WEBVTT 00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:06.320 We're in a series called Love Is, and uh we're we're basically looking at 1 Corinthians 13. 00:00:06.400 --> 00:00:24.239 We kicked it off last week, uh, talking about the fact that although 1 Corinthians 13 is almost always read at like weddings, and we think of it in the sense of marriage or romance or whatever, 1 Corinthians 13 was not written to marriages, although it's applicable to marriages. 00:00:24.320 --> 00:00:26.960 It's not written to marriages, it was actually written to a church. 00:00:27.120 --> 00:00:29.519 It was written to a group of people that were divided. 00:00:29.679 --> 00:00:34.960 In fact, they were about to lose, completely lose their unity and cancel each other and go separate ways. 00:00:35.119 --> 00:00:42.240 And Paul writes them a letter and basically uh explains what's most important and uh talks about love. 00:00:42.320 --> 00:00:43.439 So let's just jump in. 00:00:43.679 --> 00:00:54.880 1 Corinthians 13, starting in verse 1, Paul says, if I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 00:00:55.039 --> 00:01:04.959 He's saying, if you were so smart, you knew 7,000 languages in every dialect, and if an angel came out of heaven, you can speak angel fluently. 00:01:05.120 --> 00:01:13.120 He said, But if you did that and it didn't translate and turn into loving other people, you would just be making a bunch of noise. 00:01:13.359 --> 00:01:24.079 Verse 2, he said, if I had the gift of prophecy and I understood all God's secret plans and possessed all knowledge, if I had such faith I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing. 00:01:24.319 --> 00:01:38.000 If I was pious and if I I was uh insightful, and if I God was selecting me and whispering the mysteries of heaven that's confounded the wise, but yet he's told me, and so we're like, I'm like that. 00:01:38.159 --> 00:01:42.079 And yet it didn't turn into loving others, it wouldn't have any point at all. 00:01:42.239 --> 00:01:44.640 He said it would be it would be nothing. 00:01:44.799 --> 00:01:54.000 Verse 3, he said, if I gave everything I had to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it, but if I didn't love others, I would have gained nothing. 00:01:54.159 --> 00:02:01.840 And this is the place where, as the reader of 1 Corinthians 13, even though it was not written to us, it was written for us. 00:02:02.000 --> 00:02:06.640 And so we step back and we say, okay, what does this mean for me and you? 00:02:06.799 --> 00:02:21.840 What this means is that our life's work, whatever you're working on, giving, learning, all of that is voided out if it doesn't turn into loving others, into loving each other. 00:02:22.080 --> 00:02:32.159 And as the body of Christ, that is our greatest joy and responsibility is to bring the image of God into the world, and God is love. 00:02:32.560 --> 00:02:35.599 Okay, well, that's that's a big conversation then. 00:02:35.680 --> 00:02:38.000 How do I know if I'm being loving? 00:02:38.159 --> 00:02:39.520 How do I know what love is? 00:02:39.759 --> 00:02:41.599 A lot of people have their own definitions. 00:02:41.840 --> 00:02:44.319 Paul gives us God's definition. 00:02:44.479 --> 00:02:45.120 So here we go. 00:02:45.199 --> 00:02:48.639 We're gonna we're gonna go, verse four, it says, Love is patient and kind. 00:02:48.719 --> 00:02:50.159 That's what we talked about last week. 00:02:50.319 --> 00:02:57.039 This week we're gonna focus on love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. 00:02:57.840 --> 00:03:01.840 Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. 00:03:02.080 --> 00:03:04.080 Last week we talked about what love is. 00:03:04.240 --> 00:03:06.800 Now we're gonna talk a little bit about what love isn't. 00:03:07.120 --> 00:03:08.319 Love is not jealous. 00:03:08.479 --> 00:03:09.439 Let's start with that. 00:03:09.680 --> 00:03:13.919 Um, I got a little challenge today, and the the re here's my challenge. 00:03:14.080 --> 00:03:29.680 My challenge is everything in my brain and yours is sort of wired to reject bad feelings, and the idea of admitting that you are jealous or you have jealous feelings, or you're jealous of someone, is extremely hard to do. 00:03:29.759 --> 00:03:31.759 Your brain just doesn't want to let you do it. 00:03:32.000 --> 00:03:42.479 Uh, jealousy is so petty that we've all but convinced ourselves that we left it in middle school, but we didn't. 00:03:42.960 --> 00:03:48.800 In fact, I would say now is probably the easiest time to get jealous. 00:03:49.039 --> 00:03:52.560 It's because in the day, some of you are old enough to remember the day, right? 00:03:52.719 --> 00:04:00.400 In the day, you knew enough about people, you might be a little jealous, you knew like the sound bites, you knew the bullet points. 00:04:00.479 --> 00:04:12.479 Oh, so-and-so's rich, so-and-so's smart, so-and-so's beautiful, so-and-so's got the perfect metabolism, so-and-so's got the big job, so-and-so's got the big title, okay. 00:04:12.639 --> 00:04:13.039 Whatever. 00:04:13.199 --> 00:04:15.360 You knew reasons to be jealous of them. 00:04:15.520 --> 00:04:20.240 You didn't know how jealous you you should be, though, but you do now because they post it all. 00:04:20.480 --> 00:04:24.319 They post every bit of it, they post their IQ online, okay. 00:04:24.480 --> 00:04:27.120 They post uh how great the vacation was. 00:04:27.279 --> 00:04:30.000 You you're it and it's not just them, it's everybody, right? 