Why Real Conversations Still Matter (NYC Edition)

This week, Connie and Lina welcome Zach Miller, host of the podcast Before We Cheers, and the vibes are very New York, very cultured, and just a little chaotic (in the best way).

Zach describes Before We Cheers as “the emotional truths we tell before the toast.” The show was inspired by writing his best friend’s wedding speech, that vulnerable, unfiltered moment before everyone raises their glass. 

We talk:

• The origin of Before We Cheers
• Building community in New York’s creative scene
• Growing up born-and-raised NYC with culture and travel
• Dating apps in 2026 and avoiding catfishers
• The right way to do a first date
• Slow dinners, Italian-style 
• And the scent of a perfect night out (dirty martinis, pizza, Byredo’s Alto Astral, and a Sunday at The Eagle)

Zach also shares how he started his podcast to spotlight his peers in the New York creative community—not celebrities, but the people shaping culture in real time.

Follow Zach’s show @BeforeWeCheers and also @iamzcm

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cutting-up-a-kiki-with-connie-lina/id1849020008

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/200MOk48TaLRPLQvzx2UK0?si=6499dd094f704a10

iHeart: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1333-the-cutting-up-a-kiki-wit-303161901 

Write to us at Kiki@TheCuttingUp.com

And follow us on instagram:

@TheCuttingUp

@TheRealConnieGirl

@TheLinaBradford

@PrideHouseMedia

“The Cutting Up: A Kiki with Connie & Lina” is a Pride House Media production.

Producers: Josh Rosenzweig & Matthew Breen.

Graphic Design by Daryl Raymond.

Original Music by 808 BEACH (John “J-C” Carr & Bill Coleman), courtesy of Peace Bisquit. 

 Production Design by Darryl Dickens. 

Our very special thanks to Jason Kanner for all your support.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

You're gonna get it, honey. Are you ready?

SPEAKER_00 0:03

It's time for the cutting up a Kiki with Connie and Lena.

SPEAKER_01 0:08

This is your backstage pass to all the dish fish. And that's the truth, Ruth. Come on now. Get into it. Oh, Con Con, welcome black. Hi Lena. How are you?

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Fantastic. How are you? Look, maybe the side swoop is giving it to you with the martine print. Oh, so yummy. Ooh.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

Come on, pattern on pattern. Thank you. And speaking of pattern on pattern. Listen, I own 51% of this company.

SPEAKER_00 0:37

We will get no change back. So, y'all, just recently we were on somebody else's podcast who is fucking amazing. And guess what? We have him here today. Let's give it a first. Thank you for having me. Honey, I told you, after you had us on your show, we had to have you on ours.

SPEAKER_02 1:00

I'm happy to be here. I'm walking around your house. I'm seeing everything. I was just telling you. I said, Well, I'm in great company. And when you're here alone and walking around, you're in great company too because you are everywhere. Hello.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

Eyes are constantly on me. Omnipresent.

SPEAKER_02 1:17

Yeah, omnipresent.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

Omnipresent.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

Omnipresent.

SPEAKER_02 1:21

Omnipast, omnifuture.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

It's funny. I love hearing that from people who, you know, who've only ever seen certain things or heard certain things about my collection and my home. But then when they actually come here, I love watching them kind of goop because that gives me just like the best. I'm like, oh my God, my collection is envied and adored by people.

SPEAKER_02 1:38

Yeah, that's gotta be fun for you.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

It's totally fun.

SPEAKER_02 1:41

Yeah. I mean, I just I walked in into both rooms. First of all, by the way, they're displayed beautifully.

SPEAKER_00 1:47

Thank you, my love.

SPEAKER_02 1:48

Because it of course, because when you think about what on your my podcast, you said you had something 600 Barbie's, whatever it was. It doesn't look like that though. No, it doesn't. Yeah. Some are hidden. Yeah, well, I saw there were rows of yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 2:03

Where all the dolls are hidden. I know where all the dolls are hidden.

SPEAKER_01 2:07

And if she doesn't like you, she'll cut you out of the photo.

SPEAKER_00 2:10

Oh, I see companion you. Oh, yeah. That doll looks just like you. How'd that happen? Was that give everybody the name of your podcast, honey, so they can get in if they have to.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

Yes, please. My podcast is called Before We Cheers.

SPEAKER_00 2:23

Which is a great name, I told you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 2:26

It's um The Emotional Truths We Tell Before the Toast. Ugh.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

Which is such a metaphor, actually, now hearing you say it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:34

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 2:34

What made you come up with that name?

