WEBVTT 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:01.040 But happy Sunday. 00:00:01.199 --> 00:00:02.240 Good to see y'all. 00:00:02.479 --> 00:00:04.480 My name is Deanna Carter. 00:00:04.639 --> 00:00:08.560 I am honored to be able to speak today, to share with you. 00:00:08.800 --> 00:00:13.199 I never take it lightly when Pastor Greg trusts me with this opportunity. 00:00:13.359 --> 00:00:15.039 So thanks for being here. 00:00:15.359 --> 00:00:21.359 Want to again welcome everyone who's here in the room, everyone joining online and in overflow. 00:00:21.440 --> 00:00:24.160 Thanks for worshiping with us today. 00:00:24.879 --> 00:00:37.920 So last year I had an opportunity to share, and I was saying how every time we have guest speakers, they always have these really cute family photos that you get to like gush over and like, oh, their family's so cute. 00:00:38.240 --> 00:00:42.640 I am the mom that's not good at scheduling family photos. 00:00:42.799 --> 00:00:44.880 They actually stressed me out, to be honest. 00:00:45.039 --> 00:00:45.840 I don't know why. 00:00:45.920 --> 00:00:47.759 I just don't want to be bothered with it. 00:00:48.000 --> 00:00:57.039 And so last year I had asked my husband and said, Well, can I share this like iPhone photo because it's our family and it's fun. 00:00:57.280 --> 00:00:59.200 And he told me that would be raggedy. 00:00:59.600 --> 00:01:02.240 And so I didn't share it. 00:01:02.799 --> 00:01:11.359 This year, I have not gotten any better with scheduling family photos, but I decided to just ask for forgiveness and not permission. 00:01:11.439 --> 00:01:17.280 So I have a raggedy family selfie that I'm gonna share anyway because it's my family. 00:01:17.519 --> 00:01:19.519 Thanks for refusing me. 00:01:21.040 --> 00:01:22.640 I appreciate that. 00:01:22.959 --> 00:01:27.519 So my husband Terrell obviously has the camera because that is his role in our family. 00:01:27.599 --> 00:01:29.200 He documents everything. 00:01:29.439 --> 00:01:32.400 You will never see any good photos that I took. 00:01:32.560 --> 00:01:38.640 If you see any good photos on my feed, it's usually because of him or maybe our daughter who took a better photo than me. 00:01:38.799 --> 00:01:40.000 So that's my husband. 00:01:40.079 --> 00:01:41.840 I call him the creative genius. 00:01:42.079 --> 00:01:45.840 He has taught me so much in so many different ways. 00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:48.319 He challenges me, he helps me grow. 00:01:48.560 --> 00:01:51.120 He is such a generous collaborator. 00:01:51.439 --> 00:01:53.280 He has the best ideas. 00:01:53.359 --> 00:02:00.000 And so everything that we do together is made so much better because his perspective is always different from mine. 00:02:00.159 --> 00:02:06.159 So I truly believe that God just put us together for a reason and to make an impact. 00:02:06.239 --> 00:02:07.519 And I couldn't do it by myself. 00:02:07.680 --> 00:02:09.120 So that's my partner. 00:02:09.439 --> 00:02:16.719 Um, and then I have Autumn peeking through the back there, hands under her chin because she is that. 00:02:17.039 --> 00:02:22.639 She is a character, she is a little bit of a diva in the best way. 00:02:23.039 --> 00:02:25.120 Um, she is my empath. 00:02:25.280 --> 00:02:32.319 She has taught me a lot about what it looks like to really be compassionate, to sit with people in their feelings. 00:02:32.479 --> 00:02:37.840 I'm still learning a lot in that area, but she is teaching me that every single day. 00:02:38.000 --> 00:02:41.199 Uh, and then we have Phoenix right there up front. 00:02:41.520 --> 00:02:45.439 Phoenix, honestly, is kind of like me and doesn't always like taking photos. 00:02:45.520 --> 00:02:49.680 So the fact that he's smiling in this picture is like the biggest win for us. 00:02:49.919 --> 00:02:54.000 Uh, Phoenix is the child who I think has humbled me a lot. 00:02:54.159 --> 00:03:01.599 Um, I don't know how many other parents would agree with this, but I was such a good parent before I had kids. 00:03:03.120 --> 00:03:08.479 And so having kids really put into question all the things that I thought I knew. 00:03:08.639 --> 00:03:11.360 Uh Phoenix is, he has some characteristics of mine. 00:03:11.439 --> 00:03:14.879 He also is a lot like his dad, and he's so different from me. 00:03:15.039 --> 00:03:19.199 And so he has taught me a lot about humility. 00:03:19.599 --> 00:03:23.360 He's taught me a lot about grace under pressure. 00:03:23.680 --> 00:03:27.680 Case in point, has anyone ever lost their kid before? 00:03:28.719 --> 00:03:30.560 Some of y'all are like, how many times? 00:03:30.719 --> 00:03:34.080 Because at this point for me, it's probably like once a quarter. 