The Prayer Every Woman Should Pray Before Her Next Chapter - Shari Rigby & Sandra Stanley

In this heartfelt Called As Creatives conversation, Sandra Stanley shares the wisdom she's gained through decades of ministry, motherhood, leadership, writing, and foster care advocacy. From co-founding North Point Ministries alongside her husband Andy Stanley to raising three children and opening her home to foster children, Sandra reflects on what it means to live a life of purpose through every season. She discusses the prayer that has guided her through major life transitions, how God often reveals our calling one step at a time, and why true success comes from living for an "audience of one." Whether you're navigating an empty nest, pursuing a new dream, or simply wondering what God has next for you, Sandra offers practical encouragement and timeless perspective.

We also dive into the realities of foster care, the importance of community support, maintaining spiritual disciplines during busy seasons, and why family-friendly, values-based entertainment matters now more than ever. Sandra shares honest stories about growth, sacrifice, and learning to trust God through uncertainty, while reminding us that not everyone is called to foster—but everyone can do something. This conversation is filled with wisdom for women seeking clarity, purpose, and faithfulness in their everyday lives.

Connect with THE WOMEN IN MY WORLD:
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Sandra Stanley: Instagram: / @sandrawstanley
North Point Ministries / Fostering Together
https://www.sandrastanley.com

Song: “Blessing in Disguise” 
Performed by: Carlie Conner
Written by: Carlie Conner, Maggie Youngs
Produced by: Nick Lewkowski

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:06

This podcast is a celebration of women who are shaping culture, influencing the world, and boldly stepping into the entertainment industry to create God-honoring content across all media platforms. I'm your host, Sherry Reapy. Grab your coffee, settle in, and join me for an inspiring ride. Hey everyone, welcome to The Women in My World Called As Creative. Today we have a very, very special guest. She is a woman whose life and leadership has impacted countless families, churches, and communities through both her words and her actions. Sandra Stanley is a Georgia native author and ministry leader who, alongside her husband Andy Stanley, co-founded North Point Ministries in 1995. With a background from Georgia Tech and masters from Dallas Theology Seminary, Sandra has spent decades investing in spiritual lives of others through teaching, writing, and leadership. She is the author of the beloved devotional books like Comparison Trap and Breathing Room and most recently co-authored Meet Me in the Middle with her daughter, Allie Stanley Cooney, a powerful invitation into honest, faith-filled conversations between generations. But beyond her writing, Sandra carries a deep passion for foster care. For over a decade, she and her family have opened their homes to foster children, and she continues to advocate for foster care through fostering together at North Point Ministries, helping mobilize the local church to care for vulnerable children. And as we recognize foster care awareness month, this conversation feels especially timely. So please, please, please welcome my guest, Sandra Stanley. Hi, Sandra. So good to see you. Thank you for having me, Sherry.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

I've been looking so forward to it.

SPEAKER_03 1:58

Absolutely. I feel like we were just mentioned this early on that here we were trying to do this about a year ago, but God's timing is always perfect. And I love that we are in a position right now that we get to actually talk about foster care in something that is so near and dear to your heart. And I know it's been such, it's been such a part of your family for so many years. So thank you for that. Well, I'm gonna dive in because I know we have a lot to talk about, and and there's so many things that I want our listeners to be alongside watching us today. But I want to, I want to dive in and ask really this first question about your journey and a little bit um how you, you know, share with us the journey and how has that taken you from Georgia Tech to Dallas Theology Seminarium at I would love to hear so much about that from co-founding North Point Ministries to writing and foster care advocacy. But um I'd like for you to just take us back a little bit, give us a little bit of that background and share a little bit about your journey.

SPEAKER_01 3:03

Sure, sure. It's funny, I didn't get my seminary degree until after my kids were launched. Okay. So I married Andy right out of college, and we've done ministry all these years together. And then once we launched our kids, I thought, you know, if I'm gonna be speaking and writing, I want to be able to really dive into scripture and, you know, understand what I'm teaching. I think a a lot of people assume that because their spouse is in ministry, it seems like then they just everybody assumes they know everything their spouse knows. And I thought, you know what? There's no reason for me not in this season to just go back to school and really dive in with theology, Bible exposition, and all of that. I laugh and say, you know, I wouldn't want the spouse of my surgeon to do my surgery. And so if I'm gonna do this, I want to be trained. So I did go back and do that. Seminary was a completely different experience and learning environment than my undergrad degree at Georgia Tech. You know, we solved for X. That's what we did. And in seminary, you read a million books and you write a million papers. And so I'm using a whole different side of my brain for that when I did that. And there was a little learning curve with that, but it was amazing. And when I decided to do that, I we were already entrenched in foster care and had already started our fostering together ministry in our churches. And so I was able to be strategic about the electives I chose to take. And I was able to take some things like ministry to children at risk, addictions and compulsive behaviors, and just some classes that really were practical and helpful for what I was doing ministry-wise at that time, in addition to theology and Bible exposition. But yeah, being a Georgia girl, you know, I'm so proud of our state. I love that I've never lived anywhere else. I love traveling, I love visiting other places, but coming home always means coming home to Georgia for me. So that's kind of my little background story.

