Being Committed, What does that mean to YOU ?

Heyy Boo ! What does commitment mean to you ? I asked myself that and when I sayyyy the light bulb went off ! Make sure to really put you first  💁🏾‍♀️  

TikTok- itsjuslucyyyy:

https://www.tiktok.com/@itsjuslucyyyy?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey boo, and welcome back. Okay, we on episode 12. Hey y'all, what is going on? I hope everybody is having a good week. Like a good past weekend and everything. Cause I did not drop an episode last week. I was just, I was really chilling. I'm not gonna lie. I'm like, you know what, it's okay. Like, I've been I've been I've been writing down some stuff, but I was like, I'ma just chill. I'm gonna chill right now. And that's what I did. I damn sure chill in the bed. It just I had a I had a good weekend, a good past weekend. But no, I hope everybody is doing good, you know, just mentally, spiritually, emotionally, getting fed what you need and all of that. And if you're not listen, it's gonna be alright. Take the time you need, but make sure come up out that funk. It's it's gonna be alright. We gotta come up out of it for real. But y'all, I've been feeling good. I'm not gonna lie. Like, for real, I can't stay out the mirror. Like, I can't stay out of mirror. Like, I just been feeling so good. Like, I really haven't been stressing. That's what it is. Like, stress don't look good on me. It don't look good on me at all. At all. So I'm just like, you know what? I'm gonna do what I need to do, you know. I'm gonna make the best of it. Like, I've been learning how to make the best of my situations, and it's it's been working in my favor. I'm not gonna lie. Like, it really has. So I'm y'all be having so many come to Jesus moments, if you will. Just like, damn. It really is, it really do be that simple. It really do. But and also, too, I've been like reading my books. Just I've been reading, like reading, oh my god, that's like reading is making me happy as hell. Like what I'm reading is making me happy. Just being in, just being in my house reading. It that shit makes me so happy. Like, it makes me so happy. Oh my god. I need to go to a bookstore this weekend. Anyway, let me get up, let me get back on track. But yeah, the books I've been reading, uh, I'm just I'm so in love. I'm so in love. I really am. But no, I do want to talk about one book though. Because I went on TikTok because I thought, okay, you know, I finished the ones I had, I wanted some new ones, and a lot of people was recommending In the Gray by BB Reed. All I'm gonna say about that book is I won't ever listen to that again. I won't. I will not. When I honestly, don't get me wrong, I I could see where it was going. Like, I could it could have been a good story. The thing is, it could have been great, but for me, it was the huge age gap, and it was also the bomb that was dropped, and it was just weird, and weirder stuff started to happen. You know, I only finished the book because I had to see it through to make sure the weirdness wasn't on no real weird shit. If like I I don't want to give it away because I kind of want people to read it so we can really discuss it. This just wasn't my cup of tea. I'm gonna be honest with you. In the gray is something, again, that I won't be I won't be circling back. I won't be circling back to that. I would like to try another BB Reed book. Um, I I really hope it's not like in the gray because if that's the case, I won't be engaging. I won't be engaging in that. But my girl India Carter with the danger series. That girl nasty. I like that girl. That girl nasty, she nasty. But I love when I say, take me to the goddamn citrus grove, take me out there. But no, y'all, listen, if you ain't into reading, I'm telling you, that shit, like it put a big smile on my face. Like my heart, my heart is literally happy because I genuinely love reading. Like I've always loved reading. I just had to get back to it. Like, I really had to get back into that shit. Like, Lord, I love reading. Okay, let me stop. Let me chill, because I'm getting too excited. But tonight I'm gonna be talking about I'm be talking about commitment. Like, so this is just a question that I've literally like asked myself this week. So these are it's not like these are kind of like bullet points for me and my terms of coming to like what commitment is to me. Because I feel like commitment could be different to each person, and I'm learning what commitment is to me. And it's like I had to ask myself, do I have a problem committing, or am I just am I not being fulfilled? And it's I don't want to seem like I'm being like ungrateful, but it's a it's just a feeling, it's just a feeling, like being, I feel like in order for me to be committed to something, I have to be happy. Like it seems so simple, but it's that's a huge thing for me. Like, I have to