00:03:34.400 --> 00:03:41.680 But I remember the first time that I lost Phoenix, and it was a brand new experience because I'd never lost Autumn before. 00:03:41.919 --> 00:03:46.080 So this was probably maybe like four or five-ish years ago. 00:03:46.159 --> 00:03:47.280 They were pretty young. 00:03:47.520 --> 00:03:49.919 And I decided to try to be the fun parent. 00:03:50.159 --> 00:03:51.199 Not usually my role. 00:03:51.280 --> 00:03:54.479 I make sure that, you know, teeth are brushed, beds are made, that kind of thing. 00:03:54.639 --> 00:03:56.560 But I was like, you know, we're gonna have a great day. 00:03:56.719 --> 00:03:59.199 Let's go get lunch, we're gonna go play some games. 00:03:59.360 --> 00:04:02.719 We went to this place called Rule 3 out in Pickerington. 00:04:02.960 --> 00:04:10.639 And so we were finishing up lunch, and I had them step out of the booth because you know, you're a young mom, you have all the things. 00:04:10.719 --> 00:04:13.039 So I had to gather up all our stuff in the bag. 00:04:13.280 --> 00:04:19.839 And so once I finished gathering all of our things up, I turned around, I don't see Phoenix. 00:04:20.160 --> 00:04:25.279 And so, of course, I ask my daughter, who is maybe four or five, have you seen your brother? 00:04:25.360 --> 00:04:26.639 Do you know where he is? 00:04:26.959 --> 00:04:28.639 Nope, no idea. 00:04:28.879 --> 00:04:34.480 So I'm like, it's fine, this place isn't that big, we'll just take a lap around, we'll find him. 00:04:34.720 --> 00:04:36.160 He probably didn't want to wait. 00:04:36.240 --> 00:04:37.279 It tracks. 00:04:37.519 --> 00:04:48.319 So we walk around, we uh look where the games are, we peek into like the party room, we get back to the booth, and still no Phoenix. 00:04:48.800 --> 00:04:51.519 So I was like, clearly, we just didn't look well enough. 00:04:51.600 --> 00:04:53.680 Because again, it's like a Tuesday morning. 00:04:53.920 --> 00:04:56.480 No one's here, it's not that big of a space. 00:04:56.720 --> 00:05:03.360 So we take another lap, I like peek into the men's restroom, calling his name, trying not to look like a creeper. 00:05:03.519 --> 00:05:07.199 Um, I walk around, we're looking under tables, things like that. 00:05:07.360 --> 00:05:10.800 We get back to the booth, like maybe he came back to the booth. 00:05:11.199 --> 00:05:12.800 He's still not there. 00:05:13.439 --> 00:05:18.480 And so Autumn is starting to visibly stress out. 00:05:18.720 --> 00:05:22.639 And she's like, Mom, what if we never find him? 00:05:22.879 --> 00:05:24.319 And where is he at? 00:05:24.480 --> 00:05:25.360 Is he okay? 00:05:25.519 --> 00:05:28.319 And I'm trying to be calm, like, it's okay, calm down. 00:05:28.639 --> 00:05:31.120 Internally, I feel the way Autumn looks. 00:05:31.360 --> 00:05:33.279 I am stressed in my head. 00:05:33.360 --> 00:05:38.160 There's a white van driving away with my kid, and I'm never gonna see him again. 00:05:38.319 --> 00:05:42.959 So we go to the nearest employee, and I'm trying to be like calm and collected. 00:05:43.120 --> 00:05:46.639 And so I say, excuse me, sir, can't find my son. 00:05:46.800 --> 00:05:48.560 Can you help me find him? 00:05:48.959 --> 00:05:55.600 And not even paying attention to what he's doing at the time, he holds up a finger, like, I'm taking this order. 00:05:56.800 --> 00:06:04.560 Sir, I don't care if this person wants chicken or cheeseburger, my kid is missing, so I would appreciate your help finding him. 00:06:04.800 --> 00:06:05.120 No? 00:06:05.360 --> 00:06:05.920 Okay, fine. 00:06:06.079 --> 00:06:08.480 So now I'm walking around calling Phoenix's name. 00:06:08.560 --> 00:06:10.879 I don't care whose fun I'm interrupting at this point. 00:06:10.959 --> 00:06:13.600 All y'all are gonna know my kid's missing and I'm looking for him. 00:06:13.759 --> 00:06:18.240 I walk out of the building, I'm calling his name in the street. 00:06:18.800 --> 00:06:19.759 Looking crazy. 00:06:19.839 --> 00:06:21.759 I think I'm getting upset all over again. 00:06:22.000 --> 00:06:28.800 Um, I come back inside, we're walking the perimeter again, calling Phoenix, Phoenix. 00:06:28.959 --> 00:06:32.240 We get to the booth, and I'm calling his name. 00:06:32.399 --> 00:06:36.800 This is the third time around, and I hear a giggle. 00:06:39.199 --> 00:06:56.000 Y'all, there is this random, like obscure, out-of-order photo booth near the booth where we were sitting, and I rip back this curtain, and Phoenix is sitting on the floor, smiling up at me. 00:06:56.800 --> 00:07:00.720 And I think I was relieved for like two seconds before I was livid. 00:07:00.879 --> 00:07:02.639 I was like, clenched teeth. 00:07:02.800 --> 00:07:04.800 Did you hear me calling your name, sir? 00:07:05.360 --> 00:07:06.720 Why didn't you answer? 