00:04:30.079 --> 00:04:35.600 I mean, you some of you remember when you didn't stay up with your high school friends because you didn't even know where they are. 00:04:35.759 --> 00:04:37.519 Now they're on your phone, okay? 00:04:37.600 --> 00:04:40.079 They're on there and they're showing you everything all the time. 00:04:40.240 --> 00:04:47.439 And so the reality is we would be foolish to think that we're not going to be triggered into feelings of jealousy. 00:04:47.519 --> 00:04:50.879 Whether we submit to it or not, we are going to be triggered by it. 00:04:51.040 --> 00:04:54.399 And I think we have to really think our way and work our way through this. 00:04:54.480 --> 00:05:01.120 And the stakes are high because 1 Corinthians 13 says, I can't be jealous and loving. 00:05:01.360 --> 00:05:03.839 I got to figure out what to do with this. 00:05:04.079 --> 00:05:07.199 Um, okay, I want to take you to a biblical narrative. 00:05:07.360 --> 00:05:08.879 If you don't have your Bible, don't worry about it. 00:05:08.959 --> 00:05:09.920 I'll bring it up on the screen. 00:05:10.000 --> 00:05:12.399 It's Old Testament, it's 1 Samuel 18. 00:05:12.560 --> 00:05:22.079 I'm gonna talk about three characters because I think there's like the perfect story in the Old Testament that really highlights this, that shows what it looks like done wrong and done right. 00:05:22.319 --> 00:05:28.480 The three characters are a guy named David, uh, who you probably heard of, David and Goliath, that guy. 00:05:28.720 --> 00:05:35.759 You have Saul, who's the king at the time, and you have Jonathan, who is Saul's son. 00:05:35.839 --> 00:05:37.519 He's the crown prince. 00:05:38.000 --> 00:05:42.560 In 1 Samuel 17 is the famous, famous story of David and Goliath. 00:05:42.720 --> 00:05:45.920 So David, remember, he's he was a shepherd boy. 00:05:46.079 --> 00:05:47.519 He was from Bethlehem. 00:05:47.759 --> 00:05:54.000 He he wasn't from a wealthy family, he was the youngest in his family, and actually kind of came up in a little bit of dysfunction. 00:05:54.160 --> 00:06:00.000 Like his dad and his brothers overlooked him, they didn't value him properly, and he probably felt some of that. 00:06:00.319 --> 00:06:02.480 We know he felt actually a lot of that. 00:06:02.639 --> 00:06:10.079 And so, um, you know, even though he didn't come from privilege, he he worked out in a field taking care of sheep, which sounds like okay, whatever. 00:06:10.160 --> 00:06:13.920 He's walking around with a staff and babysitting sheep, but that's not what he was doing. 00:06:14.079 --> 00:06:16.000 We we we actually know more of the story. 00:06:16.160 --> 00:06:18.160 He would fight predators. 00:06:18.560 --> 00:06:24.319 So the Bible says at one point there was a lion that had a sheep in its mouth tasting blood. 00:06:24.480 --> 00:06:30.800 And David went over and it said, took the lion by the jaw and beat it to death with a club. 00:06:31.040 --> 00:06:32.720 Okay, that's a real dude right there. 00:06:32.800 --> 00:06:33.839 I mean, that's a dude. 00:06:34.000 --> 00:06:35.519 Okay, I'll be honest with you. 00:06:35.600 --> 00:06:43.279 I consider myself a pretty courageous guy, but if I'm in charge of the sheep and a hungry lion has one in its mouth, we're down one. 00:06:43.439 --> 00:06:44.480 We're down one. 00:06:44.800 --> 00:06:49.120 Just get the spreadsheet out, subtract one, minus one, okay. 00:06:49.439 --> 00:06:50.480 God bless, you know. 00:06:50.560 --> 00:06:53.279 Now I'm gonna try to learn my lesson from that loss. 00:06:53.439 --> 00:06:58.800 But I'm not going in there and grabbing any lion by any jaw if all I have is a club, frankly. 00:06:58.959 --> 00:07:06.879 Okay, so we know he was this dude was earning his own respect the old-fashioned way, fighting these predators. 00:07:07.040 --> 00:07:09.759 And so, you know, but no, everybody underestimated him. 00:07:09.839 --> 00:07:17.759 He shows up to battle, Goliath is out there, you know, defying the armies of the living God, and he's standing there, and everyone's intimidated. 00:07:18.240 --> 00:07:27.680 The entire military is back there hiding, including Saul, who's the king, who's actually, we know from scripture, is a big, physically big man. 00:07:28.240 --> 00:07:39.040 And so David's a teenager, he's probably 16, 17 years old, and he walks out and Goliath is out there, and David has this confidence. 00:07:39.519 --> 00:07:41.040 How do you get confidence like that? 00:07:41.199 --> 00:07:46.240 You do it because you've been in life and death situations since you were a little kid. 00:07:46.399 --> 00:07:52.720 And so he's a teenager and he's been snatching up lines by the jaw, and he's looking at Goliath, and he's like, Who's gonna kill this guy? 00:07:52.879 --> 00:07:56.399 He's he's on the wrong battlefield, he's defying the armies of the living God. 00:07:56.480 --> 00:07:57.439 Someone needs to go kill him. 00:07:57.600 --> 00:07:59.279 They're like, why don't you do it? 00:07:59.360 --> 00:08:00.240 And he's like, Okay. 00:08:00.639 --> 00:08:07.439 And so he goes out and he literally, he's there's nothing in the text that suggests he was nervous or scared or thought he was gonna lose. 00:08:07.600 --> 00:08:08.959 He's like, This guy's dead meat. 00:08:09.040 --> 00:08:10.879 He brought a knife to a gunfight. 00:08:11.040 --> 00:08:12.879 He's out there with a sword and a spear. 