WEBVTT 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:01.679 It's so great to have you here. 00:00:01.760 --> 00:00:04.080 And uh I'm gonna go ahead and open us up in prayer. 00:00:04.240 --> 00:00:06.080 We're gonna jump into God's word in just a moment. 00:00:06.240 --> 00:00:10.400 Lord, we thank you for the honor and privilege, Lord, of being in your house. 00:00:10.720 --> 00:00:14.240 Lord, we thank you that wherever we are, you're omnipresent. 00:00:14.320 --> 00:00:15.039 You're with us. 00:00:15.199 --> 00:00:17.440 Lord, you understand what we're going through. 00:00:17.600 --> 00:00:22.399 Uh some of us are walking through chaos and challenges, challenges, and confusion. 00:00:22.559 --> 00:00:24.800 And yet, Lord, you're not the author of confusion. 00:00:24.879 --> 00:00:37.359 It's in moments like this you bring things together, uh, you bring revelation to our minds and hearts, and you do a beautiful thing, which is to speak to us collectively, but also to speak custom, to speak specifically to each one of us. 00:00:37.600 --> 00:00:40.320 So we're all ears to you today, in Jesus' name. 00:00:40.479 --> 00:00:41.759 All God's people said, Amen. 00:00:42.320 --> 00:00:42.799 Amen. 00:00:42.960 --> 00:00:43.520 Amen. 00:00:43.600 --> 00:00:44.880 Uh my name's Greg Ford. 00:00:44.960 --> 00:00:46.240 I'm the lead pastor here at One Church. 00:00:46.320 --> 00:00:49.600 If we've not had a chance to meet, uh, I'm 42 years old. 00:00:49.759 --> 00:00:51.520 I've got a wife named Shaylin. 00:00:51.600 --> 00:00:52.799 I've got three kids. 00:00:52.960 --> 00:00:55.039 Uh, my wife and I met in college. 00:00:55.200 --> 00:01:01.520 I was going to college in Texas, and she was going to school at the University of Finley here in Ohio. 00:01:01.679 --> 00:01:04.879 And um uh we started a you know a long-distance relationship. 00:01:04.959 --> 00:01:09.040 We met uh in person, and then we we you know went away to our different schools. 00:01:09.120 --> 00:01:11.920 And this is like pre-social media, okay? 00:01:12.000 --> 00:01:13.840 Like Zanga wasn't even a thing yet. 00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:14.959 Anybody know what I'm talking about? 00:01:15.040 --> 00:01:15.760 Zanga? 00:01:15.840 --> 00:01:18.480 Uh MySpace was still in the mind of God, okay? 00:01:18.560 --> 00:01:22.079 And um uh we were like doing phone cards and all of that. 00:01:22.159 --> 00:01:24.239 Like anybody does anybody remember phone cards? 00:01:24.319 --> 00:01:32.640 Like, you know, three cents a minute, whatever, if you got a good deal, and uh you'd be on the phone, like pouring your heart out, and it'd be like you have one minute remaining. 00:01:33.680 --> 00:01:39.200 You had to hurry up and be romantic, you know, and then it would just drop you, and uh that was kind of how we got started. 00:01:39.280 --> 00:01:40.000 That's a true story. 00:01:40.079 --> 00:01:45.519 I we actually I remember we were at a distance, and I was like, you know, I kind of forget what you look like. 00:01:45.680 --> 00:01:47.840 And I was like, could you like take some pictures? 00:01:48.000 --> 00:02:00.400 And so so she got a Kodak disposable camera, and she's like, and and her sister's like, shh, and then I waited for them to come through the mail, and I'm like, oh man, you know, that's that has actually happened. 00:02:00.480 --> 00:02:09.199 Okay, um, that has nothing to do with the message, but I um when we met, we we were doing very different things. 00:02:09.280 --> 00:02:15.280 So I I was playing football at this school in Texas, and she was doing pageants, which are pretty much the opposite things. 00:02:15.520 --> 00:02:18.639 And uh I knew nothing of pageants, I had never been to a pageant. 00:02:18.719 --> 00:02:22.479 I kind of knew they existed, but I didn't know what they were or why would people anybody would do them. 00:02:22.639 --> 00:02:25.120 And then she also had no background in sports. 00:02:25.199 --> 00:02:29.360 Her family are like musicians, and so she didn't know anything about sports or whatever. 00:02:29.520 --> 00:02:44.719 And uh what was really cool about uh my wife is she just sort of entered in that with me, and so um she came to my games and and um uh would ask questions, got curious about the rules and all of this, and so I so then that sort of inspired me to reciprocate with pageants, okay? 00:02:44.800 --> 00:02:51.280 And so I was like, okay, uh tell me about these pageants because to me, and I told her at the gate, like I want to support you, but I don't I don't get it. 00:02:51.439 --> 00:02:58.159 Like I don't understand like why a bunch of women would want to put on makeup and and gowns and like walk across and get judged. 00:02:58.319 --> 00:03:00.400 And she's like, Well, Greg, people are judging you anyway. 00:03:00.479 --> 00:03:01.360 You might as well get a score. 00:03:01.439 --> 00:03:02.719 You know what I'm saying? 00:03:03.599 --> 00:03:05.039 I was like, that's a word. 00:03:05.199 --> 00:03:09.599 Um and she's like, uh she's like, well, uh, she said, Greg, come on. 00:03:09.759 --> 00:03:11.120 I said, Well, what's the utility? 00:03:11.280 --> 00:03:12.159 Like, I don't get the point. 00:03:12.319 --> 00:03:20.479 She's like, Well, hold on a second, before we get into that, she's like, when I met you, you were running around a field with a helmet knocking people over. 00:03:20.719 --> 00:03:22.639 She's like, What's the point of that? 00:03:23.120 --> 00:03:24.879 I was like, touche, touche. 