00:07:06.959 --> 00:07:09.519 He was like, I was hiding. 00:07:10.560 --> 00:07:12.480 Needless to say, the day was done. 00:07:12.560 --> 00:07:13.839 We didn't play any games. 00:07:14.000 --> 00:07:15.360 I was completely through. 00:07:15.519 --> 00:07:18.240 I'm too stressed, my heart hurts, my stomach is sick. 00:07:18.399 --> 00:07:24.959 I'm gathering all of our things up, and I turn around and I see Autumn's face. 00:07:25.600 --> 00:07:28.240 And Autumn has not recovered. 00:07:28.959 --> 00:07:31.680 There are tears in her eyes. 00:07:31.920 --> 00:07:34.319 There is the stress on her face. 00:07:34.480 --> 00:07:37.519 I can see the wheels still turning in her head around. 00:07:37.759 --> 00:07:39.600 Am I gonna see my brother again? 00:07:39.759 --> 00:07:40.639 Is he okay? 00:07:40.800 --> 00:07:41.920 Is something wrong? 00:07:42.079 --> 00:07:46.079 And I had to pause to bring comfort to her. 00:07:46.959 --> 00:07:55.360 And what I thought about in looking back is one, that is probably the most memorable part for me was seeing how much this impacted her. 00:07:55.600 --> 00:08:00.480 Because when you tell the story, of course, you want to ask the parent, how did you feel? 00:08:00.639 --> 00:08:02.319 What was going through your head? 00:08:02.560 --> 00:08:07.920 Or maybe you want to ask Phoenix, why in the world didn't you respond when your mom was calling your name? 00:08:08.079 --> 00:08:13.600 But it may not have crossed your mind to say, Autumn, you were there. 00:08:14.160 --> 00:08:16.399 How did this impact you? 00:08:17.759 --> 00:08:28.399 And so last week, Pastor Greg started talking about this story of the prodigal son, and he talked about the context that this story was given in. 00:08:28.639 --> 00:08:36.159 The fact that Jesus was telling this parable to a crowd full of tax collectors and other sinners and Pharisees. 00:08:38.000 --> 00:08:40.799 How the uh, sorry, I'm going in and out. 00:08:40.879 --> 00:08:41.360 We good. 00:08:41.519 --> 00:08:54.399 He's unpacking how the father gave his son this inheritance, and how he squanders it, comes back, and is met with all of this grace, which is amazing. 00:08:54.960 --> 00:09:01.200 But we never really stop to talk about the other brother who was left behind. 00:09:01.919 --> 00:09:10.799 And if we do talk about him, a lot of times it's just to say he was this bitter, self-righteous older brother, and then we kind of cast him to the side and we keep it pushing. 00:09:11.519 --> 00:09:18.960 But today I want to dissect this character just a little bit more because there's a reason that Jesus included him in his story. 00:09:19.279 --> 00:09:27.759 There was something that he wanted to communicate to the audience both then in front of him and today as we read through this scripture. 00:09:28.320 --> 00:09:32.080 So we're gonna kick off in Luke chapter 15. 00:09:33.200 --> 00:09:38.000 But before we read, I do want to say a word of prayer together. 00:09:38.960 --> 00:09:44.559 So, dear God, we come before you right now, and first we just pause to say thank you. 00:09:45.200 --> 00:09:46.799 We thank you for your presence. 00:09:46.960 --> 00:09:48.720 We thank you for your power, God. 00:09:48.799 --> 00:09:55.679 We thank you that your word is alive and it's powerful and it's active and it's moving, Lord. 00:09:56.639 --> 00:10:00.960 God, we invite you into this space today to have your way. 00:10:01.039 --> 00:10:08.799 I ask that your word would go forth with clarity and that it would fall on good ground in our hearts, Lord Jesus. 00:10:08.960 --> 00:10:17.600 That it will reap an abundant harvest, that your truth would not just come through our ears, God, but that it will transform the way that we live. 00:10:18.240 --> 00:10:27.840 I pray for every person under the sound of my voice that they will hear you so clearly, Holy Spirit, and that they will respond to what it is you are saying to them. 00:10:28.080 --> 00:10:30.399 We ask all of this in Jesus' name. 00:10:30.720 --> 00:10:31.360 Amen. 00:10:32.720 --> 00:10:41.840 So we're gonna read in Luke chapter 15, we're gonna read verses 25 through 31, picking up where Pastor Greg left off last week. 00:10:42.879 --> 00:10:48.720 And it starts out meanwhile, the older son was in the fields working. 00:10:48.960 --> 00:10:55.679 When he returned home, he heard music and dancing in the house, and he asked one of the servants what was going on. 00:10:56.080 --> 00:11:01.120 Your brother is back, he was told, and your father has killed the fattened calf. 00:11:01.360 --> 00:11:04.159 We're celebrating because of his safe return. 