SPEAKER_02 2:37

Two things. One, I was writing a speech for my best friend's wedding last week. Is that a movie? Yeah, literally. Yes, literally. But we'd been friends for so long, almost 15 years. So I got to thinking about God, it's really hard to keep these friendships together for this long. Um and also to do a speech, too. And to do a speech, and I was I was happy to do it. Of course, he only told me like a week before. So then that's how he operates. But you know, the funny thing though is he actually um my high school English teacher married his cousin, and she was there at the wedding and got to see me give a speech. Yeah, she was she was my my favorite teacher, you know. What are the chances of that? I mean, it was like it's so close. Of course, like, you know, my gay man's favorite English teacher is there to see me give a speech like all those years later. Like I was I was thrilled. So that was the first thing. The second thing was that I knew that as a ritual to process change and to make us present, the word cheers is the quickest way to recognize that and get us there. So it all just kind of made sense. And the third, you know, bonus part is that I um when I was in college, after I'd had a few, I would just love cheersing over and over again. Because I would warn people before I do it. I'd say, sorry, I just want you to know like this is how it's gonna happen with me. Like after X amount of drinks, like I'm just gonna be cheersing you, and there's nothing I can do.

SPEAKER_00 3:59

You're actually bringing up a really unsought thought that I've never thought about. When you say cheers, people go like this. And it's this kind of almost rebirth and newness of something. You know what I mean? Regardless if you're having four shots or two shots. Ha! Yeah, you know what I mean? And then what happens afterwards is always a cheers moment in itself.

SPEAKER_02 4:18

Exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 4:19

I I How did I get in this bathroom? Cheers, you know what I mean? How did you get in my bed? I mean, chairs. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 4:27

Yeah, I also kind of feel like some of the best conversations we have are even between drinks and yes, yeah, and but and within that time, that's where it all kind of comes along.

SPEAKER_00 4:36

You got a book in you with metaphors, honey.

SPEAKER_02 4:38

Girl, I've got so many metaphors. You have no idea.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

I had a good one for that one, but I'm just gonna hold on to it on the holding on to it. That would be a good name for a book, or or just something. I have a metaphor in me. Yes, yeah, right? Like it says so much, and you think about the visuals that go along with that.

SPEAKER_02 5:00

I'm thinking about it right now. I am too.

SPEAKER_00 5:03

Thank you, I'm gonna talk you to the bedroom. Metaphor in you. I love this show. It has made me understand so much about myself and my sister.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I understand so much more now.

SPEAKER_02 5:27

More than you could have ever dreamed.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

I know, I know, I know.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

But also, too, you we get to More than I shouldn't. Well, you know, and the rest of you viewers who tune in every week to our sickness. God bless your whole soul. Um, but you know, and also too, and our guests too, because you know, I I that's what I love about podcasts these days is that you really get to an opportunity to get different um uh relationships of people on whatever they go on to. Because each guest is bringing something different. Yeah, there might be a little something you're like, okay, well, yeah, they're talking points where I'm pimping this out, let's talk about this or whatever. But it really depends on the essence of the um uh the interviewer and the host. Totally. Like when we were on your show, like there the questions that you asked us are gonna be very different from anything else of when we go and we do other people's things. So it's like it's like in anything, like with DJing, every DJ has a different story to tell you, you know, and every fashion model should have something different to bring to the table, you know? So yeah, it's very interesting.

SPEAKER_02 6:22

Yeah, and I appreciate it. First of all, you guys are chock full of stories and like amazing glides, and chock full of nuts, too. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 6:28

Chockful of nuts, heavenly coffee, money can buy.

SPEAKER_02 6:35

You know, you're like you you have this you have this memory for like not just all the Barbies of the Log, but like every slogan jingle commercial you could possibly imagine. It's the Charette tricks. Yeah, it is, yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

Zach, you look great. You look amazing. What commercial is that from?

SPEAKER_00 6:54

Exactly. Hello. I should have known. It's funny, he never has a second cup at home. Oh you know, it's like I think it's the only child in me watching all the fun commercial, and you know, the commercials back in the day, honey, you remembered those jingles. Yeah, you know, they were literally on acid and you know, any other kind of hallution creating the most memorable things that we still talk about. Matt high point coffee, nair, we wear short shorts, all of it.