00:03:25.280 --> 00:03:27.360 She's like, and don't get me going on golf. 00:03:27.599 --> 00:03:27.919 All right. 00:03:28.159 --> 00:03:29.039 It's like, all right, all right. 00:03:29.199 --> 00:03:30.400 She said, No, why'd you do it? 00:03:30.560 --> 00:03:34.800 I said, Well, I did it because it's a you know, sports are a microcosm of life. 00:03:34.960 --> 00:03:41.360 You gotta learn how to get up when you get knocked down, you gotta learn how to rebound from a loss, you gotta learn how to be a teammate. 00:03:41.599 --> 00:03:45.280 Uh, even when you don't like your teammates, sometimes you gotta have each other's back. 00:03:45.439 --> 00:03:49.759 Uh, you know, you come up with a plan, you set a goal, uh, you earn your own respect. 00:03:49.840 --> 00:03:53.360 You know, I was just going through this whole thing, and she's like, yeah, she's like, it's similar, actually. 00:03:53.520 --> 00:04:05.280 She said, you know how scary it is, you know, to get up and to stand, you know, public speakings, getting up in front of people, everybody's looking at you, and to go represent yourself and to represent your city and your family, and and to get up. 00:04:05.360 --> 00:04:09.759 If somebody asks you a question, puts you on the spot, and for you to like, you know, be able to answer it. 00:04:09.840 --> 00:04:23.360 And she's talking through, she's like, you know, I've got some, she's telling me about her friends, like one of them was um, you know, really struggled with their physical health, and and so she went through this whole process of getting healthy and actually getting healthy in every way, emotionally and spiritually, and getting to a good spot. 00:04:23.519 --> 00:04:27.519 And she said she didn't even win, but she came away feeling like she had totally won. 00:04:27.680 --> 00:04:29.439 Just because she embraced her fear. 00:04:29.519 --> 00:04:32.399 She she she stood on that stage flat-hooted and did her thing. 00:04:32.480 --> 00:04:35.279 And by the end of it, I was like, man, I like pageants now, you know. 00:04:35.360 --> 00:04:38.399 I'm going, I'm I'm gonna go, I'm gonna, you know, be a main cheerleader. 00:04:38.480 --> 00:04:43.519 So anyway, I start going to these pageants, and you know, my wife is uh she's won a bunch of pageants. 00:04:43.680 --> 00:04:50.720 I haven't really talked much about this, but my wife won the state of Ohio, then she won the uh you know the country of America, and then she went and won the globe. 00:04:50.800 --> 00:04:51.680 Okay, she's like Mrs. 00:04:51.839 --> 00:04:52.399 World. 00:04:52.560 --> 00:04:57.680 So um, so now we go to these, we're we're in, now she's giving giving up these titles to other people. 00:04:57.759 --> 00:05:00.720 So we're like in I'm in Vegas more right now than Wayne Newton. 00:05:01.040 --> 00:05:01.519 All right. 00:05:01.759 --> 00:05:04.480 Wayne Newton's like, dude, go home, all right, go home. 00:05:04.639 --> 00:05:14.480 Um I I'm in Vegas all the time now, we're doing this, and I was just this past week, we were at the America, and um this lady that that won uh American, uh Mrs. 00:05:14.720 --> 00:05:17.680 American, uh, she's from New Jersey, okay? 00:05:17.839 --> 00:05:35.199 And it's it's the most incredible dichotomy because you see all of these women come out, they all have their makeup on, they already like at their best, and and so if you just saw them at a restaurant or you passed them on the street or something, you would make assumptions, but then you start hearing, okay, what's behind the makeup. 00:05:35.360 --> 00:05:37.519 You start hearing the lives that they've lived. 00:05:37.600 --> 00:05:44.879 And this woman from New Jersey stands there and she she's telling her story from the moment she was born until she turned 18. 00:05:45.120 --> 00:05:49.680 She was in foster care and she was displaced over 100 times. 00:05:50.560 --> 00:05:51.680 Over 100 times. 00:05:51.839 --> 00:05:53.360 I wouldn't, you know, you would never know. 00:05:53.519 --> 00:05:57.040 She had it all together, and yet you would never know what was behind the makeup. 00:05:57.120 --> 00:06:00.399 She said, I I was I was displaced over a hundred times. 00:06:00.560 --> 00:06:04.879 She said, even in this moment, I look around and I see everybody's got their families cheering. 00:06:05.120 --> 00:06:12.879 But my mom was an addict, my dad was never in the picture, I had no family, and even to this moment, I'm still healing, I'm still working my way through it. 00:06:13.040 --> 00:06:20.959 And and so she talked about her pain, but then she stood there, I mean, looked right down the gun barrel, and she told this, this is what I'm gonna do with my pain. 00:06:21.120 --> 00:06:34.720 This is what I'm gonna do with my background, this is what I'm gonna do with my life, whether whether you call me a queen or not, what I'm going to do with this is I'm going to find people like me, and I'm gonna help them out, and this is what I'm doing, this is what's already in motion. 00:06:34.800 --> 00:06:36.480 And I found myself so inspired. 00:06:36.560 --> 00:06:42.000 I I was sitting there thinking, man, like I was just trying to imagine being displaced a hundred times. 00:06:42.319 --> 00:06:44.319 I was like, I couldn't stop thinking about that. 00:06:44.480 --> 00:06:45.600 That's disorienting. 