00:11:04.559 --> 00:11:07.759 The older brother was angry and wouldn't go in. 00:11:08.080 --> 00:11:17.279 His father came out and begged him, but he replied, All these years I've slayed for you and never once refused to do a single thing you told me to. 00:11:17.519 --> 00:11:23.120 And in all that time you never gave me even one young goat for a feast with my friends. 00:11:23.360 --> 00:11:31.519 Yet when this son of yours comes back after squandering your money on prostitutes, you celebrate by killing the fattened calf. 00:11:31.759 --> 00:11:39.759 His father said to him, Look, dear son, you have always stayed by me, and everything I have is yours. 00:11:41.200 --> 00:11:48.960 When we first encounter the older brother, he's coming back from the fields, which I imagine has been a long, hot, grueling day. 00:11:49.120 --> 00:11:52.159 No one's ever worked in the fields and come back just full of energy. 00:11:52.320 --> 00:11:54.720 So I imagine he's probably tired. 00:11:55.200 --> 00:12:02.240 And the introvert in me, if I put myself in his shoes, if I'm tired after a long day, I want to come home and I want to sit in silence. 00:12:02.320 --> 00:12:03.679 I don't want to have a conversation. 00:12:03.840 --> 00:12:06.320 I sure don't want to hear music. 00:12:06.879 --> 00:12:13.440 And so as he gets closer to his house, he hears this music playing, he asks the nearest servant what's going on. 00:12:13.759 --> 00:12:22.159 And they explain to him his brother's come home, there's this big celebration, and immediately we see he becomes angry. 00:12:23.279 --> 00:12:34.240 Now it's easy to jump on him, to call him a hater, to dismiss his emotions as why wouldn't you be happy your brother's home? 00:12:34.480 --> 00:12:39.440 But if we step into his shoes a little bit, I think we can empathize with him a bit more. 00:12:40.080 --> 00:12:42.879 Because one, he's coming home from the fields. 00:12:43.200 --> 00:12:50.879 So maybe after he hears his brother is home, there's this thought in his mind of my brother should have been in the fields working with me. 00:12:51.360 --> 00:13:00.399 I've been out here doing all of this work by myself, back breaking labor, and I should have had my brother here to help me. 00:13:01.279 --> 00:13:06.080 Or maybe he's thinking about what this has done to his family. 00:13:06.399 --> 00:13:16.559 Last week, Pastor Greg talked about this culture of shame and honor and how much shame and dishonor his brother's departure brought on their family. 00:13:17.200 --> 00:13:25.360 He could be thinking about all those times he saw his dad grieving, upset, heartbreaking, wondering, where is my son? 00:13:25.519 --> 00:13:27.600 Will he ever come home again? 00:13:28.480 --> 00:13:36.159 Or maybe he was like Autumn and he had his own internal emotions that he was dealing with around his brother's absence. 00:13:36.480 --> 00:13:38.080 Will I see my brother again? 00:13:38.240 --> 00:13:39.519 Is he okay? 00:13:40.399 --> 00:13:48.799 And I think when we pause to consider his perspective, we're able to better understand his initial reaction of anger. 00:13:49.519 --> 00:13:53.759 Because he's not the one who left and who squandered everything. 00:13:53.919 --> 00:13:56.960 He was not wowing out, he was obedient. 00:13:57.200 --> 00:14:00.000 He was where he was supposed to be. 00:14:01.120 --> 00:14:09.840 But what he illustrates to us is that just because you are close physically does not mean that you are close relationally. 00:14:11.200 --> 00:14:18.559 I came across this article in Psychology Today, and it was talking about the rise of gray divorce. 00:14:18.799 --> 00:14:25.519 And essentially, this is a term that's given to couples 50 and older who are getting divorced. 00:14:25.679 --> 00:14:32.080 And the article was talking about how the numbers have continued to escalate in about I think 2010, it was about 6%. 00:14:32.960 --> 00:14:37.279 In 2020, it became 14%, it continues to climb. 00:14:37.360 --> 00:14:43.919 And this article is talking about why is this a thing, especially when a lot of these couples have been together for so many years. 00:14:44.159 --> 00:14:51.120 They've raised children together, they've built their careers together, they've gone through the storms of life together. 00:14:51.519 --> 00:15:04.720 But what it unpacks is that a lot of them have gotten to a point where they realized we have been living under the same roof, but our hearts have been emotionally disconnected for a very long time. 00:15:05.679 --> 00:15:15.200 And so, regardless of the longevity that we have in this marriage, I'm to the point where I don't even want to pretend anymore, I don't want to try anymore, I'm just done. 00:15:16.080 --> 00:15:22.639 And I think we see a similar rhetoric with the older brother in that he was physically with his father. 