SPEAKER_02 7:18

Because some jingles really still stick. Yes, and that's why you still McDonald's still plays on like you know, I'm loving it. Like they're sometimes they're also I'm not a brand expert or anything, but I will say that some who really stick with their roots and know their audience, they will keep certain ones going and maybe reinvent it a little bit, but they don't have to do too far.

SPEAKER_01 7:40

I mean, McDonald's has kept it, yeah. Yeah, and I thought it it's familiarity and it and it's something that we can all join hands with. Yeah, yeah, you know, three all beef patties, special sauce, special cheese, and a bun.

SPEAKER_02 7:55

It's like we all remember when we were like young enough to order a happy meal and the treats that you would get inside prizes, like a cracker jack box, too.

SPEAKER_00 8:04

You know what I mean? But you know what? Burber King, even though you can't have it your way, they should have never gotten rid of the king, honey. The burglar. They got rid of the king and they got rid of the burglar too. That would be like Carvel getting rid of cookie o'puss. You know what I mean? Or Fudgy the Will. Or Fudgy the Will. I know Carvel, do better.

SPEAKER_02 8:25

You heard it here first.

SPEAKER_00 8:26

Did you know you when you got that cookie thing or that that that that that cake, honey? You could do an ice cream. Everybody lived for it. Like, oh my god, you're so popular because you had a Carvel ice cream cake situations with Fudgy the Whale and Cookie Opus. Cookie Puss. Cookie Puss. What is it because Cookie Opus?

SPEAKER_01 8:47

Cookie Opus was if your birthday was on um St. Patrick's Day? Wait, no, was it?

SPEAKER_00 8:54

Was that a situation? No, no, I think it was cookie opus. No, it's cookie. Viewers, you will gather us. Our viewers are fierce. They always tell us another thing because you know the dementia. I think it was it cookie opus or cookie puss from Carver. Cookie Puss. Are you sure? Yes. What do you remember? Huh?

SPEAKER_02 9:12

I'm just I'm just imagining a tranquil. Please welcome to the stage, cookie opus.

SPEAKER_00 9:16

That would be fierce, honey. Like, and we're getting some of your proceeds if you decide to pop that name, ladies.

SPEAKER_02 9:22

I feel.

SPEAKER_00 9:24

I felt like it was cookie o'puss. Or am I thinking of a James Bond mixed in with the Carvel situation?

SPEAKER_02 9:34

I think you are, but that's how my brain works.

SPEAKER_00 9:36

And Austin Powers, what was her name? Uh Octopussy? A lot of vagina. A lot of vagina. And and uh octopusy and Carvel.

unknown 9:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 9:46

So maybe it was Felicity Shagwell.

SPEAKER_00 9:48

Felicity Shagwell.

SPEAKER_02 9:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

Um, I love it. Wait, what are we talking about?

SPEAKER_02 9:55

How do we Fudgy the Whale? Fudgy the whale.

SPEAKER_01 9:58

Well, not the couple of years, hasn't it? Chairs, yeah. Oh, chairs. Yeah, well, chairs, kind of chairs.

SPEAKER_00 10:03

That's what we were talking about. It's been a long day.

unknown 10:07

It's been a long day.

SPEAKER_00 10:09

I love your hair, I hope you would. Speaking of, you look delicious. Thank you. You give good faith, honey. I'd love to sit on it. Oh, oh my god. I can't help it.

SPEAKER_01 10:18

So yes. So who were your favorite guests on your on your podcast? Who are your top, top five?

SPEAKER_02 10:29

The podcast hasn't been um a long, very long, only started in September. Um, however, obviously, you two. Um, our friend Diane Brill.

SPEAKER_03 10:38

Diane!

SPEAKER_02 10:39

Who was fantastic? She's amazing. Um, because come on, she's she's got so many stories in her.

SPEAKER_00 10:44

Even when we had her on, we're like, we gotta have you back for part two. Totally. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:47

She's such a New Yorker's New Yorker. Queen of New York is like such a cool lady. Oh my god. Yeah. Um, I would I would say them. I mean, honestly, like I'm lucky because everyone I've been having on my show thus far, for the most part, have been people in my life already. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of the reasons I really decided to kick it off was because I feel lucky that I know a lot of people doing a lot of cool shit, and I love celebrating people in my life. You want other people to know about them, do this this way.

SPEAKER_00 11:16

Educate and curate all the things.