00:06:45.680 --> 00:06:48.399 I mean, you you can say that quickly and move past, like, wow, that's a lot. 00:06:48.480 --> 00:06:50.079 I was like, you know, think about that. 00:06:51.040 --> 00:06:53.199 Ten times would be a lot. 00:06:53.759 --> 00:06:55.199 A hundred times? 00:06:56.079 --> 00:07:00.160 You know, we're in a series right now and we're we're calling it well done. 00:07:00.800 --> 00:07:01.360 Well done. 00:07:01.439 --> 00:07:05.680 And we're taking it from the words of Jesus, you know, who said, Well, well done. 00:07:05.839 --> 00:07:08.000 Well done, good and faithful servant. 00:07:08.560 --> 00:07:12.959 And we want to live lives that are well done, but how do you do that? 00:07:13.199 --> 00:07:14.079 How do you do that? 00:07:14.240 --> 00:07:20.480 Last week we talked about part of a well-done life is learning learning how to manage your stress. 00:07:20.720 --> 00:07:26.480 Stress is a biological thing that happens uh when there's a threat, and so everybody has stress. 00:07:26.560 --> 00:07:27.600 How do you deal with it? 00:07:27.839 --> 00:07:35.920 This week I want to talk to you about living well and dealing well with your pain, overcoming your pain. 00:07:36.240 --> 00:07:37.839 What are you gonna do with your pain? 00:07:38.079 --> 00:07:40.079 Pain doesn't skip over anybody. 00:07:40.319 --> 00:07:47.439 Doesn't matter how much money you have, doesn't matter how much power you have, doesn't matter where you were born, what family you were born into. 00:07:47.759 --> 00:07:50.720 Uh pain is no respecter of persons. 00:07:50.879 --> 00:07:53.439 Nobody gets a pass on pain. 00:07:53.519 --> 00:07:55.040 Everybody's got to deal with it. 00:07:55.199 --> 00:08:03.680 And what I want to talk to you today is about overcoming pain and the work that pain can do in your life. 00:08:03.920 --> 00:08:05.279 I'm gonna do three things today. 00:08:05.360 --> 00:08:06.639 One is talk about overcoming pain. 00:08:06.720 --> 00:08:10.639 Two, I want to talk you through, teach you through how to pray through your pain. 00:08:10.879 --> 00:08:16.480 And then the third thing is I want to give you a moment right here, right now, to allow God to enter with you into your pain. 00:08:16.639 --> 00:08:17.199 Alright? 00:08:17.439 --> 00:08:25.360 Um, as a Christian, you you cannot expect to have a less pain or a painless life. 00:08:25.680 --> 00:08:31.519 We know that because uh the Bible says that God did not spare even his own son. 00:08:32.559 --> 00:08:43.039 Uh Jesus himself assured us, he it seems like he was trying to close the expectation gap, because he said, Hey, in this life you will have pain, but take heart. 00:08:43.279 --> 00:08:45.279 He says, I've overcome the world. 00:08:45.360 --> 00:08:49.279 Like you can overcome it, but you need to expect to have it. 00:08:49.440 --> 00:08:58.399 In Luke chapter 9, verse 23, uh he said to a crowd of people, he said, if anybody wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way. 00:08:58.960 --> 00:09:04.240 You you must be uh cut bait on your plan, give up your own way. 00:09:04.399 --> 00:09:08.080 And then he said, Take up your cross daily and follow me. 00:09:08.480 --> 00:09:14.879 You need to understand the difference between what we hear or see when we hear and see a cross and what they did. 00:09:15.120 --> 00:09:16.480 Because this is Luke 9. 00:09:16.559 --> 00:09:19.440 So context is Jesus hadn't gone to the cross yet. 00:09:19.600 --> 00:09:26.399 When we see a golden cross or a cross as a decoration on a wall, we see an emblem of victory. 00:09:26.559 --> 00:09:27.440 That's what we see. 00:09:27.600 --> 00:09:28.879 We see the resurrection. 00:09:29.039 --> 00:09:33.200 Jesus died, he resurrected, so we see the power of God in action. 00:09:33.360 --> 00:09:40.000 In Luke chapter 9, to people that lived in a Roman world, they didn't see victory, they saw defeat, they saw pain. 00:09:40.240 --> 00:09:47.519 In fact, the crucifixion was uh capital punishment, but it was a specific kind of capital punishment. 00:09:47.679 --> 00:09:52.480 It wasn't just we want to put you to death, it's when we want to humiliate you, we want to put you to shame. 00:09:52.799 --> 00:09:55.840 This was what they gave to people who they wanted to discourage. 00:09:55.919 --> 00:10:01.440 Uh usually, again, people who were revolutionaries or who might form a coup and try to overthrow the government. 00:10:01.600 --> 00:10:04.399 And so what they would want to do is humiliate you publicly. 00:10:04.559 --> 00:10:10.720 So anybody who had a thought of maybe doing what you did looked at you and said, Nah, no thanks, I'm not gonna do that. 00:10:10.799 --> 00:10:14.000 It's going to be a crime deterrent, essentially, is what it was. 00:10:14.159 --> 00:10:19.519 And so before they hung you on the cross, they hung the cross on you and you had to carry it. 00:10:19.600 --> 00:10:21.519 Uh, nobody volunteered for this. 00:10:21.679 --> 00:10:31.440 This was uh the thing you were most afraid of and had to take up, but Jesus uses it metaphorically as an emblem, uh as a concept of pain. 00:10:31.600 --> 00:10:33.279 And he said, You got to take it up. 00:10:33.440 --> 00:10:36.720 You have to voluntarily embrace your pain, you've got to walk into it. 00:10:36.799 --> 00:10:40.960 He said, Take up your cross daily and follow me. 00:10:41.279 --> 00:10:43.039 And so I want to look at this. 00:10:43.120 --> 00:10:43.919 What does it mean? 00:10:44.000 --> 00:10:44.799 And how do we do that? 00:10:44.879 --> 00:10:48.399 How do we take on our pain in a healthy way so we can live well? 00:10:48.639 --> 00:10:52.000 I want you to start thinking about like what is your cross to bear? 00:10:52.240 --> 00:10:53.519 What is your cross to bear? 00:10:53.600 --> 00:10:54.240 What does that mean? 00:10:54.320 --> 00:11:05.840 For some of you, that might uh your cross to bear might be the results that have started to play out in your life based on a self-inflicted wound, something you did for one reason or another. 