SPEAKER_03 5:04

Well, I love that. I and I love that you're a Georgia girl. My husband and I moved here. Uh, we made the final permanent move back um probably right in the beginning of 2021. And I have to tell you, I wasn't really sure about what it was going to look like for us to be here after leaving, you know, California and being there for so many years. And all of a sudden here we are in Georgia. And I thought, I think, I think I'm home. I think between the good food, the good people, and really just the southern hospitality. I I thought, wow, I've this is really an incredible place to be. And so I wish that I would have had more time here as and and actually been able to raise my children here. So I would love to talk a little bit about that too, because so many women who are listening right now, I want to go back into what you were sharing. You know, they're raising children, or maybe they're in the next season of life. All of a sudden they're faced with this. And I love that you said, you know, if you're part of ministry and your husband's part of ministry, you should have that as well. That should be a tool in your toolbox, right? You should be also tapping in so that you can align with one another. Talk a little bit about how, or how can you encourage maybe a woman who's listening right now that is, well, she might still be raising her children, she might find herself in a next season of life. How would you encourage them to pursue maybe that passion or that purpose that they feel like maybe is in theology or something going back to school?

SPEAKER_01 6:29

Yeah. You know, I I think transition times for everyone, for women, for, you know, really for everyone, for college, kids going from high school to college, you know, just any transition time, I think is a wonderful time for us to go to our Heavenly Father and say, God, would you cast, would you begin casting some vision for the next season of my life? And I think he is so faithful to honor that ask and that request. When I realized that our kids were, you know, when they were in high school, they're all pretty close in age. So I realized when Andrew, our oldest, graduates, then Garrett will graduate the next year. And then two years later, Allie will graduate. So I'm looking at empty nesterhood, and I wasn't that mom who was afraid of empty nesterhood. Andy and I enjoy each other's company so much. We have been so intentional about prioritizing our marriage, even in those parenting years. And so we still like each other. So, you know, it I wasn't the one, the mom that wanted to perpetually parent either. So I thought we're, you know, this is this is a natural, wonderful transition. I was gonna be sad, of course, and you know, miss my kids. There's all of those crazy feelings wrapped up in any transition, whether it's launching your kids or going from just one season to another. But that's when I began praying, God, I see that there is a transition time ahead of me. Would you just guide me and begin casting some vision in my heart for what's next? And um, and he did that. It was sort of some baby steps. I never thought that foster care would be part of our journey. I it just wasn't a natural thing that I had been given a lot of thought to over the years. A lot of people do. I've Allie has friends who are young moms or even not married yet, who are like, someday I want to be, you know, I want to adopt or I want to do foster care. I that wasn't already in me. And God just baby stepped us to the place where that began to be something that got me really excited. And I just think in transition to answer your question, that's a great prayer to pray. God, would you begin birthing in me some vision for what's next? And that may be a theology degree, it may be going back and finishing college, it may be just starting some new career. It's funny timing. I'm just wrapping up Jim Collins' new book called What to Make of a Life. And he talks about our inside encodings and leveraging those. And as a believer, he's not writing really from that perspective, but for me as a believer, knowing that God has put certain things in me that I want him to tease out and help me leverage for his kingdom and his glory. I felt like that book kind of coincided for me at a good time. So, but yeah, I think I think praying that prayer, it's a powerful prayer. God, would you begin birthing in me some vision for what's next and for what's coming in this next season? Wow. I love that.

SPEAKER_03 9:30

And he always shows up when we ask, you know, he shows up and he starts to give us these visions. And I love that you use the word birthing. I remember when my husband and I uh were empty nesters, we have been for a while now. Our youngest son just got married last October. And I think we were both the same thing. We we really like each other, we really like our time together. We actually were looking forward to going, how are we gonna grow again as a husband and wife in this time? And how are we gonna do what is next? What is that that the Lord's calling us to? And I remember when we stepped into our home here in Georgia, the home that we are in today, I remember walking in and my husband said, I don't want to remodel any more homes. I do not want to do that, not in this time in our life. And I remember walking into this home with him, and he looked at me and he said, No, I'm not, I'm not remodeling this. I'm not moving the wall. He's like, Don't even look. We're we're leaving. And I remember in that moment, the Lord was just speaking to my heart, and it was just this beautiful moment where the Lord was like, You are gonna birth many, many women out of this home. And I thought, wow, Lord. And so when I shared that with him, he was like, Well, I don't know. We have boys. I've been around estrogen. I feel like more estrogen around my entire life than I've than I've thought was gonna be the real thing. But but what I've seen is that over these last years in this time of empty nesting, what the Lord has done is he has birthed this vision that was given a long time ago. But what he's doing is he's taking it into a new season. And he's giving me an opportunity to put my hands to something that's even far greater and that we're seeing the acceleration, maybe I should say. There's an acceleration there in what that birthing is looking like and what God is doing through this new season of our life, not only with us as a husband and wife, but as one another lifting each other up into this new season of life and and where he's called us to partner and then also to hold each other's arms as we enter into these new seasons. So I love that. Thank you for sharing that.

SPEAKER_01 11:29

Because it can be kind of foggy, you know. I mean, you can trying to work it out and figure it out. It's not God doesn't usually plop it down with all of the details in place. So having a spouse or a girlfriend or an accountability partner to come alongside you and walk with you kind of through the fogginess while you figure it out is such a powerful thing.

SPEAKER_03 11:50

It's such a powerful thing. Well, one of the questions that I always feel is is just really important for us to chat about. It's been something I ask everybody who comes onto the show is, you know, how do you define success in your daily walk and your where you're at in life right now? But how do you, as Sandra, define success?