SPEAKER_02 11:20

Yeah, yeah. Like my uh a good friend of mine, Andrew Werner, who's an event photographer, nightlife. He's, you know, he's been doing a lot in New York for so long. My other Frontereau is also a photographer, etc. Actually, a lot of photographers, and not on purpose. It's just your house. Exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 11:35

And and and and we are sort of used to that in this creative community. Yeah. Especially the New York-based one. Yeah. It's um it it's it's it's about that. It's about calling on your on your peers. Yeah. Um, because they are your champions, and we are, you know, we're each other's champions. We we always are here for each other. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 11:59

Yeah. And I think reflexively, that's what I've been able to accomplish with having them on the show. It's sort of like a way I've been able to scratch my own back that I don't think I've done before by way of like celebrating that. That's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

And don't you also find that too, Khan and Zach, this is for both of you, because I feel like even though we know some of the people that we have on, either really close or um uh adjacent, you learn so much by just having them on the show because you'd be asking the questions that you normally wouldn't have asked them if they've been your sister forever. Yeah. Or, you know, you've had dinner with them, you know what I mean? It's a very intimate, fun way of getting to know them and having everybody else get to know them as at the same time.

SPEAKER_02 12:41

Yeah. Yeah. I want to highlight like everything for them, but I also want to like dig in and talk about, you know, things maybe in different ways than they wouldn't usually want to. Because not everyone always wants to open up and be that way.

SPEAKER_00 12:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:55

I think I think that idea of people always love talking about themselves. I think that can be true. It's not always.

SPEAKER_01 13:01

But not to the extent of going a deep dive in like you would on a podcast, you know.

SPEAKER_02 13:05

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

And also the world has kind of changed with our devices, our lives are sort of laid out 24-7. Right, right. So, you know, I I think um, you know, podcasts are a way to sort of clear the noise. Yes, yes, and and and really have it be concentrated and not through the sort of lens of likes. Right. And, you know, can I monetize this? Right. It's it's um it's about true connection.

SPEAKER_00 13:37

Yeah, it's a nice little window. Yeah, you know? Yeah. You could peek in and be like, you know what, this looks interesting. Let me dive in a little bit. I was just gonna say it's like eavesdropping. Yeah, it's totally eavesdropping. It's completely moderism in a way. Yes, it is. Because you can listen to it or you can look at it. That's what I love about podcasts. It's different than doing a talk show. Like when I did a talk show, you had to feel you know, you had to be conscious about going to watch it. Where now it's like, you know, we've got viewers, and I'm sure you do too, who listen to it, and sometimes they'll listen to it and they'll watch it. Yeah. Like, oh, I was at the gym, I can listen to it, or I can watch. I was driving, you know what I mean? And I listened to it. But then I got home and I wanted to see what the visuals look like. Yeah. I love that everybody's now kind of gone in that direction of wanting to have also a YouTube of it and then also on all the streaming platforms. It's so smart.

SPEAKER_02 14:25

I was terrified to do that at first. I was Were you? Because I look, I I done radio in college at my college radio station. That was a blast. But when I knew that I was going to film it, I was fucking terrified.

SPEAKER_00 14:36

We spoke about that. Yeah. I said, you're gonna hide this face.

SPEAKER_02 14:39

Oh, well, thank you. I know that's punem.

SPEAKER_00 14:41

Hello?

SPEAKER_01 14:44

Oh my gosh, never.

SPEAKER_00 14:47

Oh, wait, what's today's album? I did a random scroll just to see. And I said, this is a sign. Look what the first one that came up when Zachy Pookie sat down, honey.

SPEAKER_02 14:56

Um it's probably great. I don't even know who they are or what they're doing.

SPEAKER_00 15:03

How you doing, honey? Mm-hmm. You know she loves the thing. I'm not gonna say it. I know.

SPEAKER_01 15:08

I'll tell you later. Okay. I'm all ears. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:12

Oh yeah, I like your ears too.

SPEAKER_02 15:14

Oh, thank you. Thank you. But yeah, it's been release therapy for me to put this out for myself.

SPEAKER_00 15:19

I love release therapy.

SPEAKER_02 15:20

Me too.

SPEAKER_00 15:21

Oh, it's everything. Couldn't let that one go anyway.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

I let one go. You did? Which one was that? One go. Shut up. Oh, I let one go.

SPEAKER_02 15:37

It's constraint, it's gross. It is, it is.

SPEAKER_01 15:40

It's good for the self. It is.

SPEAKER_00 15:41

And she's gotten really good with uh letting it go. Oh I love when people are like, Lena, I love the way you get kind of get out of her face and fall out and laugh, honey. I'm like, I love it too. So Zachy Poose, tell us more about you. Like, what else can other people see when they don't see you on your podcast?