00:08:13.040 --> 00:08:15.680 I've got this sling, I'm gonna just he's done. 00:08:15.759 --> 00:08:17.439 And he just goes out and just kills him. 00:08:17.519 --> 00:08:18.720 I mean, he kills him in one shot. 00:08:18.879 --> 00:08:20.800 One shot, one kill, boom, he's down. 00:08:21.199 --> 00:08:26.399 And uh so now, end of chapter 17, David is the man. 00:08:26.560 --> 00:08:28.959 And everybody's trying to figure out who David is. 00:08:29.120 --> 00:08:29.920 Who is this dude? 00:08:30.000 --> 00:08:31.279 What's who's his dad? 00:08:31.439 --> 00:08:36.799 And chapter 17 ends with, oh, his dad, uh his name's Jesse, and he's from Bethlehem. 00:08:36.960 --> 00:08:39.519 Okay, so he's coming on, coming on strong here. 00:08:39.759 --> 00:08:48.799 Verse uh 1 Samuel 18, 1, says, after David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king's son. 00:08:48.960 --> 00:08:54.960 And there was an immediate bond between them, for Jonathan loved David. 00:08:55.200 --> 00:08:59.360 From that day on, Saul kept David with him and wouldn't let him return home. 00:08:59.519 --> 00:09:02.000 And Jonathan made a solemn pact with David. 00:09:02.159 --> 00:09:06.480 Look at this, because he loved him as he loved himself. 00:09:06.799 --> 00:09:18.799 Jonathan sealed the pact by taking off his robe and giving it to David, together with his tunic, his sword, his bow, and his belt. 00:09:18.960 --> 00:09:31.360 Okay, so in the first part of chapter 18, you have Jonathan and he meets David, and it says that they had this relational chemistry, and he loved him like he loved himself. 00:09:32.399 --> 00:09:34.720 And so he gives him his robe. 00:09:35.679 --> 00:09:37.120 Probably nicer one than this. 00:09:37.279 --> 00:09:40.000 This is mine, okay, at the house. 00:09:41.600 --> 00:09:43.600 All right, probably nicer. 00:09:44.480 --> 00:09:48.559 When you read this and you see that he gave him his robe, don't just think he gave him a cool gift. 00:09:48.720 --> 00:09:52.559 The robe represented what was coming to Jonathan. 00:09:52.639 --> 00:09:55.120 It rope represented royalty. 00:09:55.360 --> 00:09:56.960 He's the crown prince. 00:09:57.200 --> 00:10:04.960 So when he takes off his royal robe and he gives it to David, this isn't like, hey, here's my coat, now you can have a coat. 00:10:05.120 --> 00:10:11.360 It's like this is my position and my future as king, and I think you should have it. 00:10:11.679 --> 00:10:14.559 I see on your life something unique. 00:10:14.799 --> 00:10:28.320 I see God has his hand on you, and instead of being jealous of you or being scared that you might take my robe, I'm actually going to give you my robe because I see something in you, and he loved him. 00:10:28.480 --> 00:10:30.159 It says like he loved himself. 00:10:30.399 --> 00:10:31.279 He gives him his robe. 00:10:31.360 --> 00:10:34.159 But on top of that, he gives him his sword. 00:10:37.840 --> 00:10:40.639 Well, you can open some letters with that, boy, I'll tell you. 00:10:40.879 --> 00:10:43.919 Um gives him his sword, which which means what? 00:10:44.080 --> 00:10:49.279 He's giving him his protection, he's making himself vulnerable to David. 00:10:49.440 --> 00:11:01.840 Not only am I going to give you what's coming to me in terms of my future as king, which I think God has for you at my expense, but I'm going to make myself vulnerable for you. 00:11:01.919 --> 00:11:03.120 I'm going to give you my sword. 00:11:03.200 --> 00:11:06.159 And swords, not everybody had a sword at that time. 00:11:06.320 --> 00:11:09.519 He's giving up his weapon, making himself vulnerable. 00:11:09.679 --> 00:11:11.279 Alright, let's keep reading. 00:11:11.679 --> 00:11:19.919 Verse 6 said, When the victorious Israelite army returned home after David had killed the Philistine. 00:11:20.080 --> 00:11:22.399 By the way, I've never been more comfortable than I am right now. 00:11:22.480 --> 00:11:25.679 I might start doing this, preaching this one every week. 00:11:25.840 --> 00:11:42.080 Okay, um it said, when they came home after David had killed the Philistine Goliath, women from all over the towns of Israel came out to meet King Saul, and they sang and danced for joy with tambourines and cymbals, and this was their song. 00:11:42.960 --> 00:11:47.200 Saul has killed his thousands and David his ten thousands. 00:11:48.480 --> 00:11:58.000 The ladies wrote a song and it was a banger, and they released it on Spotify, and it was called David's twice ten times the man. 00:11:58.320 --> 00:11:59.200 That's what it's called. 00:11:59.440 --> 00:12:00.960 David's 10x the man. 00:12:01.360 --> 00:12:05.360 David is ten times that of Saul. 00:12:05.519 --> 00:12:07.200 Pretty predictable, verse eight. 00:12:07.360 --> 00:12:09.200 This made Saul very angry. 00:12:09.840 --> 00:12:11.519 Now look look look next. 00:12:11.679 --> 00:12:12.480 What's this? 00:12:12.799 --> 00:12:17.039 He said, they credit David with ten thousands and me only thousands. 00:12:17.279 --> 00:12:20.080 Next time they'll be making him their king. 00:12:20.480 --> 00:12:21.120 Verse 9. 00:12:21.279 --> 00:12:25.759 So from that time on, Saul kept a jealous eye on David. 00:12:26.000 --> 00:12:28.399 He kept a jealous eye on David. 00:12:28.720 --> 00:12:37.519 Um I'm gonna give you three triggers for jealousy and three remedies for those triggers. 00:12:37.679 --> 00:12:39.200 Alright, and then we'll call it a day. 00:12:39.519 --> 00:12:49.759 The first one, the first trigger of jealousy, that triggered Saul and triggers each of us, is fear of somebody taking something valuable from you. 00:12:50.799 --> 00:12:54.159 Fear of somebody taking something valuable from you. 00:12:54.960 --> 00:13:04.799 Um I mentioned fear because in 1 Samuel 18, if you read it all the way through, you meant it keeps talking about how afraid Saul is. 00:13:04.960 --> 00:13:08.960 So it says in verse 12, uh Saul was then afraid of David. 