00:11:05.919 --> 00:11:13.039 Uh you maybe became short-sighted, you made a call, you made a decision out of weakness, you can't go undo it, you can't go back. 00:11:13.279 --> 00:11:14.320 Have you ever had that feeling? 00:11:14.399 --> 00:11:16.720 You think, man, I'd like to go back to two weeks ago. 00:11:16.879 --> 00:11:20.720 Oh man, if I could just rewind time a little bit, if I could do this differently. 00:11:20.799 --> 00:11:24.320 But that's one of the hard, cruel facts of life is I can't go back. 00:11:24.399 --> 00:11:31.600 For so for some of you, the cross you have to bear is a fallout from decisions you've made. 00:11:31.919 --> 00:11:37.039 For others, maybe it's something that, like the crosses in the Roman world, were put on you. 00:11:37.200 --> 00:11:40.720 Like, I didn't ask for this, I just woke up, now I'm carrying this. 00:11:41.039 --> 00:11:54.320 And so it might be a deep emotional wound, it might be a betrayal, it might be a broken relationship, um, it might be, it might be a disease that you've got to carry in your body or the suffering of somebody you care about that you can't do anything about. 00:11:54.480 --> 00:11:56.480 Okay, what is the cross you have to bear? 00:11:56.639 --> 00:11:59.200 This is the the symbol Jesus uses. 00:11:59.360 --> 00:12:05.039 I want to kind of talk our way through this, and I'm uh I want to um do something I've never done before. 00:12:05.200 --> 00:12:08.480 I'm going to teach a chapter of the Bible backwards, all right? 00:12:08.639 --> 00:12:10.320 Not like this, but you know, you know what I'm saying? 00:12:10.399 --> 00:12:15.200 Like I'm I'm gonna, instead of going uh uh bottom to top, I'm gonna go top to bottom. 00:12:15.279 --> 00:12:21.440 So I'm I'm gonna start this is uh 2 Corinthians 12, uh chapter 12, and I'm gonna go backwards. 00:12:21.600 --> 00:12:22.080 All right. 00:12:22.320 --> 00:12:25.519 Um 2 Corinthians was written by the Apostle Paul. 00:12:25.679 --> 00:12:27.519 Uh we have a lot of evidence in the scripture. 00:12:27.679 --> 00:12:36.159 He probably wrote three books, three letters to the Corinthians, but we have two of them that show up in the New Testament, make their way into the canon of Scripture. 00:12:36.320 --> 00:12:39.840 He wrote 2 Corinthians about AD 55. 00:12:40.159 --> 00:12:42.399 So he he he knew them pretty well. 00:12:42.639 --> 00:12:47.279 And uh the Corinthians were a group of people who were actually successful people. 00:12:47.440 --> 00:12:55.279 Um, they were successful in their business and and and in their careers and professions, but at the same time they were successful over here. 00:12:55.519 --> 00:13:02.320 They had a high degree of immaturity as it came to both their faith and and the way they looked at life. 00:13:02.559 --> 00:13:05.039 And so you you see this sometimes, okay? 00:13:05.200 --> 00:13:11.279 You see this, people that like really have it figured out over here, and yet over here life is a mess. 00:13:11.360 --> 00:13:19.279 And so the apostle Paul, who cares about them a lot, is trying to bring them along in terms of the development of their character and who they are. 00:13:19.440 --> 00:13:24.480 So he writes uh them multiple uh letters and trying to help them out. 00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:28.639 And so uh I want to start in 2 Corinthians chapter 12. 00:13:28.879 --> 00:13:31.919 We're gonna go chapter 12, chapter 7, chapter 4. 00:13:32.159 --> 00:13:33.360 12, 7, 4. 00:13:33.600 --> 00:13:42.000 Chapter 12, Paul sort of picks up uh with a different metaphor, but the same concept Jesus did when he said, take up your pain, take up your cross. 00:13:42.240 --> 00:13:44.000 Paul does it with a different metaphor. 00:13:44.080 --> 00:13:45.919 He talks about a thorn in the flesh. 00:13:46.080 --> 00:13:50.240 Okay, so he says, hey, he goes, My life was going so good in certain areas. 00:13:50.399 --> 00:13:51.840 He goes, it almost felt divine. 00:13:52.000 --> 00:13:55.279 He goes, I almost felt, I almost felt like I was seeing into heaven. 00:13:55.360 --> 00:13:57.360 He's like, I mean, that's how great it was over here. 00:13:57.519 --> 00:14:03.360 But at the same time I had this going really great over here, he said, over here, I was in so much pain. 00:14:03.519 --> 00:14:06.720 And so it was this um this sort of dichotomy. 00:14:06.879 --> 00:14:08.480 And so he he says, here's what happened. 00:14:08.559 --> 00:14:10.480 He goes, three different times. 00:14:10.799 --> 00:14:13.279 I begged the Lord to take it away. 00:14:14.080 --> 00:14:21.679 If you've ever been in the position where you had to beg anybody for anything, you know how humiliating that is. 00:14:22.240 --> 00:14:23.200 Have to beg. 00:14:23.919 --> 00:14:32.559 Have to beg for a job, have to beg for money, have to beg for help, have to beg somebody to take you back. 00:14:33.360 --> 00:14:35.600 Have to beg for forgiveness. 