SPEAKER_01 12:11

That is such a good question. I think in my mind, in my heart, my definition of success hasn't really changed over the years, but my application of it and the difficulty maybe of achieving it has ebbed and flowed, you know, through different seasons. But for me, success for me, I think is viewing my life and my decisions, my actions, my reactions all through the lens of living for an audience of one. You know, when we're living for an audience of thousands or even, you know, hundreds or even, you know, five, ten or twenty or thirty, it's just frustrating if we can live our lives and view our decision making and our actions and all of that through the lens of am I living my life for an audience of one? Because at the end of the day, or at the end of the year, the end of any season of life, success is knowing for me that I lived my life to please my heavenly father, or I lived this season to please my heavenly father. And I fall short all the time and you know, get back up, recenter my focus on him. But I learned a long time ago I can't please all the people all around me. It's impossible to do that. So Andy and I often ask the question together did we make the decision that we believe God led us to make? Can we put our head on the pillow at the at night in peace because we're good with him and we feel like we're in sync with him? And for me, that's what success is. It might look different in different seasons, but that definition of living my life for an audience of one is just, you know, at the end of the day, the end of a decision, at the end of a season, at the end of a hard conversation, you know, at the end of any little thing that comes along, am I doing it all to please my heavenly father rather than trying to please everybody else?

SPEAKER_03 13:59

No, I love that. And I think that's such a great reminder too, because so many, especially in the world that we live in today, they're so focused on what the picture perfect Instagram or filtered looking life means as success, right? And all of a sudden there's a comparison that happens, lack thereof, a lot of times it hits us. And so when we start to look at those different things, and and I hope that everyone who's listening and watching is that there really is a reality to knowing that number one, we we serve our Heavenly Father first and foremost and what he calls us to. And I love that you said success comes differently in different times in different seasons of our life. But if we keep the one perspective each and every time, even though those times change around us, we can walk and be rooted knowing that success today is looking the way that God wants it to look. And how are we growing in that time? So I love that.

SPEAKER_01 14:53

I love that details are different, the principle is the same.

SPEAKER_03 14:57

Absolutely. And seasons change us, right? Every year every year and everything we go through changes us. And so what might have looked like failure last year will look like success this year because it's just it just comes at different times. And and and so I always say this, it's God's people provision and plan that seem to really, as we look at each and everything going on in life, what does it look like with those three perspectives in it? And that that leads me into, you know, with especially that these women who you're speaking to right now who are listening and watching, you've invested so deeply in women through your writing. You know, when when did you first feel called to speak into those like struggles that you've been writing about, you know, in your devotionals and then walking alongside and and doing this book with your daughter Allie?

SPEAKER_01 15:47

You know, I I I have never felt called to women's ministry. Okay. And there are a lot of pastors' wives, you know, that that feel very called to just pour into women. I love it when I have those opportunities, but it hasn't been my passion or my calling. And and which was one of the reasons I was saying, God, would you burst some vision? Maybe that was gonna be it. And it turned out not to be. But Andy did um a series and at two different times, two different topics. And these are two topics that when he was doing this series, I thought, I would love to take that material and hone it just for women, not because they're women's issues specifically, but there are some specific applications for women with this content. And so one of them was comparison trap, which you kind of mentioned, you know, when we get our eyes off of just pleasing the audience of one, you know, trying to please everybody, we start comparing, we start, you know, looking at everybody's social media, just you know, all of that kind of stuff. So I took that material and just thought I would love to just do a simple 30-day devotional on this topic. And then same thing happened with uh breathing room, a series he did. And I thought, ooh, there's one. I would love to grab that content, hone it for women and do something with those. So I didn't necessarily feel called to write or to speak on those topics, but when they came my way, I thought, yes, I would like to do that. And you know, part of it is I think um, you know, we just as women, we wear so many hats. It's very easy to take on too much. And so breathing room became that, you know, just kind of a hot topic for me for women, for teenagers. Ali was I guess she was in college when I wrote that one. And I just thought, gosh, I think it would be so amazing for college girls to be able to get their heads around this idea of creating breathing room so that they can do what God is calling them to do specifically. When we get so busy with all the other stuff, it becomes a pattern. And if we can learn to kind of deal with that early in her season of life, how awesome would that be for them to be able to carry that into their adult years as in their careers or in their, you know, being a mom or whatever it is that God calls them to do. I love those were those were some topics I just loved.

SPEAKER_03 18:04

Well, I'll share one with you. I I I think it was maybe a couple, maybe a month or two ago when we were at church and Andy was talking about the three ingredients of relationships. So I don't know if the Lord's birthing anything in you right now with that, but I think it would be fabulous.

SPEAKER_01 18:22

That's a that's an interesting thing to think about.

SPEAKER_03 18:25

It was it was huge. Let me just tell you, it was huge. And when I think about what you just said about taking these topics, um, you know, that is something that I was like, wow, that's those are those are real situations for real people. And especially with us and, you know, the culture that we're living in today and those three ingredients of relationships. And it was a very, very powerful series. And so let me just throw that in your corner there to think.

SPEAKER_01 18:53

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_03 18:54

Not that you don't have, you know, many things on your plate, but yeah, well.

SPEAKER_01 18:58

Always looking for something fun to do, you know. And I love it when Andy and I can do it together. We a few years ago wrote a parenting book together, and it was just really fun, you know, creating that content and and putting it together and as a project was really fun. Yeah. And then writing with Allie is fun too, of course.

SPEAKER_03 19:16

I loved it. I think Matt and I, after we've been married um 29 years, and it was probably the first time in 29 years that we were able to look at each other and do the what oh what I want, you know, what we want. You know, and it was the first time I think we stood before each other and went, oh, I think I'm comfortable with being able to do this. So in other words, there's just a thought for you.

SPEAKER_01 19:41

Yes, that's awesome. Awesome idea. Make a note.

SPEAKER_03 19:44

Make a note. But I want to talk a little bit too about foster care. We are in May, which is foster care awareness month. I have an incredible woman who works with me and the women in my world and in Beautifully Flawed Productions, Katie. She is a foster parent, adoptive parent, and um, this is something that, you know, really touches so many people. I want to talk a little bit about that because that's been something that's been such a huge part of your life. And you were sharing about, you know, praying and that this is what the Lord gave you, and also for your family. So foster care has become such that central part of your life and your families. But really, when you're talking a little bit about that, how were you first led to that? And how did your family actually step into fostering?