00:13:09.200 --> 00:13:15.120 Verse 15, 14 and 15, David continued to succeed in everything he did, for the Lord was with him. 00:13:15.200 --> 00:13:19.919 And when Saul recognized this, he became even more afraid of him. 00:13:20.159 --> 00:13:21.600 Verses 28 and 29. 00:13:21.840 --> 00:13:34.080 When Saul realized the Lord was with David and how much his daughter uh Michael loved him, Saul became even more afraid of him, and he remained David's enemy for the rest of his life. 00:13:34.480 --> 00:13:39.360 Um, there's a fear, there's fear associated with jealousy. 00:13:39.519 --> 00:13:41.200 Let's look at the progression. 00:13:41.440 --> 00:13:49.279 It starts with this fear, and fear leads to insecurity. 00:13:50.879 --> 00:13:53.039 Fear leads to insecurity. 00:13:53.440 --> 00:14:04.799 Insecurity makes us prone to jealousy, and when you're jealous, jealousy robs you of love. 00:14:05.759 --> 00:14:06.879 It robs you of love. 00:14:06.960 --> 00:14:08.159 Okay, this is the progression. 00:14:08.320 --> 00:14:12.480 So it starts with fear because I'm afraid I'm insecure, right? 00:14:12.799 --> 00:14:14.720 I'm I feel unstable. 00:14:15.039 --> 00:14:21.200 And when I feel insecure, everyone around me feels like a threat to the things that are most important. 00:14:21.600 --> 00:14:24.559 And we we see this show up at all kinds of places. 00:14:24.639 --> 00:14:27.279 Let's start in romantic relationships, right? 00:14:27.360 --> 00:14:38.240 In a romantic relationship, if you are operating out of fear and a sense of insecurity, everybody feels like a threat to take this person away. 00:14:38.639 --> 00:14:40.159 And guess what? 00:14:40.720 --> 00:14:45.039 There's always somebody who has more of something than you. 00:14:46.000 --> 00:14:52.799 So everybody that you know she's talking to that has more money, okay, is gonna feel like a threat. 00:14:53.039 --> 00:14:58.159 Everybody he's talking to who has physical attributes that you don't have feels like a threat. 00:14:58.320 --> 00:15:16.159 Everybody that they're talking to or who they're interacting with, who who has a better reputation, who is smarter, who has a better sense of confidence, um, you know, who has had bigger opportunities, who in some way you look and and they feel like more than you. 00:15:16.960 --> 00:15:19.440 And so it feels like a threat. 00:15:19.600 --> 00:15:20.879 Everybody feels like a threat. 00:15:21.039 --> 00:15:25.600 That's true not just in romantic relationships, and people become jealous and possessive. 00:15:25.759 --> 00:15:28.399 And this is true on the on the job, man. 00:15:28.639 --> 00:15:39.840 People whose whole identity is locked into their title or their authority or their position, and so every up-and-comer, every shepherd that comes in feels like a threat. 00:15:40.000 --> 00:15:45.200 Every David that shows up in your life feels like a threat because uh they work hard. 00:15:45.279 --> 00:16:05.759 And you you thought going to the job, if I just get up and show up early and stay late, and I'm a good team player and I communicate well and I deliver on my goals and I deliver on my word, that I'll be promoted and celebrated, and the people will be glad that I'm here, and yet you showed up and you did everything right, and you were a threat to somebody. 00:16:06.399 --> 00:16:14.080 Because they're worried, oh, at some point, like Saul said, they're gonna say, We don't even need this Saul guy anymore. 00:16:14.320 --> 00:16:19.279 And they're gonna snatch the crown off of my head and they're gonna put it on David. 00:16:20.080 --> 00:16:24.960 And what we see with Saul is he lived in this state of mind of insecurity. 00:16:25.120 --> 00:16:36.799 In fact, insecurity shows up for Saul when we meet him all the way back in chapter 10, you know, when he's being crowned king, he's hiding in the baggage because he doesn't, he's insecure. 00:16:37.200 --> 00:16:54.480 He's insecure, and you've got to deal with insecurity because here's the deal if I don't figure out my fear and I don't operate from a place of security, then it really doesn't matter how nice David is, it doesn't matter how sincere he is, it doesn't matter that your son Jonathan is actually a really great guy. 00:16:54.639 --> 00:17:00.720 You'll end up blowing up relationships with people, and and we see from Saul's life, he blamed them the whole time. 00:17:00.960 --> 00:17:05.119 And the reality is the issue was in his own heart. 00:17:05.839 --> 00:17:07.519 Okay, so what's the remedy? 00:17:07.599 --> 00:17:09.839 Alright, I'm gonna give you the remedies here. 00:17:10.079 --> 00:17:10.559 Alright? 00:17:10.720 --> 00:17:12.720 The remedy is identity. 00:17:14.079 --> 00:17:15.039 Identity. 00:17:15.279 --> 00:17:17.279 You have to know who you are. 00:17:18.480 --> 00:17:20.319 You have to know who you are. 00:17:20.640 --> 00:17:24.960 You need to know not only who you are, but who you're not. 00:17:26.079 --> 00:17:29.759 So I know who I am, and because I know who I am, I know who I'm not. 00:17:30.000 --> 00:17:34.559 I I receive my identity from Almighty God Himself. 