feel like the magic died in me and I'm trying to find it, and I'm really jealous of you guys who can read the fantasy books. Little rant right there. But if you like that stuff, go talk to Steph and go listen to her podcast. But anywho, right now I'm in London recording, and I'm headed back to Lisbon. I had such a fun time in London. I feel like this is a city that I I liked the first time, but I loved the second time. It's just so, it's actually really chill compared to New York. And it's like the music scene is amazing. It's so British. Like everyone here is just so fucking British. It's like, it's just like the movies. So, anyways, that's what's going on with me. Come join us in Cocktails and Clothes, my community, if you want to be in a room with bad bitches. I still have the sale going on. Obviously, this episode, I have no idea when you're listening to it. But if you're listening to it today, as it comes out, we actually have 19 spots left instead of 25. So if you're like, fuck yeah, I want in at$77 a month for my first year and I want to be in a room with baddies, I want to get referrals. I mean, we're talking about referrals, we're talking about referrals throughout this whole episode. That's like cocktails and clothes is the place to be. If you really want to lean on your community for referrals, we have something called Hype Girl of the Week, where essentially I spin the wheel and whatever member it lands on, she becomes hype girl of the week. And we are all hyping her up. And there's 60 members in there. So imagine 60 women shouting your name on LinkedIn, on threads, on Instagram, sending your website to people. Imagine the power of that. Like it is referral city up in there. It's a really, really tight-knit group, really intimate space, and it's not like cringy and pitchy. So if you're like, uh yeah, that's kind of what I love. You can either sign up in the show notes and grab one of those spots, or also you can always talk to me on Instagram. I'm a big yapper and I would love to tell you about more about the community, but also hear about what you're looking for and to see if it's actually the right match. So hit me up on Instagram. My Instagram is at your girlmedia. But if you want to take advantage of one of those spots, we have 19 spots left at$77 a month for your first year. Otherwise, it goes up to$150. So your choice. Okay, guys, that's all I have to say. And as always, you're a bad bitch. I will see you next time.