00:14:36.799 --> 00:14:47.679 And so Paul had such a hard time begging that even though he was in tons of pain, he could only manage to beg God three times. 00:14:48.000 --> 00:14:52.320 He said, Three times I came, I beg God, would you take away my pain? 00:14:52.480 --> 00:14:58.320 And he said, each time he said to him, My grace is all you need, my power works best in weakness. 00:14:58.480 --> 00:15:04.799 It's not that God was inflicting pain upon Paul, but he allowed the pain to remain there because he was doing a work. 00:15:04.960 --> 00:15:06.080 There, there is a work. 00:15:06.240 --> 00:15:07.519 We have to understand this. 00:15:08.159 --> 00:15:13.919 God doesn't go around necessarily inflicting pain on people, but life has pain in it. 00:15:14.159 --> 00:15:29.840 And instead of God going around pulling out every splinter or removing every difficult situation or every cross, God will use in this fallen world and the challenging lives we live in, the pain that will come upon us to do a work that only pain can do. 00:15:30.000 --> 00:15:32.080 And he said, I finally figured that out. 00:15:32.159 --> 00:15:39.519 That there were some things I couldn't learn in a classroom, there were some things I couldn't learn secondhand, there are things I couldn't learn from a book or a story or a fable. 00:15:39.679 --> 00:15:41.360 He said, I had to live it myself. 00:15:41.440 --> 00:15:46.000 And he said that there's some things that there's a dimension of power that works best in weakness. 00:15:46.159 --> 00:15:52.159 He said, So once I figured that out, now I'm glad to boast about my weaknesses so that the power of Christ can work through me. 00:15:52.320 --> 00:16:05.279 That's why he said I take pleasure in my weaknesses and insults and when people insult me or hardships or persecution, thing I didn't deserve, trouble when I suffer for Christ, for when I'm weak, then I'm strong. 00:16:06.080 --> 00:16:11.519 Friend, I want to tell you, your pain is transforming into something. 00:16:12.559 --> 00:16:16.960 Your pain is about to be transformed into something. 00:16:17.679 --> 00:16:19.200 Don't fool yourself. 00:16:19.759 --> 00:16:25.360 When you're in pain, it's going to morph, it's going to become something. 00:16:25.600 --> 00:16:29.200 And I would encourage you not to just let it happen to you. 00:16:30.080 --> 00:16:37.039 I would encourage you, no matter how much pain you're in, to not stick your head in the sand and just go, let's see where this goes. 00:16:37.919 --> 00:16:45.039 At some point, proactively, you have to realize with wisdom that pain will transform. 00:16:45.279 --> 00:16:47.519 It's going to become one thing or the other. 00:16:47.759 --> 00:16:50.320 This is why when you're in pain, you do have this sense. 00:16:50.399 --> 00:16:55.679 And sometimes it hits you in your self-doubt and your insecurity going, is this going to ruin my life? 00:16:56.639 --> 00:16:57.279 It could. 00:16:57.919 --> 00:16:59.279 It absolutely could. 00:16:59.679 --> 00:17:01.039 So it could go either way. 00:17:01.279 --> 00:17:05.680 It could actually cause you to cascade, it could take you the wrong direction. 00:17:05.759 --> 00:17:08.880 It could cause you to revert to who you used to be. 00:17:08.960 --> 00:17:10.079 That is an option. 00:17:10.240 --> 00:17:11.599 You can go backwards. 00:17:11.759 --> 00:17:13.039 Or you can go forwards. 00:17:13.279 --> 00:17:16.079 In many ways, the same situation could take you one way or the other. 00:17:16.240 --> 00:17:25.920 I would encourage you, even when pain is at its fever pitch, for you to make the decision, I will not allow this to reduce me. 00:17:26.240 --> 00:17:30.240 I will not allow this to take me in reverse and to go backward. 00:17:30.400 --> 00:17:35.119 See, because when you're in pain, here's what happens things start to come out that surprise you. 00:17:35.920 --> 00:17:39.440 Pain causes things to come out, to be revealed. 00:17:39.839 --> 00:17:43.359 Sometimes the thing that comes out, you're like, ooh, I didn't know that was in there. 00:17:44.079 --> 00:17:48.319 I didn't know I didn't know I still had that much immaturity inside me. 00:17:48.559 --> 00:17:50.799 I didn't realize I could be that petty. 00:17:50.960 --> 00:17:58.799 I didn't realize I could like sometimes there is something ugly that comes out of you that you didn't know was in there, and the pain sussed it out. 00:17:58.960 --> 00:18:01.119 Boom, there it is, and you're confronted with it. 00:18:01.440 --> 00:18:03.119 You know, sometimes it's the other. 00:18:03.279 --> 00:18:07.119 Sometimes you go through pain, something comes out, you're like, I didn't know I was that strong. 00:18:07.440 --> 00:18:08.880 I didn't know I could come back like that. 00:18:08.960 --> 00:18:10.720 I didn't know I could stand my ground like that. 00:18:10.880 --> 00:18:12.880 I didn't know I had that in me. 00:18:13.200 --> 00:18:21.359 But pain revealed some of the character building and the strength and the fortitude that that's come in, that's been in your life the whole time, and yet pain brought it out. 00:18:21.519 --> 00:18:24.480 And yet, let's be honest, sometimes both come out. 00:18:24.799 --> 00:18:34.400 Sometimes the same situation reveals some ugly stuff and some pretty stuff, some weak stuff and some strong stuff, and it's all coming out together. 