00:17:35.839 --> 00:17:37.119 Jesus said it like this. 00:17:37.279 --> 00:17:45.680 He said, Listen, a foolish man builds his house or his life or his identity on the sand. 00:17:46.319 --> 00:17:49.440 The sand is something that shifts and can be taken away. 00:17:49.599 --> 00:17:58.079 If you build your identity or your sense of confidence on what can be taken away, then you will be insecure because it can go away. 00:17:58.480 --> 00:17:59.680 Alright, what can go away? 00:17:59.759 --> 00:18:01.279 What can be taken away? 00:18:01.680 --> 00:18:03.119 Like everything. 00:18:03.440 --> 00:18:08.559 Okay, your money can be taken away, your reputation can be taken away, okay? 00:18:08.720 --> 00:18:17.519 Your respect can be taken away, your position can be taken away, people in your life can be taken away or can walk away. 00:18:17.839 --> 00:18:22.720 Alright, your your health can be taken away, or you know, you can lose it. 00:18:23.119 --> 00:18:44.000 If I'm building my identity on anything other than that I am a dearly loved son of the most high God, and that you're a dearly loved daughter of the most high God, and I find my security in him, then I will be prone to insecurity, which means everyone feels like a threat, which ultimately jealousy robs me of love. 00:18:44.640 --> 00:18:45.599 Robs me of love. 00:18:45.680 --> 00:18:54.160 It almost makes me incapable of loving because even good people feel like a threat, and my brain is really good at blaming it on them. 00:18:55.039 --> 00:18:58.640 Let's look at the second, let's look at the second trigger here. 00:18:58.799 --> 00:19:03.680 The second trigger is somebody has something that used to be yours. 00:19:04.880 --> 00:19:06.079 Trigger for jealousy. 00:19:06.240 --> 00:19:10.880 Somebody has something that used to belong to you, it used to be yours. 00:19:11.039 --> 00:19:31.599 Now, we know that David received the robe and the sword from Jonathan, but at some point Jonathan was going to have to probably fight some trigger feelings that he sees David really wearing the robe well, and he sees David wielding the sword well. 00:19:32.000 --> 00:19:35.599 And at some point, you go, that used to be mine. 00:19:36.480 --> 00:19:37.440 That was mine. 00:19:38.720 --> 00:19:50.079 And you know, one of the reasons Jonathan is a really great example in the scriptures, we we don't have any indication in the Bible that you know he that he was jealous of David. 00:19:50.160 --> 00:20:02.559 In fact, it says that that their love for one another, they had this amazing relationship and they were pulling for each other and and that he loved him and that he wasn't jealous of him, probably because he had a sense of identity. 00:20:02.720 --> 00:20:10.720 But but I want to I want to show you how I would get past this feeling, like when I see people who have something I used to have. 00:20:10.880 --> 00:20:29.200 Maybe it was, again, I you had a season of leadership or or or something where you know you had some power and now somebody else has the power, or you had a certain position, somebody else has a position, or you have somebody, right, that uh something that used to be yours, you see somebody with it now, and you have those feelings of jealousy. 00:20:29.440 --> 00:20:31.920 All right, well, let's let's go back to this. 00:20:32.079 --> 00:20:37.680 How do I, if I'm gonna create a new progression, how do I deal with fear? 00:20:37.920 --> 00:20:42.160 1 John 4 18 says, There's no fear in love. 00:20:42.960 --> 00:20:47.920 There's no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear. 00:20:48.559 --> 00:20:51.119 Perfect love casts out fear. 00:20:51.440 --> 00:20:53.599 Okay, it expels fear. 00:20:53.920 --> 00:21:01.839 And so he says, uh if we're afraid, um, it has to do with punishment, but the one who fears is not made perfect in love. 00:21:02.000 --> 00:21:06.319 Now, the the power in this is in the context. 00:21:06.559 --> 00:21:08.559 What is first John 4? 00:21:08.799 --> 00:21:09.599 What's it about? 00:21:09.759 --> 00:21:14.319 What 1 John 4 is about is the love of God expressed through Jesus. 00:21:14.480 --> 00:21:20.960 So if you go back to 1 John 3, 1 John 3 16 is the one that says, Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. 00:21:21.119 --> 00:21:23.359 We ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. 00:21:23.440 --> 00:21:26.880 It's about receiving the love of God through Jesus. 00:21:27.119 --> 00:21:41.839 And so when 1 John 4 is talking about God is love and these expressions of love and that perfect love casts out fear, what it's saying is when we receive the love of Jesus through the work of Jesus on the cross, what does it do? 00:21:41.920 --> 00:21:46.000 But it creates that foundation of a solid rock in our lives. 00:21:46.240 --> 00:21:47.440 No one can take it away. 00:21:47.519 --> 00:21:50.640 So that's what you build your life on, which then expels fear. 00:21:51.279 --> 00:22:06.319 You can take my money, you can even take my reputation, you could be misunderstood by everybody, everybody could walk out of your life, it would hurt, it would sting, you'd have a Rough day, you'd cry some tears, but you would come back because those things and those people are not your foundation. 00:22:06.480 --> 00:22:09.359 My foundation is on Christ, the solid rock I stand. 00:22:09.920 --> 00:22:16.400 And so now it is expelled this deep visceral fear that I have that I'm always everybody's a threat. 00:22:17.039 --> 00:22:21.279 And so now perfect love, okay, fear, you're out of here. 00:22:21.440 --> 00:22:38.799 Perfect love has cast it out, and now I'm operating operating not from insecurity, okay, but I'm operating from a place of security and confidence, which then leads to instead of jealousy, generosity. 