00:15:22.799 --> 00:15:24.799 He never left the house. 00:15:25.519 --> 00:15:30.960 But he hadn't taken time to cultivate a true relationship with his father. 00:15:31.600 --> 00:15:34.320 He had been busy working in the fields. 00:15:34.480 --> 00:15:41.279 As he said, he's been slaving away for his dad, but there was no intimacy there. 00:15:42.399 --> 00:15:51.279 Because just because you're close in proximity does not mean that you automatically have intimacy. 00:15:52.639 --> 00:16:01.360 And what he demonstrates to us is this idea that we can confuse activity with intimacy. 00:16:02.799 --> 00:16:12.879 I had a conversation with a friend a while ago, and she goes to one church and she was talking about how much she loves our church, which of course we all do. 00:16:13.200 --> 00:16:20.559 And she was saying that she's here all the time, she serves everywhere, and I see her all over the place. 00:16:20.799 --> 00:16:25.360 This is where her people are, she's developed really good relationships here. 00:16:25.919 --> 00:16:30.799 But she was saying that she felt really disconnected from God. 00:16:31.919 --> 00:16:44.559 And so the more that we talk, the more we unpacked that although she had been present in God's house, she'd been absent from his presence. 00:16:46.000 --> 00:17:00.480 The only time that she really looked into scripture was when she might scroll through her Bible app as Pastor Greg was on stage preaching on a Sunday, but she never really cracked open her Bible throughout the week to see what God wanted to say to her. 00:17:01.440 --> 00:17:10.000 Her only time in prayer were those couple minutes in the huddle before she would go out and serve, but her relationship with God was stagnant. 00:17:10.079 --> 00:17:13.680 She wasn't praying or talking to him throughout the week. 00:17:14.400 --> 00:17:21.680 She had been so busy working for God that she hadn't paused long enough to actually walk with God. 00:17:23.039 --> 00:17:27.599 There's a scripture in Psalms, and it's so simple, but it hits home. 00:17:27.839 --> 00:17:30.640 And it's Psalm 103, verse 7. 00:17:31.359 --> 00:17:39.200 And it simply says, He revealed his character to Moses and his deeds to the people of Israel. 00:17:40.079 --> 00:17:45.839 This word revealed or made known translates to in the Greek to this word Yada. 00:17:46.880 --> 00:17:49.680 And this word is used throughout scripture. 00:17:49.920 --> 00:17:58.079 Specifically, it speaks to the relationship between a husband and a wife when they know each other intimately. 00:17:58.559 --> 00:18:06.960 Not just we are physically in proximity, but we know each other emotionally, mentally, psychologically. 00:18:07.920 --> 00:18:13.519 And so what the scripture speaks to is the fact that the people of Israel saw the works that God did. 00:18:13.680 --> 00:18:17.599 They saw the plagues that he rained down on Egypt. 00:18:18.079 --> 00:18:20.079 They saw him part the Red Sea. 00:18:20.160 --> 00:18:24.240 They saw the pillar of fire that led them in the wilderness. 00:18:24.480 --> 00:18:34.000 They saw even how their obedience in spreading the blood over the doorpost caused this death angel to pass over. 00:18:35.200 --> 00:18:38.799 But Moses wasn't content to just see what God did. 00:18:38.880 --> 00:18:41.920 He wanted to know the heart behind the hand. 00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:51.200 And so this even this passage in Psalms goes on to talk about the fact that Moses learned God was a God of compassion. 00:18:51.519 --> 00:19:00.480 He learned that he's faithful from generation to generation, that as far as the East is from the West, that's how far he removed people's sins from them. 00:19:00.640 --> 00:19:08.079 It wasn't just about, I want to see the miracles that you're doing, I want to understand the heart behind these miracles. 00:19:09.200 --> 00:19:12.079 But this is what the older brother missed. 00:19:13.200 --> 00:19:15.440 He saw himself as a servant. 00:19:15.599 --> 00:19:20.640 And so, because of that, he hadn't taken time to understand his father's heart. 00:19:21.279 --> 00:19:27.359 And since he didn't understand his heart, he couldn't understand the context to his father's actions. 00:19:28.319 --> 00:19:38.000 All he saw was his father pouring out this lavish love on his brother who did not deserve it in his eyes. 00:19:39.039 --> 00:19:48.400 And because again, of this culture of shame and honor, he felt dishonor because why in the world would you give my brother something he has not earned? 00:19:48.480 --> 00:19:51.279 And you've never even given me a young goat. 00:19:51.680 --> 00:19:57.839 You've never given me this opportunity to go off with my friends with the gifts that you've given my brother. 