SPEAKER_01 20:30

Yeah. Yeah, it's it's interesting because our kids were a little bit older when we started, which I think is a good thing. I mentioned, you know, I've been asking God to burst some vision and and he began, I think I think he began moving us in the direction of foster care with little bitty baby steps. And so when our kids were sort of middle school, early high school, we started doing some international traveling with them, doing some mission trips together. We went to Africa a couple times and met some compassion children. We we did it through Compassion International at that time. And for me, I kind of kind of grew up in, you know, leave it to beaver world, where I just had two parents who loved the Lord and loved each other and siblings that I love and enjoy. And, you know, I just kind of grew up in a bubble. So it wasn't until I was in my twenties or early 30s, even before I realized everybody didn't grow up the way that I did. And so for my kids, this international traveling sort of was an awakening for them to see, wow, you know, there's a contrast between how we live and how people in, you know, other circumstances live, whether it's international or right here in our in our own backyard. So that was that was sort of an awakening for us as a family and for our kids to to be able to begin seeing that. So we started having some conversations about, you know, how can we get involved? So we got involved in some ministries overseas, of course. And then we slowly began to realize what was going on here. We just God just created Some pivotal relationships for us that allowed us to peek into the foster care world. Andy and I met a man who was a successful businessman by the time we met him, but he was sharing his story with us. We were having lunch with him one day and he was sharing his story with us and he had grown up as a foster child. And he talked about how he had bounced, first of all, his mom was an addict. So he had bounced around from family member to family member first, which is often how it starts. And then he got placed into foster care, which he said was probably, he didn't believe it at the time, but looking back, one of the best things that ever happened. But he bounced around, you know, to some different foster homes. Some were not good, some were okay. But then he he was in a group on. Then he got placed with a foster family who was completely different. And this family really began to to pour into him in a way he had never been poured into before. He had never seen a healthy family. Even, you know, his relatives that he got put with or foster families that were previous. It was the first time he had seen a healthy family, a marriage where the couple wasn't screaming at each other all the time, dinner around the dinner table. It was the first time he saw what family looks like. And he said, I just needed to see it, to know that that was possible for me. And when he said that, Andy and I, we were already low-hanging fruit. You know, God had been doing a work on us over a little amount of time. But when he said that to us about just needed to see it, to know what was possible for me, we thought, you know what? We can do that. We can show some kids what it looks like to be in a healthy family. We can show them what it looks like and maybe they pick it up for their future or maybe they don't. That's not up to us. We have to worry about. We we just know that we can show them that. And we don't mind leveraging our influence to get other people to also do that if that's what God is calling them to do. And so that's when we decided not only are we going to take this on personally, but let's see what we can do to rally around some other foster families to create some communities of care around them that allow them to sustain because foster care is not easy. And you've got a friend who's, I'm sure you've heard her stories. Yes, you know, there is never a it's there's rarely a pretty bow that ties up the package at the end of a placement. That just rarely happens, even with adoption. Adoption days are the best days, but they're also the end of something for those children. So even that, it is not a perfect bow on the, you know, on the situation. So it's hard, it's messy. It was hard for us, you know, to inconvenience ourselves that way. We learned how very selfish we are. We had to make a lot of adjustments in that way. But but that's what kind of launched us into our foster care journey. And we just knew we can do this and we can leverage our influence. This is worth leveraging our influence. People ask us, you know, to get behind things all the time. And sometimes God leads us to do that, sometimes he doesn't. But this we knew he was calling us to leverage our influence for children in foster care.

SPEAKER_03 25:13

Hey friends, if you're enjoying today's episode, we'd love your support. Hit like, subscribe, comment, and share this video, which helps us grow the channel that directly supports the women in my world and our mission to develop, educate, and launch Christian women in the entertainment and media industry. Every action you take truly makes a difference in our ministry. And now we'd like to share a brief video about the heart and mission behind the women in my world. Thank you for being a part of this incredible journey with us. Hi, I'm Sherry Rigby, the founder of the Women in My World. Our goal is simple but powerful. We focus on developing, educating, and launching Christian women in entertainment and media. Our aim is to train up emerging talent, empower them to craft impactful, God-honoring content across various platforms, and contribute to positive global change through leadership roles. We invest in women by providing opportunities to learn essential skills in their desired field. Through hands-on education and on-the-job training, we build a community of like-minded women who shepherd others to grow and flourish in their careers. The Women in My World has helped support and launch women into key positions, such as producers, script supervisors, production and costume designers, directors, makeup and hair artists, and so many more. These women have gone on to expand their resumes and their relationships, which have provided opportunities to work on major network television shows and feature films. Due to the small percentage of Christian women and decision-making roles and entertainment, believers must invest in their training, mentoring, and discipleship. These women can then become a voice to change in the negative narratives influencing our culture and shed light on topics we desperately need to tackle from a biblical worldview. The women in my world is honored to help support women and their careers in entertainment and media as they bring redemptive stories to life and uplift, encourage, and influence the world for Christ. I remember, you know, I've had multiple friends who have gone through foster care, being foster care parents and then also adopting. And I've heard the stories, you know, that have gone alongside of it. Katie, who works with me, she has five children and really has invested in the lives of these children, not only fostering but adopting.

SPEAKER_01 27:44

That's amazing.

SPEAKER_03 27:45

And it is, it's an amazing, amazing thing because you do realize how quickly what you have to be is selfless in order to be able to give like that, right?