00:22:40.240 --> 00:22:41.920 So I'm writing remedies down here. 00:22:42.000 --> 00:22:43.039 We got identity. 00:22:43.200 --> 00:22:46.160 The second we have is generosity. 00:22:46.559 --> 00:22:51.119 Think about what, think about the difference between Jonathan and Saul. 00:22:51.920 --> 00:22:55.440 Saul's grabbing his crown, he's afraid I'm gonna lose it. 00:22:55.519 --> 00:22:58.559 He's white knuckling, okay, his being a king. 00:22:58.799 --> 00:23:01.599 Jonathan's like, I know who I am. 00:23:02.400 --> 00:23:03.759 I know who I am. 00:23:04.160 --> 00:23:09.440 And he's generously giving, he holds it loosely. 00:23:10.400 --> 00:23:17.839 And when you operate from security, a lot of the things that people tend to grab because I don't know who I would be without this crown. 00:23:19.039 --> 00:23:27.759 You operate from security, what you naturally do is you start becoming generous and you start giving the robe that someone gave you but doesn't belong to you. 00:23:28.240 --> 00:23:30.559 No, I think that I think it'd be better suited for you. 00:23:30.640 --> 00:23:32.319 I think I think God has that for you. 00:23:32.400 --> 00:23:39.119 You start giving up your sword because I don't feel like I'm gonna be in a sword fight every single day all the time because everybody's a threat. 00:23:39.440 --> 00:23:43.279 I'm operating from a place of security, which then leads to generosity. 00:23:43.440 --> 00:23:48.400 And of course, generosity creates a great element in love. 00:23:49.599 --> 00:23:50.000 Right? 00:23:50.480 --> 00:23:52.000 I'm generous within that. 00:23:52.319 --> 00:23:55.359 I think a lot of this really gets down to a few things. 00:23:55.519 --> 00:24:02.720 One is understanding that the crown and the robe and the sword are not yours. 00:24:04.960 --> 00:24:07.039 This is not my this is not mine. 00:24:07.680 --> 00:24:09.359 I'm stewarding it. 00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:17.279 Your gifts are not yours, your opportunities are not yours, your position is not yours. 00:24:17.440 --> 00:24:19.839 You are stewarding it for a season. 00:24:22.079 --> 00:24:25.039 And someday I'll give this robe to somebody else. 00:24:25.680 --> 00:24:32.480 And someday I'll give this sword to somebody else, and when it comes time, it'll be fine because my life has been open-handed even when I had it. 00:24:32.799 --> 00:24:50.799 If you operate from insecurity and jealousy, the sad thing is, even the years where you have the robe and sword, you don't even get to enjoy them fully and find the fulfillment that they were designed to give you because the whole time you were so afraid of all the threats, of what everybody was gonna take from you. 00:24:51.039 --> 00:25:07.200 But if you can live in that place open-hearted and open-handed and in a place of generosity, not only will the years that you that that you are laying claim to, the robe and the sword for that season, you will enjoy it more, but when it comes time to give it up, you'll be ready to give it up. 00:25:07.440 --> 00:25:09.359 You'll be ready to hand it off. 00:25:10.240 --> 00:25:16.799 I want to think about this, about how we how we think about it and how we wear our robe and sword, how we carry ourselves. 00:25:17.039 --> 00:25:22.559 You know, if we go back to 1 Corinthians 13, let's go back and read, um, read this again. 00:25:22.799 --> 00:25:28.720 It says, love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. 00:25:28.799 --> 00:25:30.079 I want you to think about that. 00:25:30.799 --> 00:25:35.920 Love is not jealous, but it says it is not jealous, but it does not boast. 00:25:37.039 --> 00:25:37.920 Think about that. 00:25:38.559 --> 00:25:40.480 How do why do you boast? 00:25:41.359 --> 00:25:43.920 You boast because you're trying to make somebody jealous. 00:25:45.359 --> 00:25:53.200 So essentially it's saying love doesn't is not envy or love is not jealous, but also love doesn't try to make somebody jealous. 00:25:54.160 --> 00:25:55.440 It's not boastful. 00:25:56.160 --> 00:26:07.039 And I think we need to think about this for a little bit because we do live in a world where we put out things into the world and we need to take a moment to really take responsibility for our intentions. 00:26:07.599 --> 00:26:10.079 Why are you putting out what you're putting out? 00:26:10.240 --> 00:26:12.799 Are you doing it to boast? 00:26:12.960 --> 00:26:15.519 Are you hoping people will envy you? 00:26:15.839 --> 00:26:17.279 Is that what you're putting in the world? 00:26:17.359 --> 00:26:22.000 Because if you're doing that, you're doing something that's counterproductive to a loving world. 00:26:22.640 --> 00:26:31.759 Now let's think this all the way through, though, because it would be a mistake for us to take personal responsibility for every jealous person. 00:26:32.720 --> 00:26:41.759 So there are some people who just by simply you wearing your robe and carrying your sword will become jealous because they don't have a sword and a robe. 00:26:42.640 --> 00:26:54.640 And what you can't do is spend your whole life, okay, worried about what everybody who doesn't have a robe and sword and is jealous of everyone who does, what they said about you and what they think about you. 00:26:55.279 --> 00:27:10.640 And that's one way to kind of, I think, mishandle this would be to go around and to mute down your gifts, okay, to mute down your God-given ambition to make room for someone with apathy to not feel so bad. 00:27:11.279 --> 00:27:21.359 Or people, okay, who are just jealous simply because they haven't gone through the process of finding their identity in Christ and finding their God-given purpose. 