genuinely be happy, I have to feel good about what I'm doing. Like, I don't want to do something and it's not making me feel good because it's gonna be hard for me to truly commit to it when I am having opposite feelings of it, if that makes sense. Like, I had to I had to really realize that. Like, and a lot of times, even when it comes to these jobs, I can't stay at places and be unhappy. Like, it makes it makes me uncomfortable. It's not about at that point, it's not about pushing through, it's not about seeing it through. It's like, bro, I feel like I'm damn near dying on the inside. Like, I I don't like feeling like that. I genuinely like feeling happy. So doing things that make me happy is what I'm gonna be committed to. And I again, a lot of this shit just really came with experience going through things. Like, I'm the type of person I realize now, and I said this before, I want to experience people, like I want to experience things. I just I just need to have experience and not crazy experience, like not doing things just for the fuck of it, but I really have to just be happy in what I'm doing in order to commit, basically. Because again, being like being so serious to the point where I'm like stressed out, I'm trying to control that doesn't make me feel good. Like it's so true. I have to do things that makes me feel good. Like, I can't just I can't be around people who don't make me feel good. I can't be, I don't want to be in places that don't make me feel good. Sometimes, you know, I can't, I'm not, I can't control it, but if I can remove myself, then that's what I'm gonna do. Like, that's what I'm gonna do. It's just it's being safe within my own skin, like listening to myself, like just going with the flow, like literally going with the flow. Like it's it has to, it has to, it has to align. It really does. Like it's really that simple. Like it really, it really has to align with how I'm feeling. Like we it has to be a connection. It really has to be a connection. And I feel like now I understand the whole, you know, some things are for a season, and you know, I I'm I truly understand that because of experience, and that's with jobs and with my relationship. Like, I truly understand things and how a lot of shit really is seasonal. Sometimes it's long term. I feel like you know, it's beautiful if when people make it to that point, you know, they grow together, they go, but for me personally, commitment is doing things that genuinely makes me happy, like nobody else, as long as I'm not affecting anybody else, like I have to make sure I am happy. Like, I have to take that is that's taking care of myself, like being committed to making sure that I am happy. I don't think I've I've never been in this place where I'm at now feeling so damn happy. And it's not to say that I didn't, I wasn't like I was always like down in the past, no, but it's it's such a different feeling now because I'm literally like doing doing what I want to do, but actually making sure that is it's going to benefit me. Like I don't have to worry about it benefiting anybody else. Like, and that's even if you are like in situations, it's really important to commit to yourself first. Because if not, like it's it's just it doesn't feel good to be unhappy. Like the bottom line, like it just it doesn't feel good to commit to something that you truly don't want to, like, even with me being at jobs that I don't like, I'm like, all right, I don't care for. So it's like, all right, I'm on to the next. Like, listen, that's just what it is. I've always been look, I'm on to the next. If I'm not getting fulfilled, if I'm not getting what I need, why would I stay? And I talked about this before, like, why why would I torture myself? Like, I'm not the type of person to want to do that. And now I've I really see that. Like, I really see that now. So it's like I can't, I can't commit to something that doesn't make me happy. And I just I really came to terms with that. Like, if it doesn't align with me, if it ain't flowing, like if it's and not saying it's gonna be all perfect, like that's the thing. Like, we all got challenges and stuff, but everything doesn't have to it everything don't have to be a fight. Like everything really don't have to be a fight. And I I just got tired of fighting, being stressed, being unhappy, like that shit is it is really it's really dark. Like it is really dark, and a lot of my dark days was just being committed to things that wasn't making me happy. That's just what it was. Like I wasn't I wasn't listening to myself. And now that I listen to myself, I really I really make sure I keep myself happy. Oh my god. It's sound it sounds so simple, but it's it's just scared. I'm listening love it on me. That's what it is. Like I'm really committed to me, and I just I've never been here, and it just it feels so good, like