SPEAKER_02 27:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:57

How has that, how is foster care and walking this journey out? How is this, gosh, how has it heightened your faith and what kind of impact has it had on you personally with your faith and your family? And just knowing that this is something, the struggles of it. And then I guess the second part of that was what do you wish that people had a better understanding of and the needs and opportunities to be involved in foster care?

SPEAKER_01 28:23

Great questions. Um, well, as I mentioned, for us it was a family decision because our kids were a little bit older. And so we included them in those, you know, preliminary conversations of, hey, you know, what would this look like for us as a family? Actually, Andrew was about, I think Andrew, our oldest, who's 33 now, I think he was in maybe 11th grade when we when we started fostering. So we definitely involved our kids in this conversation. And, you know, they were going to be old enough that they would be super helpful potentially in the in in the journey. And so as a family, I think it was so good for the five of us to dive into this together with kind of uh oneness of heart and spirit toward it. So I think that was a healthy thing for our family. I think we all discovered that we had some deficiencies. You know, there you bring kids in who, you know, they're a they just have been through a lot, some of them. And they're hungry for attention and for love, and that manifests differently with different children, experienced, you know, a lot of hard. Our kids were so exceedingly patient, though, and more so probably than Andy and I were. So that was good. But I think it surfaced in us some things that maybe God wanted to dislodge, some selfishness. I am a one on the Enneagram, and so is Andy. So we like all of our ducks in a row. You know, our personalities and temperaments just are yes, are like that. And foster care is not conducive to having ducks in a row and everything predictable all the time. And so I think there was a lot of stretching and a lot of growth for us in that and just renewing our minds to what's really important. And again, you know, are we making decisions that are in line with what God has asked us to do? And it just makes us better and it makes our relationship with him better. It's the hard times that God uses most effectively, I think, to change us and to grow us and all of that. And we did not get it perfect. There are plenty of stories. There was one time that I ended up thinking, you know what, I probably better call the caseworker and tell her what I just said to this child because she's gonna find out anyway. So I told her this thing that I had said to the teenager child. I think um our foster daughter at that time was like 12 or 13. And I said, Hey, if she tells you I said so and so and so, I did. And she started laughing. She said, Is that the first time you've done that? Because I think I would have done it about 20 times by this time. Right. So anyway, there's a lot of growing and stretching. But to answer the second part of your question, Sherry, as it relates to what people can do for kids in foster care, not everybody is called to foster. Not everyone should foster. I am so I am such an advocate, but I am so quick to say not everyone is cut out for it. Yeah. And, you know, you need to be prayerful about it. It is so difficult for foster kids when they get into a placement and that placement disrupts for whatever reason. That is another new trauma for their little hearts and minds. Even if they're the absolute 100% reason that it disrupts, a disruption is difficult for them. And so, you know, getting the right training ahead of time, which there's so many mandated things that that foster parents have to learn and go through, and there's continuing ed every year, things like that that help people get through some of those placements. But it's not for everyone, but there is something that everyone can do. Everybody can do something. I would even say in the book of James, we are in many ways, I think, mandated to take care of the orphans and the widows. And in their context, it was orphans and widows. In our context, it's maybe even broader than that. People who are in need, there is a responsibility on our part to come alongside people who are in need, particularly children. And so that to me feels like a mandate. And there are ways, so many ways that people can be involved. Right now, Andy and I function in more of a support role rather than a foster care role. And so our whole small group is rallied around one family. They've got two biological children and six foster children. And so we take turns every week taking meals to them and providing some babysitting. So one of the things that we do in our ministry, um, and that I think all we love sharing our ministry model with other local churches that can dive in with the foster children in their areas. But we provide us a kind of a community of care around a foster family where they have their people that are just specific to their family to help them with babysitting, with driving, with meals, with encouragement, with tutoring, just whatever they can help with. This is their team. And so those foster kids get to know those people almost like extended family. And, you know, we had one situation with a placement where we were the respite family for another foster family. So anytime that family needed the kids to be somewhere, it was always with us. So we were like the aunt and uncle. Well, then something happened in that home where the foster mom had to get some special training to deal with some of the issues of one of the foster girls. And so all three of those just naturally came to our home. We were approved to foster care. So they came to our home. They were with us for about four months while the other family got some training that they needed. And then they were able to transition back. So it was a disruption for them, but it was the most comfortable kind of disruption they could have had. So that's the power of being a support person around another family. So everybody can do something. We always just encourage people, hey, if you can't foster, but you're interested in helping foster children, then consider one of these other roles. You may be great at making meals. So find a foster family, take a meal once a week, or get with your small group and take turns doing that. So many things you can do to make the journey easier for people who are fostering. So I would say not everybody's called to foster, but everybody can do something for foster kids.