00:27:21.680 --> 00:27:24.559 And so now everybody makes them jealous all the time. 00:27:24.720 --> 00:27:26.240 You just happen to be one of them. 00:27:26.400 --> 00:27:31.599 I would not encourage you to spend your life going trying to walk each one of them out of that pit. 00:27:31.759 --> 00:27:33.200 That's between them and the Lord. 00:27:33.279 --> 00:27:40.480 And if by you, if you say, look, I've got uh awareness of God, I realize all of this is a stewardship, it's from Him. 00:27:40.640 --> 00:27:43.599 He's the one who's given this to me, and I'm gonna be giving it back. 00:27:43.759 --> 00:27:45.359 In fact, I live open-handed with it. 00:27:45.440 --> 00:27:47.599 If he wants it today, it's going back to him. 00:27:47.839 --> 00:27:50.400 If it goes to the next David, I'll be giving it to the next David. 00:27:50.480 --> 00:28:01.279 It's not mine, but I'm gonna walk in it, I'm gonna walk in my sense of purpose, and if that makes somebody jealous, that is not your problem, that is their problem. 00:28:02.319 --> 00:28:09.519 And in some way, you've got to thicken up your skin and focus on what's yours to focus on and drown out all that noise. 00:28:10.799 --> 00:28:30.480 At the same time, I do think we need to be conscious of our own motives because I've seen people who be became so demoralized by everybody who was jealous, and so they they they they cower down to make room for everybody, you know, because I don't want anybody to be jealous. 00:28:30.640 --> 00:28:36.480 But then I've also seen people that the jealous people got to them so bad they were they were ready to dab on every jealous person. 00:28:36.559 --> 00:28:39.839 I'm gonna spend my whole life making the jealous people even more jealous. 00:28:40.079 --> 00:28:44.079 So you you think you're jealous now, wait till you see me walk in in this robe. 00:28:44.400 --> 00:28:46.079 You you you think you're jealous now. 00:28:46.160 --> 00:28:51.200 Oh, okay, you have no idea what I can do, okay, what I'm capable of. 00:28:51.359 --> 00:29:07.200 And and so so they get in this really, really bad headspace because because they're they they just want to make sure the haters know, and they want to make sure all the jealous people, and they actually start to get some darkness in their heart because now it's just I just want to make the jealous people as jealous as possible. 00:29:07.279 --> 00:29:08.559 I want to twist in the wind. 00:29:08.640 --> 00:29:17.599 Look, you don't want to be trying to convert every jealous person and make them secure, and you also don't want to be going and trying to make everybody even more jealous because they were jealous the first time. 00:29:18.319 --> 00:29:20.319 That's not the life you want to live. 00:29:21.200 --> 00:29:22.240 What do you want to do? 00:29:22.400 --> 00:29:31.680 You want to actually develop real character, true character, actually becoming a humble person, and to be able to walk in that. 00:29:32.000 --> 00:29:32.559 Alright? 00:29:32.960 --> 00:29:35.440 Let me give you the third, the third trigger. 00:29:35.599 --> 00:29:41.039 The third trigger is there's there's something you want, but it isn't meant for you. 00:29:43.359 --> 00:29:45.839 There's something you want, but it isn't meant for you. 00:29:45.920 --> 00:29:47.920 And I think this comes in kind of two categories. 00:29:48.079 --> 00:29:52.640 One is there's something you want isn't meant for you, but it could have been you. 00:29:54.079 --> 00:29:57.119 You see somebody living your dream. 00:29:58.319 --> 00:30:02.000 You see somebody who's gifted similarly to you. 00:30:02.160 --> 00:30:07.440 You see somebody who you identify with and you had the dream and it didn't happen for you. 00:30:07.599 --> 00:30:19.200 Either you tried hard and and the doors didn't open, you didn't get the same opportunity, they did, and there they go, and you're watching them live the dream you always dreamed of. 00:30:20.400 --> 00:30:28.160 Or it might be not somebody who's doing what you could have done, it's somebody who's doing what you couldn't have done. 00:30:28.799 --> 00:30:50.880 You couldn't have done, you're gifted differently, and so you find yourself thinking and dwelling and focusing on people living a life or living something that you only wish you could, and you're not gifted that way. 00:30:51.839 --> 00:30:57.680 The remedy is purpose. 00:31:01.920 --> 00:31:12.960 If you spend your life scrolling and watching people living their purpose, how are you living yours? 00:31:14.160 --> 00:31:34.079 Philippians 2 gives us an example that says, do think like Christ Jesus, have the same attitude as Christ Jesus, who did not consider equality with God something to be cling to, but he gave up generously, gave up his divine rights, and took on his assignment of flesh to go to the cross for his purpose. 00:31:34.400 --> 00:31:38.480 And friend, I'll say there's always somebody who's doing more of what you could have done. 00:31:38.640 --> 00:31:44.000 And you can think of, well, I maybe I could have been this, and I could have done that, and I could have done that, and they're over here living my dream. 