SPEAKER_02 16:05

Um I mean, other than being a born and raised New Yorker. I I am super lucky to have grown up like in and around the music business. Yes. So I think when my parents got together, they had made a conscious decision. Well, they met in New York on Valentine's Day at Valentine's Day party. I know you can't make that up. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 16:25

Oh gorgeous.

SPEAKER_02 16:26

Yeah, all that. And then and when they got together, I think. It's a New York moment. I know, right? But they knew that when they raised my sister and I here, they wanted us to have all this culture. Culture at our fingertips. Yeah. It was like, we want you to grow up with all these shows.

SPEAKER_00 16:41

I think that's a conscious decision of kids, uh, parents who have New York kids. Yeah. You know what I mean? You have to be thoughtful because we knew a lot of people who we came up with who are about ready to have kids and they move upstate or they move somewhere else. Yeah. Where it's just like they don't want to do that thing with their kids like they were done.

SPEAKER_01 16:55

But but I I I think it's also people who might not have grown up in New York and know sort of the the the joy. It's everything being able to jump on the train, yes, like you said, the culture and and and and go to another culture. Yeah, you walk a couple of blocks and you it's a whole different world.

SPEAKER_00 17:15

It is, and also the diversity of people. Yes, you will always get a Benetton ad of every type of culture from all over the world. In your it's called the malting uh melt in the universe. You know what I mean? Yeah, because it has everything. It I always say that New York is its own Europe in America, yeah, because you have every culture, and but it all blends together so beautifully.

SPEAKER_01 17:37

And because when you go around the world, it it isn't so foreign. Yeah, no, no, exactly. Yeah, you know, I I I go to Italy, I go to France, I go, I go to Asia. Yeah. Need the culture, yes, yes, yes. So so but but you don't feel the languages so foreign and like oh it's so caustic and no, it's you you you've you you've been you know to to the deli, or you've been to you know the store and went to their ocean, yeah or there. Yes, and you you gain such a wonderful sort of experience and um um loving of all cultures, yes, yes, because because it is not foreign. Yeah, and that's such a wonderful gift, it is a beautiful gift. And and and and they wanted you to have it.

SPEAKER_02 18:32

Yeah, and I I I'll never uh I'll never forget and I'll always be grateful. And look, by the way, I think travel makes us all better. Absolutely, yes, yeah. I think it you know it makes us all smarter, much more aware. But it's great. I mean, I feel lucky to feel homesick for New York after a certain time.

SPEAKER_00 18:51

You can't wait to leave, but you can't wait to get home.

SPEAKER_02 18:53

I know.

SPEAKER_00 18:54

And also there's something special about when you leave Manhattan and you see that skyline, you're like, oh, and then when you come home, it's like, yeah, that's my fucking city. Yeah. You know what I mean? New York strong.

SPEAKER_02 19:04

You know, I don't love traffic, but sometimes you want to come home and you're like, oh, this is it's like I it's all that, you know, and it's gonna be an extra hour from JFK back home. Like, you know what? That's true. Who fucking cares?

SPEAKER_01 19:17

But on that ride home, um, in in in the midst of the traffic, when you hear, oh fuck you, it's like, oh but you know what also too.

SPEAKER_00 19:30

Do you guys find this? The other thing that I find and I've I've learned in my maturity of when I travel is not to take my New York inks with me. Like, oh my god, why are they taking so fucking long? Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Because we're used to a fast pace. Like I remember like one of the first times I was in Europe as a uh um uh a young adult traveling um in my art, um, and I'd be walking with friends or whatever, and I'm like, you guys are walking so fucking slow. Like they're like, you're well slow down. We're just going, you know, over here. I'm like, but you don't think about it the pace because it's that New York thing in you, but I found now in my maturity, I like to slow my roll. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:08

I don't want to bring New York with me. Right, right. I want to bring the good parts of the room. Exactly. Yes, but I don't need to hit it right there. Everything about that because then you're taking away from the presentation. Right, right, right, right. Like, exempt, for example, if I decide to go to Italy, they're they're known for favorite place taking, yeah, by darkness.

SPEAKER_01 20:27

Three hours for dinner. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 20:29

All of that and enjoy that because there's the art to it. Yeah, it's special, the conversation to it. All of it. Yes, the way they make love, breadsticks, they take the free breadstick. I mean, and an anti-like to take the time with the honey, and all day long they can, honey.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

And then a meat dish, and then a parativo.