SPEAKER_03 34:25

That's such a great reminder because gosh, I'm gonna tap into a couple things that you said along the way there. Well, number one, I love that you called the caseworker and said, This is what I said. I wish I would have had somebody like that when I've said things to my children that I go, uh oh. I think I've just called my husband or I had called my mom at the time and said, I don't know where that came from, but it literally flew out of my mouth. And that's that's a reality. Yes. Yes. This is this is real life. This is real life. And um, and so I love that you said that. I also would say, you know, my husband and I, uh such great, great words of wisdom about not everybody's called to foster, but everybody's called to help in some way, shape, or form, right? My husband and I, after our second child was born very shortly after that, I found out I couldn't have any more children. And so devastation, two boys, but still at this point was really believing that maybe we were called to adopt or foster. And so we did the deep dive into prayer. And one of us, me, was yes, that's for us. And he was, no, that's not for me. And then, but we came to a place where we started to go, well, let's at least put our toe in to figure out whether or not we are called and let's explore what it means to be a foster parent and then potentially being able to adopt. And what we came to find out was that it's not where the Lord was calling us. And and so that door closed. But what we've seen over the years is that again, kind of going back to this ministry that I have in the women, I've had women in my home of all ages for since going back to 2010, where we've given place of respite, we've given a place where we've been able to financially support in some way, shape, or form. And so the service element, right? We also worked with um the Dream Center with the Barnett family in Los Angeles for years and watched a lot of families in need. And really, what I would say to you too, and anybody who's listening right now, is that really what you are doing together as a husband and wife and as a family and at North Point is you're creating a community or that village that people need and able to sustain uh in family and being able to serve. And so I love that what you're creating is something that we should be doing around so many people in general is being how can we help? How can we serve you? How can we be that village or that community? When you need help, how do we step into the gap and be that? So I love that you've shared that. And I know that you have that ministry through North Point as well, correct? So that people, if they are in need, they can step into the ministry part of it. Could you share a little bit about that too?

SPEAKER_01 37:11

About fostering together.

SPEAKER_03 37:12

Yeah, yep, yep, at North Point.

SPEAKER_01 37:14

Yeah. Yeah. So at each of our we have eight Atlanta area campuses, and at each of our campuses, we have a fostering together ministry. And and we've exported that to some other churches. So there could be some places in whoever's listening in your community or your area that is doing something similar. But for us, we a couple times a year, we do some recruiting, we do training, we do all of that. I loved how you said you stuck your toe in the water just to kind of see if maybe this was going to be for you. Um I like to call it wading into the shallow end of the pool. Yeah. And fostering is the deep end where, you know, you're underwater sometimes. But wading into that shallow end of the pool, yeah. Fostering together gives you some opportunities to do that. And it is great, like you said, to be able to say, here's something that we know we can do. And then this will allow us to get a peek kind of behind the curtain to see if we're equipped or if God is calling us specifically to step into foster care. So that's one of the reasons we created it was to allow people some other roles. And then we do see lots of our families who start off in a support role take the next step and become a foster family. And then we see plenty that just say, Hey, we I am, I love making meals for people. I love being prayer support for people, I love encouraging people. I love babysitting, I love bringing my art supplies over and doing a project with these three kids that, you know, just need some extra attention while the family takes a little break. So wading into the shallow end, kind of taking a look at all of that. That's that's kind of why we one of the reasons we started fostering together. The main reason was to provide support for that family so that they could sustain through that placement. I love that. If it happens to be a difficult one. Every now and then you get a placement that isn't that complicated and it isn't, you know, maybe it's really short term and the mom just needed to find a job, you know, or maybe the a judge has said, hey, mom, you're gonna have to go through this, you know, you're gonna have to go through this program to get clean, and then you get your kids back and then they work that program and they do it. Those are the wins in foster care when you can reunite children with their biological family in a safe situation. That's that's always the win. But yes, that's why we started fostering together. If you live in a different city and you have a heart for this, maybe you could be the one that steps into your church space and says, Hey, can I start this in our church, you know, for families who might be fostering already? We just get some support around those families who are fostering already, or maybe we recruit some foster care, some foster families, and then support them. So it's it's just a cool way for people to be able to rally around it. And May, like you said, is foster care awareness month. So this is always the month that we're doing a lot of recruiting, sharing a lot of stories and videos about what it looks like. There, there is just such a need. There's such a need right here in the Atlanta area in each of the counties. You know, it's so great if kids can stay in their general area or in their county. Often they can't because there aren't enough beds available for them to stay there. And so, you know, eliminating some of those kind of issues for children and making it as easy as possible is such a great thing.

SPEAKER_03 40:28

Because I know when we pour into the youngers, we are cultivating something as they continue to grow and the olders. And it's so important, it's so important to do that because they are the ones who will be in a position very, you know, near future that they're going to be making decisions and they will either be for kingdom or they will go in a different direction. And so it's really important to be to be pouring in them. It I I think also one thing I would love to tap on a couple things before we end our time together, so specifically between writing and fostering and being a part of a growing church, you know, I want to talk a little bit about what kind of strategies that you've developed. Because I know with all, you know, raising a family, being part of the foster care and and really pouring into others, families, children, also being in a church environment, there's things that you go through too, and and you really have to maintain your spiritual disciplines. How have you been able to do that? And have you have you gone through some seasons of drought? And what do those look like for you? And how have you been able to take those spiritual times, those those times of drought, and really see the fruit from them that God has really given you to pour into something new or to continue the this journey that you're in right now?