00:19:58.640 --> 00:20:01.119 So why in the world would I celebrate? 00:20:01.279 --> 00:20:07.680 Why would I go into this party because I'm upset that I haven't received what I feel like I've earned. 00:20:09.759 --> 00:20:18.400 And as Jesus was putting this story together, because I think sometimes we have to just continually remind ourselves this is a story that Jesus created. 00:20:18.559 --> 00:20:20.480 This did not actually happen. 00:20:20.799 --> 00:20:23.200 But he was trying to communicate something. 00:20:23.359 --> 00:20:26.720 And I can imagine the Pharisees in the crowd. 00:20:27.359 --> 00:20:40.079 I can imagine the anger and the frustration and the consternation as they're thinking, everything that this father did goes against what we've known, what we've believed, what we've learned. 00:20:40.880 --> 00:20:49.119 Because as a Pharisee, they had spent years studying the Torah and not just studying it, memorizing it, memorizing books. 00:20:49.200 --> 00:20:57.039 Some of us can't even fathom memorizing a few scriptures, but like a whole book on book on book in the Torah, they had internalized this. 00:20:57.519 --> 00:21:03.759 They had been discipled by rabbis who taught them how to think, how to speak, how to act. 00:21:03.920 --> 00:21:06.799 And they had learned obedience. 00:21:07.200 --> 00:21:15.200 They had learned to value rules over relationship and to measure their worth by their performance. 00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:21.119 And everything this father did went against what they had learned. 00:21:22.079 --> 00:21:36.480 So when they see this father give a robe and a ring to a guy who broke all the rules, this felt threatening because it challenged their entire value system. 00:21:37.759 --> 00:21:44.799 Because if grace is that free, then what am I supposed to do with all of this striving? 00:21:46.160 --> 00:21:57.119 I've worked so hard to earn so many things, and yet it's just being freely given to my brother who has not earned this. 00:21:59.039 --> 00:22:04.160 I think a Lot of us used to think that this story was only about the younger son. 00:22:04.319 --> 00:22:05.680 I know that I did. 00:22:06.559 --> 00:22:12.160 And the thing is, if you don't connect with the younger son, then it's easier to see him as this other. 00:22:12.960 --> 00:22:14.960 He's the one who was wilding out. 00:22:15.039 --> 00:22:17.920 Thank God for his amazing grace that brought him back in. 00:22:18.160 --> 00:22:25.200 He's the one that is over there who has this grace that I didn't need because I follow all the rules. 00:22:26.160 --> 00:22:32.319 But the more that I studied and unpacked this, the more I realized that I was actually the other brother. 00:22:33.440 --> 00:22:38.240 I gave myself to or my life to Christ at a very young age, very young age. 00:22:38.319 --> 00:22:41.359 And it was real to me from early on. 00:22:54.799 --> 00:23:02.559 And so my inclination to obey leaned into this legalism just like a Pharisee. 00:23:03.839 --> 00:23:10.559 And ironically enough, it was my legalism that my peer group actually celebrated. 00:23:11.440 --> 00:23:14.400 Because it was like, look at Deanna, she doesn't do this. 00:23:14.559 --> 00:23:16.480 Or look at Deanna, she does that. 00:23:16.720 --> 00:23:19.359 But when you're looking at Deanna, you're not looking at Jesus. 00:23:19.440 --> 00:23:24.400 And Deanna is not the pinnacle for what it looks like to have a relationship with Christ. 00:23:25.440 --> 00:23:35.039 And so because of that, I felt like I needed to perform because I'd been put on this pedestal, so I need to be able to maintain my place on this pedestal. 00:23:37.200 --> 00:23:59.279 So every time I fell, every time I messed up, every time I didn't read my Bible and felt like God was mad at me, every time I used my tongue when I shouldn't have, it was immediate shame and condemnation because it was all about me and how I could maintain, how I could connect to God with my own words. 00:23:59.839 --> 00:24:01.759 When it was never about that. 00:24:03.359 --> 00:24:09.279 And to be honest, it's not even that there is an issue with obedience. 00:24:09.839 --> 00:24:15.599 Because Jesus actually said in John that if you love me, you'll obey my commands. 00:24:16.480 --> 00:24:23.920 But the real issue is when we flip it and we think it's if you obey me, then you'll earn my love. 00:24:24.960 --> 00:24:28.319 And that's never what Jesus called us to. 00:24:29.599 --> 00:24:38.480 And so what I had to learn is that grace is not meant to be a reward or a prize for being good. 00:24:39.599 --> 00:24:44.240 Instead, it's a gift, knowing that you can never be good enough. 