00:18:34.559 --> 00:18:45.039 And some of it is things that are already there, but understand this pain is a transformational agent, and it can either develop you or it can take you down. 00:18:45.200 --> 00:18:48.799 And so you have to understand some of this is changing, it's it's morphing right now. 00:18:48.880 --> 00:18:53.119 I'm I'm I'm a dynamic character, I'm changing throughout life. 00:18:53.200 --> 00:18:54.400 There's some transformation. 00:18:54.559 --> 00:19:04.400 So I encourage you to be proactive, to be proactive with that change and to say, you know what, what no matter how bad this hurts, I'm going to allow this to transform for good. 00:19:04.559 --> 00:19:14.319 The thing I love about the thorn in the flesh, and Paul talking about, you know, I kept asking God to take it away, and for one reason or another, God decided to leave it in. 00:19:14.559 --> 00:19:18.880 He decided to allow the pain to be there. 00:19:19.440 --> 00:19:22.400 Um I can relate to that. 00:19:23.039 --> 00:19:25.920 I've shared a little bit of our family story with you. 00:19:26.000 --> 00:19:30.240 Uh, those of you that come to the church, uh, some of you know uh a little bit about our family. 00:19:30.319 --> 00:19:34.000 We have three kids, both of our sons are on the autism spectrum. 00:19:34.240 --> 00:19:41.599 And that was that's been a painful, challenging journey with both beautiful things and then sometimes really, really, really hard things. 00:19:41.839 --> 00:19:45.519 And and it's a it's something I found myself in the same place Paul did. 00:19:45.680 --> 00:19:51.920 I'm begging God to change it, begging God to take the pain away, begging God to do a miracle and just fix it. 00:19:52.160 --> 00:19:53.200 And he didn't. 00:19:53.359 --> 00:19:59.200 And so I've had to come to grips with that, and I've had to wrestle through it and decide what am I gonna do with this? 00:19:59.519 --> 00:20:03.839 Am I going to allow it to harden my heart, make me angry, leave me angry? 00:20:04.079 --> 00:20:06.079 Is it be debilitating? 00:20:06.319 --> 00:20:07.519 What am I gonna do? 00:20:07.839 --> 00:20:15.279 Last summer I took some time off, I took about four weeks off and trying to just recuperate, rest, and get get some help. 00:20:15.359 --> 00:20:19.759 So I began speaking with a counselor about my my my pain. 00:20:20.079 --> 00:20:41.440 And uh through the process of sort of just working it out, talking it through, I realized that some of the pain for me was what Paul said, where it was um I felt very weak, I felt very frustrated in the fact that you know, two of the people I love the most in the world had an impediment in their life I couldn't remove, I couldn't get it out, and God wasn't removing even though I begged him to. 00:20:41.599 --> 00:20:44.240 And so I was kind of working through some anger toward God. 00:20:44.400 --> 00:20:49.279 I was working a little bit even in my own, like, what am I personally so upset about? 00:20:49.440 --> 00:20:58.400 And what I realized is that this was the one area in my life that I was dealing with pain that I was unable to remove. 00:20:59.119 --> 00:21:05.200 For example, if I've got a problem in my life, a pain point, I'm empowered in most every area to deal with it. 00:21:05.359 --> 00:21:09.359 So if I got a painful person in my life, I deal with them. 00:21:09.519 --> 00:21:10.400 I go talk to them. 00:21:10.559 --> 00:21:11.839 Hey, we gotta figure this out. 00:21:12.000 --> 00:21:14.799 If we can't figure this out, then I'll cut them out. 00:21:14.960 --> 00:21:16.799 Frankly, I'll put up a boundary. 00:21:16.880 --> 00:21:18.480 I can walk away like nobody's business. 00:21:18.559 --> 00:21:25.519 If you're just you're gonna try to bring toxicity and dysfunction, I can, I can, I can I can go this way and put up a put up a boundary. 00:21:25.599 --> 00:21:33.519 So, so like whether it was a person or a situation, even organizationally, something's broken, I'm empowered to go in and fix it and work on it. 00:21:33.599 --> 00:21:37.119 And now here I've got this issue that hit as close to home as you can. 00:21:37.359 --> 00:21:43.759 My children, and I can't get it out because I'm not gonna quit on them, but this thing's not quitting on them either. 00:21:43.920 --> 00:21:47.519 We have to, I gotta figure out how to coexist with this thorn in my flesh. 00:21:47.680 --> 00:21:56.880 And so here I am dealing with this pain, and yet in that journey, I had to decide what I am going to do, and I had to predetermine, I'm going to give this pain to God. 00:21:57.039 --> 00:21:59.200 I'm not going to pretend like it's not there. 00:21:59.279 --> 00:22:01.440 I'm not Gonna act like it's not, right? 00:22:01.599 --> 00:22:03.279 That's the thing about pain, by the way. 00:22:04.799 --> 00:22:07.920 You can be in denial, but you know it's there. 00:22:08.240 --> 00:22:09.359 You know it's there. 00:22:09.599 --> 00:22:13.680 Like I've seen people confused as to whether or not they were in love. 00:22:14.400 --> 00:22:18.079 But I've never seen anybody confused as to whether or not they were in pain. 00:22:18.400 --> 00:22:20.640 It's about the realest thing that you can have. 00:22:20.720 --> 00:22:26.640 But you can deny it, but if you dig into that a little bit, the reason you're denying it is because it's painful to admit that you're weak. 00:22:26.799 --> 00:22:33.519 It's more painful to admit that you're weak to yourself or the people around you to perceive you as weak than it is to actually deal with the pain itself. 