SPEAKER_00 20:46

Aperitifo and the creams, all of it.

SPEAKER_01 20:50

And a parativo. I believe so. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 20:53

I only just started Italian on Duolingo, so don't go by me. Like literally two weeks ago. So don't go by me.

unknown 21:00

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 21:01

Yeah. Where are our burgers?

SPEAKER_00 21:06

Well that's the inside yesterday's past service in my OCD. Apparently, I thought the bag was empty and I threw it out, honey, come to find out there were burgers inside. Ah, they were good burgers too. If I say the name, that means you gotta uh they gotta reimburse. No, that's well, that too, but they gotta they gotta be a sponsor. I don't know. Oh, Casey Duke wouldn't like that, honey. She wouldn't like us being sponsored by by burgers, honey, even though Hott can get it. Oops.

unknown 21:36

Oops.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

Okay, you want you want the hamburglar to come burgle you?

SPEAKER_00 21:41

Again, he's gone.

SPEAKER_01 21:43

I know. And Ronald's gone too. I know, I can't believe they left. That queen is gone, honey.

SPEAKER_00 21:49

He is a drag queen. She was a drag queen. So speaking of drag queens, but no, yes. Uh no, um, I wanted to ask you, how do you find being a New Yorker? How do you find um dating from then till now in the city? Because there were not apps when we were dating in the beginning. Yes. Thank God. Yeah. Especially from your perspective, I want to know.

SPEAKER_02 22:14

I had an old boss, a great boss who was straight. He he once asked me a similar question. And I told him it first of all, dating to me is a necessary evil. Sometimes, a lot of the time. That's interesting. My sister's fiance actually works for Match Group, which owns him. You know, Tinder Bumble, all the a lot of them. So we have a lot of these types of conversations. He's on the software engineering side, but he's building, you know, the algorithmic interface and how they connect and all that.

SPEAKER_00 22:45

And we'll take notes from family members. Yeah. I got a total of you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:48

Please.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

Do you like this feature?

SPEAKER_00 22:51

Right, right.

SPEAKER_02 22:51

Yeah. Exactly. I think that we are there are times where we can feel like we're alone together on our phones and on these apps and all that. But at the same time, you have the opportunity to meet so many people so quickly. And yes, a lot of it has to do with living in New York and being here. But sometimes you just kind of have to go through it before you find that person that you're looking for. It's also a really great way to discover new restaurants and bars and establish yourself in all those places. You're right. You're right. True, true, true, true.

SPEAKER_00 23:28

You make it sound very sweet and poetic the way you sound it. That's nice when somebody's coming on that trajectory. It's not when the other person is fronting and perpetrating a fraud, acting like they are, and then it's not when you get there.

SPEAKER_02 23:39

Yeah, I call it are we talking about the date? Yes. Yeah, I call that an emotional terrorist. Fucking hell.

SPEAKER_00 23:45

They're sending their records.

SPEAKER_02 23:46

It's exhausting. Yeah, it's also that cat catfishing.

SPEAKER_00 23:50

That's that's happened to me maybe once or twice. No. Um maybe that's why you do a video call beforehand, honey. I know. You got to make sure that the taste is look, honey.

SPEAKER_02 23:59

I I used to think that was a little awkward at first, but now I'm like, you know, no, it's um it's I would I'm so much more protective of my time than I used to be. And yourself. Yeah. I've got certain rules for for dating in general. I'll I'll do what me to do. Break it down, please. Absolutely. That's why I asked you, baby.

SPEAKER_01 24:17

Because I'm horrible. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 24:19

Okay. So so first date, I I never want to commit to anything too long because I don't know the person.

SPEAKER_00 24:27

And therefore, if it goes long, it's cute.

SPEAKER_02 24:28

Yeah, great. And then you can, you know, you could stay there, you could go. So what is your what is your usual setup? I will try to, you know, meet at a bar for cocktails, whether they drink alcohol or not, it's fine. I just want to play social. Something social where there's it's not too quiet and there's enough going on because look, you could end up on a first date with someone who's, you know, a bit awkward. It might not be might not be great. Um, and that's fine. Right. But at least you have something in the background.

SPEAKER_00 24:55

Right, something going on, and it's not just dead. Where it's not dead.