00:24:46.240 --> 00:24:54.960 So Jesus had to humble me in that to say, you can keep trying, you can keep striving, but your striving is not what has earned my grace. 00:24:55.200 --> 00:25:02.799 My grace was only meant for you to be or for you to embrace, not for you to work day after day trying to earn it. 00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:07.359 The father told the son that you're always with me. 00:25:07.519 --> 00:25:09.200 Everything I have is yours. 00:25:09.359 --> 00:25:22.079 What the son didn't realize is that the same way his father went out to meet the lawless is the same way he came out to meet the legalistic. 00:25:31.039 --> 00:25:42.640 But he was also willing to humble himself and come out to his older son and to say, although you haven't even considered me to be your father, you're referring to yourself like you're my servant. 00:25:42.880 --> 00:25:52.240 I'm saying, dear son, you've always been with me, so everything that I have has always been yours. 00:25:54.720 --> 00:25:58.000 Jesus leaves this story with a cliffhanger. 00:25:59.200 --> 00:26:03.599 And if you're a reader like me, I don't like cliffhangers. 00:26:04.319 --> 00:26:06.240 I want to know what happened. 00:26:06.319 --> 00:26:13.200 Even if I don't necessarily like the ending, I need the resolution of an ending to say, like, the end. 00:26:13.359 --> 00:26:15.279 Put a ball on it, be done. 00:26:16.160 --> 00:26:18.559 But Jesus is so much smarter than me. 00:26:19.519 --> 00:26:24.319 Because I think the cliffhanger is necessary for a few reasons. 00:26:25.519 --> 00:26:28.319 One, it makes us look inward. 00:26:29.680 --> 00:26:37.680 It makes us truly consider who we are in this story, and to choose what are we going to do with it. 00:26:39.119 --> 00:26:46.160 It also gives us an opportunity to see ourselves in light of who God has placed as these characters in the story. 00:26:46.640 --> 00:26:50.000 The father, the son, the older son, the younger son. 00:26:51.119 --> 00:26:53.920 And we don't know what happened with these brothers. 00:26:54.079 --> 00:27:00.400 We don't know if the older brother decided, okay, I'm gonna go into the party. 00:27:00.480 --> 00:27:03.920 I'm gonna let go of my striving and I'm gonna go in. 00:27:04.960 --> 00:27:13.759 Or if he decided to stand outside with his arms still crossed because he's decided, no, I need to keep striving. 00:27:13.920 --> 00:27:17.119 This is what I've always known, and I refuse to give it up. 00:27:18.720 --> 00:27:31.839 Or maybe he could have even forgiven his father and and let go of the bitterness in his heart, but perhaps he was still dealing with the anger that he had towards his brother. 00:27:32.559 --> 00:27:41.759 Because he still felt like it was unfair that everything that you caused has impacted me, has impacted my family, and I refuse to let that go. 00:27:42.960 --> 00:27:45.200 Because isn't that what we do sometimes? 00:27:46.400 --> 00:27:54.319 We look at the grace that God has given to the person next to us who hasn't done as much as us, who hasn't been as good as good as we have. 00:27:55.039 --> 00:28:01.440 And how dare God give them grace when I'm the one who deserves it? 00:28:02.240 --> 00:28:05.279 Because I have worked to earn it. 00:28:07.039 --> 00:28:11.680 At the same time, we don't even know what happened with the younger brother. 00:28:12.400 --> 00:28:23.440 His father came out and gave him a robe and a ring, and maybe he was so caught up in the things once again, because if you remember previously, it was father, I want my inheritance. 00:28:23.599 --> 00:28:28.400 Now he's come home after squandering his inheritance, and his father gives him a robe and a ring. 00:28:28.720 --> 00:28:30.799 That could have been his focus. 00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:44.799 Or maybe he saw his father's grace that was so freely given, and he decided it's okay if I run away again, because his grace will still be there for me. 00:28:46.160 --> 00:28:51.359 Which, when you say out loud, it sounds insane, but it's what we do sometimes too. 00:28:52.160 --> 00:28:58.880 We know that God's grace is there, so we continue in sin, thinking that it's fine, his grace will just cover us. 00:28:59.440 --> 00:29:09.119 Even though Romans tells us that his grace is not a path for sin, but his grace should remind us of what we've been saved from. 00:29:10.720 --> 00:29:20.880 Or maybe he took a page out of his brother's playbook and decided, I've been given this grace, so now I need to strive to show that I'm worthy of it. 00:29:22.480 --> 00:29:37.440 The hope is that he looked to his father and decided, actually, I'm going to develop this intimate relationship with you that you've always longed to have with me. 00:29:40.079 --> 00:29:56.880 And I think God wants us to consider maybe we're on the one end of the spectrum where we are like the younger brother and we've run away and we've been covered in shame and we're running back to the father, or maybe we're the older brother who has followed all the rules. 