00:22:33.599 --> 00:22:37.440 So you allow the pain, you try to ignore the pain, but you know it's there. 00:22:38.000 --> 00:22:39.519 You know it's there, it's in there. 00:22:39.599 --> 00:22:40.720 What are you gonna deal with it? 00:22:40.880 --> 00:22:42.319 What are you gonna do about it? 00:22:42.559 --> 00:22:44.240 And this is the thing. 00:22:44.559 --> 00:22:48.559 If you refuse to deal with it, it will come out. 00:22:49.279 --> 00:22:50.160 It will come out. 00:22:50.319 --> 00:22:55.920 Pain that is not transformed by you and God will be transferred by you to other people. 00:22:56.960 --> 00:22:58.960 Pain, I'm gonna say it again. 00:22:59.200 --> 00:23:12.799 Pain that is not transformed by you and God, working together collaboratively, pain that is not transformed by you and God will be transferred by you to other people. 00:23:13.839 --> 00:23:31.440 And so I had to decide: do I want to try to be strong and deny that the pain's there, or do I want to go into the pain and deal with it and let it produce the thing that it needs to produce in my life and to show me the things I need to see and ultimately to get to a better place. 00:23:31.839 --> 00:23:40.160 Otherwise, it spills over onto other people, usually the people that are closest to you, the people you least want to hurt. 00:23:40.480 --> 00:23:42.079 Often it ends up there. 00:23:42.319 --> 00:23:44.400 Which then, okay, let's keep preaching backwards. 00:23:44.480 --> 00:23:47.759 We were in 2 Corinthians 12, let's go to 2 Corinthians 7. 00:23:47.920 --> 00:23:50.720 Paul talks about dealing with a different kind of pain. 00:23:50.799 --> 00:24:02.480 And he he says in verse 8, he says, I'm not sorry that I sent you that severe, uh, the severe letter to you, although I was sorry at first, for I know it was painful to you for a little while. 00:24:02.799 --> 00:24:10.960 Now I'm glad I sent it, not because it hurt you, but because the pain caused you to repent and change your ways. 00:24:11.440 --> 00:24:29.200 What Paul is saying here is this hey, you did something, you you had a self-inflicted wound, you were doing something that was causing pain, and sometimes when you're in pain, you become so myopic and short-sighted that if you don't deal with it, it creates more pain. 00:24:29.839 --> 00:24:40.960 So Paul intervenes with a conflict and confronts them on it in hopes that the pain that he inflicted would be disorienting enough, it would bring them to their senses. 00:24:41.519 --> 00:24:56.240 If you've ever been in a position where someone you loved who was a grown-up was complicating their life with poor decisions, and you're going, man, to have the tough conversation is going to hurt them. 00:24:56.480 --> 00:24:59.279 It's gonna, it's gonna wound them in a sense. 00:24:59.519 --> 00:25:06.079 And so you're trying to figure out, like, man, if I if I come in in the wrong way, I might push them in the wrong direction. 00:25:06.240 --> 00:25:08.400 And so you find yourself walking on eggshells. 00:25:08.480 --> 00:25:09.119 How do I do this? 00:25:09.200 --> 00:25:10.319 But but you gotta decide. 00:25:10.400 --> 00:25:14.079 Some people don't want to, they don't want to take that risk, so they avoid it altogether. 00:25:14.240 --> 00:25:16.079 But Paul said, no, I'm not gonna do that. 00:25:16.240 --> 00:25:24.960 I play a role in the Corinthians' lives, I love them enough, I'm gonna come in with the confrontation, with a conflict, and I'm gonna bring it right to them. 00:25:25.279 --> 00:25:26.640 And so he so he did. 00:25:26.880 --> 00:25:29.440 And um, I just want to encourage you today, by the way. 00:25:29.519 --> 00:25:38.160 So some of you maybe are here and you personally are in a season where you've made some mistakes and you've had some people say some things to you that you didn't want to hear. 00:25:38.319 --> 00:25:49.599 Uh I I just want to say this, and here, I don't got any, I have nobody in mind, so I'm uh but I'm just gonna I've seen enough to know that that sometimes the people who are helping you the most are causing pain. 00:25:50.079 --> 00:25:54.000 And not everybody who tells you something you don't want to hear is a hater. 00:25:55.759 --> 00:25:58.400 That's kind of a popular uh cultural state. 00:25:58.640 --> 00:26:00.000 Hey, you know, shake the haters off. 00:26:00.079 --> 00:26:02.079 You know, shake the hater's gonna hate, man. 00:26:02.240 --> 00:26:03.119 Don't ever listen to that. 00:26:03.200 --> 00:26:07.680 Hey, sometimes the people who are causing you pain are actually the ones telling you the truth. 00:26:07.920 --> 00:26:12.160 They're the ones telling, yeah, I know you don't want to hear it, but but that's the truth they're trying to tell you. 00:26:12.240 --> 00:26:22.079 They're trying to help you from going from one painful decision to making other short-sighted bad decisions to actually exponentially bring more pain in your life. 00:26:22.240 --> 00:26:23.759 They're trying to keep you from pain. 00:26:23.839 --> 00:26:28.400 But I gotta, it's gotta hurt for a minute so that you're disoriented enough to come to your senses. 00:26:28.559 --> 00:26:36.240 But by the way, Jesus uses this language when he tells the story of the prodigal son, who who has a cascading group of bad decisions. 