SPEAKER_01 41:49

Yeah, yes. I love that. And I love the question because I think anyone who says they have never been through a season of drought, either they're not very self-aware or they're not being honest. So um, so it's just, you know, it's just a real thing in the walk of, I think anyone who loves the Lord and and has been a believer, you it just, you know, your fervor ebbs and flows. And for me, my quiet time, I'll call it quiet time, it's just, you know, my time alone with the Lord has looked very different in different seasons of my life. When the heavy duty, busy seasons of raising kids, I had to get up super early to have that time that was uninterrupted. And if I'm real honest, I can tell you that I would be in my quiet time chair from time to time and just having a wonderful time with the Lord. And it's just been great. And then one of my kids would come, hear their footsteps coming down the hallway, and I'm like, no, get out of here. I'm having I'm with Jesus right now. Go away. Right. In there. But again, in every season of life, right now, in this season of being an empty nester, I have the luxury of having wonderful, long, quiet times that just seemed like a pipe dream in other seasons of my life. But I will say this about drought, you know, when you just kind of feel that spiritual dryness, when you feel like I just feel so disconnected from my heavenly father right now. If I am feeling that way, and I pause and ask myself a couple of questions, I can usually get to the root of it. Nine times out of ten, I have allowed my calendar to get out of whack. And I have allowed the busyness of life and saying yes to some things that I probably should not have said yes to. That's when my quiet time isn't as effective or gets completely ignored. My relationship with the Lord just kind of becomes, you know, something, a box to check. And I don't like that. I don't want my quiet time to be a box to check. And that that certainly has happened many, many, many, many times in my life as a believer. So one of the things that I do, because you asked for strategy, and I thought, one of the things that I do, I I wish I could remember who I heard say this year ago. Ago. I mean, I was probably in my 20s and I heard someone say, they said, I'm not legalistic about my quiet time, but I do know that if I have missed three days in a row, I need to ask myself, what's going on? You know, you might you'll miss a day, you miss two days, you're, you know, vacation, you know, whatever, all of those, you just you make space for all of that. But if there's a normal week and I am ignoring my quiet time for three days in a row, then I need to stop and go, hey, what's happening in my heart right now that I feel good about ignoring my time alone with my heavenly father? And so that's kind of been my little check, you know, check on myself thing. Three days in a row, I need to pause. And maybe I was sick, or maybe there's some great explanation for it, or maybe I'm not protect prioritizing the way that I need to prioritize. But spiritual drought for me is almost always connected to busyness and busyness with things that I have no business doing. One of the things I say to moms a lot, especially young moms, is in every season of your life and of your parenting, especially, I think, there are categories of things that should be no's for you. This is a no. For me, in the heavy duty parenting years, speaking and writing were categorical no's. I would get invited because of my position and because of who I'm married to, and because of being in church, I would get invited all the time to speak or to write. I would get great opportunities. And it was a categorical no, no for now, because when I say yes to that, it's gonna consume an amount of time that I am not willing to give up in this season. That time belongs somewhere else right now for me. And I think we're all different in that. It just different seasons look different, our priorities maybe are different, but I the, you know, I just have categorical no's in different seasons of life. And I think if we can take a minute to look at our calendar and say, what are my what are the most important things in this season of my life? And then calendar around those, say no to the other things. That's how I can usually keep my intimacy with God healthy. And when I don't do that, it does not go well. And I find myself feeling disconnected from God.

SPEAKER_03 46:18

Yeah, no, that's so good. I think margin is so important. I always share that. I have a lot of young ladies who I'm talking to and women in different seasons of life as well. And, you know, I always say you have to be really cautious because what you fill your calendar with is really where your time will be. Somehow or another, again, the world has said, you can do all things and you can do it great. And I go, it's not truth. It's just not truth. And so, you know, we we really have to look at where God has us and allow and be reminded that we do need margin because what we are called to and who we are called to. And I know, and even in days I've gotten up and I'm like, okay, okay, Lord, my brain is uh on overdrive. And it's like I'll have one line. Thank you for another day of waking me up. Okay, I can't, my I can't, I can't think of anything else, but at least it's there, or you know, or I look back and I go, but at least there's a moment. And I think that strategically, I love that that you've kind of set that in where you've said, here's these three days, and if this isn't happening, I need to go back and evaluate why this is not happening. And I think so many of us need to do that and be aware of it. It's so often that the enemy is the time stealer. He's stealing time and he's and it's like, wait a minute, the only way that I can be filled and really work through the days that I need to is going back and being reminded that I have the living water and the daily bread and how is it filling me each and every day. And without it, I die. With it, I live. And it is easy to get out of that piece of what it looks like to do that in life. I have one last question for you, and I know because we're coming up on our time, but you know, one thing, and and you are an author, so you know, I consider you're in entertainment, media, you're speaking, you're out there, you're being an influencer in so many ways, and you're you're really speaking to a culture. And and I would love if you could just take a couple minutes before we go and talk a little bit about how we um, and I'm and I'll say women because that's really our focus as but women and families, but how as a Christian woman in entertainment and media, how do you think that we can do a better job with telling stories or from the perspective? And what do you think that we're missing right now in the culture that we're living in today that we need to tap into? And how do you think that what we as husbands and wives families are consuming are hindering us and our walk with the Lord? What can we do to do a better job with that? It's kind of a loaded one.

SPEAKER_01 48:55

Yeah, that's a broad question. And I am not sure I can speak with any authority so broadly, but you know, I think as a mom who is now a mom to moms, you know, all three of our kids are have kids now, and there are so many amazing resources, you know, there's so many amazing resources that they have now that we didn't have. They can go through books together, watch and discuss movies or show series or different things that are age appropriate in different times. There was a time with my kids, I wasn't above bribing them to watch certain things or listen to certain things or certain sermons. I would, I would say to my kids, hey, listen to this sermon and text me three things you got out of it, and I've been mow you 20 bucks. You know, so you just you just leverage what you got. So I would do that sometimes. I think there are so many great resources. Do you think there are there's there's also we're living in a world that that's really hard? Um and so maybe to answer your question, to me, the more things we have that we can consume alongside our kids or with our kids or encourage our kids to be exposed to, the better. So I don't know what that looks like really in the industry that you're in, but I would welcome more entertainment that's so that's family friendly. Yeah, you know, more things that we can watch and learn with our kids. There's a series that Andy and I have we actually just finished watching, and I thought, goodness, if if the language was cleaned up in this show, it would be an amazing thing to watch with a teenage son or daughter to talk about grief and to talk about entitlement and you know, just some big topics that we need to talk about. But I'm not about to sit down with any with my kids, and you know, if they're middle school or high school, especially, and watch something where they're hearing you know, the F word in just about every single sentence. Yes, it just is almost like it's an a normal adjective or adverb. Yeah, and I'm not gonna do that. So gosh, I so wish there were more things like that from the industry, from the entertainment industry that we really could watch with our you know, middle school and high school kids and talk about big topics, grief, depression, entitlement, you know, just so many different things. And so I say more resources like that, the better. Don't be above bribing your kids to watch or listen to something that you feel like has a great message and then say, hey, text me what you learn, and we'll there'll be a reward at the end of some sort. I don't know if that's really a good answer to your question. It's such a it's such a a broad, a broad question in my experience is kind of only a small slice of it, but those are just a few of my thoughts, my random thoughts.