it really feels so good. Like when women really get to that point where they they in love with themselves, like I get it, I fucking get it. Like being vain, just being so I get it, I totally get it. Like I really like I genuinely make myself happy. Like, so it's like now if I do decide that I want to step back up, I know, like, oh, I know how I go because I know how I love me now. Like I can't let nobody play. I can't let nobody play. Like again, I'm too committed to myself to make myself unhappy again. So it's like now I'm learning how to just listen. Listen to me, like actually listen to me doing things again that just y'all, this shit is so simple. It's really, it's really simple, and that's that's why this podcast, this is gonna be short because it's just it's really that simple, y'all. I swear, because I don't want to keep repeating the same thing, but what I realize for me genuinely, what commitment is to me is what actually makes me happy, what I am dedicated to, like like me working out, me going out, me reading, me just doing little things for myself, that genuinely makes me happy. Like it's a it is a feeling, like I genuinely feel good. I don't think I could ever like I have never felt like how I feel now. Like I actually feel good. I know this should probably sound so crazy, but listen, if you understand, then you then you really understand, but being committed to myself over these past few months has been like the best thing that has happened to me. Like committing to my weight loss, committing to just doing what I need to do, like just actually showing up for myself, like knowing that I can do it. Oh, it's like oh, girl, I could just get on the fucking building and beat on my damn chest. Like, that's how it makes me feel. It's so just like, yeah, just finding my like finding, just finding self. Um, and I say I even said I was like, you know what, I'm really gonna date myself. And low-key, that's what I've been doing. Like, that's really what I've been doing. Like, y'all, my hair touched the top of my ass. When I say you can't tell me anything, you cannot tell me anything, bro. Like, I am 100% fully committed to myself, like I am fully committed to me. So, listen, all I'm gonna say is people gotta come correct. People gotta come correct, okay? Like, and that that should go for everybody. Everybody needs to make listen, come correct and with respect and love. That's it. That's it, because that's what that's what I'm giving myself. So I I accept I I expect that back. I do, I do have expectations, and that's one of them. Like, don't come over here with all the chaos. I don't I don't want it because that's not what I want in my life no more. Not even saying that was in it, but just I'm at a point where look, communication is important. Either we flowing or we not. It is it's really that it's really that simple. And it ain't even like again, I'm I'm here to experience. I ain't here to stress. Like, seriously. I'm here to experience, do things, and just live my damn life. That's it. That's really it. So I am I'm just I'm enjoying myself. I really am. Like I really I ain't again, yes, stuff come up. I be a little irritated, but learning how to just really not stress. And I'm listening before I wrap this up, don't be stressing, y'all. Don't be committing to stuff that don't make you happy. It's really, it's really that simple. Like if you gotta keep second guessing it, if you gotta keep the look, don't don't commit to things that do not make you happy. You should always want to make sure you out of all people can make yourself happy before anything else. And that's that's a true fact. Like, if you're not good, you really can't be good for others. I'm just really the shit be signing so cliche, but it really makes sense when you go through that type of experience. Like, you really have to be about you. You can't play about you, you gotta commit to yourself. Like, and in the past, I just wasn't committing to myself. I was just doing a lot of people pleasing, but now I don't that ain't even that ain't me. Like, I I can't even I can't even fake the funk like that no more. You know, I I love me too much. I love me, y'all. I love you, girl. I love me. But listen, like I say for real, make make sure y'all is really loving y'all self, okay? That is important, it ain't just some BS saying, you got to love yourself for real. You got to. It ain't it's it's a non-negotiable. It's a non-negotiable, you gotta love yourself, okay? It's important. It's important. Love yourself and love the people who love you because the people who love you, they they you know, they love themselves, just get in alignment. But y'all be safe this weekend, whatever y'all do, and just enjoy. Enjoy the weekend, enjoy the sun, whatever you add, and have a ball. And remember, love yourself. And I will be talking to y'all next week. Bye.