SPEAKER_02 24:58

Yeah, exactly. Okay. And then, and so I'll never commit to dinner on the first date because again, I just don't know this person. It's too well. It's great for the second date. Yeah. You know, I think that's really meant first second date. And there's nothing wrong with that. Some people are like, what do you mean? You don't want to commit. It's like, no, I don't know you. I don't know you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:14

So do you ever find that they go past a first date? Yeah, of course. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:17

And then and then when they do, you know, we can we can get there. No, believe me, it doesn't happen all the time. It this is not like a it's not automatic thing. We're like, but when it happens, it's great. And I'm like, yeah, okay, we'll do dinner and maybe we'll like, you know, catch a you know, some jazz or something downtown, whatever it is. Like Arthur's Tavern is one of my favorite fucking places in New York. It's you know been open almost 100 years or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 25:41

Well, thank you. So what what apps are you on?

SPEAKER_02 25:44

Um, I have I mean, I've used let me see if I can find you.

SPEAKER_00 25:47

Not too good.

SPEAKER_02 25:48

I have literally, yeah. Listen, I've I have used probably all of them at some point, like in all my years of dating. I think right now, um, shout out to Hinge and my and my future brother-in-law. Um, you're great. The dating app meant to be deleted. That's how they brand themselves correct. But here's the here's the thing. I will say that every dating app, uh in some way, you could make it whatever you want to make it.

SPEAKER_00 26:14

But the other person has to be there on the other side of you.

SPEAKER_02 26:17

Correct. So I'll use that. I've used Raya. I've had a little bit of a. I've never heard of Raya.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

Only when I was ever traveling did I ever, but it was always people I've either worked with in the industry. Ryan, it's like a um, you have to be recommended from someone and it's very industry. Yeah, okay. It was it was more of a never worked in New York. I called it never.

SPEAKER_02 26:35

I called it the Soho House of Dating Apps like 10 years ago.

SPEAKER_00 26:39

That's a perfect assessment, you know? Yeah, okay. Hire me. There's literally people who have been on the waiting list to get hire me as your lover.

SPEAKER_02 26:46

Yeah, literally. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:48

I was recommended and I literally got on in a week.

SPEAKER_02 26:50

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:51

And it's and I got rid of it, obviously, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:54

Right. And it's and it's exclusive until they let everybody in. Everybody in. And then they get another one that's supposed to be the new version of that, and so on and so forth.

SPEAKER_00 27:02

Okay, well, I like where you're coming from. So, everybody, anybody watching out there, honey, if you're single. Are you single? Yeah. Um, you know where you can find him, honey. Hop on the hinge hinge. Okay. I got rid of that app. Maybe I should get it again. But we listen, you know we can't let you leave without a fish bowl. You want a fishbowl with us, baby? Yes, I with you, with you, with you, of course.

SPEAKER_01 27:25

Yes, please.

SPEAKER_00 27:26

Come on, two fish bowls and an dream. Who do you call and fish? Zach, you are everything.

SPEAKER_02 27:32

You are fantastic.

SPEAKER_00 27:34

And we still gotta do little polling.

SPEAKER_02 27:35

We absolutely have to, so I picked one of those. Okay. Okay, what'd you get? Oh, you go to. Oh, did I get two? Was I supposed to get two?

SPEAKER_00 27:43

No, just one. Oh, I'll read the one that I got. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 27:46

What is the scent of a good night out? Oh my god. Oh, Jesus. What?

SPEAKER_00 27:52

I didn't even say anything.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

Who made these?

SPEAKER_00 27:55

It wasn't me. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 27:56

It's one of our producers.

SPEAKER_00 27:58

Or HR, which was obviously getting me in trouble. I'm always getting taken in the back to get reprimanded. But go on. Okay, come on.

SPEAKER_02 28:09

Okay, so. Wait, what was the answer? Question again. What is the scent of a good night out? So here, let me let me just preface this by saying that up until I swear to God, very recently, when you guys clocked me last time on my podcast, I never bought a scent before other than Deodorant because I never felt like I could own one. I always felt like an imposter. Every time I tried on a scent, I was like, none of this feels like me until I smelled you right away, and I was like, oh Zach. Well, that day. So I walked into one day. I just woke up and said, you know what? I think today's the day I buy a fucking scent. So I walked into Baurito and they have a new scent called alto Astral. And I just felt like I think I could wear this all year long. Maybe it works with your chemistry. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 28:54

You can say you want something, but sometimes it doesn't work agree with you. Yeah. So that agrees. It changes your body temperature, your oils. Yeah, yeah. It smelt like rape on you, honey. I was expecting it. Ah yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:07

Thank you, I think.