00:31:44.160 --> 00:31:48.640 Or you're watching people in spaces God never intended for you. 00:31:49.359 --> 00:31:59.039 And so you're you're you end up having a ton of your finite short life designed by God to do the good works that He created for you to do. 00:31:59.279 --> 00:32:05.119 The only advice I have for you in this is you just have to get laser focused on your purpose. 00:32:05.440 --> 00:32:11.440 Laser focused on the good work God's created for you to do, laser focused on your assignment. 00:32:11.599 --> 00:32:19.119 And if you'll do that, you won't even have the time, space, or beware, like those trees will fall in woods and you weren't even there, so I don't even know if they made a sound. 00:32:19.279 --> 00:32:20.240 I'm not into that. 00:32:20.400 --> 00:32:22.559 I'm into this, I'm lost in this. 00:32:22.720 --> 00:32:25.359 This is what God's given me, and focus on it. 00:32:25.519 --> 00:32:32.799 And we see, we see for Jonathan, Jonathan is a unique guy because he's actually has every reason to be jealous of David. 00:32:32.960 --> 00:32:34.400 They're about the same age. 00:32:34.559 --> 00:32:36.720 Jonathan was probably a few years older. 00:32:36.880 --> 00:32:46.160 Okay, so if David's 17, you know, Jonathan might have been 22 years old, and here's this young guy who's getting all of, you know, he's a military officer, getting all of these great things. 00:32:46.319 --> 00:32:48.079 The women are writing songs about him. 00:32:48.240 --> 00:32:50.960 My dad, even though his dad hated him, was jealous of him. 00:32:51.119 --> 00:32:58.240 He's giving him up, uh, you know, giving him the best um assignments in battle because he's trying to get David killed. 00:32:58.319 --> 00:33:01.599 So he gives him the impossible missions, and David keeps winning. 00:33:01.759 --> 00:33:05.599 And then his sister Michael falls in love with him, and now he marries his sister. 00:33:05.680 --> 00:33:08.880 I mean, how many ways can you want to possibly be jealous of somebody? 00:33:08.960 --> 00:33:12.160 When you marry my sister, you do my job better than I do. 00:33:12.319 --> 00:33:13.119 But what does he do? 00:33:13.279 --> 00:33:15.440 He gives up his robe, he gives up his sword. 00:33:15.599 --> 00:33:16.960 He had a sense of identity. 00:33:17.119 --> 00:33:19.279 I know who I am, I'm my own man. 00:33:19.359 --> 00:33:21.200 I don't have to follow in those footsteps. 00:33:21.359 --> 00:33:25.599 He he would he had the presence of mind to step back from his own jealous father. 00:33:26.240 --> 00:33:35.359 And instead of following in those jealous footsteps, which we often do, we we follow in footsteps of leaders in front of us without analyzing. 00:33:35.519 --> 00:33:38.240 And he analyzed and he looked and he made a decision. 00:33:38.400 --> 00:33:41.920 I'm gonna trust God, I'm gonna put my identity here, I'm gonna live in jealousy. 00:33:42.160 --> 00:33:46.400 You, I'm not gonna compete with you over this sword and this robe because it doesn't belong to me. 00:33:46.480 --> 00:33:52.640 It was God's the whole time, and I'm gonna give it to you, and I'm not gonna sit around and think about what might have, maybe coulda, woulda, should have been. 00:33:52.799 --> 00:33:55.440 I'm gonna focus on what God has given me. 00:33:55.759 --> 00:33:57.519 So lock into your purpose. 00:33:57.759 --> 00:33:59.039 I end with this. 00:34:00.480 --> 00:34:02.799 I've got good news and bad news. 00:34:03.599 --> 00:34:05.759 I've got good news and bad news. 00:34:07.599 --> 00:34:13.519 The person or persons who you're jealous of are not the problem. 00:34:14.400 --> 00:34:15.920 That's the bad news. 00:34:16.159 --> 00:34:17.599 They are not the problem. 00:34:18.079 --> 00:34:28.000 You know, we gotta think of this all the way through because if you're not careful, this sermon can be rerouted by our brains that go, yeah, I hope they're listening. 00:34:29.920 --> 00:34:44.320 Hope all those souls out there are listening, you know, they're threatened by me and my robe and my sword, and yet, boy, it would take a lot of courage, and you can keep your poker face on and nobody can know what's actually going on in your mind. 00:34:44.400 --> 00:34:50.159 But would you have the courage to think about a question that might be a little embarrassing? 00:34:50.400 --> 00:34:54.000 Is there anywhere in your life you're on the wrong side of jealousy? 00:34:55.280 --> 00:35:02.639 And maybe it's somebody who feels like a threat to you, that you keep coming up with noble reasons not to like them. 00:35:02.719 --> 00:35:04.719 The reality is you're jealous. 00:35:05.519 --> 00:35:27.280 Or maybe somebody who's walking around with someone or with something that used to be yours is no longer yours, and you're overcome with jealousy, or maybe somebody who's living your dream, whether it was something you could have been or couldn't have been, and it's overcoming and taking your heart with jealousy instead of focusing on your purpose. 00:35:27.840 --> 00:35:30.400 See, we tend to think they're the problem. 00:35:30.559 --> 00:35:32.239 The bad news is they're not the problem. 00:35:32.400 --> 00:35:35.599 The good news is they're not the solution either. 00:35:36.079 --> 00:35:38.559 They're not the problem and they're not the solution. 00:35:38.800 --> 00:35:41.199 The solution is between you and God. 00:35:41.440 --> 00:35:46.960 The solution is for you to come to a place of foundation and your identity that's unshakable. 00:35:47.280 --> 00:35:52.559 And no one can walk out of your life and take it with them, and no one can rob you of this. 00:35:52.719 --> 00:35:54.400 It's given to you by God. 00:35:54.719 --> 00:35:57.760