00:29:57.039 --> 00:30:05.759 We are in church all the time, we're here every time the door is open, we're we're closed in the building, but we're not physically or emotionally connected to God. 00:30:05.920 --> 00:30:11.440 Regardless of whichever spectrum you're on, the question that's presented remains the same. 00:30:11.519 --> 00:30:16.240 And it's what will I do with the Father's grace? 00:30:18.319 --> 00:30:21.440 It's a decision for each one of us to make. 00:30:21.759 --> 00:30:25.119 And it's a decision that we have to make day after day after day. 00:30:25.200 --> 00:30:26.720 It's not a one-time decision. 00:30:26.960 --> 00:30:32.720 His grace continues, but it's up to us every day to determine what we are going to do with it. 00:30:33.440 --> 00:30:37.440 Are we gonna come close and be intimate with him? 00:30:38.880 --> 00:30:43.920 Are we going to lay down our shame and our striving? 00:30:45.599 --> 00:30:50.640 Are we going to stop running and also stop performing? 00:30:52.960 --> 00:30:55.279 That's the question that God is asking. 00:30:55.519 --> 00:30:58.079 What will you do with this grace? 00:30:59.920 --> 00:31:04.880 I want us to sit with this for a moment as the music plays. 00:31:05.039 --> 00:31:09.519 I want us to take a moment to really allow the Holy Spirit to speak to us. 00:31:10.319 --> 00:31:17.519 No singing, just melody in the background, but opening our hearts and our ears to hear, God, what is it that you're saying to me? 00:31:17.680 --> 00:31:19.519 Which brother am I connecting with? 00:31:19.680 --> 00:31:22.079 And what are you calling me to do? 00:31:22.319 --> 00:31:26.400 How are you calling me to receive this grace and to walk in it? 00:31:26.720 --> 00:31:28.079 Let's take a moment. 00:32:29.200 --> 00:32:32.400 And maybe God is speaking to you in this moment. 00:32:36.240 --> 00:32:48.799 And he's saying, I see your shame, but I want you to know that I'm the one who shouldered it, and I've given you my grace instead. 00:32:51.279 --> 00:32:58.240 Or maybe he's saying, I see how hard you're striving to earn my love, but I already gave you my love. 00:32:59.440 --> 00:33:06.880 There's nothing more that you have to do except embrace it and allow it to guide you in the way that you live. 00:33:09.440 --> 00:33:17.519 We see the obvious tragedy in this story of the younger son running away from the father. 00:33:18.720 --> 00:33:27.599 But there's another tragedy, and that's in being right near the father, but not knowing him. 00:33:30.880 --> 00:33:33.759 Jesus is extending grace today. 00:33:34.880 --> 00:33:41.119 The father has come out and he has no conditions, he has no rules, he has no steps. 00:33:41.200 --> 00:33:44.160 He's not saying you need to do all of these things first. 00:33:44.319 --> 00:33:46.240 He's saying, I did the work. 00:33:47.119 --> 00:33:50.559 I want you to accept it and embrace it. 00:33:51.279 --> 00:33:55.839 Obey me because you love me, not because you're trying to earn my love. 00:33:57.279 --> 00:33:58.640 Let's pray. 00:34:03.279 --> 00:34:05.359 Holy God, I thank you. 00:34:07.759 --> 00:34:10.639 I thank you that you're speaking even now. 00:34:13.519 --> 00:34:23.199 That the same grace Jesus illustrated in this story is the grace that has already been given to each of us, God. 00:34:24.079 --> 00:34:30.239 And today you're inviting us to accept it, to embrace it, to walk in it. 00:34:31.360 --> 00:34:40.320 It's not about performance, it's not about regulations, it's about your love, your unending, unfailing, undeserved love. 00:34:42.559 --> 00:34:51.920 God, I pray for every person who the enemy has tried to wrap in the bondage of performance, who has tried to weigh down with shackles of shame. 00:34:52.159 --> 00:34:57.440 God, I ask that you would break that free right now in the name of Jesus. 00:34:58.559 --> 00:35:06.000 That you would give them the courage to step forward, to make the decision that I am no longer going to do this of my own. 00:35:06.239 --> 00:35:09.440 I'm done running away, but I'm also done performing. 00:35:09.599 --> 00:35:13.599 And humbly I receive what you've already offered me, Father. 00:35:14.880 --> 00:35:21.599 I thank you, Lord, that your grace doesn't run out, it doesn't fail, Lord God, but it's always there for the taking. 00:35:21.760 --> 00:35:24.400 And today we choose to take it. 00:35:25.199 --> 00:35:27.840 We pray all of this in Jesus' name. 00:35:28.159 --> 00:35:28.800 Amen.