SPEAKER_00 29:08

You're welcome, honey.

SPEAKER_02 29:09

That at a dirty gym martini. That's my sense out.

SPEAKER_01 29:13

Absolutely. Okay. What about you, Ken? Oh, um, uh-uh. What's the scent of a good night out? A good night out.

SPEAKER_00 29:25

Regret.

unknown 29:27

Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 29:29

I don't regret anything anymore. I really don't. I just like, you know what? It has to happen. Go ahead, come.

SPEAKER_01 29:35

Regret and shame. Best scent ever. Gin and regret.

SPEAKER_00 29:41

Gin and regret. That's a book title, honey.

SPEAKER_02 29:43

It's for Little and Grace. Karen Walker. I thought I smelled gin and regret. There you go. Oh, that's right. Thanks. Beverly Leslie.

SPEAKER_00 29:52

The world's oldest girl.

SPEAKER_02 29:56

It was perfect.

SPEAKER_00 29:56

Oh, we lost her during COVID, didn't we? Yeah. Yes. We lost some good ones, honey. Yes. Sorry, Con.

SPEAKER_01 30:01

Go ahead, honey. Um okay. Um, so a good night out would mean that um you would go and have a little Nosh. So the smell of pizza. That that that sounds like a good night out. That's great. A pizza with anchovies or something. Oh, here we go with the concoctions.

SPEAKER_02 30:28

You know what? I relate to that because I have so many memories of like where these places that are over here. Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes those conversations at that late night diner or those pizza are some of the best ones. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 30:44

All right. What was the question again?

SPEAKER_02 30:45

What is the scent of a good night out? Oh, here we go. Um, not at home.

SPEAKER_00 30:51

Oh, shit. I was about to say poppers, no. Um, the poppers. Well, it depends on if he's got a will or not. Um, a good night out. Well, maybe he might have poppers in his in his pocket. You never know, honey. Or some ether. I mean, you don't know where the night's gonna end, honey. Um, did we meet in the Russian bathtubs? Where did we meet? It depends. Like, what kind of night am I having? Um, like guys make a picture. Okay. Um about uh a Sunday uh beer blast at the Eagle. Okay. Okay. So then poppers. Poppers and and and and and and and lager and and and shots of tequila. Okay, yes. All right, okay and the smell of balls and and jock straps. Oh, sorry. All the scents go together.

SPEAKER_02 31:48

There are no Sunday scaries found here, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_01 31:52

It sounds like the way Halston was born. That's right. That's right. Baby, I like scents. I want you to come home from the gym. I want to smell you.

SPEAKER_00 32:00

Zach, Ena. Catch you next time with a fishbike. I love you, sweetheart. You're welcome. Anytime, and thank you again for having us on your podcast. Anytime. And so much continued success. We cheers you. Let's all cheers, but not just because of water. Zach, say the cheers, honey. Take us out.

SPEAKER_02 32:18

New York has brought me. No, that's not what we did last time. No, look, I I'm so proud of you both. I'm honored to, you know, be here in this space with you guys. You spread so much joy. You're both icons. I don't have to repeat your history back to you, but I'm so thrilled to be here. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 32:35

I love you. Thank you. Cheers, everybody. Cheers, my love. Cheers. Cheers, Sakina.

SPEAKER_01 32:39

A look in the eye or seven years bad set. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 32:42

Oh, look in the eye. You guys, we're here every Thursday. Like, subscribe. Thank you for being on this messy mascara roller coaster with us. We love taking you there. And we also love all of your comments. We we got some good ones, honey. Anyway, sending you blessings, love and light, and always some brown sugar kisses. What you got, Kan Kong?

SPEAKER_01 33:04

Um, I have some love for my sugar dumplings and some deuces, bitches. Deuces, bitches, kick those feet up, y'all.

SPEAKER_00 33:14

We're by here. Whoa, exactly! Oh my god, that was fabulous. Our show is produced by Josh Rosenspock and Matthew Green. Our gorgeous graphics are by Daryl Raymond. Our theme music is You Need It. Produced and written and performed by 808 Beach, John J.C. Carr, and Bill Coleman. Courtesy of Peace Biscuit. Our perfect production designer is Daryl Dickens. This season's hair has been done by the heavenly hair goddess herself, Mariah. Our very special thanks to Jason Canner for all your wonderful support. The cutting up is a Pride House Media production.