00:26:36.319 --> 00:26:44.720 And it says when he hit rock bottom, he was in so much pain, the Bible says, that he finally came to his senses. 00:26:45.279 --> 00:26:46.720 It took pain. 00:26:46.960 --> 00:26:53.279 I've seen people, by the way, who thought they were at rock bottom only to find out that a few more bad decisions took them a little lower. 00:26:53.519 --> 00:27:03.680 And so often the people in your life who care enough about you to speak life to you, to actually speak truth to you, don't just reject it because it's abrasive. 00:27:03.759 --> 00:27:05.519 Don't just reject it because it hurts. 00:27:06.000 --> 00:27:11.920 Proverbs 27, 6 says, wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. 00:27:12.720 --> 00:27:14.799 Don't just hang out with people smooching on you. 00:27:14.880 --> 00:27:17.599 They start smooching, don't chase them around, let them smooch on you. 00:27:17.759 --> 00:27:20.640 Sometimes the the kisses are actually poison. 00:27:20.960 --> 00:27:24.400 It's the people who are telling you the truth often that will wound. 00:27:24.480 --> 00:27:28.559 And then if we go back to 2 Corinthians 7, okay, look, look what he says. 00:27:28.960 --> 00:27:32.079 He says, I'm glad I sent it, verse 9. 00:27:32.240 --> 00:27:37.599 Not because it hurt you, but because the pain caused you to repent and change your ways. 00:27:38.640 --> 00:27:42.640 He said, It's the kind of sorrow God wants his people to have. 00:27:43.200 --> 00:27:51.920 So you're not harmed by us in any way, for the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. 00:27:53.839 --> 00:27:55.599 Let's go to verse or chapter 4. 00:27:55.680 --> 00:27:57.440 So we went 12, 7, 4. 00:27:58.000 --> 00:28:01.519 Chapter 4, he talks about pain in a specific way. 00:28:01.599 --> 00:28:06.160 He says in verse 17, he said, Our present troubles are small and won't last very long. 00:28:06.319 --> 00:28:11.680 Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever. 00:28:14.079 --> 00:28:26.400 If you've been in pain for an extended period of time and it feels like the weight of the world is on you, it would be easy to take exception with verse 17 when he said that the troubles are small and won't last very long. 00:28:26.640 --> 00:28:31.200 I can almost feel some of us going, that's easy for you to say, Paul. 00:28:31.279 --> 00:28:33.279 It feels like I've dealt with it forever. 00:28:33.519 --> 00:28:37.200 And you, it's so heavy, I feel like I can't even carry it anymore. 00:28:37.440 --> 00:28:49.759 And yet he's not saying this to be condescending, he's not saying this to minimize the amount of pain that you're in or to um pretend like it hasn't been tough. 00:28:49.920 --> 00:29:01.920 What he's saying is actually setting up uh a scale, and he says, This pain, in comparison to what God can do with it, is small. 00:29:02.880 --> 00:29:06.799 And he said, if you'll if you'll give it to God, it's transforming into something. 00:29:06.960 --> 00:29:16.960 If you'll let God transform it into what he wants to transform it into, it will tip the scale, it will be heavier, and it will last longer. 00:29:17.359 --> 00:29:21.839 Your pain will not last as long as whatever it produces. 00:29:22.880 --> 00:29:27.759 During the pandemic, I was I was reading, uh actually listening to a book by T.D. 00:29:28.000 --> 00:29:31.519 Jakes called Crushed, and he talked about his story. 00:29:31.599 --> 00:29:37.519 He said when he was 10 years old, his father uh had cancer and was on dialysis. 00:29:37.839 --> 00:29:40.559 So from the age of 10 to the age of 16, T.D. 00:29:40.720 --> 00:29:47.839 Jakes learned how to run a dialysis machine to nurse his father, keep him alive for six years. 00:29:48.079 --> 00:29:52.960 He said, I didn't know how to ride a bike at 10, but I knew how to run a dialysis machine. 00:29:53.279 --> 00:29:56.240 And he talked about the crushing experience and how painful it was. 00:29:56.319 --> 00:30:03.119 And he said, but the reality is at 16, when my dad passed away, I was in so much pain, I felt so incredibly crushed. 00:30:03.359 --> 00:30:14.799 He said, But what was produced through that period was actually set him on the course of what he's doing today: writing, leading, teaching, speaking, studying, um, being a shepherd and a pastor and a leader. 00:30:14.880 --> 00:30:22.240 And so the fruit that's come from his life was born in being 16 years old, losing his hero. 00:30:22.960 --> 00:30:26.480 Six years of caretaking from 10 to 16. 00:30:26.720 --> 00:30:29.200 And he uses the analogy of a grape. 00:30:29.839 --> 00:30:35.759 He said, if you have a grape, you leave a grape alone, it has a very short lifespan. 00:30:36.000 --> 00:30:40.640 It basically rots in a few weeks and dies. 00:30:41.599 --> 00:30:56.400 He said, but if you take that same grape and you crush it and you you stomp on it, and you put it through a wine press and you take it through a journey, you you crush it and then it ferments, and then it lasts for hundreds of years as wine. 00:30:56.880 --> 00:30:58.559 Hundreds of years. 00:30:59.359 --> 00:31:05.680 And in some ways, that it made me think about 2 Corinthians 4 is saying, hey, this weighs more than this. 00:31:06.000 --> 00:31:08.000 This will outlast this. 00:31:08.160 --> 00:31:10.880 It's heavier, it'll do more. 00:31:11.119 --> 00:31:16.079 And so I encourage you today, no matter how much pain you're in, to make a decision. 00:31:16.240 --> 00:31:20.319