SPEAKER_03 51:57

No, it's it's important. I mean, in that it's a those are great answers. I think one from a perspective as a mother in a family and also the two of you being able to consume content together as a husband and wife. And you know, and then what are we putting out there? And so I think that where we're all at in today's world, and especially whether we have a phone in our hands or whatever, we're all in some way, shape, or form part of this culture today in entertainment and media because we are putting out content that people are consuming. And so yeah, I would just, yeah, I think that was a great answer. And and for us, it's been really being a reminder to put people at the table who have the values to create the content.

SPEAKER_02 52:39

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 52:39

That really is where it stems from. You know, we talk about that all the time is well, who do they have their eyes on and who are they serving? And if they're serving the Heavenly Father, uh, even if they don't walk in and they're, you know, proclaiming it in a studio setting, at least we know where they are, the position they're taking is how do we know that this is gonna benefit the family? How is it gonna benefit the kingdom? And is it of value to put this something like this on?

SPEAKER_01 53:04

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 53:05

And so those are good, good reminders.

SPEAKER_01 53:07

Well, you're you're in the industry where you know it's all about the money. I mean, you know, as far as you know, what what's gonna be put out is gonna completely follow what's gonna make the money. So, you know, for I think for those who are around the table creating content, creating movies, creating shows, who are trying to make things family friendly, who are trying to do things that are values-based, we who are outside of that industry, we need to put our dollars in that. So I would say, you know, Andy and I, whether we're interested in a movie or a topic or not, we go see it or we watch it because we want, we want to be supportive of those. And we want the industry more broadly to see, wow, okay, there is a market for clean entertainment. I think one of the things we're seeing in comedy, because my oldest son Andrew is a stand-up comedian after four years of out-of-state tuition for a finance degree, but you know, whatever. So he's in that world. He is in that world. And one of the things having been close up to the comedy industry, I mean, it's a pretty foul place generally, but right now the clean comics are having a moment. Leanne Morgan, Nate Vargatsi, Andrew, our son stays so busy, so busy. And people want and love clean comedy. That is one thing that I've learned. And I just think the more we support, you know, the clean stuff, the family-friendly stuff, the values-driven movies and shows, you know, we can rally around that as consumers, and that will push the needle, possibly. So my two cents about that.

SPEAKER_03 54:52

I yes, absolutely. And you're 100% right. The comedy, and and people are their vote is with their dollar and their their their time when they vote and they basically say, I'm gonna spend my money here. This is what I'm gonna watch, this is what I'm consuming, this is what I'm gonna go to the theater for, this is what I'm gonna listen to. That is their vote to say, I want more of this. And you know, the entertainment is industry is stepping up into that, but you still have a lot of folks that, you know, they if it's a dollar, great, we're gonna make that dollar. And then they're still, you know, going out. And I think it's interesting. I always look at it and go, well, there's not a whole lot of clever creativity in dropping another F-bomb in a show or something else. It's like, let's be creative, let's get this together. And I think that's why clean comedy is doing so well. They have to be quick on their feet, they have to think, they have to be intuitive, and they have to be creative to bring something to life without using anything derogatory. You know, it's great.

SPEAKER_01 55:52

But anyway, it's it's real humor. I think that the trashy stuff, you get nerve, they they get nervous laughter from people. Clean comedy has to be really funny. Yes. So intelligent comedy. It's intelligent comedy. Intelligent comedy.

SPEAKER_03 56:07

Well, take one minute and just give the last kind of word that you would share with anyone who's listening right now, just a word of encouragement and where they can follow, listen, and uh just stay connected to you. And I will then wrap us out. And yeah, it's been so great having you with me.

SPEAKER_01 56:26

You know, I I think for me, my heartbeat message probably to the women who maybe are listening is live your life through the lens of an audience of one. When you're making your decisions, when you are faced with something hard, when you are looking at a new season coming, um, you know, asking God to cast that vision and then live your life as a you know, for that audience of one. You can sleep better at night when you can put your head on the pillow and know. Even if other people didn't love the decision I made, this is the thing that God asked me to do, and I know that I feel peace about it, and I can I can put my head on the pillow at night. So that's sort of a heartbeat from message for me as it relates to to women.

SPEAKER_03 57:12

That's awesome. Well, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for sharing your heart and your wisdom and how you live out your calling both in your home and throughout work, and and specifically being on the show today with me and talking about foster care awareness and just what an incredible opportunity is to continue to pour into people to remind them that even if they're not called to actual foster care, there is always something that they can do to serve. Whether it's being providing a meal, like you said, even financially, encouraging a family, babysitting, whatever that might be. So thank you for sharing that. And just again, showing what it means to love sacrificially and lead with compassion. So just thank you so much for being with me and all of those who are listening. And and again, I'm gonna be watching for that book, maybe with those three ingredients, because this is a woman in your world. Yeah, they probably need to know more of that.

SPEAKER_01 58:07

Anyway, thank you. Thank you, Jerry. Thank you for having me loved every second.

SPEAKER_03 58:11

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